So that's it from Thunderbird stadium
As quarterback Sammy Winslow and the T-birds
Lose another heartbreaker.
Winslow was brilliant at times today,
Throwing for three touchdowns,
But his two second-half interceptions were absolute backbreakers.
This is the greatest moment of my whole life.
Hey, you see, being a cop has its advantages, huh?
- This is pretty cool. - Oh, there he comes.
Oh, my god.
I gotta get his autograph.
He's so cool.
Just relax, relax. Remember, he's a person.
Just like me.
Oh, no, he's way better than you.
Hey.
Good game.
Uh, great game, Sammy,
But do you want to know why you threw that interception in the third quarter?
Why?
Well, every time you're gonna throw a quick pass to the left side,
You rub your hands together, then pat the ball twice.
Which is probably why you threw those six picks in the last three games.
Or something. I - I don't know.
Uh, sorry. He's a
Perceptive little pain in the butt or something.
Sorry.
You can't do that. He's a quarterback.
You can't tell him--
Kid.
Oh, my god.
My god.
Whoa. We got the game ball.
I got the game ball.
Where have you two been? We've left you 12 messages.
Sorry, we were having our biannual Rae Dawn Chong movie marathon.
Did you see quest for fire?
Guys!
The chief is not happy.
You have to keep your cell phones on at all times.
This would all be a lot easier
If you would just run with my genius psych signal idea.
- No. - Don't you mean yes?
What are you talking about?
It's like the bat signal, only way awesomer.
The silhouette in the sky would be my hand to my head, psychic-style.
I drew up a whole proposal.
That would have cost the department $200,000.
We covered that with our bake sale alone.
And what's going on with our badges?
You're not getting badges.
- She has one. - She's a cop.
All right, fine, we'll settle for guns.
It's about time.
Come with me. We may have a missing persons case
We need you to look into.
"May have?" That doesn't sound very definitive.
Do you have any leads?
There's one.
Mr. Spencer, we need you to psychically tell us
Who belonged to this foot.
Does he know that's where they keep the bodies for identification?
I think he's figuring that out right now.
There you go.
So what can you tell us?
It's weird.
The lower extremities give off very, very intense psychic vibes.
For instance, the pinky toe is telling me that he went to the market.
I'm sorry. That's wrong. He, uh,
He actually stayed home.
And something about
Wee-wee and roast beef.
Okay, I knew this was a waste of time.
The foot was found by hikers this morning
On a trail near lake Cachuma.
Mr. Spencer, we have to assume that we were meant to find
This foot, which means that we're dealing with a psycho.
I'm gonna position this case as a possible murder investigation.
But I can only keep this foot thing quiet for a day or two.
I don't want to panic the community.
You're saying you think this thing might cause quite a stink.
All right, now, I just feel like a heel.
That was callous.
wWw.Subs-team.Tv presents...
Synch by: Safes.
Psych - S03E13 Any Given Friday Night at 10pm, 9pm...
Oh, hey, yeah.
Had to bolt out of there.
My cell phone was, like, literally shocking my leg.
It must be the battery or something.
I like that story.
Let's stick with it.
You know, there was something weird about the way the big toe was smushed
And the side of the foot was callused.
Not random, almost symmetrical, you know,
Like it had happened over time.
It probably comes from some repeated action, like kicking.
Or kicking.
He could have been an athlete.
Like a soccer player.
Or a soccer player.
Sorry.
It helps me think.
Google "missing foot. "
That was your plan?
Not all of it.
Watch out, watch out!
Rogue foot on the loose.
I can't control it.
It's heel-toed, down from the spirit world
To give me a swift kick in the ass, and now--
But now it's channeling a message through my own foot.
What's it saying?
Besides, "everyone cut loose"?
Let's listen.
Something about the big toe, the way it was smushed,
Callused, as if it belonged to someone who
Kicked things a lot.
- A prison guard? - A rockette?
- A kangaroo. - An athlete.
Yes, an athlete. Perhaps a soccer player?
Soccer players wear shoes.
The toe thing wouldn't happen unless the person was barefoot.
Again, let me pitch kangaroo.
