Finn: What makes the Burmese raccoon such a cool pet?
Well, unlike ordinary raccoons,
it won't raid your trash can.
Ooh-ooh, you don't have to walk it or feed it.
And it's made of solid gold!
Score!
And we bagged it without any trouble from...
That guy.
Easy does it, Jackie!
Whoa-ohh! Eh!
Jade!
Why do you have to show up every time?
'Cause you'd miss me if I didn't.
Uhh!
Why does chan have to show up every time?
Hunh!
Oh, give us a break, chan.
We're not even working for any forces of darkness this week.
Yeah, we're on vacation.
Can't you let us have just one little priceless statue?
The Burmese raccoon belongs in a museum.
Well, ratso and chow here
are gonna put you àwhere you belong...
In a hospital.
Hyah! Unh!
Ohh! Ooh!
Ow!
Hunh! Oof!
Hey, Finn, I'll hold that for you.
Oh, thanks.
Hey! Give it!
Jade?
Just one question, kiddo.
Where you gonna go?
Heh heh.
Anywhere but down?
Give up the raccoon.
Hyah! Aiee-ya!
Unh! Uhh!
Hyah! Hyah!
Hunh!
Chow: Unh!
Whoa-oh-ohh!
Ow!
Thanks.
Grab on tight!
Are we just gonna let chan get away with our nest egg?
Grab on tight!
This is gonna leave a mark... Or 3.
Aaaah! Ohh!
All: Oof!
Ohh! Aaah! Aah!
All: Unh!
So much for our wealth.
At least we have our health.
Finn: Shut up, ratso-o-o-o-o!
(Finn, ratso, & chow crying out in pain)
The raccoon is in the museum where it belongs,
and I do not think we will be hearing from Finn, ratso, and chow
any time soon.
Finn: Chan!
Tch! Don't you three know when to quit?
All: We quit!
All: Huh?
We're tired of never making money.
We're tired of being enslaved
by dragons, wizards, and floating demon heads.
Most of all, we're tired of getting our butts kicked by you.
Yeah. It hurts.
All: We want to be good guys!
A trick! They want to rob uncle's shop!
No! We're telling the truth.
We weren't always bad guys.
Let me guess.
You sang in disco bands at weddings.
How'd you know?
I was employee of the month at sunglass shack,
3 times.
I studied theoretical physics.
Chow: We only went bad because we fell in with the wrong crowd.
Yeah, each other. Ooh!
Oh, come on, chan, please?
You gave big t a chance.
Well, uh, yes...
They have a point.
(All moaning)
If you are truly serious about being good,
you should go make your point to captain black.
I wish you luck.
Huh?
Aiee-yah!
Call police!
Thank you for shopping at uncle's rare finds.
Have a groovy day.
Bye-bye.
Come back soon.
(Gasps) Dark magic reversed cosmic yin and Yang
while we were getting lo mein.
Uh-duh-uh-uh,
everything is fine, sensei.
Yeah, Finn, ratso, and chow spoke to captain black,
just like you said, Jackie.
Captain black said that since I was able
to become such a model citizen,
there was hope for my old cohorts.
He put them on probation.
(Gasps) In my shop?
That's what I said, unc,
but check it out.
These radio-controlled ankle cuffs
lets section 13 know where they are at all times.
And if they try and run for it...
See? Instant chain gang.
Ahh!
These brownies are so good.
What's your secret?
Mm-mm-mm.
You can not have the recipe
until you prove yourself, ratso.
And you can start by doing the dishes.
You got it, t.
Excuse me?
Ooh! Yes, sensei.
(Video game fanfare)
High score!
Unh! Uhh!
I am not worthy.
Do not steal that!
(Exhales)
Whaaaaaaw!
Uhh, please, Finn,
I am on the phone.
Oop! Sorry, chan-meister.
Hey, but how's my form?
I'm sorry. Yes. I will leave...
As soon as I can.
What's the scoop, j.C.?
Big mission?
No mission. My real job.
The museum is sending me to Bhutan
to collect an artifact.
Jackie, you can not go
while criminals live in my shop!
Excuse me.
Ex-criminals.
Don't sweat it, unc.
Tohru can put the smack-down on his old pals
if they try anything.
And if they really get out of line...
Zappo!
Ohh! Yipe! Oof!
Oops! Sorry.
We'll hold the fort, chan.
Don't worry about us.
Yeah. Remember,
we're good guys now.
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Jackie, bad news.
The transmitters from the ankle cuffs
show our favorite parolees in the far east,
heading your way.
I knew they couldn't stay good for long.
But I never told them that the artifact I came here to collect
was a priceless gemstone.
I am Jackie chan from the museum.
With your permission,
I will bring the opal back to San Francisco.
Bad day.
So, the whole "good guys" thing was an act.
Unh! Nice move, Finn.
I see you have been practicing.
Unh! Ratso?
You have all been practicing.
Unh!
Chow?
Unh! Ohh!
Ok, who are you guys?
Jade: Just 3 clowns who are about to get smacked down...
By Jade's angels.
Fi... rat... ch... Jade?
Freeze! Back away from our bosley.
Uh, I mean, buddy.
Hunh! Hyah! Yee-aah!
Unh!
Aah! Uh-aah! Uhh!
What are you doing here?
And why did you bring them?
All part of their good-guy training.
They can sit around at home being good,
or they can go out and do good.
Or get smacked down real good.
