1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:28,000 Ripped By mstoll 3 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:35,919 Welcome to Speakerz Music. 4 00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:38,130 Can I help you find something? Yes. 5 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,123 I have discovered this new singer. 6 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:43,127 His name is Michael Buble. 7 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,423 He's a crooner. 8 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,547 Huh. I always assumed that 9 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,424 people who wanted to buy that type of music 10 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:51,142 would do it anonymously online. 11 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,478 You can buy music online? 12 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:57,732 Ooh... I, I need the cassette. 13 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,101 Cassette? 14 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,445 Hey, do you have that song that goes: 15 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,064 ♪ Na-na, na-na, squow-squow, nowt ♪ 16 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,154 ♪ Na-na, na-na, squow-squow. ♪ 17 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,698 I'm sorry, I got to... yeah. 18 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,156 ('90s pop music plays) 19 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,158 If you ask me, people gave up 20 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:17,081 on cassingles much too quickly. 21 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,746 (music slows, stops) 22 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:24,047 Huh. Remember that old polygamist compound? 23 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,086 Looks like they turned it into a restaurant. 24 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,301 I had no idea. 25 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,391 I realized something today, Hank. 26 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,431 I don't move and shake the way I used to. 27 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,304 I'm just not as plugged in anymore. 28 00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:36,931 Well, sure you're plugged in. 29 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,308 You're the one who told us about aloe vera. 30 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,145 Am I just going to listen to the same cassettes 31 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,898 and wear the same clothes until the day I die? 32 00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,865 Well, not if they wear out. 33 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,745 Hank, I don't want to be one of those people 34 00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:54,160 who still writes checks at the grocery store, 35 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,375 or wears sweatpants to the mall. 36 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,118 Not yet. 37 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,962 You know, from the dates on these tapes, 38 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:05,300 I lost touch 12... Nope, 13 years ago. 39 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,589 I wonder what happened to me. 40 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,087 Hey, guys. 41 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,713 Hmm, I guess we'll never know. 42 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,471 Hey, Dad? 43 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,719 I was thinking. 44 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,096 One of the things I like most about you 45 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,848 is that you have such good manners. 46 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,145 Thank you. 47 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:24,020 There's this class I can take that could teach me, 48 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:26,113 well, to be more like you. 49 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:29,070 What kind of class is that? 50 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,659 It's called cotillion. 51 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:31,948 "Cotillion." 52 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,162 Isn't that where the girls learn to curtsey 53 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,907 and wave their handkerchiefs and whatnot? 54 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,035 The girls do that, and the boys 55 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,036 learn to be little gentlemen. 56 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,630 And it only takes six Saturdays. 57 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,044 Uh... 58 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:49,007 you know, Bobby, ROTC has an after-school program. 59 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,881 They'll teach you manners and military history. 60 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,598 I think that's a better option. 61 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,967 (sighs) 62 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,309 Here's the deal, Dad. 63 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,144 I'm in a dating rut. 64 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,138 Because of all my comedy bits, 65 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,015 I'm in the friend zone 66 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,358 with the girls at school. 67 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,695 Kids from all over Arlen take cotillion classes. 68 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:09,987 It'll give me a chance to meet new girls. 69 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,154 (sighs) If this is just an elaborate way 70 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,994 for you to get to dress up and parade around... 71 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,533 I'm not going to lie to you, Dad. 72 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,783 I am going to love it! 73 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:21,376 But this girl problem is real. 74 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:25,123 Well, your handshake could use a firmer grip, 75 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,124 and a faster upswing. 76 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,592 Thanks, Dad! 77 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,096 BOY: Yee-ah! (laughs) 78 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,351 (indistinct conversations, laughter) 79 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:43,099 Wow! A whole new crop of girls. 80 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,771 And not one of them has seen my 81 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,736 "flatulent monkey visits the post office" routine. 82 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,980 You know, Bobby, 83 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,152 I think the drunks say it best. 84 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:54,869 Sometimes you have to accept the things you cannot change. 85 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:57,033 Sure, you used to be up on things, 86 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,247 and maybe those days are behind you, 87 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,163 but you still have value. 88 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,251 Huh? 89 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:08,540 Hun Chin Ko. Hun Chin Ko! 90 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,087 She can't wait to get started. 91 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,553 (sighs) 92 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,931 Rafters. 93 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,352 What can I get for you today? 94 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:29,353 Uh, I think I'll try the meat loaf sandwich. 95 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,150 You think or are you sure? 96 00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,524 'Cause once I enter it in, they start making it. 97 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,868 Yes, one meat loaf sandwich, please. 98 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:46,374 Uh, what's the procedure to get a table? 