[Miranda] Please, I just can't do this anymore.
I'm spending more money than I make.
I keep buying new inventory, but I can't keep up.
I'm doing everything I can to sell more, but I'm drowning.
I put in return requests over two weeks ago.
Miranda, honey, you feel like you're drowning
because you are just fighting against the current.
Uh, you just got to keep swimming in the direction you're going.
We can set you up with a new inventory buy.
I can't buy anymore.
I'm pregnant.
- Oh! - Oh, well, what a blessing.
- That's incredible. - [Richard laughs]
This is even better for you.
Now you can work from home.
Build a life with that.
#MagiqBaby baby.
- Hey. Great sales tool. - Yeah.
I just can't anymore.
I can't. I can't.
Well, if Magiq Baby is not part of your journey right now,
it's not like you're a prisoner.
Mama Debra's right.
Not everyone's built for success.
Now, let's set you up with those returns.
Wait, you think I'm a failure?
Oh, sweetheart. It doesn't matter what we think.
[Debra] No, what matters is how you feel about yourself.
[computer beeps]
[Debra] Magiq Baby isn't just about selling baby clothes, honey.
This is about transformation.
- Self-empowerment. - Mm.
You can have it all if you really want it.
Miranda, do you think of yourself as a failure?
- No. - [Richard] Oh.
No, I'm, I'm not a failure.
I can do this.
Right?
- Of course, you can. - [chuckles]
Honey, you can because you are family.
- [Richard] That's right. - [Debra] Forever.
[chuckles]
Okay.
[theme music playing]
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-
[grunts]
That's it.
[Sophie] Ooh.
Well, that should be enough to reopen the schools, huh?
Pay off the institution's debts?
With quite a bit left over, I reckon.
Who are you?
Eliot, Billy the Gent. He's an old friend.
Friend, co-conspirator. All in the name of crime, right, love?
I told him to meet us here. He said he wanted to talk.
Though, I did say to wait outside.
Oh, I know, but I never see any action anymore.
That's no fun.
Jeez.
[exhales]
So, darling, a mutual acquaintance told me you were still in the game.
And I wondered if you'd be interested in a job.
Mutual acquaintance? Let me guess, is he Irish?
Did he have a big mouth?
The one and only, Arthur Wilde. [clicks tongue]
No, no. I don't do that kind of work anymore, Billy.
But it... it's about my daughter.
You remember Miranda?
Oh, maybe, maybe not. She was barely more than a baby
when that whole business with the crown went down
and Arthur and I ended up in prison.
Her mom brought her to stateside while I was gone.
You can't blame her for that. Now, Miranda and I,
- we're not that close... - Is she in some kind of trouble?
Yeah. She's fallen under the spell of a scam team,
in deep with an MLM.
Multilevel marketing?
Yeah, it is a scam.
They get unpaid workers to sell their product
with a promise of moving up levels for bigger rewards.
They get them to buy more product than they can sell
and turn them into recruiting agents for other victims.
It's a pyramid scheme.
Yeah. It's a legal pyramid scheme.
Her mom says she's nearly bankrupt.
Afraid she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
What are they called?
- Magiq Baby. - [Eliot] Magiq Baby?
The company that sells those cute little baby clothes.
I had an ex... I had... I dated... You know what, I don't have...
Her mom asked me to help,
but it's not exactly my bag.
Now, Arthur said that you...
are something of a do-gooder now, and it never hurts to help an old friend.
Especially one who went to prison for you.
Nope.
Mm-mm. I don't trust him.
Hey, this guy comes out of the woodwork?
Well, it sounds like the girl could use our help.
Do you have a plan?
Yeah.
Breanna's gonna hate it.
Accountant?
Seriously?
This is the best use of my meticulously honed master thievery skills?
Well, at least you're not in the food truck.
They have cutting-edge security to protect a bunch of presentations
written in Comic Sans.
They're pictures of babies. What are they hiding?
Plenty, I imagine.
Debra Prosper.
She's the face of Magiq Baby.
The husband, Richard,
he's run schemes like this before.
He knows how to play it right up to the edge of the law.
[Breanna] This is sus as hell.
The real question is, how am I gonna get my Yes Virus on this?
The Yes Virus.
Once I'm in place, I hack into the system,
put this little bad girl on.
She automatically says yes to every seller return request in the system.
