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Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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Ripped By mstoll
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Remember our old percolator?
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Now, that made a cup of coffee.
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If you want to open up
that can of worms,
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00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,587
let's talk about
the old can opener.
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(shudders)
No, not the lawn!
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The lawn, boy, no!
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How many times have I told you,
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there are no dinosaur
bones under our yard!
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I'm doing extra credit
for my earth science class.
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00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,982
We're learning about
all that these trees can do,
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like turning carbon dioxide
into oxygen.
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Yeah, and, uh, other stuff.
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Huh.
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Well, I wish
you'd asked permission,
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00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,495
but it is a pretty good spot
for a tree.
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And the pecan tree
is the state tree of Texas.
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I limited myself to trees
that could be used to make pies.
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Well, let me
give you boys a hand.
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There's a new recipe
for backfill
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I've been meaning to try out.
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(whispers):
It's, uh, two parts compost.
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Okay, gather around, everybody!
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We're gonna play us
a little game!
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00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:47,195
Highest card
wins Strickland Propane,
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00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,943
all its assets and liabilities.
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A jack!
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All right, I'm in the mix!
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What's going on, sir?
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The last time
we played this game,
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Joe Jack got hit
with a paternity suit.
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It's fixing to get ugly
around here.
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00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,131
The Bystander's about
to print a story claiming
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00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,967
we've been illegally dumping
our old propane tanks
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in the Cottonwood River!
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What?
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Why would they say that?
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Because they're jackals!
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They're trying to fill
their news holes.
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And because they got proof.
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00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,855
Dang it, Mr. Strickland,
I don't understand
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00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,975
how you can be
Strickland's greatest asset
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and its greatest liability.
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Calm down.
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I didn't know it was illegal.
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I was trying to create
a coral reef,
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for all the dolphins
and whatnot.
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In a river?
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Everyone's gonna hate us.
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People hate people
who hate the environment.
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If we don't have an environment,
where will we do stuff?
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Think about it.
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Now, wait a minute.
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Mr. Strickland made
a bad decision that, for now,
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I am willing to believe
was an accident.
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We just need to show people
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that Strickland Propane
doesn't hate the environment.
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Hank,
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are you suggesting we go green?
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Well, I'd rather not
put it that way, but yes.
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Stop digging if you hit metal.
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00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:06,942
My dad says there are a lot of
unexploded ordnances back here.
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(sighs)
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Nice-looking tree, boys.
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Thanks.
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At first, it was all about
the extra credit.
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00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:20,535
But now, I'm kind of glad
we're helping the planet.
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About that science teacher
of yours,
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does he ever talk about,
uh, going green?
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I don't know.
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Do you ever talk about propane?
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My point is, he talks
about it all the time.
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I don't suppose you remember any
of the things he said, do you?
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Dad, I have a bookbag full
of handouts you're gonna love.
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(shovel clinks)
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Hit the deck!
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My teacher says global warming
is serious business.
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Look at all the pictures
of the Statue of Liberty
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at the bottom of the ocean.
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Okay, Bobby, let's skip
to the nuts and bolts.
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Right.
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It says here
a healthy planet starts
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with turning off
your screen saver
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when you leave your workstation.
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00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:09,091
But my flying toasters
keep me happy!
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Huh.
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This is not all
California nonsense.
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Some of it's common sense stuff,
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like recycling and using
more efficient light bulbs.
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00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:22,979
And, Mr.
Strickland,
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00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,520
about that little fridge
you keep in your office...
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I am not drinking
a warm longneck!
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Well, at least put
the door back on.
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Fine.
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Thanks for carpooling, you guys.
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I know it's not
everybody's first choice,
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but it's important
for the company.
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Hey, I'm psyched, man!
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Now we finally have
a chance to talk,
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I mean, really talk,
about our hopes and our fears.
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Uh, who wants to go first?
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(groans)
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Hang in there, Mr. Strickland.
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We'll be there soon.
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Now, if you're not
gonna let me have
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my own little bottles of water,
then we're all drinking
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raspberry ice!
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00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,530
(strains)
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(gasps)
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We better turn that dang air on,
or I'm going pant-less.
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I'm sorry, Buck.
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I don't know how to say
this diplomatically,
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but you made a mistake,
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and, well, fixing it
is not gonna be fun.