99 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:49,122 Well, you just sit wherever there's an open chair. 100 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,966 We're not "shee-shee" here, it's a barn. 101 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,882 Oh, oh, there's, uh, room at the big table. 102 00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:59,050 Uh, I, I-I don't think you understand. 103 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,310 See, I'm not with those people. 104 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,850 No one's a stranger at the Arlen Barn! 105 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,106 (sighs) 106 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:13,822 Oh, did you hear? 107 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,691 With the new birth control pills, 108 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,910 you only have to have one period a year. 109 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:20,449 That's good, 'cause that patch 110 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,823 makes my boobs really sensitive. 111 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,462 Hm. 112 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:32,128 Mmm... How is it? 113 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,591 Well, let me put it this way. 114 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,006 This table smells like a diaper, 115 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:39,472 and this is still the best meal I've had in years. 116 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,978 (smacking): She loves chips. 117 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,815 (glasses clinking) 118 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,153 Anyone have an aspirin? 119 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,487 All this clinking. 120 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,901 You know, for a while now, 121 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,525 there's been something in the bottom of my purse. 122 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,368 It's either an aspirin or a breath mint. 123 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,159 Here it is... it's covered in lint, but you can have it. 124 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,326 I have some French aspirin. 125 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,539 It's amazing. 126 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,205 (gasps): Cute! 127 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,793 Where did you get that? 128 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,129 This thing? It was in the gift bag backstage 129 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,839 at the Gwen Stefani concert. 130 00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:13,957 There's separate compartments 131 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,130 for Eastern and Western remedies. 132 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,423 Gwen thought of everything. 133 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,762 Ooh! Really? Wow! 134 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:19,970 Oh, I don't know her. 135 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,340 I had to take my daughter Michael. 136 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:24,309 Oh, I think you meant your son Michael. 137 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,518 You just said daughter. 138 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,103 I-I think you meant son. 139 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:30,606 Oh. 140 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,146 (gasps) 141 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,144 Your bag is delicious! 142 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,112 I've been looking for one just like it. 143 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,526 I know, right? 144 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,991 It's made out of vintage Star Wars bedsheets. 145 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,155 My friend makes these. 146 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,323 Well, she did, 147 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,492 before she got cast on Saturday Night Live. 148 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,615 Wow (chuckles). 149 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,168 And that is the proper way 150 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,128 to remove a lady's coat. 151 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,417 Do not yank! 152 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,007 Whew! 153 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,547 Here we go. 154 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,966 May I take your coat, miss? 155 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,714 INSTRUCTOR: Eye contact! 156 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:03,966 Yes, you may. 157 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,889 INSTRUCTOR: Do not yank! 158 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,139 Introductions! 159 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,105 I'm Michael. 160 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,892 What if I told you my name was Amanda? 161 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,145 It's not. It's Bobby. 162 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,942 (laughs) You're funny. 163 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,155 That's major. 164 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,569 "Major"? 165 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,363 Sorry, they use it in Britain. 166 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,361 It means, you know, "cool." 167 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,159 Like perfume that smells like dirt 168 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,952 or numbers used as letters. 169 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:33,128 Sure it's snake poison, but it lasts longer than Botox. 170 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,713 (groans): Judging by how long it took them 171 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,628 to learn how to eat soup, this junkhausen 172 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,877 could go on forever. 173 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,174 Who wants to go to this new wine bar a block over? 174 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,094 Oh, that sounds great. 175 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:48,135 There is nothing like an afternoon Chardonnay. 176 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:51,058 Uh... I'm not sure if they still have that. 177 00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:54,149 They've got mostly Gruner Veltliner and Spanish Duero. 178 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,562 Oh, well, whatever. 179 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:58,152 Pour it in a glass and throw an ice cube and I'm happy. 180 00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,316 (chuckles) 181 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,438 You're fun. 182 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:01,610 You say what you think, 183 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:02,858 like you're already drinking. 184 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,158 Now, I got to warn you... 185 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,531 The DJ spins tons of Danish prog rock, 186 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:11,204 but usually it's stuff you haven't heard. 187 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:14,123 It seems like people who already know about this place 188 00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,917 are the only ones who could ever find it. 189 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,665 Secrets are fun, huh, ladies? 190 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,133 Yeah, about that. 191 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:23,095 Can I get y'all to, um, look away? 192 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,384 It's also a secret where the doorbell is. 193 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,939 He's trained to remove the uncool. 194 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,151 I'm a goner. 195 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:42,523 Okay, Peggy, reject them before they reject you. 196 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,365 Uh, I just saw my ex! 197 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,654 I can't go in! 198 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,284 (gasps) We're in. 199 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,911 You bet I'm in. 200 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,504 And I am never leaving. 