1
00:00:00,799 --> 00:00:03,112
That's highway department's problem,
not mine.
2
00:00:06,888 --> 00:00:08,265
I'm gonna have to call you back.
3
00:00:09,422 --> 00:00:11,310
Alright, what are you three doing here?
4
00:00:11,430 --> 00:00:12,543
Aren't you supposed to be in school?
5
00:00:12,604 --> 00:00:15,169
Yeah, well we came to see that ufo
you cleared from that field this morning.
6
00:00:15,458 --> 00:00:16,573
You mean the weather balloon?
7
00:00:16,693 --> 00:00:17,682
They got to him.
8
00:00:17,802 --> 00:00:19,146
Who got to me, Dennis?
9
00:00:19,266 --> 00:00:22,874
The secret government agency
in charge of extra-terrestrial cover-ups.
10
00:00:23,750 --> 00:00:24,948
How much are they paying you?
11
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,135
All right, that's enough, guys.
12
00:00:26,203 --> 00:00:27,770
Back to school now.
13
00:00:27,838 --> 00:00:29,772
Do you think this is
a game, Mr. Spencer?
14
00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,173
I assure you, it's not.
15
00:00:31,241 --> 00:00:33,743
Inside that grounded
cassiopeian death pod
16
00:00:33,810 --> 00:00:36,412
sits an army of glornokian
mercenaries
17
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,080
intent on colonizing our planet
18
00:00:38,148 --> 00:00:39,882
and propagating
their evil species.
19
00:00:39,950 --> 00:00:42,118
After they probe us.
20
00:00:45,589 --> 00:00:47,656
We should go. He's packing.
Yeah.
21
00:00:47,724 --> 00:00:50,259
There are no such things
as UFOs, Shawn.
22
00:00:57,534 --> 00:01:00,436
So the plaintiff is entitled
to compensatory
23
00:01:00,504 --> 00:01:05,007
and punitive damages,
per article 35-a, section "j,"
24
00:01:05,075 --> 00:01:07,810
which stip... which, uh...
[loud mechanized humming]
25
00:01:28,532 --> 00:01:31,100
[Violent shaking]
26
00:01:35,072 --> 00:01:37,940
[Loud, deep hum]
27
00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:46,115
Oh, Jesus! Toby!
28
00:01:46,183 --> 00:01:48,451
Hey, Roy.
Are you... are you okay?
29
00:01:48,518 --> 00:01:52,521
Just came by to drop off
the Patterson file...
30
00:01:52,589 --> 00:01:54,490
And some refills.
31
00:01:54,558 --> 00:01:56,592
Oh, yeah, right.
32
00:01:56,660 --> 00:02:00,329
Um, listen, did you notice
any commotion a moment ago?
33
00:02:00,397 --> 00:02:02,431
No. No.
34
00:02:02,499 --> 00:02:03,766
What kind of commotion
are we talking about?
35
00:03:07,564 --> 00:03:10,799
Toby. Toby!
36
00:03:10,867 --> 00:03:12,668
Toby, where are you going?
Toby, no!
37
00:03:56,813 --> 00:03:58,747
Aren't you forgetting
something?
38
00:03:58,815 --> 00:04:03,219
- No.
- Hey! Hey!
39
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,720
Chief said we were supposed
to let him
40
00:04:04,788 --> 00:04:06,121
drive around with us,
get to know our process.
41
00:04:06,189 --> 00:04:07,523
We are not currently driving.
42
00:04:07,591 --> 00:04:09,458
You need to stop taking
your frustration with Shawn
43
00:04:09,526 --> 00:04:10,659
out on Henry.
44
00:04:10,727 --> 00:04:12,461
Better him than
the neighbor's cat.
45
00:04:13,697 --> 00:04:16,065
Ow.
46
00:04:18,435 --> 00:04:21,203
I... I could have suffocated
in there!
47
00:04:21,271 --> 00:04:22,705
Jeez, I cracked the window.
48
00:04:22,772 --> 00:04:23,672
- I'm glad that Shawn
peanut-buttered your phone
49
00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:24,673
the other day.
50
00:04:24,741 --> 00:04:26,308
I knew that was him.
51
00:04:26,376 --> 00:04:29,778
- Guys!
- I still have jif in my ear.
52
00:04:29,846 --> 00:04:32,014
Mr. Kessler,
I am Detective O'Hara,
53
00:04:32,082 --> 00:04:34,183
and this is Detective Lassiter,
and this is Henry Spencer,
54
00:04:34,251 --> 00:04:36,885
who helps us coordinate
our investigations.
55
00:04:36,953 --> 00:04:38,721
So, sir, I understand
56
00:04:38,788 --> 00:04:40,456
you witnessed a kidnapping
last night.
57
00:04:40,523 --> 00:04:42,358
I'd say it was more
of an abduction.
58
00:04:42,425 --> 00:04:44,159
Do you have any idea
who the perpetrator was?
59
00:04:44,227 --> 00:04:46,862
Yes!
An extraterrestrial.
60
00:04:46,930 --> 00:04:49,031
How come the crazies
never live close by?
61
00:04:49,099 --> 00:04:50,532
Listen, I know it sounds nuts,
62
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:51,900
but I'm telling you,
I saw it with my own eyes.
63
00:04:51,968 --> 00:04:55,337
An alien came down
and snatched a young lawyer
64
00:04:55,405 --> 00:04:56,605
that works at my firm...
Toby shore.
65
00:04:56,673 --> 00:04:58,173
Mr. Kessler, no offense,
66
00:04:58,241 --> 00:05:00,009
but I think you're gonna have
a hard time
67
00:05:00,076 --> 00:05:01,410
finding anyone to believe
a story like that.
68
00:05:01,478 --> 00:05:02,745
Was he tall and scaly,
69
00:05:02,812 --> 00:05:04,546
or short, with a huge
lollipop head?
70
00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:05,948
Tall, I think.
71
00:05:06,016 --> 00:05:07,683
- Reptilian.
- Probably hostile.
72
00:05:07,751 --> 00:05:09,685
All right, people, we're gonna
need a speak & spell
73
00:05:09,753 --> 00:05:11,086
and seven pounds
of mashed potatoes.
74
00:05:11,154 --> 00:05:12,388
Enough!
75
00:05:12,455 --> 00:05:13,555
Mr. Kessler, if your co-worker
doesn't show up
76
00:05:13,623 --> 00:05:15,257
in the next eight hours,
77
00:05:15,325 --> 00:05:18,193
feel free to file
a missing persons report.
78
00:05:18,261 --> 00:05:19,762
Until then,
stop wasting our time.
79
00:05:19,829 --> 00:05:21,297
You owe me a new phone!
80
00:05:25,769 --> 00:05:29,138
You have a very nice home.
81
00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:31,707
This ufo, was it more like
a bright sphere,
82
00:05:31,775 --> 00:05:34,109
or two soup bowls
glued together?
83
00:05:34,177 --> 00:05:37,279
No, it was a sphere,
definitely.
84
00:05:37,347 --> 00:05:38,781
What are you guys?
Are you ufo chasers?
85
00:05:38,848 --> 00:05:42,418
Nothing as ridiculous as that.
We're psychic detectives.
86
00:05:42,485 --> 00:05:43,919
And we can help you
get to the bottom
87
00:05:43,987 --> 00:05:47,423
of what happened last night.
Ah, fantastic. You're hired.
88
00:05:47,490 --> 00:05:49,625
Shawn!
May I have a word?
89
00:05:49,693 --> 00:05:51,960
Excuse us.
90
00:05:52,028 --> 00:05:56,098
I... I really don't think
you should take this case.
91
00:05:56,166 --> 00:05:57,099
Well, I don't think
you should be dropping the dime
92
00:05:57,167 --> 00:05:58,534
on my peanut butter pranks.
93
00:05:58,601 --> 00:06:00,035
Look, we all know
there's 0% chance
94
00:06:00,103 --> 00:06:01,637
that you don't end up
believing this kook.
95
00:06:01,705 --> 00:06:02,838
How do you figure that?
96
00:06:02,906 --> 00:06:04,340
Because you want
to believe him, Shawn.
97
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,741
Just like you wanted to believe
98
00:06:05,809 --> 00:06:07,710
it wasn't a weather balloon
when you were a kid,
99
00:06:07,777 --> 00:06:08,610
and you wanted to believe
that it was aliens
100
00:06:08,678 --> 00:06:10,245
that abducted Joe Piscopo.
101
00:06:10,313 --> 00:06:11,580
That remains my theory
until someone can
102
00:06:11,648 --> 00:06:12,948
pinpoint the man's whereabouts.
103
00:06:13,016 --> 00:06:14,683
Don't worry, Mr. Spencer,
I promise you
104
00:06:14,751 --> 00:06:16,785
we will not let our interest
in UFOs affect our judgment.
105
00:06:16,853 --> 00:06:18,921
Good. 'Cause you
run around town
106
00:06:18,988 --> 00:06:21,090
telling everybody
that an alien did this,
107
00:06:21,157 --> 00:06:23,392
you're gonna look like
a couple of nut jobs.
108
00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:25,994
Shawn, I can't hire nut jobs.
109
00:06:26,062 --> 00:06:27,463
Dad, would you relax, please?
110
00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:30,265
Obviously we don't think
aliens are responsible.
111
00:06:30,333 --> 00:06:31,567
Good.
[horn honks]
112
00:06:31,634 --> 00:06:35,204
Hold your horses!
113
00:06:38,041 --> 00:06:41,677
Because if aliens did do this,
114
00:06:41,745 --> 00:06:43,612
there'd be signs
of electrical disruptions.
115
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:48,016
[Chuckles] Exactly!
116
00:06:48,084 --> 00:06:49,752
What else would we see, Gus?
