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-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-
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Ripped By mstoll
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MAN (on TV): Friend, you too
can be rich like Dr. Money
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and have champagne for breakfast
and caviar for your cats.
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How much return do you want
for your investment?
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(loud crash)
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(mumbles)
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200%?
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Okay, Mr. Hard Bargain, 400%!
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(gasps)
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And all by just walking out
to your mailbox.
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Of course,
walking to mailbox not so easy
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when your mansion's this big!
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That could have been me
under there.
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I could have died last night.
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A bed, huh?
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I always pictured you
sleeping in a pile
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of shredded newspaper
like a hamster.
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Boy, facing your own mortality
really makes you think.
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Feels like someone's trying
to tell me something.
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Yeah, that was me six months ago
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when I said you needed
to get your roof inspected.
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No, Hank.
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My roof caving in happened
for a reason.
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It wasn't to kill me,
it was to wake me up.
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I've been spared for some
greater purpose, but what?
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Why am I here?
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Tell you what, man,
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talkin' 'bout ol'
meaning of life, man.
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Go read that ol'
Hitchhiker's Guide, man.
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Talk-Talkin' 'bout
ol' four... 42, man.
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Look, Bill, you're just shaken
up 'cause you lost a good roof.
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All you need is
a home maintenance organizer.
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I'll make you a binder.
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Thanks,
but what I need is meaning,
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and there's no binder for that.
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Look, Bill,
I'm on your deathbed.
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Now I'm bouncing
on your deathbed.
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Maybe Bill's purpose
in life should be
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to proofread the bulletin.
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Apparently spell-
check is a sin.
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Hey, Hank.
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Can you scooch over?
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Come on, Bill.
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It's kind of tight
in here already.
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I can't focus on God
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if I'm afraid we're going
to touch knees.
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Please.
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I promise I won't spread.
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(Sighs)
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REVEREND STROUP:
Good morning.
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Before we begin,
I'd like to share some thoughts
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about last week's
church breakfast.
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Normally I don't take it
personally
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when people don't participate,
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but when you're sitting alone
with 300 pancakes,
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you can't help but take stock.
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Anyway, after a glass of Merlot
and a good cry, I realized,
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"Hey, I'm not a quitter."
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So I've come up with some
fantastic new activities
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and they're listed
in your bulletins.
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Hey, there's something
every night of the week,
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sometimes two things.
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Somethings happening to me,
Hank, something wonderful.
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Uh, okay.
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I think I've found my purpose.
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It's here in the church
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Reverend Stroup needs people
to get involved
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and that's what I'm going to do.
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Well, good for you, Bill.
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Uh, I know you're excited,
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but I'm going to need at least
a hymnal's width between us.
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Sorry.
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REVEREND STROUP:
Everyone,
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we have a new addition to our
Bible study: Bill Dauterive.
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We're happy to have
you with us, Bill.
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I'm happy to be here.
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God told me
to come here tonight.
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No, no, no,
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not in a crazy way.
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It was purely inspirational.
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Okay, does anyone here
have any thoughts
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about this week's reading?
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Yeah, I-I still
don't understand
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how Abraham could wait
a hundred years
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before God gave him a son.
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I've been waiting four years
for a promotion
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and my head's about to explode.
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Oh, good, we're talking
about your job again.
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Well, it's better than talking
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about your tomato plants
for the 15th time.
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I think the story's
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about patience.
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Being patient is hard,
but if you're waiting
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for something really great,
it's worth it.
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Thank you, Bill.
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I couldn't have said
it better myself.
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Huh.
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Hmm.
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Really.
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Wow.
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Bill, I'm tired
of holding your beer.
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This hand isn't used
to being cold.
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Sorry, just brushing up on
my First and Second 'Timothy.
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So I guess you found
what you were looking for
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there at the church, huh?
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You know, purpose and whatnot?
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Oh, it's great.
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I've got Bible study
three nights a week,
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"Apostles and Donuts"
on Tuesday mornings,
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00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,266
and this Sunday
I'm starting a class
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about the biblical truths
in Narnia.
