Are we there yet?
Patience, Jade.
We will not know where there is
until uncle's locator spell
leads us to the animal we seek.
The tiger who has inherited the talisman power
of yin and Yang.
Well, make it hurry,
'cause it reeks something fierce in here.
Are you sure the spell is accurate, uncle?
Nevada is not exactly known as tiger country.
Never mock the sock.
It's our only chance of finding the tiger
before the forces of darkness do.
Well, bet ya daolon wong doesn't have to
spend all day cooped up in a smelly car.
(Chants)
Pee-yew! Are we there yet?
So, big d, we really appreciate
you turning us into superpowered dark chi dudes
and all, but we gotta talk image.
I'm not digging the whole orange vibe,
and these outfits kinda scream boy band.
Nah, we look like kiss.
We look like circus freaks.
Hey! Can you not all see
that I am trying to concentrate?
I must find the tiger and acquire its power
before that accursed old man and his family intrude.
What?
Aah! Daolon wong!
Aah!
(Gurgles) Ow!
(Chants)
Whoa!
Get out there and stop them! But...
Now!
Jackie, look out!
Aah!
All: Aah!
Dudes, we have powers.
Oh, yeah.
Sweet!
(All laugh)
Do you think they are... All right? Ow!
Of course they are all right!
They are magic! Now drive! Quickly!
(Growls)
Uncle: Stop the car!
The tiger we seek is here!
Jackie: In las Vegas?
I think the world famous Sasha makes the cut.
But uncle, even if it is the right tiger,
what am I supposed to say?
"Hello, my name is Jackie.
Can I borrow your star attraction?"
Ow!
You figure it out!
Uncle must do research.
When daolon wong arrives,
we will need powerful spells to combat him.
Shoo! Shoo!
Come on, Jackie. We'll take care of the tiger,
and then take in Vegas.
Some shows, some all-you-can-eat buffets...
Jade, what part of daolon wong did you not understand?
Oh!
Sasha has the heart of a savage predator,
but we have tamed her wild nature
with years of training. Right, ulf?
Ya, Helmut!
Now Sasha is our Princess!
Room service?
Yes, please send up one vial of eel saliva,
3 jars of powdered duck feet,
and a pair of moose antlers.
What?
What kind of hotel does not have eel saliva?
Hey, uncle, I know you're busy,
so if you want me to go help Jackie,
just signal by yelling into the phone.
I do not want chicken fingers!
I require duck feet!
You got it!
So, you want to borrow our Sasha?
Uh, yes. Um, I'll pay you?
(Both laugh)
Ulf giggles at you!
And Helmut chortles!
Wait, you do not understand!
Your tiger is in danger!
Is that a threat, mister?
What? No, not danger from me!
From who, then?
Um, a dark chi wizard?
Please, let me explain...
(impersonating Elvis) Thank you very much.
Yo, red, how ya doin'?
Thank you, thank you very much.
Peanut butter sandwich.
Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much.
Get me a banana and peanut butter sandwich?
Uh, yes, thank you very much.
Now, where would I keep a...
Aah!
(Gasps)
Uh, nice tiger.
Whew! Tame tiger.
Hello, uh, Sasha.
Would you like to go for a walk?
Come with Jackie. Come on.
(Meows) Please?
If the yin Yang power means balance...
Good balance.
Good Sasha. Huh?
Bad Sasha!
(Gasps)
Jackie!
2 Sashas?
Just one! And her nice half is getting away!
♪ Oh, pretty tiger ♪
Sasha is excited, ya?
She loves to train with Helmut and ulf.
(Both scream)
(Meows)
(Helmut and ulf screaming)
Jackie.
(Both scream)
Huh?
Sasha is very moody today.
You have the keys, ya?
Bad day. Bad day. Bad day. Bad day.
Jackie, you rock!
You can pull 'em back together, right?
Uh-oh. Jackie's coming apart, too!
Jackie, are you ok?!
Oh, yeah.
Thank you for asking.
Aah!
What? What?
Aah! Aah!
Hey, I have a zit.
Get off of my body or I'll pop you!
Oof! I do not wish to argue,
but this is my body, too!
I didn't let the yin-Yang power finish separating you,
so one head's your dark side, and the other is...
