1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:27,748 --> 00:00:32,748 Corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com 3 00:00:33,049 --> 00:00:35,765 ♪ last king Christmas ♪ ♪ last arrived ♪ 4 00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:38,095 ♪ on the Christmas ♪ ♪ Christmas ♪ 5 00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:39,965 Mmm. 6 00:00:40,090 --> 00:00:42,665 Jerry, you are really giving it to this ham. 7 00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:47,665 Um, merry Christmas. Hello? 8 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,951 My parents are coming over for the first time in years. 9 00:00:49,990 --> 00:00:51,510 Can we stow the gadgets and look alive? 10 00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:53,325 Alive? For your parents? 11 00:00:53,450 --> 00:00:55,265 - Mm, good one. - Hey, man! 12 00:00:55,390 --> 00:00:57,525 You "hey, man!" This holiday is about humanity. 13 00:00:57,650 --> 00:01:00,325 You know, I thought it was about being born half-God or something. 14 00:01:00,450 --> 00:01:01,625 Whatever. 15 00:01:01,750 --> 00:01:03,750 All electronic items are going in the stocking now. 16 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,009 Dad, I'm not giving you my phone. 17 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,640 Put it in the stocking, Summer, or I'm joining Facebook. 18 00:01:10,489 --> 00:01:11,795 A-ho, ho, ho, everybody. 19 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,125 More like "whoa, whoa, whoa." 20 00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:14,699 What is this? My parents are coming! 21 00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:15,830 Calm down, Jerry. 22 00:01:15,849 --> 00:01:17,165 This is Reuben, an old friend. 23 00:01:17,290 --> 00:01:17,930 Pearl harbor. 24 00:01:18,049 --> 00:01:21,650 I check in on him once a year and give him a little medical evaluation. 25 00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:22,625 Aww! 26 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,965 Dad, that is so sweet! 27 00:01:25,090 --> 00:01:26,765 Yeah, it is. 28 00:01:26,890 --> 00:01:27,995 I don't get it. 29 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:28,765 Korea. 30 00:01:28,890 --> 00:01:30,924 Don't worry about your Christmas, Jerry. 31 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,410 I'll be with Reuben in my workshop 32 00:01:32,419 --> 00:01:35,479 while you guys are having another day in Phil Collins' proverbial paradise. 33 00:01:35,590 --> 00:01:37,489 Huh. You think you know a guy. 34 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,120 Okay, there's my parents. 35 00:01:39,150 --> 00:01:42,364 Now, remember no TV, no phones, no laptops. 36 00:01:42,489 --> 00:01:46,615 We are connecting this Christmas, like old-school Jews on a Saturday. 37 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,194 - Hey, hey! - Merry Christmas, son. 38 00:01:49,319 --> 00:01:50,965 Uh, hi. Can I help you? 39 00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:53,724 Jerry, this is Jacob. Didn't you get our text message? 40 00:01:53,849 --> 00:01:54,765 No! 41 00:01:54,890 --> 00:01:57,495 You must be Jerry. That's a fine-looking apron. 42 00:01:57,620 --> 00:01:59,995 - Williams-sonoma? - I wish! 43 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,519 But thank you. 44 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,894 So, you're a... friend of the family? 45 00:02:04,019 --> 00:02:06,724 Uh, the way we see it, he's a part of the family. 46 00:02:06,849 --> 00:02:07,825 Wow. 47 00:02:07,950 --> 00:02:11,325 After your father's brush with cancer and losing your Uncle, 48 00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:14,695 we looked at life and wondered, how have we spent it, 49 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,495 and how do we spend the rest of it? 50 00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:18,165 What are we going to be when we die... 51 00:02:18,190 --> 00:02:23,465 a list of fears and questions or a collection of real experiences? 52 00:02:23,490 --> 00:02:25,625 Holy crap. Joyce, that's amazing. 53 00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:27,495 Then Jacob came into our lives, 54 00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:29,819 and... we're learning to live again. 55 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:31,195 All three of us. 56 00:02:31,949 --> 00:02:34,025 Cool. 57 00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:36,164 - Eggnog? - Now we are talking! 58 00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:38,224 This man's got the apron and the eggnog, huh? 59 00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:41,220 Hi, Joyce. Leonard. 60 00:02:41,319 --> 00:02:43,065 - Hello, there. - Merry Christmas, man. 61 00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:44,765 Morty, a moment of your time? 62 00:02:45,590 --> 00:02:46,724 He's in bad shape, Morty. 63 00:02:46,849 --> 00:02:48,365 Aw, geez, Rick. What'd you do? 64 00:02:48,490 --> 00:02:49,490 Gee, thanks, Morty. 