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Bored.
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Bored-er.
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Hey, dudes, pass me your frog lungs.
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Aunt Peggy,
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I just ate a watermelon seed!
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Oh, my God, what if it grows in the baby?
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I don't want a watermelon baby!
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Luanne, we had this discussion.
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We're gonna love that baby
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no matter how it comes out.
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So Bobby,
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what's new at school?
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Nothing.
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School is so boring.
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We need a fire alarm
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or a good class vomiting to mix things up.
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Too bad I'm not subbing there anymore.
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I was the fun teacher.
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Do the kids still talk
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about the day I brought in microwave popcorn?
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You guys should have a carnival
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like we did in middle school.
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I met Nancy at the kissing booth.
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Even with the taste of 200 boys on her lips,
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that kiss was magical.
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A carnival sounds great!
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Someone should propose that to the student council.
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Hey, I'm a someone!
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So,
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unless you want me to change my T-shirt
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to "Tom Landry Middle Does Not Rule,"
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you will give us a carnival.
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What did you think?
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Hmm.
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I don't feel that you looked me in the eye.
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And that makes me distrust you.
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I liked it.
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At first I wasn't gonna give you a carnival.
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Now I totally want to give you a carnival.
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But I don't have a carnival.
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Dad?
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The student council is full of number crunchers.
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You need to show them that the carnival will be equal parts fun
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and fiscal responsibility.
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I hear ya.
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Less sizzle, more steak.
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That's right.
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Now let's run it again.
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This time slower and with less passion.
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All those Baldwin boys must be jealous of Alec.
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He's clearly the winner.
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Uncle Hank,
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come quick!
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Mud Dabber made a Frisbee out of barbed wire
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and threw it to Lucky and now his hands are all cut up
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and he won't go to the hospital!
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Sorry, but I don't do hospitals.
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Everyone I know that's died
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has been shot in the woods
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and then taken to a hospital,
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where they died.
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No hospital.
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Don't worry, I'll get him there.
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Principal Moss,
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there's a Terrence Pope
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from the superintendent's office here to see you.
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I ran his school district I. D...
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he checks out.
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All right, send him in.
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What can I do for you, Mr. Pope?
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It's Dr. Pope, but I'm not hung up on formalities.
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According to our most recent survey,
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Tom Landry has reached 42% diversity.
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Diverse is good, right?
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Mm, all those cultures mixing together is wonderful.
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Wonderful, that is,
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if they don't start tearing each other to shreds.
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What?
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We don't have any problems like that here.
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Sure, every once in awhile a nerd gets tossed around,
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but no one means nothing by it.
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Look, the superintendent sent me in to perform a series
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of tolerance exercises to try and keep a lid on things.
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If you don't do it, you'll lose your funding.
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'Course we'll do it!
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As you can see, there is absolutely
no reason not to have a carnival.
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I mean, there's gotta be some extra money lying around.
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But I don't want to touch my discretionary fund.
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I've built up the largest discretionary fund
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in the history of the student council.
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And that, my friend, is my legacy!
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I say we put it to a vote.
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Who wants a carnival?
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Fine, have your carnival.
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But it'd better be great, or I will not take credit for it.
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Did you really do it, Bobby?
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I heard a rumor you got us a carnival,
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and that the new girl is really 22 and a cop.
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That's right, the carnival's on!
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I guess I'm gonna need a committee
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to get this thing off the ground.
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Who's in?
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Yeah. All right.
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Got here just in time.
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Is it really that bad? Worse.
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I want to be in charge of bumper cars.
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No, dude,
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bumper cars are my thing!
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Look at those children...
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a powder keg of diversity.
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I'll start with them.
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Oh, look at my two boss men.
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I'm gonna make more bacon.
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Well, Bobby, you got your first
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carnival committee meeting today.
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How you feeling?
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Big day, big day.
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I decided to wear my extra long short pants.
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I think they command more respect.
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Good call. So have you thought about
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what kind of boss you're gonna be?
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There's different kinds?
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Well, sure.
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There's the cool boss who wants to be everybody's pal.
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He ends up with lots of friends,
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which is nice for when he gets fired
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for not getting the job done.
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Ugh, I hate working for buddy bosses.
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People walk all over them.
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And I am the worst.
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And there's also the tough, no-nonsense boss.
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The name pretty much says it all.
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Which kind do you think I should be?
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Well, it's kind of obvious.
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Gotcha.
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Welcome, carnival committee.
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You know, there's two kinds of bosses.
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And lucky for you, I'm gonna be the fun kind.
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So, if it's totally right-on with everyone,
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let's talk about theme.
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Let's talk about decorations instead.
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Okay, that's cool.
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No bad ideas.
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The theme informs the decorations, dude.
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Yeah, but decorations are way sexier.
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That is mad stupid!
