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When is Principal Moss gonna wrap it up?
I'm useless until I've had my second soda.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, and by the way, I can't eat with you today.
I'm studying with Russ during lunch.
Again?!
What could you possibly be studying?
Mainly him.
He's brilliant,
but he's got the good looks of someone much dumber.
So what are you thirsting for, Bobby?
Cherry cola?
I need something dignified.
What do you have in the Mr. or Dr. variety?
Lift with your legs, Emily.
I can't believe we have to sell sodas
to pay for our educational conference this year.
Well, thanks to those vending machines,
we're $200 closer to Cancun.
At this rate, we can make the trip all-inclusive.
All right! Whoo! Yeah!
In a perfect world, I'd have longer arms
so I could shave my back.
In a perfect world, you'd have no back hair.
Hank, that was unfathomably deep.
We should start a quote notebook
so we remember all these gems.
Yeah, man. Dang ol' talkin' bout like,
like, like that time...
Boomhauer, not yet!
Save it for the book!
It seems like everybody's pairing up.
What happened to keeping it casual?
Yeah,
and everybody's always making out.
And then I'm late for class 'cause I'm always watching.
Hi, Joseph.
Oh, yeah! I have a girlfriend, too.
What?
Hey, there, Landry Longhorns.
If you haven't yet experienced
the refreshing taste of an ice-cold soda today,
why not stop by one of our six new machines?
I just did.
Ahh!
I'm so bored!
Bobby, why aren't you playing video games?
Eh.
Or why don't you go over
and hang out with your friends?
Because Joseph and Connie
and everyone else I know has a date!
I want a date!
Bobby, if you want to meet a girl, you have to do the work.
Find out what she's interested in.
If you're lucky, it'll be sports.
Interests, huh?
Hello, ladies.
I noticed you ordered the pizza.
Are you, uh, interested in pizza?
Tcha.
At least you're always here for me.
Ahh.
I have no one else to sit with.
All of my friends are dating but me.
What's wrong with me?
Don't blame yourself, Bobby.
Blame that soda.
What are you talking about?
Last night on TV
they said a cartel of industrial corn farmers
is putting high-fructose corn syrup into all our food,
and soda is the worst!
Yeah, it's making us all fat and have bad skin.
We're all in their death grip!
Oh, my God!
This explains everything!
If it wasn't for this soda, I'd be thinner!
Maybe even more handsome!
Maybe I'd have a girlfriend.
So, Cancun, huh?
Boy, do I wish I was still a teacher.
School board retreats are so boring.
Do you remember the Acapulco retreat in �?~96?
I remember driving to the airport.
Dang it! This is all because of you.
You're the reason I'm fat and lonely.
Make your purchase and move on, Boobie!
Don't you think if I could move on, I would?
This machine's got me!
It's got all of us!
I used to be thinner!
And more mellow!
But I can't help myself!
Look at me!
I'm buying a soda right now!
Bobby's going crazy.
What's happening?
When was he thin?
Come on!
All right, kids, back to your tables.
Principal Moss, you have to help.
Take these soda machines out of the school.
They're ruining us!
That's enough, Bobby.
I can't avoid 'em.
They're everywhere.
Every time one breaks down,
two more pop up in its place!
How many machines do you have, Carl?
Go on, kids.
Get back to class.
This isn't over!
Why are you looking at me that way, Stu?
Carl, I wish I hadn't seen what just happened here,
but I did see it, and, more importantly,
I was seen seeing it.
Obesity is the new hot-button issue. They've gotta go.
Okay!
Somebody say something immortal.
Well, I was at the grocery store yesterday.
Oh. This is gonna be good.
You say great things to clerks.
Continue!
Well, I told the cashier, usually I give a penny,
but today I'm gonna take a penny.
Huh, �?~kay, just gonna get rid of that.
Be strong.
Keep moving.
Oh! I gotta have one!
Hey, they're taking them out.
Really?
What's happening?
I don't like it when I don't know what's happening.
Bobby told Principal Moss the machines were killing us
and to get rid of them and they did!
Bobby did it for all of us.
Way to go!
Go, Bobby.
Huh.
You really made a difference today.
I'm gonna make sure everyone knows about it.
You're my next article for the school paper.
So, why'd you do it?
I don't know.
I think I do.
It's because you care.
I guess I do.
So, uh, is that something you're interested in?
People who care?
Well, yeah. It's, like, everything to me.
