Sir, security confirms worldwide airspace clearance for tonight's flight.
Transport reports donner and blitzen
are acting up, your jolliness.
Ho ho ho ho.
Oh, those rascals always get the jitters
before showtime.
And the toys?
Wrapped and ready to deliver.
(Hissing)
Unh! Aah!
Oh, my.
Code red.
If you've come for a gift,
well, I'm afraid you've just made the naughty list.
Your chi is the only "gift" I require.
Elvin: Secure Santa! Huh?
Ooh!
(Door closes and locks)
Elf magic!
Elves: Aah! Unh!
(Alarm ringing)
Second wave! Go! Go! Go!
I see I shall have to unwrap my present later.
Elves: Unh!
Oh, my.
And to all, a good night.
(Daolon laughs)
Thank you! Merry Christmas!
Bye-bye! Hee hee hee hee hee!
Are you sure uncle isn't running a fever?
Jade, uncle loves Christmas.
It is when sales are best. Ow!
Commercialism not important!
Christmas spirit is.
Ahh... Mother's recipe.
Yes. And we will be so happy to see her
for the holidays, tohru.
♪ We-ird ♪
We must leave some out for "you-know-who."
Who?
Oh! I mean, um...
I am sure Santa will be very hungry tonight.
Tch. Nice try, but I'm old enough
to know the lowdown on the kris kringle scam.
Jade! You do not believe in Santa claus?
Sure I do.
Just like I believe in the tooth fairy.
Right, Jackie?
Gotcha!
I told you the tooth fairy was sick
and I was filling in.
Tooth fairy does not exist!
Ha! See?
But Santa claus does.
I have research to prove it.
(Doorbell rings)
Mommy!
Mmm! Aah!
Captain black!
I am sorry.
That's all right, tohru.
I'm often mistaken for elderly Japanese women.
Good tidings to my favorite unofficial agents.
Please tell me you found ultramoose ii: À antler gear solid,
yellow version.
I've called on all of section 13's resources,
but the game is sold out everywhere.
Oh, Jade will be so disappointed.
(Doorbell rings)
Mommy!
Negatory.
(Gasps) How may I help you?
Name's elvin: Head of security, north pole.
Whoa. You guys are really going all out
to convince me, aren't you?
I need your help.
The big red one has been abducted.
(All gasping)
Haven't I seen you in homeroom?
If what you say is true, uh, elvin,
why come to us?
Not you. The magic man.
Pulled your credentials from the nice list.
Very impressive.
We have reason to believe you may know the perp.
Creative services handcrafted this likeness.
(Gasps) Daolon wong!
Oh, he's good.
But what would daolon wong want with Santa?
Uh, revenge for years of coal?
Jade: Duh. Wong's part-grinch.
He wants to ruin Christmas!
Not that Santa's for real.
He may not be real for long if we don't find him, ma'am.
Daolon wong wishes to possess
the extraordinary good chi belonging to Santa claus.
Tch! Like Santa's Chinese.
"Chi" is a universal life force
which goes by many names,
as do its 2 sides:
Yin and Yang, dark and light,
naughty and nice.
Yes, well, this wong character vanished
with the big cheese, house and all.
We can't get a bead on their whereabouts.
I'll put all. Of section 13's manpower
on this right away.
No! Magic must find magic.
I will cast a locator spell,
but I require an item belonging
to Santa claus.
All his gear is up at the pole,
including an empty sleigh
and toys that won't get delivered tonight
if we don't act quickly.
But what about mommy?
I'll wait here for her, tohru...
Provided "sensei" thinks I can handle it.
Tch. And how are we supposed to get
all the way to Santa's workshop
in time to save Christmas?
Whoa.
(Elves chattering loudly)
(Gasps)
Tell me it's the rescue team.
Check.
Thank goodness you're here.
Mrs. claus phoned from the Bahamas,
and we had to make like everything was ok
so she wouldn't worry.
Enough chitchat! Uncle needs ingredients!
Santa's workshop.
He is for real.
There's no margin for error, guys.
If we're gonna save Santa, we need more muscle.
Oh, she's having one of her moments.
We need... The j-team!
(Indistinct chatter)
So after the dot-com bust, uh-huh.
I moved my money into solid blue chip stock
uh-huh. Like pharmaceuticals.
Excuse me.
Jade?
How did you...
You brought an elf to a hanukkah party?
Viper, here's the skinny:
The team's on a rescue mission.
The stakes: Kris kringle himself.
Sounds festive.
I'll grab a costume change.
Are you guys in or are you out?
You can depend upon El toro fuerte.
And paco, too.
All right, team.
Let's just hope Santa's still packing his chi.
(Gasps)
Forces of darkness, spring forth...
And Pierce the veil of elf magic!
Oh, dear.
Mrrr!
Strange friend,
your desire for cheese
will not prevail against good.
Chi, not cheese!
