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Support us and become VIP member
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Ripped By mstoll
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Yep.
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00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,710
Mm-hmm.
5
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,546
Did you guys watch last night's
episode of Survivorguy?
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00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,167
I can't believe he used
a snake like a lasso
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00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,884
to swing across that ravine!
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00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,549
That was amazing.
Dang ol' hardcore, man.
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00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,513
Survivorguy's not tough.
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00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:49,805
I've been using snakes as lassos
since the second grade.
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00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,974
Dale, the man braves
the world's roughest terrain,
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00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,439
armed only with willpower
and a knife.
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00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:58,855
He's the greatest
American hero ever born.
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00:00:58,850 --> 00:00:59,976
In Canada.
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00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,400
Okay, you want to see willpower?
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00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,898
For the next seven days,
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00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:07,743
I will eschew modern luxuries
and live entirely off the land.
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00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,987
I'll even postpone date night.
19
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,204
Date night?
20
00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:12,823
Every Friday, Nancy and I share
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00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,951
a romantic evening on the town.
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00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:17,996
And we don't go home until
Nancy's out of money.
23
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:19,212
Huh.
24
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,172
I haven't taken Peggy
on a date since...
25
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,967
Huh.
26
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,928
Hank, man, you talkin' about
that thing about women, man,
27
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,181
you got to keep that dang
ol' flame alive, man,
28
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,594
pitch woo, too, man.
29
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,763
Woo, huh?
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00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,432
Well, I did see a coupon
to the Pasta Garden
31
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,930
in the Sunday paper.
32
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,978
A free iced tea with
the purchase of any appetizer.
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00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,851
I'd love to take
advantage of that.
34
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:44,071
I hope Peggy knows
how lucky she is.
35
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,992
Hey, there...
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00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,236
beautiful.
37
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,908
Hank, what are you doing?
38
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:54,998
I am approaching you
with romantic intent.
39
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:58,290
Peggy, will you go
on a date with me this Friday?
40
00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,537
A date?
41
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,755
Why? We're married.
42
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,920
Wait, are you gonna
tell me something awful
43
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,963
in a public place
so I won't make a scene?
44
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,131
Na!
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00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,300
Can't a husband
take his wife out on a date?
46
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:10,673
I want to show you off.
47
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:11,889
Is that crazy?
48
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,510
It is the sanest thing
you've ever said.
49
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,806
But what about Bobby?
50
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,179
Friday is our game night.
51
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,227
Bobby's 13 years old.
52
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:21,316
I don't think he wants
to spend Friday night
53
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,560
with his parents anymore.
54
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:25,233
Come on, we could make this
a regular thing.
55
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,981
Like cleaning the gutters
or re-grouting.
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00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,530
Hank Hill,
if you treat me as tenderly
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00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,993
as you treat those gutters,
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00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,953
it's gonna be quite a night.
59
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:40,544
Guess who found a bottle of
Old Spice underneath the sink?
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00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:41,536
Mmm.
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00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:42,833
(laughs)
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00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:43,830
BOBBY:
Ladies and gentlemen,
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00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,127
game on!
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00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:48,218
Okay, last week, things
got a little hot,
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00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,963
but I promise not to flip
over the board tonight.
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00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:54,762
Honey, your father and I
are going out on a date.
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00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,637
We were thinking of making
Fridays our regular date night.
68
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,309
Date night?
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00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,977
Oh, you got me!
70
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,270
Okay, you can be the little car.
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00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,609
Nice bluff, Mom.
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00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:10,483
Wait, you're serious?
73
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:11,699
Come on, Bobby.
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00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,320
I know the box says
ages eight to 80,
75
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,913
but it's supposed to drop
off a bit in the middle.
76
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,248
Fine.
77
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,914
I'll hit the mall with Joseph
and his football buddies.
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00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:24,163
But don't blame me when
your dinner conversation stinks!
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00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:27,291
Tell you what, we will
pick you up on our way home.
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00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,792
Let's say 9:00?
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00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,669
Fine, great, sure.
See you at 9:00.
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00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:31,841
Have fun. Okay, then.
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00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:38,849
I'm stranded out here in the
wild plains of Arlen, Texas...
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00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:41,472
The Devil's Epiglottis.
85
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,973
As the temperature plummets
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00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:46,773
into the low 60s,
a sturdy shelter
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00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:50,989
is all that stands between me
and certain death.
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00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,404
It's funny.
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00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,994
Out here, I'm so vulnerable
to the elements,
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00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,956
yet more than anything,
I just miss my family.