What else do you have, Spencer?
I mean, do you have a name?
Are they in danger? Are they still alive?
Darn it. Vision gone.
I'll have to sit with this one.
Just get back to us when you have something, and it better be quick.
Chief, my middle name is quick.
I changed it from Boutros-Ghali.
Are you sure it's Vlad Alexavic?
Think about it-- He's the only player in the league that kicks without his shoe.
Plus, you said he had surgery on his ankle last year.
Yeah, he jumped off of Kathy griffin's balcony on a dare.
Blew out his ankle. Missed the entire playoffs.
That scar on the ankle was fresh.
I don't know, Shawn.
Even for you, that's a big leap.
And what are we gonna do?
Just walk into a pro football training camp
And just start asking if anyone's missing a foot?
The words "foolproof" and "plan" do come to mind, yes.
What are you guys doing here?
I was drawn here by a name
That's been kicking around my psychic third brain.
- Vlad - Vlad Alexavic,
The t-bird kicker?
Yeah, after you left, I started thinking about the connection
Between the big toe and an athlete,
And then I realized Vlad is the only kicker
Who kicks without a shoe.
Jules,
Color me impressed.
And purple, with a streak of magenta.
Well, I-I dated a Miami dolphin for a while one summer.
Oh, yeah, so you're
Really attracted to big, meat-headed football players.
Oh, they're not all meatheads.
And I don't know, it's just
Something about that uniform.
Yeah.
So. Anyway.
Shawn and I thought that if we could get some information about Vlad--
- It's already done. - And the team
We matched DNA samples to the foot yesterday.
It's Vlad.
Set, hut!
Out round.
Dude, can you believe this?
We're standing on the field of an actual pro football training camp.
This is awesome.
My dad would love this.
Yeah.
Too bad he's not talking to you.
You should have just gone on the camping trip.
I'll make it up to him next week.
I'll head over there for dinner,
Bring him a pouch of big league chew,
Maybe watch a couple of episodes of the mentalist.
It'll be fine.
Dude!
This is going to be the coolest case of all time.
I should have brought my autograph book.
I've been stuck on C. Everett Koop and Drew Lachey for a while.
I don't see what the big deal is.
A bunch of guys in tights and hard hats,
Playing in the dirt.
What?
I'm not a big fan of football.
What are you a fan of, exactly?
I don't know.
The gun sports.
What are we waiting for?
To talk to Sam Winslow.
He's the coach and general manager.
Are you kidding me? We get to meet slingin' Sammy Winslow?
- What! - So?
So he's one of the greatest quarterbacks in the history of pro football.
He also happens to be a very good friend of mine.
You met him once when you were ten.
And the only thing that my dad and I both like
Besides Asian slaw and harry Hamlin.
Who's with me?
Who's with me on Hamlin?
Literally,
No one is with you.
Sammy won a championship his first season as a coach,
But he hasn't even been to the playoffs in six years.
It sounds like he's not a very good coach.
Come on. You call that a two-minute drill?
I could get to Dallas on my nephew's big wheel faster than you ladies.
It's ridiculous.
Reset.
It's ridiculous.
I see you're too tall to be an agent.
You must be a shoe rep.
No, I'm a cop.
We need to speak to you about one of your players.
I'm detective Lassiter. This is my partner, detective OHara,
And these are...
never mind.
I don't want the press to see this.
I'll give you two minutes, all right. Come with me.
Thank you.
You found Vlad's foot?
You sure it's his?
I'm afraid so.
When's the last time you saw him?
It's been a few weeks.
I mean, he was a holdout.
I mean, Vlad's always been a bit of a free spirit.
I mean, he's disappeared during the off-season before.
I just thought he was doing it again.
We're gonna need to speak with some of your players.
We'd appreciate it if you kept the information
about Mr. Alexavic quiet for the time being.
Could someone have killed him?
That's what we're here to find out.
I can't believe I'm saying this,
But you two think you could have spoken up a little bit?
Sorry about that.
It's what happens to us when we're in the presence of one of our heroes.
Gus almost fainted when we ran into Ralph Macchio at a del taco.
For the record, he was not working there.