Ok, so their technique needs work,
but I give 'em a solid "b" for effort.
Uhh! Run for it!
All: Unh!
Aah! Yah! Aah!
(All groaning)
Let's finish 'em off.
Now, Jade...
You know your uncle Jackie would not approve.
Ohh!
Jade's been a good influence on us,
and, uh, vice-versa.
Quickly, we must get this to safety.
Heh heh! I'm sorry.
I will have the museum send you a check for the broken building.
Thank you!
I'm telling you, Jackie,
they're totally reformed.
I haven't thought about chain-ganging 'em once.
Hmm, they did help out back there...
In their own way.
And at least they're not bothering uncle anymore.
Uncle: Tohru...
Do dishes!
Can ratso not do them when he returns?
I guess I owe you all an apology.
I thought those thieves were you,
here for the opal.
No harm, no foul, chan-meister.
Besides, opal shmopal.
Yeah, when we used to be bad guys,
we only went after...
Big stuff.
Did you see the size of that shmopal?
If it was ours, we'd be set for life.
But we're good guys now.
Right?
Ok, but we have to start being good guys again
after we steal the opal.
Sorry.
Unh! Uhh!
You guys are so grounded!
All right, I guess that's everything.
So, uh, thanks.
Heh, it may not seem like it...
But you did teach us one thing.
Oh, and what was that?
We're just not very good at being good guys.
I told you they couldn't be trusted.
Heh heh.
Wow! It all worked out for once.
All we had to do was be true to ourselves.
Ahh!
All part of the journey of life, my men.
Huh?
Yo, toss over the rock,
and maybe I won't toss your sorry selves
down the mountain.
Ha ha ha! No way are we handing our life savings
to someone who looks like a pizza boy!
Yo, yo, yo. This is one pizza boy
who's gonna serve you up an extra-large whoopin'
with 2 kinds of cheese.
Waa-hah!
Ohh! Unh!
Hoo-hyah!
(All groaning)
Huh?
Yo, strikemaster ice is in the hizzouse!
How'd you learn to fight so good?
I was just a pizza delivery guy...
Huh? I knew it!
And it all went down one night.
I delivered a medium ham-and-pineapple
to this weird old man.
And the fool stiffed me on the tip,
but he told me this wild legend about the zu monastery
floating above the clouds here in the far east.
The monks started teaching me their extreme,
top secret style of martial arts.
It was off the hook!
But then I got hip
to what the monks really wanted with me.
They wanted to teach me the ways of peace.
Well, I needed that bunk
like a pizza needs a soggy crust, yo.
They expelled me and dj fist and mc cobra
for bad behavior.
Now, we would've kicked their bald booties,
but we just weren't good enough to beat 'em yet.
Uh, well, you sure kick Booty now, ice baby.
Yeah, go whoop those monks.
You don't wanna scratch that beautiful opal
while you're exacting your revenge, do ya?
Yeah, so why don't you just leave it here?
We'll watch it for you.
Yeah, for reals.
Let me demonstrate how this little hunk of ice
is gonna let strikemaster ice
go back to the monastery and bring down the house!
Finn: No, no, no! Don't... don't do it!
Save it for the monks!
Mommy!
(Explosion) All: Aaaah!
I was going to ask you to be my henchmen,
but if you work for strikemaster ice,
you gots to have thicker crust.
Ohh! (Sobbing)
Easy does it.
The signal from the ankle transceivers
suggests our former reformers
haven't moved in an hour.
It could be an ambush.
Hiya!
If you let us down...
We'll help you find the shmopal.
You know, I don't see how we can help out
if we're all chained up like this, partners.
You are not our partners.
You are our prisoners.
Wow! Just like the pimply kid said.
"Floatin' above the clouds, yo, yo, yo."
Oh, uh, wait up!
(Explosion)
Yeah, see how you like preachin' peace
with your temple in pieces.
Lock 'em up, boys.
Whoa! Strikemaster ice is a twerp.
I can take him.
Jade.
Unh!
Say, chan never said
you couldn't get the drop on the other 2.
Yeah!
Good one, Finn.
Run for it!
Unh! Uhh! Hunh!
You have done enough damage...
Wouldn't you say?
So you wanna throw down?
The greatest victory is the battle not fought.
I'll reflect on the meaning of that
while I wail on you.
Jade: Hey!
Who cut your hair, the gardener?
(Razzberry)
Unh! Uhh!
Warning:
Objects in mist are closer than they appear.
You know, your crane stance could use some work.
No! No! Aah!
Sweet.
Let's make like a nose and run.
Strikemaster ice: That's it, you're history!
Wait.
We can't let chan go out like this.
Yeah. After all the times we tried to knock him off...
Letting someone else do the job
just doesn't seem right.
Let's rescue the chan-man.
Uh, never mind.
Let go, yo!
You want it?
It is yours.
Unh!
Hey, thanks, partner!
Guys, you don't want to go that way!
Nice try, kiddo!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Are they...?
I think so.
I think I may actually miss them.
I know what you mean.
Weird, huh?
Poor guys.
(Sighs) You know,
we're not very good at being bad guys, either.
Hey Jackie, do you believe in giving people second chances?
Yes, yes.
I always give people a second chance.
Like my stunt men, some of my assistants...
They do something wrong,
I give them another chance.
They do something wrong again,
I give them third chance, not just a second chance.
I always give them second chance.
More than second.