1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:28,000 Ripped By mstoll 3 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:32,964 LUANNE: You know... 4 00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:35,667 you are so lucky to go to prom. 5 00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:37,666 I never got to go to mine. 6 00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,135 Yeah, uh-huh. I don't know 7 00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:40,739 if I should get a blowout or an updo. 8 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:46,412 I missed my prom because I had to testify against my momma. 9 00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:50,379 Everyone got the most romantic night of their life, 10 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,745 and all I got was my momma sent to jail. 11 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,683 I think I'll get an updo. 12 00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:56,788 The bailiff that had 13 00:00:56,923 --> 00:01:00,222 to wrestle my mamma had an updo. 14 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,361 (voice cracking): You're gonna look so pretty. 15 00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:04,292 (crying) 16 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,367 I put some syrup in your soda 17 00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:12,198 because I know you like stuff sweet. 18 00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:13,600 How many spoons? 19 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,004 I don't know. I just poured. 20 00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:21,008 Bobby, you poured good. 21 00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,773 Why don't you treat yourself to one? 22 00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:25,348 You sure know how to live, Lucky. 23 00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:29,019 I had such a stressful day. 24 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,953 I can't wait till prom season is over on Saturday. 25 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,754 Then you and me and teenie Lucky 26 00:01:34,894 --> 00:01:36,987 can go out on a romantic date. 27 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,654 You know I would love to, 28 00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,959 but right now I'm rigging my truck for stumping. 29 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:42,659 What's "stumping"? 30 00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:45,270 It's when you go hunting for a stump of burled walnut... 31 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,702 The most valuable of all the trophy woods... 32 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,240 And pull it out of the ground. 33 00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,502 I'll come with you. 34 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,474 I could brew some sun tea 35 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,341 and bring a picnic basket. 36 00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:56,482 The ants will get into our food 37 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,516 and then we'll laugh and laugh. 38 00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:01,484 I'm sorry, but stumping is a gentleman's pursuit. 39 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:05,022 So is sticking and catfisting and everything you do. 40 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:08,490 Luanne, my life would be easier without this passion, 41 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,119 but it wouldn't be as full. 42 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,766 Uh, Peggy, my steak 43 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:22,532 seems kind of small. 44 00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:24,734 You're not pulling the new guidelines on me, are you? 45 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,038 No, I am not. 46 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,941 I just didn't realize that Luanne 47 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:29,173 would be with us tonight, 48 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,408 sol had to re-portion. 49 00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,849 I thought I was going out with Lucky, 50 00:02:34,053 --> 00:02:37,250 but he doesn't have the time to spend with me. 51 00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:39,721 (sighing) 52 00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:43,023 Huh. So I guess you had nowhere else to go? 53 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,358 Hank. (crying) 54 00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,796 What's she want? A piece off my plate? 55 00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:50,299 There's not a whole lot there. 56 00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:56,370 YEP- YEP- 57 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:57,976 Mm-hmm. 58 00:02:58,144 --> 00:03:00,237 I've had it since I was 12, 59 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:03,349 a constant, high-pitched ringing in my left ear. 60 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,574 I guess it's something I'll just 61 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,275 have to learn to live with. 62 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:11,251 Luanne's not home, Lucky. 63 00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:12,823 We're not here to see Luanne. 64 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,018 We came to visit you, Uncle Hank. 65 00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:17,561 See, I'm looking to get more power into my winch. 66 00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:19,527 Hmm, continue. 67 00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:22,157 You see, winches ain't something the three of us know. 68 00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:24,270 What I know abouts dogs. 69 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:25,871 You need something done about a dog, 70 00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:27,439 I'm the one you see. 71 00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:30,065 Lucky, your man's making me nervous. 72 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,905 Mud Dauber didn't mean to scare you. 73 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,104 Did you, Mud Dauber? Not at present. 74 00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:35,407 He's just upset 75 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,049 'cause he and Elvin can't help me 76 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:40,186 bring in a 48 inch stump of burled walnut. 