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Ugh!
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You're so inside the box.
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PRINCIPAL Kids, listen up.
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This here's Dr. Terrence Pope.
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District sent him to help us get along better.
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I couldn't help but overhear your little disagreement.
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I've got a great
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technique for problem-solving.
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Who's up for it?
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Perfect.
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Those of you who want to discuss themes...
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what if I said you could either work with the others
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to find a compromise
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or send them on a vacation?
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I say we send them on vacation.
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Yeah, that way, they get to have a nice trip,
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and we can go back to working on the carnival.
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Classic win-win.
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Well done.
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You worked together to reach a decision.
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Sadly,
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it's the same decision all too many people reach
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when one group disagrees with another.
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This "vacation" you sent these students on
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goes by many names...
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exile, internment, gulag, death camp.
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Congratulations.
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You've just ethnically cleansed half your class.
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Lucky,
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I am taking you to the hospital!
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Come on, Lucky.
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We're doing this for your own good.
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What's going on?
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I... I can't get a grip.
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He keeps slipping away.
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He's like happiness!
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Aah! This is Vaseline.
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No hospital!
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Aah, dang it!
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We'll never catch him.
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And he'll never rash.
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Genius.
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I didn't appreciate getting ethnically cleansed, Connie.
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I didn't mean to kill you.
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I really thought I was sending you on vacation.
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Oh, listen to you. I don't get it.
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Come on, everybody.
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Bobby, why isn't anybody working?
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Uh...
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I went out on a limb for you, Hill.
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You'd better not screw this up.
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I also control the yearbook.
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And when you control the yearbook, you control history.
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Come on, guys, let's focus!
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And so it begins.
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Everybody pull up a chair.
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I think we need some dialoging.
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Now pull up.
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00:09:03,442 --> 00:09:04,966
We're gonna do a little exercise
207
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:07,442
to help you put things in perspective.
208
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Some of you will have to wear stars
209
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on your person at all times.
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I'm a policeman.
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Ugh, I'm getting too old for this crap.
212
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,489
Look at me, I'm a Star-Belly Sneetch!
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00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:23,458
No, you shouldn't be happy to have a star.
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00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,995
Astar means you've been singled out, labeled,
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like the Jews in Nazi Germany.
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So, if we have stars, we're Jews?
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Exactly.
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And we should be sad to be Jews?
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Yes...
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well, no, it's complicated.
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I mean, my point is, during the Holocaust,
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Jews weren't allowed to go to school,
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their property was taken away, they had to live in prisons.
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I don't want to be a Jew!
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All right, forget the stars.
226
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Get rid of the stars.
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We're moving on. New exercise.
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This side of the room will be circles,
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and this side will be squares.
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Circles have absolute freedom...
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they can do
232
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whatever they want...
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but squares have no freedom,
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no rights
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and must do whatever the circles tell them.
236
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Begin.
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I said begin.
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Uh, square dude,
239
00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:20,685
I command you to bark like a donkey.
240
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But donkeys don't...
241
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Do it, Square!
242
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And you,
243
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you stupid square,
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sing beautiful songs about me.
245
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I do.
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Okay, people,
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I tried being the cool boss and that didn't work,
248
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so here comes that tough boss.
249
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I'm a circle, and I order you to go back to work.
250
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That was an impressive display of leadership.
251
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I bet you enjoyed ordering people around like that.
252
00:11:06,532 --> 00:11:08,022
Well, I had to.
253
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,431
I've got a carnival to organize.
254
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And my dad says, "The boss has to be tough sometimes
255
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to get the job done."
256
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:17,135
Your dad gets the job done,
257
00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:20,404
and his dad probably got the job done.
258
00:11:20,579 --> 00:11:22,979
Throughout history, getting the job done
259
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has meant everything from persecution to genocide.
260
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What? My dad hasn't done any of those things.
261
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:33,253
I mean, my Grandpa Cotton maybe a little, but...
262
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You enjoyed the power of being a boss,
263
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of being a privileged circle
264
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:38,625
that could order around a square.
265
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:40,322
You see,
266
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circles and squares are just symbols.
267
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A circle could be anything.
268
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:48,039
You, Circle, what is your heritage?
269
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,139
Dutch.
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The Dutch!
271
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:53,745
Windmills, wooden shoes, apartheid.
272
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There are no clean hands in history.
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Homework, I want each of you to research your heritage.
274
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,712
See what you have done.
275
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,185
You'll be able to fill a book.
276
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:14,664
Mom, I'm doing some homework on my ancestors.
277
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,563
What is our heritage?
278
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:17,599
I forget.
279
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:19,293
Well, let's see.
280
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,440
We're English and Irish.
281
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,575
And I think your great-grand father was German...
282
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:27,304
Stop. Just stop.
