1
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:06,316
HENRY: Shawn...
SHAWN: Maybe, don't...
2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,501
HENRY: Stop calling me that.
3
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,543
SHAWN: You have
to take it easy, Father.
4
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,554
Shawn, would you let me
go? Build up your strength.
5
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,103
Do you know how
annoying you are?
6
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,843
Calling me "father" like it's
some black and white movie?
7
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,611
But I'm just trying
to help you, Father.
8
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:18,684
Henry, let him help you.
9
00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:21,084
I don't need any
help walking. I'm fine.
10
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,020
Both of you. Just... I'm fine.
11
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:25,116
When was the last time
you cleaned this thing out?
12
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,752
Look, Mom. You didn't have to
fly all the way here just for this.
13
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,293
Is this a corn dog?
14
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:32,059
I don't know. But there's one
way to find out. Take a bite.
15
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:33,191
I'm not biting into this.
16
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,844
Just get a little baby
bite... No. I don't want any.
17
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,734
It's disgusting. Now, I
only made a few meals.
18
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,135
I'm only here a couple of days,
19
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,445
somebody's got to check on him.
20
00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:41,099
I get it. You want
me to swing by,
21
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:43,905
make sure he has
fresh water, you know...
22
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:45,240
Change his colostomy bag.
23
00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:46,836
He doesn't have a colostomy bag.
24
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,314
(WHISPERS) Are you sure about
that? Because I think he might.
25
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,009
Goose, do you
realize he almost died?
26
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,813
I'm sorry, Mom, I just...
27
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,933
I can't take you seriously
while you're holding that thing.
28
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:58,535
I know you may find
this hard to believe,
29
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,559
but some day you're going
to want these times back.
30
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,806
Maybe this is your chance to
get to know him in a different way.
31
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:06,664
Mmm, I don't know if I need to get
to know him in any additional ways.
32
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:10,033
I mean, the one way seems
solid. It seems sufficient.
33
00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:14,040
(WHISPERS) I am not
making any promises.
34
00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,440
But I will take your
words under advisement.
35
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:22,072
Insert plank J into peg H.
36
00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:26,176
There is no peg H. Peg H doesn't
exist. I am going to kill somebody.
37
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,919
You just don't know how to
take a Swedish practical joke.
38
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:30,581
You can go home, Shawn. I can't.
39
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,158
I have to tell you why I'm
here. There's a reason. It's this.
40
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:36,390
Jules, I just had
a major epiphany.
41
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:37,689
Mmm.
42
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,566
You know my lease is almost up.
43
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,501
I... Yes. I
44
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,697
may have been vaguely
aware of that fact. (CHUCKLES)
45
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,899
Right. Well, I'm thinking...
46
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,909
"Shawn, it's time to
move forward in your life."
47
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,070
As a man... Yeah.
48
00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:54,808
You know? It's... It's not
just about me anymore.
49
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:58,943
I think that is a very
mature thought, Mr. Spencer.
50
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:00,663
So you know what
I'm going to do?
51
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,246
What are you going to do?
52
00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:04,621
I am going to move in
53
00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:06,959
with my dad.
54
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,024
Mmm.
55
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:12,122
(CLEARS THROAT) Shawn.
56
00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:13,223
I know, right?
57
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,768
How many more times is my father
58
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,168
going to be recovering from a
gunshot wound in my lifetime?
59
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:20,101
Maybe once, maybe,
if I'm lucky. (LAUGHS)
60
00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:23,641
What? You're cool, right?
61
00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:26,723
Don't lie to me, because I can
always tell when you're lying.
62
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:29,216
Oh! I am so cool, Shawn.
63
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,318
Oh, good! (SNICKERS) Whew! Yeah.
64
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:32,929
For a second you
had me worried there.
65
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,012
Mmm.
66
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,194
(CAMERA LENS CLICKING)
67
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,025
Uh, what are you doing?
68
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,463
Look, it's not
what it looks like.
69
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:49,866
I'm just taking
additional photos
70
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:52,735
for my SoulMateConnect.com
online dating profile.
71
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,202
Whew. (LAUGHS)
72
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:56,874
I thought there was something
truly embarrassing going on in here.
73
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,245
Look, I need to
be in love, Shawn.
74
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:02,725
Everyone I've gone after over the last year
has either been a killer or dating a killer.
75
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,809
Oh, well, by all means,
let's scour the Internet.
76
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:08,546
A place where everyone knows
it's just decent, normal, sane people
77
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:09,748
looking for true love.
78
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,620
You think you know
so much, Shawn?
79
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:12,725
Take a look at this.
80
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,593
Boom. She's perfect.
81
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,564
She's like an Indian
Princess who bakes pies.
82
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:19,793
And I have a date with her.
83
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,835
(IN SING-SONG) So suck it!
84
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:24,502
Buddy, you know I'm
in your corner, right?
85
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,097
But everyone lies
on these things.
86
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,339
Of course she
looks all pretty online!
87
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:30,887
And you show up
at the restaurant.
88
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:32,607
Guess who's waving
at you from the bar,
89
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,148
the New Delhi version of
Colonel Sanders with a wig.
90
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:37,274
What are you doing here
on a Sunday anyway, Shawn?
91
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,594
I was supposed to have privacy.
92
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:40,086
I need to borrow your suitcase.
93
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,985
What's wrong with yours?
And where you going?
94
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,853
Yours has wheels
and the zipper works.
95
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,391
And I'm moving in with my dad.
96
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:48,017
You're doing what now?
Does Juliet know about this?
97
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,256
Yeah, I told her last night.
98
00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,524
And you're still alive?
99
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,597
Gus, my dad was shot. Mmm-hmm.
100
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,695
Okay? He's going to need help
doing normal everyday activities.
101
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:56,860
Right.
102
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,435
SHAWN: Juliet understands that.
103
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:02,004
She knows that someday,
eventually, we will move in together.
104
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,968
You don't know her like I do.
105
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:06,176
She's not a reactive
person. She's cool.
106
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:07,446
Juliet is cool?
107
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,243
Yeah, she's cool
like that. (SNICKERS)
108
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,853
But it looks like Helene is
back on the market, like that.
109
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,213
Helene?
110
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,016
What...
111
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:27,759
I know, you know That
I'm not telling the truth
112
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:31,066
I know, you know They
just don't have any proof
113
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:34,006
Embrace the deception
Learn how to bend
114
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:37,937
Your worst inhibitions tend
to psych you out in the end
115
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:39,838
I know, you know
116
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,713
Okay. Um, well, I guess
I became fascinated
117
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,381
with sea horses
when I was about eight
118
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,652
but then I became very
serious about them in my 20s.
119
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,118
Uh, little known fact.
120
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:54,570
You know, they don't
actually wear saddles,
121
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:55,653
like they do in cartoons.
122
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,357
(BOTH LAUGHING)
123
00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,275
MAN: Can I show
you some of them?
124
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,631
Sure. Yeah? Okay.
125
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:01,895
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
126
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:07,672
MAN: This is a photo of me
with my long snouted seahorse.
127
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,265
His name is Herschel.
128
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,035
Oh, great name.
Thanks. (CHUCKLES)
129
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,222
(CLEARS THROAT) He's sort
of, like, the grandpa of the group.
130
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:16,080
He's got a very fragile
lower G.I. system.
131
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,527
You have to be
very careful, actually.
132
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,529
'Cause they're not omnivores,
which some people think...
133
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:20,953
Uh, I did. Herbivores but...
134
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,353
(LAUGHS) Wow. Oh, sir?
135
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:23,982
Sir! Sir! Sir, excuse
me, what the hell?
136
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,653
Oh, gee. I'm sorry.
Hello, Helene.
137
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,302
Do you have something
to say for yourself?
138
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,223
Who is this guy?
SHAWN: Who am I?
139
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,626
Who are you?
140
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:37,067
I'm the boyfriend. So stop staring
creepily into her green eyes, Jack!
141
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,214
Uh, actually, my name is Mike.
142
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,297
My eyes are blue.
143
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:40,650
How do you know?
You can't see them.
144
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:44,441
Mike, this is my ex-boyfriend.
145
00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:47,104
Ex? Oh that's how
we're going to play this?
146
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,681
Oh, come on! He's
not even good-looking!
147
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,445
I mean, he's... He's okay.
148
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:54,920
You know what, it's
not great. I'm sorry.
149
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,999
SHAWN: (ON RADIO) It's
not. You know, I'm not sorry.
150
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,234
Do you have something
to say for yourself?
151
00:05:58,258 --> 00:05:59,282
Wow, uh...
152
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,419
You have got to
effin' be kidding me!
153
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:04,225
McNab! Get out there and
do something about this!