77 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:41,944 It's not we don't want to. 78 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,146 It's all 'cause judge says 79 00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:45,052 we can't cross the county line. 80 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,420 Boy, I've never heard of a 48 inch 81 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,391 stump of burled walnut. 82 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:50,928 You're talking diameter, right? 83 00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:52,894 He don't talk nothing else. 84 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,363 It's real, all right. 85 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:58,560 My Grandpappy first found it back in 1923. 86 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:02,336 Grandpappy was on a church picnic, 87 00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:05,239 and got separated from his group. 88 00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:08,711 A storm came up over the hills and Grandpappy 89 00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:12,783 had to take shelter in what fumed out to be the most 90 00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:15,887 valuable stump in all of Texas. 91 00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:18,747 As fate would have it, 92 00:04:18,891 --> 00:04:21,382 Grandpappy took ill and was called to his maker 93 00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,859 before he had a chance to bring it in. 94 00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:27,834 I hunted that piece of walnut for many a year. 95 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,826 And then one day I finally found it. 96 00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:33,438 Se! My winch to it and everything. 97 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:36,007 But the cable snapped. 98 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,872 I went to the Costco to buy a new one, 99 00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:40,569 slipped on pee pee, got my settlement moneys 100 00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:42,271 and the rest is history. 101 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,440 That stump was worth $15,000, 102 00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,576 and that's in back then dollars. 103 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,280 And due to Elvin and Mud Dauber's... indiscretions, 104 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:53,358 I am down fellow adventurers. 105 00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:56,154 I've always wanted to see walnut in the wild. 106 00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:58,524 And Boomhauer's always wanted 107 00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:00,326 a walnut dashboard. 108 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,264 Yeah, and my rifle could use a burled walnut stock. 109 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:06,065 And I need a walnut... hat! 110 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:09,731 And I... Oh, I just want to come. 111 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,904 You know, in the old days, 112 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,811 that stuff would be crawling with nits. 113 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,486 Don't worry, little boy. I'm going to give 114 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,214 you the best cut ever! 115 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:28,049 Because prom pictures are forever. 116 00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:30,388 As are not prom pictures, 117 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:33,226 which are all I have. 118 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:35,264 I'm not going to the prom. I can't. 119 00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:36,834 Of course you can. 120 00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:39,200 Everyone goes to the prom now, 121 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,102 even the crippled and the gay. 122 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,366 I don't have a date. 123 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:43,839 Really? 124 00:05:43,976 --> 00:05:45,466 I'd go with you in a heartbeat. 125 00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:49,443 (quivering breaths) 126 00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:52,517 Well... would you like to go with me to the prom? 127 00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,916 Me? Oh. 128 00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:56,578 You are such a sweet boy. 129 00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:57,950 I would love to, but... 130 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,582 I already have a fiancé. 131 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,126 Oh. Hey, I've got nothing going on that night 132 00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:04,661 if you wanna grab a taco. 133 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,525 I'm not saying stumping isn't risky. 134 00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:10,602 When you're out there with nothing but chains, 135 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:13,068 beer and a winch, you could rip your arm off 136 00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:15,230 and there ain't no one out there to sue. 137 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:18,002 (vehicle approaching) 138 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,543 Hey, Baby Girl, 139 00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:21,340 and my girl's baby. 140 00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:22,505 Look at my new winch. 141 00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:24,616 That's nice. 142 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,184 Hey Lucky, 143 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,514 the inspectors are letting That's Amore 144 00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:30,246 open back up tomorrow night. 145 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,450 Well, bring me home some osso bucco then, 146 00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,288 'cause me and the boys are going out. 147 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,661 Fine, then I, too, will be going out 148 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:40,857 with a boy as well. 149 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,068 To the Arlen High School Prom. 150 00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:45,568 I have been asked. 