91
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:04,332
The loneliness,
that's what gets to you.
92
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:07,001
(car door slams, car alarm
chirps, dog barking)
93
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,965
(crickets chirping)
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00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,969
BOBBY:
Date night.
95
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,258
What's that about?
96
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,884
The Hills used to be
a Bobby-centric family.
97
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,682
What if I'm not the center
of their universe anymore?
98
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,896
My dad and I
never do stuff together.
99
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,853
He says it's safer
if we spread out.
100
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,978
I can't believe I'm stuck at
the mall when I should be home
101
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,730
watching my dad
tip over the Jenga stack.
102
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:32,902
The guy's all thumbs.
103
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,407
It's hilarious.
104
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,946
You sure love
your parents, dude.
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00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,281
You're gay.
106
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:43,825
(chuckles)
107
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,917
Look at us, Peggy.
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00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,002
We're on a date.
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00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:48,247
Isn't it exciting?
110
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,123
So, Hank Hill,
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00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,297
do you promise
to have me home by curfew?
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00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,670
Well, sure.
113
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,216
Unless the service is slow,
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00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,511
I don't anticipate
there being a problem.
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00:04:58,507 --> 00:04:59,884
(groans)
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00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:01,968
Oh, uh,
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00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,470
w-we didn't order these.
118
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,893
They're complimentary, sir.
119
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,900
Complimentary salad
and bread sticks?
120
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,903
Hank, did you call ahead
and set this up?
121
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,905
I wish I could take credit.
122
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:17,193
This place just seems
to specialize in class.
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00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,738
I don't care
if she doesn't have a head,
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00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,911
that chick is hot!
125
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,000
(sighs)
126
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,967
You guys keep at it.
127
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:35,961
I'm just gonna go
128
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:38,931
wait outside for my parents.
129
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,557
Uh, are you kicking me
on purpose?
130
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,979
Hank, I am not kicking you.
131
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,443
I am playing footsie.
132
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,731
Oh, right.
133
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:53,944
(chuckles)
134
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,657
You're it.
(chuckles)
135
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,247
(car approaching, Bobby groans)
136
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,957
Finally!
137
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:17,882
Boy, what a meal.
138
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,467
I had no idea
what kind of things
139
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,966
they were putting
inside ravioli these days.
140
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,890
My friends, I hope you saved
room for coffee and dessert.
141
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,729
Actually, coffee sounds great.
142
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,564
Really? Well, in that case,
143
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,979
uh, maybe I'll try
this thing right here.
144
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,353
A wonderful
choice, Mr. Hill.
145
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,275
Our Mount Vesuvius hot lava cake
146
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:37,989
takes about 20
minutes to prepare.
147
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:38,948
Will that be okay?
148
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,280
Go for it, Hank.
149
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:44,655
Lucky for you, I have
a 20-minute anecdote.
150
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,452
When you're eight years old,
151
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:50,248
New Orleans seems like the other
end of the world to you.
152
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,506
(lock clicking)
153
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,962
So this is how it ends.
154
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:04,933
Date night!
155
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:18,151
I wonder if it's too late
for me to coach in the NFL.
156
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,444
I don't need to be
head coach right away.
157
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,364
I'm willing to start out
as an offensive coordinator.
158
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,987
(laughs)
159
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:28,490
Peggy, would you join me
on my side of the booth?
160
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:31,039
Hank Hill,
you are blowing my mind.
161
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:36,915
(sighs)
162
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,588
(cell phone ringing)
163
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,584
Hello.
164
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,710
Hello?
165
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:41,962
That's all you got?
166
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,964
Just what the heck is going on?!
167
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:44,965
What do you mean?
168
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:45,966
We're finishing dinner.
169
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,968
We'll be there
to pick you up at 9:00.
170
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,935
Oh, really?
171
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,973
Well, you might want to
check your watch, buddy boy.
172
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,770
It's 10:30!
173
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:54,766
Oh, my God.
174
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,393
Peggy, it's 10:30:
175
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,485
10:30?!
176
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,478
Where's Bobby?!
177
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,525
Bobby, where are you?
178
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,990
I'm at the Get In/Get Out.
179
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,359
I hope you're happy.
180
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,861
I'm watching prostitutes
buy panty hose.
181
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,703
He's at the Get In/Get Out.
182
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,664
(gasps)
183
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,538
(alarm ringing)
184
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,929
Bobby, uh, sometimes
married people
185
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,763
get caught up in a
meal, and they...
186
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:26,677
Bah!
