(Whoosh)
(Gasps) How did...
Halt!
Uhh!
Jade: Show me whatcha got, shendu!
Eat digital steel!
Tohru: No!
That's right, t.
Another slice of dragon toast for the Jade-ster!
Ohh! My flame-on button keeps jamming!
Uh... Boys and girls, I am trying to concentrate.
So are we!
We have to get to medieval evil, level 7!
Uncle: Forget level 7. We are going to the opera.
Tonight!
But uncle, my shang dynasty exhibit opens tomorrow.
I am swamped!
Whoa! Opera?
Since when does uncle go for fat ladies in viking helmets?
Not viking opera! Peking opera...
With very special performers.
Seven little fortunes?
(Gasps) But, uncle, that is...
The troupe with which I received my opera training.
Sensei?
You were in the opera?
When uncle was very young.
(Laughs)
Then how come I never hear you sing in the shower?
There's more to the Peking opera than song,
as you will see tonight.
Uncle, this must mean...
Yes. My old friend wing is now the director of this troupe...
And I have not seen him in nearly 60 years.
This is the story of Lao sheng, the farmer.
Lao sheng's beautiful daughter qing yi means the world to him.
(Atonal) ♪ oh, fair daughter ♪
♪ Our cow is sick and delivers sour milk ♪
Jade, pay attention like the rest of us!
(Snores)
(Snorts)
(Sheepishly) Heh! I am multi-tasking.
Now you are one-tasking!
Bwaaa!
That is 4,000 years old!
Excuse me!
Pardon me!
(Artifact rolls)
(Gasps) Wing!
(Rolling continues)
Um, meanwhile...
We arrive at the castle,
where the villain, also known as the "jing," lives.
Bwaaaa!
Whoa! Where'd Mr. creepers come from?
(Coyly) Uncle cannot reveal old stage secret.
Uncle: Villainous jing summons a powerful ghost,
and together they terrorize farmer Lao.
Butt whoop?!
Now you're talkin'!
Jackie: Excuse me.
Oh! Pardon me.
Yes. Very exciting.
Jackie! I'm trying to watch!
Ahh! Everyone's favorite!
The clown provides welcome comic relief.
Audience: Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
And cooler moves than Jackie!
So, you think uncle's old friend
calls him "uncle," too?
Chuckles, is that you?
Chuckles?! Chuckles?!
Beetlebrow!
So, you remember your nickname for me after 60 years?
Ha ha ha!
Who can forget those fuzzy caterpillars living over your eyes?
And your never-ending pranks
and gift of laughter.
Is he talking about the same guy?
So, you have come to see my "family" at work.
And to introduce my family to you.
My nephew Jackie...
Ah, yes! Butterfingers.
Uh, hello. I have heard so much about you.
I am sorry I have to run.
I am mounting an exhibit at the pacific Asia museum.
Uh... Bye-bye.
Please excuse his manners.
(Proudly) And this is my apprentice tohru.
(Video game pings)
(Clears throat)
This alarm tells me I must tend to the shop now.
A pleasure meeting you.
And last, but not least, my great-niece Jade.
Jade: Hey!
No trapdoors?
So, how do you do all that passing-through-walls stuff?
Yoo-hoo! Anybody home?
True artisans never reveal the secrets of their stagecraft.
All part of the "magic" of the theater.
Uncle told you so, Jade.
Youthful enthusiasm.
I remember a time when we were brimming with it.
We trained very hard in school...
Though you, chuckles,
trained hardest in the art of merry-making.
Ah! So much talent!
You might have become the grandest clown
in this or any other troupe...
But you chose to abandon the magic of the theater
for other kinds of magic...
Turning your back on years of study and brotherhood.
With great sorrow, brother wing,
but I discovered my true calling.
Jade: Hmm...
So that's what that's for! Heh!
It would seem your proteges
possess the same lack of respect for the theater as you!
Ohh! Perhaps this is my cue
to again take leave of the opera!
And this time, it shall be with great pleasure!
But, uncle, I never found out
how they do that secret melting-through-walls thing.
Pfft! A cheap trick called magic makeup!
What?!
(Yawns)
A typo? (Groans)
What?! That is impossible!
Aah!
Uh... Shouldn't you be at the opera?
Another one?
(Grunting)
Waah!
Uhh!
No! Those are priceless!
Don't they pay you at the opera?!
(Groans)
Huhh!
Whooo!
Stop!
Hey, Jackie, trying out for the opera?
Jade, what are you doing here?
Thought you should know, uncle's not himself.
