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00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:28,000
Ripped By mstoll
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I'll have another giant
lollipop, my good man.
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But this time, put a wig on it.
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(gasps)
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I didn't know you could do that.
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Yeah, I know all
the secret menus, Bobby.
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00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,097
Like, if you go
just about anywhere
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and ask for a "Hugging Cow,"
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00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,805
you'll get a burger
wrapped in pastrami.
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00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:55,931
(chewing noisily)
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00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:59,105
Mr. Dauterive, there is so much
I can learn from you.
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Dad...
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No.
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00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,522
Go a little slower
with the junk food, Bill.
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(stomach rumbles and growls)
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00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:08,610
(Bill whimpers)
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00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:09,611
Bill?
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00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,830
(moaning quietly)
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00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:12,789
Bill?
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00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:15,617
(groans)
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(chewing noisily)
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Sergeant, you passed out
from a blood sugar spike.
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Looks like you're in the early
stages of adult-onset diabetes.
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00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,638
Diabetes?!
26
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:29,847
That can't be right.
27
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,513
I've eaten lots of sugar
my whole life
28
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:32,930
and nothing's ever
happened to me.
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00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,520
Surely you've noticed
recent changes in your body:
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Blurred vision,
frequent urination,
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tingling in the hands and feet?
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I just thought I was in love.
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How did this happen?
34
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,278
Seriously?
35
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,822
Diabetes is very common
among the obese.
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00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,491
For some people, there's even
a genetic disposition...
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Damn genes!
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Diabetes is a very
manageable disease.
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If you do a better job
with diet and exercise,
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you'll stop it from progressing.
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Yeah, genes!
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00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,551
Well, they say diabetes
can happen to anyone,
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00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,420
and "anyone" usually means Bill.
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00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:11,094
My genes have been
plotting to kill me
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since the day I was born.
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Yeah, you keep talking
about your genes,
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00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,138
but what about your diet?
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Hank, it's not my fault!
49
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,562
My pancreas went out on me.
50
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,355
Yes, it probably is.
51
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,820
You've got to start taking
better care of yourself.
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00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:28,611
I just lose control
when I'm around food.
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00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,951
I don't even know
where this hot dog came from!
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You got to help me, Hank!
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Okay, Bill, I'll go with you
to the grocery store,
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but only if you're serious
about changing your diet.
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I know you only let me
say it on Thanksgiving,
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00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,913
but I'm grateful for you, Hank.
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(both grunting)
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00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,300
But it's carrots!
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00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:57,223
We already went over this
with the zucchini muffins.
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Oh, I give up!
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It's my mom's fault.
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When I was sad,
she'd give me cookies.
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00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,943
But when I was happy,
she'd give me cookies.
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All of my emotions
demand cookies, Hank!
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(sighs)
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00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:18,248
Let's see... for dinner,
I ate a lean chicken breast,
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00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,833
some broccoli,
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00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,793
and one cookie.
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(chewing noisily)
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(groans)
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You know, diabetics like him
could really benefit
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00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,516
from some basic
nutrition counseling.
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00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:41,934
Oh, that's an
interesting theory.
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00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,932
But you know what I
learned at med school?
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00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:44,933
Oh, that's right.
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00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:45,900
You weren't there.
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You may see a diabetic,
but what I see is
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00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,823
a diabetic who will never
get his act together.
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Oh, I see that
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00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:56,324
under "Are you taking
any medications?"
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you wrote "Jell-O."
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00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,949
Mm-hmm. I wrote that
so I wouldn't forget to ask.
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Three, please.
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00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,372
You probably want me to say
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00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,962
that you can just diet and
exercise your way out of this.
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00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,082
But two blood sugar
spikes in a week.
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00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,130
Let's face it: Sooner or later,
this will kill you.
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00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,173
Probably sooner.
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00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,171
What... What should I do?
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00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,219
Well, we have plenty
of nice pamphlets
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00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,636
that I'm sure you'll ignore.
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00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,930
But this is how I see
your diabetes playing out.
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00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,394
First comes heart disease,
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(whimpering) then kidney
failure, then blindness.
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Oh, and you'll lose your legs,
to gangrene.
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(whimpering)
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Wait...
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Are you just
giving me tough love?
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Have you seen other doctors?
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00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:35,525
Yes.
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00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,527
Did they tell you
to diet and exercise?
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00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,323
Yes.
