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Ripped By mstoll
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(tire squeaking)
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Bobby, your tire is flat.
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I know.
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Well, why didn't you change it?
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Eh, this gets the job done.
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Sorry about your boy, Hank.
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(sighs)
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If Bobby doesn't learn
to take care of himself,
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he's going to go from a kid
who can't change a bike tire
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to a man who can't
change a car tire.
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Well, maybe his wife
will be handy
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with that sort of thing.
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Did ya'll hear about
Maxine Sweeney resigning?
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"Arlen Welcome Wagon Lady
No Longer Welcome in Arlen.
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Really?
Let me see that.
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It says she's
been swiping coupons
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from the welcome baskets
for years.
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That's not all.
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I heard her husband
caught her welcoming
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one of the new guys in her car.
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Well, Maxine's humiliating
public loss is my gain.
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Welcome Wagon Lady
is the most prestigious
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volunteer position in town!
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With her out, this could be
the new face of Arlen.
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(squeals, giggles)
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This is so much fun!
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Gossiping and socializing
with other married women!
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But that part is over now.
Lucky!
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Ladies, lemonade is served.
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Unfortunately, we have to drink
out of Lucky's bachelor glasses.
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I was hoping someone would
buy us real married glasses
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for our wedding,
but none of you did.
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So, Luanne and I
have decided it's time
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to collect our rightful
wedding gifts from everyone.
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Enjoy your beverages.
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We'll be coming for you later.
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(Bobby grunts)
Dang it!
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Bobby?
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Hey, can you grab
that cereal for me?
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This bread's too squishy
to knock anything down.
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Bobby, there's a stepladder
right there.
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Right.
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(sighs)
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Arlen and I have
some wonderful news.
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I have been named our town's
new Welcome Wagon Lady.
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All right, Peggy.
Way to go, Mom!
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And I already have
my very first family.
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Wesley and Annette Cherish.
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Formerly of Fort Worth,
husband is an accountant.
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Wife is apparently fertile
because they have six children.
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What's their pet situation?
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Please say monkey.
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I do not know,
but your father and I
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will find out when
we visit them tomorrow.
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Wait. Why do I have to go?
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Because when I say, "Hi, I'm
Peggy Hill, and this is my..."
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there has to be something there.
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PEGGY: And then there's the
farmer's market every Tuesday.
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Now, I don't want
to give too much away,
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but I hope you like corn.
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We love corn.
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Boy, the way you make it sound,
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if Arlen wasn't in Texas,
I'd think it was in heaven.
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Dad, we're done
cleaning our room.
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Is there anything else
we can do to help?
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Well, you can say hello
to Mr. and Mrs. Hill.
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This is Robin
and Kerri, our oldest.
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BOYS:
Nice to meet you.
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Couple of nice boys
you got there.
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We think they're pretty great.
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We're looking to
get them involved
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in the Order of
the Straight Arrow.
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00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,454
Do you know who runs
a local chapter?
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00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:04,169
Well, actually,
we don't have one anymore.
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Once American Idol caught on,
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it got kind of tough
to schedule a meeting.
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But we do have many other
great children's activities.
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There's, uh, the-the arcade.
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Very popular, arcade.
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Oh, and the kids
love hanging out
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at the Whattaburger parking lot.
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Well, what on earth
do they do there?
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Well, break glass
bottles, mostly.
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Shame.
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You know, I'd be happy to get
the Arrow going again here
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if I had some help.
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What do you say, Hank?
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Want to change some lives?
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Well, you know, this could be
great for our son, Bobby.
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I'm in!
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See, when Arlenians put
their minds to something,
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there is nothing we can't do.
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Except for that AIDS walk.
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We just couldn't get that
together.
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BILL: I can't believe the
Straight Arrow is back!
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This is so exciting!
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00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,845
Well, I'm glad it's back
for Bobby's sake.
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00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,839
The Arrow is just
what the boy needs
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to learn some resourcefulness
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and stop being,
you know... the way he is.
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Well, Joseph won't be joining.
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00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:09,018
Thanks to my tutelage,
he's a level six survivalist.
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He's been trained to use boys
like yours as food and shelter.
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(chuckling) Check out
these handsome fellas.
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Look how happy I was there.
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That little guy didn't know
what was going to hit him.
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Hey, look, it's my
old Arrow knife.