154
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,391
I wish I could, sir, but
I'm in the weeds right now!
155
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,899
You get...
156
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,869
Get Spencer out of there before
he blows this whole damn thing!
157
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,566
Go!
158
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,072
Leave the spaghetti!
159
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,875
I'm sorry, Mike.
160
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:18,754
Look, my ex-boyfriend,
he's a little unbalanced...
161
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:19,837
Unbalanced?
162
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,848
And very immature. He
just moved back home.
163
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,292
All right, we're going
to play dirty ball, huh?
164
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:24,794
We're going to play
old school nasty ball?
165
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,498
Well, good luck finding
more garlic sticks!
166
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:27,780
What? What?
167
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:29,822
McNab?
168
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:32,468
What are you doing
here? This is my table.
169
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:33,721
This is your...
170
00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:40,559
(STUTTERS)
171
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:48,134
Hmm. You know what? I've
had some time to think about this.
172
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,938
And, uh, I'm way
out of line here.
173
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,974
I'd like to apologize.
174
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:55,739
You are both lovely.
You are especially lovely.
175
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,218
Thank you. Dessert's
going to be on me.
176
00:06:58,685 --> 00:06:59,965
I'm going to go
hit my side work.
177
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:01,411
Marry some ketchups.
178
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:04,754
We have a chocolate flourless cake
like every other restaurant on the planet.
179
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,816
But ours really is amazing.
180
00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,371
It really is and it's
coming your way.
181
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,939
You don't work here,
McNab. Not yet, but...
182
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,262
Lassie, I need a flourless
chocolate cake on the fly.
183
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:14,798
Good going, Spencer. You may
have just blown O'Hara's cover
184
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,028
and six weeks' worth of work!
185
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,529
So no cake?
186
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:18,930
KAREN: Okay, listen up.
187
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,099
In the past three months
188
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,370
two women in their
late 20s were killed.
189
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,412
Both of these women
were strangled.
190
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:28,676
Their bodies both found
in a dense wooded area.
191
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:31,912
However, we were unable
to find any other evidence
192
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:34,317
which connected these two women.
193
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:35,888
Until we found this.
194
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,217
(SHAWN WHISTLES)
195
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:44,027
Both of these women had
profiles on the dating site
196
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,963
SoulMateConnection.com.
197
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:52,037
Now, in addition, they dated a
cross-section of these six men in common.
198
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:55,098
So we believe that one of
these men is the possible killer.
199
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,838
So, we sent Detective
O'Hara undercover
200
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,039
to help draw these men out.
201
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,240
Bottom line, great news, people.
202
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,082
Allow me to clarify, Chief.
203
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,211
(CLEARS THROAT)
What I mean to say,
204
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,381
is simply that thank goodness
205
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:13,052
it turns out it might just be a
maniacal serial killer on the prowl,
206
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,594
and not that Detective
O'Hara was truly out there
207
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:16,823
dating strange men.
208
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,296
Shawn, I have
another date tomorrow.
209
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,664
Are you insane? Have you
completely lost your mind?
210
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,734
What, are you kidding?
211
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:24,281
You went on a television dating
show and made it to the finale.
212
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:27,102
Because I am a man, and I
do what needs to get done.
213
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,073
Okay, enough, the two of you.
214
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,235
And don't get me wrong,
215
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,712
it's not that Detective O'Hara
hasn't done a bang up job,
216
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,045
Jezebelling herself out
to half of Santa Barbara.
217
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,742
But it would appear to me,
218
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:40,218
that you are dealing primarily
with circumstantial evidence.
219
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:41,998
So, Chief, you are going
to need me to come in here
220
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,149
and read these men.
221
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,316
Or assault them.
222
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:47,657
Pulling needles out of
haystacks is Shawn's specialty.
223
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:49,688
So...
224
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:52,174
You can work together on this.
225
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,198
(SIGHS)
226
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:57,437
Hey! Dude, where have you been?
227
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:00,201
I need you. There's major stuff
going down on the Jules front.
228
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,798
You just abandon
me in the field now?
229
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,409
That's your new thing?
230
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,604
What? Shawn, this is Rachael.
231
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,308
Hi. Rachael, this is Shawn.
232
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:13,782
Ah, yes. You're the girl from
Internet with the picture and the thing.
233
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,411
She knows who I am.
234
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:16,950
Is this is a friend of yours?
235
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,922
Friend? Best friends
from childbirth.
236
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,485
Actually from before
we were both born.
237
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,326
We took our first
poops together. What?
238
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,229
Mine was adorable.
His was way too formed.
239
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,177
See, I knew there was something
you were holding out on me
240
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,533
from that baby album.
241
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:31,127
(BOTH LAUGHING) Wait a minute.
242
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,314
He showed you his baby album?
243
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:33,931
He's kidding, about the poop.
244
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,566
He kids. Usually
inappropriately.
245
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,753
What, as inappropriate as you
last night telling that waitress
246
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,355
she looked like a young
Eleanor Roosevelt?
247
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:40,904
(BOTH LAUGHING)
248
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:42,572
She's so funny.
249
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:45,679
Well, it was loads
of fun for everyone.
250
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:49,688
But, uh, Gus and I have to tend
to some serious matters now.
251
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,136
Rachael, so, if
you don't mind...
252
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,819
I mean, I don't know if you
walked or drove or what,
253
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:56,988
but it's a lovely jaunt
down the beach path back
254
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,495
to wherever it was
you came from.
255
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,329
Did you have a jacket?
256
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,425
Shawn.
257
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,232
Uh, I think the
date is still going.
258
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,597
Oh, I get it. You guys
need to say your goodbyes.
259
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:10,439
Okay. First date,
last date. I'll wait.
260
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,221
I think the first date
was last night, Shawn.
261
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,510
Technically, this
is the second, no?
262
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,014
Technically, you would be right.
263
00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:19,644
So, technically, this
wouldn't be inappropriate.
264
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:23,714
Ooh!
265
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,590
Wait a minute,
you guys didn't...
266
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:28,827
What?
267
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,662
What are you doing?
268
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:36,100
I used the do-it symbol.
269
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,480
Don't worry. She doesn't
know what it means.
270
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:38,870
I know what the
do-it symbol means.
271
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,702
I just haven't seen
it since I was 12.
272
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,332
The question is, what is...
273
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:45,401
(CHUCKLES) What is this
gesture supposed to be?
274
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,191
What are you telling me, man,
that you're seriously into this chick?
275
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:50,581
She is amazing, Shawn.
276
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,585
She is amazing and beautiful!
277
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,130
SHAWN: You don't know
anything about this girl.
278
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,919
I know she went to
Oxford, is a nutritionist
279
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,425
and she has a voice like the
angels from the British heavens.
280
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,669
The Brits don't get
their own heaven.
281
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,838
She is different, Shawn.
She's not like any of the others.
282
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,039
Really? Because
that doesn't seem fair.
283
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:05,122
Shawn.
284
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,827
(WHISPERS) I think
she could be the one.
285
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:11,231
Well, I don't think
she's the one for us!
286
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:12,766
Really?
287
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,167
Ugh! Ow!
288
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:16,940
(GROANING)
289
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:21,672
Gus, don't be the
"B" from apartment 23!
290
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:25,048
You're better than that.
We're all better than that!
291
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:26,776
At least I think we are.
292
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,023
(MOUTHING)
293
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,423
Is there anything I
can do for you, Pop?
294
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,400
You want to help, go
clean out the garage.
295
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:44,635
How about you let me
borrow the truck instead?
296
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,949
And where are you going,
what time you going to be back?
297
00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:48,066
It's a date with Jules.
298
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,940
Oh, that's so sweet! Henry,
let him borrow the truck.
299
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:52,403
Where are you taking her?
300
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,170
Oh, it's actually not my date.
301
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:57,740
I have to go to a date that
Juliet is having with another dude.
302
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,677
It's a long story,
guys. It's complicated.
303
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:02,364
But don't worry. There's
no touching above the knees
304
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,823
and absolutely none of this.
305
00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:06,917
What?
306
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,120
Is that opening a can?
307
00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:10,993
(LAUGHS) Mom!
Everybody knows what that is.
308
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,296
I want it back by midnight.
309
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,562
What am I, Cinderella?
310
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:17,695
You want to make it 11:30?
311
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,462
No.
312
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:26,522
Oh, hey, Mom, what time's your flight
tomorrow? I'll take you to the airport.
313
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:28,276
Oh, actually, those
bags are going upstairs.
314
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,326
Your mother's going to
stick around for a little while.
315
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,081
Just for a while, make sure
you're okay. (CHUCKLES)
316
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:34,984
I told her that I'll be fine.
317
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,789
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're moving in?
318
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:39,423
Oh, my God.