151 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,403 No way, Luanne. 152 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,942 You will not wear 153 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,138 another man's wrist corsage. 154 00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:57,772 If you are not going to take me out on a Saturday night, 155 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,942 or ever, why shouldn't I go? 156 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,644 Because I've seen the movies 157 00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,812 and I know what goes on at prom. 158 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,150 You're sitting this one out. 159 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:06,781 Nu-uh, I'm not! 160 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,588 Prom night is the most romantic night of the year, 161 00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:12,527 and I am not spending it alone again. 162 00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:15,462 Luanne, I'm not messing around here. 163 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,398 If you go to that prom... 164 00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:18,731 Well, that does it! 165 00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:21,237 Well, if you go stumping, then... 166 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:23,171 then that does it! 167 00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:24,401 Oh, no! 168 00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:26,239 Don't do this, you guys! 169 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:30,440 Lay down your pride and give way to the glory of love! 170 00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:36,818 I'm going stumpin'. 171 00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:47,291 Well, I guess that does it. 172 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,501 PEGGY: I cannot believe 173 00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:57,699 someone in this family is finally going to their prom. 174 00:07:57,877 --> 00:08:00,277 I could have gone with an ugly or unpopular guy, 175 00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,243 but I stuck by my principles. 176 00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,246 Sometimes I wish my leg was a stump 177 00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:06,476 so Lucky would pay attention to me. 178 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,917 Is that wrong? Yes. 179 00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:10,521 You should not be fantasizing 180 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,055 about being a hunk of wood. 181 00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:13,385 You should be thinking 182 00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:14,992 about this magical night ahead. 183 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,026 The gymnasium will be transformed 184 00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:18,720 with glitter and crepe paper. 185 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:21,333 There might even be balloons in the basketball hoops. 186 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,402 I never dreamed that going to a dance 187 00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:24,901 with a 15-year-old boy 188 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,972 I barely know could be so wonderful! 189 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,438 Oh! 190 00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,337 Oh, Luanne, tomorrow night, 191 00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:32,444 I will be living vicariously through you. 192 00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:34,170 Thank you! 193 00:08:34,313 --> 00:08:37,339 Okay, when you dance, I want you to do it in a way 194 00:08:37,483 --> 00:08:39,678 that will make people form a circle around you and clap. 195 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:46,157 So, what'll it be- the Linda Evans 196 00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:48,453 or the Joan Collins? 197 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,226 Come on, Bobby! 198 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,561 Keep brushing! 199 00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:57,397 You've got to flatten this thing out! 200 00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:59,334 I'm trying, but it keeps on jumping back! 201 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:01,764 (doorbell rings) 202 00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:03,341 PEGGY: Who is it? 203 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,103 KEVIN: I'm kind of having a tux emergency. 204 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,404 (gasps): It's Kevin! 205 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,808 You can't be here! 206 00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:10,108 It's bad luck to see me before the prom! 207 00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:12,046 I think that's on your wedding day, Luanne. 208 00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:13,378 Oh. 209 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,521 This was all the tux shop had left. 210 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,452 I thought I'd look like James Bond. 211 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,251 I'm not gonna look like James Bond. 212 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,292 Oh, Kevin, don't worry. 213 00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:23,520 What you wear is so much less important 214 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,096 than what I'm wearing. 215 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,034 What's wrong? 216 00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:30,635 Them. 217 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,534 LUANNE: That's just Elvin and Mud Dauber. 218 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:34,765 Go away! Git! 219 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,272 I'm busy! 220 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,877 Who the hell is he? 221 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:42,014 This is my friend, Kevin. 222 00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:44,309 Kevin is taking me to the prom. 223 00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:46,314 So you're out going to some damn prom 224 00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:47,816 behind Luckys back? 225 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,478 Who's Lucky? Shut up. 226 00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,088 Aunt Peggy! 