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Ripped By mstoll
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MAN:
Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Hill.
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Just give me one second
to find Bobby's test.
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Excellent, great work.
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Satisfactory, needs improvement.
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Unsatisfactory.
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Yes, here's Bobby.
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"D-"?
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Dang it, Bobby.
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I expect more from someone
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00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:52,018
with no extracurricular
activities.
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00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,978
I'm sorry, Dad. I tried.
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Math's just not my thing.
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I told you we should have
let him watch Sesame Street.
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Don't blame me.
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00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,400
The boy was terrified
of puppets.
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00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,114
Too bad that didn't stick.
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00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:06,780
So, I guess it's not my fault?
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00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:07,947
Or mine.
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00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,911
Maybe Bobby's
just a bad test taker.
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Some kids have trouble
handling the stress
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of testing situations.
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00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,870
This is ridiculous.
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00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:16,209
My boy's flunking out,
26
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,124
and you're just making excuses.
27
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,963
Carl, aren't you
gonna say something?
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00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:22,299
Hmm? Oh, oh, sorry, Hank.
I wasn't listening.
29
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:24,043
Uh, I'm mainly here for backup.
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00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,090
You would not believe
how quickly
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00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,839
these parent/teacher conferences
can turn violent.
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Hank, I do not know
how you can eat
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when our boy
is so close to the edge.
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He'll be fine.
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00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,441
He just needs to work harder
and apply himself.
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00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,110
Yeah, about that.
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00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,858
I was thinking that maybe
we shouldn't dismiss
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00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:51,112
this "bad test taker" thing
so quickly.
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00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,034
Bobby, no more excuses.
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The only thing that's wrong
with you is that you're lazy.
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00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,751
And that's gonna change
right now.
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00:01:57,743 --> 00:02:00,212
And I will be your
instrument of change.
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00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:03,082
I will tutor you
and flash-card you
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00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,834
until you claw your way
up to a "C-."
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00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,302
I hate letter grades.
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00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,841
Why can't we just go back
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00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,056
to the gold star/smiley face
system?
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00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,012
The same reason
we won't let you sleep
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00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,098
with your "banky" anymore.
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00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,095
But I still...
Yip.
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00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,392
Oh.
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00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,605
(chuckling)
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00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,103
I'll forward it to you...
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00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,275
but better wait till you get
home before you open it.
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00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,114
Carl, the school board's
got a problem.
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A "No Child Left Behind"
problem.
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00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:37,624
Stu, tell the school board
we haven't left behind a child
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00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,289
in over five years
at Tom Landry.
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00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,831
Hell, we pass everybody.
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00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,625
Carl, the government
doesn't care
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00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,419
if your kids pass their classes.
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00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:48,590
They just care if your kids pass
the yearly standardized test,
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00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,464
which they haven't done
in two years.
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00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:53,090
Oh, is that
what that law's about?
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(sputtering)
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00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,263
Have you even read the manual?
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00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,885
Well, to tell you the truth,
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00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,603
I got a few pages into it,
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00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,097
but it's no Harry Potter.
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00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,020
And-and then the new Harry
Potter came out, and well, I...
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00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,810
Damn it, Carl.
That test is in a few weeks.
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00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,608
You haven't done squat
to prepare for it.
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00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,106
Now, if your kids
fail this again,
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00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,905
the state can come in
and fire all of you.
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00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,117
And Carl, I imagine
the first head
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00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:19,037
on the chopping block's
going to be the principal's.
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00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,048
(microphone feedback squealing)
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00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,963
Okay, kids, I need everyone
to listen up real good.
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We got a very important
standardized test coming up.
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If y'all don't pass it,
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me and your teachers
could be out of a job.
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Yes!
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00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:38,093
Good.
We hate you guys!
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00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,310
(laughing)
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Let's see how you feel
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00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,101
after Tom Landry gets shut down
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00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,895
and y'all are shipped
to other schools.
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00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,517
Maybe a few of you
will get lucky
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00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:46,894
and end up in North Arlen,
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00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,271
but most of you'll
be finishing out your year...
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00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:50,898
in Durndle.
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00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,365
(gasps)
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00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,575
Okay, students, circle up!
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00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,665
Today, the only muscle
you'll be stretching
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00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,999
is your noggin.
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00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,584
What happened to kickball?
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00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,954
Gone. Over. Eliminated.
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00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:08,082
Effective immediately,
all classes, including gym,
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00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,049
will be teaching math
and reading
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00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,552
to help prepare you
for the test.
