Jackie chan: Uncle, how does this,
um, device locate the scattered demon chi?
Uncle chan: Ancient Chinese compass detects energy imbalance.
When demon chi is activated, compass picks up frequency,
leading us directly to the immortal object.
Tohru: A reversal spell
will then draw the bad chi out
of the immortal object and into the containment jar.
Uncle: Uncle getting to that!
A reversal spell will then draw bad chi out
of the immortal object and into the containment jar.
Jade chan: So, it's your basic demon chi-o-matic.
Shipping and handling not included.
TV host: On the next international island challenge,
2 more families will meet on the polynesian island of boru
to face off in a grueling test
of mental and physical endurance.
Which family is tough enough to be called the best
and take home a prize package including 2 all-terrain vehicles
and a flat-screen TV with DVD and surround sound?
Jade: No way.
Host: Which family will avoid elimination
by earning this amnesty idol?
Jade: Well, that's a first.
A demon chi with it's own series.
Uncle: Aiyaa! Bai tza.
Water demon chi has been activated.
Jade: And that's her... Zucchini?
Tohru: It's a gourd... The immortal relic
used to defeat her thousands of years ago.
Jackie: And now it's on national television.
We must get to that island before drago.
Jade: Boru, here we come.
I am so gonna kick butt in that game.
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
Jackie: We're not going to boru to compete, Jade.
You will stay here with tohru.
Jade: Oh, come on, uncle Jackie!
I've seen every single episode of international à island challenge.
You gotta take me!
Jackie: Jade...
Jade: I know, I know.
I always have to play the home version.
Drago: Ah, henchmen, waste of time.
Excess baggage killing my mojo.
Solo is the way to go.
Bai tza.
Ratso! Finn! Chow!
Never mind.
Right. Canned 'em.
Jackie: Keep your eye out for the gourd...
And try to blend in.
Uncle: Uncle doesn't blend.
Jade: Hey, Jackie.
Jackie: (Gasps) Jade!
What are you doing here?
Jade: Get serious.
Tohru: Uh, sorry, Jackie.
Jackie: Jade, listen to me.
I told you before we are not here to play games.
Rickie rothman: Of course you're not, chung family.
You're here to win!
Johnny chung, right? Rickie rothman, producer.
Nice to meet ya. Love to chat more,
but you guys were supposed to be here 2 hours ago.
We're running very late so let's get you on the set.
'K?
Jackie: But we're not...
Jade: Worthy of this great honor.
Rothman: Humble. Nice touch.
Come on, people. Let's move it.
Places!
Jackie: You're making a mistake.
We aren't the players you want.
Production assistant: Humble. Nice touch.
Uncle: Aiyaa! That belongs to uncle.
Production assistant: No luxury items.
Uncle: Give that back to...
Production assistant: And 3... 2... 1...
Host: Welcome to international à island challenge.
Let's meet our 2 teams.
From Hamburg, Germany, the dusseldorfs.
And from Peking, China, it's the chungs.
Uncle: Uncle wants his demon chi detector back right now.
Host: But if one of these families
wants to take home our fabulous prize package
and the title international island champ,
they're going to need this... the all important amnesty idol.
Win this, and your entire team lives to see another day.
Lose, and you'll be forced to vote off a member of your own family.
So, if you're all ready, let's get things started
with a little fruit punch.
Tohru: Oh, good. I am kind of thirsty.
Host: Remember, to win this game,
each family member must make it across the balance beam
without falling into the slime pit.
Chung family, you're up.
Jackie: We need to secure the relic.
We don't have time for this.
Jade: They'll hand it to us when we win.
Now, watch out for the mangos.
Jackie: Yaa!
Aah!
Whoa. Whoa!
Greta Dusseldorf: Aim for the big one.
Heinrich Dusseldorf: Ja!
Jade: Come on, tohru.
You're almost there, baby. You can do it!
Heinrich: Game over, mountain man.
Jade: Tohru!
(Tohru grunts)
Aah!
Uncle: Ooh. That's gonna leave a mark.
Host: And the dusseldorfs win amnesty!
Kids: Whoo hoo!
Host: Chungs, I'll see you tonight at the ejection ceremony
where one of your family members
will be voted off the show.
Tohru: Sorry, sensei.
Jade: Tohru, listen.
You get my back, I'll get yours.
Tohru: What are you talking about?
Jade: Power, my friend. If we stick together,
we can protect ourselves at the ejection ceremony.
Jackie: Jade. Jade: What?
We were just talkin'.
Uncle: Jackie! Bad chi attracts bad chi!
Drago will be on his way soon.
Jackie: That's why we have to grab that idol,
find uncle's demon chi detector
and get off this island right away!
Jade: Relax. They're not home.
Jackie: Unh!
Jade, go back to the tree house.
Jade: Jackie, 3 words: Flat. Screen. Television.
Jackie: How many times do I have to tell you?
We must stay focused on our mission,
not the game.
Jade: Come on. With my brains and your brawn,
we can kick Dusseldorf butt,
score all those prizes, and get the gourd.
Jackie: Shh. Just be quiet,
and give me a signal if you see anyone coming.
Jade: Great. I love being the lookout.
(Snake hisses)
Jade: Jackie!
Jackie: Aah!
Jade: don't move around so much.
You're just making it angry.
(Jungle brush rustling)
Jade: Hey... Dusseldorf family! Ha.
Small island, huh? What's the 4-1-1?
Dusseldorf dad: I don't understand.
Jade: Tell me about it.
(Snake hisses)
Jade: Listen. Uh, I think you should know that
I just saw this humongo wild boar in your supply crates,
and I think it stole your, uh, schnitzel!
Dad: Schnitzel?!
Jade: Yeah. It just ran off into the bushes!
Dad: Save the schnitzel!