187
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,634
Honey, the thing is...
188
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:30,931
Don't want to hear it!
189
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,723
Honey, we had...
190
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,066
La-la-la, nope!
191
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:41,904
I can't believe it.
192
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,942
I-I don't leave my sunglasses
in the car overnight,
193
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,319
but I leave my boy
in a parking lot?
194
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,741
If he takes a hammer
to our heads while we sleep,
195
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,240
I would not blame him.
196
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,992
It was an honest mistake,
but we apologized.
197
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,120
Everything will be okay
in the morning.
198
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,166
Right.
199
00:08:57,162 --> 00:09:00,587
He'll be okay in the morning.
200
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:02,459
Hope you enjoyed your dessert.
201
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,802
What's that?
202
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:04,794
Hmm? Nothing.
203
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,552
Oh, Bobby!
204
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,678
Good morning!
205
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,930
How do you figure?
206
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,566
What is this?
207
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,480
Breakfast.
208
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:20,602
But...
209
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:22,900
this is a homemade
chocolate chip waffle
210
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,694
topped with strawberries
and whipped cream
211
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,987
and surrounded by
a bacon perimeter.
212
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,701
Guess I was feeling creative.
213
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:35,208
Oh, Bobby, your father and I
feel so bad about last night.
214
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,793
We lost track of time,
215
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,459
and, well, your father
just had to have this lava cake.
216
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:42,958
So you're saying
this is Dad's fault?
217
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,212
We could spend all day
pointing fingers at your father,
218
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,840
but would that
solve anything, Bobby?
219
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:50,931
Comics?
220
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,519
(both laughing)
221
00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,687
Well, all right.
222
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:00,649
Morning, Bobby.
223
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,855
Morning... Father.
224
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:09,196
Make way for some hot syrup!
225
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:15,240
Thanks, Mom.
226
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:21,166
That meal was
unnecessarily decadent.
227
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,005
It was a breakfast bribe.
228
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,920
She's trying
to make me the scapegoat.
229
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:25,963
KAHN:
Hey, Hank Hill!
230
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,213
I knew rednecks abandoned
cars and refrigerators.
231
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,214
Guess we can throw kids
on the list, too.
232
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,966
(guffawing)
233
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:33,967
Ah, dang it!
234
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,765
Peggy told Minh, didn't she?
235
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,980
She's gonna sell me out
to the entire neighborhood.
236
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,690
(laughs)
237
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:43,185
Sweet, helpless Hank,
238
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,562
you wouldn't last
one day in the wild.
239
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:51,989
Any skilled outdoorsman knows
the female of a species
240
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,488
is always the most fierce
and calculating.
241
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,489
That's why you never
fight a lady monkey.
242
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,991
Yeah, Peggy Hill savage.
243
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,164
She going to turn
your son against you...
244
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,289
Unless you match her
bribe for bribe.
245
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,962
You expect me to bribe my son?
246
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:06,549
Bribe!
247
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,924
Uh, hey, there, Bobby.
248
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,632
About last night, uh...
249
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,727
see, the thing is,
I was all ready to leave
250
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:20,142
when your mother ordered
a cup of coffee.
251
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:25,151
I'm not trying to say your
mother is responsible for this.
252
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:29,523
In fact, that's what
I'm trying very hard not to say.
253
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,149
Uh-huh.
254
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:34,903
HANK:
Uh...
255
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,702
Hey, uh, why don't
you hit the arcade.
256
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,370
Go shoot yourself some...
257
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,242
zombies and such.
258
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,540
Um... okay.
259
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,788
Thanks.
260
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,789
Enjoy, Bobby. On me.
261
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,416
Your dad.
262
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:56,558
First a five-star breakfast
and now free cash?
263
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,723
Dude, your parents are
competing for your love!
264
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,972
You're like a child of divorce!
265
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:05,896
Wow! I didn't know kids with
divorced parents had it so good.
266
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,982
Oh, it's a sweet gig.
267
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,732
My mom and dad are trying
to prove who loves me more.
268
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,359
What should I ask for next?
269
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,282
The Cane Skretteburg concert.
270
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,779
This Saturday night!
271
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:22,000
It'll be wild and loud
and overflowing with chicks!
272
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,744
My parents would
never let me go to that.
273
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,167
It's perfect!
274
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:30,463
Unlike the majestic
North American cow,
275
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:33,257
I can't subsist on grass alone.
276
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:37,554
I'm going to need to hunt
for food if I want to live.
277
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,175
And I do.