117
00:06:49,819 --> 00:06:50,919
Well, there would
most definitely be
118
00:06:50,987 --> 00:06:53,188
a visible ground disturbance.
119
00:06:55,358 --> 00:06:57,459
Right.
120
00:06:57,527 --> 00:06:59,428
So where do you guys
want to start?
121
00:06:59,496 --> 00:07:01,797
How 'bout your terrace?
122
00:07:07,270 --> 00:07:10,172
Whoa.
123
00:07:10,173 --> 00:07:30,173
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
124
00:07:37,448 --> 00:07:39,305
All those people
who gave you, Dennis, and I flak
125
00:07:39,373 --> 00:07:40,973
for believing in aliens
in school...
126
00:07:41,041 --> 00:07:43,542
Jeff Garrett, and that
female Russian exchange student
127
00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:45,011
who stole my wallet...
128
00:07:45,078 --> 00:07:46,645
they're gonna eat their words
when this goes public.
129
00:07:46,713 --> 00:07:48,047
I've got news, Gus.
130
00:07:48,115 --> 00:07:49,882
Toby shore was not abducted
by an alien.
131
00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:52,752
What? But what about
the lights and grass and stuff?
132
00:07:52,819 --> 00:07:55,287
It's time we learned
it's never the crazy suspect.
133
00:07:55,355 --> 00:07:56,922
It wasn't a mummy.
It wasn't the devil.
134
00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:58,190
It wasn't even bigfoot.
135
00:07:58,258 --> 00:07:59,625
Bigfoot?
When did we suspect bigfoot?
136
00:07:59,693 --> 00:08:01,027
Missing school bus case.
137
00:08:01,094 --> 00:08:02,862
Remember, there were
bite marks in cushion.
138
00:08:02,929 --> 00:08:04,964
The driver's seat was
pushed back six feet.
139
00:08:05,032 --> 00:08:07,600
Okay, okay, you're probably
right that it's not an alien,
140
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:09,902
but why don't we keep
investigating just to be sure.
141
00:08:09,970 --> 00:08:12,438
Because my dad actually makes
a valid point.
142
00:08:12,506 --> 00:08:14,507
It's gonna be hard to get
any objective work done
143
00:08:14,574 --> 00:08:16,542
when we're both secretly hoping
that it's an alien.
144
00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,544
So we can rub it
in Jeff Garrett's face.
145
00:08:18,612 --> 00:08:20,012
No, Gus, we have to
let that go.
146
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,414
So what are you saying,
that we pass on the case?
147
00:08:21,481 --> 00:08:24,383
No. You're $1,200 balance
on your j.C. Penny card
148
00:08:24,451 --> 00:08:25,851
is not gonna pay for itself.
149
00:08:25,919 --> 00:08:28,754
We'll just have to acknowledge
our mutual tendency
150
00:08:28,822 --> 00:08:30,389
to think unreasonably
about this topic,
151
00:08:30,457 --> 00:08:32,224
police ourselves accordingly.
152
00:08:32,292 --> 00:08:34,860
- How?
- All right...
153
00:08:34,928 --> 00:08:37,029
If one of us starts leaning
towards the alien theory,
154
00:08:37,097 --> 00:08:38,764
other one gets to
flick him in the ear.
155
00:08:38,832 --> 00:08:40,299
That's an incredibly
stupid idea.
156
00:08:40,367 --> 00:08:41,901
You have exactly three seconds
to beat it.
157
00:08:41,968 --> 00:08:43,936
Three, two, one...
pbbbt!
158
00:08:44,004 --> 00:08:47,306
Now, how is that fair?
159
00:08:47,374 --> 00:08:50,910
Now, let's find out what,
if anything,
160
00:08:50,977 --> 00:08:53,712
happened here last night.
161
00:08:55,982 --> 00:08:57,817
Roy?
May I call you Phil?
162
00:08:57,884 --> 00:08:59,552
I'd rather you didn't.
163
00:08:59,619 --> 00:09:01,120
Fair enough.
164
00:09:01,188 --> 00:09:02,521
How many beers
did you have last night?
165
00:09:02,589 --> 00:09:05,925
Just one.
Aw, come on, what...
166
00:09:05,992 --> 00:09:08,260
are you implying that I
beer-goggled an alien abduction?
167
00:09:08,328 --> 00:09:09,829
Happened to Gus last New Years.
168
00:09:09,896 --> 00:09:11,063
I hit the white zin hard.
169
00:09:11,131 --> 00:09:13,799
I promise you,
I was sober as a judge.
170
00:09:13,867 --> 00:09:16,368
Let me ask you this.
171
00:09:16,436 --> 00:09:17,303
If Toby wasn't abducted
last night,
172
00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:18,537
what happened to him?
173
00:09:18,605 --> 00:09:20,106
Maybe he left
when you weren't looking.
174
00:09:20,173 --> 00:09:22,007
His car's still
in the driveway.
175
00:09:22,075 --> 00:09:23,209
And listen to this.
176
00:09:23,276 --> 00:09:24,110
When I went out
to move it this morning,
177
00:09:24,177 --> 00:09:25,244
it wouldn't start.
178
00:09:25,312 --> 00:09:27,713
The car's brand-new!
- Really?
179
00:09:27,781 --> 00:09:29,849
You know, cars often lose
battery power
180
00:09:29,916 --> 00:09:34,120
when they come in contact
with UFOs... ow!
181
00:09:34,187 --> 00:09:36,489
Thank you.
Have you tried calling him?
182
00:09:36,556 --> 00:09:37,990
Yeah.
About 50 times.
183
00:09:38,058 --> 00:09:39,258
Just goes straight
to voice mail.
184
00:09:39,326 --> 00:09:41,393
Maybe he's out of range.
Aah!
185
00:09:41,461 --> 00:09:42,695
What the hell was that for?
186
00:09:42,762 --> 00:09:44,163
You were implying
he's in space.
187
00:09:44,231 --> 00:09:47,766
- No, I wasn't.
- Yes, you were.
188
00:09:47,834 --> 00:09:50,803
Where are you going?
189
00:09:50,871 --> 00:09:53,005
Mr. Kessler, maybe we should
talk to your neighbors
190
00:09:53,073 --> 00:09:53,873
to see if they saw anything.
191
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:55,407
Good luck with that.
192
00:09:55,475 --> 00:09:57,376
The nearest one's about
half a mile away.
193
00:09:57,444 --> 00:10:00,312
Listen, you gotta believe me.
194
00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:02,448
I was just sitting
at the desk last night,
195
00:10:02,516 --> 00:10:04,183
and the whole house
started to shake.
196
00:10:04,251 --> 00:10:05,084
And then there were
these lights,
197
00:10:05,152 --> 00:10:06,218
and then this...
198
00:10:06,286 --> 00:10:08,254
I was hearing this weird sound.
199
00:10:08,321 --> 00:10:09,889
It sounded like...
200
00:10:09,956 --> 00:10:14,460
[a la close encounters...]
♪ zong...Shong...Bong... ♪
201
00:10:14,528 --> 00:10:15,828
♪ naa... ♪
202
00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:17,563
no, it sounded nothing
like that.
203
00:10:17,631 --> 00:10:19,465
Oh, really. Sorry.
204
00:10:19,533 --> 00:10:21,700
I was actually trying
to make this sound.
205
00:10:21,768 --> 00:10:24,236
[Noises from night before]
206
00:10:24,304 --> 00:10:27,206
That's it! That's it!
That's the sound.
207
00:10:27,274 --> 00:10:28,507
You weren't even close.
208
00:10:28,575 --> 00:10:30,409
You know I struggle
with tone deafness.
209
00:10:30,477 --> 00:10:33,479
Why would you...
now do you believe me?
210
00:10:33,547 --> 00:10:35,748
Before we answer that question,
211
00:10:35,815 --> 00:10:37,750
we'll need to consult
an expert.
212
00:10:47,694 --> 00:10:50,963
Hi, we're looking for
Dennis Gogolack.
213
00:10:51,031 --> 00:10:53,632
Shawn? Gus?
214
00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:55,467
- Dennis?
- No.
215
00:10:55,535 --> 00:10:57,002
Get the hell out of here.
216
00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:59,538
I don't believe it!
217
00:10:59,606 --> 00:11:01,173
What an awesome surprise!
What are you guys doing?
218
00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:02,374
It's been forever!
219
00:11:02,442 --> 00:11:03,876
Wow, we didn't even
recognize you,
220
00:11:03,944 --> 00:11:05,211
now that you're...
221
00:11:05,278 --> 00:11:07,313
- What, not fat and nerdy?
- Well...
222
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:08,681
It's okay.
It's the truth.
223
00:11:08,748 --> 00:11:10,716
I credit my personal trainer
and lasiks.
224
00:11:10,784 --> 00:11:12,451
Losing the wizard's cloak
also helped.
225
00:11:12,519 --> 00:11:13,786
Come on, get inside here!
226
00:11:16,856 --> 00:11:20,192
Wow.
That's interesting.
227
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,294
Yeah, my wife's into stuff
that dangles.
228
00:11:22,362 --> 00:11:23,963
Looks like the software
business
229
00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:24,964
has been good to you, Dennis.
230
00:11:25,031 --> 00:11:26,799
[Footsteps on stairs]
231
00:11:29,069 --> 00:11:30,736
Very good.
232
00:11:30,804 --> 00:11:33,505
Oh, hey, guys.
I'm Dennis' wife, Molly.
233
00:11:33,573 --> 00:11:36,208
That was the creepiest "very"
that I've ever heard.
234
00:11:36,276 --> 00:11:37,409
- Hey.
- Hi.
235
00:11:37,477 --> 00:11:41,947
Babe, this is Shawn and Gus.
236
00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:43,983
Two good friends of mine
from back in grade school.
237
00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:45,651
And now they're
psychic detectives.