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00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,412
Did you do it?
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(whimpers)
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Here, take this.
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00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,502
You'll end up in a
wheelchair anyway.
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Might as well get one now, while
you still have good insurance.
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00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,336
You know, it's amazing
we never get sunburned.
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00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:55,383
Yep.
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00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,379
Mm-hmm.
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00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,847
(sighs)
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00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,092
I can't believe Bill's
in the hospital again.
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After all the time I spent
with him grocery shopping.
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What did you expect?
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00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,515
Bill can't keep his hands
off the sweets.
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He's just like Winnie the Pooh.
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Who also has diabetes.
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00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:19,244
Is that Bill?
121
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Bill?
122
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,952
What the heck is going on?
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Why are you in a wheelchair?
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Oh, this?
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00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:26,952
No, I'm okay.
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00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:29,171
I'm just gonna lose
my legs and then die.
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See ya later.
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00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,712
(electric motor whirring)
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00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:46,180
Take with food,
take without food.
130
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,681
It's all so confusing.
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(sighs)
132
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No one ever said
the d-life was easy.
133
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,235
The d-life?
134
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,649
Diabetic life.
135
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:56,899
He probably has to use
so many abbreviations
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because there's so
little time left.
137
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,944
I got to tell you, Bill,
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00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:03,948
I'm surprised your diabetes
advanced so quickly.
139
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,949
As a Diabetic-American,
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00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,951
you can never know
what's coming your way.
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00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,124
Dr. Weissman said
it's only a matter of time
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before I lose
more than just legs.
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00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,890
(grunting)
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00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:34,277
Well, don't worry, buddy,
we're here to take care of you.
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00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,737
Whatever you need.
146
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,948
And we're gonna start
by retrofitting your house.
147
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,691
Thanks, guys.
148
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:43,195
I'm gonna go read my "Footprints
in the Sand" poster now.
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00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:50,502
He's being so brave.
150
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,962
Ah, you should've
seen him, Peggy.
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00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:56,834
You could never really describe
Bill as "able-bodied" before,
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00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,506
but now it's not even an option.
153
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,924
Well, rest assured that diabetes
154
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,923
is not happening to this family.
155
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,517
Which is why I've
already made some changes
156
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,227
at La Cocina de Peggy.
157
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:11,393
Come on, Mom, I'm just a kid.
158
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:14,518
This carrot is just like
that lollipop at the fair.
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00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:18,488
Only it has a wig of alfalfa
sprouts instead of spun sugar.
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00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,823
(groans)
161
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,782
And here's an onion.
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00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,869
(sighs)
163
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,951
This would go a little easier
if you'd give me a hand, buddy.
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00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,699
I don't want to go out!
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00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,371
Just drop me, like God did.
166
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Come on, we're gonna find you
167
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a nice wheelchair-
friendly park.
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00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,543
(sighs)
169
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:38,166
Or maybe just some
really long pavement.
170
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:41,921
After I die, I want my ashes
put in a snow globe, Hank.
171
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,137
Promise me that.
172
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,131
You're not gonna die, Bill.
173
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,884
We'll stop and get a new
knob for your joystick.
174
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,976
I want an eight ball.
175
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:03,905
I used to run and be free
just like them.
176
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:07,287
Can you help me find
a position of comfort, Hank?
177
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,951
Oh, we forgot your
pillow in the truck.
178
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,915
I'll be right back.
179
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,370
Hey, you want in?
180
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,712
Uh, no, thanks, I can't.
181
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,426
Not with that attitude, bro.
182
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,762
I'm Sam, but I go by
Rolling Thunder,
183
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,676
but I go by Thunder for short.
184
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,924
Wow.
185
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,767
I was gonna call you that
before I even knew your name.
186
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,477
What's up with
the electric wheelchair?
187
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,938
You should shake that Prius for
something that runs on muscle.
188
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,649
Oh, no, my arms
are all I've got left.
189
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,518
I want to use them
as little as possible.
190
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,112
I'm not a fan of
that kind of talk, now.
191
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,856
Check out my ride.
192
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:46,698
Chrome, crushed velvet,
spinners, bumpers.
193
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,116
I'm in complete control, bro.
194
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:50,284
Check it out, huh.
195
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,954
I'm stylin', I'm profilin'.
196
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,451
I'm stylin'
197
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:55,953
and profilin'.
198
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:59,957
Wow, you just made
walking seem lame.