And we bankrupt the company?
Yes!
I'll figure it out.
Don't worry, because I am definitely not worried.
How's the working stiff?
She's having a bit of a Monday.
[computer chimes]
Hello.
- It's 4:00 p.m., Magiq Baby family... - What?
[Debra] ...and that means it's time for the daily baby talk.
- Now, today... - Daily?
[Debra] I want y'all to think about family.
I want you to think about your own family...
As in everyday?
I want you to think about your mamas and your daughters
and your sisters, your aunts, your cousins...
- Every day, 4:00 p.m. on the dot. - [screams]
Oh, Debra is a shining beacon of light in the darkness.
She's a lighthouse when you're in a lifeboat.
A night light when you're stuck in a little room
- and you're like, "Oh, my God." And you... - Oh, quick Q, Ronald.
Um, so I'm supposed to be doing
- data entry and... - Yeah.
There's no data and there's nowhere to enter it.
Oh, uh, I see you don't have access. I'm Sapphire level.
Everything here goes by levels, and the higher you go up,
the less people have access.
[Debra] Now, I want you to think of yourselves as ambassadors.
- I want you to think of yourselves... - [computer beeps]
- [Debra] ...as ambassadors. - Huh.
So, it's like a pyramid?
[Debra] The power to reach out and spread the...
I never thought about it that way.
Well, Debra and Richard,
they're the only ones with Diamond access, of course.
- And they look at us from the top... - From the top of the pyramid?
I guess so. Huh.
Well, if you ever need anything, just let me know.
- Okay. - Hmm, top of the pyramid.
[Debra] Magiq Babies come from Magiq Mamas.
Be the magic.
Sounds like encrypted security keys.
Uh, in-field missile launch authorization.
Where'd you learn that, Missile Launcher Monthly?
[grunts]
All right, I need a high enough level key to access the computers
that control the return requests.
Without it, I can't embed my Yes Virus.
[Parker] So, it's a pickpocket job.
Or a pick-bracelet job.
[beeps]
The Diamond Mama Bash for the elite sellers,
that's the perfect place to hit them.
Breanna creates a cover for me as a top UK seller,
I get close to Debra, lift the key.
- So, you want me to steal Richard's? - If you could find it.
It doesn't look like he always wears his.
Yeah, well, I wouldn't either.
Precisely.
Oh, Richard.
He's constantly surrounded by women,
babies, feminine energy.
It's confining.
He needs a buddy.
We'll run a friendship honeypot scam.
- The bromcom. - The bromcom.
Huh? Excuse me?
It's a bromcom. It's like a romcom with dudes.
Every romcom has four parts.
We need a meet-cute, a sexy complication,
a hook, and a joyful defeat.
Basically, I got to make this guy my bro
and then he shows me where the keys are.
Um...
actually, not you.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
This car is awesome!
Is that what you say, awesome? Boss?
Bitchin'? Bad-ass? This car is cherry. This car is tough.
- Um, I can't, I can't... - It's got to be Harry.
You'd overwhelm Prosper. He'd be way too intimidated by you.
Okay? Harry's much less manly.
What? Excuse me?
Not a scratch.
You don't drive this thing over 55.
You don't drive this car over 55 miles an hour?
I drive it how I... You don't drive it over 55.
[imitates revving car]
- Oh. Oh, oh, oh. - [Harry continues imitating revving car]
[woman 1] I've got a dozen people in my downline.
[woman 2] My rebirth was the best thing that I...
[woman 3] My downline is really...
[woman 4] My rebirth couldn't have come sooner.
All right, ladies.
Be the Magiq.
[all] Be the Magiq.
You're at Sapphire table five.
- Oh, thank you. - Mm-hmm.
[indistinct chatter]
So, I am this close to Emerald.
Now, I have been stuck at Sapphire for the past three years
ever since my rebirth.
I remember when I went through my rebirth.
[Lynne] But, you know, the new product line is going to just
fly off the shelves and you'll be at Emerald status in no time.
Oh.
They're all so smiley.
Love bombing. It's a proven cult technique.
Though, I am curious to know what this rebirth is.
[Breanna] Okay. Rebirth is...
when a seller is demoted back down to the lowest level.
Their whole downline is taken away.
It's a way for Magiq Baby to keep the seller's bonus
and disguise it as a training tool.