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00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,342
Okay. Dooley!
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00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,807
I've got a five-pound
medicine ball in this hand
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00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,723
and a ten-pound medicine ball
in this hand.
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00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,517
If you were to multiply
the weightage
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00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:25,391
of both balls together,
what would you get?
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00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,313
I pass.
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00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:28,526
Oh, for...
(groans)
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00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,485
Hill?
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00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:33,065
Can you use it
in a sentence, please?
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00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,073
What?
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00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:36,485
I just did,
you little Knucklehead!
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00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,788
We're never gonna
pass this test.
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00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,337
These dumb-dumbs
can't even do simple math.
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00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,084
Kleehammer, you're
not the only one
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00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,335
under some stress here.
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We're all freaking out.
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How about this?
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00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:57,589
Uh, during the test,
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00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,307
we could just move
three smart kids
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00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,425
around each dumb kid.
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00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,098
You know they're gonna cheat.
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00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,094
What if we happen
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00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,062
to find some marijuana
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00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,149
in some of the
dumb kids' lockers?
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00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,107
Wait.
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00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,446
Think I might have
found a technicality.
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00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,492
(moaning)
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00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,165
EMILY:
Bobby Hill,
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00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,038
Principal Moss needs you.
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00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:33,963
Now!
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00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,603
MOSS:
Okay, kids,
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00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:46,596
listen up.
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00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,098
In a few minutes, Mr. Terkelson
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00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,351
from the district's gonna
be here to evaluate
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00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,569
whether you're
a special needs child or not.
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00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,108
Special needs?
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00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,983
But I'm not special needs,
Principal Moss.
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00:05:56,982 --> 00:05:58,108
Well, Bobby, I think you should
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00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,076
let the expert decide.
Wait.
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00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,411
Maybe he's right, Carl.
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00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,497
Maybe he will pass
the evaluation.
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00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,582
Then, you can go back
to your regular class
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00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:07,201
and continue studying
day and night
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00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,079
for the standardized test,
which you'll probably fail.
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00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,089
Let me bottom-line this
for you, kids.
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00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:15,800
If you don't do so well
on this evaluation,
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00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:18,921
that means you're gonna be
labeled a special needs child,
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00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,343
which means you're
no longer required
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00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,057
to take the standardized test.
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00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,349
Oh, and did I mention...
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00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,096
you'd no longer
have any homework.
152
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,973
That sounds pretty good,
153
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,101
but I still don't think
I'm special...
154
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,102
And you get to go
on the field trip
155
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,820
to Alamo Land next week.
156
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:41,110
But I thought that trip was only
for the kids on the honor roll.
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00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,487
Well, it would be an honor
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00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,080
for the special needs kids
to come along.
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00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,164
You know what.
I think you're right.
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00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,959
I should let the expert decide.
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00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,379
Okay, children.
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00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:00,254
Does this clown look sad...
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00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,051
or happy?
164
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:13,062
Now, raise your hand
if you think he's happy.
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00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,906
Thank God I'm here.
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00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:22,321
There's so much work to do.
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00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,115
HANK:
Okay, Bobby,
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00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,117
it's time to go
over your algebra.
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00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,087
Your mom left some flash
cards to help you study.
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00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,081
I don't have to study anymore.
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00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,082
Why is that?
172
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,959
It's all explained here.
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00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,012
Special needs?
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00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,381
What the hell?
175
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:47,555
Now, excuse me,
I have a special need
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00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,053
for something dipped
in chocolate.
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00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,488
No homework, no tests.
178
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,107
Why would they put
him in that class?
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00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:04,109
He doesn't have any
learning problems.
180
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:07,409
Maybe this explains
why he hates taking tests
181
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,532
and why his grades are so bad.
182
00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:11,625
I swear to you now, Hank,
183
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:15,541
I will love that boy
no matter how special he is.
184
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:23,595
Oh, my sweet, sweet boy,
look at you.
185
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:26,305
You come here.
Come give your mama a hug.
186
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,844
Okay.
187
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,472
(sobbing):
Oh, you...
188
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,562
Carl!
189
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,784
(sighs)
Dang it.
190
00:08:56,119 --> 00:09:00,044
Do you know where the, uh,
special needs class is?
191
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:14,471
Excellent.
192
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,690
Fine motor skills, Dooley.
193
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,025
You're the class
super-duper champ
194
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:21,278
of the morning.