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Wow, Bill, that is a lot of God.
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I know.
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I think I've found my calling.
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I can't wail to teach the Bible
to people all over the world.
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Uh, the world?
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Oh, sure.
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The church organizes
mission trips all over.
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Haiti, Romania, Nigeria.
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Then, maybe I'll spend
a couple of years
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in a Methodist monastery
to really hone my skills.
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And Bill's off the rails.
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Now hang on, Bill.
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You can't go jumping in
headfirst like you usually do.
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Before you become a minister
and run off to Africa,
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00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:08,866
maybe you should try to find
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00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:10,703
what you're looking
for right here.
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Okay, but really,
it's not up to me,
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so don't get mad
if you're overruled by God.
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Morning.
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Beautiful Sunday, isn't it?
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Nice Bible, Mr. Dauterive.
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Thanks.
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It's waterproof, tear-proof.
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The guy at the store said it
could survive the Apocalypse.
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I guess you needed
something more durable
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for those mission trips, huh?
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Oh, no, those are off, Hank.
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I'm not going anywhere.
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Really?
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Thank God.
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I had a long talk
with Reverend Stroup
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and decided you were right.
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My purpose is
right here in Arlen.
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Everything I need
is in this church,
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all wrapped up
with a green satin stole.
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Well, that's a weird
way to put it,
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but I'm glad you
came to your senses.
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Uh... do you want
me to scoot over?
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00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,355
No, thanks.
I'm gonna grab
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00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:04,553
a seat closer to the front.
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Good morning.
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00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:09,933
Our Old Testament reading
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can be found on page 451
of your pew Bibles.
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Let us hear the Word.
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"Let him kiss me
with the kisses of his mouth,
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for your love is better
than the wine."
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Uh, what is this?
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Song of Solomon.
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Isn't it a little
PG-13 for church?
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Shh!
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"You have ravished my heart
with one look of your eyes..."
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"I am my beloved';
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and his desire is toward me..."
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No!
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Uh, I, uh...
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Sorry, I dropped my Bible here.
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Bill, open up.
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Bill, I know what's
going on here.
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You and Reverend Stroup are...
involved.
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That's crazy, Hank.
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I don't know what you're
talking about.
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Pff, crazy.
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Come on, Bill.
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You can come out.
He knows.
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REVEREND STROUP:
Relax, Hank.
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I won't bite.
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Unless you want her to.
(chuckles)
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Sorry. Poorly timed joke,
completely inappropriate,
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don't even know if it's true.
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Hank, it's okay-ministers
are allowed to date.
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I'm not just a person of God.
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I'm a woman, too.
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Uh, I wouldn't know
anything about that.
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Still, I've found
that congregations
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00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:56,969
can be less than accepting
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00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,633
when it comes to this
type of situation.
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Why do you think
I left St. Paul?
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So if you wouldn't mind, can we
keep this just between us?
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(Sighs)
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All right.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you!
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I gotta go mow
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or water or something.
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I like that song, too.
She sings like an angel.
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Who could Bill be talking to?
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We're all right here.
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Uh, it's probably just work.
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(giggling)
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Sorry, fellas.
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That's okay. We were just, uh...
(phone ringing)
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Hello.
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00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,806
Hi...
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00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:39,213
uh, General.
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00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:41,376
Sorry, I have to take this.
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00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,546
(Sighs)
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00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,550
Oh, Drake.
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00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,058
(knock at door)
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00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,059
BILL:
Hank.
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00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,691
Hi, everybody!
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00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,165
Hank, we need to talk.
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00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,736
BOBBY:
Hey, Mr. Dauterive,
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00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,771
I think Joseph and I saw you
out at Lake Arlen today
215
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,204
when we were riding bikes.
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00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:04,742
Uh, I'm sure it, was
someone else.
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00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:08,108
Mr. Dauterive has a
very common shape.
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00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,112
It sure looked like him.