Oh, ladies.
[cheering and applause]
Isn't the Magiq Baby life good?
[crowd] Yeah!
I said, isn't the Magiq Baby life good?
[cheering and applause]
Now, we are here to celebrate
the real magic in Magiq Baby.
And that is you. That is you.
[cheering and applause]
The person who wants to celebrate you the most
is also the person that brought this whole family together.
My wonderful,
Magiqal Mama, Debra.
[cheering and applause]
[laughs]
[cheering and applause]
Hello, Magiq Mamas.
[cheering and applause]
Uh, you are all here today, ladies,
because we have all been blessed.
- [crowd] Yeah! - [Debra] That's right. That's right.
Those negative Nancys,
they like to say that there isn't enough pie to go around.
But we know, the Magiq Mama mindset says that you...
you...
you have the power to create more abundance.
Y'all, there's always more pie. [laughs]
[cheering and applause]
Hey!
Magiq Babies come from Magiq Mamas.
[crowd] Be the Magiq!
Be the Magiq.
Our client Miranda's here, too.
Remember, she doesn't know we're here to help her.
Want me to broom her, dump her in Venezuela?
No, but keep an eye on her.
We know she's emotionally fragile.
[Parker] Will do.
Next step, Breanna, set the meet-cute.
[Debra] We are going to be giving out prizes.
I know y'all like prizes.
One special lady will be getting a pink and blue Cadillac.
[cheering and applause]
[car engine turning over]
[Richard] Can I help you?
[dramatic music playing]
Sorry, is that a little loud?
I'm trying to figure this out.
Well, these high-flow catalytic converters will break your heart.
You know these cars?
Well...
- You mind getting your hands dirty? - Oh...
not at all.
[Parker] Good. Now flirt with him.
- Come again? - Flirting is the key ingredient
to the meet-cute. It's all about the chemistry.
Bow chicka wow wow.
Sorry, did you say something?
Nope.
Yeah, that's nice wrench work.
Well...
[Harry] You know your way around a Hemi V8 engine.
I've always had a keen interest in high-performance automobiles.
Okay. Give her a try.
- [engine starts] - Whoo! Yeah!
I've been trying to get her to do that all day.
Well, like a high-performance woman,
it takes a delicate touch.
[laughs]
[Parker] Great job, Harry.
Now, for part two,
the sexy complication.
[Harry] Thanks for the help.
You, uh, wanna take her for a spin?
Oh? Well...
I think the missus can handle things here for a little while.
Let's go.
Mama Prosper,
I'm such a fan.
Oh.
Oh! Margaret Bentley.
I've come all the way from the UK to upgrade my mindset.
I just know I'm not meant to be stuck at Sapphire, Mama, forever.
From the UK?
- Mm-hmm. - [Debra] Huh.
I could swear I heard a touch of Boston in your accent.
Oh?
Well, I have spent some time there.
Hmm.
Attention, mamas.
- Excuse me, Magiq Mamas. [giggles] - Oh.
This here is Sapphire mama,
Margaret Bentley, joining us all the way from the UK.
And she's gonna tell us the five Magiq keys
to enrichment and success.
Now, every Sapphire mama should know these by heart.
[chuckles] Oh, lights.
Oh. Ah.
[suspenseful music playing]
Oh. [clears throat]
Here you go. Come on, then.
All right. Just give me a sec. I'm looking it up now.
Don't bother.
Excuse me?
Don't bother...
with the five steps...
if you're just repeating from memory.
Magiq Baby isn't about reciting.
It's about a way of life.
It's about enrichment as a family.
And the five steps are how we begin this journey.
Let's do it together.
Step one.
[crowd] Set a goal.
For yourself, for our company, for our future.
Step two...
[crowd] Be strategic.
Confidence comes from knowing how you're gonna accomplish your goals.
- And... - Oh. You tell us the rest, honey.
Step three, stay organized.
Four, keep focused.
And the most important of all the steps,
- rejoice! - [laughs]
[cheering and applause]
[Breanna] How did you know all that?
Those are the basic tenants of a dozen self-help success manuals.
Nice job winging it.
But I got to tell you, fake it till you make it
is not gonna work here at Magiq Baby.
Ooh. She's good.
She saw right through me.
We're gonna have to step up our game.