Why don't we interview the players
and you guys take care of everything else?
Sure.
Heard you guys were asking questions about Vlad.
What's going on?
It's unclear at this point, Mr. Tompkins.
It's Matt.
Look, Vlad's one of my bros. If there's a problem,
I wanna know about it.
If you have any information about Vlad, we could really use the help.
Well, I don't want to start any rumors or anything, but
I did hear that he owed a lot of money to people.
- What people? - Bookies, I think.
I also heard a rumor that he tried to start a night club with
some of his cousins and lost a sh--
Load of money.
That'd be Russian cousins?
What do you think?
Great, While you guys were goofing off, we actually got a lead.
Matt Tompkins told us that Vlad lost a bunch of money
that belonged to some Russian cousins.
What'd you guys find?
Just this.
What's that?
Vlad's phone.
We found it in his locker.
You stole it?
Benji, the locker room attendant, let us in.
Big fan of Rent. Told him Gus was Taye Diggs,
so he also gave us these old jerseys.
How do I look, Jules?
Like my 11-year-old nephew in his Peyton Manning pajamas.
Your 11-year-old nephew's ruggedly sexy.
- That's weird. - Whoa. Hang on.
Look at that.
That is a direct threat.
This plus the foot screams Russian mob.
Really? I don't hear anything.
I'm just saying we found that phone awfully easy,
And there just happens to be a threatening text on it? Come on.
So you think someone planted it in his locker.
No, I think someone put it there on purpose.
That's what I just said.
Mine wasn't in the form of a question, so it comes from a place of power.
I'm not gonna stand here and listen to this,
And we'll be back with a search warrant for the contents of that locker.
You see, we actually follow police procedure.
So what do we do now?
Benji said the only ones allowed in the locker room
are players and team personnel.
The answer to what happened to Vlad is not in some
Russian bathhouse.
No, we need to get close to the team.
Are you saying we go undercover?
I'm saying we assume alternate identies.
So that we can get in there and investigate
Without drawing any extra attention to ourselves.
Coach Winslow? Sorry to bother you.
It's all right. Come in.
You were with the cops earlier.
You didn't say a word.
No, it's because I was observing.
My name is Shawn Spencer.
I'm a psychic that works for the SBPD.
This is my partner, du quoin "smallpox" Randolph.
You can call him Gus.
We work on high-profile cases like this all the time.
Yeah, well,
This is my fault.
I mean, I knew that Vlad was going off the rails, and I didn't do anything.
No, no, no, coach, please.
Don't beat yourself up.
You-- You probably get this a lot, but
But we're huge fans of yours.
I slept on your face for years.
I mean, I had sheets with you on them when I was a kid.
And we've actually met before.
I was the kid after the Denver game who told you about your interceptions.
Oh, yeah.
I told you he'd rember me.
Yeah.
You know, I didn't throw a pick the rest of the year.
Oh, boy, I thought I'd play football forever, you know?
Sure as heck never thought I'd end up a coach.
Well,
Coach,
I'm here because I'm sensing some very dark forces coming from your team.
Whoever did this to Vlad
Might want to harm other players as well.
I think that we can help.
How can you possibly help?
Red 17!
Red 17 check down!
Check down! Red!
- 17 dragon! - Shawn!
- Wildebeest! - Shawn!
Bevell came back too early from his concussion.
He's afraid of getting hit.
Fletcher.
Well, he's worrying about his divorce. He's not focused on the game.
Dayne may seem heavy, but it's just water weight.
He's actually gonna be fine.
Bollinger is freaking out because he thinks his wife might know
That he's sleeping with the reporter from channel five.
And Calderwood, well, he's just not cool with being demoted to second team,
Even if he says he is.
Yes, no, mean, juiced, possibly gay,
Definitely gay.
That is incredible.
I mean, I already knew about Dayne, suspected Kenny, but
I mean, that still-- That's impressive.
So what is in this for you?
Well, we just want to find whoever did this to Vlad,
Help you get your team back.
And maybe lead the team out of the tunnel one time before a game?
That is not gonna happen.
But, you know, I may need your help.
But there's just one problem.