238
00:11:45,719 --> 00:11:47,052
How cool is that?
Really cool.
239
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,487
Nice meeting you guys.
240
00:11:48,555 --> 00:11:49,722
Why didn't you tell me
that we were
241
00:11:49,789 --> 00:11:50,990
having friends over, Denny?
242
00:11:51,057 --> 00:11:53,626
Actually, we didn't
give Denny
243
00:11:53,693 --> 00:11:56,462
much of a heads up.
Here's the thing...
244
00:11:56,529 --> 00:11:58,397
We're investigating a case
that may have involved
245
00:11:58,465 --> 00:11:59,732
an alien abduction!
246
00:11:59,799 --> 00:12:01,934
And being that your husband is
247
00:12:02,002 --> 00:12:04,370
one of the foremost experts
on the topic...
248
00:12:04,437 --> 00:12:08,274
[Nervous laughter]
249
00:12:08,341 --> 00:12:10,175
I'm... I'm sorry, guys,
I'm afraid
250
00:12:10,243 --> 00:12:11,677
I'm not much
of an expert anymore.
251
00:12:11,745 --> 00:12:15,180
Pbbbt! It's been 20 years
since I was into that stuff.
252
00:12:15,248 --> 00:12:17,449
Oh, well, that's...
same here, bro, I mean...
253
00:12:17,517 --> 00:12:18,917
beer.
254
00:12:18,985 --> 00:12:21,487
Yeah, Denny is a total jock.
255
00:12:21,554 --> 00:12:23,856
Guilty.
I'm guilty as charged.
256
00:12:23,923 --> 00:12:25,658
- Wow.
- They did, like, a little..
257
00:12:25,725 --> 00:12:27,226
- Explosion.
- Yeah.
258
00:12:27,294 --> 00:12:28,327
But hey, you guys don't have
to take off yet.
259
00:12:28,395 --> 00:12:29,595
We've got some catching up
to do.
260
00:12:29,663 --> 00:12:31,563
Actually, we're under
a bit of a time crunch.
261
00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:32,598
No, no, no, let me just
give you
262
00:12:32,666 --> 00:12:34,366
a quick tour of the place.
263
00:12:34,434 --> 00:12:36,068
Denny, I was actually gonna go
hang with the girls, though.
264
00:12:36,136 --> 00:12:37,036
Is that okay?
Yeah.
265
00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:38,871
Okay.
Nice meeting you guys.
266
00:12:38,938 --> 00:12:40,773
- Very nice.
- Stop it.
267
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,375
Come on.
Come check out my office!
268
00:12:43,443 --> 00:12:45,277
All right.
269
00:12:48,782 --> 00:12:51,483
I gotta say, Dennis,
I'm surprised that you,
270
00:12:51,551 --> 00:12:53,385
of all people,
outgrew the whole nerd thing.
271
00:12:53,453 --> 00:12:56,088
I mean, come on, you were
a class-three dungeon master
272
00:12:56,156 --> 00:12:57,589
with your own set of custom
12-sided dice.
273
00:12:57,657 --> 00:13:01,026
[Door shuts]
274
00:13:10,570 --> 00:13:13,138
Let's go.
275
00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:14,807
What...
276
00:13:16,209 --> 00:13:20,245
Oh, my...
you are a closet nerd!
277
00:13:20,313 --> 00:13:22,214
Literally.
278
00:13:22,282 --> 00:13:24,750
Dude!
279
00:13:24,818 --> 00:13:26,118
What?
280
00:13:26,186 --> 00:13:28,387
You have a replica
of Captain Adama's helmet
281
00:13:28,455 --> 00:13:30,589
from the original
Battlestar Galactica?
282
00:13:30,657 --> 00:13:34,093
And Levar Burton's glasses
from Star Trek?
283
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:35,327
Those aren't replicas,
gentlemen.
284
00:13:35,395 --> 00:13:37,830
I got those for 15 grand a pop
at auction.
285
00:13:37,897 --> 00:13:40,065
I have never been so motivated
to make money.
286
00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:41,900
Wait till I show you
where the magic happens.
287
00:13:41,968 --> 00:13:43,168
And I mean that literally.
288
00:13:43,236 --> 00:13:44,436
There's another hidden room
downstairs
289
00:13:44,504 --> 00:13:46,372
where I practice
my magic tricks.
290
00:13:46,439 --> 00:13:47,940
Why all the secrecy?
291
00:13:48,007 --> 00:13:50,943
Well, look,
when I first met Molly,
292
00:13:51,010 --> 00:13:52,511
it was clear she was only
into guys' guys.
293
00:13:52,579 --> 00:13:55,013
So, you know, that's what
I pretended to be.
294
00:13:55,081 --> 00:13:57,015
She ended up buying it.
295
00:13:57,083 --> 00:13:58,517
I guess I've been pretending
ever since.
296
00:13:58,585 --> 00:14:01,420
Sounds exhausting.
297
00:14:01,488 --> 00:14:02,521
You have no idea.
298
00:14:02,589 --> 00:14:05,090
Every day is a new challenge.
299
00:14:05,158 --> 00:14:07,059
Whether it's trying
to draw blanks during jeopardy,
300
00:14:07,127 --> 00:14:08,394
or having to sneak in here
301
00:14:08,461 --> 00:14:11,330
every time I want to track
some ufo activity
302
00:14:11,398 --> 00:14:12,798
or sew a new renaissance
faire costume.
303
00:14:12,866 --> 00:14:14,833
Excellent stitch work,
my liege.
304
00:14:14,901 --> 00:14:17,536
Thanks, Gus.
305
00:14:17,604 --> 00:14:19,371
The worst is when I'm around
Molly's friends' husbands.
306
00:14:19,439 --> 00:14:22,141
To say inane stuff,
like "beer me,"
307
00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:24,076
or, "yeah,
I'd totally hit that."
308
00:14:24,144 --> 00:14:25,644
What, exactly,
am I hitting?
309
00:14:25,712 --> 00:14:27,045
Most likely an attractive lady.
310
00:14:27,113 --> 00:14:28,747
Okay, that's horrible.
311
00:14:28,815 --> 00:14:29,915
Is it really worth it, den?
312
00:14:29,983 --> 00:14:31,250
Have you seen my wife?
313
00:14:31,317 --> 00:14:33,852
Listen, Dennis,
we need your opinion
314
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:34,953
on this recording.
315
00:14:35,021 --> 00:14:37,689
Gus is convinced it's a ufo.
316
00:14:37,757 --> 00:14:39,158
Let's hear it.
317
00:14:39,225 --> 00:14:43,695
[Same recording as earlier]
318
00:14:43,763 --> 00:14:46,999
Based on my research,
319
00:14:47,066 --> 00:14:50,335
I'd say that's a voyager pod
from the serpens dwarf galaxy...
320
00:14:50,403 --> 00:14:52,805
Or...Bad new age music.
321
00:14:52,872 --> 00:14:54,139
But if you had to choose?
322
00:14:54,207 --> 00:14:57,242
Wait a second.
323
00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:58,577
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
324
00:14:58,645 --> 00:15:02,114
If you guys could give me
the time and location,
325
00:15:02,182 --> 00:15:03,582
I could check the sky activity.
326
00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:05,984
I hacked into the national
weather service's computer
327
00:15:06,052 --> 00:15:07,519
a few years back, and can
pretty much access
328
00:15:07,587 --> 00:15:08,854
their radar database
whenever I want.
329
00:15:08,922 --> 00:15:10,689
All right.
330
00:15:10,757 --> 00:15:12,624
Well, he lives at
25 buckskin drive.
331
00:15:12,692 --> 00:15:13,992
And it happened around
11:00 at night.
332
00:15:20,433 --> 00:15:21,400
Nothing.
333
00:15:21,468 --> 00:15:23,135
Well, what do you know.
334
00:15:28,408 --> 00:15:30,909
Wait a minute.
335
00:15:30,977 --> 00:15:34,646
You better try 10:44,
just to be safe.
336
00:15:41,855 --> 00:15:43,755
You've gotta be kidding me.
337
00:15:43,823 --> 00:15:46,992
W-what is... what is...
what is that?
338
00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:49,027
Uh, den...
339
00:15:49,095 --> 00:15:50,128
- [wheezing]
- Dennis...
340
00:15:50,196 --> 00:15:51,830
You all right there, buddy?
341
00:15:51,898 --> 00:15:55,100
[Inhales]
342
00:15:55,168 --> 00:15:57,369
She doesn't even know
that you're asthmatic?
343
00:15:57,437 --> 00:16:02,140
No.
And she never will.
344
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:05,277
[Sighs]
345
00:16:05,345 --> 00:16:07,579
All right, Gus,
346
00:16:07,647 --> 00:16:09,114
I can't believe
I'm about to say this.
347
00:16:09,182 --> 00:16:11,617
What?
348
00:16:11,684 --> 00:16:12,918
I think Toby got abducted.
349
00:16:12,986 --> 00:16:13,986
- So do I.
- You do?
350
00:16:14,053 --> 00:16:15,187
- Yes.
- Sweet.
351
00:16:15,255 --> 00:16:16,488
Why are we both
covering our ears, then?
352
00:16:16,556 --> 00:16:18,423
I don't know.
353
00:16:22,262 --> 00:16:23,595
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
354
00:16:23,663 --> 00:16:25,097
Tell me you're not calling
Jeff Garrett.
355
00:16:25,164 --> 00:16:27,432
No, Roy. He needs to know
that we believe him.
356
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,902
All right, but make sure you
tell him to keep it on the qt.
357
00:16:29,969 --> 00:16:31,203
- I know.
- All right.
358
00:16:31,271 --> 00:16:33,105
I'm standing here
just outside the home
359
00:16:33,172 --> 00:16:34,606
of prominent local attorney
Roy Kessler,
360
00:16:34,674 --> 00:16:36,074
who's joined me now,
361
00:16:36,142 --> 00:16:38,277
and has a rather shocking
announcement to make.