There must be a weak spot.
Daolon: Hmm?
Of course.
Keep 'em moving, keep 'em moving.
Santa will return...
Won't he?
Uncle needs egg of sparrow!
Saliva of eel!
Foam of goat's milk!
(Groans)
Not foamy enough!
And bring snake tails!
From real snakes!
Uh, force of habit.
Do you want me to locate Santa claus?! Yes?!
Then where is personal item belonging to him?!
Will these do?
Hot cha!
If you elves have all this hocus-pocus,
why don't you guys deliver the gifts?
Tradition. We need reindeer, a sleigh, and a Santa.
All things considered,
maybe it's time to find a stand-in.
It takes a very big man
to fill. The big man's shoes.
How big we talkin'?
Oh, no.
Daolon: Whoa! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
(Chanting)
Oh, dear.
Lookin' slick for a trick St. Nick.
Oh... I have a bad feeling about this.
So do I. This is highly irregular.
So is Christmas morning
with no gifts under the trees.
(Reciting incantation)
Oh!
The himalayas!
We have underwear on the move.
That is where we will find Santa claus!
Grab some winterwear. We're moving out!
Jade, I know you want to come, but it is far too dangerous.
And miss the joyride of a lifetime?
We are Santa's helpers!
Ho ho ho!
No accent on 3.
It's just, "ho ho ho."
Jade: Come on, sumo claus.
Let's see what this baby's got under the hood.
Don't forget the nice list!
Uh... Giddyup.
Tch. On, dasher, on, dancer,
on, prancer, on, ViXen!
Tohru: Uuhh!
Whoa! Oh!
Tohru: On, donner, on, comet,
on, cupid, on, blitzen!
Mommy?!
Jackie: You could not get us any closer?
Elf magic won't pop the bubble.
A dark chi àforce field.
How do you suggest we shake up this snow globe?
Jade: First stop... 26 maple street.
Down the chimney you go!
Hit it, t!
But... I am not chimney-friendly.
Eh... wu... oh!
Mmm...
Cookies.
Child: Daddy! A fake Santa's eating Santa's cookies!
Come here, you!
Comet and cupid got your back.
(Chanting)
Please, please... Think of the children.
Ahh...
Your pleas are fruitless.
For my soul, dear kringle,
is as black as coal.
(Chanting evilly)
(Chanting)
(Chanting evilly)
(Singsong chanting)
Ooh... Ee...
Fa la la la la la la la la.
All: Whoa!
Chi... Be mine!
All: Aah! Huh?
Ooh... Ooh... Oh...
All: Santa claus!
(Grunt)
Rescue team, sir.
(Hisses) Haaaah!
Arrrgghh!
Juarez piledriver!
Oh, my.
Oh... Sorry.
Ho ho!
No more dark barrier.
How many deliveries have we made so far?
3. Only...
That many more to go.
(Groans) Ohh... I'm a very bad Santa.
Whoa!
Let's get you home, sir.
Uh!
(Gasps)
Elf... Or garden gnome?
Abominable snowmen.
Attack!
Santa: Oh, my.
(Chanting)
Jackie: Huh?
(Both chanting)
Mistletoe!
Aah!
Made you look!
Yeee-aaahh-ha!
Aah!
Watch as angels lose their...
(sleigh bells) Huh?
Jade: Deck his halls, boys!
Aah!
Jade: Snow angel! Cool!
Code red.
(Hisses) Haaah!
Transport, I need. A pickup on Santa's house...
Asap.
Your sleigh.
Should I need assistance in the future,
I hope your fine services will be available, old chum.
I... Would be honored.
Ha. Had to check.
Ho ho ho! Splendid!
Thank you, everyone!
Oh! Only 3 stops? Oh, dear.
We must boogie.
Hah!
Ho ho ho!
Ho ho ho ho!
I come to visit son at Christmas
and spend all my time talking to a stranger!
And talking... And talking...
Tohru was very busy substituting for Santa claus!
I know.
I am so proud of him!
One more thing.
Uh...
Oh! Billy goat!
(Gasps)
My first mask!
(Chuckles) Wear it proudly, paquito.
I shall never remove it!
Closer together, and...
(Jade gasps)
Mistletoe!
Pucker up.
Say chi... ooh!
Hey, it's for me!
Uh, Jade, with all of the excitement,
I'm very sorry...
I did not have time to complete the quest for your...
It's from Santa!
Ultramoose ii: À antler gear solid!
Yellow version.
How did he know?
Come on, Jackie. He's Santa claus.
(Everyone chattering)
Ok, everybody. Group hug!
All: Merry Christmas!
Hey, Jackie, what's your favorite food?
I eat everything.
I only tell people, try it before you don't like it.
You have to try the food.
"Ooh! What's that? It smells, stink!"
It's not polite.
Eat first. "Oh. That's not good for me. Ok."
For me, I eat everything. Yeah.