He and wing-ding had a falling out.
Jackie: Aah! Which beats falling down.
Uhh!
Jade, stay back! They are thieves!
Don't they pay them at the opera?
All aboard the magic bus.
Jackie: Wait!
(Panting)
Uhh!
Let me in!
Buck fifty.
But they didn't pay!
Let's put a wrinkle in your hocus-pocus!
(Grunts)
Jade, how did you...
Jackie, hit the deck!
That's gonna leave a mark.
Uhh!
(Sighs) Talk about a hard act to follow.
Wing: Now, artisans,
once more from the top.
Ah! Have you returned to apologize for chuckles?
We have returned to accuse your artisans of a crime.
What?!
These two abused theater magic
in order to steal a small fortune
in ancient artifacts from the museum last night.
My performers know better than to use sacred magic
outside the theater!
Perhaps the artifacts are missing
because you dropped them somewhere... Butterfingers.
(Sputters)
Or perhaps we witnessed your ghost suffer a black eye!
Yeah!
Yes! Aha!
Uh...
Heh heh! Heh!
Well?
It did not go well.
Well, it's obvious
mega-brow is the ringleader of the gang.
No! Beetlebrow may be a stubborn,
self-righteous, intolerant mule...
But I know him to be honorable
and incorruptible.
He would never tolerate criminals
in his company! But, uncle,
we saw them!
Promise me you will leave matters to the police.
(Sighs) I promise.
Tch! That makes one of us.
Uncle, why do you insist on coming back
if wing upsets you?
Wing not important!
Uncle likes good opera,
that is all.
(Clears throat)
Jade has been in ladies' room long time.
Did she fall in?
The stolen loot has to be somewhere on the premises.
Ooh!
Magic makeup.
Cool!
Time to get the goods on the gruesome twosome.
(Footsteps)
(Doorknob rattling)
(Gasps)
Duh!
Aw, just that singing farmer.
Well, do you think the others suspect us?
Hmm... I am more concerned with chuckles' nephew.
Wing: Quickly, artisans. Curtain time nears!
Besides, any suspicions
will first lead to our fellow jings.
Just be prepared to grab our cash cow
in the event a quick getaway becomes necessary.
The walls have ears... And eyes.
Jade: Psst!
Down here.
Aah!
Found our crooks.
Jade, what is going...
The bad guys only play the villains off-stage.
On-stage, the bad guys play the good guys!
In English, Jade.
Those guys are the thieves.
(Stage performance musical fanfare playing)
Whoa! Talk about your dedicated actors.
Their "cash cow."
That's it!
What is it?
Where they hide the loot.
Come on! They're gonna try and bolt with it!
Jade, we can't just go out there.
If uncle sees us...
Uncle won't need to know it's us.
You have to be kidding.
(Atonal) ♪ oh, fair daughter ♪
♪ Our cow is sick and delivers sour milk ♪
What?! It is too early for the clown's entrance.
Uh...
♪ I will take the sick cow to a doctor ♪
I do not recall a second clown in this opera.
♪ The cow will feel better in the castle ♪
These are not the lyrics!
♪ The cow must see a doctor ♪
Both: ♪ the castle ♪
♪ A doctor ♪
Both: ♪ the castle ♪
Jade: ♪ a doctor ♪
♪ Duh ♪
♪ Don't you goons know anything ♪
♪ About proper cow care? ♪
Who is that?!
Ohh!
Ai-yaaa!
We do not fight a clown in this scene.
Apparently, I do.
I'm sorry. I will bring this back. Thank you!
Brother wing, I...
So, the prankster takes his revenge on my opera!
I hope you are happy.
Jade: Uhh!
Audience: Ha ha ha ha!
Your oafish proteges
have dishonored the sanctity of my stage!
(Gasps)
What is the meaning of...
It would seem the sanctity of your stage
has been previously dishonored.
And so, I take my exit.
Facial!
Uhh!
Clowning around has its moments,
but I think I will stick with my calling...
Archaeology.
I was blind.
It was your proteges who were the honorable ones.
We rock! Uh-huh!
I will always wish the opera had kept you, my friend.
And that is my cue to say good-bye.
One more thing.
I hope it will not be another 60 years
before we meet again, beetlebrow.
As do I, chuckles.
Hey, Jackie,
where did you live when you were little?
My father put me through the martial opera school.
One thing's difference... We have to stay there,
live there, eat there.
So many different teachers teach you how to dance,
kicking, punch, acrobatic, all kind of things.
School is very, very important.