1 00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:06,536 [Theme music] 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:14,074 Who are the real-world Illuminati ? Find out @ saveanilluminati.com 3 00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:34,032 [Grunting] 4 00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:38,601 Just two more, come on. 5 00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:40,399 ANNOUNCER: Okay, five more. 6 00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:42,600 Okay, five more! 7 00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:45,103 Hey, you said two! 8 00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:48,705 You can't predict this tape. I've done it enough to know. 9 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:52,545 My Game Boy's out of batteries. I need to get on the Nintendo, quick! 10 00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:55,985 Just a minute, Bobby. Get ready to turn. 11 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,081 And turn! 12 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:01,585 Way to go, Bobby. 13 00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:04,786 Hi, Uncle Hank. 14 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,721 Shut that off! 15 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:10,134 Bobby, stop dancing. Now! 16 00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:11,864 He's not just dancing. 17 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:14,463 He's firming his thighs and tightening his buttocks. 18 00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,202 Watch your mouth! 19 00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:20,340 [Hank yelling] 20 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,539 HANK: Luanne! 21 00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:24,742 Damn it. Look at this place. 22 00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:26,541 LUANNE: What is it, Uncle Hank? 23 00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:29,679 The sofa bed's in the "out" position. 24 00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:33,686 HANK: I can't find nothing in here anymore. LUANNE: What are you looking for? 25 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:37,019 HANK: I didn't used to have to be looking for something. 26 00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:39,461 I'd come into my den and just look. 27 00:01:39,532 --> 00:01:43,161 Look at my different stuff and get ideas about what I want. 28 00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:46,535 Don't worry, Uncle Hank. I'll be out of your hair soon. 29 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,302 I think Buckley's going to ask me to move in. 30 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:50,865 Isn't it neat? 31 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,243 I'll be going from Daddy to you to Buckley. 32 00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:57,142 Yeah, it's an amazing journey, Luanne. 33 00:01:57,350 --> 00:02:00,285 What about this? Maybe you want this record? 34 00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:04,015 - No, it doesn't work like that. - How about this tackle box? 35 00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,615 Luanne, what did I just... 36 00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:09,218 Well, that might need reorganizing. 37 00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:13,126 [Motorcycle approaching] 38 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,191 HANK: Get a muffler! 39 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,459 [AII shouting] 40 00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:19,471 BILL: What do you think you're doing? 41 00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:22,940 Why do you let Luanne go out with that hairball? 42 00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:25,842 It's none of my business. She's not my daughter. 43 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:30,143 Anyway, Buckley may be dumb as dirt, but he's her ticket out of my house. 44 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,419 [Tires screeching] 45 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,524 Keep going! 46 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:43,321 They should be out of my sight by now. 47 00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:45,386 [Shouting] 48 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:46,921 [Sobbing] 49 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:53,038 LUANNE: He... I... We... Oh... 50 00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:57,107 [Muttering] Man, them dang old birds, man, flying low this season. 51 00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:00,475 They's probably dang old awkward, man, tell you what. 52 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,541 [Sobbing] 53 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,084 What the hell was that? 54 00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:07,915 That was a breakup. 55 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:12,252 At least, that's what it was the last time I ran into the house crying. 56 00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,586 [Sobbing hysterically] 57 00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:26,866 [Laughing nervously] 58 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,898 A lot of tears. 59 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,641 Guess what was on sale? 60 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:34,077 Oh, my Lord! You've been dumped! 61 00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:37,373 There, there. All right. 62 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,884 You tell Aunt Peggy all about it. 63 00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:42,549 [Sobbing] 64 00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:45,989 [Sobbing] 65 00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:53,390 [Saw running] 66 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,271 Fishsticks? 67 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,879 HANK: I was almost killed at work today... 