I mean, these guys are not gonna
Just let somebody walk in off the street and get close to them.
They have to think that you belong.
All right. Let's get this done fast.
We've got ten other spots to check today.
They said the locker room guy has the key, and he's on the field.
All right, I want to see all the kickers trying out
On the field right now.
That's right. It's real.
Feel free to drink it in.
- Some help? - Ok!
So, Adam,
Vlad just came in here last year and beat you out for the job, huh?
Yeah, well,
He's not here, so it's my job to win now.
Shanked that a little.
I never heard of you before.
You said you played in Tampa?
Tel Aviv.
Israeli arena league.
Didn't play on the Sabbath, so you probably didn't see me.
I've also been out of the game for a little while.
I had a couple of knee surgeries, and this elbow
Filled with ostrich cartilage.
Six.
- Get out there and kick. - Yeah, coach
Did I see you give an interview to espn this morning?
First of all,
It was espn-deportes.
And it was an exclusive, coach.
You can't be giving interviews.
You're a non-roster invitee.
I told the docs you had an MCL tear,
which means no kicking.
You're here to solve a murder.
No interviews, no kicking, solve the murder. Got it.
All right, let's go, girls. Pick it up.
- My grandmother moves faster than that. - All right,
Estevez, Estevez, you're up.
Actually it's Emilio Estevez, Est-tev-ez.
And I have a knee injury, so I can't kick.
If you ain't gonna kick, then get off this field.
You saying I don't have a choice?
No. Get out there.
What's up?
That was awesome!
It was just a 21-yarder.
Yeah, well,
I was in an iron lung a week ago.
Dude, check the books.
I think I just tied tom Dempseys record for longest field goal.
Yeah, no, you didn't.
His record is 63 yards, not 63 feet.
What's up in your world?
Look, Shawn, we can't be wasting time.
Lassiter's on his Russian thing, and we only have two days
To figure out what happened to Vlad.
Two days
To fulfill 20 years of fantasies.
That's what a team manager wears, huh?
I'm not a team manager.
I'm a training intern.
And I've been setting up massage tables for the last hour.
You know what they do on those massage tables, Shawn?
They play connect four.
They massage men.
Big, hairy men.
Look, let me be very clear. These hands are not touching anyone.
I only use these hands to touch myself.
- Let me rephrase that. - Please stop speaking.
And no more fist bumps for the rest of the day.
Carlton, we have been to every place even remotely connected to Russia
And all of eastern Europe, and we have found nothing.
We have to start looking someplace else.
Maybe there's something in this stuff from Vlad's locker.
Just a bunch of junk.
What?
Well, Tompkins said he thought Vlad was gambling, right?
- Yeah. - These could be bets that he made.
Look, it says Miami plus six, K.C. Minus two.
Look at this.
It's a phone number.
Do you still have Vlad's phone records?
Yeah, but they didn't show anything.
The text Vlad got was from a disposable phone.
Check this. 805-555-14--
2-1?
That number called Vlad twice last week.
We got a lead. Let's go.
While you were fooling around, I was investigating.
Ever since the cops came, everyone's talking about Vlad.
What are they saying?
None of the players liked that dude.
He either owes them money,
Tried to sleep with their wives, or called them out in the press.
- Did I move it? - No.
- Not one nanometer. - Nanometer. What is that?
Like two or three feet?
I don't think everyone hated Vlad. Check it out.
He has one of those warriors towels in his locker too.
They call themselves the warriors
because they're the craziest guys on the team.
Matt Tompkins, Vince Garner, and Drew Shacker are the leaders.
Man.
Now I'm gonna have to figure out a way to get close to those guys
That doesn't involve getting a lobotomy
Or showering with strange men with volcano nipples.
Coach is crazy if he thinks I'm playing special teams this year.
I get injured on a play, there goes my bonus.
Exactly, right?
Dude, what are you doing?
Have you guys seen altered states?
No.
Just got back from being a monkey.
Why did I think that would land?
You scared the hell out of us, bro.
Sorry, bro.
Emilio Estevez Est-te-vez.
New kicker.
You mean like the actor guy?
You're thinking of Charlie Sheen.