Breanna, any luck?
Ronald moved me up to Sapphire access
and somehow it's worse.
It's like they Frankensteined a dozen different accounting programs together.
And I still can't get to the seller request records.
Ah!
God!
I just can't stop thinking about what you said about those pyramids.
Okay.
Because our financial structure works the same way.
You work your way up by adding more people under you.
And the real revenue doesn't come from sales.
Recruitment is actually kind of
the only way a seller makes profit.
So, it might be a pyramid scheme?
No. No. It can't be.
No.
Oh, Ronald.
[indistinct chatter]
Parker, I'm gonna need your help getting Debra's attention again.
You got it. What you thinking?
I'm thinking a blessed event.
Hmm.
I'm just so overwhelmed.
I know. Oh, it's tough.
The pregnancy and taking on extra catering jobs.
Magiq Baby would be perfect for you.
I could put you in my downline and set you up today.
Really?
Oh, I'd love a chance to get off my feet
and just relax before a little Alec arrives.
Well, it sounds like the Magiq Baby family
is about to get a little bigger.
Oh, my goodness.
The Debra Prosper.
It is such an honor.
- I should get back to work now. - Oh.
You know, I looked into you
- and your numbers are very impressive. - Oh.
And, you know, I really like that salesmanship.
I always tell my girls that a stranger is just...
[all] ...a Magiq Baby seller you haven't met yet.
[chuckles]
Miranda, honey, come here.
This is amazing.
This weekend is... it's everything I needed.
Oh. You do need this.
But that's not all you need, is it?
No. I think that you need a little Magiq Baby love. [laughs]
Mamas, come here.
Gather round. This here is Miranda.
And she has recently struggled
with negativity in her mindset.
But she has chosen to persevere
and not let that negativity stop her
from being the Magiq.
[cheering and applause]
Oh, I'm so proud of her.
But, you know, I can't help but wonder if there isn't something more
that we can do to help you.
What do you think, Margaret?
Is there something more that we could do
to help Miranda reach her full potential?
Sophie, she's testing you.
Uh, maybe she could use something
to help reenergize her.
Uh, how about a rebirth?
A rebirth?
No. No.
I've already invested so much to get to the level that I'm at.
- I don't think that's... - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, honey.
That is just negativity creeping in there.
Sometimes you have to go back to go forward.
Everyone, let's congratulate Miranda
on her rebirth.
[cheering and applause]
That is exactly what I would've done. You know the secret, my friend.
Magiq takes sacrifice.
If it was easy, everyone could do it, right?
Mm-hmm.
Why don't you come on up to my penthouse with me
and have a little chat?
I want to sit down and get to know you better.
I would love that, Debra.
Parker, check on Miranda.
I did what I had to do.
Hi.
Uh, I don't have a tissue,
but, uh, you can use my sleeve.
I'm fine. Thank you.
How far along are you?
Oh. About forty... four... Fourteen months. [clears throat]
Yeah. I guess it could feel like that sometimes. [chuckles]
Oh, your eyes are leaking again.
You sure you don't want my sleeve?
You know, I just don't think I could do this.
I'm pregnant too and I don't...
I don't think I could handle everything falling apart right now.
I was... I was going broke before
and now I have to start all over again.
And you're worried that you're a loser?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, hey, you don't have to worry about being a loser.
I don't?
- Why? - Because you are a loser.
What?
But so are everybody else in this room.
Look, according to the FTC,
99% of people in MLMs lose their money.
And only a measly 1% make a profit.
- Is that true? - Oh, yeah. You can Google it.
So, why worry about being a loser when...
that's exactly what you signed up for?
Thanks.
[Parker] Oh.
In case you need this later.
Thanks.
[speaking Uzbek] The price was negotiated objectively,
so if you choose to renege
on the deal,
you will regret it.
Hey, Eliot, have you ever tried selling Russians
a truckload of microwaves?
They don't like hot food.
I was under the impression you weren't in the game anymore.
Does anyone ever really leave?
What's got you sneaking up on me?
This isn't sneaking.
This is lurking.
- A big difference. - [Billy] Oh, yeah?
Oh, let me guess.
You're here to tell me that you care for...
What's she go by now? Sophie?
And, uh, you're here to protect her.
Well, strike two.
However, all those things you just said are true,
but that's not why I'm here.
