What are you doing?
My book report.
How's that possible?
Didn't you just start this book, like, a half an hour ago?
Yeah, I read the flap and then the first chapter,
Then I totally figured out the ending, so it's cool.
Well, how do you know that you're right?
Because you taught me how to draw conclusions.
Shawn, you know what you're doing, don't you?
Yep. Banking a whole afternoon of video game time.
No.
You're operating on incomplete information.
It's sloppy, and one day,
You're gonna find yourself embarrassed by it.
Dad, please, it's pretty obvious
To figure out what's gonna happen.
Wilbur's gonna win the pig ribbon,
And he and charlotte are gonna live happily ever after.
All right, I'll tell you what.
If you get an "a" on that report,
I'm gonna take you to disneyland.
Sweet!
Good luck, kiddo.
You were doing exactly what I'm doing now
When you poisoned...
Mr. Camfini's pizza.
Think about what you want on this pizza.
It's the last one you'll eat
Before you go to prison... For murder.
I could also do a calzone.
It's the same basic principle, right?
Where's the pineapple?
You guys don't have any pineapple?
- Shawn, shawn. - Dad?
you gotta stop.
I've made a pizza before. I know what I'm doing.
Shawn, you've got the wrong guy.
He's the only one in the world
Who couldn't possibly have done this.
Didn't you ever read the case file?
Yeah, I read th--
Went over the summary and part of the first--
I don't have time to read case files, okay?
Shawn, medical alert bracelet.
The guy can't handle nuts.
what?
Shawn, the poison was dissolved in peanut oil.
His hands would look like baseball mitts
If he even got near that poison.
What'd I tell you?
uh...
Okay! First of all, let me apologize
For this interruption of process.
I borrowed $5 from my father last week,
And he's decided that now
Would be an appropriate time to collect.
Well, here you go, pop.
Here's your five clams. Take it.
Buy your lotto tickets.
Waste it on false hopes, easy dreams.
Meanwhile, I will go back to doing what I do,
Which is working for a living.
Speaking of working for a living,
How can you, sir,
Stand there with a clean conscience,
While I accuse an innocent young man
Or murder, when it was in fact you--yes, you--
Who poisoned mr. Camfini's pizza?
You did this?
Yes, I did.
I've had this place for 25 years.
I wasn't gonna let anyone
Sell off my place to some chain.
This is a family business.
Yeah, I know. I'm your nephew.
You were gonna let him take me?
You know what? My work here is done.
Jules, cuff him.
Lassie, finish topping that pizza.
I got here as fast as I could.
What did I miss?
Just me nailin' that guy.
Whoa! What are you talking about?
I nailed the guy.
How can you rewrite history like that?
You're talkin' to a guy
Who wrote a term paper on president mitchell.
Shawn, the fact is,
I saved your ass in there once again.
It's not the first time.
Name another.
Are you kidding?
When don't you come to me for last-minute guidance?
Shh, shh, shh! Okay, okay.
I'm in a slump. Gimme a break.
I'll give you this one on a technicality.
But all the other stuff you do,
Don't you think that falls under fatherly duties?
Did that not sound like a thank you?
Hello. Walter snowden.
I'd like to introduce myself
And say very impressive work.
Thanks, walt. I'm shawn spencer.
This is my partner... Burton guster.
Or should I say ghee buttersnaps
Or lavender gooms
Or clementine wooliesocks, perhaps?
wow, this guy really is a fan.
A fan or a stalker.
Ghee buttersnaps was said
On a secure military base with no one else around.
Well, let's just say I've been following your work
For quite a while now,
And this last is very impressive.
I thought you were going to accuse that first gentleman.
Would have been completely ridiculous.
I wouldn't--I wouldn't say completely ridiculous.
I mean, he did have a douchey face, don't you think?
Well, I saw what you were up to.
You turned it around.
You created a false sense of security
For the real culprit,
And then you coerced a confession out of him.
I mean, that was just...
Brilliant.
Let's just say that I am amazing
And leave it at that.
Ah.
I'd like to offer you a job.
thank you, but no, thank you.
He already has a job.
Now, this is for the both of you, actually.
I run a, well, fairly well-known
Private security firm,
And I'm working for a gentleman
Who is quite, uh, important.
You know, walt,
Our jobs require that we go shirtless
At any given moment, and this, no offense,
Sounds a little dry.
