1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:32,390 --> 00:00:33,690 Principal vagina here 3 00:00:33,790 --> 00:00:34,990 don't let the name fool you. 4 00:00:34,990 --> 00:00:36,220 I'm very much in charge 5 00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:37,450 reminding you that tonight is 6 00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:39,020 our annual flu season dance. 7 00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:40,250 I don't know how many times i 8 00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:41,420 have to say this, but if you 9 00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:42,520 have the flu, stay home. 10 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,420 Hey. 11 00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:44,920 The flu season dance is about 12 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:45,950 awareness, not celebration. 13 00:00:45,950 --> 00:00:47,150 Morty: [sighs] 14 00:00:47,150 --> 00:00:47,150 you don't bring dead babies 15 00:00:47,850 --> 00:00:48,985 to passover. 16 00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:50,550 Morty: okay. Here we go. 17 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,720 H-hey, Jessica. 18 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,320 Uh... 19 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,550 what's up, Morty? 20 00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:55,220 [Sneezes] 21 00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:56,220 what are you doing? 22 00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:57,049 Morty: um... 23 00:00:57,049 --> 00:00:58,190 wait, wait. 24 00:00:58,190 --> 00:01:00,150 Were you about to talk... to her? 25 00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:01,850 Morty: well... I mean, I was 26 00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:02,920 thinking about it. 27 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,819 Dude, stay in your league. 28 00:01:04,819 --> 00:01:05,989 Look at how hot she is. 29 00:01:05,989 --> 00:01:07,250 You don't see me going to a 30 00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:08,819 bigger school in a wealthier 31 00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:09,819 district and hitting on their 32 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:10,620 prettiest girl. 33 00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:11,790 Gee, thanks, brad. 34 00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:13,319 I throw balls far. 35 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:14,989 You want good words? 36 00:01:14,989 --> 00:01:16,550 Date a languager. 37 00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:17,720 Jerry: try not to worry about 38 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:18,450 it, Morty. 39 00:01:18,450 --> 00:01:19,890 You're a good kid, and there's 40 00:01:19,890 --> 00:01:21,019 not a premium on that right now, 41 00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:22,120 but you'll be getting girls 42 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:22,120 sometime after brad's out of 43 00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:23,715 shape. 44 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,790 Morty: [sighing] you're 45 00:01:24,790 --> 00:01:26,150 missing the point, dad. 46 00:01:26,150 --> 00:01:27,550 I don't want girls. 47 00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:28,849 I want Jessica. 48 00:01:28,849 --> 00:01:30,790 Jerry: ah, well, I remember 49 00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,049 feeling that way about a young 50 00:01:32,049 --> 00:01:33,750 lady named "your mom," and 51 00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,049 that's not an urban diss. 52 00:01:35,049 --> 00:01:36,150 Your mom was my Jessica. 53 00:01:36,150 --> 00:01:36,150 I remember the first time I saw 54 00:01:36,849 --> 00:01:37,415 her. 55 00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:38,085 I thought 56 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,250 Rick: "i should get her 57 00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:40,120 pregnant, and then she'll have 58 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,019 to marry me." 59 00:01:41,019 --> 00:01:42,019 Jerry: I beg your pardon, 60 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:43,120 Rick inappropriate. 61 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,319 Rick: sorry, please proceed 62 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:45,420 with your story about banging my 63 00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:46,750 daughter in high school. 64 00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:47,890 I'm not sure you want to take 65 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:48,650 romantic advice from this guy, 66 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:49,390 Morty. 