All right, then.
Why are you here?
Because you're gonna tell me everything you know
about what happened back in the day with Sophie,
with Arthur, the duke, you.
All of it.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Harry] Can't talk about Dirty Harry without talking High Plains Drifter.
Right, A Fistful of Dollars.
Ooh. Good, Bad, and the Ugly.
Yeah. This is what I call a proper office.
Well, this is just my one in Louisiana.
I got offices on the coasts and in Europe.
- Impressive. - Yeah.
[Parker] So, he's brought you back to his place.
You're gonna need him to open up.
It's time for the hook.
Talk about something that make men cry.
- Ah. - You got great taste.
Well, thank you.
You know, this place kind of reminds me of, uh...
Well, it, kind of, reminds me of my old man's office.
God rest his soul.
Oh, I'm sorry. Mine passed, too.
- Oh. - Never had an office, working stiff.
But I always imagined that if he had one,
he'd want it to look just like this.
Yeah.
It's nearly perfect.
- Nearly? - Well, all we need is a bottle of brandy
and some Cuban cigars.
How's a bottle of Louis XIII and some Cohiba sound to you?
Whoo!
No sign of the bracelet yet.
But he does have a wall safe.
Is it digital?
No. Old-school combination.
Whoo!
Oh. Now I'm getting all flushed.
Harry, I'm coming your way.
I gotta hide this from Debra,
so I keep it in the safe.
Wise.
Hmm. [laughs]
Pregnant bellies are so great at hiding stuff.
No one ever talks about that.
When the authorities found out that the Maharaja's crown was a fake,
our heist of the original was revealed.
They went back and found me on some security footage
driving the getaway car.
And you think Sophie told them the crown was fake?
Absolutely not. What benefit would there be?
- Well, what's your beef with her? - I don't have one.
It's my own fault for having such a characteristic nose.
You can catch it on a CCTV, honestly.
What about Arthur Wilde?
Oh. Yeah.
Well, that's a little more complicated.
We were a team. All right?
This was our boldest heist yet.
When it went south, then someone higher up on the food chain
than just the driver had to take some heat.
Arthur felt like your Sophie threw him under the bus to save her own skin.
And why would she do that?
Well, she was marrying a duke, wasn't she?
I mean, that's, that's right posh. That's not a put-on anymore.
She wasn't about to jeopardize that.
And she let you take the fall?
Nah. I was going down regardless.
But Arthur,
maybe she could have whispered in the right ears to spare him.
Honestly, with their history, it was a bit cruel leaving him to rot.
This doesn't sound like Sophie to me.
Oh, yeah.
You've known her for years.
You believe her. You trust her.
Well, I knew her for a long time, too.
Only I didn't forget that she's a con woman.
Professional liar, deceiving people for a living.
Even the people closest to her.
[Debra] So, I finally told him,
"Fine. Richard, you can have your little man cave."
[laughter]
I had to get him out from under my feet every now and again, huh?
Oh.
You are so confiding.
It's just wonderful to get this chance to know you.
Oh, well, thank you. But, Margaret...
Margie, we're here to learn about you.
Tell me, how did Magiq Baby come into your life, huh?
Oh. Well, it's not the happiest of stories.
It was just a bad relationship.
Oh. [chuckles]
He had me on a string, like a puppet.
But I decided, no, that was not how my story was gonna go.
So, I left him.
It was hard, but I knew I deserved better.
And then I discovered Magiq Baby.
And I turned my life around in three months.
I just don't know where I'd be without it.
[Debra] Hmm, good story.
Probably helped you convince a lot of buyers, huh?
Joanne?
Do you remember what I said when you told me
how you came to Magiq Baby?
Oh, yes.
You said that if I didn't wanna take this seriously,
the door was right there.
Yep.
'Cause Jo-Jo here lied to me.
Just like you did, Margie.
I got a knack for catching lies.
A family this big, we can't be dishonest with each other.
She's so scary, like a human lie detector.
Which means Sophie can't lie to her.
You got me. [chuckles]
Yeah.
You're quite perceptive, aren't you?
Ladies, what do I always say about the levels?
- You don't level up if you don't open up. - You don't level up if you don't open up.
That's right.
Oh, I just want everyone at Magiq Baby to achieve their full potential.
And that is why I push so hard.
You know, the pressure is where diamonds come from.