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(sighs)
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Buck needs to be more vigilant.
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He put up a banner
saying we went green.
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That's like a contract
with everyone who drives by.
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Buck could always
take the easy way out
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and just buy carbon offsets.
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They're all the rage
in Hollywood.
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That's the dream factory, Hank.
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What the heck
is a carbon offset?
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00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,242
It's like
a "get out of jail free" card
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00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,285
for people concerned
about the environment,
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00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,160
but not concerned enough
to actually do anything.
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00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:10,958
You simply pay someone to
plant trees or build windmills
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to offset all the carbon
you've dumped on the Earth.
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00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,628
That's ridiculous.
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You can't cause a problem
and ask someone else to fix it.
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You have to do the work
yourself,
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00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,969
like Bobby and Joseph
over there.
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DALE:
What?
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Joseph doesn't work.
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00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,974
Well, normally Bobby
doesn't either,
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00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,849
but look at them,
working for free.
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You really got to admire that.
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Huh.
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You most certainly do.
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Oh, yeah!
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00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,830
Hello, Dale.
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00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:48,291
I assume you're just here
for a quick visit
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00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,706
since you're taking up
two parking spaces.
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00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:54,047
Your friend here just sold me
a mess of carbon offsets.
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You did what?
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00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,875
Good news, Hank.
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00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:59,173
I'm in the carbon offset
business.
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00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,804
No, this isn't the way
to show customers we've changed.
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00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,346
We have a plan.
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00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:09,563
Sure, it's tedious and
unpleasant, but it will work.
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00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:11,977
Yeah, yeah, we gave your plan
a fair shot, ol' top.
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00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,566
It was time to cut our losses.
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It was one clay.
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00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:17,525
Hank, this is a dream come true.
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All the sanctimony
without all the effort.
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(engine starts)
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(coughing)
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00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,746
(inhales deeply)
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(coughing)
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00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,375
Ah.
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Smells like money.
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00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:42,295
Say, ol' top,
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that truck of yours
is quite the gas guzzler.
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How many offsets
can I put you down for?
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You can put me down
for kicking your ass!
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What kind of stupid
got-dang idea is this?
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This is the perfect plan.
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Strickland agreed
to let me plant the trees
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on some land he isn't using;
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Bobby and Joseph agreed
to do the planting;
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00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,233
and I agreed to take the money.
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Buying carbon offsets isn't
gonna fix Strickland's image.
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00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:07,988
It's just cheating.
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00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,706
Who's to say what's cheating?
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00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:12,952
Is Leonardo DiCaprio cheating
when he offsets
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00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,453
riding around in a private jet?
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00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:15,248
Yes.
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00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,246
(chuckles)
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00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:19,591
Oh, Hank, you just don't get it.
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(grunts)
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Planting carbon offsets
is great!
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00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,845
(breathes deeply)
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00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,644
I feel like I can
already breathe better.
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00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:35,982
Whew!
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00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,942
I guess this is what happens
when God gets lazy
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00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,820
and humans have to pick up
the slack.
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00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,985
What else do you need
me to do for you?!
189
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:45,985
Look, I know
we're tired and irritable...
190
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,486
Shut up, kid!
191
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This is important.
192
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,332
I think we should buckle down
and keep working.
193
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,620
Who's with me?!
194
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,119
You're talking so loud,
of course I'm in!
195
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,594
Octavio, I have a job for you.
196
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:05,929
Bring your shovel.
197
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,964
Oh, sorry, Mrs. Octavio.
198
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,716
You sound just like him.
199
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,395
Welcome to Strickland Propane.
200
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,764
The banner outside
says you're green.
201
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:18,187
What exactly are you doing
for the environment?
202
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,435
Well, quite a bit.
203
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,528
We have an employee carpool,
204
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,318
all our invoices are printed
on recycled paper,
205
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,907
and as you can tell,
206
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,698
the temperature in here
is slightly uncomfortable.
207
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,991
You're burying
the lead, ol' top.
208
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,240
Tell her about
the carbon offsets.
209
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,866
HANK:
I don't think
210
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,994
she really wants
to hear about, uh...
211
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,462
Trees! Beautiful trees.
212
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:42,082
I'm planting a forest
of majestic oaks
213
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,834
and pines and whatnot.