278
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,440
Sh-sha!
279
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,899
Sh-shal
280
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:58,237
Dang it, she made him nachos?
281
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,957
(knocking)
282
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,998
(weak sigh)
283
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,667
(quietly):
Come in.
284
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:08,879
Hey, Bobby.
285
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,920
Did you have a good time
with the money I gave you?
286
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,589
Eh. Guess I'm
just feeling
287
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:16,303
a little down today, you know?
Well, sure.
288
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,719
Your mother
chose coffee over you.
289
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,183
That would upset anyone.
290
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:22,518
Oh, I can't stay mad at her.
291
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,387
She does so many little things
292
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:26,731
to let me know
how much she cares.
293
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:30,478
Uh, is there maybe one
big thing someone might do
294
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,570
to show you they care?
295
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,859
No.
296
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,232
Unless...
297
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:38,451
Well, there's a thing
I was hoping to go to
298
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,946
on Saturday night, but... What?
299
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,367
Well, it's a rock concert,
300
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:45,458
and I'd need to stay out
a little past curfew.
301
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,953
Guess I'll just ask Mom.
302
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:48,999
We don't need her.
303
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,121
How much past curfew?
304
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,998
The concert would probably end
305
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,377
at about the same time
I was being offered marijuana
306
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,970
at the Get In/Get Out
the other night.
307
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,760
Oh. Uh...
308
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,976
Well, if it's really
important to you...
309
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:06,221
And I've been thinking,
maybe I should get a new bike.
310
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,973
You know, something that
could safely deliver me home
311
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:12,273
when there's no one
I could count on to pick me up.
312
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,942
I'm, uh...
313
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,655
I-I’ll be back.
314
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:20,776
(door closes)
315
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,324
(chuckles evilly)
316
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:29,452
I think this looks
about right for my son.
317
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,955
Okay, so, do I
wheel it up front?
318
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,753
Hank! What are
you doing here?
319
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:35,420
Peggy!
320
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,963
Uh... nothing.
321
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,836
What are you doing here?
322
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:41,965
Well, I... I also
am here for nothing.
323
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:45,184
Wait. Are you buying
Bobby a bike?
324
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:48,271
That depends... are you buying
him a cart full of toys?
325
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,981
(gasps): Are you
accusing me of bribery?
326
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,975
Are you guilty of bribery?
327
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,727
I...
328
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,981
Oh, Hank, I feel so awful.
329
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,903
I neglected
our sweet little Bobby.
330
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:03,536
He needed me,
and I was not there for him.
331
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:06,873
(sighing): Ah, yeah, we
both messed up, but...
332
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,582
spoiling him with
ridiculous gifts
333
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,952
isn't gonna make things better.
334
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,169
Oh, you're right.
335
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,584
This all started
because of our date night!
336
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,083
He just wanted
to spend some time with us,
337
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,177
and we excluded him.
338
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,806
I know what we have to do.
339
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,971
So... we're
getting the bike?
340
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,435
Not getting the bike?
341
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,974
What am I doing?
342
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:32,975
Joseph, a lesser man would have
stopped at concert tickets.
343
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,147
But I, being a dreamer,
344
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:38,238
sent both my parents
on a shopping spree.
345
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,783
Pardon me a moment.
346
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,408
BOBBY:
Um, hey,
347
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:49,408
you guys need help
unloading anything?
348
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:52,877
The cars are empty, Bobby,
but we are not empty-handed.
349
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:55,964
In fact, we got you
something very special.
350
00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,842
Us!
351
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:02,963
You? You're giving me you?
352
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,964
All you wanted was
to be with your parents.
353
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,888
Well, Bobby,
consider that wish granted.
354
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:10,933
We promise never to leave
you alone ever again!
355
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:14,315
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever!
356
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,993
HANK & PEGGY:
...and five, six, seven!
357
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,283
HANK (chuckles):
Well, how about that!
358
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:31,374
Looks like I'm spending
the night at the Hotel Bobby.
359
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,744
My Triple-A card is registered
in the name of Hank Hill,
360
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,997
though I'm currently
traveling as a shoe.
361
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,670
Will that be a problem,
Mr. Hotel Manager?
362
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,837
(chuckles)
363
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,972
Good morning, Bobby!
364
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:55,814
(gasps)
365
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:56,932
How'd you sleep?
366
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,150
Did you miss us? Ooh!
367
00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,519
We missed you!
368
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,987
Well, I barely slept at all.
369
00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:03,276
I was too excited
about all the things
370
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,570
we're gonna do today
as a family.