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This fellow helped me
make a fishing pole,
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cut more twine
than I can remember.
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Now Bobby will get to do
all those things, too.
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No!
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Hello, former wedding guest.
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As you may recall, Luanne and I
were bonded in holy matrimony,
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and you were there
to witness said event.
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Oh, yes, beautiful ceremony.
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You didn't get us a gift!
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Uh, sure I did.
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I got you... a star!
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But I can't eat off a star!
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The Gribbles prefer a
romantic gift to the practical.
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00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,115
Point is, our obligation
is fulfilled.
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00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,083
I'll be awaiting
your thank-you note.
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We're going to need
to change our strategy.
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Greetings, fellow troopers!
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I'm Arrowmaster Wesley.
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Who's ready to have some fun?
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(cheering)
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And who's ready to learn
some self-reliance?
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(cheering)
Huh?
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Assistant Arrowmaster Hank
is right.
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The Arrow is going to teach you
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00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,900
to be courageous,
independent men.
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And we're going start by
building our first fire.
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All right, let's get outside
and collect some wood.
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Oh, that's not necessary, Hank.
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00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:45,868
We're building them right here.
139
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:46,865
Inside?
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00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,414
Building a fire
is like building a house.
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00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:53,000
You start
with a strong foundation.
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00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,465
Then come the walls
and the roof,
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and finally a family of flame
to live inside.
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(fan starts)
Whoosh!
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00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:07,435
Okay, troopers,
now it's your turn.
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00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,395
That was, uh, creative.
147
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,108
But don't you think
the kids should learn
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00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,603
how to, you know,
make a real fire?
149
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,231
Oh, no, Hank,
that's too dangerous.
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00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,073
Do you want Bobby to get burned?
151
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,034
I don't know. Maybe a little.
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00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,245
(laughing):
You're funny.
153
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Hey, what do you say we hand out
the Arrow knives?
154
00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,658
Oh, good, the knives.
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00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,460
What the heck is this?
156
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,624
Great, huh?
157
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,418
Well, it's a toy.
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BOBBY:
Hey, Dad, look!
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00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,425
My fire's roaring!
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Hey, Mom, Straight Arrow
is the best.
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Everyone's super nice
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and we made these cool replica
Native American necklaces.
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Oh, it's very pretty, honey.
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00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:03,241
Sounds like Bobby
had a great time today.
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00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,110
But don't Indian necklaces
usually have
166
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an eagle claw or a bear tooth?
167
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:10,202
(sighing): Wesley thought
they were too pointy.
168
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,918
Something about
that guy seems off.
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He had the kids
build a fake fire.
170
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It was just lame.
171
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,674
Did you say that to him?
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Is he upset?
Is he moving?!
173
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,628
I just welcomed him!
174
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,426
Well, I didn't say anything,
but I feel like I should.
175
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:29,058
The last thing Bobby needs
is more "pretend" time.
176
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,473
Hey, Hank.
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00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,475
Boy, this was a
great idea you had,
178
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:40,479
sitting down for a little
Arrow brainstorming session.
179
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,446
Well, we owe it to the kids
180
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,909
to plan some, you know...
useful activities.
181
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,323
Come on. Let's powwow
in the TV room.
182
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,538
Annette's home-schooling
in the den.
183
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,755
This is the TV room?
I don't see a TV.
184
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,458
But... how do you
watch the game?
185
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,005
The football game?
186
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,378
(chuckling):
Oh, no.
187
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,221
We discourage the kids
from predatorial sports
188
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,932
like football, basketball, tag.
189
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:14,896
Uh, so I was thinking we could
do a lesson on tying knots.
190
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,765
Then we could use them
to make something fun,
191
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,312
like a bow and arrow.
192
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:21,653
Whoa, bow and arrow is a
little too "hunty-killy."
193
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,611
Don't you think?
194
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,695
But you know what we could make?
195
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,442
A dreamcatcher.
196
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:29,786
Yeah, that sounds awful.
197
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:32,406
You know, Wesley, back when I
was in the Straight Arrow,
198
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,291
we did a lot more
"active" activities.
199
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,455
Well, the kids
are still learning
200
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,169
the same skills we did, Hank.
201
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:40,459
Just in a safe,
controlled environment.
202
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,957
No risk, no danger.
203
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,924
But...
Daddy!
204
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,634
During recess we usually
take a family walk.
