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We got the lead, Uncle Hank.
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We got the lead!
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Oh, no.
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Bobby's on deck.
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Bobby...
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honey, you forgot your bat!
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Bobby!
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Practice swings!
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Stand up and swing the bat!
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Well, we could get lucky, Hank.
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It's gonna pour any minute now.
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Okay, it's the bottom of the fifth,
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so it's an official game.
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If it starts to rain before Bobby's at bat,
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they'll end the game and Bobby'll get a "W"
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without embarrassing himself.
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Dang ol' batter up, man.
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Dang it, Bobby, you're right-handed!
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Talkin' 'bout that's the dang ol' game.
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Yes! That's it!
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Why'd I have to miss my at-bat?
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After the third strike,
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I was gonna walk like an Egyptian
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back to the dugout.
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Yep, I'm real sorry I missed that.
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What in the heck?
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Oh, my God, we've been robbed!
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My treasures!
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Oh, Ladybird, thank God you're okay.
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Oh, no, Hank,
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they took the vase that your mom made for us.
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Oh, no, it's still here.
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Oh, but it's broken.
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Sure.
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When Hank calls the police they come right over,
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but when I do, they say it's not their job to keep me company.
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I feel violated.
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I had over $200 of surveillance equipment hidden in that house.
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I hope it didn't get stolen.
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Those burglars must've been so disappointed
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when they got inside.
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I'm just glad they didn't rob us.
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I'm just saying what everyone's thinking.
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Well, there's no sign of forced entry,
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and from what you're telling us,
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nothing is missing and something was found.
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Yep.
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I'd been looking for that remote for days.
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Most people think
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that it's the person you'd least expect.
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But we usually find
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it's the person you'd... most expect.
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Well, I don't know anyone
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who would want to do something like this.
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Really?
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Because the perpetrator usually tends
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to be the shadiest-looking guy in the room.
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In this room.
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Now.
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So, Officer,
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are you gonna find the perpetrator?
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I'm sorry, son.
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This isn't the movies.
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Where am I supposed to hide my valuables?
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See, this is why we need a spinning bookcase.
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Peggy, I know this was upsetting
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but I think Ladybird's all the security we need.
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Hank, Ladybird let the guy ransack the place.
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If I were her,
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I would've given him one warning bark
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and then bit him right in the windpipe.
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What the heck are you guys doing here?
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We're too scared to sleep at our house, Uncle Hank.
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I just want to live in a world
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where Santa can get in your house but thieves cannot.
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The cat burglar
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inside me can appreciate a job well done,
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but the 'fraidy cat inside me says run like hell.
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See, I got two cats inside me.
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Okay, fine. You can both sleep
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in the den.
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Sleep.
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Hank!
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Someone's in the house.
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Wait... I'm coming, too.
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A butcher's knife?
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All right.
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Uncle Hank, I'm scared!
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I got the gun safe!
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Ladybird's got him!
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Ladybird!
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Ladybird?
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There better be a criminal in that cushion.
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Wow, she hates that couch.
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I can't believe
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it was Ladybird who messed up the house all along.
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I guess after ten years of not being allowed on the couch,
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she finally snapped.
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I don't understand
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what would make Ladybird do something like this.
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Poor thing.
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I need to spend more time with her.
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Maybe I've been so caught up with work,
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I've forgotten what really matters.
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Hank, all I know is,
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if you had come in to find me chewing up the couch,
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you would not be nearly so forgiving.
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You sniff that poop, Ladybird.
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Sniff to your heart's content.
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Gotta take care of some business, huh?
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Well, knock yourself out.
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It's okay, Ladybird.
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Just a little thunder.
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Ow!
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Ladybird!
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Yeah, my dog's never done
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anything like this before.
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Maybe it's got something to do
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with all the thunderstorms.
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Maybe.
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Dogs are very unpredictable.
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You never know what they're going to do.
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Now, what's the name of your dog?
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Ladybird.
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Ladybird Hill.
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Why does that matter?
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Oh, I'm required bylaw
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to report Ladybird to the authorities.
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They'll be putting her on the "vicious dog" list.