I mean, if more kids cared, there'd be no war.
Caring is good.
There! I said it.
I don't care if it angers people.
Now, if you walk with me to class,
I'll tell you what I think about mean people.
Remember that one time we had breakfast for dinner?
Never again.
Guess what happened to me today?
I got interviewed for the school paper.
By a cute girl.
Well, good for you, Bobby.
Yeah! She was really impressed
that I got the soda machines taken out of the school.
You got them taken out?
Well, all right!
You must have written one heck of a letter
to the school board.
No, I was just yelling about them,
and then some other kids joined in,
and they started yelling.
Before I knew it, the machines were gone.
Dear Lord!
It sounds like you were protesting.
I don't know what you call it,
but Olivia sure found it interesting.
Bobby, protesting is a last resort
after all proper channels have been exhausted.
Unless, of course, you're the French
or movie stars who've fallen on hard times and need attention.
It's true.
I noticed George Clooney became very political
after his Gong Show movie bombed.
Bobby, do you want to end up like George Clooney?
No.
Hi, Olivia.
I liked your article.
It totally captured what I'm all about.
And it really helps the cause and/or movement.
Che Guevara would be proud.
You're both such men of passion.
You're right.
And you know what else I'm passionate about?
Going to a movie... this Friday... with you.
There's no time, Bobby.
The soda machine incident really woke people up.
There's just so much to do.
You care about me.
The deposit for the hotel is due in three days,
and we still don't have the money!
It's all because of that Bobby Hill.
I can't return my bathing suit in good conscience.
I've already tried it on without underwear.
You know, Debbie, we have a lot in common.
Guess why I can't return these pants.
Good news, people. I just found the answer
to our revenue problem.
It's an electronic news ticker.
How is that going to work? You can't put change in there!
I... I don't see how...
Put the coffee down and get a hold of yourself.
The ad company pays us to put it up.
And all we have to do
is let them promote their new energy bars on it.
Folks, the trip's back on!
Thank goodness!
Ha-ha!
What? Did you say something?
No.
Oh.
So, in addition to my editorials,
I'm thinking we should start circulating a few petitions--
one to stop the polar ice caps from melting,
and one to stop the Middle East.
Okay.
Hey, what is that?
Wow, Bobby, she sure talks a lot about stuff.
Are you scoring yet?
No! She's too busy trying to save the world.
Cut her loose, dude.
She's a handful.
Bobby, come look at this.
Can you believe this?
All those tickers do is show ads
for those stupid energy bars.
Most of them have more sugar than a soda.
Ho, boy.
See, my dad is a professor,
and his girlfriend says that all we're being taught in school
is consumption and commercialism.
she's his best student.
Okay. Let's just say I get rid of this ticker.
Would you then feel like you could, you know,
celebrate this victory by going to a movie?
Sure, I'd go to a movie, but it has to be a documentary.
I'm on it!
I've, uh...
drawn up some possible sleeping arrangements.
Now, these can all change mid-trip if necessary.
Good news!
The tour operator says alcohol is permitted
on the hang glider. Heh!
Excuse me, teachers and Principal Moss!
On behalf of the students of Tom Landry,
I demand you remove the tickers!
I am the kid who cares,
and I am here to say no to tickers!
No to commercialism!
No to consumptionalinism!
Everybody relax.
Carl's got this covered.
Bobby, let's talk frankly.
Ow!
This ain't about those tickers, is it?
It's about impressing that little girl out there.
I don't know what to do!
I finally have a girl interested in me,
but it's just because I got rid of those soda machines.
I got to keep it going!
I hear ya, Bobby.
I was a chubby kid.
I even joined the Peace Corps to get girls.
But all the girls in the village
liked Ilunga.
He was seven feet tall, could run for miles,
played the guitar.
I'm digging wells and giving vaccines,
and Ilunga would swoop in with a love song
and a handful of fried grasshoppers.
What you need to do is romance this girl.
Fine. But how?
With a dance.
How did it go?
Well, the tickers aren't going anywhere,
but we're having a dance!
You can pick the theme.
It can be depressing.
Bobby, I thought you cared.
I thought you were radical.
I was even thinking about giving you my school jacket.
That's right. A girl giving a jacket to a guy.
We would have blown their minds!
No deal!
If you don't get rid of those tickers,
I'm going to have to escalate this protest
to the next level of escalation!
Like what? A student walkout?
If you even try to walk out, you little twerp...