Well, it's a two-week operation.
I'll offer you $8,500 a day.
Do the math.
Gus, do the math.
That's a lot of money.
So, um, what would we be doing exactly?
Oh, you'd be part of a prestigious think tank.
A think tank?
Yes, a hand-picked assembly of experts,
Who would be working with my client,
Mr. Ashton bonaventure.
The billionaire businessman?
That's fantastic. I love that guy.
I love his mane.
Let me guess, he's looking for new product ideas.
Uh, no product ideas.
Well, he will be after I pitch him
The concept for the electric sponge.
This has nothing to do with any of his businesses.
So what will we be doing?
Preventing his assassination.
Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
* *
* I know you know *
* that I'm not telling the truth *
* I know you know *
* they just don't have any proof *
* embrace the deception *
* learn how to bend *
* your worst inhibitions *
* tend to psych you out in the end *
* I know you know *
The latest threat on mr. Bonaventure's life
Has been alarmingly precise.
It states he will not survive his speech
In santa barbara.
Any questions before we get in the room?
Yes. When will gus and I be riding
In mr. Bonaventure's hot air balloon?
Well, I don't even see where that is
A part of your duties.
I see.
Can I ride on the back of his jet ski
While he performs water doughnuts?
I don't see how that'll help protect him.
Mm-hmm. Will he at least leave the outgoing message
On my answering machine?
Look, mr. Spencer, I believe in doing
Whatever it takes to stimulate the creative process,
Within limits, and to that effect,
I have addressed all of the items
On your contract rider.
- Rider? - Yes.
We have people looking
For your regulation-size trampoline,
The packs of big league chew,
And, of course, mr. Guster's official nba
"let's blast it" air horn.
I didn't want one of those.
No, they'll find it.
Okay, so this is where your work begins.
Now, the experts inside here
Are the brightest minds in their fields.
The ideas will be flying around fast.
Now we'll go over every attack scenario imaginable.
Mr. Bonaventure's life depends upon it.
Hope you're ready.
Oh, my god.
Gus! Look at all the skittles!
Well, you ordered them, mr. Spencer.
I'd like to introduce you
To your fellow think tank members.
This is fred collins boyd,
Who is a retired agent for the secret service.
He was hand-picked by president reagan.
Reagan was the one after mitchell?
President mitchell was played by kevin klein in dave.
He's a fictional character.
No. Dave was a fictional character
Who looked exactly like president mitchell.
Yes. And svetlana progoyovic,
Formerly an independent contractor
Working with various government agencies,
Including the k.G.B.
She's now working for the american government
In a preventative capacity.
Independent contractor.
Does that mean that she's- hit woman? Yes.
- So I probably shouldn't try-- - don't even think about it.
And rounding out our team is alan zenuk,
Who graduated from m.I.T.
And is now a leading crime statistician,
Dealing with odds and probabilities.
I see. But didn't winnie from the wonder years
Also do that, and wouldn't it have been
Way cooler to have her instead?
And I'd like to introduce you
To shawn spencer and burton guster,
Who started a psychic detective agency
Just four years ago and have since solved
An impressive number of cases
For the local police department.
Gentlemen, have a seat.
Oh, all right.
And, uh, of course, you all know by now
This is our client,
Maverick billionaire, ashton bonaventure.
He is an innovator
On the cutting edge of the technological industry.
Makes sense.
I saw on cribs
That he has a soda fountain in his bedroom.
Mm-hmm. Yes, well, oddly enough,
That is correct as well.
He also turned wall street upside down
When he bought out tetron tech in '98.
Thousands of people lost their jobs.
Mr. Guster is on point, actually.
You do not do as well as he has done
Without leaving a tidal wave of enemies in your wake,
And there have been three attempts
On mr. Bonaventure's life in the last two years.
It has become painfully apparent
That there are blind spots in his security detail,
And it is your job to tell us what they are.
If a bad guy can do it,
I want us to have considered it beforehand.
Any questions?
Yes, I have a question for the statistician
Formerly known as kenneth branagh.
Without looking, can you tell me exactly
How many skittles are in this bowl?
- Shawn. - Oh, sorry.
And what is the probability
That gus will choose a green one?
Excuse me.
What brings mr. Bonaventure to santa barbara?