371
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,988
More family stuff?
372
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,487
Last night didn't get it
out of your system?
373
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,410
Are you kidding? We're
just getting warmed up.
374
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:12,998
Okay, here's the thing:
375
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:16,415
Hanging out with you guys
is all kinds of great,
376
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,004
but tonight's the concert
at the Funzone.
377
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:20,589
A rock concert?
378
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,424
Bobby, there's nothing fun
379
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,009
about going to a rock concert...
380
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,213
...without your
381
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,932
parents!
Oh, God!
382
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,934
(slurping)
383
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,938
(slurping)
384
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,402
In the wild, there is
no greater survival skill...
385
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,870
Dale,
386
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,989
did you steal this stuff
from the neighbors?
387
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:56,368
No. I trekked through the wild
and foraged for it.
388
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:57,994
Ugh.
389
00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,167
There is no
greater survival skill
390
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:03,883
than the ability to start a fire
without matches.
391
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,883
Lucky for me,
the Arlen plains are rich
392
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:10,882
in natural
propane tank deposits.
393
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:13,304
(hissing)
394
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,474
Come on...
(quiet grunt)
395
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:16,937
(explosion)
396
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,354
Can you feel the electricity?
397
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,948
We are gonna rock it
hard-core tonight!
398
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,489
What do we do till
the show starts?
399
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:34,947
You know,
400
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,663
there's an arcade game
I want to play,
401
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:41,413
but I just remembered,
it's a one-player game, so...
402
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,881
I'll have to play by myself.
403
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:46,467
I'll check you later.
404
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,802
Whew!
405
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,714
It's awful, Joseph.
406
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,637
My only moment of privacy today
407
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,931
was in the bathroom...
And even then,
408
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:58,896
my mom sat outside
the door and sang to me.
409
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,978
Dude, that's pretty weird.
410
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,442
Unless... What song was it?
411
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,903
HANK: Hey, Bobby! Look at me!
Bobby!
412
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,281
I'm skiing! Bobby!
413
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,244
Oh! What happened?
Did you win?
414
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,238
PEGGY: Are you dead? Those
trees are so blurry.
415
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:17,956
I think you're
going light-speed!
416
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,164
Hey, Bobby.
417
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,207
Joseph said you're going
418
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:24,001
to the Cane Skretteburg concert.
419
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,000
We should headbang when
they play "Screeching Weasel."
420
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:30,173
Well, I was planning
to go to the concert, but...
421
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,967
Hi! Peggy Hill!
422
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,964
I love Cane Scattersmith!
423
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:36,012
I also love my son, Bobby!
424
00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:39,854
Um... have fun.
425
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,648
Hank! Grab Bobby's hand!
426
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,517
We'll be a family chain!
427
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,729
No more!
No more family time!
428
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,276
No more following me around!
429
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,741
I can't gotdang take it!
430
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,986
But... you wanted
to be with us.
431
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:57,454
You felt so alone;
you had nightmares.
432
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,198
(groans)
I was faking.
433
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:03,248
Now, don't get me wrong,
I was upset when you forgot me.
434
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,246
I would've gotten over it
eventually,
435
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,749
but then I found
myself at the center
436
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,376
of a full-blown
gift-giving competition.
437
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,799
And that's not
a bad place to be.
438
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:15,139
Your father should not
have tried to pay you off.
439
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:16,553
That was wrong.
Me?
440
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:20,179
Peggy, you woke up at 5:00 a.m.
to cook the boy breakfast.
441
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,225
Only because
he was acting so upset.
442
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,973
He wouldn't even talk to us!
443
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,975
Because you guys left me alone
444
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:29,445
in a scary parking lot
for an hour!
445
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:30,984
Huh.
446
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,574
I guess we all
made some mistakes.
447
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:38,454
But if time to yourself
is what you really want...
448
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:45,081
(rock music playing)
449
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,717
Abbondanza!
450
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,302
Now I guess you're gonna
need a new shelter.
451
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,847
Good thing you're such
a skilled outdoorsman.
452
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,064
Okay, I quit.
453
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,814
(thunder rolling)
454
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:11,608
The skies have grown hostile.
455
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,402
I've got a lot of work to do
456
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,399
if I'm gonna make it
through the night.
457
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,733
CLERK: So... we're getting the bike?
Not getting the bike?
458
00:21:57,942 --> 00:21:58,943
What am I doing?
459
00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:09,500
Ripped By mstoll
459
00:22:10,305 --> 00:23:10,476
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