195
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,021
Excuse me.
I'm Hank Hill,
196
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,610
Bobby's father.
197
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,108
You must be
Mr. Terkelson.
198
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,654
Yes. Can I help you?
199
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,993
Hey, Dad.
200
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:32,364
Uh, yeah, I'd like a word
with you outside.
201
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,786
Class, you can rest your eyes,
202
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,160
but no sleepies.
203
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,911
I'll be right back.
204
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,044
Mr. Terkelson, my boy
205
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,383
doesn't belong in your class.
206
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,671
He was just put here
207
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,965
so he wouldn't take
the standardized test.
208
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,258
Test? He...
209
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,723
he shouldn't be taking
any standardized test, Mr. Hill.
210
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,809
Not until I can fully evaluate
his condition.
211
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:54,269
There is no condition.
212
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:58,015
That boy is about as normal
as you or, well, as me.
213
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:01,105
Sadly, 20 years ago,
you would have been right.
214
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,069
Bobby would have
been labeled normal.
215
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,063
Those truly were the dark ages
216
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,652
of public education.
217
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,116
Let me ask you something.
218
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,987
Have you ever found a kid
who wasn't special?
219
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,279
No.
220
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,498
Mr. Terkelson, I want my boy
221
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:18,164
taken out of this
ridiculous class immediately
222
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,082
or I'm going to the district.
223
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,957
Sorry, Mr. Hill,
I am the district,
224
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,458
and your son is staying
225
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,085
until he gets the care he needs.
226
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,884
Okay, we're gonna have
to skip P.E. today
227
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,096
because I don't have enough
228
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:34,059
first-place ribbons
to go around.
229
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,095
(sighs) That class
is ridiculous.
230
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,723
If the school's spending
all their time and money
231
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,724
on these kids, who's taking care
232
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,271
of the kids
who really need help?
233
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,987
I was evaluated when
I joined the military.
234
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,323
The tests said
I was "dull normal."
235
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,941
I, for one, am relieved
236
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:52,114
that Joseph has been labeled
special needs
237
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,363
'cause that means
it's not my fault.
238
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,868
Ah.
239
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,867
Yep, not my fault.
240
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,754
We got most of the "D"s
and "C"s accounted for.
241
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,588
Once we take care
of any possible wild cards,
242
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:05,673
we'll be home free.
243
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,088
Look,
244
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,086
that kid is just
staring into space
245
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,054
as if our jobs
weren't on the line.
246
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:13,468
I'm on it.
247
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,260
Come with me, Jack,
248
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,103
and leave your books.
249
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,189
You're not gonna be needing them
where you're going.
250
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:31,024
(giggling)
251
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,447
Hi, I'm Bobby.
252
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:37,118
Preliminary attention disorder
and possibly dyslexic.
253
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,332
We're still waiting
on the test results.
254
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:42,828
And this is Joseph...
Articulation disorder.
255
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,329
I got it bad, dude.
256
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:45,751
I don't want to be here.
257
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,090
I was just daydreaming.
258
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,925
Yeah, we all felt
like you did at first,
259
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:52,546
but then we saw
the ice cream cart.
260
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,468
(gasping)
Do they have fudgesicles?
261
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,011
Three different kinds.
262
00:11:56,007 --> 00:12:00,103
And any time you need a break,
you can ask for beanbag time,
263
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:01,641
which is unlimited.
264
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,978
Oh, and did I mention
265
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,978
that we get to go to
Alamo Land next week?
266
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,274
Really?
Yeah,
267
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:13,025
so when you get evaluated,
don't try to be a hero.
268
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:16,073
Shoot for one right answer
out of every four
269
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,412
and you'll be just fine.
270
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:24,289
Look what I made
in school for you, Mom.
271
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:28,586
Oh, Bobby,
you are my little miracle.
272
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,380
Peggy, he was making those
when he was four.
273
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,799
Ugh, that preschool
was so demanding.
274
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,924
Well, I've got to go practice
my zipper song.
275
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:40,598
I think I can learn it
before the Alamo Land trip.
276
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,937
♪ Down when you tinkle ♪
277
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,602
♪ Up when you're done... ♪
278
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,065
Wait a second, Bobby.
279
00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:49,061
I thought only the good students
were allowed to go on that trip.
280
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:51,438
Hank, the school did not want
to discriminate
281
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:54,816
against the special-needs kids,
so they're letting them go,
282
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:58,070
and I think
it was the right decision.