65 00:02:49,550 --> 00:02:51,070 What kind of monster do you think I am? 66 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,324 I'm sitting here trying to save the guy's life. 67 00:02:53,449 --> 00:02:54,264 I need your help. 68 00:02:54,389 --> 00:02:55,925 I want you to find Dr. Xenon Bloom. 69 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:57,131 He'll know what's going on. 70 00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:59,995 Uh, where where do I find Dr. Bloom? 71 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:00,880 In Reuben. 72 00:03:00,949 --> 00:03:04,065 - Reuben, Minnesota? - Reuben on the table, Morty. 73 00:03:04,190 --> 00:03:08,269 Look, I don't have time for you to wrap your little walnut around everything. 74 00:03:08,344 --> 00:03:09,864 Just hold your breath until the process 75 00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:11,609 is over or your lungs will collapse. 76 00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:12,190 What proc- 77 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,525 - Hey, dad, where's Morty? - He's busy. 78 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,595 Morty, can you hear me? Head north. 79 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,025 Rick, where am I? 80 00:03:25,150 --> 00:03:27,845 Depending on my aim, you should be just South of the entrance. 81 00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:29,425 Entrance to what? 82 00:03:29,550 --> 00:03:30,625 Welcome, Morty. 83 00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:31,425 Welcome... 84 00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:35,224 ...to anatomy park! 85 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,895 It's a little business venture I've been cooking up on the side 86 00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:40,465 with Dr. Bloom an amusement park inside a human body. 87 00:03:40,590 --> 00:03:42,525 Science isn't cheap, Morty. 88 00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:44,764 This should really help put a dent in the overhead. 89 00:03:44,889 --> 00:03:46,895 Oh, my God! This is insane! 90 00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:49,425 Spleen Mountain? Bladder falls? 91 00:03:49,550 --> 00:03:50,264 Pirates of the pancreas? 92 00:03:50,389 --> 00:03:52,109 You got a problem with that last one, Morty? 93 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,070 Huh? No, no. 94 00:03:53,190 --> 00:03:55,164 I'm just reading 'em out loud in the order that I'm seeing 'em. 95 00:03:55,289 --> 00:03:56,289 Okay. All right. 96 00:03:56,349 --> 00:03:57,895 If I sounded a little defensive, it's because... 97 00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,465 pirates of the pancreas was my baby. 98 00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:01,865 You know, I got I got a lot of pushback when I pitched it, Morty. 99 00:04:01,990 --> 00:04:03,465 I guess I'm still a little defensive. 100 00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:04,895 Let's just find Dr. Bloom, all right? 101 00:04:05,020 --> 00:04:06,824 I'm picking up a distress signal in the liver, Morty. 102 00:04:06,949 --> 00:04:08,689 Proceed to the liver. 103 00:04:13,190 --> 00:04:14,125 Arriving at... 104 00:04:14,949 --> 00:04:15,925 ...liver. 105 00:04:16,050 --> 00:04:16,894 Ow! 106 00:04:17,019 --> 00:04:18,518 Mind the gap. 107 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,565 It's really scary in here, Rick. 108 00:04:22,690 --> 00:04:24,125 The liver's under maintenance. 109 00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:25,490 Reuben's seen some rough years, Morty. 110 00:04:25,589 --> 00:04:26,194 Don't judge. 111 00:04:26,319 --> 00:04:30,545 You don't agree to have a theme park built inside you if your life's going great. 112 00:04:32,519 --> 00:04:33,495 Rick! It's a monster! 113 00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:34,701 No, no, no. Morty. 114 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,795 The only monster here is alco...... holism. 115 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,595 That is an animatronic werewolf. 116 00:04:40,649 --> 00:04:42,694 Who are you?! Answer me! 117 00:04:42,819 --> 00:04:43,725 Where'd you come from? 118 00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,365 My my my grandpa Rick sent me! 119 00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:46,425 Poncho! 120 00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:47,894 That's quite enough. 121 00:04:48,019 --> 00:04:49,894 Morty, that's Poncho. 122 00:04:50,019 --> 00:04:51,365 This is Roger and Annie. 123 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:55,325 And I am Dr. Xenon Bloom. 124 00:04:56,319 --> 00:04:57,264 Hey, Bloom, it's Rick. 125 00:04:57,389 --> 00:04:58,264 What the hell's going on here? 126 00:04:58,389 --> 00:05:02,595 I don't know why, but the entire security system has shut down, 127 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,495 and I'm afraid... the exhibits are unlocked. 128 00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:07,995 Exhibits? 