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This is definitely my good side.
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The cheekbone, the eyebrow...
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It all comes together nicely.
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This side... I'm all chin.
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Uh, hey, guys.
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Don't we all do weird things when we think no one's watching?
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Well, I'll be going now. Get him.
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I want to live!
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You're right, he is funny.
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Told ya.
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"I want to live."
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Good one, Bobby.
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Huh?
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Bobby Hill, we want you to be
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a Powder Puff cheerleader with us.
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Here's your pom-poms.
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We got spirit,
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how about you?
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It's going to be a test of will and strength
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to have fake boobs and not be touching them all the time.
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I don't see what's funny about Powder Puff.
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The girls playing football,
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the football players in skirts cheering them on... eh.
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Maybe you're not getting the joke.
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We get to dress like girls and act like girls.
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It's funny.
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Hi, Bobby.
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I'm going to make you a roast.
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A roast.
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Cross-dressing's been done, Joseph.
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I know I had a prop comedy phase,
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but I've grown.
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I've been watching reruns of Seinfeld,
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and I'm impressed with the observational humor.
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That's where my comedy is now.
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Hill, two-man huddle. Let's go.
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Okay.
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I hear your jokes and bits and sketches are hilarious.
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They'd better be.
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I've got a losing football program
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and the only thing that's going to save my bacon
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is a good Powder Puff game.
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Yeah, but isn't Powder Puff about girls playing football?
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Nobody watches the girls.
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It's all about you boys and your tomfooligans.
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Mess this up and I'll be back teaching math to the slowpokes.
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Break!
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Have you seen this?
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Yeah, PTA having another fund-raiser.
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If you don't give them money
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they threaten you with volunteering job.
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Swipe credit card... avoid conflict.
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Oh, no, this time I'm calling their bluff.
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I'm going to go to one of those meeting and volunteer.
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Yeah, my time worth more than that.
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Well, mine is not.
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Isn't the word "carburetor" redundant
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since it already has the word "car" in it?
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Shouldn't they just be called "buretors"?
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Well, actually, Bill, the word comes...
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Hey, everybody, guess whose star athlete son
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has been selected for Powder Puff cheerleading?
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My son, Joseph Gribble was chosen!
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Dale, we were in the middle of an important conversation.
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Yeah, Dale, Hank doesn't want to talk about
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Powder Puff football.
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He wants to talk about buretors.
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Maybe we could just stand quietly.
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That's fine. I'll just carry on an internal dialogue.
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Yes!
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Is this the PTA meeting?
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I'm so glad I'm not late.
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Oh, but you are.
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We take our first break after 20 minutes.
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It gets pretty intense.
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People need a macaroon. I see.
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We avoid a lot of tears this way.
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But you should feel free to cry on my shoulder.
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Or any other body part you want.
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Excuse me, but aren't you?
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Yes, P.J. Pfinster. Hun Chin Ko's dad.
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Time.
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I now call this meeting back to order.
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I-I-I'd like to propose an allocation of funds
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to pay for more janitorial supplies.
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They've been cleaning with just water for a week.
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We finished new business before the break.
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Okay, but there's a stickiness issue.
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Carl, I left a high-powered law firm
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to spend time with my family
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and I'm giving up time with my familyto be here.
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If you want to talk stickiness,
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put your hand on the kitchen counter at my house.
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Well put.
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Excuse me. I'm new here.
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Peggy Hill.
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Now, those animal soap carvings the kids make in art class...
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what if we re-purposed those?
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Nobody likes them anyway.
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You know, normally I shun newcomers,
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but that kind of out-of-the-box thinking
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is going to get you on the PTA fast track.
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You get me.
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It'd just be a shame to throw it out.
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It's only 15 years old.
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Hey, Bobby.
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You're not going to believe what happened to me today.
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I got picked for Powder Puff cheerleading.
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Don't worry...
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I've got some great ideas about how to get out of it.
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They can't make me cheer if they think I have lockjaw.
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Huh? What do you think, Dad?
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I can't believe you got picked for Powder Puff.
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Well, that's an honor usually reserved
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for football players.
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This is great.
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What?!
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I'm so happy for you, Hank.
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And you too, Bobby.
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Good things don't usually happen to the unathletic.
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Bobby, I had given up hope of you ever making a team.
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But this is finally a chance
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to be part of time-honored football tradition.
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Uh-huh.
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So you want me to dress up like a girl
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and run around with pom-poms?