362
00:16:38,344 --> 00:16:39,711
Mr. Kessler.
363
00:16:39,779 --> 00:16:43,081
Well, last night I witnessed
aliens abduct
364
00:16:43,149 --> 00:16:44,383
a fellow co-worker.
365
00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:45,484
People are gonna think
he's nuts.
366
00:16:45,552 --> 00:16:46,718
And I can prove it,
367
00:16:46,786 --> 00:16:48,420
thanks to the fine
investigative work
368
00:16:48,488 --> 00:16:50,789
being done by psychic detectives
Shawn Spencer
369
00:16:50,857 --> 00:16:53,959
and...Gurton Buster.
370
00:16:54,027 --> 00:16:56,295
- Gurton what?
- Oh, my God,
371
00:16:56,362 --> 00:16:58,297
I look like k.D. Lang.
372
00:16:58,364 --> 00:16:59,598
[Telephone rings]
373
00:16:59,666 --> 00:17:00,432
What kind of proof
are we talking about?
374
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:01,466
Well, I know, I know.
375
00:17:01,534 --> 00:17:02,668
It does sound shocking...
376
00:17:02,735 --> 00:17:05,837
Yes, dad, we'll be right there.
377
00:17:11,578 --> 00:17:14,479
Before you go off on us,
answer me this question.
378
00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:16,715
Do you think that picture of me
on the news
379
00:17:16,783 --> 00:17:18,817
makes me look like I should be
singing constant craving?
380
00:17:18,885 --> 00:17:20,852
Shawn, what'd I tell you
about taking this case?
381
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,588
Mr. Spencer, we have
hard evidence on this one.
382
00:17:22,655 --> 00:17:24,156
Not to mention the fact
that Roy Kessler is
383
00:17:24,223 --> 00:17:25,691
a respected attorney,
384
00:17:25,758 --> 00:17:27,926
not some crazy
conspiracy theorist.
385
00:17:27,994 --> 00:17:29,494
Are you kidding?
That's exactly what he is!
386
00:17:29,562 --> 00:17:32,331
Shawn, have you ever heard
of budding textiles?
387
00:17:32,398 --> 00:17:33,632
That's the company that had
to fork out millions
388
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:34,933
for the chemical spill.
389
00:17:35,001 --> 00:17:36,635
- Uh-huh. It got
hundreds of people sick.
390
00:17:36,703 --> 00:17:38,937
And you know who thinks
it was done on purpose?
391
00:17:39,005 --> 00:17:41,073
- Erin Brokovich.
- Roy Kessler.
392
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:43,742
He's preparing a lawsuit
against them.
393
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:45,644
We didn't know that.
394
00:17:45,712 --> 00:17:46,979
Yeah, I suppose
you also didn't know
395
00:17:47,046 --> 00:17:48,981
he's being heavily medicated
for anxiety.
396
00:17:49,048 --> 00:17:52,317
He misses a dose, and he's prone
to psychotic episodes.
397
00:17:52,385 --> 00:17:55,253
Last year, he claims
to have seen a panda
398
00:17:55,321 --> 00:17:56,688
in his company's kitchen.
399
00:17:56,756 --> 00:17:59,958
That's not crazy at all.
Pandas are big eaters.
400
00:18:00,026 --> 00:18:01,093
Ten years ago,
Kessler claimed...
401
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,661
you got it...
402
00:18:02,729 --> 00:18:04,496
he saw a ufo while on vacation.
403
00:18:04,564 --> 00:18:06,098
Saucer or sphere?
404
00:18:06,165 --> 00:18:07,666
You know, you two wouldn't
have missed this kind of stuff
405
00:18:07,734 --> 00:18:10,068
if you hadn't been so blinded
by your childish interests,
406
00:18:10,136 --> 00:18:12,204
okay, first of all,
the only thing
407
00:18:12,271 --> 00:18:14,039
we were blinded by is...
Science!
408
00:18:14,107 --> 00:18:15,307
- That never gets old
- Nope.
409
00:18:15,375 --> 00:18:17,242
Tell me this...
if Toby wasn't abducted,
410
00:18:17,310 --> 00:18:18,777
where the hell is he?
411
00:18:18,845 --> 00:18:20,245
Right in there.
412
00:18:20,313 --> 00:18:22,881
...Morning.
413
00:18:22,949 --> 00:18:25,017
- This morning.
- He really kind of...
414
00:18:25,084 --> 00:18:26,952
He took a cab to his
parents' house that night
415
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:28,654
after his car wouldn't start.
416
00:18:28,721 --> 00:18:31,390
Turned off his phone,
and he slept in.
417
00:18:31,457 --> 00:18:34,426
[Sighs]
418
00:18:34,494 --> 00:18:36,428
Nice going, man.
419
00:18:36,496 --> 00:18:38,330
- Ow!
- Ow!
420
00:18:38,398 --> 00:18:40,032
- Ow!
- Ow! Unh...
421
00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:42,868
Stop!
422
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,728
I remember him muttering
all this stuff
423
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,930
about lights and ships.
424
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,633
I thought it was just Roy
being Roy.
425
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:55,867
And then I turned on
the tv today
426
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,602
and heard his insane theory.
427
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,671
- I wouldn't call it insane.
- Would you let it go?
428
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:02,741
I tried everything I could
to get him to take his meds.
429
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,609
I would even pick them up
at the pharmacy for him
430
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:06,811
and bring them to him directly.
431
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,314
Man, he's gonna hear it
at the office on Monday.
432
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:10,482
Actually, your firm just
suspended him
433
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:11,883
until he completes
a month's stay
434
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,318
in a mental health facility.
435
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:16,755
Wow. Who's gonna get
all his cases?
436
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,456
We're available.
437
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:19,958
Isn't that right,
Mr. Spencer?
438
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,994
Gus here is a whiz
at legal zoom,
439
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:24,596
and my cousin has
a personal injury law firm
440
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,464
called accidentes.
Heard of it?
441
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:28,533
- No, I haven't.
- You will. You will.
442
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,603
Good work, people.
Papa bear.
443
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:41,346
[Laughing]
444
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,417
You know what, Gus,
I really don't appreciate
445
00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:46,851
being snickered at.
446
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,787
Never again are we
investigating something
447
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,655
related to one
of our childhood obsessions.
448
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:51,890
What if there's
a pop rocks murder?
449
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,024
That is the exception.
450
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,993
Excuse me, Spencer.
451
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:57,629
Quick question.
452
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,097
How does it feel to be so wrong
453
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,666
that you are now...
A walking joke?
454
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,402
Just like you, minus the
kind boots and the soft eyes.
455
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:08,540
Ha! Wow, this is really
a big moment for me.
456
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:12,210
I may even do a little dance.
457
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:15,213
Oh, yes, I will.
458
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:16,581
♪ No, he doesn't care ♪
459
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,650
all right, that's it, Gus.
460
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,185
We are gonna find out
what really happened,
461
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:21,753
and we are gonna clear
our good names.
462
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,388
Let me ask you something.
463
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:24,723
If you were an up and comer
at a law firm,
464
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:25,623
and you were abducted
by aliens...
465
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:26,925
because that happens.
466
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,426
Would you tell anyone?
467
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:30,595
I know I wouldn't, because
they would think I was nuts.
468
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,163
Like I do right now.
469
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,431
That dude was not abducted,
Gus.
470
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:35,567
Okay, well,
you have three seconds
471
00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:37,669
to come up with a better theory
to explain all this weirdness.
472
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:38,570
- All right.
- Three, two, one...Bzzzz!
473
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:40,005
That's my trick.
474
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,873
How do you explain
the radar, the recording,
475
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,241
the indentation on the lawn?
476
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:45,043
Let me tell you.
It was a plane on the radar.
477
00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:47,012
Someone cranking yanni
on the recorder.
478
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,813
And the indentation could have
been a million things.
479
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,515
Shawn, how do you explain
the three strange markings
480
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,684
on Toby's arm?
You saw those?
481
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:53,818
Of course I did.
482
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,653
And I didn't have to do this.
483
00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:56,855
Are you mocking my
"it's a clue" face?
484
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:57,956
- Yep.
- Do it again.
485
00:20:58,024 --> 00:21:00,091
I don't look like that.
Yes, you do.
486
00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:01,626
You're a bastard.
487
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:02,727
Shawn, you know that
abductees often have
488
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:03,661
strange markings on their skin.
489
00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:04,763
So do I when I don't use
490
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,598
enough sunscreen...
now come here.
491
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,203
Stand still and let me
flick your ear.
492
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,304
He was abducted, Shawn.
493
00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:14,372
- Was not.
- Yes, he was.
494
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,540
- No, he wasn't.
- Yes, he was.
495
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:16,508
- Was not. Wasn't.
- Yes, he was.
496
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:18,343
Wasn't infinity!
497
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,045
If you're gonna act
like a child about this,
498
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,346
then we're gonna have to
bring in a third party
499
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:23,048
to settle this disagreement.
Fine. Who?
500
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,716
He was definitely abducted.
501
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:25,817
The markings combined with
the other details
502
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:26,851
have me convinced.
503
00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:28,420
Why would I tag in a guy
504
00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:29,988
with a custom-made
ewok costume?
505
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:32,123
Hey, what's the name
of that law firm he works at?
506
00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:33,825
Uh, wilcox, Kessler,
and something.
507
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,827
Hold on.
What are you doing?
508
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:39,397
Getting his work address
so you can spy on this guy.
509
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,533
Look, fellas, you have to see
510
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,802
if he's exhibiting the other
telltale abduction signs.
511
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:45,370
You know this.
Paranoia!
512
00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:46,971
The compulsion to travel
to unknown areas.