It's not up to me.
It's up to all of you.
So, are the tickers in or out?
Walkout!
Oh, my God, Bobby!
Are you leading a walkout?
That's right! People, we're out of here!
Walkout! Walkout!
Walkout! Walkout! Walkout! Walkout! Walkout!
Walkout! Walkout! Walkout! Walkout! Walk...
Moss tried to bribe me!
And to that I say "shame."
I could've sold you all out for my own gain,
but I did not.
Do you know why?
Because you care!
Because I what?!
Because you care!
What are we going to do now, Bobby?
We're walking out.
We already did that.
Oh.
What are we gonna do next?
What do you think we're gonna do next?
I think we're gonna march into town.
To town, I say!
Revolution!
The kids united!
Will never be divided!
The kids united!
Will never be divided!
The kids united!
Will never be divided!
The kids united...!
Yeah, they've finally come to kill us.
Oh, well.
I liked it when we could
just stick them in factories.
The kids united!
Will never be divided!
The kids united!
Will never be divided!
BOBBY The kids united...
will never be divided.
Take it all down, man.
Maybe we should take you down.
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Guys,
we can't do this.
It's just looting and random violence.
That's not what this protest is about.
Right, Olivia?
Bobby's right.
Although, if we burned down City Hall,
it would send a powerful message.
Mm-hmm.
What?!
Oh, I'm sorry, Bobby. You're leading us.
You tell us what to burn down.
Nothing.
We're not going to burn anything down.
Is that the message we want to send?
Yeah!
Yes!
Well... uh...
okay then.
Follow that truck!
Got dang, man, I can't take it, man.
I want a dang old, coming out no quotes, man.
That's talking about too much pressure, man.
Come down for my dang old day, man.
Dear Lord, truants.
Dad!
Bobby?
Start talking.
Things just got crazy so fast.
I was arguing with Principal Moss about some ticker thing
and before I knew it, someone said, "Walk out!"
And I said, "Okay," and then we were outside.
You're protesting again, aren't you?
Yes, but I don't really mean it.
Bobby, I thought we were clear on this.
But you said to find out what girls are interested in,
and this is what she's interested in.
Well, then maybe she's not the girl for you.
I know that now.
She wants to burn down City Hall.
And you brought them here?
I just want this to go away, Dad.
All right.
I'll tell you what.
I'll help you make this go away,
but that doesn't mean you're off the hook.
We'll discuss punishment later.
Okay.
All right, everyone, listen up.
We want a plane to Disney World
and 100 hamburgers.
And we're not leaving till our demands are met.
Relax, kids, I'm not here to tell you to go home.
I'm on your side.
All right, yeah!
Now for a great cause like this you need to be prepared.
Now when the cops come,
they're probably gonna shoot the high-powered hoses at you.
If you don't want them to knock you
down the street, the best thing to do
is tie yourselves to trees or poles.
That doesn't sound fun.
Oh, it's not.
Especially if they have dogs.
And then when they arrest you,
make sure they know you're a juvenile.
That way they can only keep you in jail till you're 21.
And about jail, the good news is,
they have a library so you can still go to school.
Tell me more about jail.
Just go home, son.
I can't believe everybody bailed.
You know, Principal Moss can't put up more news tickers
if he's in the hospital.
Right, Bobby?
Eh... Olivia...
I don't think this is gonna work out.
See, you're crazy.
Bobby, I thought you had passion.
Hey, dude, I got all kinds of passion.
Well, there she goes.
That was a bumpy ride.
Yeesh.
Hey, Dad,
how did you know what was gonna happen
with the protest anyway?
Well, when I was your age I went to protests all the time.
But I thought you hated protests.
Yeah, but my dad loved them.
Cotton used to take me to watch the hippies get beaten up
and shot with water cannons.
Boy, I never saw him happier.
He'd set up lawn chairs
and a big cooler stocked with cold drinks.
Now finish cleaning up so you can get back to the school
and apologize to your teachers.
Hey, Bobby.
Do you need any help?
Oh, Shelly.
Sure.
I kind of liked those energy bars.
I don't think I could've made it the last two miles without one.
But I guess they're still wrong.
Yeah, maybe we should write a letter to get rid of them.
Or start a petition.
Or maybe we could just go to the movies
and forget about all that stuff.
I like movies.
Whoo-hoo!
You go get 'em, honey.
Ooh!
I'm okay.
Do you want to end up like George Clooney?
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