What?
Actually, you're probably not thinking of anything.
Nice ink.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, this is my wife.
That's my mom.
And that's the stripper I hook up with in Vegas sometimes.
Very sweet.
I dated a dancer once.
Destiny.
Real name was glitter.
Nothing there?
So
What's up with your kicker, Vlad?
Some pretty crazy rumors floating around.
I don't know what to tell you, man.
Vlad's kind of a loner.
Yeah, we didn't really know him.
I heard something about some Russians.
I hope it's not that they're coming.
They're coming.
The Russians.
Well,
That's it for me.
I...
I gotta go get my steroids shot.
Whoops. Probably shouldn't have said that out loud.
Steer clear.
Might be some pee in that one.
This is definitely the address.
And there's a picture of Vlad on the shelf.
Oh, no.
Look at that.
Madam,
Why do you have that picture here?
Ooh, I'm a huge fan of Chad.
One day I plan to have his baby.
We're detectives with the sped.
We're looking for any information you might have on Vlad Alexavic.
Oh, jeez
Go around back.
Get on your knees!
Hands on your head.
Nice work, OHara.
"Sergee van Geef. "
- Vangieff. - Yeah, whatever.
You, my friend, have a big problem.
Your visa runs out next month.
- So? - So...
you either give us something, or it's bye-bye, Santa Barbara;
Hello, St. Petersburg.
I can't go back to Russia, man.
My lady and I, we are starting aquarium store.
We already have a bathtub full of Koi.
Why were you calling Vlad Alexavic last week?
Did I?
Okay.
Vlad owes me money.
You were booking bets for him, right?
That's why you ran?
Da.
But it was just to make money
To buy fountain of child spitting water for store.
His old girlfriend introduced us. Vlad and I are friends.
Sergei,
Sergei, bookmaking's a very serious offense. What is that now,
Five years in prison?
Oh, more if you take the bets over the phone.
That's interstate wire fraud.
Who's gonna feed all those fish?
Are you gonna start soon?
I already did.
What do you mean?
You don't feel it?
Feel what?
The heat.
See,
I'm using what's called the, uh,
Hovering technique.
I learned it from some monks in Cambodia.
It's forbidden to touch the skin.
Yeah,
I think I feel it.
You do?
I mean, good.
Now what I want you to do
Is close your eyes tight
And focus on the power source coming from my hands.
Yeah.
Now I totally feel it.
Aw, yeah.
That's awesome.
Can you do the buttocks?
The hover technique?
Resourceful Gus makes a rare appearance.
Please tell me you have something so we can get out of here.
Depends. What can you tell me about poison oak?
What can't I tell you? It's the three-leaved devil.
Causes severe itching and a red bumpy rash.
Found only on the pacific coast and usually near bodies of fresh water.
The foot was found by hikers this morning
on a trail near Lake Cachuma.
Come on.
We gotta call the M.E. And check something out.
But I think I might know where Vlad's body is.
- How? - Calamine lotion.
Calamine lotion?
All right, thanks.
You were right.
The m. E. Said the pink flakes under Vlad's toenails
were dried calamine lotion.
And this is the closest lake to traing camp.
Cops obviously got my message.
What are you doing?
It's game time.
I'm about to blow their minds.
How do I look?
Like an idiot.
Sweet.
Sorry I'm late.
Practice ran long.
By the way, Jules, you might want to jump on the Spencer bandwagon,
Sign up for my newsletter, maybe buy my fathead.
Spencer, what are you doing here?
It's Vlad's body.
It's dark, it's murky,
His voice is a little, uh--
- Warbly. - That's right.
Like it's calling to me from underwater.
Maybe a
A river or stream. Perhaps, a--
Lake?
Yeah, we pulled out Vlad's body an hour ago.
Mr. Spencer, it looks like you're a little late to the game this time.
What, no witty retort?
No reference to some obscure '80s film?
- OHara, write this down. - I don't have a pen.
Make note of the date and time that I, Carlton Lassiter,
Actually shut Shawn Spencers cavernous piehole.
Sorry. What was that?
Something about night of the comet.
Just-- Just forget it.