68 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:10,711 Okay, Hank, please! Try and be sensitive. 69 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:13,111 [Sobbing] 70 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:16,915 Okay, honey. Go ahead. You let it out. It is natural. 71 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,117 This is the healing process. 72 00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:20,157 [Luanne snorting] 73 00:04:20,226 --> 00:04:21,454 [Luanne sobbing] 74 00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:23,156 [Sighing] 75 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,627 - Peggy. - I had a talk with her today. 76 00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:30,726 We are past the first hump. So, that leaves only seven more humps. 77 00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:33,101 Peggy, I need you to fix her now. 78 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:37,006 Without my quiet time, I am not an effective propane salesman. 79 00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:38,737 You can't rush it, Hank. 80 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:41,609 The formula is, for however long she was dating him... 81 00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,876 that's how long it takes to get over him. 82 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,510 You mean, we got three more weeks of this? 83 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,747 If you don't fix her, I'll have to. 84 00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:51,949 Honey, I don't think you have the tools for that job. 85 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:55,517 - What's that supposed to mean? - Remember when my aunt died... 86 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:58,723 and you kept grabbing my waist and saying, "Let's wrestle"? 87 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,356 Yeah. You told me it helped you. 88 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,628 I did? Well, yes, it did. 89 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,193 - See? - Lf you really want to help... 90 00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:08,001 sometime tomorrow, tell Luanne she looks pretty. 91 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:12,272 - What's that got to do with anything? - She just needs to hear it from a man. 92 00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:15,007 Three words, "You look pretty." 93 00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,173 And nothing more. 94 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,747 MAN ON TV: So, what you thinking about, Stu? 95 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,049 STU: I'm thinking about flipping that steak. 96 00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:23,179 All righty! 97 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:25,224 No! Flip that other one! 98 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:26,349 ANNOUNCER: Don't go away. 99 00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:29,224 We'll be right back with more of Make a Steak. 100 00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:32,230 MALE SINGER: At Mega Lo Mart 101 00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:36,132 you're shopping for the rest of your life 102 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:39,165 How you doing out there? I'm Chuck Mangione. 103 00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:42,230 You know, even celebrities have to hunt for bargains. 104 00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:46,904 That's why I go to the Mega Lo Mart, where shopping feels so good! 105 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:51,443 This week, 12 five-pound bags of gourmet chocolates for $10. 106 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,986 That's Buckley's section. 107 00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:56,216 [Sobbing] 108 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,431 You look pretty. 109 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,007 I was dumped! 110 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,902 PEGGY [Flashback]: Three words, nothing more. 111 00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:21,469 "You look pretty." Nothing more. 112 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:24,442 Why aren't you saying anything? 113 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,378 [Stammers] 114 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,949 I never liked that Buckley. You should be happy. 115 00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:33,287 That guy was an annoying, greasy-headed loser. 116 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,490 I was dumped by a loser. 117 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,386 [Sobbing] 118 00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:40,821 Jeez. 119 00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:44,864 Luanne, sometimes, life throws you a curve ball. 120 00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:47,471 There's two ways you can deal with it. 121 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:51,340 You can cry, and that's the path you've chosen... 122 00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,403 or you can not cry. 123 00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:56,838 How do you not cry? 124 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,584 Well, instead of letting it out... 125 00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:01,647 try holding it in. 126 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,114 Every time you have a feeling... 127 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:08,650 just stick it into a little pit inside your stomach and never let it out. 128 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,833 Are you supposed to have a pain under your rib? 129 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,960 Yes. That's natural. 130 00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:20,229 The body doesn't want to swallow its emotions. 