Aah!
Please! Be gentle! That Mayan calendar wheel
is more than 1,000 years old!
Whoa!
Aah!
Stop!
Nice wheel! Here, wheel!
Please!
Excuse me, sorry!
That should buff right out!
(Gasping)
(Gasps) Whoa!
Aah!
(Grunts)
Captain black: Been looking everywhere for you, Jackie.
I have a high priority assignment
especially suited to your talents.
Baby-sitting?
Not baby-sitting, body guarding,
and this isn't just anybody.
You'll be guarding leli, the king of tangra.
Jade: A king?
Cool. Count me in!
Sorry, Jade. This is a diplomatic visit.
The king can't see anyone
who doesn't have level "a" clearance.
Besides, don't you have
a book report to work on?
Jackie, why bother reading about some president
from a gazillion years ago,
when I could be meeting a real, live king!
I'm sorry, Jade, but you heard captain black.
So the king can't see anyone who isn't cleared, huh?
It is most important to observe all formal customs
in the presence of his majesty.
Eh, I will do my best.
Nice digs.
Undercover security.
This king must be all that.
Jade: Whoa, the dude's barely that.
May I present leli, the king of tangra.
And shaktar, his royal tutor.
Tangra, where a kid can be a king.
Whoa!
Mr. chan, it is customary to perform the song of welcome.
Oh, yes, I would love to hear it.
It is you who is to sing, Mr. chan.
Me?!
Later. What I would truly like to do
is to explore the city.
And so you shall, my king,
but we are past due for a ceremony at city hall.
Your car awaits.
Looking out the window of a limousine
is not the sightseeing I had in mind.
A limo ride sounds good to me!
Whoa.
These suits and ties aren't security,
not with those. "have a rotten day" tattoos.
Leli: Look! The golden gate bridge!
Did you realize, shaktar, that it is so expansive,
that as soon as a crew finishes painting it,
they must start over again?
I was not aware of that, my king.
And there!
That is bayview stadium.
How I would love to witness a baseball game.
Fancy hotels, luxury cars...
Yeah, I could get used to this.
(Crowd applauds)
Mayor: And so, it is in the spirit
of friendship and cooperation
that I present you with this key to our fair city.
Thank you, San Francisco, thank you!
You are too kind.
You really know how to make a Princess feel welcome.
(Gasps) Stop!
Jackie: Uhh!
Oh, photographer. Heh, sorry.
Uh-oh. Jackie!
Jade?
Ooh! Ow!
King leli! Bad men!
Sorry, I'll give it back! Thank you!
Uhh!
Kidnapper: Oof!
That was amazing
the way you defeated those men single-handedly!
Hello, what am I? Invisible?
Oh, yeah.
And you have never seen those men before?
A trying day, your highness.
But now it is time for your meditation period.
Then we will turn to your studies.
I have not yet taken a ride on a cable car.
I want to sightsee.
I'm sorry, your majesty,
that is not possible.
Those bad men are still at large.
You must remain indoors and under close watch
for the rest of your stay.
Now, now, your highness. All is not blue.
I have the royal chefs working on a wonderful dinner.
Broccoli stew.
Broccoli souffle, my king.
Yuck!
Double yuck.
Meditation, studies, broccoli.
Why is there never any time for fun?
Uhh.
And why is this couch so lumpy?
I am not lumpy!
We will leave you to your meditation, your majesty.
(Sighs) Yes, yes.
As always, you will not be disturbed
until I return in 4 hours.
4 hours?!
I am so out of here.
Ohh!
Soon as the coast is clear,
I burn rubber.
Huh?
Announcer: And it's the bottom of the 8th. Prospectors are up by 3.
Oh, king, I like your style.
Announcer: Swing and a miss!
Munson's having a great day on the mound.
8 ks in the last 3 innings.
And the pitch...
Strike 2!
Full count, runners on first and second.
There's the pitch.
It's a sizzler down the left field line.
Aaron scoops it up and sends it to third.
And he's overthrown... Soy beans?
Thanks.
Both: Aah!
Who is there?!
Reveal yourself!
Wh-wh-who are you?
I'm, uh, part of your security team.
Jackie's partner. Name's Jade.
And you can become invisible?
Can all bodyguards do that?
Only if they have one of these babies.
Ahh, a talisman.
A magic talisman.
May I see?
How does it work?
You just squeeze it in your hand.
Uh, but I don't think...
Yep, heh, you learn fast.
Ok, now open your hand to become visible again.
Uh, king? Your majesty?
Leli?
I can't believe it.
Leli...
Pulled a Jade!
With this tea, we drink to the northern mountains
and the Southern seas.
(Floor creaks)
Oh, ok, king, I know you're here... Somewhere.
Heh, mosquito.
Got it.
Cable car!
You seen a kid about 8 years old, wearing...
(Sigh) He'd stay invisible.
May I buy one of your sodas, please?
I'm so thirsty.
Ok, hon, but they're warm.
Perfect!
Gotcha!
You are so busted!
Uhh! Ohh! Don't even think about it,
and don't say a word until we get to the next stop.
(Gasps)
The king is gone!
Game over, your highness.
I am sorry, Jade.
Let me explain.
No! Let me explain!
You may be Mr. big shot king,
all I gotta do is snap my fingers
and get whatever I want in your country,
but here, in the U.S. of a.,
what you did is called stealing.