201 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,553 Michael is the coolest girl. 202 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,846 She uses words we know 203 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:13,140 in ways that you'd never expect. 204 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,604 And her mother Katt! 205 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,098 She is so hip! 206 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,146 She walks with this interesting straight-legged saunter. 207 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,985 I think I should start doing that. 208 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,814 Stop that. 209 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:26,157 Your gait is fine the way it is. 210 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,447 I want Michael to be my girlfriend. 211 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,992 And I want Katt to be my girlfriend. 212 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,159 (sighs) 213 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,873 Oh, I know it sounds silly, 214 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:36,038 but I need a friend like Katt right now. 215 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,457 How great would it be to have doors open for me 216 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:41,627 and people ask me what I like, so they know what to like. 217 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,546 I would never be out of the loop again. 218 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,090 I'm excited for all of us! 219 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,725 Hank, I'm honored that you'd want 220 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,389 to spend a weekend meal with us. 221 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,057 Uh, no offense, Bill, 222 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,939 but I just need you guys as a buffer. 223 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,353 The only table that's ever open 224 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:02,148 is the big table, and I want to be surrounded. 225 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,111 Still honored. 226 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,402 Go! Grab it! 227 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,698 (sighs): Thank God. 228 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,446 That pregnant woman was fast, 229 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,073 but we wanted it more. 230 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,535 Your surname "Babcock"? 231 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,879 No, it's Dauterive. 232 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,588 Huh. You look like you're a kin 233 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,877 of the Lubbock Babcocks. 234 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,671 (gasps) Tell me about them. 235 00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,044 Well, there's Johnnie Babcock. 236 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,462 He's a racist. 237 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,678 Then there's Donita. 238 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,673 She works for the water department. 239 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,806 How was school today, Ms.... 240 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,144 Good-bye. 241 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,104 Hun Chin Ko, it's improper 242 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,140 to say "good-bye" unless the end 243 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,110 of the conversation is mutually reached. 244 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,646 May we have the next pair, please? 245 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,698 Hey! 246 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,412 Hello, this is Robert Hill 247 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,706 calling for Ms. Michael Savage. 248 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,750 Is she available, please? 249 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,998 You are speaking to Ms. Savage. 250 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,420 Hello, Mr. Hill. 251 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,384 Oh, Mr. Hill is my father. 252 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,504 My friends call me Bobby. 253 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,552 You should call me Robert. 254 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,762 I, I know we just met the other day, 255 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:21,139 but I feel like I've known you forever. 256 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:23,141 I bet in no time we will be 257 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:26,145 completing each other's... 258 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,316 Hi, again. 259 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,689 I want to say Penny. 260 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,110 Peggy. 261 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,153 I must ask: 262 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,902 What is a contemporary woman like yourself 263 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,700 doing in this class? 264 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,789 I mean, cotillion hasn't been cool for, 265 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,157 you know, five years. 266 00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,374 I know. 267 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,164 Cotillion isn't even retro. 268 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,084 But Michael wants me to throw her a fancy birthday party. 269 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,624 So she's going to learn grace and poise 270 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,092 and all that "biz-naz." 271 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,757 Really? You know who loves birthday parties? 272 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,096 My son Bobby. 273 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,882 He pins the tail on the donkey like a surgeon. 274 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,134 We both do. 275 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,977 You know, I still haven't filled up my last table, 276 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,017 and the invites are being delivered tomorrow. 277 00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,107 I should totally invite some of you guys. 278 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,108 Hey, you know what would make me happy? 279 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,447 A meal at the Arlen Barn 280 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:19,118 with my family strategically placed around me. 281 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,957 Now, I warn you, people will try to talk to you, 282 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,123 and that's fine, just don't pull me in. 283 00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:25,836 We cannot go. We're waiting to see 284 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,125 if we scored an invite 285 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,089 to the children's party of the decade! 286 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,129 (sighs); Okay, 287 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,876 Well, I guess I could just 288 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,878 cover my ears with my hands, 289 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,051 but then how would I... 290 00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,640 Headphones! 291 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,139 Mom, we have to get invited. 292 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,558 It... would be... the best! 293 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:44,305 It's true! 294 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,648 Oh, my God! I know! 295 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,688 (both squealing) 296 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,857 You two have lost your minds. 