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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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Oh, Luanne, this is the best half-birthday ever.
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Wait.
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It's not even your real birthday?
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My people die young, Uncle Hank.
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I gotta get in all the celebrating I can.
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You guys gonna love this place.
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It's down home.
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Yes, since you gentlemen came all the way
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from New York to discuss business,
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I thought you might enjoy some authentic Texas barbecue.
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Yeah, we figure you come to the zoo,
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you want to see the animals.
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Hush puppies,
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double shortenin' biscuits, batterfries...
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Not exactly health food.
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Yeah, do they fry everything down here?
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Wait.
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I don't see a "no transfat" sticker on this menu.
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Do you people actually still use transfats?
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Most cosmopolitan cities in America
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have banned those.
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Even Philadelphia.
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Yeah, I bet they still have an operator.
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"Hello, I'd like to place a call
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to Hillbilly 77803."
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This is Nancy Hicks-Gribble.
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Is Arlen too fat?
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Local civic leader Ted Wassonasong thinks so,
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and this tastefully-cropped video
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is a shockingwake-up call.
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That is why I am bringing a bill to the city council
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to ban the sale of food cooked in transfat.
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What?
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This is outrageous!
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What's a trans fat?
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It's what people put in food to make it delicious.
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But I love delicious food.
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Dad, you have to stop them.
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Oh, I intend to.
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Don't worry, Bobby.
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We will eat potato chip chicken again.
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New York, Philadelphia,
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Los Angeles, Arlen.
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What do these cities have in common?
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Right now, nothing.
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But they could share
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a future free from diabetes, obesity, and heart disease.
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It is just this easy.
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Ah. Yeah.
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Uh, excuse me.
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Hank Hill.
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We know who you are.
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The last thing Arlen needs is a food ban.
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Are you saying you are for childhood obesity?
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No, of course not.
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I'll have you know my son is obese!
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Calm down.
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I'm not saying transfats are good for you,
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but banning them isn't gonna solve all those problems.
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Tell that
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to that guy's poor, pathetic fat kid!
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The government should not be deciding
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what we have the right to eat.
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Besides, all sorts of foods can make you sick.
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Rare burgers, raw oysters.
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If you ban transfats, you might as well ban that stuff, too.
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Fantastic idea.
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Let's ban raw oysters and rare burgers, too.
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No, no, that's not what I'm trying to...
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All in favor...
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Aye!
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Super.
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This food ban is asinine!
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I wish the government would just ban itself.
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Wrap your head around that, fellas.
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I'm just glad the government is keeping me safe.
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Now, I can snack my way to a healthier me.
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Delicious.
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And no trans fats.
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Bill, we've been down this road before.
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Sugar-free!
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Light beer!
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40/30/30!
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You don't have to worry about me anymore, Hank.
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The government is doing that now.
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Welp, they did it!
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They killed Sugarfoot's. What?!
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Those food bans put us right out of business.
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Turns out those transfats were in every thing we served,
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even the mints.
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You can't close Sugarfoot's.
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It's an Arlen institution.
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Where are we gonna celebrate our birthdays
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and sports victories?
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I don't know what else to do.
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I guess I could turn it into a salad joint,
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but sooner or later someone'll use a spinach field as a toilet
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and I'll be back in the same boat.
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Where am I gonna go for my biscuits, honey?
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Or my corn fritters?
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I'd pay anything for one last piece
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of Sugarfoot's fried chicken.
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Anything?
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This is wrong, Mr. Strickland.
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You're the greatest American I know.
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If anyone can fix this, you can.
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You're right, Hank.
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I'm gonna mull this over
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and see if I can't come up with a solution.
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Mr. Strickland is mulling it over.
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What the?
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Hey, tight ride, Mr. Strickland!
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I did it!
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I solved our problem!
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Y-You bought a lunch truck?
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And I rehired my crew from Sugarfoot's.
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Now we can sell whatever kind of food we want.
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We're in the illegal food business!
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Eh, I'm not sure that's a good idea.
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Nah, it's a great idea!
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I'll be just like Joe Kennedy running whiskey
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during Prohibition.
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Which helped him become the father of a President.
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Well, I, I like the sound of that.
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But you could get in a lot of trouble.