283
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,572
Hey there, Bobby.
284
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:30,238
I'd ask you how your day was,
285
00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:32,509
but since you're the boss, I already know:
286
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,516
Difficult and rewarding.
287
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:36,655
Things are not good, Dad.
288
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:39,189
I tried to be the cool boss and it didn't work.
289
00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:40,848
Of course it didn't.
290
00:12:41,026 --> 00:12:43,551
So I switched to being the tough boss.
291
00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:45,890
I yelled and everybody got to work.
292
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:50,431
But then I was called a horrible oppressor.
293
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:52,160
Look, Bobby, you're the boss.
294
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:55,068
You have to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
295
00:12:56,942 --> 00:13:00,537
Ugh, that's what Dr. Pope said you would say.
296
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:06,876
This should be the most exciting day of my life,
297
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:08,679
but I can't be happy.
298
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,721
The weight of my ancestors
299
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:13,290
is pushing down right here.
300
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:16,923
How do you think I feel? As a white man,
301
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:19,064
I've killed a little bit of everybody.
302
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,194
That's all your stuff except for the goat.
303
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:27,032
She fell off the truck, but I saw her walking this way.
304
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:28,639
She'll get here.
305
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:35,171
Look at that snow cone machine.
306
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:37,338
First we take the Eskimos' land,
307
00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:39,575
and now we're gonna eat it.
308
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,353
Bobby, at your age, you shouldn't be feeling
309
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,549
this level of guilt, doubt and self-loathing.
310
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:49,956
And yet you are.
311
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:51,027
I'm proud of you.
312
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:52,129
Really?
313
00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:54,027
I'm proud of all of you.
314
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:58,035
Wouldn't it be great if every student
315
00:13:58,204 --> 00:13:59,933
felt the same way you all do?
316
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,299
Yeah, I wish we could tape their eyes open
317
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,305
and shove their faces into the truth.
318
00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:07,707
Wait, why can't we?
319
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,314
I can get through to them.
320
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,109
Kids love me.
321
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:13,218
Though they don't know everything I'm guilty of.
322
00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:14,943
You've got something there, Bobby.
323
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,418
Tomorrow you'll have everyone at your disposal.
324
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,182
Instead of your carnival,
325
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:22,692
we can gather the students for an assembly of learning.
326
00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:27,729
The carnival is off, people.
327
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,697
Let the healing begin!
328
00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:39,610
Well, tomorrow is Bobby's big day at the carnival.
329
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,302
I'm gonna be busy with that,
330
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,540
so you guys are in charge of finding Lucky
331
00:14:43,682 --> 00:14:44,910
and getting him to the hospital.
332
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,950
Yup. Yup.
333
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:49,646
Dang ol' the hunt is on.
334
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:52,848
Hey, Dad, do we have any 3x5 cards?
335
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:54,584
I'm delivering a speech tomorrow,
336
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,422
and I don't want to leave anything out.
337
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,292
You know, I find that writing in all caps
338
00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:00,762
puts me more at ease.
339
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,491
The4x6s are on my desk.
340
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:03,692
Great.
341
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:05,860
Have a socially relevant day!
342
00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:07,505
Thanks. I will!
343
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:22,051
I remember when I was like them.
344
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,586
So misguidedly happy.
345
00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:26,623
Ooh, the superintendent just got here.
346
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,021
If this goes well,
347
00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:29,490
I'll be running programs like this
348
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:31,061
all over the state.
349
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:34,063
Full-time gig with health coverage and benefits.
350
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:37,735
Well, it looks as if
351
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,838
all of Arlen is here for the carnival.
352
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:44,441
You know, we're not as handsome a group as I thought.
353
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,804
Oh, here comes Bobby.
354
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,413
Welcome, everyone.
355
00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:59,752
Before I begin, I want you to know I will not kill you,
356
00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:02,359
or bring you famine or give you smallpox.
357
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:07,427
Oh, he's serious.
358
00:16:07,599 --> 00:16:10,397
I know you were all expecting a carnival,
359
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:13,662
but millions of people were expecting to not be genocided
360
00:16:13,872 --> 00:16:15,772
by our forefathers.
361
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:19,607
So, instead of a carnival,
362
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:23,340
we're gonna take some responsibility!
363
00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:25,949
What in the heck is he talking about?
364
00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:28,109
No carnival? How could Bobby do this?!
365
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,754
You thought your son not popular before?
366
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,948
Peggy Hill, get ready to be his prom date.
367
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:36,118
I can't believe Bobby did this to us!
368
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:37,887
I haven't done this since elementary school,
369
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:40,396
but as God is my witness, I swear I'm going to bite him!
370
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:44,592
My substitute sense is tingling.
371
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,670
This crowd is about to attack.
372
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:48,363
Bobby and Connie gonna get ass kicked.