513
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,807
Suicidal tendencies.
514
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:50,041
Spewing nonsense
with authority.
515
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:51,709
Oh, wait, that's you guys.
516
00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:53,411
You mock, but I'm still waiting
517
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,246
on a better theory from you.
518
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,656
All right.
It was Toby.
519
00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:08,393
Why did he just
tilt his head and squint?
520
00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:09,727
It's his "I got a clue" face.
521
00:22:09,795 --> 00:22:11,196
Think about it, "gust."
522
00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:13,131
Toby knew he stood to inherit
all of Roy's cases
523
00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:14,666
if he could just
get him out of the way.
524
00:22:14,733 --> 00:22:16,067
So he arranged for him
to have one of his
525
00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:17,035
psychotic episodes.
526
00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:18,503
How?
527
00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:22,073
I would even pick the meds up
from the pharmacy
528
00:22:22,141 --> 00:22:23,775
and bring them to him directly.
529
00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:25,677
By tampering with his meds.
530
00:22:25,744 --> 00:22:28,446
And you know what,
it worked like a charm.
531
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:30,415
Roy goes nuts.
The next day,
532
00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:32,317
Toby's a major player
at the firm.
533
00:22:32,384 --> 00:22:34,052
Let's go.
Where are we going?
534
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,954
Well, we're gonna take
Dennis' advice,
535
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,489
do a little spying on our boy.
536
00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:39,624
What can I do?
537
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,793
You could lend us
some sweet disguises.
538
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,528
Fellas, just tell me
what you need.
539
00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:49,767
I have never felt cooler.
540
00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:51,002
You've never looked cooler.
541
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:53,037
Dennis is gonna have
to pry this helmet
542
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:55,707
of my cold, dead noggin.
543
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:58,710
There's Toby.
544
00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:06,518
Dude, he's sweating
and shaking.
545
00:23:06,585 --> 00:23:08,686
Have you been seeing clues
this whole time?
546
00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:11,623
Paranoia is one of the
telltale signs of an abduction.
547
00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:13,424
It's also the sign of a guy
with a guilty conscience.
548
00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:14,993
Stop saying stupid things.
549
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:18,663
You're a disgrace
to those glasses.
550
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,131
He's bolting, Gus!
551
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:26,271
He's wandering
to unknown areas.
552
00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:28,206
This helmet is not made
for running!
553
00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:30,208
I should have borrowed
charlton heston's scarf
554
00:23:30,276 --> 00:23:32,410
from soylent green.
555
00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:40,418
I can't see
out these glasses, Shawn.
556
00:23:40,486 --> 00:23:43,021
Where'd he go?
Where'd he go?
557
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:46,291
We lost him.
Son of a...
558
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:49,027
[Cell phone rings]
559
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:50,895
Hello?
Is this Shawn Spencer?
560
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:53,164
Toby?
561
00:23:53,232 --> 00:23:55,099
You gotta help me.
They're following me.
562
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:56,167
Whoa, whoa.
Calm down, man.
563
00:23:56,235 --> 00:23:57,602
Who's...
who's following you?
564
00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,037
I don't know.
565
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:00,838
I think it's the black dude
from star trek
566
00:24:00,906 --> 00:24:03,107
and some white guy
in a ridiculous helmet.
567
00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:05,376
Which is your opinion.
Where are you?
568
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:06,711
Listen to me.
569
00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:10,949
Roy Kessler was telling
the truth.
570
00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:14,252
Okay...
You need to come meet us.
571
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:15,620
I can't.
It's too dangerous.
572
00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:18,022
Uh, meet me in an hour in front
of the Lansdowne hotel.
573
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:19,524
Lansdowne. Got it.
574
00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:21,893
Dude, did you just break
Dennis' helmet?
575
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:25,330
Well, it clearly wasn't made
for running, Gus.
576
00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:27,232
You...
577
00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:32,870
was that scarf worth
going back to Dennis'?
578
00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:34,372
Is soylent green people?
579
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,975
Now let's go get this confession
out of Toby.
580
00:24:37,042 --> 00:24:38,743
You mean admission
that he was abducted.
581
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,845
- Let's start with the
non-batcrap angle, shall we?
582
00:24:40,913 --> 00:24:43,081
Shawn, you heard him say
Kessler was telling the truth.
583
00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:45,783
Gus, you're really putting me
in a tough spot here, man.
584
00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:47,151
You don't think I want
to be the guy riffing
585
00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:49,454
on how aliens abducted Toby,
586
00:24:49,521 --> 00:24:51,089
and what they did to him when
they brought him on board
587
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:52,557
the mother ship?
588
00:24:52,625 --> 00:24:54,225
They probed him and placed
an embryo in his stomach
589
00:24:54,293 --> 00:24:55,827
that's gonna hatch
out his eardrum in 12 days.
590
00:24:55,894 --> 00:24:57,262
I can't do it!
Someone has to hold
591
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:58,630
the sanity bag
in this partnership,
592
00:24:58,697 --> 00:24:59,764
and quite frankly,
593
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,099
I miss the days
when it used to be you.
594
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,901
Shawn, he's exhibiting
all the telltale signs.
595
00:25:03,969 --> 00:25:08,139
Paranoia, check!
Nervousness, check!
596
00:25:10,075 --> 00:25:13,144
Suicidal tendencies.
Check.
597
00:25:21,258 --> 00:25:23,027
Hey, Jules.
What's the word?
598
00:25:23,094 --> 00:25:25,162
Well, we just found out
that Toby wired
599
00:25:25,230 --> 00:25:27,264
all of the money
from his bank account,
600
00:25:27,332 --> 00:25:28,966
about 500 grand, to a charity
601
00:25:29,034 --> 00:25:30,100
an hour before his death.
602
00:25:30,168 --> 00:25:32,102
We haven't found a note yet,
603
00:25:32,170 --> 00:25:33,904
but it's looking like suicide.
604
00:25:33,972 --> 00:25:36,373
I don't know about that.
605
00:25:36,441 --> 00:25:38,375
Don't you think it's strange
that a junior lawyer
606
00:25:38,443 --> 00:25:39,877
has that kind of
account balance?
607
00:25:39,945 --> 00:25:42,346
Not to mention the fact he was
Roy Kessler's former co-worker.
608
00:25:42,414 --> 00:25:44,248
Ooh, no, my senses are
telling me
609
00:25:44,316 --> 00:25:46,283
there is definitely more
to this.
610
00:25:46,351 --> 00:25:47,985
- Much more.
- Settle.
611
00:25:48,053 --> 00:25:49,753
Let me guess.
You think
612
00:25:49,821 --> 00:25:51,155
the Loch Ness monster did it.
613
00:25:51,223 --> 00:25:53,123
All right, what are
you two doing here?
614
00:25:53,191 --> 00:25:55,092
Came to get going
on the Toby shore case.
615
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:56,327
Why? You're not being hired
on it.
616
00:25:56,394 --> 00:25:57,194
Surely you're can't be serious.
617
00:25:57,262 --> 00:25:59,396
Shawn, I warned you.
618
00:25:59,464 --> 00:26:00,798
I can't stick my neck out
for two guys
619
00:26:00,866 --> 00:26:02,399
who are currently viewed as
the village idiots.
620
00:26:02,467 --> 00:26:07,271
Village idiots?
Who here thinks that?
621
00:26:07,339 --> 00:26:08,606
Dirty Larry!
622
00:26:11,943 --> 00:26:14,545
Jules.
Sorry.
623
00:26:14,613 --> 00:26:17,181
Look, Gus and I might be
a lot of things. Handsome...
624
00:26:17,249 --> 00:26:18,482
- Chiseled.
- Intelligent.
625
00:26:18,550 --> 00:26:19,683
- Urbane.
- Whatever that means.
626
00:26:19,751 --> 00:26:21,619
But we are not idiots!
627
00:26:25,423 --> 00:26:26,590
Oh, I'm sor...
I'm sorry, guys.
628
00:26:26,658 --> 00:26:30,261
My bad.
629
00:26:30,328 --> 00:26:31,462
That's all me.
But come on.
630
00:26:31,529 --> 00:26:32,329
Who needs a fan this big?
Seriously.
631
00:26:32,397 --> 00:26:34,465
- Leave now!
- Fine.
632
00:26:34,532 --> 00:26:37,401
- Fine. We're audi.
- All right...
633
00:26:37,469 --> 00:26:39,136
Smooth move!
634
00:26:39,204 --> 00:26:41,205
Come on, man,
give a brother some credit.
635
00:26:41,273 --> 00:26:43,607
Let's see what we got here.
636
00:26:43,675 --> 00:26:45,009
Nada.
637
00:26:45,076 --> 00:26:48,545
Recipe for Juliet's
weird cleanse.
638
00:26:48,613 --> 00:26:51,081
Preliminary coroner's report.
What does it say?
639
00:26:51,149 --> 00:26:54,752
Apparently they found
a strange object in Toby's...
640
00:26:54,819 --> 00:26:56,053
Stomach.
641
00:26:56,121 --> 00:26:57,621
Embryo.
642
00:26:57,689 --> 00:27:00,591
Come on.
643
00:27:00,659 --> 00:27:03,027
Woodrow!
644
00:27:03,094 --> 00:27:04,295
Hey, boys.
645
00:27:04,362 --> 00:27:06,463
You have got to try
these French fries.
646
00:27:06,531 --> 00:27:07,698
They're killer.
647
00:27:07,766 --> 00:27:10,234
- We ate, thanks.
- For the last time.
648
00:27:10,302 --> 00:27:12,603
We need to talk to you
about the autopsy
649
00:27:12,671 --> 00:27:14,338
you did on Toby shore.
650
00:27:14,406 --> 00:27:15,839
What about it?
651
00:27:15,907 --> 00:27:17,708
Come on, buddy,
we know you're hiding something.