So, Margie...
the truth.
I can't help but feel that you have
or had someone in your life that...
really changed things for you.
Tell me about him.
- Ronald! - So, Debra says the Magiq Baby way
is the only way for people to achieve their dreams.
You build, you move up, and you get what you want.
And that's good, right?
I don't... I don't know.
Is that what you want?
You want a polo shirt and a cheap bracelet?
Not really.
And my bracelet was $200.
They make you pay for those? Yikes.
The higher up you go, they want even more.
Ronald, what is the dream?
Oh, it's silly.
- Come on. - No, I couldn't.
- No, you could tell me. - I play the trumpet. [chuckles]
I always wanted to be a jazz man. [laughs]
You know... [imitates trumpet] It's crazy.
That's, that's cool as hell, man.
Actually, hey, so I've been trying to reconcile
some of this third-quarter data,
and I was just wondering, um,
how do you deal with seller return requests?
Oh, that's all overseen by Debra and Richard only.
They like to make it a face-to-face meeting.
Hmm. So, you have to get all the way to the top
to get out of the company?
Yeah.
All returns are done via Debra's computer
in the penthouse, in case you were curious. [chuckles]
I'm going to lunch.
[laughter]
[sighs]
- [Richard] Oh, that's... - [Harry laughs]
Harry. I'm here,
you and Richard should not be.
Clear him out.
Hey, uh, we ought to, uh, get up to something.
Maybe go hit the cages or the links.
You know, I'm a member over at Bradgebriar.
You strike me as the kind of man that appreciates history, am I right?
I never met a World War II documentary I wouldn't watch.
Well, I'm about to take you back a little further than that.
Come on, it's upstairs. [grunts]
Huh.
So, we need to upload your Yes Virus directly to Debra's computer?
Yep.
And the only way to get onto her computer is with their keys.
- Any luck? - Ugh.
It smells like dude in here.
[clicking]
Ah.
Hmm. I got gold bars, a few Rolexes,
land contract written in what looks like Uzbek,
Mark McGwire rookie card,
but no bracelet and no security key.
Got to admit, you're piquing my curiosity.
[chuckles] Welcome to my manne hule.
It's Norwegian for man cave.
Cost a fortune, but naturally, it's all on the company dime.
[horn blows]
- Oh. - [laughs]
- Yeah! - Yes, sir.
This... this is incredible.
Well, I just needed a place to be myself.
You know, get away from all the estrogen in the building.
Hear that.
Now,
how about a friendly fight?
What's that now? [grunts]
Yeah. [laughs]
You see, we're warriors.
And this world, it's gone soft.
And we're meant to strive, to fight,
to defeat our enemies and when we reap the rewards,
to feast in Valhalla. [laughs]
Yeah, totally.
All right. That's yours.
- Really? - Yes.
All right.
- So this is really... - [laughs]
- This is really happening? - Oh, yes, sir.
[Harry] I've got eyes on the bracelet. Third floor, man cave.
Things are getting a little weird up here.
- Ha. Ha. - Ha. Ha.
- Ha! - Holy crap.
- Okay. - Oh, that's it.
Oh, you feel that?
Feel that blood just flowing through your veins?
We're conquerors. [chuckles]
Okay! [grunts]
[both grunting]
[screaming]
[clanking]
I'm not a patient person.
If you're not gonna be truthful...
He was a lot of things,
but mostly, he was a planner.
He could see everything...
from every angle.
But he couldn't always see himself, huh?
Those were the moments where he might miss a step,
but that got better after we got together.
And then the plans we made became about us
and all the things we were gonna do together.
And then he had to go and die,
mess up the whole plan.
But we have a family,
and it's my responsibility to take care of them.
Maybe I'm not enough without him,
but I have to be there for them.
Everything I do is for them.
[grunting]
[Richard] What's that?
[suspenseful music playing]
That fell out of your ear?
That's, uh, that's my hearing aid. [chuckles]
Too many years around loud engines, you know?
Now that story smells like the truth.
And it felt good, didn't it?
Hmm?
To get that out.
Actually, yeah.
Ladies, could you give us some privacy, please?
Allow Margaret here the space to really express herself.
Okay.
It's just you and me now.
[exhales]
You don't have to hold anything back.
Oh. What are you doing?
This leads to the restricted zone.