227 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,384 Elvin and Mud Dauber are making trouble! 228 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,293 Not in my house. 229 00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:58,225 Not unless you want some of this. 230 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,758 Relax. 231 00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:05,496 It's just oven cleaner, but they don't know that. 232 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,744 We've been off road for a while now, Lucky. 233 00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:13,903 Do you have a map? 234 00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,980 Uh-huh. 235 00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:17,706 Must be an implant. 236 00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:19,408 I wonder who did his. 237 00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:21,712 The guy who did mine did not inspire confidence. 238 00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:23,549 (cell phone ringing) 239 00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,350 Lucky here. What? 240 00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:26,924 Ow! 241 00:10:27,059 --> 00:10:29,789 You sure about that? 242 00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:32,863 Well, Luanne's made her decision. 243 00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:35,091 She's going to the prom with that kid. 244 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:36,791 Uh... 245 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,494 when you're stumpin', 246 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,538 you don't talk about relationships, right? 247 00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:42,197 Nope. 248 00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,275 Well, all right. 249 00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:46,242 What did Lucky say? 250 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,937 Oh, he's hurtin'. 251 00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:49,706 I can tell it in his voice. 252 00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:51,712 We got to make this right. 253 00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:04,159 (Elvin imitates high-pitched squeal of tire deflating) 254 00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:06,526 I wonder what sound you'll make. 255 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,533 (sighs): I'm 15 years old, and I'm a high school senior. 256 00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:11,227 I've lived through everything. 257 00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:12,837 I've been teased, I've been pantsed, 258 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,940 I've had my head shoved in the toilet. 259 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,406 What can you do to me that hasn't been done? 260 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,375 Kill you. 261 00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:25,849 Luanne, you look almost lovely. 262 00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:27,519 Almost? 263 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,622 That's why I want you to have this. 264 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,657 (gasps): A tiara! 265 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,292 It's so beautiful. 266 00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:36,951 Just take good care of it. 267 00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:40,326 It has been in the family since Halloween of 1973. 268 00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:44,359 (Hank sighs) 269 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,902 Five men, 270 00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:47,529 one stump. 271 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,902 This is the sort of thing they write books about. 272 00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:52,543 You know what would make for an even better book? 273 00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:55,307 If one of us turned into a werewolf right now. 274 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,916 (exaggerated grunting) 275 00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,950 Uh, can't do it. 276 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,144 (thudding) 277 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,549 You okay? 278 00:12:02,688 --> 00:12:04,019 We're getting close. 279 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,750 That was the exact same gopher hole 280 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,223 I tripped in years ago. 281 00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:12,964 And that's the same branch I hit my head on. 282 00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:16,899 I stumbled forward on my hands and knees for 15... 283 00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:18,731 No, 16 paces until... 284 00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:19,895 Oh! 285 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:21,039 (gasps) 286 00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,539 There it is! 287 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,342 (cackling hysterically) 288 00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:28,241 (Bill and Dale laughing) 289 00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,472 Oh, my God. 290 00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:34,643 That's six burls per square inch. 291 00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:38,052 I've found you, you burled son of a bitch! 292 00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:44,221 (doorbell rings) 293 00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:45,522 It's my prom date! 294 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:46,824 Coming! 295 00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:52,570 This is such a magical night! 296 00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,730 I feel just like Cinderella! 297 00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:58,468 Little boy, did you used to be a mouse? 298 00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,976 I'm Kevin's brother. 299 00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:01,976 He asked me to bring you this. 300 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,216 Oh, my God! 301 00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:07,249 Kevin isn't taking me to the prom. 302 00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:08,647 (gasps) 303 00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:11,654 I used to have a fiancé who loved me! 304 00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,519 Then he left me, and I thought, 305 00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:16,560 "Oh, well, I get to go to the prom. 306 00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:19,220 At least I'll get to be happy one night!" 