131 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:24,533 But now you go ahead and put that pain inside your stomach, too. 132 00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:27,078 I think it's working, Uncle Hank. 133 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,109 I feel sick, but not sad. 134 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,980 There you go. Look at my friend, Bill. 135 00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:36,044 He went through the worst divorce this county's ever seen. 136 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,780 But you never see him crying. 137 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:38,256 But you never see him crying. 138 00:07:39,491 --> 00:07:41,049 [Bill sobbing] 139 00:07:46,398 --> 00:07:50,391 - I'm scared I'll never find another guy. - Don't worry about that. 140 00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:51,561 Peggy told me. 141 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:54,401 If you dated your old boyfriend for three weeks... 142 00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:57,203 you'll get a new one in three weeks, tops. 143 00:07:57,342 --> 00:07:59,936 LUANNE: Another thing I hate about Buckley... 144 00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:03,573 he takes me to all-you-can-eat and says I have to sneak off his plate... 145 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,048 so I just get iced tea. 146 00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:07,517 Then he's too scared of getting caught to share. 147 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,888 I hate guys like that. 148 00:08:09,955 --> 00:08:13,254 Why do boys with braces always want to French kiss? 149 00:08:14,092 --> 00:08:15,252 [Stammers] 150 00:08:16,862 --> 00:08:19,763 Pass me some more of that cookie dough. 151 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,189 [Moans] 152 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:27,099 I never knew you could eat it raw. It's almost as good as ice cream. 153 00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:30,107 They make ice cream with cookie dough already in it. 154 00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:32,404 Damn, sister. Get me my keys! 155 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,877 [Laughing] 156 00:08:36,748 --> 00:08:38,443 PEGGY: Luanne, where've you been? 157 00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:42,510 - We were supposed to be crying all night. - I spent the whole day with Uncle Hank. 158 00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:45,682 Luanne, why don't you go get the fold-out ready? 159 00:08:45,757 --> 00:08:48,692 Okay. Good night, Uncle Hank and Aunt Peggy. 160 00:08:48,827 --> 00:08:53,059 - Good night. Hank, what did you do? - I did what you couldn't do. 161 00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:56,130 I'm not saying you're not good at what you do. 162 00:08:56,201 --> 00:08:57,759 I'm just saying I'm better. 163 00:08:57,836 --> 00:09:01,033 I went in there and fixed her, like fixing a carburetor. 164 00:09:01,106 --> 00:09:04,667 And you know what? It was fun. Like fixing a carburetor. 165 00:09:04,776 --> 00:09:07,176 But, Hank, I told you not to meddle. 166 00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:10,010 This is a natural process, and you cannot manipulate... 167 00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:11,947 You know, you look pretty. 168 00:09:12,017 --> 00:09:13,211 Really? 169 00:09:13,585 --> 00:09:14,574 Oh, Hank. 170 00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,411 Well, that's sweet. 171 00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:20,185 - But I mean it. You have got to stop... - You look pretty, Peg. 172 00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:21,783 Oh, thank you. 173 00:09:24,496 --> 00:09:27,192 [Country music playing in bar] 174 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:36,640 HANK: You ladies go on ahead. We've got to help Bill close his jeans. 175 00:09:37,509 --> 00:09:39,238 All right, let's go. 176 00:09:39,344 --> 00:09:42,836 All right, we have to find a nice boyfriend for Luanne. 177 00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:46,576 That seems like a pile of work just to get your den back. 178 00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:51,021 Well, it's not about my den. It's about that poor girl living in my den. 179 00:09:51,156 --> 00:09:52,919 So, what's her type? 180 00:09:53,525 --> 00:09:55,584 [Instrumental rock music] 181 00:09:59,998 --> 00:10:03,866 Never mind about her type. Just find a regular guy. 182 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:08,339 It's a scientific fact that women like round, muscular butts. 183 00:10:08,407 --> 00:10:11,934 I'm going to look for a guy with a round, muscular butt. 184 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,977 Maybe we should split up. 185 00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:19,074 One more thing. Peggy doesn't know about this. 186 00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:22,245 - Well, you want me to tell her? - No, Bill. 187 00:10:22,554 --> 00:10:24,852 Just dance with her. Keep her busy. 188 00:10:24,923 --> 00:10:27,221 What? Me? Dancing? 189 00:10:27,292 --> 00:10:29,783 I don't want... I don't know... 190 00:10:30,128 --> 00:10:33,120 My arms around a warm... Okay. 191 00:10:33,465 --> 00:10:35,626 [Country music playing] 192 00:10:42,607 --> 00:10:43,733 Hmm. 193 00:10:44,309 --> 00:10:45,333 No. 194 00:10:47,446 --> 00:10:48,674 Hmm. 195 00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:51,312 Possible. 196 00:10:51,383 --> 00:10:54,910 Dale, I bought you a beer. Mind if I dance with your wife? 197 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,215 Take her. 198 00:10:58,457 --> 00:10:59,651 Sucker. 199 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:02,353 [Muttering] No, man. You don't have to worry about that. 200 00:11:02,427 --> 00:11:05,692 You go out with Luanne, she'll go dutch. There'll be no other way. 201 00:11:05,764 --> 00:11:09,029 Well, you smell nice. Dance with me, sugar? 202 00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:13,234 I tell you what, it's that dang old CK One, man, just like catnip. 