67 00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:50,390 His marriage is hanging from a 68 00:01:50,390 --> 00:01:51,090 thread. 69 00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:51,090 Jerry: my marriage is fine, 70 00:01:51,950 --> 00:01:52,784 thank you. 71 00:01:52,819 --> 00:01:53,950 Rick: Jerry, it's your 72 00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:55,150 house whatever you say it is 73 00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:56,319 is how it is but I think a 74 00:01:56,319 --> 00:01:57,390 blind man could see that Beth is 75 00:01:57,390 --> 00:01:58,489 looking for the door. 76 00:01:58,489 --> 00:01:59,790 I barely have a reason to care, 77 00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:00,650 and even inoticed. 78 00:02:00,650 --> 00:02:01,790 Morty: come on, Rick! 79 00:02:01,790 --> 00:02:02,590 Don't talk about my parents like 80 00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:03,319 that. 81 00:02:03,319 --> 00:02:04,420 Rick: listen, Morty, I hate 82 00:02:04,420 --> 00:02:05,720 to break it to you, but what 83 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:06,920 people call "love" is just a 84 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,220 chemical reaction that compels 85 00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:09,389 animals to breed. 86 00:02:09,389 --> 00:02:11,050 It hits hard, Morty, then it 87 00:02:11,050 --> 00:02:12,520 slowly fades, leaving you 88 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:13,990 stranded in a failing marriage. 89 00:02:13,990 --> 00:02:14,919 I did it. 90 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:16,020 Your parents are gonna do it. 91 00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:17,120 Break the cycle, Morty. 92 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,650 Rise above. Focus on science. 93 00:02:18,650 --> 00:02:20,990 [Slurps] 94 00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:22,190 Morty: all right, well, I'm 95 00:02:22,190 --> 00:02:22,190 gonna go get dressed for the 96 00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:23,914 dance. 97 00:02:23,949 --> 00:02:25,250 Jerry: yeah, I'm just going 98 00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:27,490 to... check on your mom. 99 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,150 Rick: Morty, hand me that 100 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,819 screwdriver, huh? 101 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:33,949 I'm almost finished making my 102 00:02:33,949 --> 00:02:34,949 ionic defibulizer, Morty. 103 00:02:34,949 --> 00:02:36,050 It's gonna be great. 104 00:02:36,050 --> 00:02:37,289 Morty: hey, listen, Rick. 105 00:02:37,289 --> 00:02:38,819 Y-y-you know how you said that, 106 00:02:38,819 --> 00:02:39,990 you know, love is a chemical and 107 00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:41,150 all that stuff from earlier? 108 00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:42,289 Well, I was thinking, you know, 109 00:02:42,289 --> 00:02:43,849 w-w could you make some sort 110 00:02:43,849 --> 00:02:45,250 of chemical thing happen inside 111 00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:46,819 of Jessica's mind, you know, so 112 00:02:46,819 --> 00:02:48,150 where she falls in love with me 113 00:02:48,150 --> 00:02:49,449 and all that sort of thing? 114 00:02:49,449 --> 00:02:50,319 You know, like, maybe make some 115 00:02:50,319 --> 00:02:50,319 sort of love potion or 116 00:02:50,949 --> 00:02:51,814 something? 117 00:02:51,849 --> 00:02:52,690 Rick: Morty, that's such a 118 00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:53,550 poor use of my time. 119 00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:54,319 It's beneath me. 120 00:02:54,319 --> 00:02:55,389 Hand me the screwdriver. 121 00:02:55,389 --> 00:02:56,190 Morty: you know what? 122 00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:57,090 No, Rick! 123 00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:57,090 I'm not gonna hand you the 124 00:02:57,949 --> 00:02:58,814 screwdriver. 125 00:02:58,849 --> 00:02:59,949 I-I'm not gonna hand you 126 00:02:59,949 --> 00:03:01,050 anything ever again, Rick! 127 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,349 I'm always helping you with this 128 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,789 and that and the other thing. 129 00:03:03,789 --> 00:03:05,819 W-w-w-w-w-what about me, Rick? 130 00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,349 W-w-w-w-why can't you just help 131 00:03:07,349 --> 00:03:08,919 me out once once for once? 132 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:09,949 Rick: [groans] 133 00:03:09,949 --> 00:03:11,220 you're growing up fast, Morty. 