652
00:27:17,776 --> 00:27:20,644
Fine.
653
00:27:20,712 --> 00:27:22,780
I stole his watch.
You did what?
654
00:27:22,847 --> 00:27:25,115
Hmm? Nothing.
Hey, how 'bout some fried clams?
655
00:27:25,183 --> 00:27:28,085
We want to know what
you found in his stomach.
656
00:27:28,153 --> 00:27:31,588
I cannot tell you that.
I will get in trouble.
657
00:27:31,656 --> 00:27:33,123
Than you'd get in
for looting corpses?
658
00:27:33,191 --> 00:27:34,525
The object was a flash drive.
659
00:27:34,592 --> 00:27:35,826
Now, when you say flash drive,
660
00:27:35,894 --> 00:27:37,594
is that coroner code
for an alien embryo
661
00:27:37,662 --> 00:27:38,829
that hatches in people's ear?
662
00:27:38,897 --> 00:27:39,730
No, that's the word "starfish.
663
00:27:39,798 --> 00:27:41,031
This was a legitimate
664
00:27:41,099 --> 00:27:42,700
four gigabyte flash drive.
665
00:27:42,767 --> 00:27:44,668
There were...
666
00:27:44,736 --> 00:27:46,136
I take notes...
667
00:27:46,204 --> 00:27:49,073
abrasions on his lungs,
which implied
668
00:27:49,140 --> 00:27:50,441
he swallowed it
moments before his death.
669
00:27:50,508 --> 00:27:51,642
Interesting.
670
00:27:51,710 --> 00:27:53,143
What about the markings
on his left arm?
671
00:27:53,211 --> 00:27:55,112
That was a birth mark.
672
00:27:55,180 --> 00:27:57,014
Ha!
Where is this flash drive now?
673
00:27:57,082 --> 00:27:58,716
I believe it's with
Detective Lassiter.
674
00:27:58,783 --> 00:28:00,818
Great. Thanks, Woody.
You stay creepy.
675
00:28:00,885 --> 00:28:02,553
You know I will.
676
00:28:10,462 --> 00:28:13,364
You know, Spencer,
the minute you refused to hire
677
00:28:13,431 --> 00:28:16,100
that smarmy, fortune-telling kid
of yours,
678
00:28:16,167 --> 00:28:19,370
you officially made it off
my crap list.
679
00:28:19,437 --> 00:28:21,438
Here. See?
680
00:28:21,506 --> 00:28:26,443
You actually have
a crap list?
681
00:28:26,511 --> 00:28:27,845
I like to keep track
of people who've wronged me
682
00:28:27,912 --> 00:28:29,146
over the years.
683
00:28:29,214 --> 00:28:31,281
You know, people like
your son, my mother...
684
00:28:31,349 --> 00:28:33,650
Olympia freakin' Dukakis!
685
00:28:33,718 --> 00:28:35,619
You disturb me.
686
00:28:35,687 --> 00:28:39,089
Do I?
687
00:28:39,157 --> 00:28:42,026
Welcome back, Henry.
688
00:28:42,093 --> 00:28:44,294
But I've gotta say
it is really nice
689
00:28:44,362 --> 00:28:46,263
to finally be able to do
some real police work
690
00:28:46,331 --> 00:28:49,166
without worrying about
your son interfering.
691
00:28:52,070 --> 00:28:53,837
What the hell?
692
00:28:58,209 --> 00:29:01,211
Can I get somebody
from I.T. Over here?
693
00:29:01,279 --> 00:29:03,981
Dobson, come help me out!
694
00:29:06,317 --> 00:29:07,818
I'm not sure
how comfortable I am
695
00:29:07,886 --> 00:29:08,986
hacking a police computer.
696
00:29:09,054 --> 00:29:10,521
Relax, it's his personal one.
697
00:29:10,588 --> 00:29:11,822
Which reminds me...
698
00:29:11,890 --> 00:29:13,323
check the Internet
search history.
699
00:29:13,391 --> 00:29:19,029
All right.
Let's see.
700
00:29:19,097 --> 00:29:19,997
"Grenadefancy.com,
701
00:29:20,065 --> 00:29:22,132
squirrelassassins.Com."
702
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,134
And...
703
00:29:24,202 --> 00:29:25,803
That's gross.
704
00:29:25,870 --> 00:29:27,337
That man needs Jesus.
705
00:29:27,405 --> 00:29:29,807
Let's see what's on
that flash drive, shall we?
706
00:29:29,874 --> 00:29:30,974
Yeah.
707
00:29:31,042 --> 00:29:34,678
[Clears throat]
708
00:29:34,746 --> 00:29:36,580
Sorry, Gus, doesn't look like
a blueprint
709
00:29:36,648 --> 00:29:37,748
for an alien fertility lab.
710
00:29:37,816 --> 00:29:39,550
Shocker!
711
00:29:39,617 --> 00:29:40,751
It's just a bunch
of legal documents
712
00:29:40,819 --> 00:29:42,319
related to budding textiles.
713
00:29:42,387 --> 00:29:44,621
That's that insane case
Kessler was working on.
714
00:29:44,689 --> 00:29:45,856
He believed
the budding chemical spill
715
00:29:45,924 --> 00:29:47,091
was done on purpose.
716
00:29:47,158 --> 00:29:48,625
[Chuckles]
That is crazy.
717
00:29:57,502 --> 00:29:58,735
I've got something.
718
00:29:58,803 --> 00:30:00,537
Both: We know.
719
00:30:00,605 --> 00:30:02,873
Damn, I've really gotta
stop doing that.
720
00:30:02,941 --> 00:30:05,909
Denny, where are you?
721
00:30:05,977 --> 00:30:07,611
Quick, we gotta get out
of here! Go, go, go, go!
722
00:30:07,679 --> 00:30:10,948
Denny? Denny?
723
00:30:11,015 --> 00:30:13,083
One minute, babe.
724
00:30:13,151 --> 00:30:15,119
- Denny?
- Aah...
725
00:30:15,186 --> 00:30:17,187
Waaaa!
726
00:30:17,255 --> 00:30:18,856
Hey, guys, what's going on
in here?
727
00:30:18,923 --> 00:30:21,191
Uh, you know, guy stuff.
728
00:30:21,259 --> 00:30:23,360
Steak.
729
00:30:23,428 --> 00:30:24,862
Denny, you can't host
a football party
730
00:30:24,929 --> 00:30:26,029
from i2oide your office.
731
00:30:26,097 --> 00:30:27,164
Come on, Taylor just got
a safety!
732
00:30:27,232 --> 00:30:31,468
Sweet!
I'll be right there, babe.
733
00:30:31,536 --> 00:30:33,737
Okay.
734
00:30:33,805 --> 00:30:36,673
Bye, Molly.
735
00:30:36,741 --> 00:30:39,076
- What's a safety?
- Really?
736
00:30:39,144 --> 00:30:40,511
Look, Dennis, why don't you
blow off this party
737
00:30:40,578 --> 00:30:41,979
and come with Gus and I?
738
00:30:42,046 --> 00:30:43,614
- Where are we going?
- Yeah, where are we going?
739
00:30:43,681 --> 00:30:46,550
I'm not entirely sure, but
I know it involves a small town
740
00:30:46,618 --> 00:30:47,651
and some potential danger.
741
00:30:47,719 --> 00:30:49,253
Oh, wow, that sounds cool.
742
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:51,722
- How much danger?
- But I can't, man.
743
00:30:51,789 --> 00:30:53,290
Molly would kill me!
744
00:30:53,358 --> 00:30:54,992
Dennis, you're never gonna
know what it feels like
745
00:30:55,059 --> 00:30:56,660
to be a normal guy
746
00:30:56,728 --> 00:30:59,363
as long as you're pretending
to be something that you're not.
747
00:30:59,430 --> 00:31:00,697
Trust me, he knows.
748
00:31:00,765 --> 00:31:02,699
Come on.
749
00:31:02,767 --> 00:31:04,067
It's time for you
to get out there
750
00:31:04,135 --> 00:31:05,169
and experience
some real-life,
751
00:31:05,236 --> 00:31:07,304
non-virtual adventure.
752
00:31:07,372 --> 00:31:10,474
He's right. It's time to
come out of the nerd closet.
753
00:31:16,047 --> 00:31:17,681
I'm sorry, guys, I just can't.
754
00:31:17,749 --> 00:31:20,150
I really like having sex
with my wife.
755
00:31:22,787 --> 00:31:24,188
Don't say it.
756
00:31:24,255 --> 00:31:26,924
What's wrong with you, man?
757
00:31:36,401 --> 00:31:37,634
Now is the point
where you tell me
758
00:31:37,702 --> 00:31:39,002
what the hell we're doing here.
759
00:31:39,070 --> 00:31:40,637
Guess who's now
the proud owner of this home...
760
00:31:40,705 --> 00:31:42,940
Along with the 700 similar ones
761
00:31:43,007 --> 00:31:44,141
that make up this tiny town.
762
00:31:44,209 --> 00:31:45,475
Shawn, if you say "us,"
763
00:31:45,543 --> 00:31:46,543
I'm gonna punch you
in the face.
764
00:31:46,611 --> 00:31:48,245
Budding textiles.
765
00:31:48,313 --> 00:31:49,913
It's the last one
they purchased.
766
00:31:49,981 --> 00:31:51,515
Why would budding want
a bunch of crappy houses
767
00:31:51,583 --> 00:31:52,549
on poisoned land?
768
00:31:52,617 --> 00:31:53,951
Here's a better question...
769
00:31:54,018 --> 00:31:55,919
what is the world's
coolest truck doing here?
770
00:31:55,987 --> 00:31:57,321
It looks like a decepticon.
771
00:31:57,388 --> 00:32:00,023
It's not a decepticon, Gus.