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You said the food bans were un-American.
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What's more American than breaking an unjust law?
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This is a fight for freedom, ol' Top!
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I'll do it.
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For America.
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Doughnuts were one of my little joys.
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If the government takes away puppy breath
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and really good yawns,
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I'll have nothing left to live for.
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I might be late getting home from work, Peggy.
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Buck has me working on a, uh, a side project
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that's not, uh, technically, uh, legal.
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Go on.
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Well, I'm... I'm driving a lunch truck.
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And, uh, we're gonna sell all that stuff that the city banned.
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So you'll be a criminal.
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And I'll be the wife of a criminal.
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Well, uh,
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I, I guess technically, but, uh...
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And all the while we'll be living a typical suburban life.
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It's just like The Sopranos commercials.
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It's not like that at all.
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I'm trying to change the law.
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Of course you are.
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And good luck with that.
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You have a strong brow, Hank.
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I don't say that enough.
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Just a couple minutes before we open.
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I think we're gonna change a lot of minds today.
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Elvin, how those biscuits coming along?
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They're gettin' golden brown.
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They just about done, Mr. Buck.
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I'll give 'em the poke test.
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Hold on. Okay, everybody,
stop what you're doing and gather' round.
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Now, we're doing something important here.
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This truck is a lone voice crying out
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that the hardworking people of Arlen
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should be able to eat whatever they want.
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Our cause is righteous.
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But people are gonna look for ways to demonize us.
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That's why we have to do things right.
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We have to be cleaner and safer than the rest.
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We have to refrigerate food when not preparing it
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and wash our hands often.
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Now let's put on our hairnets and paper hats
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and go out and sell some freedom.
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What can I get you, sir?
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Burger. And how'd you like that cooked?
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I... I got a choice?
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Well, you do here, friend.
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Hey, they've got all the banned food in there.
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That's right. Remember to tell your friends about us.
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Sugarfoot's Express... the food you want
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at a price that reflects the risk involved.
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Who's next?
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Order up, rare.
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Mr. Hank. Mr. Hank. You best come on up here.
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Uh... hello, Officer.
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I heard you've got some interesting food here.
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Thought I better come down and take a look.
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We're glad you did.
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Uh, we got fried chicken, uh, fried okra,
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and a special side salad for our boys in blue.
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Mmm.
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Elvin, one bag of side salad for Arlen's finest.
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With, uh, how about, uh, hmm...
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a 200 Island dressing.
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Mm.
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All right, you better make that, uh, 300 Islands.
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Yummy.
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Well, how 'bout that?
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The cops are on our side.
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We must be making a difference.
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Oh, thank God, Sir Burger stopped using transfats.
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These fries really help me
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get through my energy crashes.
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I've been having a lot of those lately.
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I can't take it!
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I'm dying for a raw oyster.
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I never liked them before, but now that
they're contraband, I must have them.
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Uh, can you guys keep a secret?
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You bet. Mostly.
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Buck and I have a truck
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that serves all the banned food.
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The secret lunch truck.
Nancy's been trying to get that on camera.
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I gotta go tell her.
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Uh, that's why I swore you to secrecy, Dale.
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They banned that food to save us.
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00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:13,575
Think about it, Hank. If the government
isn't deciding what we can and can't eat,
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who will, huh? Who?
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I need a nap.
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Yes?
219
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,291
I have an anonymous tip
220
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for Nancy Hicks-Gribble.
221
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,593
What is it, Bill?
222
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:40,264
Well, I'll be damned. I didn't even know you could fry a pickle.
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Ted?
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But the food bans were your idea.
225
00:10:45,544 --> 00:10:47,512
A contradiction on the surface.
226
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But, unlike many, I have the
discipline to enjoy these indulgences.
227
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That's right, Hank Hill.
228
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,214
Ted Wassonasong better than you.
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Perhaps it is education.
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Perhaps breeding.
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The debate rages on.
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Oh, no, Hank.
233
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We got company.
234
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The news.
235
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,093
Let's bug out.
236
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You heard Mr. Strickland.
237
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,397
This is not another drill. Let's go.
238
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Get rid of the evidence.
239
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,278
Okay, honey.
240
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Speed up.
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Gun it. It's already yellow. We'll never make it.