307 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:20,662 But now, 308 00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:24,064 I'll never be happy ever again! 309 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:27,264 Why is this happening, Kevin's little brother? 310 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,509 Do you have any candy? 311 00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:32,076 (crying) 312 00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:34,679 I have no candy, either! 313 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,748 (sobbing) 314 00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:44,284 (sobbing) 315 00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:46,118 (quietly): Go ahead, Bobby, ask her. 316 00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:47,919 (quietly): Don't make me, please! 317 00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:51,992 (sobbing) 318 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,029 Ugh! 319 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,169 Luanne, I know it's not for a few years, 320 00:13:57,269 --> 00:14:00,705 but will you go to my prom with me? 321 00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:03,365 (frightened gasp) 322 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:07,605 Oh, honey, crying will not make this go away. 323 00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:09,338 I Will. 324 00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:12,006 There's nothing to do, Aunt Peggy. 325 00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:13,482 Lucky's gone. 326 00:14:13,652 --> 00:14:15,415 And Kevin's gone. 327 00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:17,488 Maybe I'll just crash the prom and... 328 00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:19,521 everyone will suffer. 329 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:23,594 Well, I cannot make Lucky a better man. 330 00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:25,128 But I think I can help. 331 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,855 Come on, get your tiara. 332 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,662 PEGGY: Kevin! 333 00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:34,136 You are taking Luanne to the prom. 334 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,676 You have to take me, Kevin! I traded my fiancé for this! 335 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,505 But those men said they'll kill me. 336 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:41,613 They'll have to get past me first. 337 00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,374 Well, you are pretty scary. 338 00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:46,211 Yes, I am. 339 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,979 Now are you gonna to clip on this bow tie, or am I? 340 00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:56,218 Okay, guys, looks like we're a little short on cable. 341 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,386 So all we need is to get a few crowbars 342 00:14:58,530 --> 00:14:59,588 underneath the stump 343 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,165 and leverage up about six inches. 344 00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:03,428 Then Lucky and I will pull the winch cable taut, 345 00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:05,025 lock it on 346 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,637 and pull it out. 347 00:15:06,772 --> 00:15:08,296 All right, I'm ready, let's go. Let's go, man. 348 00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:09,600 Yay! 349 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,539 Okay, Lucky, let's do it. 350 00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:15,237 One, two, three... now! 351 00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:20,246 Just another inch or two! 352 00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,547 (grunting and groaning) 353 00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:24,985 Lucky, put your weight into it! 354 00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:26,590 Oh, man, come on, man. 355 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:27,885 Lucky! 356 00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:29,460 Have you seen this picture 357 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,085 of Luanne eating pancakes? 358 00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,871 What sounds good to eat? 359 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:44,134 I'm not really hungry. 360 00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:45,834 No, no, no, this is going to be 361 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,774 the best night of my life, damn it! 362 00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:50,347 You will have chicken and I will have steak! 363 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,040 Just like I always imagined! 364 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,680 (gasps) 365 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,618 Kevin, you've got nothing to worry about. 366 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,056 Elvin and Mud Dauber are not going to do anything to you. 367 00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,560 Not when they're already on probation for violent crime. 368 00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:06,095 What did they do? 369 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,722 I don't know. Something with a nail gun. 370 00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:12,399 Oh, there's an old lady selling roses. 371 00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,563 We will take one! 372 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:17,933 Oh, face it, 373 00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:19,337 she was meant for better men than us. 374 00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:21,512 We were so close. 375 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,911 I've never felt closer to anyone. 376 00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:25,778 Talkin' bout ol' giving up, man. 377 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,318 Come on, man, you ain't got no pain, there ain't no gain, man. 378 00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:29,752 Boomhauer is right. 