129 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,894 Anatomy park's greatest attraction, 130 00:05:09,919 --> 00:05:12,964 young man, isn't the music or the food or the... 131 00:05:13,089 --> 00:05:14,049 Pirates of the pancreas. 132 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,194 Watch it. 133 00:05:15,319 --> 00:05:16,964 It is, first and foremost, 134 00:05:17,089 --> 00:05:21,165 a living museum of humanity's most noble and ferocious diseases. 135 00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,325 Diseases? 136 00:05:22,649 --> 00:05:23,595 Hey, doc. 137 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,765 I got news for you. 138 00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:29,065 Your living museum is officially a wild safari! 139 00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:30,995 Hepatitis A! Run! 140 00:05:36,790 --> 00:05:39,394 Oh, the food goes in your mouth, girl. 141 00:05:40,389 --> 00:05:41,565 Oh, Jacob. 142 00:05:42,990 --> 00:05:44,565 I'm sorry, Jacob. 143 00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:45,811 I guess I'm still confused 144 00:05:45,819 --> 00:05:47,194 about the precise nature and 145 00:05:47,319 --> 00:05:49,725 origin of your relationship with my parents. 146 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,425 Are you, like, uh are you, like, their caretaker? 147 00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:52,310 Is that what it is? 148 00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:54,894 - We can go into detail later, son. - Now, wait. 149 00:05:55,019 --> 00:05:56,865 Th-there's no point to secrecy. 150 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,824 Let's all live and die honestly. 151 00:05:58,949 --> 00:06:01,795 Your mother and I have shared 40 years of each other, mind, 152 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,824 body, and soul, and when minds and souls are joined for 153 00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:09,065 eternity and when eternity is at the door, it's an invitation 154 00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:13,149 to let go of the body and an opportunity to share and experiment. 155 00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:14,130 Dad, please. 156 00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:15,125 What are you saying? 157 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,779 Whatever it is, it's beautiful, Leonard, and we support you. 158 00:06:18,089 --> 00:06:20,270 Hey, speak for yourself, because it... 159 00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:22,675 sounds like you're about to say Jacob is your lover. 160 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,295 No, no, no, no, no, no. 161 00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:25,995 Jacob is your mother's lover. 162 00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:29,095 I watch them sometimes... 163 00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:33,524 from a chair and sometimes from a closet, almost always dressed as superman. 164 00:06:35,449 --> 00:06:38,725 Oh. 165 00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:40,610 Jerry, this ham has got to be all you, right? 166 00:06:40,649 --> 00:06:41,925 It's incredible. 167 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,725 Happy human holiday, dad. 168 00:06:46,850 --> 00:06:47,964 Aah! 169 00:06:50,149 --> 00:06:55,125 Hepatitis won't follow us into the respiratory system. 170 00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:56,225 That's strange. 171 00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,894 Airflow is down 20%. 172 00:06:58,019 --> 00:07:00,495 So, the brain isn't getting enough oxygen. 173 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:01,820 That's why security's offline. 174 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:04,549 Well, I guess we better check it out. 175 00:07:07,089 --> 00:07:08,964 Hey! Wait for me! 176 00:07:09,089 --> 00:07:12,824 Put that back on! 177 00:07:12,949 --> 00:07:15,675 If we got up to the bronchial catwalk, we could look for a blockage. 178 00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:16,795 I'll go. 179 00:07:18,490 --> 00:07:20,795 - Don't be a hero, kid. - I'm not. 180 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,125 I'm doing it because it's fun. 181 00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:24,324 We shouldn't be here. 182 00:07:24,449 --> 00:07:27,295 Whatever you do, do not fire that thing in here. 183 00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:29,971 We must save Reuben. This is my life's work. 184 00:07:31,949 --> 00:07:33,324 It's all right, my dear. 185 00:07:33,449 --> 00:07:35,295 Nearly all human lungs contain... 186 00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:40,024 a strain of these bacteria, but the scar tissue keeps them... 187 00:07:40,149 --> 00:07:41,125 Dormant. 188 00:07:41,250 --> 00:07:43,630 - Morty, get down! - Whoa-ho-ho! 189 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:44,925 Whoa! 190 00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:47,725 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 191 00:07:51,190 --> 00:07:52,464 Oh, what are those things? 