Oh. [blows raspberry] I'm so sorry.
I was looking for the restroom.
There are plenty of restrooms back that way.
How did you end up all the way over here?
You don't have to worry about her.
She probably just got lost.
- Yeah. - You know this woman?
Yeah. We were just talking a moment ago.
- She's gonna be a mom soon. - Mm-hmm.
What happened to your belly?
Oh. Oh. Oh.
There is a perfectly good explanation for this.
[chuckles]
[Richard] Yeah, loud engines.
That'll do it to you.
Let me get that for you, old man.
Hey, let me get that.
[Parker] So I made a fake belly,
so that I could get into the mindset of being pregnant, you know?
Hearing aids don't usually talk to you.
I had to pay extra for that feature.
I bet you did.
[dramatic music playing]
I hope you fight better than you lie.
Fortunately, I've had good teachers in both.
[grunting]
What? Harry gets a sword fight and I get stuck in a cubicle?
Uh-uh. You know what? Whatever.
I have to get to Debra's computer.
Wait, wait, wait, wait a second.
Breanna, I didn't go to lunch.
I went home and picked up my trumpet.
There's no pyramid schemes in jazz!
Whoo! Ha-ha!
Follow your dreams.
[both grunting]
[laughs]
Oh, I'm gonna enjoy beating the truth out of you.
You want some truth?
Your brandy's watered down and your Cubans are fakes.
[both grunting]
Damn it!
[grunting]
Ooh!
[groans]
[grunts]
Oh, you did not!
Part four of the bromcom,
the joyous defeat.
[grunts]
I don't understand what you want from me.
- I just told you. - No. You told me a truth,
but not the truth.
No, not the one that keeps you up at night. Now you are so close now.
Don't give up.
All right, Debra.
I'll tell you a secret.
Something I've never told anyone.
Not something that happened to you,
like your husband dying, huh?
This is about something that you did,
something that you hold a lot of guilt about.
There was someone who trusted me,
who relied on me to protect them.
And I took that responsibility for granted.
And when it came to making a choice,
whether to stay or to leave,
I chose to leave.
I abandoned them.
I chose to take care of myself.
And it's not just that I did that, that I made that choice.
It's that I know it should have haunted me,
that a good person would have thought
about what they'd done every day since.
But the truth is, I haven't.
I moved on.
I lived my life in such a way that I...
I couldn't look back.
I couldn't think about what I'd done to them.
I dug a hole in myself,
and I put this person in it,
and I made myself forget,
and it worked.
The truth hurts.
And that is how we know it's true.
Just like your truth.
- Mine? - Yes, Debra.
You see, I'm a bit of a lie detector also.
And I've been listening to your bollocks all day.
You don't raise people up.
You keep them down.
You manipulate them.
You sell them this promise of untold wealth and independence,
and then you suck them dry and move on to new victims.
- Mm. - You call Magiq Baby a family
'cause you can't call it what it really is,
- just a pyramid scheme. - Oh.
Run by a cheap grifter in expensive jewelry.
Well, I knew something was off about you. [chuckles]
Yeah, I figured I'd call you up here and see if I was on the money.
[clicks tongue]
[chuckles]
Oh.
And what if Magiq Baby is a pyramid scheme, hmm?
Well, all that would mean is... that there are a lot of people below me
lifting me up who won't let me fall.
And I know they won't, no, because I take money from them every day
and they love me for it.
Yeah.
They want me to tell them what to do, what to think.
They, they, they need me
to tell them who they are. [laughs]
You see, they give me money
and I provide a service.
Without me, there's no magic in their lives.
Oh, without me, they are nothing.
Now, do you remember what we talked about earlier,
diamonds and pressure?
Well, we're about to see how much pressure you can take.
Security!
[chuckles] You're not the first one to come in here
and think she could ride herd on me.
No. This ain't my first rodeo.
But you are about to see what it's like to get stomped on by the bull.
Why are you smiling?
Just because everything you just said
smells like the truth.
Mm.
Where the hell is my security?
Security!
You kept me talking for ages.
Uh, Do you... do you have the time, by the way?
The time is...
Because just about every Magiq Baby seller you have is tuned in
to a very special edition of Baby Talk.
[Debra] I take money from them every day
and they love me for it.