Jade: Jackie, they're gone.
Jackie: That's a relief. Unh.
Jade: Whoa. Double trouble.
They're back.
Jackie: Unh. Maybe we are going about this the wrong way.
Why don't we just talk to them and ask for the idol?
I'm sure they are reasonable people.
Hello, Dusseldorf family.
I need to have a word with you.
Now I know this is going to be hard to believe.
But the amnesty idol you have
contains traces of ancient water demon chi
that must be contained to protect the earth
from the forces of darkness.
So if you will please give me the idol,
my uncle will cast a spell to remove the chi,
and all will be well. Heh heh.
Jade: Nice try, champ.
Host: As you know, chungs,
this is the ejection ceremony
meaning one of you will be going home tonight.
The process is simple.
The person with the most votes
must leave the island immediately.
Let's begin.
Jade: It's nothing personal, dude.
Uncle: Uncle has been bamboozled!
Jade, we had a deal!
Uncle: Uncle not ready to leave!
Production assistant: Sorry, show policy.
Uncle: What about personal property?
Production assistant: We ship it.
You should get it in about a week.
Ha ha. Or 6.
Uncle: Aieeya!
No helicopter!
Man-made bird cannot be trusted!
(Gasps)
Production assistant: There is nothing to worry about, sir.
It's perfectly safe.
Uncle: No. Uncle not meant to fly.
Do you see wings on uncle?
Production assistant: Ok, ok, please calm down, sir.
Tell you what.
There's a supply boat coming in the morning.
You can spend the night here
and take the boat back to the mainland.
Does that sound better?
Production assistant: So I'll come get you in the morning, ok?
Uncle: Bring bagels.
(Doorknob rattles)
(Uncle snores)
Cruise director: The ship will be arriving in port in 10 minutes.
We hope you all enjoy your polynesian adventure on boru this afternoon.
But hurry back because mambo madness begins at 4:00 sharp.
Drago: Ah.
(Hisses)
Drago: This time, the chi's all mine.
Host: Ok, everybody. New day, new opportunity for amnesty.
So who's. Up for a quick bite?
Because each family member
must eat everything on their plate.
But if you lose your breakfast,
your family loses the competition.
So open wide, and down the hatch.
Jackie: We must win this event and get that idol.
Jade: don't talk to me. Talk to coconut.
Heinrich: Ah! Unh! Unh! (Vomits)
(Tohru laughs)
(Jade gulps) Flat screen TV, here I come.
Jade: Mmph! (Vomits)
Uncle: Aieeya!
No boat! Uncle gets seasick at aquarium!
Production assistant: Nothing to worry about.
Just keep your eyes on the horizon
and you'll be fine.
Uncle: Uncle needs his personal property.
Production assistant: Underneath your seat.
Hit it, frank!
(Frank guns engine)
Host: Because neither team could keep their breakfast down,
you'll have to compete in a tiebreaker round...
The ultimate tropical test
of physical strength and endurance.
Jade: Bring it on. (Heinrich laughs)
Host: On your mark...
Get set...
Go!
Tohru: Boaah!
(Heinrich laughs)
Jackie: Aah!
Unh! Unh! Aah!
Host: Ah.
(Heinrich and mom Dusseldorf grunt)
Jade: Yes.
Heinrich: Unh!
Dad: Eeeaah! Aah!
Heinrich: Oof!
Jade: Whoo hoo!
Jade: I win! I win! I win! I win! I...
(drago laughs)
That's where you're wrong, shortstop.
I win.
(Drago laughs)
Jackie: Aah! Hot sand! Hot sand! Hot sand!
Jackie: This is not good.
Dad: Who is that?
What is going on here?
Host: Uh, this isn't in my script.
Drago: Water, water, everywhere,
and more than an ocean to drink.
Jackie: We need uncle!
Tohru, take Jade and find him.
I'll keep drago busy.
Jackie: Nice trick, drago.
But if you ask me,
your act is still all wet.
Drago: Nobody likes a critic, chan.
Jade: Jackie!
Tohru: Sensei àis not on the island!
Uncle: You hoo! Water boy!
Tohru: Sensei!
(Uncle yells the reversal spell in Chinese)
(Uncle coughs)
(Captain grumbles)
Jackie: Uh, those were amazing special effects.
Rothman: Special effects?
Jade: Uh, yeah.
I don't know how you guys do it
week in and week out.
Rothman: Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was
quite a piece of television magic,
if I do say so myself.
Host: Well, nobody told me about the Tsunami.
Rothman: You're the host, pretty boy.
You're not in the loop on everything.
Jade: Flat screen TV, here I come.
Rothman: Chungs, you're disqualified.
Jade: What?
Rothman: Your rejected family member
returned to the competition.
Dusseldorfs, you win!
(Dusseldorfs cheer)
Jade: What? Did you wanna gloat or something?
Heinrich: May I write you?
Jade: I'm in the book.
Jackie: Jade, do not be upset.
We captured the demon chi.
Jade: Uh, can I watch cartoons on it?
I don't think so.
Tohru: Sensei, àwhy did you not
remove drago's fire power, too?
Uncle: Fire attached like strong glue to drago's spirit.
It will take much bigger magic to remove.
Jade: Speaking of scale-face, where did he go?
(Buoy dings, seagull cries)
Jade: Hey Jackie, what was your favourite thing about being a kid?
Jackie: Being a kid. Sometime, when I look at a kid,
I really say, "what are they thinking?"
They are not worried about pay the bills,
the car bill, the house mortgage.
Sometimes, I really want to...
Yes. I want to go back. Boom! Become a small baby.
I don't want to worry tomorrow
what kind of stunt I'm gonna do,
what kind of action sequence.
I have to choreograph all action sequence.
That sometimes really makes me worry.
That's what's good about children, yeah.