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Yes.
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Hey, remember when I gave birth to a football?
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Yeah, then we wrapped it in a baby blanket
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and kicked it through the goalposts.
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I understand you think it's great and all,
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but comedy is very subjective.
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And men in drag?
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Well, I'm sorry, Dad, but it just isn't my thing.
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It is now, Bobby, because you're going to be a cheerleader.
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Now let's go find you a dress.
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Bobby, you can't throw a rock at a Rotary Club meeting
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without hitting a former Powder Puff cheerleader.
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Tom Hutto, down at TripleA? Powder Puff,
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David McDavid at Wide TrackMotors? Powder Puff.
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Bob Decker-from Centex Escrow? Powder Puff.
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Great.
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Now, the kind of brassiere you choose as a cheerleader
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will determine your cheer personality.
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Are you the fun-loving buxom one or the flat-chested braniac?
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This one, I guess.
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Good choice.
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Now, let's get you made up.
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Hey, cheerleaders.
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That doesn't look like flouncing and bouncing to me.
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You're in over your head, Kleehammer.
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Hill!
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Comedy powwow, cherry picker, now.
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Hill, what do you think of all the boys
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blowing kisses to the crowd like a gaggle of beauty queens?!
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It's fine, I guess.
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All boys get in line and blow
kisses till your arms turn to jelly.
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Hill says it's funny!
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Coach, Coach...
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Not now, Beth.
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All right, pucker, smooch and blow.
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Kiss,
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kiss, kiss, kiss...
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Alexis, I've noticed
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that there are 41 PTA committees.
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I believe they can be condensed into a fewer number.
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My estimate is ten,
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but my guesstimate is six.
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Great thinking, Peggy.
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Sounds like a project
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for you, me and P.J. Yay!
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I'll call home and have Lima start the kids' homework.
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This might take a good long while.
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But I made a choice, I stand by it and I have no regrets.
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I hope one of you brought a sleeping bag big enough for two.
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Or more!
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Then we practiced popping each other's boob balloons.
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And then we practiced popping each other's butt balloons.
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You're doing balloon work already?
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Well, I'm sure Coach Kleehammer knows what he's doing.
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Do you know what would make your outfit perfect?
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My old striped tube-top.
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I am not wearing Mom's clothes.
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Look, Dad, this just isn't working for me.
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I hate it.
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Fine. If you can't see how important this is,
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then go ahead and quit.
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I'm free? This is great!
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Well, we'll see.
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When you're face-to-face with your teammates,
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it might not be so easy to quit.
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Are you kidding?
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I've quit more things than you've started.
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Gribble, you call that demure?
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I... I don't know what that means, sir.
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When I say bat your eyelashes, I mean bat them!
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Okay, now, watch.
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This is where Hill comes in.
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See, he's created a character.
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The exasperated... bobby-soxer... princess.
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Now, that's funny.
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Actually, guys,
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I've got something to tell you.
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Everybody, listen up.
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Hill's got something to tell us.
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Yeah, the thing is...
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He's continuing.
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I needed to tell you guys that...
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Anything.
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Anything at all you can say to help these boys?
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First of all, Curt...
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Your pantyhose should be darker and baggier.
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And Eric, you shouldn't wear pantyhose at all.
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You've got hairy legs in middle school...
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don't waste that.
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We're gonna need props.
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So, how'd they take it?
219
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Well, they took it pretty good,
220
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because I'm staying!
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I knew you couldn't let them down.
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Thanks for making me dress up like a girl, Dad.
223
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Uh, you know that after this is over,
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you can't do this anymore, right?
225
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Oh, I know.
226
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:03,811
Meeting adjourned.
227
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So, congratulations, Peggy.
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Your restructuring proposal passed with flying colors.
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Thank you.
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I'm just glad I got through my argument
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before all the whooping
232
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from the Powder Puff cheerleading practice started.
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What is going on out there exactly?
234
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Could you explain to me in detail?
235
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If I have to miss Circle Time at Kidnasium, so be it.
236
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Well,
237
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it's an annual football game,
238
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but the girls are the players
239
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:30,574
and the cheerleaders are the boys.
240
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They wear makeup and wigs and act silly.
241
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Boys are... making fun of girls?
242
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Yes. You know, my son, Bobby,
243
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is actually kind of the head cheerleader.
244
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Mm-hmm.
245
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He keeps knocking over lamps
246
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around the house with his big, clumsy boobs.