Okay, we need to expedite this.
Make it a top priority.
We received a tip that Vlad had been using
An old girlfriend's cabin on the lake.
When we went back and ran some of his credit cards,
We found out that one was used at the cold spring gas station.
On highway 154.
Yup, and the attendant there said that he'd rembered seeing Vlad
Three days ago, and that he got into a car with several other men.
Which we assume is our Russian connection.
You see, boys,
At the end of the day,
Good old-fashioned police work always wins out.
Old-fashioned.
So you went and Billy-clubbed some immigrants?
You know, Jules, it's a shame you didn't see my kick at practice.
Yeah, sorry I missed it.
I didn't.
Ooh, I almost forgot.
Just a little something to make this whole police thing official.
Isn't this the same thing you gave the former Laotian general
Who sells peanuts outside the station?
Yeah, but his actually says detective on it.
Chief, I need a favor.
Please don't release the info about finding Vlad's body yet.
Come on.
Give me one good reason.
I'll give you five.
I'll give you one.
I know deep down in my psychic loins
That the Russian angle is completely wrong.
Why, because all signs point directly to it?
Exactly.
Whoever did this thinks they got away with it.
We release the info now, they're just gonna run.
Give me one day.
It's gonna take us at least 24 hours to find and notify them in Russia.
That gives you one day.
Thank you, chief.
Come on, Gus.
Oh, lassie.
Your haircut's worse than Joyce Hyser's in just one of the guys.
Thank you and good night.
Why isn't my dad picking up?
Probably because you were supposed to be at his house
Three hours ago for your apology dinner.
Yeah, well, we'll have a late dinner.
Late? It's already 10:00, Shawn.
Way past curfew.
We're gonna get caught, and you might end up losing your roster spot.
Why did we come back here?
Because the answer to what happened to Vlad is with the team.
The warriors lied about being friends with him.
And Drew referred to him in the past tense.
Yeah, we didn't really know him.
So the guys were with Vlad at the lake, but they lied about it.
Exactly.
Something went down. I just don't know what or who else was there.
What do we do now?
Be careful. There's a cover-up here.
A lot of guys hated Vlad. Anybody could be involved.
You guys know why you're here.
You have two choices.
Dude, I think we're on top of the stadium.
Do not step forward.
You can either jump
Or get pushed off.
You have five seconds to decide.
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one!
What do you think you're doing?
Enough already.
It's Matt and Vince.
We might be screwed.
Don't be an idiot.
You can blow this whole thing for all of us.
We're only trying to scare 'em. Coach is not gonna find out.
Hell, yes, he can.
And there goes our contracts.
You get these guys off this building and into their rooms now.
All right,
Guys, take the hoods off. Show's over.
Sorry about that, guys.
Beer?
What were you gonna do?
Haze us?
It's traing camp.
You know, it gets so intense, you gotta cut loose a little.
What was all that stuff with Matt and Vince about?
You don't have guaranteed contracts, so you don't have to worry about that.
Just don't tell coach what we did.
All right?
Come on, guys.
Oh, gosh.
Dude,
I got it.
We need to talk to Sammy. He always works late.
What about your dad?
I'll figure that out on the way.
Shawn, you're not the person I want to see right now.
I know, I know, and I'm sorry.
I'm gonna make it up to you, I promise.
Uh, do you--
Do you still have that football,
The Thunderbirds football that I got when I was a kid?
I don't know. Maybe up in the attic. Why?
I want him to sign it.
Henry, that steak was downright vicious, baby.
I mean, thank you for having me over.
I-- You know, I don't rember the last time I had a home-cooked meal.
You kidding? Sammy Winslow at my house.
I should be thanking you.
Or you could thank me, since I brought him over, but
It's neither here nor there.
Do you know that Shawn and I used to sit in that living room right there
And watch every single one of your games? You remember that, Shawn?
Remember? I remember I had to stand next to the fridge
For the entire second half
Of the playoff game against Seattle in '88
Because every time I got an otter pop,
You threw a touchdown.
He didn't want to jinx it.
- Hey, we won, right? - Yes, we did.
