Please, Jackie? I need it for school.
Mm-mmm.
Nobody believes me about the talismans,
but if I show them some super-rabbit speed...
A talisman is not a toy, Jade.
Come on, Jackie. You were a kid once.
Didn't you ever want to be the big chan on campus?
Yes, I did.
And this is the scar I have to show for it.
I don't want you getting hurt, too.
So no showing off.
But as long as I don't show off,
I can still borrow it, right?
See you after school. Bye!
Jackie'll never even notice it's...
Jackie: Jade? Jade!
Whah!
Jade, did you just. Intercept my chronoton beam?
Me, kepler?
No.
Can't have you disrupting the time continuum.
Heh heh.
Baah! There you are.
You forgot your lunch.
Heh! Thanks.
Whew! And she's safe.
Ah! I wish we hadn't lost that speed talisman.
I wish chan was never born.
I wish one of them talismans
would come to us for a change.
♪ Boom chicka-chicka boom-boom chicka-chicka ♪
♪ Boom uhh ♪
I wish I had a million bucks.
♪ Boom chicka-chicka ♪
♪ Boom-boom chicka-chicka boom ♪
(gasps) I'm late!
(All grumble)
Sparks? Since when are there...
Whoa.
Aaaaaaaah!
Uhh!
Ok...
That was weird.
Hey, miss hartman, sorry I'm...
Ha ha ha ha ha!
What are you wearing?
Ahem.
Are you in the right classroom, young lady?
Miss hartman, it's me.
Jade chan. Nice do.
Chan. Of course.
Class, Jade is the new student we've been expecting.
I am?
Now, let's start with current events.
Who watched president Carter's speech on TV...
New student? Bell-bottoms?
President who?
What is going... (Gasps)
1976?
I'm not late for class. I'm early. Way early.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I'm your new student, Jackie chan.
No way.
Another chan?
Are you two related?
B-b-b-bathroom.
What did you do?
You're the speed talisman,
not the talisman- that-sends-you-back- in-time talisman.
The beam.
Kepler said I was messing with the time something-uum.
Well, whatever you did, I'm gonna reverse it, fast.
Hmm?
Rrrrr!
Come oooooon!
Pet rocks, mood rings.
Get 'em while they're now, baby.
Ohh... I'm stuck in the seventies.
So, she speeds off, and then, zappo... she's gone.
It was freaky, big v,
left behind some kind of energy hole.
Energy hole? Zappo?
A crude description, valmont.
But I indeed sense a wrinkle in time.
The child has used the speed talisman
to forge a tunnel to the past.
And if shendu's rabbit dug a hole,
all you idiots have to do to secure the talisman
is go through that hole.
But tunnels through time flow only in one direction.
If you wish them to return,
they will require this.
So, uh, just how far back does this tunnel thingy go?
We talking dinosaurs?
I don't care if it leads to the big bang, you buffoons!
Just bring me that talisman.
(Telephone rings) Hello?
Jackie, you are a terrible guardian!
Uncle?
Jade's teacher phoned.
She is skipping school.
One more thing: These kinds of things
never happened when I was raising you!
They certainly didn't.
Kepler, have you seen Jade... aah!
Same beam almost fried Jade.
Maybe I should move the emitter.
Uhh! Maybe? This is a safety hazard!
My chronoton beam is not a hazard.
If anyone were to be exposed,
this scanner would reveal...
A trail of particles...
Leading out of the lab.
And straight to Jade.
Bell-bottoms. Uck!
That's so nineties!
I got to find a way home, fast!
Can not!
Can so!
Can not. Nobody can jump this fence.
It's too tall.
I can. Watch.
Hyuh... Aah... gotcha!
Whoa! Ohh!
Where did you come from?
Ha ha!
Evel knievel wannabe.
Both: Ha ha ha ha ha!
You ok?
Didn't hurt yourself, did you?
I'm just very embarrassed.
My scar...
What scar?
Exactly.
I really will be able to jump that fence someday.
Oh, I believe you.
I'm learning kung fu.
My parents sent me to America
so I can train with my uncle.
Uncle! Why didn't I think of that?
Whoa! Come on!
I don't know about this.
Enter.
No way! There could be raptors or t-rexes.
I'm not your Guinea piiiii...
If there are dinosaurs,
they will be busy eating Finn.
Whoa!
(All shout)
Ow! Oof!
Finn: Get down.
Get funky.
It's the seventies.
The talisman is near.
(Gasps)
How did you know where I live?
Whoa! What are these?
8-track tapes.
But where are the antiques?
While I wish to trade in ancient treasures,
8-track is the wave of the future.
How did you know about antiques?
Because I'm Jade chan, your niece,
and I need your expert magic advice!
Magic?
Oh... Guess you don't study with chi master fong
for another few years.
The talisman.
Shouldn't you guys be, like, 9 years old?
Jackie, go to your room.
Whoa. It's chan, but bite-size.
And if we off him when he's little...
He'll never get big.
Destroy him.
(Gasps)
Bad day.
All: Rrrah!
Hyuh!
Ahh... Hyuh!
Hyoo-wuh!
Huhh!
Whoa. Jackie gets it all from uncle.
Of course I do. He trains me.
Hyah-ha! Whoa.
Run!
Wah... Haa!
You will pay for that!
All: Ow! Oh! Ow! Ooh! Hey!
What's that?
My lucky rabbit's foot.
The talisman.
Sorry. We'll bring them back. Thank you!
What are you doing... aah!
Jackie: Bwaaah!
(All sigh)
What are we gonna do?
If we go back empty-handed,
valmont's gonna freak.
Ooh! Valmont! He'd know what to do.
Let's find him and ask him.