319
00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:42,987
I'm living with my parents.
320
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,392
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
321
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,984
CARLTON: All right, the movie should
be out. We're back up and running.
322
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,136
All right, this is work time.
323
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:01,038
MAN: (ON RADIO) I can't
believe you got that out of me.
324
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,242
I normally don't tell people
I'm a Mensa member.
325
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,060
Then they won't play
me in Words With Friends.
326
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,076
Oh, I am so not
intimidated by that.
327
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:08,831
I bet I could give you
a run for your money.
328
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,266
There's a lot of heat
coming off these two.
329
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,987
No, Jules is a much better
actress than I give her credit for.
330
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:14,979
Pretending to be into
this Lordan joker, come on.
331
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,862
Please, you're the only one in
this van who isn't into this guy.
332
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:19,588
Oh, ha-ha!
333
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:22,945
JULIET: Oh, come on. You know
that girls are better spellers than guys.
334
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:26,337
Really? Because I have won
every spelling bee I've ever been in.
335
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,704
Oh, so you're a nerd!
336
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,266
LORDAN: Spell
xylophone now. X...
337
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,571
Wow...
338
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,490
So this is how you're
going to play my boy?
339
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,039
Is that Guster?
340
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,481
You didn't tell
Guster about this?
341
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,061
He's going to ruin
the whole operation!
342
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:43,147
Uh, I don't even know
what you're talking about.
343
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,867
(WHISPERS) I don't
know who this is, really.
344
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:45,950
Okay. Yeah.
345
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:49,484
Oh. Okay. I see how this is.
346
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:53,330
Girl, that is cold. And if I wasn't
on a date myself right now,
347
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,391
we would be having words.
348
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:56,828
Know that.
349
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,398
(SLURPING)
350
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,105
That's my boy right there, son.
351
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:03,138
Let me ask you something. Who...
352
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,240
Who came up with these
panic code words for Jules, huh?
353
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:07,780
"I feel hot?"
354
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:09,340
What would you prefer?
355
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:12,895
Oh, I don't know. How about something
semi-conversational, like, "You have a butt chin"?
356
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:17,013
Well, here we are. The
end of the date goodbye.
357
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,282
Hmm.
358
00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:20,851
Now, I know that
this is a bit strange,
359
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:22,861
but I have a surprise for you.
360
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:23,919
Oh? Okay.
361
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:26,137
Now, I need you to turn around.
362
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:28,867
Oh, no. Come on, come on.
363
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:30,813
Just play along. Just
play along. Surprise.
364
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,271
What's he talking about?
365
00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:33,465
She needs us, let's bounce.
366
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,940
No, no, no. Hold up. She
knows what she's doing.
367
00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:38,068
We go out too soon we
blow our cover. (SIGHS)
368
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:41,670
Come on, come on, just play
along. That's right, there you go.
369
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,047
You know what, I don't
think this... Uh-uh-uh.
370
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,109
You're going to
ruin the surprise.
371
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:50,119
Okay. Now close your eyes.
372
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,728
You know what? I feel hot.
373
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:00,961
Very hot.
374
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:06,898
Get out of the
way! Out of the way!
375
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,806
(SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY)
376
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,972
WOMAN: Come on, move! Easy!
377
00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:12,372
MAN: Whoa!
378
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,546
Ugh! Get off!
379
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:22,645
Hey!
380
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,322
A necklace! (SCOFFS)
381
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:26,869
You said on your profile
that you liked turtles.
382
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:27,952
(CHUCKLES)
383
00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:30,788
It looks just like the ones I saw
on my trip to the Galapagos Islands.
384
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,689
Wow, that is, uh...
385
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:34,562
I know. I know. Just unexpected.
386
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,967
So you said you
were feeling hot?
387
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:38,602
Oh. Yeah, I, uh...
388
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:43,805
Uh, I am feeling cold.
I am feeling really cold.
389
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,755
What are you doing? Get
your meat hooks off of me.
390
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,624
What, do you want to blow her
cover? Put your arms around me.
391
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,048
Come on, sell it!
392
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,051
Rub my back at a medium pace.
393
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,685
You're an idiot. Make it tender!
394
00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:58,116
I'm being tender.
395
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:01,492
Wait, this just in.
396
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:03,161
(GRUNTS)
397
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:04,822
Love is in the air, huh?
398
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:08,095
Huh, yeah! Something...
Something's in the air.
399
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:11,528
I'll beat you within an inch
of your life when this is over.
400
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,032
How was the date?
401
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:17,474
Well, uh, Juliet's guy turned
out to not be a serial killer,
402
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:19,478
so that was a buzz kill.
403
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,776
But I did get a little
action off Lassiter.
404
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,282
You know, over the
clothes, middle school stuff.
405
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:25,613
Come sit.
406
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:27,680
Guys... (CHUCKLES)
407
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,115
I think we need to talk.
408
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:31,688
This is not a normal situation.
409
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,225
You see that.
410
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:36,558
(STUTTERS) I don't see how all
of us living together is going to work.
411
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,222
You're divorced.
412
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,022
I'm in my 30s.
413
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:41,933
It's weird.
414
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:43,827
You guys can see that...
415
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:47,505
Is that The Boy Who Could Fly?
416
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,806
Ow. (SIGHS)
417
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,911
Nobody understood him but Milly.
418
00:16:55,715 --> 00:17:01,712
And then he just flew away
into the clouds, you know?
419
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:05,216
Sometimes, I feel
like that little boy.
420
00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:07,424
I did some of your laundry
today. It's on your bed.
421
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,071
Mom, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.
422
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:10,172
I don't need you
to do my laundry.
423
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:13,108
But I couldn't remember if you liked your
socks folded or rolled them into balls.
424
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:14,691
I like my socks
in balls! I did balls.
425
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,736
Well, that's fortuitous.
426
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,732
(SIGHS)
427
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,171
Fly, Eric.
428
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,101
Fly.
429
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:26,874
KAREN: Uh, O'Hara.
430
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,848
Spencer, this is
Mr. Fielding Mellish.
431
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:32,408
He is a technical rep from
SoulMateConnection.com
432
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,613
who is going to help
us track our profiles
433
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,451
and the correspondence
of our suspects, hmm?
434
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:38,991
Hi, Mr. Mellish. I'm
Detective O'Hara.
435
00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:41,750
And you may not recognize
me, but I'm also Helene,
436
00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:43,762
the undercover decoy
working the case.
437
00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:44,956
I think I'm caught up.
438
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:48,601
Sweet. I'm Shawn Spencer. I'll
be playing myself the whole time.
439
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:52,035
Uh. Now that Lordan
is less probable,
440
00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:54,972
our next likely of the
six original suspects
441
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:58,011
goes on the site with the
name of Mr. Possibilities.
442
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,375
Can you pull him up, please?
443
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,815
JULIET: Mr. Possibilities,
try Mr. Perfect.
444
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,578
Wow, he looks like a male model.
445
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,381
I was a hand model.
446
00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:08,612
You want to buy this pen?
447
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:09,821
No?
448
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:11,715
Now, you do.
449
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,517
Oh, he's also an art
dealer, a ski-instructor
450
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,620
and he runs his own
nonprofit children's charity?
451
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,890
And, um, this guy's single?
452
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:21,491
Wow, I really missed
out on this online thing.
453
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:26,869
And I am going to let
you go back to work.
454
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:30,199
Okay! (SNICKERS) Thank you.
455
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:35,304
So, you wrote to this guy four
times under your cover profile.
456
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:37,815
Yes! And I cannot
get a date with him!
457
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:39,852
Easy there, Debbie
Does Santa Barbara.
458
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:44,048
Listen, if you ask me, I think your
profile needs some sprucing up.
459
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,523
Sprucing up?
460
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,091
Well, yeah. You seem
sort of middle of the road.
461
00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:53,130
(LAUGHS) I mean, who lists The Mentalist
as one of their favorite TV shows?
462
00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:54,531
You need to get more spicy.
463
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,112
Why would you do that? Why
would you make fun of The Mentalist?
464
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,513
I don't really have
any... I'm serious.
465
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:01,632
Why would you possibly
take a shot at that show?
466
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,039
I've never actually seen it.
467
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,202
Okay.
468
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,606
Well, I'll check it out.
469
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:10,482
You have to tailor-make your
profile to attract this Mr. Possibilities.
470
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,642
What will it take?
471
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:14,678
I think we're looking at a
complete overhaul here.
472
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:17,724
I mean, we're not trying to
attract a 30-something-year-old guy
473
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:18,867
who lives with his
parents. (LAUGHS)
474
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:19,984
(LAUGHS)
475
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,995
(LAUGHING) That is so true!
476
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,356
Pathetic.