I still can't believe that you let Shawn talk you into this crazy plan.
Well, you know, the kid does have a way with words.
I mean, I'm not sure if he's a genius, or if he's totally full of it.
Maybe he's a little bit of both.
Get us a couple more beers.
- You got it. - Thanks.
You know, I was thinking about retiring this year.
But now...
I can't go out like this.
Everything I've done before would just be forgotten.
Sammy, if--
If you found out that you had players that were hazing,
What would you do about it?
Used to be I wouldn't do anything.
But that all changed last year
When I put behavior clauses in everybody's contract.
What do you mean?
Well, we had so many guys getting in trouble off the field,
You know, getting arrested,
Driving their motorcycles through honeybaked ham stores, stuff like that.
So...
I put a thing in everyone's deal
That says if they get caught doing any of that stuff,
That I can cut them.
No exceptions.
None.
The only thing they respond to is fear.
Fear of losing their money.
I think we should put that fear to work for us.
Good job, boys!
Hold up.
Hold up!
Well, Vlad's death is a horrible tragedy.
We're working with the Santa Barbara police department to...
help in any way that we can.
And we voted as a team to
Continue to practice and to play,
And that is what we're going to do. Thank you.
At least tell us who the kicker's gonna be.
Thank you.
You know, I hope you know what you're doing, kid.
You got my career--
Hell, you got my legacy in your hands.
Sammy,
You're just gonna have to trust me, okay?
I'm gonna fix this.
You didn't even look at the ball.
You ain't mad at it, though.
We're four weeks from our first game.
You're still pulling this? Come on, baby.
Come on! Focus men!
Dude,
Matt and Drew are getting into it.
I think the pressure's getting to them.
Where are your John Stockton shorts?
They're not John Stockton shorts, Shawn.
I changed because I just got off the phone with Juliet.
She wants us to come down to the station right now.
Check this out. According to her,
Vlad wasn't murdered.
What?
Say that again.
Use a Jamaican accent.
Me said Vlad no murder. The murder thing can't work.
No, man. The man's feet--
- Shawn. - All right, let's go.
And according to the coroner, Vlad's injuries
Were more consistent
With those of a motor vehicle accident.
Well, my psychic wires are crossed then.
'Cause I can see Vlad's body,
But I don't see any shards of glass or cuts on it anywhere.
Good catch. I'm glad I called you.
Are you sure you didn't call me to see me in my uniform?
'Cause I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror earlier, and I was like wha-at!
I didn't know they made pads in extra small.
Hey.
Dead Russian guy.
Possible homicidal football players.
Right. Sorry, Gus.
- Where did this come from? - They're Vlad's.
I'm getting something here.
Older republican walruses.
No, that doesn't make any sense. Everyone knows walruses are libertarian.
Off-- Off-- Off-- Offlagen.
Off-- Off-- Rixper--
Off-- On-- Off--
- Shawn. - Off-road warriors.
Off-road like atv.
You know what, atvs don't have windshields.
We have to go.
All right, I think I know what happened,
but I need a little more proof.
I don't understand the big deal about the time of death.
It happened between 4:00 and 6:00 on Thursday the 14th.
That text came in five hours after he already died.
Would you send a threatening text message to someone
Hours after you supposedly killed them?
You would if you were starting the cover-up.
What do you think you're gonna find in Matt and Vince's locker?
Something that ties them directly to Vlad.
Looks like someone beat us to it.
It's not one of their lockers.
Whose is it?
It's mine.
Why did you even have to keep that stupid thing?
It's my only form of I. D., Gus.
Hey.
Hey, bros. What's up?
What's up?
What's up is we know you're not a kicker.
You guys saw me nail a 69-footer a couple days ago.
Then what the hell are you doing working for the cops?
Okay, okay.
So maybe I'm not a player,
I'm not a player, but I crush a lot.
Wow, I would have bet money they would have gotten that reference.
- I got it. - Thanks, buddy.
All right, the jig is up. I'm a psychic. I work for the cops.
You know what, I'm tired of you messing with us.
Whoa, whoa-whoa. What was that?
I said I'm tired of you messing with us.
Not you.
It's Vlad.