199
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,082
Hell, yeah.
200
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,176
Come on, I got
a spare one in the truck.
201
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,090
You can have it.
202
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,086
W-Wait!
203
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,463
I can't!
204
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:11,555
Nice!
Woo-hoo!
205
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,723
Ow!
206
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,097
Hey, ladies, come here
and sit in my lap.
207
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,440
I'll pretend
I'm a massage chair.
208
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,934
(whistles like a massage chair)
209
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:19,934
(giggling)
210
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:20,935
(sighs)
211
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,188
You just talked to them.
212
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,690
Hey, hey, are you all right?
213
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,690
Do you need help?
214
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,317
Did he ask you for help?
215
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,570
Oh, he's your attendant.
216
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,289
Yeah, I-I guess so.
217
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,749
I'm Hank.
218
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,288
Are you gonna propose
to me or something?
219
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,958
You know, it's Adam and Eve
not Adam and Steve.
220
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:39,829
What?
221
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,336
I have to go with him, Hank.
222
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,304
He called me "bro."
223
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,519
Bill looks so happy.
224
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:01,735
Who would've guessed it was his
legs that were holding him back?
225
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,899
Yep. Bill's been
way more upbeat
226
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,939
since he's been
hanging out with Thunder.
227
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,941
He seems like a good guy.
228
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,911
I mean, he's pretty insulting
to me personally, but...
229
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:13,663
Hank, we're going out.
230
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:14,952
You want to come along?
231
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,246
Plenty of room in the
back, for an attendant.
232
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,546
Thunder, I'm gonna
have to adjust this mirror
233
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,257
to get a better view
of my amazing new pythons.
234
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,594
You know, I think I'll stay
and attend to my beer.
235
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,680
That is, if, uh,
if you don't need me.
236
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,345
Oh, yeah, we're okay.
237
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,889
We can take care of ourselves.
238
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:40,895
My life would be so different
if my name was Thunder.
239
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,767
Or Sean.
240
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,735
(disco music playing)
241
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:50,867
♪ We're gonna dance
the night away ♪
242
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,406
(giggling):
Oh, hey!
243
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:56,864
Go talk to someone.
244
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,959
Women find guys in chairs
non-threatening.
245
00:10:58,950 --> 00:10:59,951
Suckers.
246
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:01,373
I don't know.
247
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:04,043
My palms are sweaty,
I-I can hardly grip my wheels.
248
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:09,927
♪ We're gonna dance
the night away ♪
249
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,843
♪ To the dreamer... ♪
250
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,225
Yeah, bring it around! Woo-hoo!
251
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,718
(woman laughing)
252
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,722
Woo-hoo!
253
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:20,893
? ...can stop us...?
254
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,532
Oh, look at this delicious food
255
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,952
my mom painstakingly
Saran-wrapped for me.
256
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,746
My word, it looks so tasty.
257
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,962
And yet, I am willing to trade.
258
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,546
Oh, I gotta have it!
259
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,131
Let's trade!
260
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,545
What is it?
261
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,339
It says it's seaweed.
262
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,928
No way, Jose.
263
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,924
But you generally like
eating gross things!
264
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:55,845
I know.
265
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,759
This surprises me, too.
266
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:04,399
(grumbling)
267
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,909
(clicking)
268
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,161
Whoa.
269
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,530
Nice chair!
270
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:19,655
Question:
271
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,624
Are those wheels angled
for stability
272
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,459
or just to make you look cool?
273
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,124
Answer: Both.
274
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,712
Thanks, Dale.
275
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:29,503
Yeah, this chair is built
for ramming into stuff.
276
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,627
Thunder gave me a spot
on his rugby team!
277
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,094
Good for you, Bill!
278
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,508
Okay,
279
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,881
We've lowered almost everything
280
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,507
in your house by two feet.
281
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,930
And now we're gonna build you
a ramp for the entryway.
282
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,644
Yeah, that's nice,
but I've decided
283
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,229
I don't need a ramp anymore.
284
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:46,566
I was thinking maybe we'll build
a basketball court instead.
285
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,559
Got dang, man,
look at you, like a dang,
286
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,938
like dang 'ol Lance Armstrong,
man, gettin' by on one, man.
287
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,656
Inspired, Bill.
288
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:56,197
Sometimes
it's a man sitting down
289
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,240
who stands the tallest.
290
00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,408
It's deep.