242
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Well, it's either that or toss out Little John.
243
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Do it, Hank.
244
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Damn.
245
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I ran a red light.
246
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,088
Hey, fellas.
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Fancy driving.
248
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:10,856
He saw us?
249
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:12,459
Why didn't he give us a ticket?
250
00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:14,656
Because he believes in our cause.
251
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He's a fellow freedom fighter.
252
00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:20,303
But what does that have to do with reckless driving?
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Plenty. Let me tell you about another reckless driver,
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a man named Paul Revere.
255
00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:28,612
You see, he had a horse that ran
256
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,409
very...
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Oh, screw it, 'OI Top.
258
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We're bribing the cops to stayin business.
259
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:38,255
He's on the take?
260
00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:41,848
Uh, Mr. Buck? Uh, we need to stop by the "green grocer"
261
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:44,628
and withdraw more "salad."
262
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,391
Relax, he knows.
263
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:53,236
Dirty cops, too?
264
00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,533
You are walking a razor's edge, Hank.
265
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:57,801
Now, whisper it again, about the cops.
266
00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:01,401
Hey, guys. Not a big deal,
but I need you to sign this for school.
267
00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:04,539
You got detention for chewing gum?
268
00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:07,379
You can't serve kids frito pies for lunch
269
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,215
and not expect them to do something
270
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:11,414
about the breath issues involved.
271
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:14,219
But you know chewing gum is against the rules.
272
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,657
It's an unjust rule.
273
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,423
I'm fighting for what I believe in, Dad.
274
00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:38,409
What's happening?
275
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:41,349
We're liberating Europe from the Nazis, Hank.
276
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,352
Tom Landry?
277
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,683
That's right.
278
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,257
Before I won two Super Bowls, Hank,
279
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,587
I flew a B-17 in WorldWar II.
280
00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:50,592
Everyone knows that.
281
00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,424
I wanted to talk to you about your lunch truck.
282
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:54,293
So did a couple of my friends.
283
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,767
We don't think you should be breaking the law, Hank.
284
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:04,398
What? But that's what you all did.
285
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:06,636
Mr. President, you were a loyal British subject
286
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:09,748
until they pushed you too far.
287
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:13,545
And you suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War.
288
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,620
And, Tom, you broke all the rules
289
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:18,814
with your revolutionary flex defense.
290
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,448
You're on a slippery slope, Hank.
291
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:24,256
You're ignoring posted traffic laws.
292
00:14:24,396 --> 00:14:26,864
And now Bobby is chewing gum.
293
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:28,227
But I thought you'd be proud.
294
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,332
We're not.
295
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,699
Krauts, two o'clock high.
296
00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:46,882
You think we could get mayonnaise outlawed, ol'Top?
297
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:51,615
Uh, Mr. Strickland, what do you think Tom
Landry would think of what we're doing?
298
00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:54,351
Top, well, how the hell should I know?
299
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:57,792
I, uh... I can't do this anymore, sir.
300
00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:00,490
It just doesn't feel right.
301
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:03,567
Rooster?! What's he doing with a lunch truck?
302
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,897
An illegal lunch truck?
303
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:18,714
It's my territory now, Strickland!
304
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:22,014
I'm taking over Arlen's illegal food business!
305
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:29,989
You're finished, Strickland!
306
00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:31,619
Finished?
307
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,857
How's this for finished?
308
00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:38,299
Retaliate.
309
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,205
Let's get 'em, honey.
310
00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:55,879
Who is Rooster,
311
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,012
and why is he attacking us?
312
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:00,284
He's an old acquaintance of mine from Arkansas.
313
00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:02,257
Dirty as the day is long.
314
00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:04,328
Rooster, when I'm done with you,
315
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,931
your nickname's gonna be Chicken!
316
00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:08,760
Doubtful!
317
00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:11,300
This whole thing has gotten way out of hand.
318
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:14,201
I thought this truck would help, but it's making things worse.
319
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:16,433
I don't think I can be a part of it.
320
00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,709
Oh, you can't quit now, Hank!
321
00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:21,972
If we walk away, Arlen will be at the mercy of Rooster.
322
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:23,103
You want that?
323
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,018
Okay, fine, I'll help.
324
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,955
But just until we get rid of Rooster.