477
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,308
RACHAEL: Well, I have
to say this is the first time
478
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,358
I've ever been
fingerprinted on a date.
479
00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:30,595
Ma'am, just keep cooperating
480
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,981
or I'll have to take you back
into the interrogation room.
481
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,005
(BOTH LAUGHING)
482
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,405
Gus! What are you doing?
483
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:36,885
I'm in the middle of a date!
484
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,969
How can this possibly
still be going on?
485
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:40,602
He's booking me.
486
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,644
Some of us are in there
doing real detective work.
487
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:47,380
There, in the conference room, while
you two are acting like children out here.
488
00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:50,681
What?
489
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,951
This is my lunch, which was
packed for me by my mother.
490
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,691
It is clearly labeled Goose.
And now it cannot be stolen.
491
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,322
Which happens!
492
00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:00,764
Even here, at a police station.
493
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,365
All right, Shawn.
494
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,407
What do you think? Wow.
495
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:09,835
You...
496
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:13,709
look like you're late for a
Whitesnake video shoot.
497
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:16,943
Shawn, relax. I don't actually
want to date any of these guys.
498
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,540
I'm trying to solve a murder.
499
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,853
LORDAN: Helene? Lordan!
500
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,248
Come on, this guy?
501
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:26,321
He's a lame chop!
Slathered in fail sauce.
502
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:27,917
Hey, did you get
the flowers I sent?
503
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:33,427
Yes. Yes, um, I did. They
were gorgeous, thank you.
504
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:35,398
This guy has been
eliminated as a suspect.
505
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:37,045
Therefore, there is
no need for flirtation.
506
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,047
Eliminated? Shawn, just because
he didn't kill me at the time,
507
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,403
doesn't mean he doesn't want to.
508
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,451
You're right. Okay, we do
this together. I'm your wingman.
509
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:45,035
Shawn, I don't need
a wingman. Lay back.
510
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:46,743
Who's this? A friend.
511
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:49,941
Friend? Really? That's me?
(STUTTERS) I'm at friend status?
512
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:52,007
Yes, what else would
you be, Shawn? (SIGHS)
513
00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:54,096
What is that? Is that a
suit for a school picture?
514
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,520
(LAUGHS) No.
515
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,899
Every time I close a big
deal, I buy myself a suit.
516
00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,084
Hmm.
517
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,093
I'm in the commercial
real estate business.
518
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,184
I build skyscrapers.
519
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:03,828
What business are you in?
520
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,055
I'm a psychic, Jack.
521
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:06,223
And I build...
522
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,158
Swedish furniture.
523
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:09,463
And he lives with his parents.
524
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,967
They're old and frail, and
I have to care for them.
525
00:21:12,037 --> 00:21:13,665
And one of them
has a colostomy bag.
526
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:14,898
(SIGHS) Oh.
527
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,551
MADELEINE: Hey,
goose! Come try these on.
528
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:18,476
I want to see how
they fit in your seat.
529
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:19,811
(SNICKERS)
530
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,012
Look, I really appreciate
the ride over here
531
00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:25,108
but I am in the middle
of an investigation.
532
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,762
Well, at least hold this
up to your shoulders
533
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,379
so I can see about
the sleeve length.
534
00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:31,013
Mom, did you hear what I
just said? I'm investigating a...
535
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,064
Oh, look at that. That is nice.
536
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,217
Do you want to go
out again sometime?
537
00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:36,852
No. Um...
538
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,065
Look, Lordan, you are...
(INHALES SHARPLY)
539
00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:41,766
Wonderful.
540
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:43,700
But I'm not your girl.
541
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:46,733
That's actually my ex, and...
542
00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:49,107
We're trying to
get back together.
543
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:50,643
Really? That guy?
544
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:51,800
That's his mom.
545
00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:54,045
He's a lucky guy.
546
00:21:55,447 --> 00:21:56,540
Good luck, Helene.
547
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,173
Thank you. (SNICKERS)
548
00:22:00,419 --> 00:22:04,447
You know, you're going to make a
really handsome baby-daddy. (LAUGHS)
549
00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:05,616
Yeah.
550
00:22:05,691 --> 00:22:07,853
So, bye, you know...
551
00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:09,862
Whoa! Yep, that's there.
552
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:11,022
(LAUGHS)
553
00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:12,564
For now. See you.
554
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,193
What the hell is all of that?
555
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:17,067
I know what this is about.
It's not about this dude.
556
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:19,731
This is about you
competing with those girls
557
00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:21,899
that Mr. Possibilities
did go out with.
558
00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:23,465
Well, what is it?
559
00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:26,239
Am I not as attractive?
Is that what it is?
560
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:28,213
I don't know, Jules.
Those girls are dead.
561
00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:31,250
You are competing with
girls who were murdered.
562
00:22:31,550 --> 00:22:34,816
So that's it. (STUTTERS)
So, I'm not as attractive.
563
00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:37,187
Wow, it kind of makes
me hate those girls.
564
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,722
The dead girls.
565
00:22:38,791 --> 00:22:39,884
The murdered girls.
566
00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:42,103
Yeah, you're right, it's kind of
inappropriate and disrespectful
567
00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:43,390
that I said that.
568
00:22:43,462 --> 00:22:47,024
Actually, it's great
that you just said that.
569
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:49,130
Hang with me,
Mellish. I know you can.
570
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:52,365
We have been concentrating this whole
time on the men these women are dating,
571
00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:54,339
but what if, what if
572
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:56,399
it's one of the other women?
573
00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:57,909
One who's jealous?
574
00:22:57,977 --> 00:23:01,709
Women? When they smell your
pheromones, their claws come out.
575
00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:03,279
I've seen it firsthand.
576
00:23:03,349 --> 00:23:06,649
I bet you have. You strike
me as a real swordsman.
577
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:08,252
I was a fencer in high school.
578
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:09,464
That's not what
I'm talking about.
579
00:23:09,488 --> 00:23:13,391
But seriously, what if one of these women
is literally killing off her competition?
580
00:23:13,459 --> 00:23:17,954
I'm doing a search right now of all
correspondences with Mr. Possibilities.
581
00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:20,429
There were several
women who wrote to him,
582
00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:24,664
but one woman wrote to him multiple,
multiple times with no response.
583
00:23:24,770 --> 00:23:28,400
(SNICKERS) Wow, this chick really
went off the charts to get this guy.
584
00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:30,375
(LAUGHS) Kind of creepy.
585
00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:32,639
Even for creepy
online dating people.
586
00:23:32,711 --> 00:23:33,838
Bingo! Who is she?
587
00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:41,610
Uh-oh.
588
00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:46,722
See, it's all about
the follow through.
589
00:23:46,792 --> 00:23:47,987
You done this move before?
590
00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:49,289
First time, actually.
591
00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:50,385
Is it working?
592
00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:51,740
Well, let's see if
I make this shot.
593
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:52,788
Mmm.
594
00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:54,128
SHAWN: Fore!
595
00:23:54,967 --> 00:23:55,991
Ah!
596
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:57,896
Sorry about that.
597
00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:02,131
The mouth on that evil clown
head is so much wider than I thought.
598
00:24:02,207 --> 00:24:03,470
Shawn, what are you doing here?
599
00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:05,374
Don't worry, Gus.
I come in peace.
600
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:08,039
I'm here to apologize.
Not to you, to Rachael.
601
00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:10,372
Clearly, you and I got
off on the wrong foot,
602
00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:12,810
or whatever you guys
call it across the pond.
603
00:24:12,851 --> 00:24:13,910
We call it a foot.
604
00:24:13,986 --> 00:24:15,830
Well, it was my fault
and I'd like to start over.
605
00:24:15,854 --> 00:24:17,482
Well, that's big
of you, me, too.
606
00:24:17,556 --> 00:24:20,355
Rachael, you seem like a very
sweet girl with a lot of love to give.
607
00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:23,073
Thank you, Shawn. That's
very generous of you to say.
608
00:24:23,162 --> 00:24:24,892
Unfortunately, you
are also a serial killer.
609
00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:26,865
That's right, Gus,
a killer of women.
610
00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:28,399
At least two, with blond hair.
611
00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:31,263
No, no, no. You will
not do this again, Shawn!
612
00:24:31,370 --> 00:24:33,381
You will not take this
beautiful budding relationship
613
00:24:33,405 --> 00:24:35,050
and destroy it by
accusing the girl of murder!
614
00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:36,508
Not again! Not this time.
615
00:24:36,575 --> 00:24:37,652
What... This has
happened before?
616
00:24:37,676 --> 00:24:38,700
Once or twice, yes.
617
00:24:38,777 --> 00:24:40,075
Look, Gus. I didn't pick her.
618
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,323
I can't help it if
she likes to kill.