283
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,497
Now, where was I?
284
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,536
Oh, yeah.
285
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,534
♪ Congratulations ♪
286
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:07,128
♪ You've made
a number one. ♪
287
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:16,087
Okay, Melissa.
288
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:19,432
The logarithm to the base three
of nine is?
289
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,802
Uh, three?
290
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,098
Three.
291
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,687
No, not even close!
292
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,896
Back of line!
293
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:28,599
Who's next?
294
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,476
Two?
295
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,104
Of course it's two.
296
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,572
Very good, Jamie.
297
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,111
Here's your Fast Pass.
298
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,450
Enjoy your ride.
299
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,991
You can tell Melissa
all about it.
300
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,580
Next!
301
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,870
Feel free to wet yourself.
302
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:47,790
The splash at the bottom
will cover your shame.
303
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,253
Your dad's so cool.
304
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,464
I don't know
why my parents hate him.
305
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,335
Whoa,
306
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,884
there's a six-person maximum
on this ride.
307
00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:59,005
Park rule.
308
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:02,054
But, but my girlfriend's
on that ride.
309
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,062
Oh, man, that's totally
a make-out ride.
310
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,806
You can't leave her alone
with Dooley.
311
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:10,729
Do something, Bobby.
312
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,102
Excuse me, sir.
313
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,648
We are special-
needs children
314
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:16,818
and we are required by state law
315
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,488
to stay with our buddies
at all times.
316
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:23,079
Uh, okay, go ahead.
317
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,829
It has begun!
318
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,046
Look at me.
319
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:36,509
I'm flume-surfing.
320
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,845
That is so cool.
321
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:41,760
Dude, I can do it, too.
322
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:57,113
We are approaching
the bottomless pit drop.
323
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,608
Brace yourselves.
324
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,086
(screams)
325
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:23,716
Wingo!
326
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,308
Gribble, where your dumb kids?
327
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,974
Oh, my God,
the special-needs kids!
328
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,520
They're in the water!
329
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:38,693
(yelling playfully)
330
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,118
What are the special-needs kids
doing here
331
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,582
without any supervision?
332
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:50,951
Who let this happen?
333
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,203
Whoever it was, they're
going to pay for this.
334
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:06,091
Mom, I'm fine, really.
335
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,513
I cannot believe
they let this happen to you.
336
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,352
Somebody will pay for this.
337
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:13,097
Bobby shouldn't have been
on that trip to begin with,
338
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,099
and if anything,
this is his fault.
339
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:19,024
He's the one who made that guy
jam ten kids on the log flume.
340
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:20,814
Oh, lay off him, Hank.
341
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:24,283
He might not know what ten is.
342
00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:25,948
MAN (over television):
Miguel Hernandez,
343
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,490
live from Alamo Land
Amusement Park
344
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,491
where earlier today a group
of special-needs children
345
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,333
narrowly and miraculously
346
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,123
avoided disaster after falling
347
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:37,292
out of the Falls of Fury
log flume ride.
348
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:38,289
Your thoughts.
349
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,506
I just don't know
350
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,093
why these special ed kids
were even on this trip.
351
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,631
I didn't see a chaperone
352
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:46,256
and none of them were wearing
protective head gear.
353
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,724
And I know the principal
knew all about it, too.
354
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,514
Excuse me, we have just received
355
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:53,434
an exclusive photo
of the near-disaster.
356
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,806
Let's go right to it.
357
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,606
STU:
You're in deep.
358
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,108
The district's out for blood.
359
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:08,737
I wish I could help you,
but they want your job.
360
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:11,615
But Stu, I've been a principal
half my life.
361
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,992
I'm not qualified
to do anything else.
362
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,834
What were you thinking, Carl?
363
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:16,952
You know you're not supposed
364
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,081
to take the special-needs kids
off campus,
365
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,423
let alone to an amusement park,
366
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,007
without getting
district approval.
367
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:26,091
Listen, Stu, those kids are no
more special than you and me.
368
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,259
They were never in any danger.
369
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,802
I-I just put 'em
in that class
370
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,800
so we could pass
the standardized test.
371
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:31,767
I-I didn't hear that.
372
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:32,976
You, you can't prove
I heard that.
373
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:37,724
This is still America, right?
374
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,146
The land of second chances?
375
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,028
Hank,
376
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,439
thank God you're here.
377
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,781
You got to help me.
378
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,070
Help you?