The purpose of the visit
Is the company's annual board of directors address
And to announce the rollout of a major new product.
Perhaps we should hear the rest
From mr. Bonaventure himself.
hello, team.
Thank you for participating.
I can't imagine what it's like
To be in your shoes right now,
Having your responsibilities.
Just know that I will do whatever I can
To help you keep me alive out there, all right?
Yeah, well, we're here to serve you, sir,
So relax. We're on top of it.
- Mr. Bonaventure? Spencer- -shawn spencer here.
Uh, do you think that there is a market
For a comb that works while you sleep?
You have to push the button to talk.
Oh, can you, uh...
No. I'm not gonna ask him again.
He went scrooge on me. Did you hear that?
Okay, well, if there's nothing more,
Let's get to work.
This is a schematic of the building where we think
The attacker will strike.
I'm lookin' at the service entrance
To the lower kitchen of the hotel right here.
it is off-limits.
You cannot control a working environment
With that many moving pieces.
I agree.
Most breaches would occur in that kitchen.
The only tactic here
Is to make the security team
Look the other way.
Give me that map. I'll show you.
shawn, we're not participating.
Gus, they might as well be speaking australian.
Now, look, it's like part giraffe,
Part loch ness monster.
Say something.
Ahem! I'm having a vision.
Mr. Snowden.
You still care for her very deeply, don't you?
Yes, that's correct.
Svetlana?
You recently moved into a new residence,
Did you not? Congratulations.
Very sexy. Lava lamps, yes?
What does that have to do with anything?
I'm not sure yet, boyd.
That is how my gift works.
It's like acid reflux, but instead of acid,
It's psychic-ness. It's psychic-ness reflux.
Gimme your watch. I'll tell you exactly when you're gonna die.
Thanks for the parlor tricks, but no.
Mr. Spencer, if you don't mind,
We're trying to figure out
What we're supposed to do if bullets fly
In this tight kitchen proximity here,
So if you don't have anything on topic.
Under siege.
Seagal used a spatula to deflect bullets.
So you're saying we arm our people with spatulas?
No, I'm saying it was pretty cool,
And he's above the law again.
Well, I calculate the probability
Of that occurring to be 0.0%.
Okay. Let's switch to explosives
As a present threat.
Well, I've seen tiny plastique explosives
In cell phones.
How crude and inaccurate.
Getting the phone to the target
Is difficult enough.
Getting them to use it is not predictable.
And how do you target your mark?
Well, personally, I'm quite fond of poisons.
So a cell phone isn't predictable enough,
But a poison is perfectly reliable.
Is that what you're saying?
I use skin contact.
I spray it directly on them.
It's as if I sneezed, and then it's, uh...
How do you say? Good night, charlie.
Gus, how bad do you wish you were charlie?
She's a killer, shawn. She kills people.
- But how bad? - Really bad.
And how do you get close?
The easy answer is any kind of uniform.
Mm, an assassin is 40% more likely
To be disguised as a service person.
Whenever I consult, I always suggest
That we immediately focus in
On delivery personnel.
You see, the general public are conditioned
To find uniformed persons as less suspicious.
When I had to walk through a crowd,
I'd always try to appear as feminine
And disarming as possible.
You wore a bikini made of whipped cream?
No. I carry a baby.
A plastic one, of course.
I was born without a maternal instinct.
Hm. Well, the larger question is
What gaps are there in the security system
That we can't account for?
There are always gaps.
You can't account for everything.
We can. We have to.
Okay, let's, uh, take a ten-minute break.
I have to have a conference call
With mr. Bonaventure's advance team.
- Shawn. - Yes?
Can I talk to you for a second?
- Certainly. - Excuse me.
Excuse us.
We'll be right back.
Keep your eyes off my draft, boyd.
Follow me, shawn.
Please tell me that the trampoline has arrived.
It's not the trampoline.
Gus, what is it?
Time is of the "es-sance."
Yes, sir. Yes, sir, I understand.
We'll let 'em know right away, sir.
Over here, shawn.
Dude, this is kind of exciting.
What's behind there?
That says "exit." - I know.
We are completely making fools of ourselves
Inside there, shawn.
We need to cut our losses and go home.
This slump of yours is out of control.
Look, I admit we're having some early trouble,
But that room is like kryptonite to my skills.
It's, like, neutralizing my weapons.