619
00:24:41,347 --> 00:24:43,291
Shawn, while you are
accusing my girlfriend of murder,
620
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:44,874
there is a real
serial killer out there
621
00:24:44,950 --> 00:24:46,270
maybe getting
ready to kill again!
622
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:47,998
Wait, did you just
call me your girlfriend?
623
00:24:48,354 --> 00:24:49,982
I'm sorry. No, no. Don't be.
624
00:24:50,522 --> 00:24:54,425
You wanted a date with
Mr. Possibilities, remember him?
625
00:24:54,727 --> 00:24:57,607
You should. You wrote to him over
eight times in a period of three weeks.
626
00:24:57,696 --> 00:24:59,358
Each time, he rejected you.
627
00:24:59,465 --> 00:25:01,661
You got jealous and you
went after those two women
628
00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:04,033
who were able to capture
his attention for revenge.
629
00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:07,073
Because if you couldn't have
him, then no one could. Am I right?
630
00:25:07,139 --> 00:25:09,301
Wait, you wrote to some
white dude, like, eight times?
631
00:25:09,375 --> 00:25:11,435
You're a psychic? And
you make money off of this?
632
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:14,022
It's very simple, Rachael. Just
prove to me that you have an alibi
633
00:25:14,046 --> 00:25:16,413
for the night of the first
murder, April 11th at 9 p.m.
634
00:25:16,582 --> 00:25:17,641
And you stay out of it.
635
00:25:17,950 --> 00:25:20,146
Do not be the Tom Selleck
to her Paulina Porizkova.
636
00:25:20,219 --> 00:25:21,296
What are you talking about?
637
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:22,811
From Her Alibi, 1989.
638
00:25:22,888 --> 00:25:24,618
Rotten Tomatometer, 15%.
639
00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:26,621
Audience meter, 38%.
640
00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:28,591
If anything, Gus would
be my James Farentino.
641
00:25:28,660 --> 00:25:30,638
Who is that? Some other white
dude you tried to get a date with?
642
00:25:30,662 --> 00:25:31,857
This
643
00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:35,626
is me receiving an award for a
school nutritional program I initiated.
644
00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:36,828
Look at the time stamp.
645
00:25:36,902 --> 00:25:38,700
7:30 p.m.? So, what?
646
00:25:38,771 --> 00:25:41,331
We're to believe that you
gave a speech about nutrition
647
00:25:41,407 --> 00:25:42,705
that lasted an hour and a half?
648
00:25:42,775 --> 00:25:45,286
You could have been anywhere
you wanted in this city in 20 minutes.
649
00:25:45,310 --> 00:25:47,506
I wasn't in Santa
Barbara. I was in New York.
650
00:25:47,579 --> 00:25:50,208
This is me in front of
the Statue of Liberty.
651
00:25:50,282 --> 00:25:52,717
Okay, look. Obviously
I'm going to have to, uh,
652
00:25:52,785 --> 00:25:55,220
verify all this information
down at the station,
653
00:25:55,287 --> 00:25:58,519
but for now it would appear
that you're okay to keep putting.
654
00:25:59,158 --> 00:26:00,353
Just don't try to skip town.
655
00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:02,079
You should be
ashamed of yourself.
656
00:26:02,127 --> 00:26:03,527
Well, I am.
657
00:26:04,363 --> 00:26:06,041
If it's all right with
you, I'm just going to...
658
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:08,296
I'm just going to play through.
659
00:26:14,139 --> 00:26:15,198
SHAWN: Hey, Jules.
660
00:26:15,274 --> 00:26:17,634
Hey, I just accused Gus'
girlfriend of being a serial killer
661
00:26:17,676 --> 00:26:19,236
and now I'm playing
mini-golf by myself.
662
00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:22,406
And I just feel like I may
be going down a bad path.
663
00:26:22,481 --> 00:26:24,416
So let's make this a
date night, shall we?
664
00:26:24,483 --> 00:26:28,614
Ooh, Shawn, I can't because
I got a date with Mr. Perfect!
665
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,154
Yes, I guess the
new profile worked.
666
00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:32,247
You sound genuinely
excited about this?
667
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:33,424
I am...
668
00:26:34,860 --> 00:26:36,385
As a detective.
669
00:26:36,528 --> 00:26:38,861
For the break, Shawn.
670
00:26:39,531 --> 00:26:42,990
(STUTTERS) But, uh, look I really
need you in my ear for surveillance.
671
00:26:43,068 --> 00:26:44,366
I cannot do this without you.
672
00:26:46,405 --> 00:26:48,416
Shawn, I need you to find
a way to be okay with this.
673
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,085
Do you have any idea
what I'm going through?
674
00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:51,702
My girlfriend has
a new boyfriend.
675
00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:53,370
My best friend has a girlfriend.
676
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,346
My mom bought me shorts.
677
00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:57,906
Look, I just... I need
somebody to talk to here.
678
00:26:57,983 --> 00:27:00,452
Shawn, I would and
I'm really, really sorry.
679
00:27:00,519 --> 00:27:02,430
But we are just so busy right
now. Yeah, can you go back?
680
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:03,513
I get it.
681
00:27:04,923 --> 00:27:05,947
SHAWN: Mom? Dad?
682
00:27:06,892 --> 00:27:08,690
Think I could use a quick chat.
683
00:27:09,595 --> 00:27:10,654
Mom?
684
00:27:12,431 --> 00:27:13,831
Look, Dad...
685
00:27:14,099 --> 00:27:15,533
(GRUNTING) (GASPING)
686
00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:19,533
(VOICES DISTORTING)
687
00:27:20,005 --> 00:27:21,029
No!
688
00:27:22,608 --> 00:27:23,769
(GAGS)
689
00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:27,045
(DISTORTED) Goose!
690
00:27:29,047 --> 00:27:30,379
Fly, Eric!
691
00:27:32,117 --> 00:27:33,380
Fly high,
692
00:27:33,785 --> 00:27:35,083
high into the clouds.
693
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:37,398
I want you to feel like
you can ask me anything.
694
00:27:37,422 --> 00:27:39,152
There are no silly,
stupid questions.
695
00:27:39,391 --> 00:27:41,883
Please stop making
sounds with your mouth.
696
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,519
It all happened
very organically.
697
00:27:43,595 --> 00:27:45,427
I'm still trying to
process it myself.
698
00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:48,558
I think maybe it grew
out of our history or...
699
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:52,498
Maybe even my new
outlook on life post being shot.
700
00:27:53,071 --> 00:27:54,164
Plus,
701
00:27:55,908 --> 00:27:58,537
your mother is a
very attractive woman,
702
00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:01,305
and I'm a man, with needs.
703
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,676
(GRUNTS)
704
00:28:06,118 --> 00:28:07,381
Dad? Yeah?
705
00:28:08,287 --> 00:28:09,287
When I was a kid...
706
00:28:09,788 --> 00:28:11,654
That's good, that's
good. Keep going.
707
00:28:11,990 --> 00:28:14,289
I had a recurring nightmare that
708
00:28:14,893 --> 00:28:17,692
aliens came down
and abducted me.
709
00:28:18,430 --> 00:28:20,922
And they did
experiments on my brain.
710
00:28:21,567 --> 00:28:23,468
Where are those aliens now?
711
00:28:23,569 --> 00:28:26,129
Shawn, look...
Please, take me away!
712
00:28:27,072 --> 00:28:28,938
HENRY: I don't know
anything about aliens.
713
00:28:29,007 --> 00:28:32,910
But I do know that lovemaking
can be a very beautiful thing.
714
00:28:33,078 --> 00:28:36,173
And it's a product of
a loving relationship.
715
00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:39,583
Holy crap!
716
00:28:40,419 --> 00:28:43,218
Dad, look at this guy.
717
00:28:43,956 --> 00:28:46,676
Whoa, whoa, Shawn. I don't think
I'm ready to have this conversation.
718
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:49,251
No, no. Dad, look!
It's the same guy!
719
00:28:50,229 --> 00:28:51,891
It's the same man!
720
00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:56,744
Look, these pictures were
taken straight from the catalog
721
00:28:56,768 --> 00:28:58,760
and then Photoshopped
with different backgrounds.
722
00:28:58,837 --> 00:29:00,597
Like this one. With,
uh, him in the ski gear.
723
00:29:00,639 --> 00:29:02,403
Look, it was shot
in the studio, right?
724
00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:03,635
Now look at this.
725
00:29:03,709 --> 00:29:07,510
On the profile, it's in front of a
ski lift, like he's actually skiing.
726
00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:10,447
Shawn, how long have you
been obsessed with this man?
727
00:29:10,549 --> 00:29:12,177
Dad, I got to go.