297 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,820 (doorbell rings) 298 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:55,070 (gasps) 299 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,118 Oh, it's just some box. 300 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,370 (gasps) 301 00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:01,865 Wait a minute. 302 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,462 Whoo! Whoo! 303 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,796 See, you are cool. 304 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,587 Hey, let's go celebrate with a sandwich, superstar! 305 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,799 Oh, no. 306 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,591 I have a long way to go before I am cool. 307 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,088 But I will get there. 308 00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,715 (sighs) 309 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,143 Now, Bobby, we have to find out 310 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,685 what's "in," and do/buy/read/hear/wear it. 311 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:29,480 We have got to "ba-ring" it to this party! 312 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:35,523 Those are great. 313 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:36,615 It's nice to see someone 314 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,075 not want the clear frames. 315 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,115 I can't tell you how many people come in and get those. 316 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,871 They're so trendy. I mean... 317 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,865 I'll take the clear frames! 318 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,243 According to a gadgets blogger 319 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:49,462 named "Quaalude," this is the "it" vacuum. 320 00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:50,797 Are you sure? 321 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,961 This one seems more space-agey. 322 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:56,427 Oh, no. Seeing the dust swirl around is so over. 323 00:13:58,713 --> 00:13:59,965 "Frittatas." 324 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,136 Nope. Never tried them. 325 00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:03,476 Bill, the question is not if you have 326 00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:06,392 tried them or not, just if you have heard of them. 327 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,388 Sure, I've heard of them. 328 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,107 "Cuddle parties." 329 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,734 No. Dang 'al nope. 330 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:12,978 I have never heard of those. 331 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,114 "Julia Roberts' niece." 332 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,071 Nuh-uh. Does she also laugh when she's startled? 333 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,364 This is asinine. 334 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,613 Don't you think people should like you for yourself, 335 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:25,161 and not because you know all this nonsense? 336 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,158 I cannot be myself, Hank. 337 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,456 I like socks and Chardonnay. 338 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,129 (startled shout) 339 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,964 (hushed): Son, son, your pants are falling down. 340 00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:34,957 Here, I'll cover you. 341 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,632 This is the style, Dad. 342 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,472 Don't worry, I'm wearing two pairs of underwear. 343 00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:44,968 Think of this outer underwear as part of the pants. 344 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,514 How about you wear pants 345 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:49,060 and I'll think about them as pants? 346 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,683 Bobby, we are ready for this party. 347 00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:54,606 I've even invented a word for how ready we are. 348 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,696 We're "rizzidy." 349 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,742 (sighs): This is so exciting! 350 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,160 This'll be the first time 351 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:10,126 I've ever seen Michael's bare hands! 352 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:13,713 And I am just four marble stepping stones away 353 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,547 from being Katt's BFF. 354 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:18,089 That is "a friend one is very loyal to." 355 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,129 SOPHISTICATED MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, 356 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,131 (classical music playing) making her grand entrance, 357 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:27,102 the birthday girl, Michael Savage! 358 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,683 Hills in the crib! 359 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,352 Aw, yeah! 360 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,065 (music stops) Heavens! 361 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,729 (screaming) 362 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,321 (gasps) 363 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,865 (gasping) 364 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,075 (snickering) 365 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:46,162 Aah! My party is ruined! 366 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,872 My life is over! 367 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:50,037 Michael! Come back here! 368 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,471 Oh, this is so awful. 369 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,431 Maybe nobody noticed. 370 00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:09,098 Erase them! Erase them! 371 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,140 Violet! Cayden! 372 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,809 Check everybody's cell phone. 373 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,152 Oh, Katt, I am so sorry. 374 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:21,148 I thought this was the appropriate attire. 375 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,071 Look, I know you didn't mean to show up and wreck 376 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,114 everything I worked ten months for. 377 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:28,154 Honestly, if it wasn't this, 378 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,248 she'd freak out about something else. 379 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:33,209 Still, I... I regret that we were the cause 380 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,418 of her freak out. 381 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,957 And there she goes. 382 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:38,923 I got to go coax Michael down from the tree house again. 383 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,385 Y'all way ruined Michael's party! 384 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,047 This was supposed to be 385 00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:48,049 the sickest party in the world! 386 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,968 If this is a joke, 387 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,095 it isn't funny, like, at all! 388 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,355 It is totally obstructive! 389 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,476 (gasps) 390 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,397 I'd like to order 391 00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,774 a meat loaf sandwich, please. 392 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,151 That won't be necessary. 