214
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:47,337
And those trees are eating up
all that nasty carbon.
215
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:48,964
I respect that.
216
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,967
It's the next best thing
to us never having existed.
217
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:55,846
It's money out of my pocket, but
I'm doing it for the children.
218
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,939
You see, I got a kid somewhere.
219
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,566
So do I!
220
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:02,436
(chuckling): Well, I find
that hard to believe.
221
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,980
You take
the next customer, Hank.
222
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,574
I'm gonna handle
this one... personally.
223
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,990
I'm so excited to
start planting today!
224
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:17,833
I can't wait to see if
this blister's gonna hold on.
225
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:20,670
Kids, I've decided
that instead of planting,
226
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,632
you should focus
on selling carbon offsets.
227
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,967
Wouldn't we be doing
more good for the planet
228
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,427
if we were planting trees?
229
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:31,468
Octavio and I have
the planting covered.
230
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,091
Okay-
231
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,263
We're gonna run
out of trees soon, esé.
232
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,559
Should we go buy some more?
233
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,728
We got all the trees
we need, Octavio.
234
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,566
I mean, who knows
how many carbons
235
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,311
are soaked up by a single tree.
236
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,529
17? 30 billion?
237
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:49,991
This one's pretty leafy,
but, you know,
238
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:50,984
I don't know, dude.
239
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,577
Nobody does!
240
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,287
So go get some lunch.
241
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,959
(doorbell rings)
242
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:02,329
I don't care where
your school is going.
243
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,205
I'm not buying any more candy.
244
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:07,300
We're selling carbon offsets,
Mr. Souphanousinphone.
245
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,636
Now, I can pretty this up
for you
246
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:12,426
and tell you there's
plenty of air to go around,
247
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:14,971
but I see
that you're a smart man,
248
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,968
and you'd see
right through that.
249
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,266
You can keep ruining the world
and stuff,
250
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:21,981
and these offset thingies
make it okay.
251
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:25,978
This make me feel better
about taking 40-minute showers.
252
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:28,105
It's my "me" time.
253
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,987
BOBBY:
Look at all these trees I sold.
254
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:33,986
Everyone in the neighborhood
bought offsets.
255
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,955
Oh, Bobby, it is so nice
to see you thinking
256
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,490
you're making a difference.
257
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:41,242
You know who bought
the most offsets of anyone?
258
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:42,994
Mr. Strickland.
259
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,962
(sighs) The way to win
back our customers
260
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:48,504
is by making minor adjustments
to our daily regimen
261
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:52,129
that, over time, can make
a quantifiable difference.
262
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:55,257
Wow, Dad, between
all the dull stuff you're doing
263
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,304
and the exciting stuff
I'm doing,
264
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,723
we're going to save the world!
265
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,225
Oh, my God.
266
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,896
This is so random;
I buy offsets, too.
267
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,268
BLONDE WOMAN:
They are so important.
268
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,895
I just saw a documentary
about Antarctica.
269
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,612
If all the ice melts,
where will the penguins dance?
270
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,609
So true.
271
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:15,986
We have to go.
272
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,237
We're in a band,
and we're on our way
273
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,956
to Nashville
for the Earth Benefit Concert.
274
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,242
Wait, wait, wait!
275
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:25,212
You shouldn't be burning
all that awful carbon
276
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:27,171
by driving up to Nashville.
277
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,961
No, not when I'm organizing
278
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,927
one of them earthy benefit
concerts right here in Arlen.
279
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,929
Wow, you really get it.
280
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,637
Yeah, it'll be like Woodstock.
281
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:40,351
Y'all like mud, don't you?
282
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:46,933
(radio playing softly)
283
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,163
Channel 84? Oh, God,
284
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,997
what else did they find
in the river?
285
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,913
They can't look in my locker
unless they're cops,
286
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,125
right, honey?
287
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:10,256
This earthy concert's going
to put us over the top, ol' top.
288
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:13,127
We'll never have to worry
about our reputation again.
289
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,969
We got to hurry
and wrap this up, suge.
290
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,430
There's a dog nursing
baby kittens across town.
291
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,424
Mr. Strickland,
you used to pollute,
292
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,971
but now you give a hoot.
293
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,969
Tell us how that happened.
294
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:26,473
I have sinned,
but I am a changed man.