I need to see things. I need to touch stuff.
Has it ever occurred to you
That these are the exact kind of people
That could figure out you're not who you say you are?
Come on, son.
Do not do ed lover on me, shawn.
All we need to do is wow them
With a couple of ideas and we're right back in business.
Or completely out of business.
You're playing with fire here.
Look, I hate to say this,
But if we're gonna stay here,
You need to call your dad.
Since when do I need his help?
You called him for directions to get here.
Which we didn't use.
Look, gus, I may not be a planner,
Or a detail man,
Or a taxpayer,
But when push comes to shove,
I work, and I get the job done.
My gosh.
Now follow me back in there,
And let's blow these guys' minds,
Scanners-style.
We chose this hotel specifically
Because none of the surrounding buildings
Are higher than two stories,
So if we surround him with all six bodyguards,
Then we have seemingly eliminated
All possibilities of an attack.
So what are we missing?
here comes the wow.
Yes, mr. Spencer, you have something?
As a matter of fact, I do, walt.
If the assassin is unable to take a shot from above,
Then I think there is a very, very good possibility
That he will shoot from beneath.
- From beneath? - Indeed.
Shoot from beneath.
So, what are you saying, the killer's like a groundhog,
Who digs little tunnels in the earth,
Something like that?
What are you calculating, alan?
I'm figuring the odds of mr. Spencer getting fired.
What?
Okay, I think that's about enough for today.
Let's meet tomorrow, 8:00 sharp.
What? I was just gettin' warmed up, man.
Wow.
It's really scraping the bottom of the barrel,
Asking lassie for help.
Shawn, your ability to know nothing
About real police work has finally caught up to you.
You know, we can always just--
We're not calling my dad. I can do this by myself.
Mr. Spencer, exactly how does that work?
Whatever do you mean, chief?
With your father.
See, I saw him at the pizza place.
You sure did.
You see, he missed most of my baseball games
As a kid, and recently,
He has been trying to show me more support
In my ventures.
This is big boy work, so what do you want?
Just a quick question, more of a trivia thing.
Kind of a "what if."
Get to it.
Have you ever given any thought to how or when
Someone would try to assassinate ashton bonaventure?
And don't just spout out
Everything tom cruise did in valkyrie,
'cause I already pitched that. Bonaventure?
You're working for bonaventure?
Us and some other experts.
Man, beeying since, like, forever
To get on one of these private security details.
I once wrote a letter to gerald ford
When I was a kid, telling him I wanted to protect him,
And that I loved him.
Well, this might be your lucky day, lassie,
'cause I'm thinking of letting you in. What?
Throwing you a bone.
I'm not going to help you.
If they wanted my ideas
They could have asked me themselves.
Lassie, gus has 100 large in his pocket.
Are you trying to bribe a police officer?
Fair enough. You drive a hard bargain.
How about three bucks for a baby nugget?
This is ridiculous!
I know everything there is about bonaventure.
I've been dealing with his people for weeks,
Coordinating crowd control.
I would have been a real asset in that room.
I'm gonna call bill mcgoldrick.
Who?
He's head of security. I knew he didn't like me.
I don't know who that is.
We've been dealing directly with walter snowden.
- Who's that? - Walter snowden?
Head of snowden security?
I've never heard of snowden security.
You don't know walter snowden?
I've never heard of walter snowden
Or snowden security in my life.
Who is he?
-...This century.
Uh, perhaps we should hear the rest
From mr. Bonaventure himself.
Just know...
He's the head of bonaventure--
Head of think tank operations.
Crap.
Aw, crap.
Now I gotta get a warrant to get in this place.
Aw, man.
What the hell?
Aw, damn.
Skittles?
Bonaventure's team has never heard of snowden, either.
I don't get it.
We saw him on video.
- Video was fake, gus. - Fake?
Hello, team.
Thank you for participating.
It was footage of bonaventure
At a golf tournament
Or sales convention or something.
No, should have known better.
He would have loved my pillow comb idea.
Snowden was the one
Who had tried to kill him in the past,
But he could never crack bonaventure's security.
If a bad guy can do it,
I want us to have considered it beforehand.
So he puts together this think tank
To gather as many ideas as possible
So that he can carry out the hit successfully.
Thank you. There's no record
Of a walter snowden in our database.
What about the others?
Boyd, progoyovic, and zenuk all check out.