Yeah, they, they, they need me
to tell them who they are. [chuckles]
Without me, they are nothing.
[all exclaim]
Be the Magiq.
[grunting]
[all gasp]
Hey! Those are expensive.
[phone chimes]
No. No. No, no.
No, no, no, no.
Are you, uh, getting some constructive feedback?
[computer beeps]
- Richard! Come on. - Yeah! Yeah.
Here. Here. Okay. Okay.
[computer beeps]
Thank you so much for plugging my key into your system.
It's so nice to have a boss that supports you.
[both grunting]
- What did you do? - Uh...
- What did you do? - What? I didn't.
I was playing.
Oh. You dumb son of a bitch. Just go clean up this.
- Yeah. Yeah. - I'll call the helicopter.
Sorry, we're late. Mom stuff.
So, you wouldn't just jump in to having a baby?
You practice first.
Nope.
[groans]
[exhales] Perfectly a good explanation for this, too.
Don't wanna ruin any cool getaways,
but I wouldn't bother going for that safe.
[grunts]
Shh. She's sleeping.
Ha-ha! And since in about three minutes all your cash is gonna be gone,
your hard assets are gonna be liquidated to cover any outstanding debts,
of which there will be many.
But don't worry, it's gonna be a quick and easy process.
Since you threw an axe at me, I made a few calls to expedite things.
[horn honks]
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No!
Not my humidor! no!
[Breanna] By the way,
my Yes Virus also said yes to me having access
to your whole entire system,
so now I have proof that you two are running a pyramid scheme.
Department of Justice really frowns on that kind of thing.
I think they might be stopping by here soon.
[police sirens wailing]
No.
Think of it as a rebirth.
[Debra] That story about the person you abandoned...
it was a daughter, wasn't it?
- So all's well that ends well? - Yeah. My Yes Virus kicked in
and not only did everyone who requested a return get one,
each and every Magiq Baby mama got a nice bonus.
Hey. All right.
Miranda should have enough left over to get some much needed help.
They are gonna have a hard time selling baby clothes from prison.
Although, I have met some babies who belong in prison.
You like wearing that thing?
Oh, yeah. This is great.
I might wear it all the time.
People get out of my way and I can store snacks and stuff.
[Harry] There you go.
[sniffs] Oh, Harry.
God, that armor doesn't breathe, does it?
No, it doesn't, but I'm keeping it.
Cheers.
All I got to do now is clean up Eliot's car before he gets back.
Apparently, Richard spilled beer in the cup holders.
Where are Sophie and Eliot anyway?
On an errand.
- [instrumental jazz music playing] - Mm. Who are we listening to?
Oh, that's Ronald. He's cool.
He's pretty good.
[instrumental jazz music continues]
Oh, hey. [chuckles] I just got off the phone with Miranda's mom.
- Oh. - She's as pleased as punch with me.
Said I could even buy her a drink when I'm in town.
When did you learn to speak Uzbek?
What do you mean?
This has been about that land in Uzbekistan
that the Prospers had.
My colleague found the contract in Richard's safe.
You weren't speaking Russian on the phone.
It was Uzbek.
Well, one of my cellmates was Uzbeki.
His accent was so thick, it was easy to learn
and try and decipher what he was saying in English.
So between Miranda and the Uzbek,
you were the perfect person for this job to lure me in.
Yeah, but you really did help my daughter.
And for that, I am eternally grateful.
Oh.
But... an interested party thought
the land would make a better runway than a warehouse for cheap baby clothes.
Two birds and all that.
An interested party?
- You talking about Wilde? - [Sophie] No.
If this is about a runway,
then it's for Ramsey,
which means you're still working for him.
Does anyone ever really leave?
You know, think of it this way.
He's very grateful for the favor you've done him.
Who the hell is Ramsey?
Someone who I very much hoped thought I was dead.
[dramatic music playing]
[theme music playing]
Emma came up with a piece of math that could be used to develop cold fusion.
Dr. Grey had you kicked out of his class?
No one gets in my way at this school.
It's the word of America's favorite science professor against...
A lowly grad student.
He stole your future.
I am the Establishment.
I want him bagged and gagged.
Now we're talkin'.
We have to get Grey to take himself down.
[upbeat music playing]
[grunts]
It's like a battle zone out here.
- Security! - I already have a lab coat.
Oh, boy.
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