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The vicious dog list?!
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But, that's a... it's a list of vicious dogs.
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It's just a formality.
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Unless Ladybird were to bite anyone else.
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Then the state can take her away.
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Take her away?!
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Oh, I'm sorry about the euphemism.
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I'm not a veterinarian.
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I'm used to talking about people.
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Of course, I mean kill her.
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Kill her?!
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Hmm, I don't know how to be any clearer than that, Mr. Hill.
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And then he put Ladybird
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on the vicious dog list.
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Ladybird!
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Hank, I too am on more lists than I'd care to be.
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Lists at the CIA, the FBI, L.L. Bean...
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Ladybird's such a nice dog, too.
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She's always licking my face
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even when all the crumbs are gone.
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She's a great dog.
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And does she look vicious to you?
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Huh? Huh?
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This is ridiculous!
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There is no got dang way
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I'm lettin' her stay on that list.
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You know, if Ladybird does bite again,
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you could just blame Peggy!
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They'd haul her away!
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Then we'd all be rid of her.
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Well, I wish I could help you, Hank.
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But, uh, once a dog gets put on the vicious dog list,
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well, it's dang near impossible to get 'em off.
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But Ladybird shouldn't be on that list.
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You know her.
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You know she's not vicious.
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But she's old now; her faculties are failing.
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You don't know what's gonna set her off!
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It could be thunder or other loud noises,
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and there's no telling what she could do.
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Now, although you can't reverse the aging process,
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you can try to change a dog's behavior.
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You've heard of the Dog Whisperer, right?
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Yes.
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Well, here's the number of a guy people call
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when they can't get on his show.
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Are you telling me
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to go to a dog spiritualist?
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Look, Hank,
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I don't claim to know what mysteries the universe holds.
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But this guy does.
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You know? I think he maybe your last hope.
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Oh, God.
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Sorry I'm late.
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I'm just very important.
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So, you are Ladybird's human.
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You are like that Dog Whisperer on the TV.
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The Dog Whisperer?
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Please.
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That talent-less show-off.
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Okay, well, Ladybird here's got a problem
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with thunder and loud noises.
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If we don't fix it, animal control is gonna take her away.
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Otherwise, I would never agree
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to talk to a person such as yourself.
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I see.
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So, during these thunderstorms, does she bark like...
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Or more like a...
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I'm gonna stand up and leave now.
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Mr. Hill, do you want to save your dog or not?
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Okay.
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We'll do whatever it takes.
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Good.
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Now, Ladybird,
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I need to visit you
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in your natural environment.
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And this is why...
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Now, walk your dog.
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No, no, no, no, no!
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You must be the leader!
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Some hacks refer to this as being the "alpha dog."
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I call it being the "packleader dog."
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Much fresher.
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Much fresher.
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Posture.
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Posture!
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Walk as though you have an invisible top hat.
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You want me to... what now?!
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Top hat!
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Now, I've never seen Hank pretend before.
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I don't like it.
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Hey, Hank, if you're gonna wear an invisible top hat,
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I'd carry an invisible bat for protection.
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Would you guys shut up?
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I'm trying to save my dog.
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Who's a good boy listening to his trainer like that?
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Is it you, Hank?
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Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
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She does not have respect for you.
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Try carrying an invisible walking stick.
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You know, all Hank needs is an invisible monocle
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and he'd look like Mr. Peanut.
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I've got nothing against good posture,
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but what's that got to do with making Ladybird better?
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I feel so stupid.
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Oh, Hank, so, you love Ladybird,
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and you're willing to do anything to keep her.
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Does that make you stupid?
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No.
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Yes, it does, but it's okay.
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Love makes people stupid.
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And I cannot help but be moved
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by how stupid you are being right now.
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Okay, Hank.
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Tell Ladybird to sit.
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Ladybird, sit.
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Oh, sorry.
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I have bacon in my pocket.
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Try again.
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Ladybird, sit.
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This isn't working!
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I have blamed the owner,
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humiliated the owner...
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I must free-brain this conundrum.
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She's searching.
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She's on a path of self-discovery.
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Ah, of course, I see!