192 00:07:52,589 --> 00:07:54,795 Tuberculosis coming in fast! 193 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,041 Not faster than a bullet! 194 00:07:56,149 --> 00:07:56,995 Aah! 195 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,194 No! 196 00:07:58,319 --> 00:07:59,725 Do you know what you've done?! 197 00:08:00,819 --> 00:08:02,648 Whoa! 198 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:06,524 Get to the digestive tract! 199 00:08:06,649 --> 00:08:07,295 He's coughing! 200 00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:10,324 Whoaaaa! 201 00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:11,365 Don't let me die! 202 00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:13,095 Just take a deep breath, Reuben. 203 00:08:14,350 --> 00:08:15,595 You're not gonna die! 204 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:16,565 What's your name? 205 00:08:16,690 --> 00:08:17,510 My name is... 206 00:08:18,490 --> 00:08:20,964 Alexand- 207 00:08:24,319 --> 00:08:26,394 Rick r-r-Reuben's got tuberculosis! 208 00:08:26,519 --> 00:08:27,495 Oh, great work, Morty. 209 00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:28,900 Okay, I'll just cure it and then- 210 00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:31,194 Okay. 211 00:08:31,319 --> 00:08:32,795 Well, I can't cure death. 212 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:34,095 This is bad, Morty. 213 00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:35,380 You're trapped in a dead man. 214 00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:36,789 Listen, if the situation keeps darkening, 215 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,495 do yourself a favor and pop by pirates of the pancreas. 216 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,965 Obviously I'm biased, but I think it's great, Morty. 217 00:08:42,090 --> 00:08:45,099 It's a bunch of Pirates running around a Pancreas. 218 00:08:45,389 --> 00:08:47,225 We don't whitewash it, either, Morty. 219 00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:49,565 I mean, the pirates are really rapey. 220 00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:52,125 The top priority is to get, you know, you guys out of there, 221 00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:53,365 but I'm just saying, if that becomes impossible, 222 00:08:53,490 --> 00:08:55,388 please, you gotta treat yourself. 223 00:08:56,649 --> 00:08:59,595 Oh, man. What is that horrible smell? 224 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:00,801 You mean the panda express? 225 00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:03,695 Kidding. I-I'm kidding. 226 00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:07,125 The body is beginning to constrict and fill with gas. 227 00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:09,325 We're inside a corpse, my boy. 228 00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:10,371 Anatomy park is doomed. 229 00:09:10,490 --> 00:09:12,394 Forget about the park, doctor! 230 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:13,424 How do we get out? 231 00:09:13,549 --> 00:09:15,725 The digestive tract is the evacuation route. 232 00:09:15,850 --> 00:09:16,865 Get it? 233 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:17,995 There's an emergency station in 234 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,495 the colon with a ray that can enlarge us all. 235 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:22,465 Everybody, head for the colon! 236 00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:25,365 Now I'm taking orders from a 12-year-old boy? 237 00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:29,774 Morty, the scar sacs containing the tuberculosis were sabotaged. 238 00:09:30,149 --> 00:09:32,325 This disaster was an inside job. 239 00:09:32,450 --> 00:09:34,695 Keep your eye on Annie. 240 00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:38,674 She was written up several times by her manager at the churro stand. 241 00:09:39,049 --> 00:09:40,524 Intestines are ahead to the left, 242 00:09:40,649 --> 00:09:45,524 then to the right, then left, et cetera. 243 00:09:45,649 --> 00:09:48,264 Hey, just so you know, I'm actually 14. 244 00:09:48,389 --> 00:09:49,095 So, you know... 245 00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:49,825 What? 246 00:09:49,950 --> 00:09:52,995 - Not 12. - Okay. 247 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,524 You know, because he just said I was 12. 248 00:09:55,649 --> 00:09:56,565 Oh. 249 00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:58,365 Good for you. 250 00:09:58,490 --> 00:10:01,424 Oof. Ugh. Morty. Strike one. 251 00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:05,825 ♪ It's a road of wonder ♪ 252 00:10:05,950 --> 00:10:07,764 ♪ a trail of food ♪ 253 00:10:07,889 --> 00:10:09,764 ♪ it's a pathway to break up ♪ 254 00:10:09,889 --> 00:10:11,725 ♪ the bad and good ♪ 255 00:10:11,850 --> 00:10:13,764 ♪ it's a tube that digests ♪ 256 00:10:13,889 --> 00:10:15,625 ♪ and then sends out the rest ♪ 257 00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:17,065 ♪ it's a small, small ♪ 258 00:10:17,190 --> 00:10:19,794 ♪ intestine ♪ 259 00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:22,565 It goes on like this for miles. 