373
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:49,734
We need a diversion.
374
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:51,899
Tell kids SpongeBob in front of school.
375
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:53,339
...a violent act...
376
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,446
I don't know what kids like.
377
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:58,573
...has been passed down from generation to generation.
378
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:01,219
First, my ancestors made...
379
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,412
I have a different idea. Let's go.
380
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:05,614
...our railroad, and now I'm...
381
00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:15,858
Okay, man, come on, let's go dang ol' do it, man.
382
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:22,131
No hospital.
383
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:26,504
Now you can come quietly or we'll wait until you pass out.
384
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:31,913
Your call.
385
00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:33,244
Guilty.
386
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:34,545
Guilty.
387
00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:35,710
Boo!
388
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:36,786
You're guilty of sucking!
389
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:42,387
Dr. Pope, is it normal for self-loathing to be so loud?
390
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:44,587
I don't think they're getting it.
391
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,493
Well, we picked the scab and opened the wound.
392
00:17:46,665 --> 00:17:48,656
That's usually as far as I get.
393
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,496
I'm sure they'll start reflecting any minute now.
394
00:17:50,769 --> 00:17:52,964
All right, Pope, what the hell is going on here?
395
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:54,603
Oh, Superintendent, I can explain.
396
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,740
See, Bobby Hill, right here,
397
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:59,002
wanted to try and bring the students together.
398
00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:00,736
How?! By causing a riot?!
399
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,288
I just set up the House of Mirrors.
400
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,764
Hank Hill, you are a lucky man.
401
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:25,027
Great, let's keep it moving.
402
00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:27,138
Here they come.
403
00:18:33,912 --> 00:18:36,779
Dad, what are you doing?!
404
00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:40,078
Trying to give these kids the carnival that you promised them.
405
00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:43,119
I also promised to make the kids see all the misery
406
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,915
we're responsible for, you know...
407
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:48,116
the slave trade, potato famine...
408
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,887
I'm supposed to be opening the wound so that it can heal.
409
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:52,724
That is ridiculous.
410
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:55,162
If a wound is closed, it's already healing.
411
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:56,323
Yeah,
412
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:58,936
well, I... I guess.
413
00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:01,071
Bobby, you're 13 years old.
414
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,367
You didn't have anything to do with any of that stuff.
415
00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,203
Oh, thank God.
416
00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:07,278
The only thing you're responsible for
417
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:09,311
is not delivering this carnival.
418
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:13,315
But what about the hate, Dad? The simmering hate?
419
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:16,147
If you want to learn about hate, just look over there.
420
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,185
What do I do?
421
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,658
Well, you're the boss. You tell me.
422
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:27,191
Bobby, what should we do?
423
00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:28,424
There's nobody in there.
424
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:29,532
Do we keep talking?
425
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:32,704
No.
426
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:34,065
Enough talking!
427
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:37,436
The carnival's back on, everybody!
428
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:39,510
But we've got a lot of work to do.
429
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,543
Joseph, fill up the dunk tank.
430
00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:42,543
With water?
431
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:43,908
Yes.
432
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:46,016
Clark, you get on the helium balloons.
433
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,880
The rest of you, come with me.
434
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,989
We've got hot dogs to reheat and a goat to wrangle.
435
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,452
Let's go!
436
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:21,583
Look at all these diverse kids working together.
437
00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:23,744
I don't know what the hell was going on in there,
438
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,550
but this is great.
439
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:28,421
Uh, most exercises need some adjustments.
440
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:29,993
Well, next time just do the carnival.
441
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:31,356
I feel the same way.
442
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:32,963
Hi. Dawn Thistle,
443
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:34,622
student council president and carnival chairman.
444
00:20:34,766 --> 00:20:36,996
So what do you think? Pretty great, right?
445
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,660
Everyone did such a fantastic job implementing my ideas.
446
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:41,896
Uh, this was your carnival?
447
00:20:42,107 --> 00:20:43,199
It's one of my many projects.
448
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:44,433
Listen, while I have your ear,
449
00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:45,975
I think I'd make a great addition
450
00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:47,577
to the Peers Against Pressure Teen Task Force.
451
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:49,475
Let's walk and talk.
452
00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:51,947
It-it's hard to say whose idea the carnival really was.
453
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,746
Ideas were ping-ponging all over the room!
454
00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:56,319
Bobby, this is your carnival.
455
00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:57,945
Don't you want credit for it?
456
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,387
I don't need credit, Dad.
457
00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:01,219
I'm the boss.
458
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,021
It's all about results.
459
00:21:03,161 --> 00:21:05,186
It sure is.
460
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:06,592
Yup.
461
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,324
Yep.
462
00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:53,774
Have a socially relevant day!
463
00:21:54,305 --> 00:22:54,604
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