291
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,951
Think about it.
292
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,915
Oh, maybe it's the other way
around.
293
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,293
(grunts)
294
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,497
(groans)
295
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,509
(grunting)
296
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,178
(cheering)
297
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,843
All right, Bill!
Whoo!
298
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:18,931
(blowing whistle)
299
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,925
Just because you've
been cheated by life
300
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,768
doesn't mean you can cheat
on my court!
301
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,933
Bill is really
hustling out there!
302
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,101
This is amazing.
303
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:28,646
He never played rugby
even when he had legs.
304
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,729
(grunting)
305
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,199
Mm-mmm.
306
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,238
(grunting)
307
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,282
I've never felt more alive
308
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:43,452
than watching Bill
feel more alive.
309
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,951
MEN:
♪ We fight to win ♪
310
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,952
♪ Win, win, win ♪
311
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,954
♪ We growl like bears ♪
312
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,877
♪ Grr! Grr! Grr! ♪
313
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,008
♪ We're Arlen Rugby ♪
314
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,002
♪ So piss off and die! ♪
(laughs)
315
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,845
(cheering)
316
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,972
(whistling)
317
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,932
Well, the ol' bladder's full.
318
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,895
Need to make room for more beer.
319
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:11,981
Bro?
320
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,739
No. Wait, no!
321
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,737
I-I'm disabled
like you!
322
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,739
I've got diabetes really bad.
323
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:25,831
I'll prove it!
324
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:28,121
(beeping)
325
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,960
Normal.
326
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,295
Very funny.
327
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,961
Very funny!
328
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,708
Are you pranking us?
329
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,882
Are you like that Archton
Karchner or something? Huh?
330
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:41,385
(beeps)
331
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,928
What? That's strange.
332
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:47,895
I... I have diabetes.
333
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,601
I mean, I mean, not right now.
334
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,191
My, my, my sugar level
is pretty good today.
335
00:14:58,648 --> 00:14:59,865
What's going on?
336
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:02,652
I think that guy stole
someone's wheelchair.
337
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,329
(hissing)
338
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,505
It's nice,
339
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:16,295
but I'm not sure if
it says Bill yet.
340
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,338
Let's give it a beer.
341
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,423
What is going on?
342
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,845
You're-you're walking?
343
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:27,890
Uh, yeah, Hank, just
'cause he's a paraplegic
344
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,933
doesn't mean his
legs don't work.
345
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,181
Wait a minute...
346
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,773
Yeah, I can walk.
347
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,642
And I lost my diabetes, too!
348
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,644
What?!
I don't know what happened.
349
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:39,443
One minute I was
all diabetic-y, and now...
350
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,656
I'm fine.
351
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:41,945
I don't get it.
352
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,909
Dr. Weissman told me
I was gonna lose my legs!
353
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:47,288
Hold on, I-I thought
you already lost your legs.
354
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,532
I don't know!
355
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,533
My doctor told me
to get a wheelchair.
356
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,956
When people yell at me,
I do what they say!
357
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,954
So we did all this for nothing?
358
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,503
We've practically rebuilt
your house, Bill!
359
00:15:57,498 --> 00:16:00,092
And I literally dragged
you all over town!
360
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,178
Oh, sure, feel sorry
for yourself.
361
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,138
You've never been handicapped.
362
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,098
Neither have you!
363
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,899
(sighs)
364
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,902
(disco music playing)
365
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,532
♪ When you want me ♪
366
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,621
♪ Just pick up the telephone ♪
367
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,661
(Bill humming happily)
♪ When you need me ♪
368
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,875
♪ You don't have
to be alone... ♪
369
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,619
(humming)
370
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,538
Whee!
371
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:41,259
This is awkward and sad.
372
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:46,472
♪ Girl, I’ll be your lover man
anytime... ♪
373
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,847
JOSEPH:
What is that?
374
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,940
Some plant called wheatgrass.
375
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,934
Wait, what is she doing?!
376
00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,902
Dude,
377
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:01,896
she's gonna drink the ground!
378
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,574
Bobby!
379
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,947
Oh, there you are.
380
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:13,325
Snack time!
381
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,961
I can't watch you
suffer anymore, dude.
382
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,456
Here, have my candy bar.
383
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,128
Really?
384
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,091
Oh, thank God.
385
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,129
It's too sweet!
386
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,881
It's making my teeth itch!
387
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,470
Oh, my God!