134 00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:12,490 You're growing into a real big 135 00:03:12,490 --> 00:03:13,789 thorn straight up into my ass. 136 00:03:13,789 --> 00:03:14,889 [Clears throat] 137 00:03:14,889 --> 00:03:16,289 listen, this is called oxytocin. 138 00:03:16,289 --> 00:03:17,750 I extracted it from a vole. 139 00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:18,690 Do you know what a vole is, 140 00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:19,690 Morty? 141 00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:20,750 You know what a vole is? 142 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:21,819 It's a it's a rodent that 143 00:03:21,819 --> 00:03:22,949 mates for life, Morty. 144 00:03:22,949 --> 00:03:24,220 This is the chemical released in 145 00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:25,319 a mammal's brain, you know, that 146 00:03:25,319 --> 00:03:26,490 makes it fall in love. 147 00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:27,919 All right, Morty, I just got to 148 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:28,720 [burps] combine it with some of 149 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:29,349 your dna. 150 00:03:29,349 --> 00:03:30,250 Morty: oh, well, okay. 151 00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:31,190 [Zipper opens] 152 00:03:31,190 --> 00:03:32,250 Rick: a hair, Morty. 153 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,389 I need one of your hairs. 154 00:03:33,389 --> 00:03:34,120 This isn't "game of thrones." 155 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:35,690 Morty: ow! 156 00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:36,990 Rick: all right, Morty. 157 00:03:36,990 --> 00:03:38,349 Whoever you smear this stuff on 158 00:03:38,349 --> 00:03:39,720 will fall in love with you, and 159 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,789 only you, forever. 160 00:03:40,789 --> 00:03:41,849 Are you happy now, Morty? 161 00:03:41,849 --> 00:03:42,889 Morty: heck, yeah! 162 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,289 Thank you, grandpa Rick. 163 00:03:44,289 --> 00:03:45,720 Hey, there's no... dangers or 164 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:46,590 anything, or side effects, 165 00:03:46,590 --> 00:03:47,319 right? 166 00:03:47,319 --> 00:03:48,389 Rick: w-w-w-what am i, a 167 00:03:48,389 --> 00:03:49,319 hack? 168 00:03:49,319 --> 00:03:53,789 Go nuts, Morty. It's foolproof. 169 00:03:53,789 --> 00:03:56,490 Eh, unless she has the flu. 170 00:03:56,490 --> 00:03:57,819 Jerry: Beth, do y-you still 171 00:03:57,819 --> 00:03:58,789 love me? 172 00:03:58,789 --> 00:04:00,020 Beth: ugh, what kind of 173 00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:01,250 question is that? 174 00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:02,289 Jerry: the "yes or no" kind? 175 00:04:02,289 --> 00:04:03,319 [Laughs nervously] 176 00:04:03,319 --> 00:04:04,449 Beth: Jerry, do you want 177 00:04:04,449 --> 00:04:05,650 homeless people to have homes? 178 00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:06,449 Jerry: yes. 179 00:04:06,449 --> 00:04:07,490 Beth: are you gonna build 180 00:04:07,490 --> 00:04:07,490 them? 181 00:04:07,919 --> 00:04:08,914 Jerry: no. 182 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:09,819 Beth: then what good was the 183 00:04:09,819 --> 00:04:10,789 "yes"? 184 00:04:10,789 --> 00:04:12,020 Jerry: wait, i-is loving me 185 00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:12,020 the house or the homeless 186 00:04:12,889 --> 00:04:13,754 people? 187 00:04:13,789 --> 00:04:14,990 Beth: loving you is work, 188 00:04:14,990 --> 00:04:16,889 Jerry hard work, like 189 00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:18,990 building a homeless shelter 190 00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:20,389 nobody wants to say no to doing 191 00:04:20,389 --> 00:04:21,519 it, but some people put the work 192 00:04:21,519 --> 00:04:22,120 in. 193 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,220 So, what do you say? 194 00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:24,420 Do you see me working here? 195 00:04:24,420 --> 00:04:25,589 Does this conversation seem 196 00:04:25,589 --> 00:04:26,250 tedious to me? 197 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:27,449 Jerry: sort of. 198 00:04:27,449 --> 00:04:28,850 Beth: then I obviously sort 199 00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:29,750 oflove you, don't i? 200 00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:30,889 [Cellphone chimes] 201 00:04:30,889 --> 00:04:31,920 so stop asking, and maybe I'll 202 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,019 love you more. 203 00:04:33,019 --> 00:04:34,089 Crap, they need me at the horse 204 00:04:34,089 --> 00:04:35,019 hospital. 