325
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,255
All right!
326
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:46,860
And then we missed the lunch rush
327
00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:49,398
because Rooster slashed our tires.
328
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:52,470
I'm losing a turfwar I don't even want to fight.
329
00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:55,334
Plus, Rooster's food isn't even that good.
330
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:57,499
What? You've eaten from Rooster' struck?
331
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,440
Just once. Today.
332
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:02,945
I had a hankering for some ceviche. Subpar.
333
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,880
Dang it, Dale, I'm trying to drive that guy out of town.
334
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,952
Yeah, man. That ain't cool, man.
335
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,349
I'm sorry, Hank, but I...
336
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:12,157
You okay there, Dale?
337
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,088
Yes. No.
338
00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:15,352
Oh, God.
339
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:19,389
Raw ceviche from a moving truck.
340
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:20,497
What went wrong?
341
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:23,893
Well, it serves you right, Dale.
342
00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:26,503
Yeah, man.
343
00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:29,072
Dang ol'... oh-ho.
344
00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:31,942
You, too?
345
00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:33,203
That's what happens
346
00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:34,835
when you sell people poison.
347
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,538
Luckily, I have nothing to worry about,
348
00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:39,214
thanks to my government-approved diet.
349
00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:41,410
Bill, I didn't want to have to do this,
350
00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:43,544
but I think you should take a look at yourself.
351
00:18:45,023 --> 00:18:46,888
Oh, God.
352
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,368
Thanks to Rooster,
353
00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:59,937
half this town is hugging their toilets!
354
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:02,370
Yeah, must be some kind of food poisoning.
355
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:05,375
I guess your constant whining about hygiene
356
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:07,570
and refrigeration actually served a purpose.
357
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,374
I don't recall whining.
358
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,483
Now all we got to do is let everybody know
359
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:13,482
it was Rooster who poisoned them,
360
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:15,052
and we'll get all the business.
361
00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:17,382
We won, ol'Top! We won!
362
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:20,014
Well, as long as those food bans are in place,
363
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,558
no one has won.
364
00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:23,354
And I'm not sure they're ever going away.
365
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:25,929
From your mouth to God's ear, Hank.
366
00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:35,906
Yes?
367
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:37,338
Nancy, it's Hank Hill.
368
00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:38,465
I've had enough.
369
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:39,542
I want out.
370
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,270
I think I can help, sug.
371
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:43,381
Oh, hey, can we use your facilities?
372
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:45,608
We've been peeing in Snapple bottles all week.
373
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:57,262
The only thing your got-dang bans accomplished
374
00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,296
was to drive people into the shadows
375
00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:02,092
to eat where they got poisoned by a criminal.
376
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:06,135
Rooster and his crew don't care about food safety or hygiene.
377
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,568
And Channel 84's
378
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,367
Nancy Hicks-Gribble can prove it.
379
00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:12,477
She has video evidence of Rooster's blatant
380
00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:15,409
disregard for maintaining a sanitary kitchen.
381
00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:18,379
That video includes shots
382
00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:20,212
of everyone who broke the law
383
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:22,946
and visited Rooster's truck in the past couple days,
384
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:26,546
including people we all might recognize.
385
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,125
We could all watch the tape.
386
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,929
Or you could repeal the food bans.
387
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,691
I say we repeal the bans.
388
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,126
Yes, let us return the power of choice to the people of Arlen.
389
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:39,236
And attach a small addendum to the bill which orders
390
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:41,362
the destruction of that tape. All in favor?
391
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:42,404
Aye!
392
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:56,118
Do you know why these hush puppies taste so good, Bobby?
393
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,691
Trans-fat? Because you're not breaking the rules to eat 'em.
394
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,014
Right, Peggy?
395
00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:03,150
Hmm? Oh, yeah, yeah, rules good.
396
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:06,626
Hey, bad boy.
397
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:08,993
What do you say we skip out on the check, huh?
398
00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:11,192
No. How' bout this?
399
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,565
We load up my purse with packets of Splenda.
400
00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:15,297
By the time they know what hit them,
401
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,465
we'll be long gone. No.
402
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,178
- But I thought you'd be proud.
- We're not.
403
00:21:57,305 --> 00:22:57,360
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