260 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,394 Then we get to the large intestine! 261 00:10:25,220 --> 00:10:26,164 Shh! 262 00:10:26,289 --> 00:10:27,589 I hear something. 263 00:10:31,549 --> 00:10:32,794 Don't move. 264 00:10:32,919 --> 00:10:36,294 Gonorrhea can't see us if we don't move. 265 00:10:38,919 --> 00:10:41,095 Wait, I was wrong. I was thinking of a T. Rex. 266 00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:44,518 Move! 267 00:10:48,519 --> 00:10:49,440 We're sitting ducks! 268 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,710 Doc, didn't you say that the body was filling with gas? 269 00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:54,695 - Yes. Why? - Kid, you're a genius. 270 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:55,625 Are you mad?! 271 00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,225 Everybody, in here! 272 00:10:58,389 --> 00:10:59,825 Hey, gonorrhea! 273 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:02,589 How's this for a burning sensation? 274 00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:10,924 Huh. 275 00:11:12,649 --> 00:11:13,730 ♪ Drummer drum drum ♪ 276 00:11:13,820 --> 00:11:14,794 ♪ drum drum drum ♪ 277 00:11:14,919 --> 00:11:16,565 ♪ drum drum drum drum drum drum ♪ 278 00:11:16,690 --> 00:11:17,664 ♪ Christmas drums ♪ 279 00:11:17,789 --> 00:11:18,924 Oh, sing it, Summer. 280 00:11:19,049 --> 00:11:19,865 ♪ Christmas drums ♪ 281 00:11:19,990 --> 00:11:20,865 ♪ being played by a Bo-o-o-y ♪ 282 00:11:20,990 --> 00:11:22,111 Oh, I love to hear you sing. 283 00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:27,580 Jerry, come on. This is what you wanted. 284 00:11:27,649 --> 00:11:29,995 I get it, Beth. Be careful what you wish for. 285 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,495 I'm being punished for taking your iPad. 286 00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:34,625 What? Jerry, let that stuff go, okay? 287 00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:38,065 I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier. Let's just be here. 288 00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:39,965 - Summer! - Ethan? 289 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,125 What are you doing here? 290 00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:42,595 I've been texting you for hours! 291 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:43,595 What the hell?! 292 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,095 I don't have my phone! 293 00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:46,595 I'm doing a human holiday! 294 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,495 Well, did you even consider how that might make me feel?! 295 00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:50,625 How you feel?! 296 00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:52,865 Why is everything always happening to you?! 297 00:11:52,990 --> 00:11:54,894 Summer, do you have a boyfriend? 298 00:11:55,019 --> 00:11:56,225 Yeah, do you, Summer? 299 00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:58,595 I don't know, Ethan. Do I?! 300 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:03,845 Jerry, no disrespect, but you really need to connect more with your family, man. 301 00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:05,664 I should be able to access... 302 00:12:05,789 --> 00:12:07,825 the backup generator to get the growth ray online. 303 00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:10,725 If it works, we'll be regular-sized in a few minutes. 304 00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:13,531 I just hope Reuben's not in a room with white carpets or upholstery. 305 00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:17,065 - What the hell is that? - The sphincter dam. 306 00:12:17,190 --> 00:12:18,924 We built it when Reuben became incontinent, 307 00:12:18,949 --> 00:12:22,395 but it was not designed to hold a corpse load. 308 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:23,825 I've almost got it. 309 00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:25,495 Everybody, move inside the circle. 310 00:12:26,690 --> 00:12:29,495 Poncho? What is this in your backpack? 311 00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:31,565 That's bubonic plague! 312 00:12:31,690 --> 00:12:33,130 What are you doing with that, Poncho? 313 00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:34,965 Everybody, get back! 314 00:12:35,090 --> 00:12:36,625 Poncho, you son of a bitch! 315 00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:39,764 You released the tuberculosis so you could steal from me? 316 00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,495 That's right, baby. 317 00:12:41,620 --> 00:12:45,014 A lot of people would pay top dollar to decimate the population. 318 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:46,695 I'll take the highest bidder... 