205 00:04:35,019 --> 00:04:36,290 Jerry: puh! This late? 206 00:04:36,290 --> 00:04:37,550 Beth: the racetrack had a 207 00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:38,389 starlight derby. 208 00:04:38,389 --> 00:04:39,790 There was a seven-horse 209 00:04:39,790 --> 00:04:40,690 collision, and davin's there 210 00:04:40,690 --> 00:04:42,250 alone. 211 00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:43,389 Jerry: [thinking] davin. 212 00:04:43,389 --> 00:04:44,690 Davin. 213 00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:46,850 Davin! Davin. 214 00:04:46,850 --> 00:04:49,190 Davin! Davin! 215 00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:52,050 Davin! Davin! 216 00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:52,050 [Rapping] ♪ ♪ flu, yo ♪ ♪ 217 00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:54,020 ♪ ♪ you got to be aware ♪ ♪ 218 00:04:53,990 --> 00:04:55,050 ♪ ♪ aware of all the flu ♪ ♪ 219 00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:56,490 ♪ ♪ up in the air ♪ ♪ 220 00:04:56,490 --> 00:04:57,550 ♪ ♪ I'm-a get me a shot ♪ ♪ 221 00:04:57,550 --> 00:04:58,449 ♪ ♪ and make the flu go away ♪ ♪ 222 00:04:58,449 --> 00:04:59,819 ♪ ♪ flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪ 223 00:04:59,819 --> 00:05:01,449 ♪ ♪ just rapping away ♪ ♪ 224 00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:03,420 ♪ ♪ yo, yo, flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪ 225 00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:04,519 ♪ ♪ it's a flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪ 226 00:05:04,519 --> 00:05:05,720 Morty: hey, there, Jessica. 227 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,949 Whoa! Oh, whoopsie! 228 00:05:08,949 --> 00:05:09,990 Oh, my god. 229 00:05:09,990 --> 00:05:11,750 Morty. 230 00:05:11,750 --> 00:05:13,750 You look really nice tonight. 231 00:05:13,750 --> 00:05:15,319 Morty: wow, thanks. 232 00:05:15,319 --> 00:05:16,420 I love you, Morty! 233 00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:18,589 I love you so much it burns! 234 00:05:18,589 --> 00:05:20,120 Morty: oh, man! 235 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,750 I-i love you too, Jessica! 236 00:05:21,750 --> 00:05:22,850 [Spits] 237 00:05:22,850 --> 00:05:23,920 is this punk bothering you, 238 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:24,889 Jessica? 239 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:26,149 Leave him alone, jerk! 240 00:05:26,149 --> 00:05:27,790 I'm in love with him! 241 00:05:27,790 --> 00:05:28,720 He is more man than you will 242 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:29,190 ever be! 243 00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:30,250 [Sneezes] 244 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:31,319 [rapping] # # this is about 245 00:05:31,319 --> 00:05:32,519 flu awareness ♪ ♪ 246 00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:33,990 ♪ ♪ got to be aware of the flu in 247 00:05:33,990 --> 00:05:35,220 the air-ness ♪ ♪ 248 00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:37,220 ♪ ♪ yo, I'm a flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪ 249 00:05:37,220 --> 00:05:38,690 oh, man, Morty. 250 00:05:38,690 --> 00:05:39,750 [Sighs] 251 00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:40,990 I'm really sorry. 252 00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:42,250 Morty: oh, well, n-no 253 00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:43,490 problem, brad. 254 00:05:43,490 --> 00:05:44,550 There's something special 255 00:05:44,550 --> 00:05:46,190 about you, Morty so special. 256 00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:47,149 Mmm, yeah. 257 00:05:47,149 --> 00:05:48,350 Morty: whoa, take it easy! 258 00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:49,550 Get your hands off of him! 259 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:50,389 Back off! 260 00:05:50,389 --> 00:05:51,850 I'm trying to be with my man! 261 00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:52,949 That's enough, bradley! 262 00:05:52,949 --> 00:05:53,850 We don't want you injuring your 263 00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:54,620 ball-throwing arm. 264 00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:55,190 Oh, come on, 265 00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:55,190 principal vagina. 266 00:05:55,819 --> 00:05:56,414 I just... 267 00:05:56,449 --> 00:05:57,120 never leave me, Morty. 268 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,050 Never! 269 00:05:58,050 --> 00:05:59,649 Morty: uh, sure. 270 00:05:59,649 --> 00:06:01,319 I mean, o-of course not. 271 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,019 W-what do you think that was all 272 00:06:03,019 --> 00:06:04,089 about? 