Yes!
Yes.
To find this portal,
we must travel north... Very north.
Brrr, chilly.
Very, very north.
Ok, check the warranty on the box.
We're like halfway to the moon.
Where did you think
tso LAN the moon demon would be found?
(Nervous chuckle) No way to get up there.
Ha! Yeah, right.
It's not like valmont owns a flying saucer.
Yeah, I mean, we'd have to go all the way to cape
whatchacall in Florida to catch a rocket to space... oof!
Ahh, very well, then.
Why couldn't it have been the earth demon?
Jade.
Maybe a working volcano exhibit
is too advanced for me.
Jackie?
Science project.
Valmont and his cronies have been spotted in Florida,
near cape canaveral.
I'm on my way.
Goin' on a mission, Jackie?!
Uh, no. Not a mission. It's...
A conference on feng shui.
In Minnesota.
Want to come?
Um, I would Jackie, but, you know
I have that new science project to cook up.
My goosebumps are gettin' goosebumps.
I say we vote.
Anyone who doesn't want to go orbital,
raise your hand.
Uh, we didn't count valmont's vote.
Never mind valmont.
You will board that spacecraft or you will perish.
Unh.
No sign of the portal.
Let's keep it that way.
Rocks and minerals... Dullsville.
Photosynthesis... Double dullsville.
(Sighs) Maybe I can get inspired by the science network.
Announcer: The launchpad area has been cleared for liftoff
of the experimental space shuttle, saratoga,
which will later dock with space station niagara.
Hello.
Minnesota, hmm?
Announcer: Liftoff in t-minus 30 seconds.
Oh, uh, don't we need like, astronaut training?
Climb aboard!
Announcer: Countdown at 10, 9...
8, 7, 6...
5, 4...
3, 2...
1...
Liftoff. We have liftoff.
Aah!
Black.
Tell uncle I have a strong hunch
that the portal belongs to the moon demon.
(Machines hiss) (Gasp)
(Gasp) Talk later!
Ah!
Whoa.
Ahh, liftoff, indeed.
Where are we?
What are you wearing?
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Uh, we're cruisin' for la Luna, big v.
But that's impossible!
Who's piloting this craft?
Ahoy.
There has been a grave error.
I demand you turn this ship around, posthaste!
Aah!
(Screaming)
Aw.
Aah! Guh, guh...
Hi, Jackie.
Jade!
Check out the monkey suit.
Literally.
But, how did you...
Speed talisman. Fastest way to get to...
Minnesota.
Autopilot.
You can relax, big v.
Major Matt monkey's flying with training wheels.
I feel so much better.
Ugh, those whirly rides make me nauseous.
Space makes me nauseous.
The spinning of the station creates gravitational pull. See?
I am so going to get an "a" on my science project.
Secure the station.
Piece of cake. We're the only ones here.
Let us ensure utmost privacy.
Surveillance and communications systems
are down? How?
The monkey.
Now, we wait for this station to intersect
with the portal belonging to tso LAN.
And open her up with this key.
I hope uncle is on his way with that chi spell.
This is a level 7 override.
My engineers will take over from here.
Ok.
I have a second shuttle prepped to take you to Jackie.
Aiiyah! Do I look like flash Gordon?
I am too old to play space man!
But, if you do not go, sensei, who will cast the chi spell?
(Groans)
We are mere minutes from the portal location.
Ready the pan ku box.
Uhh!
Well?!
Yo, chow
oh!
Whoa.
Chan!
Everybody's an astronaut.
Where is the pan ku box?!
(Hissing)
(Snarls) Hak foo!
Retrieve it! Unh!
You go, hak!
And you, simpletons,
get chan!
Jackie!
You use it!
Raaah!
Uhh! Uhh!
The eagle has landed.
Tiger prowls...
Through pudding.
Turtle fist!
Sloth kick!
Aah!
Uhh! (Gasp)
Oh, boy.
(Chuckling)
Flying monkey snatches magic box.
Yaah!
Uhh!
Where is hak foo?!
The portal approaches.
No box, no demon. Check, please!
(Chattering)
Good monkey.
Nice monkey.
No, cosmo! Run!
Give it up! Give it up!
(Cosmo screeches)
Huh?
Yes.
Houston, we have a problem.
Get it.
Tso LAN, so good to see you.
Skip the pleasantries, shendu.
I am interested only in seizing control of the moon's gravity
so that I may pull the ball from its orbit.
But... but that'll wreck all of earth's ecosystems.
How do you know?
I watch the science network.
Puhhht!
The child is correct.
And only then will earth's landscape be to my liking.
Whoa! He wants to kebosh the planet.
And you made us let him out?
Just be glad you are up here.
Duh-oh!
Argh! Ehh...
You have joined us in time to see the Nemesis of all demon sorcerers destroyed.
This is Jackie chan?
No. That is.
Bwwaaaa!
Ah! Oh! Uhh!
Duh-ah!
Time to put out the trash.
Uhh!
Shendu, I despise you.
I heard that.
It appears the pleasure of destroying you shall be mine alone.
A good chi spell would be nice right now.
Tohru, can you hear me?
Wha-a-a-at?
You make faces at me!
Whu... Uh... Eh...
No, sensei.
Hiding only delays the inevitable.
Hey...
Lucky rabbit.
(Chittering)
Shoo! Shoo!
(Chittering)
(Screeching)
I see no one.
Uncle: Prepare the chi spell, then socialize!
Now, do you have the lotus pod?
Check.
Jelly of jelly fish?
Check.
(Screeching)
Behold...
My mastery of gravity.
And for you, things look very grave.
Jackie, man the torpedo.
Full speed ahead!
Uhh!
Outta the park.
Uh-oh.
He's rolling down moon river.
This is very bad. We need uncle's chi spell.
Earth to Jackie. We're in space.
Where are we gonna get a chi spell?
A lotus pod?
Isn't that...?
The symbol of the immortal
who originally defeated tso LAN the moon demon.
- Tohru? - Tohru!
But... Where's uncle?
Uncle, yelling: Tohru!
Do you or do you not have nosehair of possum?!
Hmm...
Could use a facelift.
Tall, dark, and creepy's doing his moon-makeover thing.
Tohru, the chi spell.
Uncle: A spell can not work
if a demon is out of range of the immortal's symbol!
How can we move the immortal symbol into range fast?
Jade: Duh!
Bad day! Bad day! Bad day!
Jade, it's not safe.
So?
Eh, it's never safe.
I require assistance.
Awww, I thought that's why you brought cosmo.
Where on earth do I find a moon demon on the moon?
Oh!
Behind you.
Heh. Hello.
You dare interrupt me in my moment of triumph?
It's what I do.
Whuh!
Oh!
Oh...
Where's the lotus pod?
You put it in your suit.
Found it.
Tohru, the incantation!
Uncle: Aiyaaa! That is my job!
Uncle!
Hurry!
(Chanting)
(Uncle chanting)
An incantation?
(Chanting continues)
The lotus pod.
In order for it to hex me,
you must remove your helmet,
which you cannot do.
Oh! Grrr! Eh!
Then let me air this out.
(Inhales)
Aah!
Ah! (Breaths deeply)
Yesss!
(Cheering)
Right on!
So long, tso LAN.
My science product is gonna rock!
Hey, Jackie, if you weren't an actor,
what would you be?
I wanna be a pilot.
Oh, I just feel so cool.
Nothing cooler than pilot.
(Imitates plane flying)
Carrying the helmet, wearing the suit,
walking... But slow-motion.
The track behind you...
With... with the glasses.
Just by yourself, go to the place nobody knows, you know.
Oh, just, I wanna be a pilot.