219
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,080
He was in his car
with some woman.
220
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,379
She was a prostitute!
Bill!
221
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,920
(nervous laughter)
Just kidding. Wasn't me.
222
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,353
Bill, outside.
223
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,160
What do you want, Bill?
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00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,164
Well, as a thank you
for covering for my,
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00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,632
you know, steamy
secret relationship,
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00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:31,293
I wanted to take you
out to dinner.
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00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:34,099
Uh, that's really not necessary.
228
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:35,332
We'll go for steak.
229
00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:38,739
Good steak...
Hmm.
230
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:41,870
Prime steak...
Hmm...
231
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:44,650
Hank, don't be mad.
232
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,309
Don't talk to me.
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00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:47,976
I had to trick you.
234
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,088
You wouldn't have come if
I'd told you Karen and I
235
00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:52,623
wanted a romantic evening out,
and we needed you for cover.
236
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:57,625
It's so naughty being out
in public, isn't it?
237
00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:59,730
No one in this restaurant
knows we're an item.
238
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:01,765
The secret drives me wild.
239
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:03,266
How wild?
240
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:04,733
That's my foot.
241
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,201
Sorry.
Sorry.
242
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,739
Hey, there's one of
those gypsy ladies
243
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,831
selling roses and Tic-Tacs.
244
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:11,271
I'm gonna buy you one of each.
245
00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:16,046
Hank, I was thinking
about taking Bill
246
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,673
to this cute B&B outside
McMaynerbury.
247
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:20,079
Can you sneak away
for an overnight?
248
00:10:20,252 --> 00:10:21,879
What? No!
249
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:24,012
Reverend Stroup, I can't
do this anymore.
250
00:10:24,156 --> 00:10:25,953
I don't want to "sneak away,"
251
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,956
I don't want to keep
lying to everyone.
252
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,116
And you shouldn't either.
253
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:30,956
But I don't have a choice.
254
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,995
If Bill and I want our
relationship to work,
255
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,394
we have to keep it a secret,
256
00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:37,058
or boom, it's St. Paul
all over again.
257
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:39,228
Well, it seems to me
258
00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:42,100
the things you have to keep secret
are things you shouldn't be doing.
259
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,737
You're right, Hank.
It is wrong.
260
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:47,868
I'll talk to Bill tonight.
261
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,041
Sorry, Hank.
262
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:56,154
Would've looked weird if I
didn't buy one for you, too.
263
00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:02,584
Bobby, what are you doing?
You can't take those.
264
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:06,858
But these baby envelopes are
perfect for all my little stuff.
265
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:09,230
Well, you shouldn't have
any "little stuff."
266
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,633
Now put them back.
267
00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:13,204
REVEREND STROUP:
Welcome, everyone.
268
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,433
Before we begin this morning,
I have an announcement.
269
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,133
I hope it's the canned
food drive.
270
00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:20,744
I can finally unload
all that pumpkin pie filling.
271
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:23,381
I've been keeping a secret
from all of you,
272
00:11:23,582 --> 00:11:25,880
and it's time I come clean.
273
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,315
(m murmuring)
274
00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:29,751
I've been dating someone,
275
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:32,289
and he's right here
in this room.
276
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:33,619
Oh, no.
277
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:34,760
Bill?
278
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:37,022
Peace be with you.
279
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,187
Oh, my God.
280
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:41,391
Hank, what's happening?
281
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,606
This is a disaster of
biblical proportions.
282
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:52,643
Now Stroup's gonna shirk
all her spiritual duties.
283
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:54,336
I'm sure she won't, Dale.
284
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,142
Aah, you know how women
get when they're in love.
285
00:11:57,283 --> 00:12:00,047
It's all kissy-face
this, huggy-pie that.
286
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,813
Meanwhile, who's making
sure I get into Heaven?
287
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:04,650
No one.
288
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,621
Hi, everybody.
289
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:08,920
Afternoon, Bill,
Reverend Stroup.
290
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:11,620
Aw, Hank, please, call me Karen.