319 00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:52,025 Al-qaeda, North Korea, Republicans, shriners, balding men that work out, 320 00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:54,147 people on the Internet that are only turned on... 321 00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:56,219 by cartoons of Japanese teenagers. 322 00:12:56,519 --> 00:13:00,994 Anything is better than working for you, you pompous, negligent, 323 00:13:01,019 --> 00:13:05,344 iTunes-gift-card-as-a-holiday- bonus-giving mother- 324 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:09,125 Come on! 325 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:12,565 Aah! 326 00:13:12,690 --> 00:13:13,695 Get off! 327 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:18,625 You guys! 328 00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:19,894 It's gonna burst! Go! 329 00:13:20,019 --> 00:13:20,965 Go, go, go! 330 00:13:23,649 --> 00:13:24,919 - My foot is stuck. - No! 331 00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:27,024 It's okay! It's okay. Just go. 332 00:13:27,149 --> 00:13:28,264 Tell my family I love them. 333 00:13:28,389 --> 00:13:29,325 They may be hard to find 'cause my wife... 334 00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:31,725 kept her last name and she made the kids take it, too, 335 00:13:31,850 --> 00:13:33,225 so, I-I don't know, you can- 336 00:13:33,350 --> 00:13:34,365 No! 337 00:13:37,419 --> 00:13:40,164 Let me ask you a question, Ethan. 338 00:13:40,289 --> 00:13:41,965 Where's the anger coming from, man? 339 00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:45,095 From Summer being a total bitch! 340 00:13:45,220 --> 00:13:49,695 Where's the anger coming from? 341 00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:51,625 My brother... took me fishing 342 00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:52,894 once... in the bushes... 343 00:13:54,289 --> 00:13:55,524 I can't... I can't... 344 00:13:56,550 --> 00:14:00,595 He made me feel like a girl! He made me a girl! 345 00:14:01,743 --> 00:14:03,924 He didn't make you anything, man. 346 00:14:04,049 --> 00:14:05,894 You are who you are. 347 00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,894 She is who she is. 348 00:14:08,019 --> 00:14:09,995 Now, you go to her... brand-new. 349 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,164 Come here, right now. 350 00:14:11,289 --> 00:14:12,524 Oh, my God. 351 00:14:12,649 --> 00:14:14,225 I'm so sorry, Ethan! I love you! 352 00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:15,725 I love you so much. 353 00:14:17,149 --> 00:14:18,595 Um... 354 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,065 You did it again, cubbie. 355 00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:21,394 Come here. 356 00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:28,125 No! Stop! I hate this! 357 00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:30,674 Well, Christmas doesn't revolve around what you hate, son. 358 00:14:31,049 --> 00:14:32,664 Well, then I hate Christmas! 359 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,264 Enjoy being human! 360 00:14:34,389 --> 00:14:36,595 You guys are gross and lame. 361 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,164 My name's Reuben Ridley. 362 00:14:38,289 --> 00:14:40,924 You're inside me right now, but by the end of this journey... 363 00:14:41,049 --> 00:14:41,894 Whoopsie. 364 00:14:42,019 --> 00:14:44,765 I'll be inside all of you. 365 00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:48,170 My story begins during the dot-com crash in the early '90s. 366 00:14:50,304 --> 00:14:52,225 You can put your fingers wherever you want. 367 00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,191 Morty, you want to put it on mute or something? 368 00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:55,625 I'm I'm trying to concentrate. 369 00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:56,764 Uh... Rick? 370 00:14:56,889 --> 00:14:57,729 Not now, Jerry. 371 00:14:57,820 --> 00:14:59,865 I've got much, much smaller fish to fry. 372 00:14:59,990 --> 00:15:02,664 I wanted to say I'm sorry I ever judged you. 373 00:15:02,789 --> 00:15:04,825 Right now, you're my sanest relative. 374 00:15:04,950 --> 00:15:05,764 Relative. 375 00:15:05,889 --> 00:15:06,764 Relative size! 376 00:15:06,889 --> 00:15:08,424 Jerry, hand me a scalpel and a bundle of dynamite. 377 00:15:08,549 --> 00:15:10,029 Morty, can you get to the left nipple? 378 00:15:10,149 --> 00:15:11,189 Are you kidding? 379 00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:12,890 I'm hoping I can get to both of 'em, Rick. 380 00:15:12,919 --> 00:15:15,130 No, Morty, I'm talking about Reuben's left nipple. 381 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:19,065 We need to get to the left nipple! 382 00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:20,465 The body is decaying. 383 00:15:20,590 --> 00:15:23,164 The arterial transit system is useless. 384 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:24,764 We can try the service shuttle. 385 00:15:24,889 --> 00:15:26,424 It's connected to the skeletal system. 