It was made in Fresno.
772
00:32:00,091 --> 00:32:00,991
Whatever it is,
I highly suggest
773
00:32:01,059 --> 00:32:03,493
we do not touch it.
774
00:32:03,561 --> 00:32:06,263
[Truck engine starts]
775
00:32:06,331 --> 00:32:09,333
Shawn!
776
00:32:11,135 --> 00:32:12,970
Gus, the keys were already
in the ignition.
777
00:32:13,037 --> 00:32:14,871
What was I supposed to do?
Not start it.
778
00:32:14,939 --> 00:32:16,506
- It's not that easy.
- Actually, it is.
779
00:32:16,574 --> 00:32:19,376
All right, you know,
when Toby said
780
00:32:19,444 --> 00:32:20,844
that Roy Kessler was
telling the truth,
781
00:32:20,912 --> 00:32:22,179
he didn't mean an abduction.
782
00:32:22,247 --> 00:32:24,248
He meant the lawsuit
against budding.
783
00:32:24,315 --> 00:32:26,049
That makes no sense, Shawn.
784
00:32:26,117 --> 00:32:27,851
Why would they intentionally
spill chemicals?
785
00:32:30,922 --> 00:32:33,457
- To get people to leave.
- What?
786
00:32:33,524 --> 00:32:34,958
In all the ridiculous
science classes
787
00:32:35,026 --> 00:32:36,193
you've taken over the years,
788
00:32:36,261 --> 00:32:37,961
did you ever learn about
hydrocarbons?
789
00:32:38,029 --> 00:32:39,396
Of course I did.
790
00:32:39,464 --> 00:32:41,265
The organic compounds
found mainly in crude oil.
791
00:32:41,332 --> 00:32:42,933
If there's a high percentage
of them in the soil,
792
00:32:43,001 --> 00:32:44,434
does that mean that
there's oil underneath?
793
00:32:44,502 --> 00:32:46,803
Not necessarily. You'd have
to check using a machine
794
00:32:46,871 --> 00:32:48,839
that sends sonic vibrations
into the earth...
795
00:32:48,906 --> 00:32:53,043
[Loud rumbling and banging]
796
00:32:53,111 --> 00:32:54,811
I think we're in
one of those machines!
797
00:32:54,879 --> 00:32:56,380
Why must you always
touch stuff, Shawn?
798
00:33:08,726 --> 00:33:10,060
It stopped shaking, Shawn.
799
00:33:10,128 --> 00:33:13,664
Oh.
800
00:33:16,267 --> 00:33:19,269
Gus, I feel like a bobblehead.
801
00:33:19,337 --> 00:33:20,704
- You look like an idiot.
- Come on, try it.
802
00:33:20,772 --> 00:33:21,872
- I'm not doing that.
- Get in on the bit.
803
00:33:21,939 --> 00:33:23,140
- I don't want to.
- It's fun!
804
00:33:23,207 --> 00:33:25,175
- Fine.
- Dude, you look ridiculous.
805
00:33:25,243 --> 00:33:26,777
But think about it.
It all makes sense.
806
00:33:26,844 --> 00:33:28,078
Budding figured out that
this town is sitting
807
00:33:28,146 --> 00:33:29,112
on a gold mine.
808
00:33:29,180 --> 00:33:30,514
So what does he do?
809
00:33:30,581 --> 00:33:32,883
He orchestrates a chemical spill
to drive everyone away.
810
00:33:32,950 --> 00:33:34,818
That way he wouldn't have to
share any of the profits.
811
00:33:34,886 --> 00:33:37,120
Exactly. Which, I imagine,
dwarfs the cost of lawsuits
812
00:33:37,188 --> 00:33:38,855
and land purchases.
813
00:33:38,923 --> 00:33:39,923
And Kessler was onto
all of this.
814
00:33:39,991 --> 00:33:42,292
- Which sort of freaks me out.
- Why?
815
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:44,261
Because it makes me wonder
what else
816
00:33:44,329 --> 00:33:47,431
he was telling the truth about.
817
00:33:47,498 --> 00:33:51,268
[Loud whirring]
818
00:33:51,336 --> 00:33:54,771
Aah! Aaaaaah!
819
00:33:57,784 --> 00:33:59,785
Aah! Aa...
820
00:34:04,091 --> 00:34:06,026
I don't want to
get probed, Gus!
821
00:34:06,494 --> 00:34:07,628
What are you worried about?
822
00:34:07,695 --> 00:34:08,729
You're the one
who's less exotic!
823
00:34:08,796 --> 00:34:10,931
Wha...
824
00:34:10,999 --> 00:34:14,334
[both grunting]
825
00:34:14,402 --> 00:34:16,670
Aah! Aah!
826
00:34:29,181 --> 00:34:32,586
Get in here!
827
00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:36,790
Aah! Aah! Oh...Oh...
828
00:34:36,858 --> 00:34:39,960
Oh...Aah!
829
00:34:50,137 --> 00:34:52,639
Well, boys...
Start talking.
830
00:34:52,707 --> 00:34:53,907
About what, exactly?
831
00:34:53,974 --> 00:34:55,141
How 'bout a story?
832
00:34:55,209 --> 00:34:56,976
Would you like to hear a story?
Please.
833
00:34:57,044 --> 00:34:58,678
I always enjoy a good one.
All right.
834
00:34:58,746 --> 00:35:01,748
Once upon a time there was
this greedy ceo.
835
00:35:01,816 --> 00:35:03,983
Think, what, Stephen Lang?
"Esque."
836
00:35:04,051 --> 00:35:05,618
Anyway, he wanted to kill
this lawyer,
837
00:35:05,686 --> 00:35:06,753
because the lawyer was
on the verge
838
00:35:06,821 --> 00:35:09,122
of ruining his evil
master plan.
839
00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:10,957
But he couldn't,
because the lawyer had prepared
840
00:35:11,025 --> 00:35:12,092
a legitimate case against him.
841
00:35:12,159 --> 00:35:14,527
Hot start.
Please continue.
842
00:35:14,595 --> 00:35:16,196
He figured out that if he could
843
00:35:16,263 --> 00:35:17,731
make the lawyer look wacko,
844
00:35:17,798 --> 00:35:20,066
the case would be dismissed as
some nutty conspiracy theory.
845
00:35:20,134 --> 00:35:21,067
But how?
846
00:35:21,135 --> 00:35:22,635
And ten years ago,
847
00:35:22,703 --> 00:35:26,039
Kessler claimed to have seen,
you got it, a ufo!
848
00:35:26,107 --> 00:35:27,640
Light bulb.
849
00:35:27,708 --> 00:35:30,443
He would convince the lawyer
he'd witnessed an abduction.
850
00:35:30,511 --> 00:35:32,345
See, he already had
this fancy copter,
851
00:35:32,413 --> 00:35:34,681
so all he had to do was
add some extra lighting,
852
00:35:34,749 --> 00:35:36,549
pump some Enya b-sides
through the sound system,
853
00:35:36,617 --> 00:35:38,885
and then figure out
how to trip the electricity.
854
00:35:38,953 --> 00:35:40,920
He most likely used
an EMP device.
855
00:35:40,988 --> 00:35:42,655
What is that, a pregnancy test?
856
00:35:42,723 --> 00:35:44,557
- No.
- Doesn't make any sense, Gus.
857
00:35:44,625 --> 00:35:45,925
Would you just let me
tell the story?
858
00:35:45,993 --> 00:35:47,727
EMT, not EPT.
It produces an electrical pulse.
859
00:35:47,795 --> 00:35:50,296
Okay, you know what,
there's a fine line
860
00:35:50,364 --> 00:35:51,498
between being knowledgeable
and arrogant.
861
00:35:51,565 --> 00:35:52,866
Enough!
862
00:35:52,933 --> 00:35:54,601
I'm on the edge
of my seat here.
863
00:35:54,668 --> 00:35:57,370
Right. Well,
it all worked like a charm,
864
00:35:57,438 --> 00:35:58,638
with one exception.
865
00:35:58,706 --> 00:36:02,509
See, the young lawyer
that he paid 500 gs to
866
00:36:02,576 --> 00:36:04,444
to set up this guy,
had a change of heart
867
00:36:04,512 --> 00:36:06,980
once he came across
the dismissed-case file.
868
00:36:07,047 --> 00:36:10,450
But it was still
just a minor mishap for our ceo
869
00:36:10,518 --> 00:36:13,453
because he is a problem solver.
870
00:36:22,663 --> 00:36:23,730
[Thud]
871
00:36:23,798 --> 00:36:26,299
- I like his style.
- Yeah.
872
00:36:26,367 --> 00:36:29,235
And he was in the clear
until he came across
873
00:36:29,303 --> 00:36:31,838
two young go-getters,
874
00:36:31,906 --> 00:36:32,939
and they were onto everything.
875
00:36:36,911 --> 00:36:39,813
Who he then proceeded to let go
876
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:42,248
because they promised
not to tell a soul.
877
00:36:42,316 --> 00:36:43,383
Swore. They swore.
878
00:36:43,450 --> 00:36:44,784
Because that's stronger
than a promise.
879
00:36:44,852 --> 00:36:45,985
[Scoffs]
880
00:36:46,053 --> 00:36:47,420
[Laughs]
881
00:36:47,488 --> 00:36:51,224
- That's not gonna happen.
- It's not?
882
00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:54,694
And to think I only
picked you up for trespassing.
883
00:36:54,762 --> 00:36:58,031
- Whoops.
- Take 'em out back.
884
00:36:58,098 --> 00:36:59,833
[Whispering]
Don't worry, I texted my dad.
885
00:36:59,900 --> 00:37:01,000
The cops will be here
any minute.
886
00:37:01,068 --> 00:37:03,636
No...No!
[knock on door]
887
00:37:05,940 --> 00:37:08,441
[Knock on door] Who is it?