291
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:13,698
Yeah, I'm, I'm not
gonna do that.
292
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:17,029
Relax, fellas.
293
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:20,196
You don't have to be
nervous around me.
294
00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:22,671
Dale, why don't you pass me
one of those bad boys.
295
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:39,385
Uh, I hear my dang ol'
phone ringing, man.
296
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:40,787
See you guys later, man.
297
00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:49,231
Sweetie, you've got some
beer foam on your lip.
298
00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:51,131
(giggles)
299
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:54,206
Oops, I forgot how
ticklish you are.
300
00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:56,171
Oop, I forgot again!
301
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,640
You are so cute.
302
00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:01,605
My back tire looks low.
303
00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:03,578
Yep, low.
304
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:07,277
Uh, hey, Padre,
salvation over here!
305
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,547
(groans)
306
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,715
I can't wait to share
a popcorn with you.
307
00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:21,590
That's the third time tonight
I've caught people staring at us.
308
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,395
Oh, they're just
jealous of our love.
309
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,969
People will have
to get used to it.
310
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,967
Well, hello, you two.
311
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,269
Bill, this is Justin
and Sue from church.
312
00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:33,240
What a surprise to see you...
313
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:34,607
and you.
314
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,078
It's date night.
315
00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:38,012
We're seeing that
new horror movie.
316
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,550
I love to get scared sol
can hold on to my man.
317
00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:44,752
(gunshots on-screen)
318
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:46,755
(woman screams)
319
00:13:46,926 --> 00:13:48,188
(bestial growl)
320
00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:52,924
Thanks for asking me to join
the building committee.
321
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:56,296
Actually, Hank, we got you here
under false pretenses.
322
00:13:56,402 --> 00:14:00,236
This is about Reverend Stroup
and her... relationship.
323
00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:01,339
Dang it.
324
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:03,100
How do we put this, uh...
325
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:04,971
the two of them together...
Well, it's...
326
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:06,077
It's gross.
327
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,741
Look, we're not saying
they can't date...
328
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:11,247
I'm saying that!
329
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,214
Okay, we wish we could say that,
but we're not.
330
00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:15,014
Can you just get them
to tone it down a bit?
331
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:17,588
(Sighs)
332
00:14:17,723 --> 00:14:19,122
What do you mean?
333
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,521
People have a problem with
Karen and me dating?
334
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,561
Everyone's just having
a hard time getting used to it.
335
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:27,460
Especially with the way
you guys are carrying on.
336
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,033
I can't control howl feel, Hank.
337
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:30,726
We're in love.
338
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,531
If I want to kiss my woman
on the street corner,
339
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:33,535
then I'm gonna do it!
340
00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:35,503
Now, now calm down, Bill.
341
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,269
No one's saying
you two can't date.
342
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:38,535
What's going on?
343
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,735
Who's saying we can't date?
344
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,109
Everybody!
345
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:43,010
Your deacon sent Hank
here to break us up!
346
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:44,945
It's... it's ricoculous!
347
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:46,381
That's not true.
348
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,247
No one wants to break anyone up.
349
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:49,580
This is wrong, Bill.
350
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,417
They can't tear us apart.
351
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:53,251
I know, baby.
Come here.
352
00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:56,892
Well, I hope you're happy, Hank.
353
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,427
You've got my Karen so riled up,
354
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,088
she's down at the church talking
355
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,166
to your love-hating
deacon buddies right now.
356
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:04,359
They don't hate love, Bill.
357
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,938
They just hate your love.
358
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,801
Sweetheart, are you okay?
359
00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:10,431
What did they deacon say?
360
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:11,634
They said
they were uncomfortable
361
00:15:11,777 --> 00:15:13,768
with our relationship.
362
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,076
So what are they gonna do to
you... stockade, public lashing?
363
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:18,843
It's already done.
364
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:22,147
I'm no longer the reverend
of Arlen Methodist.
365
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,147
This is unacceptable!