203 00:11:16,274 --> 00:11:17,298 Hey... 204 00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:19,503 You seem like a regular guy. 205 00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:27,750 - Hey, what's Hank doing over there? - I don't see him. 206 00:11:28,453 --> 00:11:31,445 Bill, why are you spinning me into Souvenir Gulch? 207 00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:34,185 It's been awhile. I can't remember all the steps. 208 00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:36,659 Just do what I say, and we'll get along fine. 209 00:11:36,728 --> 00:11:40,926 On three, brush right, then fan left, and scoop and scrape the sky. 210 00:11:47,172 --> 00:11:49,640 - What's your name, son? - Wade, sir. 211 00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:52,575 - That's some buckle you got there. - Thank you, sir. 212 00:11:52,644 --> 00:11:55,977 Means a lot coming from a man like you, who, I can plainly see... 213 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,879 knows a thing or two about buckles. 214 00:11:57,949 --> 00:11:59,177 [Hank stammering] 215 00:11:59,251 --> 00:12:01,276 Well, this round's on me. 216 00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:05,449 And grapevine left, pitch right, fan, fan, double-dog-down. 217 00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:09,119 Get your kick. Now slap that heel. Heel, toe, heel, toe... 218 00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:12,230 - Quarterback, huh? - Varsity. 219 00:12:12,297 --> 00:12:14,492 - Love your mama? - You know I do. 220 00:12:14,566 --> 00:12:17,330 - She cook with a gas range? - Propane. 221 00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:22,707 - I don't know if I'm ready, Uncle Hank. - Sure you are. 222 00:12:22,774 --> 00:12:26,767 And Wade's a catch and a half. He can run the 40 in under 5 seconds. 223 00:12:26,845 --> 00:12:30,110 - But my heart is telling me... - Your heart is telling you? 224 00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:32,412 Who's the boss? You or your heart? 225 00:12:32,484 --> 00:12:35,453 You are. Your heart is your employee. 226 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,580 So get your heart off its butt and back to work. 227 00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:41,751 You're right, Uncle Hank. What am I waiting for? 228 00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:43,721 Let's go get Wade! 229 00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:46,887 [Music stops] 230 00:12:46,998 --> 00:12:49,398 Bill, you need more confidence in yourself. 231 00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:52,403 If you ask Peggy Hill, you Boot Scoot with the best of them. 232 00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:54,098 I don't know... 233 00:12:54,172 --> 00:12:57,232 EMCEE: All right, this next one's going to be ladies' choice. 234 00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:58,833 Excuse me, Bill. 235 00:12:58,910 --> 00:13:00,537 [Music starts again] 236 00:13:01,513 --> 00:13:02,537 Hey, Peggy. 237 00:13:02,614 --> 00:13:06,072 Better than aerobics, huh? You worked up quite a sweat. 238 00:13:06,151 --> 00:13:07,914 That's not my sweat. 239 00:13:14,526 --> 00:13:17,017 - Where's Luanne? - Luanne's fine. 240 00:13:17,095 --> 00:13:21,498 She's gonna get a ride home with a friend. Tush-push on three! 241 00:13:21,566 --> 00:13:22,931 And three! 242 00:13:27,939 --> 00:13:30,669 Is Luanne going to marry her new boyfriend? 243 00:13:30,775 --> 00:13:34,506 Well, you never can tell. But my guess is, yeah. 244 00:13:35,013 --> 00:13:36,207 BUCKLEY: Luanne! 245 00:13:36,581 --> 00:13:39,448 HANK: That's Buckley! Those better be for me! 246 00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:42,544 No, they're for me for later. Where's Luanne? 247 00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:44,885 Luanne is out with her new boyfriend. 248 00:13:44,956 --> 00:13:47,322 She's in love. You blew it, diphead. 249 00:13:47,392 --> 00:13:50,520 You can't compete with this new guy. He's a football player. 250 00:13:50,595 --> 00:13:53,189 And football players know how to treat women right. 251 00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:56,029 Now get off my lawn, and don't come back. 252 00:13:57,502 --> 00:14:00,801 Why did you send Buckley away? Luanne wants him back. 253 00:14:00,939 --> 00:14:03,772 Not going to happen. I found her a new guy. 254 00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:07,276 You broke the rebound rule? What has gotten into you, Hank? 255 00:14:07,345 --> 00:14:11,008 Well, I was kind of hoping she might fall in love with Wade. 256 00:14:11,082 --> 00:14:14,916 Hope in one hand and boo in the other. See which one gets full first. 257 00:14:14,986 --> 00:14:18,820 You are out of your depth, Hank Hill. You've opened a Pandora's Box. 258 00:14:18,890 --> 00:14:22,382 A box that has a sign that reads, "For Women Only." 259 00:14:22,994 --> 00:14:26,486 As long as it took that river to carve the Grand Canyon... 260 00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:30,934 that is how long women have been learning to subtly manipulate relationships. 261 00:14:31,002 --> 00:14:33,266 You only think it's easy... 262 00:14:33,338 --> 00:14:35,363 because we make it look easy. 263 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,567 Did you really believe... 264 00:14:37,642 --> 00:14:40,372 you could step in and fix it overnight? 265 00:14:40,645 --> 00:14:43,011 Could you really be such a fool? 266 00:14:43,448 --> 00:14:46,252 Woe is you, Hank Hill. Woe is you! 267 00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:49,419 No! Everything is going to be fine. 268 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:53,021 Wade's a good guy. You don't know. He runs fast. 269 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:54,525 It'll be fine. 270 00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:55,582 [Tires screeching] 271 00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:56,855 What's that? 272 00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,689 See? Everything's fine. 273 00:15:00,766 --> 00:15:02,757 Good old Wade drove her home. 274 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:06,100 Look at that, he's fixed his Dodge up just like Boomhauer's. 275 00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,639 PEGGY: Why on earth would anyone do that? 276 00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:10,139 Boomhauer! 