205
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:52,434
Would you like to join us?
206
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,436
Nope, uh, I'm good.
207
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,443
(knocking)
208
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,823
We've come for
our blender, Kahn.
209
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:10,911
I want to crush ice
with the touch of a button!
210
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,449
Have you been huffing paint?
211
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,038
It's 3:00
in the morning!
212
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,283
You didn't get us
a wedding gift,
213
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,000
so, now, we're here to collect.
214
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:21,121
Look, we have a year
to buy you a gift.
215
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,465
And, how should I
put this delicately?
216
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,675
We don't think your
hillbilly marriage
217
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:26,884
going to last that long.
218
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,378
Come back in a few months.
219
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:32,724
We're not leaving
without our small appliance.
220
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:37,429
Oh, would you like it
in chrome or buttercup yellow?
221
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:47,147
He didn't even allow you
the dignity of pants.
222
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,445
I hate this Wesley guy.
223
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,989
You know what we're doing
instead of a campout?
224
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,407
A "camp-in."
225
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,156
Apparently, the woods
are too unpredictable,
226
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,454
so we're spending the night
at the library.
227
00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,167
Man, that dang ol'
disgraceful, man.
228
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,458
Talkin' 'bout won't
let kids be kids, man.
229
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:05,457
Exactly. Kids are supposed
to get dirty and get hurt.
230
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:06,708
We did.
231
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:09,461
Sure, we cut ourselves
and burned ourselves,
232
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:13,181
but that's how we learned
things were sharp and hot.
233
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,891
And we turned out all right.
234
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:17,056
Except for Boomhauer's
pinky toe,
235
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,803
wherever she may be.
236
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,817
BOBBY:
Wematanya, guys.
237
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,440
Wematanya, Bobby.
Wematanya, Bobby.
238
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,987
Wematanya, Hank.
239
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,610
Hi, Wesley.
240
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,454
You guys will not believe
what I did last night.
241
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:40,121
Face Kicker 3, level 15.
I owned it.
242
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,459
All right, Bobby.
243
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,452
That's awesome!
244
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,079
What's Face Kicker 3?
245
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,706
Only the best video game ever.
246
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,300
Oh, we don't have
any video games.
247
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,135
Wait, you don't have any...
248
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,846
You guys have got
to see this right now.
249
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,467
WESLEY:
That should do it.
250
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:58,889
We should probably
get on the road
251
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,637
so we have time to
stretch our hammies.
252
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,980
ARROW KIDS: Go, Bobby! Kick him!
253
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,063
Double-kick him.
254
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,558
(thumping sound effects
from video game)
255
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,151
What is the matter with you?
256
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,318
I don't understand.
257
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,440
What did I do?
258
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,444
How could you expose
the troop to this garbage?
259
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,320
You're a bad influence, Bobby,
260
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,697
and I won't have that here.
261
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,198
Hey, back off, Wesley.
262
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,246
Don't talk to my son like that.
263
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,461
Kids, get in the van.
264
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,126
Maybe violence is acceptable
in your household, Hank,
265
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,418
but it isn't here.
266
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:40,469
Where does he get off
criticizing our son like that?
267
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:43,312
That's what you do at home
behind people's backs.
268
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,477
Bobby is a good, normal kid.
269
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,350
Not like his little weirdos.
270
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,569
Has Arrowmaster Wesley called?
271
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,358
Am I kicked out of the troop?
272
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,903
The not knowing is killing me.
273
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,900
You know, Bobby,
maybe it's for the best
274
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,368
if you don't go back.
275
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,454
But I need the Arrow, Dad.
276
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,039
(sighs) Arrowmaster
Wesley was right.
277
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,999
My video games are violent.
278
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:07,462
Making all these faces explode
can't be good for me.
279
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,955
Oh, sure it can, sweetie.
280
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,212
Dad, tell Arrowmaster Wesley
281
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,757
I'll do whatever it takes
to stay in the troop.
282
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,800
Here, destroy this
283
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,595
before it destroys anyone else.
284
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:25,476
How could Wesley
bad-mouth Bobby like that?
285
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:26,973
I'm as mad as if...
286
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:29,442
as if someone made fun
of my own son...
287
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,482
which I don't have, which...
288
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,354
it makes me even more mad!
289
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,448
And now he's got Bobby on board
290
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,613
with his asinine way
of thinking.