We're rounding them up for questioning.
So let me get this straight.
You joined this organization,
Didn't bother to check if they were legit,
And then you gave 'em a bunch of ideas
About how to kill one of your idols?
If it's any consolation, all of his ideas stank.
- Stunk. - Stank.
- Stinkeded? - I'm sure they did.
Spencer, I won't say that I'm not gonna
Hold this over your head forever,
Because, let's be honest, of course I am.
Look, lassie, now is not the time to gloat
Because you're right for the first time in your life.
I'm just having a mini slump.
The important thing is, I need evidence bags
For the rest of those skittles.
And remember, we have four days to find this guy.
Why four days?
'cause that's when bonaventure gets to town.
Bonaventure's flight got in four hours ago.
He's already at his hotel.
Hopefully alive.
What is the meaning of this interruption?
Mr. Bonaventure,
I believe that you wl be in grave danger,
And believe that there will be
An attempt made on your life.
And how do you know that?
Because I am a psychic.
I'm also... An inventor.
It's a pillow that combs your hair while you sleep.
Check it out.
You need to cancel your speech tonight,
And we need to get you out of town.
No, this is the most important appearance
Of the year for me.
12 other companies are trying to launch
What I'm going to announce.
If we don't go first, we're finished.
Five years of development.
I'm going on. My company depends on it.
No, sir, your attackers depend on it.
I pay these people very well
To keep me safe,
And nothing in this world is gonna stop me
From making that speech.
Well, right now, you're not safe,
And this guy, who has solved over 50 unsolvable cases,
Is your best chance of getting out of here alive.
And why is that?
Because solving over 50 unsolvable cases
Is usually impressive to people,
And also because I spent the last 12 hours
With your would-be assassin,
And I know every single little thing that he might try.
All right, psychic, here's your shot.
I'm going to my car.
Get me there.
I've even seen tiny plastique explosives
In cell phones.
no!
Don't answer that.
That stays where it is.
In fact, everybody, cell phones out.
Let's see 'em. Now put 'em on the floor.
All right, let's move.
And generally people are programmed
To find persons in uniform less suspicious.
The maid.
The maid!
Axe for men?
What?
She's clean.
Me? I carry a baby.
Baby.
The baby?
The baby!
Baby's real. She's clean.
I use skin contact.
Feel it, orchid man!
Nice try!
Stop it. It's water. He's clean.
All right, he's clean.
Well, I think we can all agree
That that was a horrible mistake.
Good job tackling that maid, though.
I think the only thing to come out of this exercise
Will be a series of lawsuits.
I'd call my lawyer,
But I seem to have dropped my phone.
Wait!
Hair looks great.
Chief, I really don't see the point
In getting upset over spilled milk.
Why would I be upset?
The most powerful businessman in the state
Is the target of an assassination,
And one of my people helped plan it.
Actually, it was two. Gus was there as well.
Why would you say that?
I just thought it might help
Cushion the blow if we distribute the blame.
- Cushion who? - I guess me mostly.
Okay.
Chief, the man that we are looking for
Is operating under the alias of " walter snowden."
The remaining members of the bogus think tank
Have given us a detailed description
Of his features.
He is obviously well-funded and deeply connected.
Here's the sketch.
May I?
Oh. Uh, certainly.
Just a moment. I know this man.
Do you know from where?
Court. Some sort of lawsuit.
What kind of suit?
I believe it was wrongful death,
Something in one of our factories.
You still care for her very deeply, don't you?
Yes, that's correct.
It was his wife.
Yes. Yes, I believe it was.
As I recall, we settled.
And you don't know his name?
Well, I spend a lot of time in court.
It's the nature of my position.
All right. O'hara, let's get on anybody
Who may have had any court battles
With mr. Bonaventure's company.
And, mr. Bonaventure, I cannot express with words
The horror of these developments.
Members of our consulting team being involved is a shock,
And this will be dealt with for the future.
You obviously have our full cooperation.
If you insist on keeping
Your public appearance this evening,
We will provide a full security detail.
Actually, this man is the only one
Who successfully protected me this week.
He saved my life.
He also put your life in danger.
- Why would you say that? - Turnabout.
Shh!
So as I understand it, the suspect
Offered all of you $8,500 a day,
With the exception of mr. Boyd who received 9,500.