He's speaking to me. He's in a dark place.
It's hard to understand him. He sounds a little like Yaakov Smirnoff.
He also has some ritz bits in his mouth.
Cheese, no, peanut butter.
- Shawn. - Okay, I'll tell 'em.
I said I'd tell 'em.
All right, Vlad says he knows it's an accident.
Oh, I'm seeing through Vlad's eyes now.
He invited you to go atving down by the lake.
You were drinking.
There was a horrible accident where Vlad and Matt
Smashed into each other like two frozen Christmas hams.
Vlad wasn't wearing his helmet.
Hit his head on a rock, and by the time we got there,
- He was dead. - Shut up, Drew.
Matt, you were thrown so violently from the atv
That the emergency switch tethered to your wrist left a burn just like Vlad.
And the foot, the foot--
Just got ripped off in the middle of the accident.
But you weren't supposed to be doing any of that,
So you had to cover it up or risk losing your contract,
And that's worth millions.
- Smallpox, wrapping up the wrap-up. - What?
- Putting a bow on it. - The pox may be small--
Yeah, that's really, really very, very impressive, guys.
Too bad we've already dug ourselves so deep
We can't let you ever tell anyone about it.
Then again,
- I could be dead wrong. - Yup.
I mean, I just-- I just heard it all from a locker.
What the hell does it know?
Seriously, here's what I think we should do, guys.
- Gus, run. - Yup.
Gus! This way!
We'll use the phone in the press box.
Come on, Gus, this is what we worked so hard for.
I was a training intern, Shawn!
Guess you guys didn't know about the elevator.
- Wait! - Get over there.
- What are we doing, Matt? - Yeah, what are you doing, Matt?
Don't be rash and stupid now after you covered up the Vlad accident so nicely.
That's right. I know.
What the hell happened?
I sensed a plan being hatched right there in the moment.
You knew Vlad was in trouble with the Russians.
You guys decided that would be the story.
You dumped Vlad's body in the lake,
And you left the foot right out there,
Where you were sure it would be found.
You gave the cops exactly what they wanted.
It was the text, man, the text to Vlad's phone afterwards.
That was overkill. That's what cost you.
We have to get rid of 'em, Matt.
No, you don't.
We know you're not murderers. It was just an accident.
- Yeah, that we covered up. - Yeah.
You can forget about our contracts.
We're going to jail.
Jail's not so bad. Haveyou guys seen "Stir crazy"?
I bet they'll let you ride bulls.
All right
We'll take 'em up to the roof,
Make 'em jump. It'll look like a hazing gone bad.
- Come on. - No, no, no.
Hey, hey-hey. Let go of 'em.
Coach.
Son.
What are you doing here?
Watching film in the coach's box,
like he does every night before a game.
Yeah, and I heard everything.
Coach, come on.
Think about this.
Giving up three of your starters for...
- these guys? - Yeah
You can't win without us.
You're probably right.
What?
But that doesn't matter anymore.
Shawn, you and your dad are people who
Love football so much you'd do anything to be close to it.
And that made me realize what's most important.
The game.
To hell with you, old man.
We'll just get rid of you too.
No, no, no. You don't--
Well! Freeze.
Cop!
You think I'd do all this without having back-up?
I'm not stupid.
They don't give these badges to just anybody.
Feel it.
You guys did good.
I'm proud of you.
Thanks, Sammy.
It looks like you...
might need a few extra players for the season.
No.
- But, you know-- - You know--
- It's not gonna happen. - Just hear me out.
Never.
Hello, everyone. Welcome to thunder dome for opening night,
As hope springs eternal for coach Sammy Winslow and the T-birds.
You know, I can't believe I'm actually letting him do this.
You remember back then I told you
he was a perceptive little pain in the butt?
I probably should have also told you that he is persistent as hell.
- Ready? - Are you kidding me?
I've never been more ready for anything in my life.
Ready to lead 'em out, son.
Thunderbirds!
This is our house!
This is our time!
It's game time!
Gus, it's my day off. The case is over.
What do you and Shawn want me to see anyway?
That.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Here come your los Angeles Thunderbirds!
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