277 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,338 Good night. Thanks for the lift. 278 00:15:14,546 --> 00:15:16,104 No! 279 00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:31,327 HANK: Luanne, what happened to Wade? 280 00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:34,332 Why aren't you with Wade? I want Wade! 281 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,925 As soon as you left, Wade turned into Mr. Grabby Sam. 282 00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:41,029 I think you fixed me up with him to get your den back. 283 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,165 Thank goodness Boomhauer gave me a lift. 284 00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:46,439 A lift? Is that what they're calling it these days? 285 00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,002 You can't trust this guy. 286 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,277 He's a no-good, immoral, skirt-chasing rascal. 287 00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:54,113 At least you like him better than Buckley. 288 00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:56,620 What are you saying? He's your new boyfriend? 289 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,350 PEGGY: Hank? LUANNE: So? What if he is? 290 00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,415 If he is, he ain't no more! 291 00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:03,359 You can't tell me what to do. You're not my father. 292 00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:06,762 Yeah, I guess not. Damn straight I'm not. 293 00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:09,926 But while you're under my roof, I'm your landlord! 294 00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:12,903 And as your landlord, I forbid you to date Boomhauer! 295 00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:15,701 - Shut up, Hank. - I can find another roof! 296 00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:17,537 I'll stay at Boomhauer's! 297 00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:18,769 - Fine! - Fine! 298 00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:21,278 Hey, wait, man. This ain't gonna work out... 299 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:24,111 these little gals coming around here, flat out no, man. 300 00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:25,810 Thanks, Boomhauer. Let's go. 301 00:16:25,884 --> 00:16:29,411 These dang old women from Mars, man. I'll tell you what. 302 00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:38,191 Don't go in there, Luanne. I'm warning you. 303 00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:39,753 You'll be sorry! 304 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:43,427 DALE: Damn it! This neighborhood is turning into Melrose Place. 305 00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:51,473 [Leaf blower running] 306 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:59,173 Hank, it is after midnight! What the heck are you doing? 307 00:16:59,251 --> 00:17:01,811 Clearing some space for my leaf blower. 308 00:17:02,888 --> 00:17:05,948 Hank, this is not about the leaf blower, is it? 309 00:17:06,024 --> 00:17:07,355 Sure it is. 310 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,056 [Swallowing] 311 00:17:11,997 --> 00:17:13,658 - What are you eating? - Nothing. 312 00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:15,859 You're eating your emotions, aren't you? 313 00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,266 Maybe. Who knows? I don't care. Whatever. 314 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:22,068 You thought you could fix Luanne like a flywheel drive plate. 315 00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:24,336 But a flywheel drive plate doesn't talk back. 316 00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,605 Flywheel drive plates do not have feelings. 317 00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:29,078 - Flywheel drive plates... - I took her in, Peg. 318 00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:33,551 I put a 20-year roof over her head and a sofa sleeper under the rest of her. 319 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,645 And this is the thanks I get? Well, no thanks. 320 00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:38,482 [Gulping] 321 00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:40,814 Just face it, Hank Hill. 322 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,727 The only reason you're this upset is because you care so much about Luanne. 323 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:47,595 The only thing I care about is getting my den back. 324 00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:54,963 Boy, I've never been in here before. 325 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,871 It sure is bachelory. 326 00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,176 Can I turn this light on? 327 00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:01,302 [Stammering] 328 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,244 That's real pretty. Gosh. 329 00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:08,018 You move very fast, Boomhauer, but... 330 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:12,416 I'm having all these feelings, and I need just a little time to... 331 00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:13,980 [Door slams] 332 00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:15,882 [Sighs] 333 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,530 HANK: Okay, last case of beer. Let's divvy it up. 334 00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:21,823 BILL: Hey! 335 00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:24,232 It don't split up even anymore. 