Whoa! How come you got more?
Yeah. He tells the future.
All you've told us is the plot to die hard 3.
Yeah, and that isn't difficult to ascertain?
Calm down. Maybe it was 8,500.
I took the job. It wasn't about the money.
Let it go, gentlemen.
The check didn't even clear.
What? This is a total disaster.
Now we got nothin'. That's not entirely true.
We got this dope nba air horn.
Stop screwing around!
I will be running point on this, ladies and gentlemen.
Actually, I want mr. Spencer to work point...
With my team.
Yes! Yes!
Feel that!
That is a very bad decision.
I don't make bad decisions,
And your participation is entirely my call.
Mr. Spencer is my choice.
Ahem. Well...
Well what, lassie?
What do you want to do?
This was way more fun a moment ago.
In other words, you have no idea.
Of course, I have an idea.
What we're going to do...
Is reassemble the think tank.
All right, first of all, let me just say
That this is very, very exciting for me.
I like to do things a little differently,
So no one will call me mr. Spencer.
It's shawn.
Shawny if you're feeling a little loose.
Never the shawn dog, 'cause that's just lame,
And I've never been one to chase balls.
We will check our egos at the door,
Along with our watches,
Because time does not exist in this room.
So let's see 'em.
Watches down.
Come on. Take 'em off.
Means you, too, stoltz. Let's do it.
Very nice.
I like it.
Now, what do we know?
We know that bonaventure will not budge on his plans.
We also know that the killer is very determined.
Bonny boom-boom's gonna take the stage
For his shareholders speech at exactly 7:20 p.M.
That gives us...
Watches on.
No, wait. No. I can just...
Make out the clock from here.
Is it 3:00? Is it 2:00?
Is that a clock? - Shawn!
You know what? Forget it.
Let's open things up to the room, shall we?
Finally.
I could see two clear weaknesses,
Here and here.
Three. Now open up your earlobes.
I will elaborate.
Number one, location and its susceptibility
To penetration.
Ha!
She...You...
Erect structures must defend external forces,
Not only physically, but also psychologically.
Guys, we need to think outside of the box.
What is this? Anybody?
A low-fat muffin?
No!
The speech will be given here
In the empire ballroom.
We will keep a secure holding area
That is connected solely by this service corridor.
I sense that once he is on the pedestal,
This area will be safe.
Question, big bear?
Stop callin' me that.
Okay. I'll have to come up with a new code name.
Little bear certainly isn't gonna do the trick.
You're wastin' all these uniforms
Against this back wall.
You leave the points of access,
The doors, the wings, more open.
See, this wall acts as your barrier.
Gotta make these cops more useful.
Oh, they will be more useful.
I'm gonna have them thinking of christmas present ideas
While they wait,
And gift certificates will not be considered.
No? Okay then, it's settled.
We will put our defenses here in the front.
Chief, this is just stupid.
He doesn't let
The senior ranking member on this force in that room?
Look, you've got your team, he's got his.
We put mr. Bonaventure into this position.
It's our job to get him out.
Chief?
We have a plan.
Stand by the door? That's ridiculous.
So I'm essentially a security guard in your plan.
Are you kidding me?
You are kevin costner in this plan.
You're in charge of the entire audience.
I should be with bonaventure.
I brought that up. He finds you unsettling.
He mentioned me?
Yes. He also said you were creepy,
But he did mention you.
- By name? - He called you "lazenby."
Come on, carlton, we're fine.
It's not about who gets what title.
The man's life is at stake.
You know what else isn't important?
That fact that I'm adding a surprise element
The second that I open this door.
Wait. What surprise element? Spencer!
Pardon me? What do you mean,
Surprise element?
Mr. Bonaventure, we have been playing from behind
This whole time.
It is now that I will use this,
Zzzz!
Your finger?
My gift.
Someone knew your route too well.
I believe there's a mole on your own team.
My people have been with me for ten years.
Good, they should be used to the unexpected.
Shawn, what are you doing?
We're going on the offensive, gus.
You are set to take the stage at 7:20.
That means that-- dadgummit.
You have a watch on, 'cause I forgot to put--
Oh, chop chop, gentlemen.
I'm on in five minutes.
Not...
Exactly.
What?
The only thing in the entire universe
That your attacker knows for certain
Is that you will take the podium at 7:20 p.M.