291
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,406
What those kids need is a taste
292
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:41,279
of what the Arrow
used to be like.
293
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:44,203
What we got to do is get
that man out of the picture.
294
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,450
Let's see.
295
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,248
Uh, too complicated...
296
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,870
too messy...
297
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,622
we'd need a lion.
298
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,214
Hey, I think I know a way.
299
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:56,052
I'll offer to chaperone a shift
of the Arrow camp-in.
300
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,466
When Wesley isn't around,
301
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,260
the kids can finally experience
302
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,474
some good-natured
Arrow mischief.
303
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:02,467
I like mischief.
304
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,468
I want to help.
305
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,390
Me, too.
306
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,395
If I can reach just one child
307
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,227
through candy and matches,
308
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:11,317
it'll all have been worthwhile.
309
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,439
(fan whirring)
310
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:21,945
Oh, no, campers.
311
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,447
A hungry bear
has entered our campsite.
312
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,869
What do we do?
313
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,831
Make yourself big and noisy.
314
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:32,876
(all growling and hollering)
315
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:33,998
Well done.
316
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,841
You scared that bear away.
317
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:38,715
Isn't this fun, Hank?
318
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,305
Oh, I'm so glad you
came around to our side.
319
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,765
I think you'll see Bobby
320
00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:45,385
will really benefit
from this environment.
321
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,477
Well, look at that.
322
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,391
Time for you to go.
323
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,476
Already? Wow.
324
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,474
Thanks again for taking
the midnight shift.
325
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:54,478
The kids say the family bed
seems empty without me.
326
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,070
See you in the AM.
327
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,413
He's gone.
328
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,198
Put down those books, kids.
329
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,324
We're gonna show you
330
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:11,328
what an Arrow campout
was like in my day.
331
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:15,457
Dad, this isn't part of
Arrowmaster Wesley's itinerary.
332
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,925
Campouts don't have itineraries.
333
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,441
♪ ♪
334
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,790
Now, this is a campout.
335
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,460
Hey!
336
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,834
You know, we should let them
run around the parking lot.
337
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,177
(chuckles)
Running on asphalt.
338
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:03,263
Oh, Wesley would love that.
339
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,464
Go on, now.
340
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,218
Remember, you're not having fun
unless you get dirty.
341
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,480
Uh, hey, guys,
that's far enough.
342
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,224
Yeah, come on!
343
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,850
(yelps)
344
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,114
Robin, Kerri!
345
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,824
Ah, dang it, they're gone.
346
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,319
Well, we've still
got five kids left.
347
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,196
That's something.
348
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,699
We have to find them,
and we have to do it fast,
349
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:33,292
because Wesley
is due back here in an hour.
350
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:35,912
(sighs)
Okay, boys, go grab your gear.
351
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,414
You're coming with me.
352
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:38,923
Peggy,
353
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,964
you stay here in case
Robin and Kerri come back.
354
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,927
Guys, I need you to stall Wesley
355
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,888
at his house
to give me as much time
356
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,474
as possible to find
his crazy kids.
357
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,718
Can do. (speaking gibberish)
358
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,344
You bet.
359
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,472
Are you sure about this, Dad?
360
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:55,223
There's no way we can find them.
361
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,475
We'll get lost.
362
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:59,273
Then the people who come looking
for us will get lost,
363
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,066
and we'll lose half the town.
364
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:03,315
Don't worry, son.
No one's getting lost.
365
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,406
We're gonna track them.
366
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:07,444
Everything that moves through
the woods leaves a trail,
367
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:10,287
whether you're a deer
or a 13-year-old boy.
368
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,656
So start looking for signs
369
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,999
like crushed grass,
370
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,992
broken branches, footprints...
371
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,118
What about frosting?
372
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,500
Good eye, son.
373
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,457
Okay, they headed this way.
374
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,050
Let's go.
375
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,930
Fried baloney served on silver.
376
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:31,222
We are midnight-snacking
like kings.
377
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,187
You know, I celebrated
my birthday last month
378
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:37,307
and was very disappointed
with the gift response.
379
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:38,307
You make a list.
380
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,433
I'll call the boys.
381
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:43,863
(sighs) Dang it. I
lost the trail.
382
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:46,983
What we need is a high
vantage point, so we
383
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,235
can see Robin and Kerri.