247
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That kind of mockery does untold damage
248
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to a young girl's fragile psyche.
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My daughter was hysterical recently
250
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,169
when an eighth grade boy told her
251
00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:56,536
her ponytail looked "like a piece of doody."
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Thank God, I was home to console her,
253
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which was my choice, stand by it, no regrets.
254
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Well, that's terrible.
255
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Have you tried putting her hair up in a bun?
256
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,013
No, no, that could look like poop, too.
257
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:09,280
See, it starts out innocently, with a boy teasing a girl.
258
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,049
Then that same boy dresses like a cheerleader.
259
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:14,284
Then little Mary Jo, honor student,
260
00:13:14,426 --> 00:13:16,894
is having her buttock slapped in a rap video.
261
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:19,589
That is the saddest hypothetical story
262
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I have ever heard.
263
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,359
But Powder Puff is all just in fun.
264
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:25,196
So was pouring pig's blood on Carrie.
265
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:26,496
Poor girl had to kill everyone.
266
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:31,203
I will not let that happen.
267
00:13:33,345 --> 00:13:35,074
Lima, I'll be home late.
268
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:36,908
I have another fire to put out.
269
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,308
Ready? Okay!
270
00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:46,391
I love that cheer.
271
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,322
But seriously, you have to stop.
272
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,690
What's going on down there?
273
00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:53,491
Boys, this here is the PTA president,
274
00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:56,226
and she's making me call off the cheerleading part of things.
275
00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:57,367
What?
276
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,367
That's not fair.
277
00:13:58,504 --> 00:13:59,436
But I'm so pretty.
278
00:13:59,638 --> 00:14:01,071
Why is this happening, Mom?
279
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,936
Sometimes things that are funny to everybody
280
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,010
are not really funny at all.
281
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,137
You can't take this away from us.
282
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:10,748
You just can't!
283
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,076
Sorry, boys.
284
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:24,422
I guess I won't be needing this anymore.
285
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,064
I guess not.
286
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:30,524
Hello, Peggy.
287
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,635
Hello, Hank.
288
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:33,203
Hello, Mom!
289
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,638
So, what else did you destroy today
290
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:38,777
besides Powder Puff Football?
291
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:41,276
Actually... class favorites.
292
00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,904
And technically the Powder Puff game is still going on.
293
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:46,415
Maybe the girls will play well for the first time ever,
294
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:47,950
since they won't have anyone on the sidelines
295
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:49,486
making fun of them.
296
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,749
Those boys weren't making fun of anyone.
297
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,792
They were just doing what Powder Puff cheerleaders do.
298
00:14:54,927 --> 00:14:57,987
Oh. So, you won't be offended if I stuff a sock in my jeans
299
00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:59,597
and strut around the neighborhood?
300
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,393
That would be hilarious!
301
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,829
Do it, Mom, do it!
302
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:04,629
No, I am not gonna do it.
303
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:06,668
A-And neither are you.
304
00:15:14,546 --> 00:15:15,774
Dang it, Carl.
305
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,381
These boys weren't hurting a soul
306
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:18,847
and you know it.
307
00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:20,542
You've got to do something about this.
308
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:22,586
If you're asking me to go up against the PTA,
309
00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:24,188
the answer is no.
310
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,450
I'm not walking into that buzz saw.
311
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:29,992
You can't just sit back and watch this great tradition die.
312
00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:35,523
All right, you didn't hear this from me,
313
00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:37,429
but PTA's a democracy, Hank.
314
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:38,535
You're a parent.
315
00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:39,863
You bring a motion to the floor
316
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:41,404
and you get the votes,
317
00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:43,063
you can bring the cheerleaders back.
318
00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:45,107
Democracyin action.
319
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:47,337
The answer was there all along.
320
00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:49,413
The beauty of it is, it's not on me.
321
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:51,412
Well, I gotta go to the geography classroom.
322
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:54,041
Some kid drew balls on Florida.
323
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,683
All those in favor?
324
00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:06,128
Motion to turn the air on is accepted.
325
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,027
That completes New Business.
326
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,294
Uh, wait. I have a motion I'd like to bring to the floor.
327
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:14,405
Reluctantly, the chair allows.
328
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,435
Powder Puff cheerleading
329
00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:23,741
has been a grand and often hilarious tradition
330
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:26,009
in Tom Landry Middle School athletics.
331
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,984
You'll notice how much fun all these kids are having.