He will have to be in position,
Which means he will be at his most vulnerable,
A veritable sitting duck if we can find him,
And I...Zzzzzsss!
Will find him.
I will be able to sense him,
And I will most likely be able to see him.
And how will you do that?
I will go on first, sir.
What, on? Where?
The podium.
I will stall for as long as it takes,
Sensing the crowd, smelling them,
Anything out of place,
Then the cops and your team will suss him out,
And you will follow.
No, no, no, no, that is not acceptable.
Zzzzzsss!
Hand to the head, not working.
I know, that's why I've been adding sound effects.
Mr. Bonaventure,
I know how this is going to end,
And I am the only one that can offer you that guarantee.
Have I been wrong yet?
Well, there was the maid,
The gardener, the baby.
Why would you say that?
I don't know. Symmetry?
Regardless, I've gotten you this far.
Now what do you value more,
Your life or a slight delay in your speech?
Shareholders, board members,
Members of the press,
Attractive businesswomen with your spiky heels
And your ankle tattoos.
Raise your hand if you vacuum topless
To carly simon. I'm kidding.
welcome.
Welcome, all of you.
My name is shawn, and I am the opening act, jack!
I apologize in advance
If I completely blow your minds.
Ahem. there's a man...
False alarm.
I am here to say...
That greed...
For lack of a better word,
Is good.
It's right. Greed works.
Greed for life, for money, for love,
For flan.
What is synergy?
What is he doing?
I really have no idea,
But you have to give him a chance.
I think. Maybe.
Lassiter?
What the hell is he doing?
I'm trying to find out.
Look, I'm gonna get you guys an eyeball,
So would you just calm your asses down?
About stock splits?
Because we're just gonna keep splitting stocks, people,
And if the stock don't split,
You must acquit.
Excuse me.
Ahem. I'm getting a very strong vibe.
Check the air vents.
Stay up there, shawn. Give us a minute.
Let's talk about the future.
The true tragedy is that we are a part
Of the most technologically advanced company
In all of california,
And yet, I walked up onto this stage,
When we all know, I should have flown
Via jet pack.
Who's with me?
Are my shoes electric? No.
Does my pillow comb my hair at night
While I am sleeping?
No! Sadly, it does not.
And where, I ask you,
Is the hoverboard technology
That we all saw in back to the future ii
Over 20 years ago?
How come that hasn't materialized?
Well, we will be allocating
A significant amount of our resources
To making that happen.
Don't move! Drop the gun!
Hands in the air! Both: Now!
And that's not even counting
The treadmill that we all saw
So beautifully realized
In the opening credits of the jetsons.
Shawn, we got him.
What? What do you mean?
We got him?
We "got him" got him?
Get me out there.
Bonny boom-boom is on the move.
And I think it's about time we had weapons
That were designed to kill zombies!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
We are not doing hovercrafts, all right?
And greed and flan are also a no-no.
now then.
Picked him up like a u.P.S. Man,
And I don't think he was going duck hunting.
Oh, you blew it when you chose a psychic.
Didn't you know I would peg you?
That's a thing, right? Pegging people?
Yes.
Probably blowin' smoke
About the trampoline being on its way too.
"on a flatbed from albuquerque," he says.
My ass!
I thought you were an idiot.
Well, we've all been there.
You got our frequencies, is that it?
Wait a second. That doesn't make any sense.
If he had our frequency,
He would have known that we were onto him
And got out of here before you caught him.
He wasn't listening to us.
Lassie, he has a microphone.
Who are you talking to? Who's your partner?
If he had a partner, why would he need the think tank?
The only tactic re
Is to have the security team look the other way.
They needed ideas.
They tried once before and they failed.
The hit woman gave them the plan.
Wait a minute.
Which vent did you find him in?
It was the one off the back wall?
You're wasting all your us here
At this back wall.
You leave your access points,
The doors, the wings, more open.
I know who we're looking for.
Boyd purposely directed us away from the vents.
Snowden had a mole in the room the whole time.
Where did we put boyd on the detail?
Upstairs. I wasn't about to trust somebody I didn't know.
split up.
But onto a more serious sub--
Okay, you're out of here.
I'm trying to undo some damage here.
Are you kidding me? I inspired these people.
I don't want to argue about it. Just go.
There's another killer.
What?
Yeah, in the building, there's two of 'em.