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Ladybird is a pack animal in search of her pack.
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We must take her to her own kind.
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Are you sure she's not just looking at some throw-up?
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To the pack!
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This is the pack?!
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They're a bunch of old people.
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I will explain to you as I explain to everybody.
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Hello!
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This is Ladybird.
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I believe you will benefit from each other's company.
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You beautiful creatures have so much in common.
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She is old.
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You are old.
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She'll die soon.
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You'll die soon.
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It's perfect, really.
274
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,936
Oh, what a nice doggie.
275
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,901
See?
276
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:30,739
I hope this is gonna be okay.
277
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,741
I don't feel right about this.
278
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:38,077
Look how happy she looks.
279
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,343
So, what are you in for?
280
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:41,747
Well, I'm old.
281
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,855
I only have a few months to live.
282
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:45,581
That's great!
283
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,658
I'm having a baby in a few months.
284
00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:49,385
And Lucky and I have been talking a lot
285
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,120
about reincarnation.
286
00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:52,787
Maybe when you die,
287
00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:55,525
you could come back as my baby!
288
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,602
Okay.
289
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:03,334
Dad, if Ladybird likes hard candy
290
00:14:03,475 --> 00:14:06,376
and Wild Turkey, I've got the room for her.
291
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,173
Come on, sweetie.
292
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:10,282
Let's go for a walk around the building.
293
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:14,215
Wow, maybe this nutjob
294
00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:15,853
actually knows what he's doing.
295
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:17,955
Yeah, maybe this nutjob
296
00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:19,784
actually knows what he's doing.
297
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,449
Is this such a good idea?
298
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,925
What if Ladybird bites somebody?
299
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:25,587
Old people are always dying
300
00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:27,288
over the stupidest little things.
301
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,798
Mm, that's why we want
302
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,333
to keep this initial visit brief.
303
00:14:30,469 --> 00:14:31,959
If we overwhelm the dog,
304
00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:33,968
she might snap like she's never snapped before.
305
00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:36,369
Huh. Uh, you know, that might have been
306
00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:39,204
something to mention before we came in here.
307
00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:41,609
Ah, boy, are my knees achy.
308
00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:43,715
Not as bad as my joints.
309
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,714
Must be rain coming.
310
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,547
Rain? Feels like it'll be a doozy, too.
311
00:14:48,754 --> 00:14:51,279
It's a hard rain gonna fall.
312
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,719
Remember Bob Dylan?
313
00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:53,790
Jewish fella.
314
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:58,854
...and the lion and the chimp are still best friends.
315
00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:00,464
Now here's Kirk with the weather.
316
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,998
Hey, Kirk, am I taking
317
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,566
an umbrella to the big game?
318
00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:05,431
It's a domed stadium, does it really matter?
319
00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:07,831
Oh, come on.
320
00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:09,304
Ah, but seriously.
321
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:10,806
If you have to go outside,
322
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:12,877
Don't.
323
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:14,741
'Cause there's gonna be some major
324
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:19,908
thunderstorm activity here, here, here and here.
325
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,575
No! Heck,
326
00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:24,051
if you can see this, you might as well stay inside,
327
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,383
'cause folks, it's gonna be a big one.
328
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:27,786
Oh, God!
329
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,622
Was it thunderstorms
330
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,060
or gunfire that sent Ladybird into such a frenzy?
331
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,027
Thunderstorms.
332
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:37,799
W-Where's my dog?
333
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,427
Where's Ladybird?!
334
00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:42,472
Is that what used to be on the end of this?
335
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,317
Peggy, we've got a real problem!
336
00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:01,253
It's thundering outside and Ladybird's on the loose!
337
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:03,155
Oh, my goodness. Okay.
338
00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:05,192
Everybody, be calm.
339
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:06,329
We are calm.
340
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:07,930
Well, you shouldn't be.
341
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,067
There's a vicious dog on the loose! Peggy!
342
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,361
I'm sorry, it just slipped out.
343
00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:14,037
Now, when you're born,
344
00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:15,672
and the doctor slaps you,
345
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:22,008
And that way, I know it's you.