I only meant to borrow it
so I could escape.
Well, even borrowing something
that isn't yours is wrong...
And I should know.
And what. Do you mean, escape?
You've got it made in the shade.
You have no idea what it's like being a king.
Everything is pomp and ceremony.
There's never any time for normal things.
No time for fun.
Oh, I guess that could get kind of boring.
I suppose you will be taking me back now.
King, you're about to go on the "j" line tour.
Oh, my king, what cruel fate has befallen you?
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Black: Jackie, we have a security problem.
Yes, I know.
You know the snake is missing?
What snake?
The snake talisman. You just said you knew.
Power of invisibility... Jade.
I'm losing you, Jackie.
Good news, captain black.
I don't think the king has been kidnapped.
Kidnapped?!
- What are you... - ohh, uh, I have to go!
I'll call you later! Bye-bye!
Is it about the boy?
I believe his majesty is safe and out exploring with my niece.
Oh, this is wonderful news.
Not for my niece. I will find them.
I will join you.
The boy has often spoken of places he wished to visit,
but first, I must inform the others.
Yes? Understood.
The boy is out in the open.
The next call will tell us where.
Then we make the grab.
Leli: Ha ha ha ha! Come look!
Look over here! Ha ha ha!
(Both laugh)
Whoa, yippee!
We ought to be getting back.
Please, there is one more place I must visit.
And there's the pitch!
It's gonna be close!
The runner slides!
He's safe!
Jackie: Yes, but you are in trouble.
Both: I can explain.
We have located the boy.
Bayview stadium.
The talisman.
Heh, found out about that, too, huh?
(Crash)
(Gasps)
Stay where you are if you want the boy to remain unharmed.
Uhh! Help!
Jackie: No, captain black,
no word yet from the kidnappers.
Yes, please send a chopper.
I want Jade and the, uh, our reptile friend
back at section 13, where they won't cause any more trouble.
(Beeping)
It's a ransom note.
Shaktar is to deliver the crown jewels of tangra
to a warehouse downtown, alone,
within one hour or we will never see the king again.
(Gasps) The crown jewels?
They are tangra's most valuable treasure!
How do you worry of mere baubles?
The boy is in danger!
I will come with you.
But they requested me, uh, alone.
We... Must do nothing to jeopardize leli's safe return.
Exactly.
These are bad men.
We cannot be sure they will honor their word.
Jackie, let me come, please?
Leli's my friend.
I know that, Jade,
but it is too dangerous.
Captain black is on his way.
He will be picking you up by helicopter.
But Jackie...
You will return the talisman to the vault,
do your homework, and go to bed.
(Scoffs)
Please, bring our king safely home.
I will not fail his majesty.
Shaktar's hooked up with the kidnappers!
I will see you in the morning, Jade.
Jackie, wait!
(Helicopter arrives)
Jade?
Time to head back to the old...
Jade?
I have brought what you asked.
Your highness! Are you all right?
Bring the crown jewels to us,
and then we let the boy go!
Whoa! Oof!
What sorcery is this?!
Nice try, shaktar, but your cover is blown.
Both: Jade!
And no ice for you boys
till leli is down here with me!
Oh, shh, Jade! No! The whole thing's a set up, Jackie!
What is going on here, shaktar?!
We told you to come alone!
Come alone? Hello? What's that tell ya?
Shaktar hands over the jewels, let's 'em keep leli,
then they fax in another ransom.
What nonsense does she speak?!
I don't know.
Jade, you have gone too far this time.
Jackie, shaktar's got a tattoo on the back of his neck,
just like the other bad guys.
Look for yourself.
I'm sorry, shaktar, but may I see
the back of your neck, please?
But I thought... Shaktar: You thought wrong.
A simple plan. Pawn the crown jewels,
use the funds to train an elite fighting team,
and then a palace takeover.
But why?
Why? Because serving a king is beneath me,
and I detest children.
Yeah? Well, you're gonna have to get past one
to get your mitts on the crown jewels!
Jade, no!
With pleasure.
Whoa!
Jade!
Aah!
Oh!
But how?
It is my mental kung fu.
I practice it while meditating.
Care to see more?
Now, that was good.
Guess now you're an army of one.
As long as I have the jewels.
Shaktar, no!
Perhaps we should use the invisibility talisman and assist.
Jackie doesn't need any help.
Besides, if he gets a serious workout,
he may forget all about grounding me.
Uhh...
Jackie chan, for heroism in the service
of the royal family,
I present you with the star of tangra.
Thank you, your highness.
Oh...
Please, do not bother.
I always thought it looked foolish.
I much prefer the high-five.
Whoa... unh!
Thank you for everything, Jade.
You gave me a day I will never forget.
Hey, even a king needs a little vacation.
Perhaps someday you will come visit?
We could play some ball.
You're on.
Hey, Jackie, is it hard to be a celebrity?
You get a lot of things, you lost a lot of things.
One day I sit down in a shopping mall coffee shop,
my friend said, "I saw somebody wanted your autograph."
As soon as I sign, 2 hours. I just keep signing, keep signing.
I really don't have a private life anymore.
The good things, really, I can get a lot of free gifts.
Somebody give me one shoes, I say, "can I have another hundred pair?"
Somebody give me exercise equipment...
"Can I have another couple sets?"
Then I select which high school,
which charity... I just give.
That's the best things becoming famous.