379
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,535
Kicking your ass seems
more appropriate, Carl.
380
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,120
I'm just going
to come clean here.
381
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,114
I just labeled those kids
special needs
382
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,661
so they wouldn't take the test.
383
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,034
Of course you did.
384
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,330
I'm really stuck here.
385
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,249
I don't have anyone
to take the blame.
386
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,997
Emily's too young
to take the fall
387
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:04,092
and everybody thinks Dale
Gribble's a special-needs kid.
388
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:07,929
You have to let those kids
take the standardized test.
389
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,014
If they pass,
it'll prove they're not special;
390
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:13,096
they're just a bunch of kids
acting like jackasses,
391
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,687
and that you didn't do anything
wrong... a-at that moment.
392
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:19,683
But those kids will never pass
that test.
393
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:22,356
All they need is to be
pushed a little, Carl.
394
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,024
That's all they ever needed.
395
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:27,115
I guess we can try
educating 'em.
396
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,108
(pop melody plays)
397
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,110
♪ Bright lights,
the music gets faster ♪
398
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,659
♪ Look, boy, don't check
on your watch ♪
399
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,907
♪ Not another glance ♪
400
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:43,085
♪ I'm not leaving now, honey,
not a chance ♪
401
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,505
♪ Hotshot,
give me no problems ♪
402
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:51,097
♪ Much later, baby,
you'll be saying never mind ♪
403
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:55,639
♪ You know life is cruel,
life is never kind ♪
404
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,104
♪ Kind hearts don't make
a new story ♪
405
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:01,099
♪ Kind hearts don't grab
any glory ♪
406
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,066
♪ We're the kids in America ♪
407
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,351
♪ Whoa-oh ♪
408
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:06,025
♪ We're the kids in America ♪
409
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,484
♪ Whoa-oh ♪
410
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,484
♪ Everybody lives
for the music-go-round ♪
411
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,828
♪ La-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪
412
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,412
♪ La-da-da-da-
da-da-da a'
413
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:16,656
♪ Say! ♪
414
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,533
♪ We're the kids in America ♪
415
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:19,533
♪ Whoa-oh ♪
416
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,831
♪ We're the kids in America... ♪
417
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,704
All right, kids, it's test time.
418
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:26,048
You worked real hard this week,
and I'm proud of you.
419
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,963
I have
420
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:30,052
every confidence
that you'll knock that test
421
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,387
out of the park today.
422
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,882
Now, go get 'em!
423
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,646
(school bell rings)
424
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,018
Well, I give you credit, son.
425
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,066
You worked hard and it paid off.
426
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:51,073
Well, I knew all along
he was going to pass.
427
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:54,361
I guess our boy is
special after all.
428
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,112
I'll see you later
429
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,410
and please stop using that word.
430
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:01,376
Well, it's a shame
the school failed again.
431
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,462
I heard the scores actually
went down from last year.
432
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,296
Well, I guess
you cannot blame the district
433
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,710
for shaking things up.
434
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,584
We're lucky they didn't shut
the whole school down.
435
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:10,709
(whistle blows)
436
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,052
Yeah, but I don't know how great
of an interim principal
437
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,182
Coach Kleehammer is going to be.
438
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:21,479
Study up today, maggots.
439
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,269
I wonder what's going
to happen to Principal Moss.
440
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,858
Well, he'll pull through.
441
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:26,851
You know Carl.
442
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,569
He's a survivor.
443
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,063
(tires screeching)
444
00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:34,116
Good Lord, Carl,
I almost hit you.
445
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:35,109
Sorry about that, Hank.
446
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,907
It's just that we got
a new product
447
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,121
everyone at the company's
real excited about
448
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,582
and I didn't want you and yours
to miss out on it.
449
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,121
You're selling steaks?
450
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:45,336
Not really. These things
sell themselves.
451
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,624
Take a look at this beauty.
452
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,043
Hmm.
453
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:51,087
I never heard
of a J-bone.
454
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,926
Help a brother out, guys.
455
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,044
I need to keep
my medical current
456
00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:55,713
until my suspension's over.
457
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:56,839
I got that disease
458
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:59,058
where you wake up in
strange places drunk.
459
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,557
(whimpers)
460
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:07,562
Uh, put us down for five,
I guess.
461
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,820
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
462
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,074
KAHN:
Gribble, where your dumb kids?
463
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:08,500
Ripped By mstoll
463
00:22:09,305 --> 00:23:09,156
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