728
00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:14,777
This talk of ours will have to
wait until well after we're dead.
729
00:29:14,853 --> 00:29:17,265
And even then, the dead version of
me is not going to have any questions
730
00:29:17,289 --> 00:29:19,884
for the dead version of
you, 'cause it wasn't organic.
731
00:29:19,958 --> 00:29:22,518
And you don't know
anything about lovemaking.
732
00:29:23,662 --> 00:29:24,973
Thanks for joining
the case, buddy.
733
00:29:24,997 --> 00:29:26,431
Not a problem.
734
00:29:26,498 --> 00:29:28,009
And I'm sorry I accused
your new girlfriend
735
00:29:28,033 --> 00:29:29,677
of trying to pull a
Bride of Chuckie thing.
736
00:29:29,701 --> 00:29:32,034
It's cool. I know what it's
like to be lonely and single.
737
00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:33,436
Well, I'm not single, Gus!
738
00:29:33,739 --> 00:29:35,019
And that was you
as of yesterday.
739
00:29:35,407 --> 00:29:37,933
All right, Shawn, you don't seem
to be in a healthy head space.
740
00:29:38,010 --> 00:29:39,342
I'm sorry.
741
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:43,237
Maybe it's because I walked in on
my divorced parents having sex, Gus.
742
00:29:43,315 --> 00:29:46,251
And then my dad sat me down and
told me that my body was a wonderland.
743
00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:48,162
Shawn, are you sure you
saw what you think you saw?
744
00:29:48,186 --> 00:29:50,018
Yes, I'm positive.
745
00:29:50,088 --> 00:29:51,681
(SOBBING)
746
00:29:53,058 --> 00:29:54,617
What about you? What?
747
00:29:54,693 --> 00:29:55,937
Did you ever walk
in on your parents?
748
00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:57,623
My parents never had sex, Shawn.
749
00:29:57,696 --> 00:29:59,426
Of course they
did. Didn't happen.
750
00:29:59,498 --> 00:30:02,696
Look. You're looking at one of
God's perfect little miracles right now.
751
00:30:02,768 --> 00:30:04,396
Oh, yeah? Well, what about Joy?
752
00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:06,028
I'm still not sure
she isn't adopted.
753
00:30:06,104 --> 00:30:07,482
Where is she, by
the way? I don't know.
754
00:30:07,506 --> 00:30:09,217
Man, why are we sitting in
front of some dude's house?
755
00:30:09,241 --> 00:30:12,109
'Cause he's not just some
dude, Gus. He's Mr. Possibilities.
756
00:30:12,177 --> 00:30:14,612
And Mr. Possibilities
isn't who he says he is.
757
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:16,672
His real name is Ken Dowling.
758
00:30:16,748 --> 00:30:18,478
Fabricated an entire profile
759
00:30:18,550 --> 00:30:21,782
to try and create the perfect
single man living in Santa Barbara.
760
00:30:21,853 --> 00:30:22,946
Why would he do that?
761
00:30:23,021 --> 00:30:24,956
Because he's already married.
762
00:30:25,023 --> 00:30:26,116
What?
763
00:30:26,191 --> 00:30:28,092
And Lassie confirmed
that he has a record.
764
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,629
And he's the only one
left of the original six.
765
00:30:30,696 --> 00:30:31,857
Uh-uh.
766
00:30:31,963 --> 00:30:33,522
Man, I would never
cheat on Rachael.
767
00:30:33,598 --> 00:30:36,261
I can't imagine not having
her in my life right now.
768
00:30:36,335 --> 00:30:39,635
Really? Just think back to
yesterday at about 6 p.m.
769
00:30:39,971 --> 00:30:41,200
Come on.
770
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:43,299
We have a marriage to destroy.
771
00:30:43,709 --> 00:30:44,972
My husband is having an affair?
772
00:30:45,444 --> 00:30:47,140
If only it were that
simple, Miranda.
773
00:30:47,212 --> 00:30:48,523
All right. He's gone
down for his nap.
774
00:30:48,547 --> 00:30:50,846
What's going on?
Who are these guys?
775
00:30:50,916 --> 00:30:52,475
Shawn Spencer,
psychic detective.
776
00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:54,348
This is my partner,
Immaculate Conception.
777
00:30:54,486 --> 00:30:56,114
We are both not married.
778
00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:57,332
Although, he has
a new girlfriend,
779
00:30:57,356 --> 00:30:59,356
and my girlfriend is
currently seeing other people,
780
00:30:59,424 --> 00:31:01,424
but strictly for professional
reasons. She's a pro.
781
00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:03,554
You have a profile
on a dating website?
782
00:31:03,662 --> 00:31:05,187
Go ahead, Ken. Tell her.
783
00:31:05,263 --> 00:31:07,630
You used online dating
to re-live your single days.
784
00:31:07,933 --> 00:31:11,802
Tell her how you created this Mr. Possibilities
profile and started living a double life.
785
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:12,894
Ken?
786
00:31:12,971 --> 00:31:15,411
Only thing you didn't count on
were those two poor blond girls
787
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,800
figuring you out and threatening
to expose you to your wife.
788
00:31:17,843 --> 00:31:19,038
Isn't that right, Gus?
789
00:31:19,111 --> 00:31:21,351
I'm really hearing most of
this for the first time, so...
790
00:31:21,413 --> 00:31:23,939
You had no choice but to get
rid of them, the old-fashioned way.
791
00:31:24,015 --> 00:31:25,039
(RAZZING)
792
00:31:26,485 --> 00:31:29,250
(CHOKING)
793
00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:33,453
Goose!
794
00:31:34,593 --> 00:31:35,822
Who is Goose?
795
00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:40,298
What? I don't know! I mean, I would
never use those pictures to get dates!
796
00:31:40,665 --> 00:31:42,156
How could you do this to us?
797
00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:43,634
Yes, Ken. How could you?
798
00:31:43,702 --> 00:31:45,637
Look at that pug's
face! Look at it!
799
00:31:45,771 --> 00:31:47,797
Shame on you. Shame on you!
800
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,474
I can sense it.
Your infidelity...
801
00:31:50,542 --> 00:31:54,741
Your extracurricular activities,
possibly office-related.
802
00:31:54,813 --> 00:31:55,813
I'm not sure.
803
00:31:55,881 --> 00:31:56,940
Ken?
804
00:31:57,015 --> 00:31:59,849
I went out with my secretary
for lunch once. Once.
805
00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,079
Did you order dessert?
806
00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:02,177
Did you order desert?
807
00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:05,418
Yeah. Maybe, I don't know. What...
(LAUGHS) What does this matter?
808
00:32:05,490 --> 00:32:06,768
I'll tell you what
I'm going to do, Ken.
809
00:32:06,792 --> 00:32:09,489
I'm going to call a car to
come here and arrest you.
810
00:32:09,694 --> 00:32:13,358
McNab, hey. I need one
paddy wagon, one patty melt,
811
00:32:13,665 --> 00:32:16,567
some yellow crime scene
tape and, uh, two cinnamon rolls,
812
00:32:16,635 --> 00:32:18,365
delivered to the
following address.
813
00:32:18,437 --> 00:32:20,406
Jules? So this thing is off?
814
00:32:21,039 --> 00:32:23,065
I got good news
and I got better news.
815
00:32:23,141 --> 00:32:25,686
The good news is you don't have
to go on a date with Mr. Perfect,
816
00:32:25,710 --> 00:32:27,679
because Mr. Perfect is married.
817
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:28,803
Married?
818
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,858
Don't sound so disappointed.
That was the good news.
819
00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:31,975
I'm sorry, O'Hara.
820
00:32:32,050 --> 00:32:34,042
Why is everybody so sorry?
821
00:32:34,219 --> 00:32:37,485
Look, I busted this guy by figuring
out that he murdered those women
822
00:32:37,556 --> 00:32:39,491
when they discovered his scam.
823
00:32:39,558 --> 00:32:40,992
Did he look as
good as his pictures?
824
00:32:41,827 --> 00:32:43,625
Honey, please!
825
00:32:44,729 --> 00:32:46,095
Yeah, I guess so.
826
00:32:46,765 --> 00:32:47,789
Hello?
827
00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:49,093
It's a tough break, O'Hara.
828
00:32:49,167 --> 00:32:51,727
But tell you what, I'll go
snatch this guy up and book him.
829
00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:54,315
Why don't you go home, watch a
couple of episodes of Sex and The City
830
00:32:54,339 --> 00:32:55,579
and shake this whole thing off?
831
00:32:56,041 --> 00:32:58,567
Uh. What is she
shaking off, exactly?
832
00:32:59,511 --> 00:33:00,672
Hello?