Earth to ratso. It's 1976.
Valmont is a kid, a British kid.
He's not gonna be in San Francisco.
Bingo.
What do you buffoons want?
Wow. That's him, all right.
What are you doing in America?
(Scoffs) I'm an exchange student,
and I won't be harassed
by American salesmen.
Who sent you people?
Uh, you did.
See, it's like this, little v.
We're not salesmen. We're from the future.
Impossible.
My particles couldn't make a wormhole
unless Jade was moving at unthinkable speed.
But this is definitely a bridge in the time continuum.
Jade's either in the future, or she's...
In the past!
My scar! Oh, Jade's changing the past,
my past!
Careful. One-way trip.
But if Jade's in the past,
the future could be in big trouble.
Slow down! Please, slow down!
Think we ditched 'em.
Ditched who? Why are those men after me?
What's that rabbit thing? How can you run so fast?
What's going on?
Ok. Here's the deal.
I'm from the future. You're my uncle.
The talisman's magic. The dark hand is after it.
And now they want to get rid of you
so they won't have to fight you when you grow up.
Get it?
That's crazy, Jade.
You're crazy.
Do I really grow up to be a criminal mastermind?
Uh-huh.
Well, then, I say we kidnap the old man
and use a ransom note to lure this chan into an ambush.
Uh, that's the plan you used the first time we met chan.
And it didn't work then.
Then might I suggest you leave him...
To me.
Sir! Come quickly! Your nephew needs help!
Jackie?
Where is he?
Uhh... Ohh...
My first act of mega-villainy.
This is exhilarating.
Coast is clear. Come on.
Uncle's probably worried sick.
Jackie: Hello? Uncle? Hello?
(Gasps) The dark hand's got uncle!
We have to rescue him.
I have to rescue him.
If they get their hands on you,
it'll mess up the future.
And if uncle is harmed, it will mess up my future.
Jade! Jade?
Oh! The dark hand's got uncle!
What are they doing here?
Mmm... Mmm... Mmm...
Mmm...
So, uh, what if your host parents
come home, little big v?
I will simply assure them
this is all part of some sort of
social studies project for school.
Hey!
Ooh!
Hwuh! Uhh!
Argh! Gah! Eeg!
Unh! Uhh!
Raarrr!
Mmm-mmm!
Whoa!
Bah-hah!
Whew!
What's with the crystal ball?
I'm coming, uncle!
Jade: Jackie!
Ohh!
Ready to rewrite history, little chan?
Noooooooo...
(Blubbers) Help! Help!
Jackie hasn't learned how to swim yet?
Hang on, Jack...
The talisman.
Unh! Let go!
(Chokes, sputters)
(Pants)
Oh! Oh...
Bad day.
(Chokes)
(Choking)
Oh! Let me go! Uhh!
Hand over the talisman.
Fetch!
Jackie! Say something!
(Coughs)
(Gasps)
That'll do.
How come no one invited me...
To the pool party?
How 'bout we just go home
with the talisman?
Valmont: You can't leave me!
I'm your boss!
You got to be kidding me.
The talisman. It's magic.
Uh-huh. Give me a hand, Jackie.
Coming. Coming.
Aah! Aah!
Bah! Bah!
Are you... Are you...
You are! You are!
I have to break up the lovefest,
but the bad guys said they're going home!
Which means they can go home.
Must be that crystal ball thing.
You mean this?
I took it from the man who grabbed me.
I'm telling you, I didn't lose it!
Lose what, you buffoons?
Jade: This.
Rrrrrr!
Ooh-hoo!
Ooh.
(Kids chatter)
Give me that!
Hyah-gaah!
Everybody. Is kung fu fighting.
Hyuh!
Hyuh! Uhh! Uhh!
(Kids cheer)
♪ I got the boogie fever ♪
♪ Uh, uh ♪
♪ I got the fever ♪
♪ I, uh, got the fever ♪
(kids cheer)
Where'd tohru go with the...
(gasps) Jackie!
I can see the future.
Huh?
Wet willies!
Ooh!
Big me, catch!
Tohru: Chan!
Get off me!
The crystal, or you'll have an unhappy childhood.
Let him go, or he will, too!
Do as he says. Please.
Hold it. Chan wouldn't hurt a kid,
not even mini-valmont.
Ohh...
Jackie wouldn't...
But I would!
Do it, and no one leaves.
No!
(Gasps)
Wait!
Uh-oh.
We'll be stranded!
(Kids cheer)
But I don't want to go back! I don't want to go back!
You may have won today, chan.
But we will meet again, and...
Hyah!
Aah!
Jackie, it looks like you'll have
a very interesting future.
With a very odd niece.
One more thing: Did she say anything else
about my future in antiques?
Uhh! Unh! Grr-grr!
Uh-oh.
The old days.
Time continuum's good as new.
But I still can't figure out
how you made a wormhole
without going supersonic.
I did go supersonic.
See, the rabbit talisman has magic powers, and...
(chuckles) Magic powers.
I'll prove it! Hey, Jackie, can I borrow the...
Heh. Never mind.
What is taking them so long?
(Old man's voice) Yo, big v.
We, uh, took the long way home.
So, uh,
you can change us back, right?
Interviewer: Hey, Jackie...
Were you cool when you were a kid?
All the kids in the school... they didn't like me.
I remember we testing,
uh, the skill in the school.
One by one, you'd do a somersault,
do different tricks to pass the test.
They all push me.
They go first. They go first.
I'm the last one. What I'm gonna do?
Everybody do somersault... shoo!
Shoo! Shoo!
I go out, I do one somersault like this.
That low. My nose just touch the ground.
Then the teacher, "oh, good."
So, I think, "I'm cool."