295
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:30,818
I fell hard for a lovely lady
named Mother Earth.
296
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,939
And like any man in love,
I want the whole world to see
297
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,984
my beautiful woman
and her trees.
298
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,532
That's why I'm sponsoring
a benefit concert
299
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:43,953
two weeks from Saturday,
in majestic Strickland Woods!
300
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,830
PEGGY:
A benefit concert.
301
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,252
That is one smart way
to pull Strickland's huevos
302
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,795
out of the frying pan.
303
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,964
I have found that live music
will make people
304
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,837
overlook anything.
305
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,214
Sting must do horrible things
306
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,807
for all the special concerts
that man puts on.
307
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:04,723
Well, I can't believe the kinds
of people I had to deal with
308
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,972
all week
getting this concert going.
309
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,440
Apparently,
right when you get out of jail,
310
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,651
you start renting port-a-johns.
311
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,235
I sold so many trees,
312
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:15,980
they should call Strickland
Woods "Strickland Forest."
313
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,324
Well, congratulations, Bobby.
314
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:21,320
You just put out your
first Mr. Strickland fire.
315
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,947
A couple hundred more
and you'll be tied with me.
316
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,251
Where are all the trees?
317
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,797
I don't know.
318
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,967
Mr. Gribble said he'd take care
of the planting
319
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,636
and for me to just worry
about the selling.
320
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,509
Well, on the bright side,
321
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:47,934
this is the scandal that will
finally take Buck down.
322
00:14:56,979 --> 00:15:00,233
Dale, we were just at Strickland
Woods and there's nothing there.
323
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,951
How could you do this?
324
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:04,992
Well, I liked the money, but
didn't care for the digging.
325
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,456
After that the plan
sort of formed itself.
326
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,748
Buck's been telling everybody
he's planted a forest out there.
327
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,212
This was supposed to save
Strickland's image.
328
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,332
In my defense, things
get awfully muddy
329
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,959
when it comes
to the environment.
330
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,963
Hybrid cars get worse mileage
than older regular cars.
331
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,135
Ethanol causes food prices
to go up
332
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,974
and leads to riots
in other countries.
333
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,809
We were supposed to have
an ice age
334
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,974
unless people stopped
using pesticides.
335
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:31,644
Well, looky here.
It's still hot!
336
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,482
I'm not letting you
destroy the company
337
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,568
I've dedicated my life to.
338
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,358
You're going to go
and tell everyone
339
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,196
that you lied
and stole their money.
340
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,283
I'm kind of in the middle
of a beer, Hank.
341
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,653
Aah!
342
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,996
And this is where
I'll be hobnobbing
343
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,205
with all the celebrities.
344
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:51,246
I call it the Green Green Room.
345
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,368
Uh-huh.
346
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,995
Then I get lowered
onto the stage
347
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:57,795
by a helicopter powered
by vegetable oil.
348
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,043
Go on, Dale. Tell them
about the trees.
349
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,669
Yeah, about them,
350
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,671
some of those trees
might have to, you know,
351
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,675
quietly disappear to
make room for a stage.
352
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,768
Well, that's not going
to be a problem, sir.
353
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,181
There are no trees.
354
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,974
Dale took your money
and didn't plant anything.
355
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,817
Excuses, Hank...
Tell him the excuses.
356
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,482
I got thousands of people...
357
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,151
Including some very
attractive females...
358
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:23,366
Expecting music and trees!
359
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,984
We're in trouble.
360
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,828
We need a brainstorming
session, pronto.
361
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,993
Well, how about we tell everyone
the truth?
362
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,242
How about we simulate
a forest with one tree
363
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,868
and a thousand mirrors?
364
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,245
Well, now there's someone
using his noodle.
365
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,588
Hank, you're out.
Gribble, what else you got?
366
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,396
So this fellow's
going to save us, huh?
367
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,859
How do you know him, again?
368
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,946
He used to be in the gun club
until we kicked him out.
369
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:05,408
He kind of scared us;
he's way into guns.
370
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,534
Hey, Gribble.
371
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,999
How's your gun club?
372
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,243
Geez, let it go already.
373
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:18,463
Eh, nice piece of property
you got here.
374
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,001
What is she, a hundred acres?
375
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,123
She's not for sale.