833
00:33:02,147 --> 00:33:04,116
(TUTS) (CELL PHONE RINGS)
834
00:33:06,384 --> 00:33:09,218
Hello, my dear. You know what I
think might make you feel better
835
00:33:09,287 --> 00:33:12,553
is if you go home tonight,
change into your Helene outfit,
836
00:33:12,624 --> 00:33:14,559
do a little dance to Pour
Some Sugar On Me.
837
00:33:14,626 --> 00:33:15,685
It isn't Jules,
838
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:19,094
but I'd be willing to wear what I'm wearing
right now and drop it like it's hot.
839
00:33:19,197 --> 00:33:20,495
Mellish?
840
00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:23,544
I know you told me to call you if there
was any activity on Mr. Perfect's account.
841
00:33:23,568 --> 00:33:24,745
Well, that is no
longer necessary,
842
00:33:24,769 --> 00:33:30,606
because Mr. Possibilities, a.k.a.
Mr. Perfect has been arrested. He's done.
843
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,435
Well, then I don't know
how you explain this.
844
00:33:32,611 --> 00:33:36,048
Mr. Possibilities just sent
an e-mail 10 minutes ago.
845
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:39,610
Well, unless he
used his teeth or, uh,
846
00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:42,449
or hit the little keys with
his nose while handcuffed,
847
00:33:42,521 --> 00:33:43,887
that's not possible.
848
00:33:43,955 --> 00:33:47,517
Unless the guy you have in
cuffs is not Mr. Possibilities.
849
00:33:50,729 --> 00:33:51,822
Hmph.
850
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:59,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-
851
00:34:03,808 --> 00:34:04,901
Mike?
852
00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:07,437
Hello, Helene.
853
00:34:10,615 --> 00:34:13,551
You weren't expecting
to see me here, Helene?
854
00:34:14,319 --> 00:34:15,839
Are you waiting on
a date or something?
855
00:34:15,921 --> 00:34:19,050
No. Uh, you know,
to be honest, I sort of,
856
00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:22,156
gave up on that whole dating
thing. It's just too much drama.
857
00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:24,628
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Me, too. Me, too.
858
00:34:24,829 --> 00:34:28,527
Uh, so you're not here expecting
to see a Mr. Possibilities?
859
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:32,567
Who? No. (STUTTERS) No,
I don't even know who that is.
860
00:34:32,671 --> 00:34:33,671
Oh.
861
00:34:34,472 --> 00:34:36,907
Helene. (CHUCKLES)
862
00:34:38,710 --> 00:34:39,939
(CLICKS TONGUE)
863
00:34:40,011 --> 00:34:41,843
What? Who is he?
864
00:34:42,013 --> 00:34:45,450
Well, he's nobody.
Yeah, he doesn't exist.
865
00:34:46,518 --> 00:34:47,713
I'm sorry, did you think...
866
00:34:48,787 --> 00:34:53,191
Yeah, the really bad news
for you is that I created him,
867
00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:55,891
to prove a point.
868
00:34:59,397 --> 00:35:01,332
Lassie, we got to
go! Jules is in trouble.
869
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:02,510
What are you talking about?
870
00:35:02,534 --> 00:35:05,026
I'll explain on the
way. Gus, come on.
871
00:35:05,470 --> 00:35:06,904
Such a beautiful day, isn't it?
872
00:35:08,807 --> 00:35:10,207
Let's go look at some ducks.
873
00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:12,676
Come on, nice and easy.
874
00:35:14,045 --> 00:35:15,274
Nice and easy.
875
00:35:16,348 --> 00:35:17,714
It'll be just like a date.
876
00:35:17,782 --> 00:35:18,909
To prove a point to who?
877
00:35:18,984 --> 00:35:20,384
Oh! To all of you women!
878
00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:22,785
Because you lie.
Watch your step.
879
00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:25,487
You say you want the nice guy,
880
00:35:25,557 --> 00:35:27,458
you say you want the good guy,
881
00:35:27,525 --> 00:35:30,188
(LAUGHS) but then,
you're all so shallow
882
00:35:30,261 --> 00:35:32,059
and I just proved it.
883
00:35:33,164 --> 00:35:35,429
(SIGHS) I hate this.
884
00:35:36,401 --> 00:35:37,926
This is just...
885
00:35:38,236 --> 00:35:42,367
This is just a terrible, horrible
thing you're making me do, Helene.
886
00:35:43,742 --> 00:35:45,506
Mike, no one is
making you do anything.
887
00:35:45,577 --> 00:35:46,601
Yes, you are!
888
00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:48,670
(SIREN WAILING)
889
00:35:55,654 --> 00:35:58,954
Mike, Juliet's date from
the Italian restaurant.
890
00:35:59,224 --> 00:36:02,490
Oh, yeah, I dated both
those girls that were killed.
891
00:36:02,961 --> 00:36:03,961
Yeah, they rejected me,
892
00:36:04,062 --> 00:36:07,555
they gave excuses why they
weren't ready for a relationship.
893
00:36:07,632 --> 00:36:08,793
And then they turned around
894
00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:12,565
and they were totally
interested in my, uh... (LAUGHS)
895
00:36:12,771 --> 00:36:16,674
Fictitious alter-ego, Mr. Possibilities,
because he's good-looking
896
00:36:16,741 --> 00:36:17,970
and he seems flawless.
897
00:36:18,043 --> 00:36:21,878
You see, women don't
want what they say they want.
898
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,104
And you're the same.
899
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,205
(GUN COCKS)
900
00:36:28,153 --> 00:36:29,263
All right, this was
the meeting spot.
901
00:36:29,287 --> 00:36:31,347
She can't be far
off. Let's split up!
902
00:36:31,489 --> 00:36:33,601
Remember on our date at the
restaurant, remember what you told me?
903
00:36:33,625 --> 00:36:35,603
Do you remember how you told
me that things were... What was it?
904
00:36:35,627 --> 00:36:37,994
What was it, Helene?
They were too complicated?
905
00:36:38,063 --> 00:36:39,964
They were too
complicated for you,
906
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:42,000
and then you turn around
907
00:36:42,367 --> 00:36:43,801
and you write to
Mr. Possibilities.
908
00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:46,303
You're practically begging...
Beg to go out with him.
909
00:36:49,674 --> 00:36:52,940
(SNICKERS) I almost gave you
a pass, but then you kept writing.
910
00:36:53,011 --> 00:36:54,775
You were relentless.
911
00:36:54,946 --> 00:36:57,279
You just had to go out
with him. Didn't you?
912
00:36:58,016 --> 00:36:59,616
No, I didn't! (GRUNTS)
Don't turn around!
913
00:36:59,884 --> 00:37:01,614
(JULIET SHUDDERING)
914
00:37:03,521 --> 00:37:04,784
(PANTING)
915
00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:07,918
But I'm not like
those other girls.
916
00:37:09,094 --> 00:37:10,255
I did like you.
917
00:37:11,196 --> 00:37:13,165
Maybe a little too much.
918
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,871
I just didn't think
that you were into me.
919
00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:19,626
I mean, you actually... You
made me a little nervous because
920
00:37:19,704 --> 00:37:23,664
I just didn't think that someone like you
would take someone like me seriously.
921
00:37:24,042 --> 00:37:25,374
It's true.
922
00:37:26,478 --> 00:37:29,642
I just wondered the whole time
923
00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:32,915
what you looked like
without those glasses.
924
00:37:36,921 --> 00:37:37,945
May I?
925
00:37:46,464 --> 00:37:47,523
See?
926
00:37:47,999 --> 00:37:49,365
That is so much better.
927
00:37:50,702 --> 00:37:52,796
When I look into your eyes,
928
00:37:53,238 --> 00:37:55,798
I see how deeply
you feel things.
929
00:37:56,808 --> 00:38:00,404
And I understand why you had
to do what you did to those girls.
930
00:38:01,179 --> 00:38:02,179
You do?
931
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:03,475
And now
932
00:38:04,182 --> 00:38:05,844
it can just be you
933
00:38:06,618 --> 00:38:07,813
and me.
934
00:38:11,689 --> 00:38:12,918
(GRUNTS)
935
00:38:14,993 --> 00:38:17,724
Jules, I'm coming! Okay.
936
00:38:20,265 --> 00:38:22,166
Oh, come on, you
guys! Get a room!
937
00:38:23,334 --> 00:38:24,358
Really?
938
00:38:25,203 --> 00:38:27,968
You see? Fake dating
isn't all it's cracked up to be.
939
00:38:28,039 --> 00:38:29,769
It had its moments.
940
00:38:29,908 --> 00:38:31,185
You made-out
with a serial killer.
941
00:38:31,209 --> 00:38:33,235
You made-out with Lassiter.