366
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:26,847
They can't fire you for love.
367
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:28,323
That's discrimination.
368
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:29,722
They didn't fire me, Bill.
369
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,386
I quit.
370
00:15:31,563 --> 00:15:33,793
We're gonna fight this.
We're gonna... Wait. What?
371
00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:35,524
I wasn't gonna stand there
372
00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:37,795
while they suggested what
we were doing is wrong.
373
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,962
So I turned in my robe.
374
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:43,575
So, our love
is no longer forbidden?
375
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:46,041
That's right.
Isn't it wonderful?
376
00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:47,735
I'm gonna go start packing,
377
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,211
so I can move in tonight.
378
00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:51,578
Move in? Move in?
379
00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:52,809
This is so sudden.
380
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,351
I have to, Bill.
381
00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:56,477
I can't live at the church
parsonage anymore.
382
00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:59,089
I'll see you soon.
383
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:05,355
Huh.
384
00:16:05,497 --> 00:16:10,196
Wow, Stroup chose you over God.
385
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:11,894
Huh.
386
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:18,768
(Sighs)
387
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:20,912
Well, this is the last of it.
388
00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:23,140
Can't get rid of me now.
(chuckles)
389
00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:25,944
(chuckles)
390
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:27,552
This is nice,
391
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,247
just you and me living a
quiet, normal life.
392
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,621
Yeah, not having to sneak around
393
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:37,421
or worry what people think is
much more relaxing.
394
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:40,964
Almost boring, in fact.
395
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:45,537
That shelf would be perfect
for my snow babies!
396
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,866
Snow babies?
397
00:16:47,973 --> 00:16:49,998
DALE: Can someone
roll me another beer?
398
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:51,632
Get it yourself, Dale.
399
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,277
No way.
400
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,643
Stroup's ex is bound
to take vengeance on Bill,
401
00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:57,372
and I don't want
to be collateral damage
402
00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:58,777
from one of His lightning bolts.
403
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,145
I don't want her in my house!
404
00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:01,286
What?
405
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,412
I thought I wanted her,
406
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:05,318
but that was when
our relationship
407
00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:08,153
was exciting and taboo,
like Romeo and Juliet.
408
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,761
Now we're just a
normal, boring couple,
409
00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:13,023
and Juliet put all these
weird little snow babies
410
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,790
all over my house!
411
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,662
Look, you can't be so quick
to break it off.
412
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,064
She gave up a lot for you.
413
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,727
Don't you think I know that?
414
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,272
I thought this was all
part of God's plan.
415
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,876
But if it is, then
why am I so miserable?
416
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,272
DALE:
Someone's got to be.
417
00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:28,436
Maybe God was tired of her, too,
418
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:31,174
and his plan was to dump her
on your doorstep.
419
00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:34,080
Please take her back!
Wait...
420
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:36,346
I-I don't mean "kill her"
take her back.
421
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:38,649
Oh, God, what am I gonna do?
422
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:39,849
I can't break up with her.
423
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,459
Tell you what, man,
424
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:43,151
talking about get her to
break up with you, man.
425
00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:44,352
That's how you do it, man.
426
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:46,521
Brilliant, Boomhauer!
427
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,666
Act like an ass, she dumps you,
428
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:49,961
you're off the hook.
429
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:52,002
Why has no one ever
tried that before?
430
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:54,733
You can't do that, Bill.
431
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,365
I like being off the hook.
432
00:17:57,543 --> 00:18:00,706
I'm gonna do Boomhauer's idea.
433
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:01,813
(Sighs)
434
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:10,951
Honey, you barely
touched your dinner.
435
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:13,522
Don't you like
your mashed potatoes?
436
00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:17,326
(curtly):
I've had better.
437
00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:19,828
I guess they are a little dry.
438
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:22,058
Maybe they sat out too long.
439
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:24,336
What are you trying to say,
that I was late for dinner?
440
00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:25,633
No! I just didn't know
441
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,295
when you were coming in
from the alley.