393 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,993 I'd like it to go. 394 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,487 Sure. If you'll just have a seat, 395 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,114 we'll bring it right out to you. 396 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:18,212 (sighs): Never mind. 397 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,964 We have got to get out of here. 398 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,803 I have never been that humiliated 399 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,468 in front of that many people. 400 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,056 I definitely have. 401 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,676 But still, that was pretty bad. 402 00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:32,848 (footsteps approaching) 403 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,140 Someone's coming! 404 00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,934 Quick! In here. 405 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,559 I don't hate Kendice, 406 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,233 I'm just saying her mother's a belly dancer. 407 00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,233 (relieved sigh) Whew! 408 00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,119 Oh, my God. 409 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,156 What is this place? 410 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:56,455 It looks like the lair of a crazy human 411 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,748 or a smart animal. 412 00:17:58,744 --> 00:17:59,961 I know, right? 413 00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,001 Aah! Oh, Lord! 414 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,749 Oh, I swear, we were not snooping, 415 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,092 we, we were just trying to find a way out. 416 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,802 (sighs) 417 00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:09,092 I never wanted anyone to see this. 418 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,136 I don't know, maybe I did, 419 00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:12,884 since I didn't keep it locked or anything. 420 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,762 You're not going to lock it now, are you? 421 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,139 Ah, being as cutting edge as I am, 422 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:20,608 it's a full-time job. Seriously. 423 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,570 I wake up when it's still dark to watch the European news. 424 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,404 Then I check in with the club kids 425 00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:26,648 just before they go to bed. 426 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:30,151 I read 142 blogs a day, every day, every hour. 427 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,370 And look at me, I'm texting right now. 428 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,580 Huh. Wristbands are out. 429 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:37,166 Sure, all of this seems crazy. 430 00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:40,128 But I don't know, I guess that's the price you pay for glamour. 431 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,372 I mean, look at this bag. 432 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,373 Mm, that's an Uchi Tomagoi. 433 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,125 It's not coming out for three months. 434 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,126 I believe it. 435 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,924 It looks like it's from the future. 436 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:50,296 I want this bag, 437 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,594 that collage, your life! 438 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,513 Trust me, you don't. 439 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:57,136 See, I follow trends. 440 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,763 All of them, no matter what... 441 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,140 Piercings, colonies, 442 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,392 trendy surgeries, online affairs. 443 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,143 I've even done some street fighting. 444 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,441 You think Katt Savage is my real name? 445 00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:07,484 It's not. 446 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,777 It's Barb Davis. 447 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,778 And now... 448 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:14,995 I'm free. 449 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:18,161 (laughs) 450 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,909 I-I do not understand. 451 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,503 I knew I was drawn to you for a reason. 452 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,122 I must've had a subconscious need 453 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:26,044 to break away from all this. 454 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,044 Oh... so, I am so "uncool," 455 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:31,091 I snapped you out of your hip trance? 456 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,096 Exactly. 457 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:36,099 Peggy, you aren't driven by trends 458 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,515 or fashion or snarky Web sites. 459 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,104 You don't need to be. 460 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,560 You are your own person. 461 00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:44,479 And I think that's way cool. 462 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,363 Well, come to think of it, so do I. 463 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:52,529 So, what are regular people into these days? 464 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,744 For starters, we buy all our makeup 465 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,032 at the grocery store. 466 00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,452 What about me and Michael? 467 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,450 Are we, uh...? 468 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,212 We are not. 469 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,966 MAN (on TV): I had a nightmare I was being chaste. 470 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,801 MAN 2 (on TV): Who was chasing you? 471 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:11,919 No "chaste." 472 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,138 As in "no intercourse." It was horrible. 473 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:15,632 TEENAGE BOY (on TV): What's "intercourse"? 474 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,133 Is that like a car race? 475 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:19,352 (both laughing) 476 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,311 (phone ringing) 477 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,648 Hill residence. 478 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,109 May I speak to "Mr. Robert Hill?" 479 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,861 This is he. 480 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:32,153 "I am calling because I would like 481 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,866 to ask you out on a date." 482 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,656 Yes! (gasps) 483 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:38,120 May I ask who's calling? 484 00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:43,784 (window whirring) 485 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,752 It's done. 486 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,130 Ah! Great. 487 00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,090 Money first. 488 00:20:58,132 --> 00:20:59,475 What the...? 489 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:00,764 Uh, they gave it to me 490 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,854 and it had a bite out of it, you know. 491 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,097 (window whirrs) 492 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,562 (sighs) 493 00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:15,741 Mmm-mm-mm! 494 00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:56,199 COTILLION INSTRUCTOR: Do not yank! 495 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:07,500 Ripped By mstoll 495 00:22:08,305 --> 00:23:08,516 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/79tfy Help other users to choose the best subtitles