376
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,625
Oh, we don't want to buy it.
377
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:25,549
We want to buy the carbon offset
rights to your trees.
378
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,888
You can't cut down my trees.
379
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,597
No, no, you don't understand.
380
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,512
We want these trees
to keep doing
381
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,727
exactly what they're doing...
382
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:33,970
Inhaling carbon
383
00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,313
and exhaling oxygen.
384
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,979
And we want to pay you for it,
for the environment.
385
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,398
How is paying me going to help
the environment?
386
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,395
Well, hell if I know.
387
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,692
The important thing is
388
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,986
nothing's going to change
and you get paid.
389
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,360
I think we can work
something out.
390
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,327
Fantastic.
391
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,787
Oh, yeah,
392
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,406
and there's going to be
a concert here this weekend.
393
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,659
Should be a few thousand people,
not a big deal.
394
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:02,002
Buck and Dale
are just making things worse.
395
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:05,969
Now they've bought offset rights
to a forest that already exists.
396
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,553
It doesn't matter anyway.
397
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,639
People just want to make money.
398
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,133
Caring is for suckers.
399
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,392
Bobby is too young
to know that, Hank.
400
00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:18,890
We have to do something.
401
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:23,561
Hey, it looks like your pecan
tree could use a little water.
402
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,780
What's the point?
403
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,464
I told you it'd work, ol' top.
404
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,380
Nobody knows where the real
Strickland Woods is.
405
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,968
Yep, it certainly looks like
406
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,588
you're going to get
away with this, sir.
407
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:53,841
Uh, how you all doing out there?
408
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:55,969
(cheering)
409
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,845
We're all here to have
a good time,
410
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:01,224
but let's not forget
the real reason we're here:
411
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,725
me!
412
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,272
I'm just like the Indian
413
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,316
who saw pollution
in that old commercial;
414
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,985
except instead of crying,
415
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,779
I got off my ass
and did something about it.
416
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,988
That's why I planted
all these trees.
417
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,456
(cheering)
418
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:20,201
BUCK (in distance):
Aw, I'm not a hero,
419
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,578
no, not at all.
420
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,000
I'm just one man who's trying
421
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,124
to single-handedly save
the planet.
422
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:29,468
(cheering)
423
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,588
Uh, sir, one of the
girls in the band
424
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:34,431
needs help with her costume.
425
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:37,893
Excuse me, folks.
I got some hobnobbing to do.
426
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:40,726
Hello, I'm Hank Hill.
427
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:44,316
Now, you're all here because
you care about the environment.
428
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,685
(cheering)
429
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,403
The environment!
HANK: That's right.
430
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,989
And that's why you deserve
the truth.
431
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,278
And, uh, the truth is,
432
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:55,574
these trees have been here
a long time.
433
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,367
(cheering)
434
00:19:57,363 --> 00:20:01,459
No, no. You see, Strickland
Propane didn't plant them.
435
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:05,000
We just bought the offset rights
to them, whatever that means.
436
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:08,340
(cheering)
437
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:11,461
What I'm trying to say is,
we did nothing.
438
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,178
Leave only footprints!
439
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:16,265
(cheering)
440
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:19,887
Strickland! Strickland!
Strickland!
441
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:23,977
(guitar plays)
442
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,350
(sighs)
443
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:28,899
Ladies and gentlemen,
Big Mountain Fudge Cake.
444
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,940
(cheering)
445
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,992
And these stakes should support
the tree in any strong winds.
446
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,791
It'll be turning out oxygen
and pecans for years to come.
447
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:50,007
Thanks, Dad, but I don't see
how one tree is going to matter.
448
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,967
Well, I'm not going to lie
to you, Bobby.
449
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,961
One tree probably won't matter.
450
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,963
Oh, okay.
451
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:58,967
But if you care about something,
you can make a difference.
452
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:00,718
Don't let people
who take shortcuts
453
00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:04,848
or only do something because
it's fashionable discourage you.
454
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,315
I won't.
455
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,899
So what's the ETA on
that first pecan pie?
456
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:14,406
Uh, it's going to be
a little while, Bobby.
457
00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:55,948
BUCK:
Trees! Beautiful trees.
458
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:06,500
Ripped By mstoll
458
00:22:07,305 --> 00:23:07,858
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