386 00:15:26,549 --> 00:15:28,365 That's why we call it the bone train. 387 00:15:28,490 --> 00:15:31,965 Would you like to ride the bone train, miss? 388 00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:32,995 If it'll get us out of here. 389 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,894 How about you, Morty? 390 00:15:35,019 --> 00:15:36,825 Would you like to ride the bone train? 391 00:15:36,950 --> 00:15:38,894 Why are you doing this bit? 392 00:15:39,019 --> 00:15:40,689 We're gonna die! Let's go! 393 00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:45,325 Well... I can see you're busy. 394 00:15:45,450 --> 00:15:48,924 Merry Christmas, Rick. 395 00:15:50,389 --> 00:15:51,995 There's no autopilot. 396 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:55,288 One of us will have to stay here and operate it manually. 397 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,365 Uh, well... 398 00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:02,325 No, you're you're right. 399 00:16:02,450 --> 00:16:04,410 It was a dick move for me to even pause like that. 400 00:16:04,490 --> 00:16:06,065 This is all my fault. You go on. 401 00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:08,725 What the hell is that? 402 00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:10,595 E. Coli outbreak. 403 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:11,220 Hurry! 404 00:16:13,419 --> 00:16:17,024 - Wait, there is an autopilot. - Wait! 405 00:16:17,149 --> 00:16:18,465 It's okay! Never mind! 406 00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:21,418 I wanted to sacrifice myself anyway! 407 00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:26,070 They're they're chewing through the doors! 408 00:16:27,649 --> 00:16:30,164 We're in the areola, Rick, almost to the nipple, 409 00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,095 but we're also in a really bad situation! 410 00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:34,319 I'm almost there, Morty! 411 00:16:44,149 --> 00:16:45,365 Reports from all over the 412 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:46,764 country have been coming in 413 00:16:46,889 --> 00:16:48,424 about what appears to be... 414 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:52,294 a giant, naked man over the continental United States. 415 00:16:52,419 --> 00:16:53,995 We now go to Tom Randolph in New York. 416 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:54,894 Tom? 417 00:16:55,019 --> 00:16:58,009 Well, the eyes aren't twinkling and the dimples aren't merry, 418 00:16:58,035 --> 00:17:01,746 but I'm standing under a nose like a 70-mile cherry. 419 00:17:01,990 --> 00:17:02,965 Thank you, Tom. 420 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,565 Let's go now to Eric McMahan in Los Angeles. 421 00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:08,094 We've got feet here on the west coast, Bill, 422 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:11,325 giant feet, even relative to the giant man's size, 423 00:17:11,450 --> 00:17:14,095 and you know what they say about that. 424 00:17:14,220 --> 00:17:16,125 Well, if the old adage is true, 425 00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:20,825 one can only wonder what's going down in the rocky mountains. 426 00:17:22,150 --> 00:17:23,964 Wha? 427 00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:34,795 Oh my God, the track! 428 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,164 It's Hepatitis A! 429 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:37,989 Aaaah! 430 00:17:52,950 --> 00:17:54,325 The nipple hole. 431 00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:56,748 It's beautiful. 432 00:18:03,319 --> 00:18:05,618 - Oh, no! - Holy crap! 433 00:18:08,619 --> 00:18:10,694 Whoa! It's Hepatitis C! 434 00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:18,994 Um... wait did we have some sort of relationship with him? 435 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:20,694 I think they're just like that? 436 00:18:20,819 --> 00:18:22,464 I think they're just good guys. 437 00:18:22,589 --> 00:18:25,494 Oh. Huh. 438 00:18:25,619 --> 00:18:26,700 Where's Dr. Bloom? 439 00:18:26,750 --> 00:18:28,295 I'm sorry, Rick, but he's dead. 440 00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:31,048 God damn it, Morty. I ask you to do one thing! 441 00:18:40,945 --> 00:18:43,095 Jerry doesn't know what he's missing. 442 00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:45,494 He'll come around, Beth. Christmas is a special time. 443 00:18:45,619 --> 00:18:48,065 It has funny ways of bringing families together. 444 00:18:48,190 --> 00:18:49,365 I don't know, Jacob. 445 00:18:49,490 --> 00:18:52,964 Jerry got an invitation to be alive today, and he rejected it. 446 00:18:53,089 --> 00:18:55,048 I don't know if our marriage will... 447 00:18:58,420 --> 00:18:59,865 It's raining blood! 448 00:18:59,990 --> 00:19:01,095 Oh, shit. Find Jerry. 449 00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:01,964 Oh, God. 450 00:19:02,089 --> 00:19:03,630 - Jerry! - It's all right. 