379 00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:31,378 It took this long to find it, 380 00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,855 we're not letting it go. Yay! 381 00:16:34,026 --> 00:16:36,654 So, Uncle Hank, you think I should apologize to Luanne 382 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,990 and tell her that I love her with all my heart 383 00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,758 and if I can't do something with her, 384 00:16:40,866 --> 00:16:41,992 it's not worth doing at all? 385 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:43,693 (Sighs) 386 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,963 Don't take this the wrong way, Lucky, 387 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:49,006 but I sincerely don't care what you do. 388 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,699 I got ya. 389 00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:53,005 Okay, let's do it! 390 00:16:53,145 --> 00:16:54,112 (engine starting) 391 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:04,347 Huh. 392 00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:17,466 Everything looks so beautiful. 393 00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:19,867 Would you start having a good time? 394 00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:23,237 This night is going to make up for how crappy my life is. 395 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:24,331 Let's dance. 396 00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:25,499 I don't know. 397 00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,235 Come on, it's easy. 398 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,244 I put my head here 399 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,713 and you put your hand right here, 400 00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:34,545 and maybe if you're lucky you'll feel the baby kick. 401 00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:52,102 Okay, go ahead. 402 00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:53,465 Not so fast. 403 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,208 Okay, next. 404 00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:02,043 Elvin? What? 405 00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:05,275 Have you ever been bit by a brown recluse spider? 406 00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,783 If I had, I'd be dead, 407 00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:10,319 and you wouldn't be asking me about it now, would you? 408 00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:12,822 Shh. I see 'em. 409 00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:14,390 Touch dancing. 410 00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:19,187 (wood creaking) 411 00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:20,355 Did you hear something? 412 00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:21,932 Kevin, we're fine. 413 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,262 It's completely safe. 414 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:26,571 (gasps) 415 00:18:26,738 --> 00:18:28,205 Aunt Peggy, help! 416 00:18:29,341 --> 00:18:30,308 Coming! 417 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,690 Kevin, you are going to have to fight. 418 00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:51,694 I can't. 419 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,456 I know you think you can't. 420 00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:55,066 But when pushed too far, 421 00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:58,067 you nerds always have amazing strength. 422 00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:00,671 You can punch the bully out with one punch. 423 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:07,872 I can't get a grip. 424 00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:09,480 He's wriggling like a frog. 425 00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,173 Then whomp him like one. 426 00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:17,453 Kevin, summon your amazing strength. 427 00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:19,022 (loud honking) 428 00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:22,859 (gasps) 429 00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:24,451 There a problem here, boys? 430 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,621 Nothing can't be fixed. 431 00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:36,298 Let the boy go, Elvin. 432 00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:47,710 Did you get your stump? 433 00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:51,117 I did a lot of thinking out in those woods, Luanne. 434 00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:53,087 And I came to realize... 435 00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:54,453 that you are my stump. 436 00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:58,058 Oh, Lucky. 437 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,164 I missed you. 438 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:03,259 I'm gonna go now. 439 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:07,238 Not so fast, boy. 440 00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:08,862 My girl wants to have a prom, 441 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,702 and I'm not dressed for one myself, 442 00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:13,174 so go ahead and be her date. 443 00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:15,041 But the last dance is mine. 444 00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,809 And tell the D.J. The last song 445 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:23,354 is gonna be "25 Or 6 To 4" by the great Chicago. 446 00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,285 Oh! 447 00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:29,858 (trembling breaths) 448 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,654 DALE: I'm so cold. 449 00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:34,398 We're all cold, Dale. 450 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,892 If we huddle together, 451 00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:39,502 we'll retain our heat and we won't get hypothermia. 452 00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:41,038 Not a chance. 453 00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:42,299 Come on, Hank. 454 00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:43,941 No one will ever know. 455 00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:46,134 I will. And that's enough. 456 00:20:46,612 --> 00:20:53,313 (Chicago's "25 Or 6 To 4" playing) 457 00:21:48,740 --> 00:21:50,708 LUANNE: Summon your amazing strength. 458 00:21:53,500 --> 00:22:01,500 Ripped By mstoll 459 00:22:02,305 --> 00:23:02,703 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/6zu4z Help other users to choose the best subtitles