942
00:38:33,611 --> 00:38:34,891
Okay, I guess that
makes us even.
943
00:38:35,914 --> 00:38:38,850
Jules, I had a startling
revelation this week.
944
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:42,476
I'm ready to cohabitate
with someone.
945
00:38:42,987 --> 00:38:44,182
Really?
946
00:38:44,422 --> 00:38:45,481
Someone?
947
00:38:45,690 --> 00:38:47,902
I was going to put an ad
on Craigslist, but I mean, if...
948
00:38:47,926 --> 00:38:50,760
I mean, if you know
somebody, I'm wide open.
949
00:38:52,931 --> 00:38:55,264
I, uh, like the way we fit.
950
00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:58,813
And I'm not just talking about
when we spoon it up, half-moon style.
951
00:38:58,837 --> 00:39:00,738
Although, that's tight.
952
00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,141
I think it's time that
we moved in together.
953
00:39:09,781 --> 00:39:10,942
That doesn't scare you?
954
00:39:11,015 --> 00:39:13,143
I've thought about
it, believe me, I...
955
00:39:13,218 --> 00:39:15,517
I just realized that I haven't
lived in the same apartment
956
00:39:15,587 --> 00:39:17,556
for more than three
months since I've met you.
957
00:39:17,622 --> 00:39:18,681
Mmm.
958
00:39:18,756 --> 00:39:20,952
And home
959
00:39:22,293 --> 00:39:23,727
should be wherever you are.
960
00:39:25,463 --> 00:39:28,558
And the dogs we're
going to get relatively soon.
961
00:39:28,967 --> 00:39:34,497
So, wherever you and
the fleet of pugs are,
962
00:39:36,074 --> 00:39:37,114
that's where I want to be.
963
00:39:37,675 --> 00:39:38,938
I feel the exact same way.
964
00:39:40,245 --> 00:39:42,544
About pugs. Good, good.
965
00:39:42,614 --> 00:39:44,758
'Cause you can fit their
little faces right in your mouth.
966
00:39:44,782 --> 00:39:46,273
God, they just
squish right in there.
967
00:39:46,351 --> 00:39:48,616
Just eat their
little faces right off.
968
00:39:48,686 --> 00:39:50,018
So what made you so sure?
969
00:39:50,355 --> 00:39:53,348
I learned a lot this week,
moving back in with my dad.
970
00:39:53,424 --> 00:39:54,722
(SIGHS)
971
00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,704
I learned you can't go back
to your childhood home.
972
00:39:56,728 --> 00:39:59,391
No, that's just a place
that lives in your head.
973
00:39:59,464 --> 00:40:02,730
No, I mean literally, I can't go
back to that house ever, ever again.
974
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,996
Under any circumstances. Ever!
975
00:40:06,004 --> 00:40:07,905
I saw my parents
doing it. (GASPS)
976
00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:09,338
What? Yeah.
977
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:11,069
You're kidding.
It was horrifying.
978
00:40:11,142 --> 00:40:13,976
It was just a series of limbs,
like, more limbs than made sense
979
00:40:14,045 --> 00:40:16,537
and old person's
skin and primal noises.
980
00:40:16,614 --> 00:40:18,242
Noises? It was just
like an aardvark.
981
00:40:18,883 --> 00:40:19,942
I am so sorry.
982
00:40:20,385 --> 00:40:21,729
You want to know
something else crazy?
983
00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:22,753
Yes.
984
00:40:23,187 --> 00:40:24,707
I'm going to kiss you
on the mouth now.
985
00:40:28,059 --> 00:40:29,118
Live with me.
986
00:40:31,629 --> 00:40:32,722
Okay.
987
00:40:40,071 --> 00:40:41,071
GUS: Boom.
988
00:40:41,306 --> 00:40:42,831
Good bye, single Gus.
989
00:40:43,074 --> 00:40:45,853
I know I may have felt a little threatened
by you and Rachael at the beginning,
990
00:40:45,877 --> 00:40:47,277
but I...
991
00:40:47,378 --> 00:40:48,437
I am very happy for you.
992
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:50,271
Thank you, I appreciate that.
993
00:40:50,515 --> 00:40:52,711
I only half mean it. I still
feel a little threatened.
994
00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:55,720
I know. But my relationship isn't
quite where you and Juliet's are yet,
995
00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:56,880
but we're getting there.
996
00:40:56,955 --> 00:40:59,186
Easy, tiger. Baby steps. Right?
997
00:40:59,257 --> 00:41:01,055
These things are
delicate. Mmm-hmm?
998
00:41:01,225 --> 00:41:03,626
You know, take it slowly.
Get to know each other.
999
00:41:03,761 --> 00:41:05,229
Mmm-hmm. Maybe break up.
1000
00:41:05,596 --> 00:41:06,596
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
1001
00:41:06,998 --> 00:41:09,661
Hey! Look who's here!
1002
00:41:09,867 --> 00:41:11,111
I'm not interrupting
anything, am I?
1003
00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:12,159
Not at all. Not at all.
1004
00:41:12,236 --> 00:41:13,295
BOTH: Mmm.
1005
00:41:13,371 --> 00:41:14,737
We were sort of...
1006
00:41:14,806 --> 00:41:16,672
BOTH: Mmm. That's fine.
1007
00:41:16,774 --> 00:41:18,436
Hello, boo! (SNICKERS)
1008
00:41:18,509 --> 00:41:20,808
Mm! That's the sweet kind
of kisses I was looking for.
1009
00:41:20,878 --> 00:41:22,244
(CHUCKLES) Mmm.
1010
00:41:22,347 --> 00:41:23,542
Hello, boo.
1011
00:41:23,614 --> 00:41:25,139
You don't get to use boo, Shawn.
1012
00:41:25,216 --> 00:41:26,707
Oh, all right.
1013
00:41:27,852 --> 00:41:29,946
Look, Rachael, I just
wanted to say that, uh,
1014
00:41:30,021 --> 00:41:32,786
I'm not going to be accusing
you of murder again anytime soon.
1015
00:41:32,857 --> 00:41:34,553
And I was wrong
about you and I'm sorry.
1016
00:41:34,625 --> 00:41:38,392
And it's clear that not everyone
on the Internet is a liar and a...
1017
00:41:38,463 --> 00:41:39,487
thief and a harlot.
1018
00:41:39,998 --> 00:41:44,060
Thanks. And I want you to know that I
recognize you and Gus pooped together.
1019
00:41:44,769 --> 00:41:47,739
You're a good friend. And I'd
never interfere with that friendship.
1020
00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:53,007
I'm going to go get some
snacks. Who'd like snacks?
1021
00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:54,573
I'd love an apple, thanks!
1022
00:41:54,812 --> 00:41:56,713
I said snacks, which...
1023
00:41:57,081 --> 00:41:58,743
means an apple.
1024
00:42:01,319 --> 00:42:02,617
(CHUCKLES)
1025
00:42:02,687 --> 00:42:03,950
You know,
1026
00:42:04,689 --> 00:42:06,055
this is weird.
1027
00:42:06,124 --> 00:42:08,855
I know it's a brand new
relationship, but I feel so close to you.
1028
00:42:08,926 --> 00:42:11,225
It's not weird. I feel the same.
1029
00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:13,490
I feel comfortable, like
I can tell you anything
1030
00:42:13,564 --> 00:42:15,242
that I wouldn't have the
courage to say to other guys,
1031
00:42:15,266 --> 00:42:17,167
and certainly not so soon.
1032
00:42:17,235 --> 00:42:19,761
Boo, you can tell me
anything you want.
1033
00:42:19,837 --> 00:42:21,635
I'm ready for it all.
1034
00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:23,874
Mmm!
1035
00:42:23,941 --> 00:42:27,002
Hey, Max! Gus, this
is my son, Maximus.
1036
00:42:27,478 --> 00:42:29,242
Maximus, I told
you so many times
1037
00:42:29,313 --> 00:42:31,113
not to do it indoors
on the floor, little man!
1038
00:42:31,182 --> 00:42:33,208
All right, I found some
green apple Jolly Ranchers.
1039
00:42:33,284 --> 00:42:34,912
But that's the best
that I could do.
1040
00:42:34,986 --> 00:42:36,545
Holy crap! Who is that?
1041
00:42:41,526 --> 00:42:45,054
I know, you know That
I'm not telling the truth
1042
00:42:45,129 --> 00:42:48,122
I know, you know They
just don't have any proof
1043
00:42:48,199 --> 00:42:51,294
Embrace the deception
Learn how to bend
1044
00:42:51,469 --> 00:42:55,372
Your worst inhibitions tend
to psych you out in the end
1045
00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:57,064
I know, you know
1045
00:42:58,305 --> 00:43:58,549
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