It's a team.
Ho!
Let's take a left here.
Is your car waiting for you?
Of course, it is. Where's my team?
Gus is getting them. Don't worry.
Move, move, move, move! Move!
Look out!
Son of a bitch!
Boyd's gone.
To your car, and we're home free.
Clear! Go!
Go, go, go!
What's the hold up?
Oh, man.
What are you, a hired gun?
I get it with snowden.
He wanted vengeance for his wife's death.
But you, you're gonna throw everything away
For another man's vendetta?
You don't remember me from the trial, do you?
No.
She was my sister.
You and your lawyers decided her life
Was worth $1.2 million.
"it's more than fair. " that's what they said.
I tried to make amends.
Shh, shh. You should let me handle this, okay?
'cause I have experience in these situations.
You wrote checks. That's all you did.
Well, we took your money,
And we put it towards making you pay.
It's kind of ironic, isn't it?
You financed your own murder.
Look, boyd, or whatever your real name is,
I think that you are a very smart man.
Well, you're an idiot.
You were worthless in that room, and you're useless now.
I think we can all agree
Than name-calling is beneath you.
Whatever you're trying, it's not gonna work.
I got your guy locked in my sights,
And I will shoot him no matter what.
Unless you want to be the second victim,
I suggest you hold very still.
Who are you kidding, man?
If you were gonna kill him,
You would have shot him already.
This is personal.
I'm waiting to see the right look on his face.
Okay, remember when we were in the room,
And I was talkin' about trampolines?
Well, they're incredibly therapeutic.
So why don't you and I go find ourselves a big one
And bounce like gentlemen?
Are you suicidal? Is that it?
- Aah! - Mmm!
Get out of the car!
Hands in the air! Hands in the air!
Get out.
You got him? - I got him.
You all right?
Let me ask you a question.
Do you hate waking up with bed head in the mornings?
What? I can't--
You know what? Never mind.
It's okay.
Karen, you want to tell me what this is all about?
Wanted you to know
That I saw you at the pizza place.
Well, you know,
I missed a lot of shawn's games
When he was a kid.
I just wanted to see him work.
Exactly how much input do you have
In shawn's cases?
Well...
Well, I...
Get involved in the process, I guess,
And then his, uh...
You know, his psychic-ness, it just takes over.
You retired young, didn't you?
Yeah, maybe a little.
And you like being involved in these cases?
I'd be lying to you to you if I didn't tell you
That I still got a little bit of fuel left in my tank.
I don't have any regrets. I've learned that.
Do you want a job?
What?
Look, what happened this week is a mess,
And it can't happen again.
We've been discussing for quite a while
Creating a new position, a liaison of sorts,
That would oversee our external divisions.
Working with other departments, agencies, outside lp.
Psychics.
Our consultants would fall under that category, yes.
Wow.
Look, don't get me wrong.
The benefits far outweigh the costs,
But your son has turned this department on its head
Over the last four years.
Try my life over the last 30.
It wouldn't be a full-time position,
Just part-time, few days a week.
We could discuss your schedule.
All it would take is just a little consideration
On your part.
All right, listen, karen,
That's a very astute observation,
And a fascinating offer,
But I think I'm gonna stay retired.
And say thank you.
You're sure?
Who are you talkin' to?
Credit card company.
Oh, yes, as I was saying,
Somebody used my card
To purchase a zebra-striped jacket.
I would like that charge removed.
You charged that zebra-striped jacket.
Gus, I said somebody.
Doesn't mean it wasn't me.
How was I supposed to know that snowden's check was bogus?
Yes, of course, I'll hold.
I love holding.
There's a lesson to be learned here, shawn.
Do not spend your think tank money
Before you know whether the think tank is run
By a vindictive murderer or not.
The real lesson is that we need to get
Into corporate consulting, because that is where
We will build our nest egg.
- And by nest egg you mean? - Exactly.
A giant trampoline for the office.
We'll never get another corporate gig anyway,
So it doesn't matter.
[telephone rings
Dude, we have two lines?
Who do we know in the bulgarian consulate?
oh, that's me.
Here. Uh, here, trade.
Another consulting gig.
Hola!
Como esta usted?
Mi llamo es shawnito rodriguez.
Mi gusta bulgaria
Y trampolina gigante!
Explosianos.
Por...Por que?
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