888
00:37:08,509 --> 00:37:10,076
Messenger service
889
00:37:10,144 --> 00:37:13,179
hey. I have a delivery
for you to sign.
890
00:37:13,247 --> 00:37:15,181
- Dennis?
- What's he doing here?
891
00:37:15,249 --> 00:37:16,115
- I don't know.
- Let's see some I.D.
892
00:37:16,183 --> 00:37:18,151
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
893
00:37:21,488 --> 00:37:22,889
- Hyah!
- Whoa!
894
00:37:22,957 --> 00:37:24,958
[A la Bruce lee] Oh...
895
00:37:25,025 --> 00:37:28,394
Ooooh!
896
00:37:28,462 --> 00:37:29,462
Holy...
897
00:37:34,268 --> 00:37:36,769
and he spent the rest
of his miserable life in jail.
898
00:37:36,837 --> 00:37:38,438
The end.
899
00:37:38,505 --> 00:37:40,006
My lip!
900
00:37:40,074 --> 00:37:41,541
Dude, how'd you find us?
901
00:37:41,609 --> 00:37:43,810
I cloned Shawn's
cell phone earlier.
902
00:37:43,878 --> 00:37:46,512
I think I did some real damage
to my pre-molars.
903
00:37:46,580 --> 00:37:47,547
It's okay, Dennis.
904
00:37:47,615 --> 00:37:49,482
You looked like a badass
905
00:37:49,550 --> 00:37:50,383
until you clocked yourself
in the face.
906
00:37:50,451 --> 00:37:51,818
You needed this, man!
907
00:37:51,886 --> 00:37:54,787
- Ooh...
- Hands in the air!
908
00:37:57,691 --> 00:38:00,393
You, hands in the air!
Put those down!
909
00:38:00,461 --> 00:38:01,995
Put 'em down!
910
00:38:02,062 --> 00:38:03,396
No, Lassie, don't do it!
911
00:38:03,464 --> 00:38:04,597
No, wait! Not him!
912
00:38:04,665 --> 00:38:11,271
[Electricity crackling]
913
00:38:11,338 --> 00:38:13,439
He didn't need that.
914
00:38:22,034 --> 00:38:23,567
- Yeah, I see it now.
- Right?
915
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:25,836
I look like I just finished
a set at lilith fair.
916
00:38:25,904 --> 00:38:28,005
Mm.
917
00:38:28,073 --> 00:38:29,840
Hey, Lassie...
918
00:38:29,908 --> 00:38:33,711
All right. All right,
let me have it.
919
00:38:33,779 --> 00:38:35,246
No, I have better things
to do with my time
920
00:38:35,314 --> 00:38:37,615
than gloat about being a hero.
921
00:38:37,683 --> 00:38:38,949
And the fact that you
unnecessarily caused
922
00:38:39,017 --> 00:38:40,017
one of our friends
to whiz himself.
923
00:38:40,085 --> 00:38:41,285
- Mm-hmm.
924
00:38:41,353 --> 00:38:42,286
I'm actually here
for some police advice.
925
00:38:42,354 --> 00:38:43,921
Really?
926
00:38:43,989 --> 00:38:47,692
No, it's boogie time.
927
00:38:47,759 --> 00:38:51,262
Oh...Is there ever
a high road between you guys?
928
00:38:51,330 --> 00:38:52,263
Shawn, Gus!
929
00:38:52,331 --> 00:38:54,532
Jerks.
930
00:38:54,599 --> 00:38:56,067
Well, well, well,
931
00:38:56,134 --> 00:38:59,870
if it isn't "ignore
your son's urgent text" man.
932
00:38:59,938 --> 00:39:01,038
It's a good thing
you told Juliet,
933
00:39:01,106 --> 00:39:02,540
and that she took it seriously.
934
00:39:02,607 --> 00:39:03,941
Well, I thought you guys were
still goofing around.
935
00:39:04,009 --> 00:39:05,743
Your credibility hasn't been
too high of late.
936
00:39:05,811 --> 00:39:07,211
That's no excuse.
937
00:39:07,279 --> 00:39:11,182
You can make it up to us
by approving these expenses.
938
00:39:11,249 --> 00:39:14,685
What? $7,000 in dental work
for Dennis Gogolack?
939
00:39:14,753 --> 00:39:16,087
And a new pair of underpants.
940
00:39:16,154 --> 00:39:17,555
22 packs of razzles?
941
00:39:17,622 --> 00:39:19,990
Season tickets
to the Los Angeles sparks
942
00:39:20,058 --> 00:39:21,425
of the WNBA?
943
00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:22,860
Are you guys serious
about this stuff?
944
00:39:22,928 --> 00:39:25,029
- As a Rebecca Lobo set shot.
- Glass!
945
00:39:25,097 --> 00:39:27,031
All right, look,
I'll think about it.
946
00:39:27,099 --> 00:39:29,467
In the meantime, chief vick
wants you take a look
947
00:39:29,534 --> 00:39:31,335
at this counterfeit thing.
948
00:39:31,403 --> 00:39:33,270
Both: Oh, look at that!
949
00:39:33,338 --> 00:39:34,572
Now you want us.
950
00:39:34,639 --> 00:39:35,840
Well, guess what.
It's gonna cost you.
951
00:39:35,907 --> 00:39:37,541
How much?
952
00:39:37,609 --> 00:39:39,076
- Two grand.
- 1,500.
953
00:39:39,144 --> 00:39:41,712
Sorry, heroes don't work
for less than two large.
954
00:39:41,780 --> 00:39:43,814
Fine.
955
00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:45,216
Sweet.
956
00:39:45,283 --> 00:39:46,517
Now can we see you
make it official?
957
00:39:46,585 --> 00:39:47,752
Yeah, just put it
right in the old, uh,
958
00:39:47,819 --> 00:39:50,187
bibbity-bobbity.
- Mm-hmm.
959
00:39:50,255 --> 00:39:53,657
What? Thanks, dad.
We'll start tomorrow.
960
00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:54,959
Tomorrow?
Why not right now?
961
00:39:55,026 --> 00:39:57,294
Because we've got to visit
some friends.
962
00:40:11,877 --> 00:40:14,745
Oh, my God, Shawn,
you look like Billie Jean king.
963
00:40:17,983 --> 00:40:20,418
- Detonate the pillar of Attu!
- I know how to play!
964
00:40:20,485 --> 00:40:22,720
Guys, I've gotta say,
I can't thank you enough
965
00:40:22,788 --> 00:40:24,221
for clearing my good name.
966
00:40:24,289 --> 00:40:25,790
I don't know how
I'll ever repay you.
967
00:40:25,857 --> 00:40:28,626
We do have a coroner buddy
who's in some pretty hot water
968
00:40:28,693 --> 00:40:29,927
over a stolen watch.
969
00:40:29,995 --> 00:40:31,896
- Consider him represented.
- Thanks, Roy.
970
00:40:31,963 --> 00:40:33,297
I must say,
this whole experience
971
00:40:33,365 --> 00:40:35,466
has taught me
a really important lesson
972
00:40:35,534 --> 00:40:37,535
when it comes to some
of the crazy stuff
973
00:40:37,602 --> 00:40:38,836
that I often see.
974
00:40:38,904 --> 00:40:40,671
That there's an explanation
for everything?
975
00:40:40,739 --> 00:40:43,674
No, it's that the eyes
never lie.
976
00:40:43,742 --> 00:40:45,176
Did I tell you guys
I once saw bigfoot?
977
00:40:45,243 --> 00:40:48,379
What?
978
00:40:48,447 --> 00:40:49,346
Oh, you think I'm nuts,
don't you?
979
00:40:49,414 --> 00:40:50,414
Male or female?
980
00:40:50,482 --> 00:40:52,583
- Was he driving a school bus?
- No...
981
00:40:57,022 --> 00:41:00,357
babe...Hey.
982
00:41:00,425 --> 00:41:03,327
Where am I standing right now?
983
00:41:03,395 --> 00:41:06,163
Denny...
What's going on?
984
00:41:06,231 --> 00:41:09,333
You know,
it's dudes being dudes.
985
00:41:09,401 --> 00:41:10,768
Cigars.
986
00:41:19,578 --> 00:41:22,446
So listen...
987
00:41:22,514 --> 00:41:25,216
There's something
I need to tell you.
988
00:41:25,283 --> 00:41:29,887
I'm not actually a jock.
989
00:41:29,955 --> 00:41:32,490
I'm a giant nerd.
990
00:41:34,759 --> 00:41:36,961
I don't know what to say.
Are you angry?
991
00:41:37,028 --> 00:41:38,796
No, I'm pissed.
992
00:41:40,966 --> 00:41:45,102
Do you know that I've seen
every single episode
993
00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:47,271
of the original
Battlestar Galactica,
994
00:41:47,339 --> 00:41:49,740
like, 50 times?
995
00:41:49,808 --> 00:41:50,941
I never told you 'cause
I thought
996
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:52,243
you'd look down on that stuff.
997
00:41:52,310 --> 00:41:54,144
You've gotta be kidding.
998
00:41:54,212 --> 00:41:56,313
No. What do you think
I was watching
999
00:41:56,381 --> 00:41:57,348
while you went away
on that business conference
1000
00:41:57,415 --> 00:41:58,716
last weekend?
1001
00:41:58,783 --> 00:42:00,851
I wasn't at a business conf...
1002
00:42:00,919 --> 00:42:02,152
I was at comicon!
1003
00:42:02,220 --> 00:42:04,989
No way.
I wanted to go to that!
1004
00:42:05,056 --> 00:42:07,791
- I love you.
- Aw...
1005
00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:09,393
I love you.
1006
00:42:11,830 --> 00:42:14,899
She just got even hotter.
What?
1007
00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:25,900
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net