442
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:30,033
So, now I'm spending too much
time with my friends.
443
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:31,437
Bill, what are you
talking about?
444
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,000
You can't change me!
445
00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:35,340
If I want to hang out
in the alley and drink beer
446
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:38,711
and talk about the devil,
then I'm gonna do it!
447
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,148
If you don't like it,
448
00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:41,251
then you can break up with me.
449
00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:42,512
You want to break up with me?
450
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:44,112
I don't want to break up
with you.
451
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:45,780
I love you.
452
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,619
I know.
453
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:58,235
Mom, why is Mr. Dauterive sitting
out there in the dark?
454
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,533
Hank, Bill's on the patio again!
455
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,072
HANK:
I'm on it.
456
00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:05,438
What's going on, Bill?
457
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:07,203
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
458
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:10,873
I tried what Boomhauer said,
but she still won't leave me.
459
00:19:11,049 --> 00:19:13,108
I guess we're getting married.
460
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:15,344
Bill, this is ridiculous.
461
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,283
You can't spend the rest
of your life
462
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:19,447
with someone just because you're
afraid to be honest with them.
463
00:19:19,591 --> 00:19:21,559
But honesty's hard.
464
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,456
I know,
but it's the right thing to do.
465
00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:28,327
There you are, sweetie.
466
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,126
I thought you went
to get us ice cream.
467
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,766
No, Karen, the
ice cream was a lie.
468
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,466
Sit down.
We need to talk.
469
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,941
Now? Oh, God.
470
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,580
What's going on out there, Dad?
471
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,216
Mr. Dauterive
and Reverend Stroup
472
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:50,446
are breaking up on my patio.
473
00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:52,590
Really?
Bobby, dry slower.
474
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,555
Peggy, we can't watch this.
475
00:19:54,726 --> 00:19:56,353
Hank, we have to.
476
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:57,961
When good people fail to watch,
477
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:01,122
bad things happen.
478
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,528
Huh, I pegged her for a cryer,
479
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:03,599
not a screamer.
480
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,532
Should I be seeing this?
481
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:08,138
I feel like I'm growing up
too fast.
482
00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:10,104
Dang it, don't stomp
on the grass!
483
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:11,640
I just reseeded that section.
484
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,038
Wait, she's...
485
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,144
Whoa!
Whoa!
486
00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:15,439
I think she saw us.
Duck!
487
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:23,954
Our New Testament lesson is from the
book of Matthew. Let us hear the Word.
488
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,825
"And seeing the multitudes...
489
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:31,053
So when's Reverend Stroup
going to give sermons again?
490
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,492
That temp guy goes on too long.
491
00:20:32,664 --> 00:20:34,131
I don't know.
492
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,699
I think she's gonna be
on probation for a while.
493
00:20:36,868 --> 00:20:38,165
You know, I can't help but think
494
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:39,998
that this is partly my fault.
495
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:43,005
Uh, it's kind of all your fault,
Bill.
496
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:45,439
Yeah, I guess you're right.
497
00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:48,978
You know, Hank, I think
I finally figured out
498
00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:50,171
what God's plan is for me.
499
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:52,044
Really? What's that?
500
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:54,447
You know how you told me
to fix my roof,
501
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,645
and then you told me not to
secret date our minister,
502
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,221
and then after I did that
503
00:20:58,390 --> 00:20:59,948
I should break up
with her like a man?
504
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:01,057
Yeah?
505
00:21:01,226 --> 00:21:02,853
Well, I think God's plan for me
506
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,689
is to always listen to you.
507
00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:06,797
Well, I don't know about that,
508
00:21:06,965 --> 00:21:10,264
but it has been 3,000 miles
since your last oil change.
509
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:11,800
Don't forget to take
your car in.
510
00:21:11,970 --> 00:21:13,597
Thanks, Hank.
511
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:57,748
DAUTERIVE:
God told me to come here tonight.
512
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:08,500
Ripped By mstoll
512
00:22:09,305 --> 00:23:09,156
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