384
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,451
If we climb this tree,
385
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,695
we might be able to spot them.
386
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,288
But Arrowmaster Wesley
387
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,453
says climbing
only leads to falling.
388
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,916
Not if you're smart about it.
389
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,376
I'll do it.
390
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,879
Great.
391
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,464
Now, remember,
climb with your legs
392
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,879
and be sure of your footing.
393
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:08,888
I see them!
394
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:11,473
Okay, take out your compass
and give us a heading.
395
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,058
Uh... east.
396
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:15,769
That way.
397
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,934
So, what's the plan, Dale?
398
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,483
The old distressed
motorist routine.
399
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,901
We'll tell Wesley
our van is broken.
400
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,446
He'll undoubtedly invite us in
to use the phone
401
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,444
and then offer us
a cup of cocoa,
402
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:35,199
giving Hank plenty of time
to secure the rogue brothers.
403
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,247
BOOMHAUER: Yo, man, heads
up, here-here-here...
404
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:39,619
here he come, man.
405
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,376
Excuse me...
406
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:49,133
(screaming)
407
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,471
It burns!
408
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,433
(screams)
It burns so much!
409
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,468
(tapping)
410
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,811
Quiet, I think I
heard something.
411
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:03,734
It's them.
412
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,480
Now, we can't just
jump out like that.
413
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,402
We'll risk scaring them off.
414
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,157
If we want to catch those two,
415
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,992
we have to get them
to come to us.
416
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,407
Like the way my grandpa uses a
duck call when he goes hunting?
417
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:17,449
Well, exactly,
but a duck call for kids.
418
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:20,827
Dad, I've got an idea.
419
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,463
(Bobby imitating
video game sound effects)
420
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,082
BOBBY:
Yeah, you're toast!
421
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:29,461
Shh... is that Bobby
playing Face Kicker?
422
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,383
What's he doing out here?
423
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:32,631
Who cares?
424
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,678
I want to kick some faces.
425
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,436
Okay, boys, fun's over.
426
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,436
WESLEY:
My boys!
427
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:48,479
Oh, Robbie, Kay-Kay,
428
00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:50,322
are you all right?
429
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,440
The kids are fine.
430
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,363
We were just outside
getting some fresh air
431
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:56,325
and, uh, you know,
listening to the crickets.
432
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,321
DALE:
Sorry, Hank.
433
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,039
We told him everything.
434
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,283
He wouldn't stop spraying.
435
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,751
How could you be
so irresponsible,
436
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:06,122
letting these boys run
around and eat cupcakes
437
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:08,090
like a pack of wild animals?
438
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,299
Irresponsible?
439
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,759
I let them outside.
440
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,094
I gave them some sugar.
441
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:13,087
So what?
442
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,634
They needed to have some fun.
443
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,474
Oh, so you think you know
what's best for my kids?
444
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:20,015
Robin has ADHD.
445
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:22,433
And Kerri's hyperglycemic.
446
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,144
Uh, sorry about the, uh, fun.
447
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:29,487
How I raise my children
448
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,446
is my business, not yours.
449
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,407
Come on, boys,
let's get you home
450
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,739
and check you for ticks.
451
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:39,663
Huh.
452
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:42,124
He, uh, has some good points.
453
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:43,789
I feel terrible, Hank.
454
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,707
I had no idea
how emotionally involved
455
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,331
I'd become
with my Welcome Wagon families.
456
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,752
I cannot take the stress.
457
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:50,966
I am out.
458
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:55,430
BOBBY: Hey, Dad, we want to
learn more cool Arrow stuff,
459
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,469
like what you taught us
in the woods.
460
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,092
Totally. Please. Yeah.
461
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,468
We brought back some sticks.
462
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,970
Can we make something
fun with them?
463
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,396
Well, sure.
464
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:06,853
How about we whittle
a fishing spear.
465
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,396
Here, you'll need this.
466
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,482
Cool.
467
00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:13,106
HANK: Now, remember, when
you open a pocketknife,
468
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,448
you need to keep your hand...
469
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,441
BOBBY:
Ow!
470
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:16,442
HANK:
Are you okay?
471
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,035
Uh, you might want
472
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:20,029
to hold your hand
above your head.
473
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,407
BILL (screaming):
It burns so much!
474
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:07,500
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474
00:22:08,305 --> 00:23:08,516
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