332
00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:30,879
Ugh!
333
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,796
I don't see anyone who looks offended.
334
00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:41,296
Look, they're all having the time of their lives.
335
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:42,399
The time of their lives.
336
00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:45,361
What's really offensive
337
00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:47,505
is watching those girls play football.
338
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:50,539
Uh... you're really not helping, Coach.
339
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:53,041
In summation, Powder Puff cheerleading
340
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:55,806
is away for these boys to have some fun,
341
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:58,439
make people laugh and create friendships
342
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,415
that will last a lifetime.
343
00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:02,645
It's true.
344
00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:05,188
I think these men make a good point.
345
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:07,450
Maybe we should reconsider our stance on this.
346
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:08,855
I can't do that.
347
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,461
It would undermine my leadership.
348
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:12,154
I can't risk all this.
349
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,330
What's "all this?"
350
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:16,763
Staying here all night
351
00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:18,368
when we could be home with our families?
352
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:22,766
Peggy! Don't...
353
00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:26,005
You are interfering with procedure
354
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:28,340
and gavel-handling.
355
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,505
I support Mr. Hill's motion.
356
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:33,680
This isn't about ridicule.
357
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,083
It's about freedom of expression.
358
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,314
Girls should be able to play football,
359
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:41,893
and boys should be able to put on skirts and wigs
360
00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:43,619
and cheer their hearts out.
361
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,629
Gaymen should be able to come out of the closet
362
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:50,200
and be openly and unapologetically gay,
363
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:51,700
and working mothers
364
00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:53,599
should be able to go back to work
365
00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:54,704
if that is what
366
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,000
they really want.
367
00:17:57,142 --> 00:17:58,700
Who's gay in the PTA?!
368
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:00,471
Ooh, spicy!
369
00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:03,479
Ladies and gentlemen, parents and teachers,
370
00:18:03,615 --> 00:18:07,016
I move to reinstate the Powder Puff cheerleaders.
371
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,414
Is there a second?
372
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:09,485
I second.
373
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:10,383
Hey, hey, hey!
374
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,148
Sorry.
375
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:13,918
That's how we second a motion in the gun club.
376
00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:14,991
Show of hands.
377
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,560
All those in favor?
378
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:19,791
Opposed?
379
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:23,091
A tie.
380
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:25,236
Carl, you know how this works.
381
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:28,339
The principal's vote breaks any ties.
382
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:29,768
So, what's it gonna be?
383
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,319
Oh, oh, ohh...
384
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,047
Aw, Carl.
385
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:46,418
Sorry, Hank.
386
00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:49,254
Motion fails to pass.
387
00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:03,366
You know, if this was a movie,
388
00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,476
we'd get to be cheerleaders again...
389
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:08,044
and Kurt Russell would be my dad!
390
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:11,376
We're gonna find away to fight this.
391
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:14,281
I don't know about you, but my pantyhose
392
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:18,116
came three to a pack... and I plan on using all three.
393
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:24,393
Here!
394
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,498
Run!
395
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,966
Hey! This isn't my fault.
396
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:42,641
Blue 32. Blue 32. Hike! Run!
397
00:19:45,317 --> 00:19:49,185
Come on, guys, get it together!
398
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,456
Ready?
399
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:03,999
Okay!
400
00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:13,868
I said... Thank you, sweet Jesus.
401
00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:19,884
Look, Bobby's rallying his troops.
402
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:24,121
And, hey, he's starting a fake cat fight.
403
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:27,524
And Joseph's storming off.
404
00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:29,524
My son's a diva!
405
00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:30,457
You can't do this.
406
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:31,426
It's been banned.
407
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:32,928
What's been banned?
408
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,896
We're just fans of Powder Puff football
409
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,592
who happen to be cross-dressers!
410
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:40,863
Or does the PTA have some problem with cross-dressing?
411
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,597
No, no, of course not.
412
00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:45,140
Transvestite and transgender individuals are protected
413
00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:47,437
when participating in public activity.
414
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,410
Ohh!
415
00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:52,946
I'm having a contraction!
416
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:58,380
It's a bouncing babyball!
417
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:03,386
Shh. It's okay.
418
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:06,921
Look, Hank.
419
00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:08,793
Have you ever seen such a beautifully punted baby?
420
00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:11,092
Well, that sure does bring back memories.
421
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:56,572
But I'm so pretty.
422
00:21:57,305 --> 00:22:57,360
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