336 00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:26,066 DALE: That one's Boomhauer's. 337 00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:28,663 That cradle robber's getting none of my beer. 338 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:30,503 Boomhauer didn't do anything. 339 00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:33,977 Even if he did, why do you care? Luanne's not your relation. 340 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:38,745 Hell, she's my wife's brother's daughter. You can't get any closer than that. 341 00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:42,719 Look, let's just split that six-pack up. We can each take two. 342 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:45,650 Tell you what, I'll take the whole thing. 343 00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:49,493 Okay, Mom, let's try a move of my own. 344 00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:53,024 And split kick right, and back... 345 00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:56,295 and split kick left, and sideways shuffle. 346 00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:57,426 Go! 347 00:18:59,404 --> 00:19:01,531 - Are you okay, Bobby? - Yeah. 348 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,608 Well, it was a nice move. 349 00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:06,411 - Yeah. - Oh, honey. 350 00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:09,880 - It's just not right without Luanne. - Yeah. 351 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,115 This was a nice idea, Peg. Get us out of that house. 352 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:20,886 Son, they got eight kinds of ketchup here... 353 00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:22,984 and three kinds of catsup. 354 00:19:23,128 --> 00:19:25,460 BOOMHAUER: I think I'll have some fried chicken... 355 00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:28,989 a plate of fried chicken, French fries, and some fried okra. 356 00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:33,972 Luanne! And Boomhauer, too. Well, isn't this a nice surprise? 357 00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:37,604 Is that gravy lumpy tonight? 358 00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:39,939 Hi, Aunt Peggy, Uncle Hank. 359 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:44,210 I'll take a bowl of the white gravy and a bowl of brown gravy. 360 00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:47,252 Hey, Dad, it's Luanne, right behind you. 361 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,547 Dad! It's Luanne! 362 00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:53,890 Hey, Dad. Can't you hear me? Luanne, right behind you! 363 00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:01,292 Hank, man, I don't know what you're thinking, but you've got to know... 364 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:05,097 I'm no Woody Allen with that Soon-Li. Nothing's going to happen. 365 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:08,571 Boomhauer, you're not going to talk your way out of this one. 366 00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:12,371 - Uncle Hank, I was... - Don't "Uncle" me anymore, Luanne. 367 00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:15,470 Just come on by tomorrow, and pick your stuff up. 368 00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:18,015 I got it all boxed and ready to go. 369 00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,777 PEGGY: You finally got your wish. 370 00:20:22,854 --> 00:20:25,982 You are going to get your den back. I hope you're happy. 371 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,184 [Sobbing] 372 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,086 HANK: Look, she's crying again. 373 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:34,929 I guess she just got dumped by her new boyfriend, Boomhauer. 374 00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,735 [Whispering] He didn't dump her, you did. 375 00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:38,792 What was that? 376 00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:41,930 BOBBY: She said, "Boomhauer didn't dump her, you did!" 377 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,203 Pass the catsup. 378 00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:48,668 [Sighs] 379 00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:55,115 LUANNE: I came for my stuff. HANK: It's all in there. 380 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,522 [Sobbing] 381 00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:14,202 I was moving stuff around... 382 00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:17,900 and it seems that the room looks a little better this way. 383 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,240 The bed is even out. 384 00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:24,078 I figure there's no sense in packing it up night after night. 385 00:21:24,916 --> 00:21:26,884 I love you, Uncle Hank. 386 00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:28,579 [Sobbing] 387 00:21:29,221 --> 00:21:30,449 Oh, Lord. 388 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,260 [Sobbing] 389 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,728 Is he still looking? 390 00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:45,225 Yeah. 391 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:48,205 You know, Hank, maybe it's time to settle this. 392 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,296 Yeah... 393 00:21:49,441 --> 00:21:52,171 I just hate these big emotional scenes. 394 00:21:53,345 --> 00:21:55,575 Well, let's get it over with. 395 00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:57,145 Boomhauer! 396 00:21:57,215 --> 00:21:58,239 Yeah? 397 00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,409 HANK: Beer? 398 00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:02,078 Yeah. 399 00:22:03,789 --> 00:22:05,620 That was beautiful. 400 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,386 [Gulping] 401 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,220 [Gulping] 402 00:22:10,305 --> 00:23:10,476 Who are the real-world Illuminati ? 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