346
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,409
Okay.
347
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,675
Mom, Dad, what's going on?
348
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:28,647
Come on, we need to find Ladybird.
349
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:29,911
It's okay, everyone.
350
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,952
I called animal control.
351
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:32,987
Help is on the way.
352
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:34,419
No! They'll kill her!
353
00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:38,620
Ep, ep! You stay right here.
354
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,026
The alpha... I mean, packleader...
355
00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:42,756
doesn't seek out his followers.
356
00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:44,663
His followers come to him.
357
00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:46,393
I'm done listening to you
358
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:48,128
and your psychobabble crap.
359
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,808
Now get out of my way or my packleader foot
360
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,238
is gonna kick your ass.
361
00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,076
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
362
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:57,441
Ladybird! Here, Ladybird!
363
00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:58,911
Come on, girl.
364
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:14,489
Dang it, we've got to hurry!
365
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:20,197
Well, who do we have here?
366
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:22,704
Aren't you the cutest thing?
367
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:25,432
Mom, Dad, there's no time!
368
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:26,474
Don't look back!
369
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:27,644
Just go!
370
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,407
Wanna play with my teeth?
371
00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:35,008
I changed my mind!
372
00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:36,413
Come back!
373
00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:39,122
At first, he was a ,
374
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:40,950
but when I was through working with him,
375
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,685
he was a
376
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,693
You know, you remind me
377
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,832
of a German Shepard I used to have.
378
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,659
Would you mind if I petted you?
379
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,427
Uh... go ahead.
380
00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:57,901
Ladybird! Ladybird!
381
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,178
I saw the dog!
382
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,213
She went in there!
383
00:18:44,723 --> 00:18:45,815
Ladybird! Stop!
384
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:48,751
Ladybird!
385
00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:57,390
Good girl.
386
00:18:57,836 --> 00:18:59,326
Move! Move! Move!
387
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,867
I've got a clear shot at her!
388
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:05,440
You sure? Because I'm pretty good with this thing.
389
00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:06,905
No! Stop!
390
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,444
Does this look like a vicious dog to you?
391
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:11,308
I don't know.
392
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:12,642
Maybe?
393
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:15,079
Aren't you sweet?
394
00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:21,257
No, this dog wouldn't harm anyone.
395
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:22,893
Look at her.
396
00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:26,925
I'm still pretty amped up.
397
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,157
You wanna go somewhere and talk about this?
398
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:33,795
Come on, Ladybird. Let's go.
399
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:40,973
Come on, girl.
400
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,678
Oh, dang it, Ladybird,
401
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:46,918
don't make me walk with a top hat.
402
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,464
Oh, my God.
403
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,466
You're deaf.
404
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,408
I thought she might be faking.
405
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:13,134
Now, I need to ask you a favor.
406
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,846
Could you please have my eyes?
407
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,539
Lucky's don't always line up exactly right.
408
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,979
Everybody, I have great news.
409
00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:23,687
Loud noises will never upset Ladybird again.
410
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:25,219
She's gone deaf.
411
00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:27,789
See, Hank?
412
00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:29,994
I told you I could save that dog.
413
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,220
How in the heck are you gonna take credit
414
00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:34,091
for my dog going deaf?
415
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,665
Eh, probably with an exclusive in Dog Fancy magazine.
416
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:40,805
Come on. Let's go home.
417
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:43,338
Wait. Where's Bobby?
418
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:46,476
Your daughter does sound nice, Doris,
419
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:49,875
but 57 might be a little old for me.
420
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,679
You know, it's kind of sad.
421
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,514
Ladybird used to love watching football with me.
422
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,690
Now she can't even hear the announcers.
423
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,621
Well, we could put on the closed captioning for her.
424
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:04,089
She's a dog, Bill.
425
00:21:04,329 --> 00:21:05,796
She can't read.
426
00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:10,763
Hey, change the channel. She hates this commercial.
427
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:13,699
And that brings up fourth and long.
428
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,338
The punting unit's coming out...
429
00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:55,104
Maybe this nut job actually knows what he's doing.
430
00:21:56,305 --> 00:22:56,299
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