451 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,365 The TV says there's nothing to worry about. 452 00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:09,295 The giant, naked sky Santa has exploded. 453 00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:13,065 Blood and chunks of viscera are raining down on the country. 454 00:19:13,190 --> 00:19:14,295 Everything should be fine. 455 00:19:15,390 --> 00:19:16,194 Oh, yes. 456 00:19:16,319 --> 00:19:18,164 Dad, can I have my phone back? 457 00:19:18,289 --> 00:19:20,224 A sure, sweetie. Here. 458 00:19:20,349 --> 00:19:22,065 Everybody, take a device. 459 00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:23,724 It'll help you relax. 460 00:19:23,849 --> 00:19:26,265 - This is nice. - Yeah. 461 00:19:26,390 --> 00:19:29,065 Look, I guess we really learned something this Christmas, Jacob. 462 00:19:29,190 --> 00:19:30,424 No, we didn't, dad. 463 00:19:30,549 --> 00:19:32,125 No, we didn't. 464 00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:35,394 Too bad about Dr. Bloom. 465 00:19:35,519 --> 00:19:39,164 He was a genius the only man capable of creating a new anatomy park. 466 00:19:39,289 --> 00:19:41,494 Actually, I studied Dr. Bloom's work. 467 00:19:41,619 --> 00:19:43,524 I believe I have the knowledge necessary 468 00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:45,825 to create an entirely new, much safer park. 469 00:19:45,950 --> 00:19:47,994 What about... Pirates of the pancreas? 470 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:50,311 I think it was one of the most underrated attractions. 471 00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,795 Boo-yah! Hold your breath. 472 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,464 Hey, what the hell, Rick?! 473 00:19:55,589 --> 00:19:57,525 What the hell, man! I liked her! 474 00:19:57,650 --> 00:19:59,065 I really had something going there, Rick! 475 00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:00,111 Yeah, so I heard. 476 00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:02,365 You dodged a bullet, Morty, trust me. 477 00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:04,964 - Puffy vagina. - What's wrong with that? 478 00:20:05,089 --> 00:20:06,511 That doesn't sound like a problem to me. 479 00:20:06,549 --> 00:20:07,365 I don't know. 480 00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:09,095 Come on, let's get some stuffing. 481 00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:10,894 I'm starving. 482 00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:13,994 Oh, unbelievable. 483 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:16,465 We got we got a bunch of robot, computer people, 484 00:20:16,490 --> 00:20:19,395 sitting around with their faces stuffed into computer screens. 485 00:20:19,420 --> 00:20:22,125 Do you guys realize that Christ was born today? 486 00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:24,595 Jesus Christ, our savior, was born today. 487 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,765 Are are are you people even human? 488 00:20:26,890 --> 00:20:28,818 What kind of Christmas is this? 489 00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:01,424 Hey, Rick? Rick, can you hear me? 490 00:21:01,549 --> 00:21:02,194 Loud and clear, Annie. 491 00:21:02,319 --> 00:21:03,164 Great. 492 00:21:03,254 --> 00:21:05,294 We're also on with Alejandro, our chief imaginarian. 493 00:21:05,319 --> 00:21:06,025 Hey, Rick. 494 00:21:06,150 --> 00:21:09,019 Natalie Jacobs and Chris Deseter from microscopic marketing, 495 00:21:09,049 --> 00:21:11,664 Zack from organ concepts, and Jamie from new media. 496 00:21:11,789 --> 00:21:12,464 Hey, everybody. 497 00:21:12,589 --> 00:21:14,065 - Hi, how's it going? - Hi, Rick. 498 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,311 So, pirates of the pancreas. 499 00:21:15,319 --> 00:21:16,025 Yeah. Talk to me. 500 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:18,295 Hey, Rick. It's Alejandro speaking. 501 00:21:18,420 --> 00:21:20,125 Um, so, we asked ourselves, 502 00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:22,295 internally we asked ourselves over here, 503 00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:24,824 "okay, what does a pancreas do?" 504 00:21:24,849 --> 00:21:27,295 And the answer was, "does it make pirates?" 505 00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:29,724 No, it makes Insulin, you know? 506 00:21:29,849 --> 00:21:33,400 - So, we're starting with a new- - Those guys are inside me, huh? 507 00:21:33,490 --> 00:21:34,594 Like, building a park? 508 00:21:34,619 --> 00:21:37,494 Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit, Ethan! 509 00:21:37,619 --> 00:21:39,799 They're inside you building a monument to compromise! 510 00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:42,125 Those people. 511 00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:44,295 This whole thing, Ethan. 512 00:21:44,420 --> 00:21:46,921 Cool. And who pays me? 513 00:21:47,546 --> 00:21:52,546 Corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com 513 00:21:53,305 --> 00:21:59,549 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org