388
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:31,934
You haven't had sugar all week
389
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,894
and now you're not
used to it anymore!
390
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,351
I...
391
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,691
I can't eat it, Joseph.
392
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,653
(gulps)
393
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,993
Huh... not bad.
394
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,947
Man, dang 'ol, Bill, man.
395
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:53,948
Phew... You know.
396
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,167
I'm furious, too, Boomhauer.
397
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:58,581
I can't drink in peace with Bill
398
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,546
standing there like that.
399
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,507
S'go.
400
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,587
I'm sorry, Hank.
401
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,511
I'd walk away, but that'd
just remind me I can walk.
402
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,929
I don't know
why you're so mopey, Bill.
403
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,927
You can walk again.
You're cured.
404
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,474
No, you don't understand.
405
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,472
I had it all in that wheelchair.
406
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,474
Women paid attention to me.
407
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,852
Buses would lower themselves
before me.
408
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:23,899
When I'd check the mail,
409
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,940
people would call it a "triumph
of the human spirit."
410
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,941
But now, nothing.
411
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,865
People only cared about me
when I was disabled.
412
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:32,908
(sighs)
413
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,450
You know that's not true.
414
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,869
Then carry me, Hank.
415
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,458
No.
Case closed.
416
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,919
Bill, people seemed to care
about you more
417
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:42,959
because you were doing inspiring
things in that wheelchair.
418
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,334
And how am I supposed
to be inspiring with legs?
419
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,927
By running a marathon?
420
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,761
By climbing Mount Everest?
421
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,506
I can't climb Mount Everest.
422
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:54,475
And it's already been done
thousands of times!
423
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:06,403
(crying)
424
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,786
(groans)
425
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:16,913
(beeping)
426
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,996
(chomping)
427
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,871
(grunting)
428
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,748
What in the hell are you doing?
429
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:29,343
Why, why won't my sugar level
spike again, Hank?
430
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,339
I want things to be like before!
431
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,931
Cut it out! You'll end
up in the hospital!
432
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,391
I know!
433
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,602
That's what I'm trying to do!
434
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:38,936
Nope, not happening, bro.
435
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,930
All that exercise you got
hanging out with me
436
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,898
got you in control
of your diabetes.
437
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:44,858
You're welcome.
438
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,360
Why'd you bring him here, Hank?
439
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,399
To rub it in?
440
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:48,567
I brought him here
441
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:49,939
to talk some sense into you
442
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,816
because you're acting
like a jackass.
443
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,818
(blubbering)
444
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,866
I just wanted to be special
445
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,871
and inspiring like you
446
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,749
and FDR and Larry Flynt.
447
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,743
Bro, you cured yourself.
448
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,290
That's pretty inspiring.
449
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:06,963
That's right.
450
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,254
Dr. Weissman said
you'd never walk again.
451
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,673
He told you to give up,
and you didn't.
452
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,671
You beat diabetes, Bill!
453
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:16,390
Someone'll probably write
a whole pamphlet about you!
454
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,936
You know, if I were you
455
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,896
the first thing I'd do
with my legs is stand up
456
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,898
and kick your doctor's ass.
457
00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,437
But for the record,
458
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:32,407
I don't need legs
to kick anyone's ass.
459
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,694
Dr. Weissman,
460
00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:39,789
my friend Bill would like
to register a complaint.
461
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:40,952
Ooh.
462
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,621
Are you upset or something?
463
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:45,836
I said you had diabetes,
not cry-a-betes.
464
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:48,172
You told me I was gonna
lose my legs!
465
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:51,794
No, I said your legs
could fail one day.
466
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,544
Possibly... I... I
never said anything
467
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,546
that could constitute
malpractice
468
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:56,923
under its current definition.
469
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:57,548
Mm-hmm.
470
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:59,516
My legs work just fine.
471
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,181
Isn't that inspiring?
472
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:03,805
(Bill grunting, groaning)
WEISSMAN: Ow! Ow! Ow!
473
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:05,181
(glass breaking)
474
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,934
Uh, my friend is just, uh...
475
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,935
I don't hear a thing.
476
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,937
(Bill grunting,
Weissman groaning)
477
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,905
(clattering, banging)
478
00:21:55,022 --> 00:21:57,320
(Thunder whistles
like a massage chair)
479
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:07,500
Ripped By mstoll
479
00:22:08,305 --> 00:23:08,516
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