Light! That's me!
There's only one sure way to put your heads back together.
Come on, we really have to find those tigers!
There goes one!
Uh-oh.
And I thought we looked freaky.
Forget them! The animal is near!
Come on!
Bring it on!
I'll whup ya with one hand.
Hey!
Hmm?
Yes.
What are you looking at?
I do not see the tiger!
Maybe we should split up.
So I got all the brains.
Tiger at 12 o'clock.
Aah! It's a tiger!
A tiger! Aah!
Uh, heads up, guys.
And now, to absorb your glorious power.
(Chants)
Hmm?
The extraction spell is not working!
Yo, dao-man, you online?
We eyeballed the cat!
Nonsense! The animal is here before me.
Who knew there were so many tigers in Vegas?
You sure about that, boss?
This one's white.
And it's mean.
Mean?
(Gasps) I possess only the yin of the beast.
Bring me the Yang immediately!
Gotcha!
Hello, kitty.
Muzzle!
(Growls)
We did it!
We are kings of the jungle!
Hand over the tomcat, chan,
or we'll wipe that smile off your faces.
Let's rock!
Wait! We cannot leave the tiger with-
Whoa!
Get the cat!
Sorry!
Oh, sorry!
Oh, did I hurt you?
All: Aah! Tiger! Aah! Tiger!
No, wrong way!
Whoa!
3 jokers, and jackies are wild.
Who's in?
Not me!
Hey, you kicked them with my leg!
Missed me!
Stop! Please!
Can we talk about this?
Come on!
Hold this.
Aah!
Heads, you lose!
Ow!
Double or nothing.
Oh, no.
Jackpot.
Twofer!
Hello, muzzle?
This is the all-you-can't-eat buffet.
(Groans)
We're on a winning streak. 2 tigers to none!
You have the other tiger?
Yo, d-man, beam us up.
Jackie! Jackie!
The bad guys have both Sashas!
If the anti-uncle drains their power,
you guys'll be stuck this way!
(Gasps) Forever?
Oh, boy.
(Telephone rings)
Room service? I have been waiting for...
Uncle, thank goodness you are...
Jackie! How can you leave uncle
at a shabby hotel with no eel saliva?
Pull your tongue out of your mouth and wring out the spit.
(Gasps) You call uncle an eel?!
Uncle, I'm sorry. No, I'm not!
Yes, I am. No, I'm not.
Jackie, why do you babble like a crazy person?
Both: Because I have 2 heads.
And daolon wong has 2 tigers.
We need your locator spell.
(Sighs) It's still not long enough, ulf.
Oh, we must find a way out, Helmut.
It is nearly showtime.
At last, I shall absorb the power of...
(sniffs) Hmm?
Wasn't me.
Hello!
Hurry, fathead!
Hey, our heads are the same size!
Off with his heads!
All: Whoa!
Well, that's the opposite of what we had in mind.
Ah! Free at last!
Attack!
(Growls)
Fighting is not nice.
You cannot defeat me, old man.
Who are you calling old, you bag of bones!?
Aah!
You have learned the yen huo fire magic?
Substituting eel saliva with mayonnaise.
No match for the genuine article!
Nice teamwork, partner.
Don't touch me.
Aah!
(Gasps)
Uh, hello.
(Audience oohs and aahs)
Thank you. Aah!
Wonder what this one does?
Whoa!
Aah!
Don't touch me.
No problem.
Ow!
(Audience cheers)
So, which one's Helmut and which one's ulf?
Your half-baked spells cannot defeat me!
I blame room service!
Uh-oh.
Come to me, talisman magic!
(Chanting)
Jackie!
Giddyap!
Abra-cadabra?
Eh?
No, I don't wanna go back!
Come on, we belong together!
(Audience cheers)
The one, the only!
Now we just have to convince
Helmut and ulf to let us...
Take the nasty tiger, please!
Ya! We will be auditioning for a juggling Bear.
Well, no bears in the Chinese zodiac, right?
Hey Jackie, do you play video games?
I really love all kinds of video.
Ok, I play Tetris.
People come to talk to me, I just keep playing.
One day I dream my head no fit into any hole.
I get up, I take my video game away.
It's bad.