273 00:06:04,089 --> 00:06:05,490 Who cares? Just hold me. 274 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,690 Let me go! I love you, Morty! 275 00:06:07,690 --> 00:06:08,889 [Sneezes] 276 00:06:08,889 --> 00:06:10,050 let go of me! 277 00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:11,050 [Sneezes] 278 00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:12,889 Morty! 279 00:06:17,889 --> 00:06:19,120 Jerry: she's gonna be alone 280 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,250 with that guy all night. 281 00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:21,449 Summer: yeah, dad, digging 282 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:22,720 around the insides of horses. 283 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:23,149 It's not a very romantic 284 00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:24,050 setting. 285 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,120 Rick: well, Summer, there's 286 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,319 always the possibility that she 287 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:27,519 made the whole work thing up. 288 00:06:27,519 --> 00:06:28,750 Maybe davin's digging around in 289 00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:29,819 herinsides. 290 00:06:29,819 --> 00:06:31,290 Summer: grandpa, so gross! 291 00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:32,250 You're talking about my mom. 292 00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:33,149 Rick: well, she's my 293 00:06:33,149 --> 00:06:34,019 daughter, Summer. 294 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,050 I outrank you. 295 00:06:35,050 --> 00:06:36,350 Or family means nothing, in 296 00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:37,920 which case don't play that card. 297 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:38,949 Jerry: she's not responding 298 00:06:38,949 --> 00:06:39,889 to my texts! 299 00:06:39,889 --> 00:06:41,050 Summer: careful, dad. 300 00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:42,149 Jealousy turns women off. 301 00:06:42,149 --> 00:06:43,089 Jerry: well, isn't that 302 00:06:43,089 --> 00:06:44,050 convenient? 303 00:06:44,050 --> 00:06:45,019 Rick: not for the men they 304 00:06:45,019 --> 00:06:46,290 cheat on, no. 305 00:06:46,290 --> 00:06:48,220 Jerry: okay, I'm... going to 306 00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:49,819 go out... for some ice cream. 307 00:06:49,819 --> 00:06:51,319 And maybe stop by the 308 00:06:51,319 --> 00:06:53,290 hospital... to support my wife... 309 00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:54,550 with my confidence. 310 00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:55,790 [Door closes] 311 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,019 Summer: god, grandpa, you're 312 00:06:57,019 --> 00:06:57,019 such a dick. 313 00:06:57,949 --> 00:06:58,519 Rick: I'm sorry, Summer. 314 00:06:59,089 --> 00:06:59,089 Your opinion means very little 315 00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:00,685 to me. 316 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:01,850 How come you're not at this 317 00:07:01,850 --> 00:07:02,620 stupid dance everyone loves so 318 00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:03,190 much? 319 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,220 Summer: screw that. 320 00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:05,149 I don't want to get sick. 321 00:07:05,149 --> 00:07:05,149 It's flu season. 322 00:07:05,949 --> 00:07:06,769 Rick: it is? 323 00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:07,589 Summer: yeah. 324 00:07:07,589 --> 00:07:08,720 Rick: uh-oh. 325 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,750 [Hip-hop music plays] 326 00:07:14,190 --> 00:07:15,490 Morty: please just let this 327 00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:16,019 work out. 328 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:16,019 [Moans] 329 00:07:16,949 --> 00:07:18,984 do it, Morty. Do it. 330 00:07:19,019 --> 00:07:20,190 Rip my clothes off and mate with 331 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,519 me for life! 332 00:07:21,519 --> 00:07:22,220 [Growls] 333 00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:23,449 Morty: um... 334 00:07:23,449 --> 00:07:24,889 can we maybe go somewhere more 335 00:07:24,889 --> 00:07:25,889 private? 336 00:07:25,889 --> 00:07:27,149 Jessica, get a hold of 337 00:07:27,149 --> 00:07:27,149 yourself! 338 00:07:27,949 --> 00:07:29,389 [Grunts] 339 00:07:29,389 --> 00:07:30,720 you don't deserve to carry 340 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,290 Morty's genes. 341 00:07:32,290 --> 00:07:34,519 [Rapping] ♪ ♪ I love Morty ♪ ♪ 342 00:07:34,519 --> 00:07:36,949 ♪ ♪ and I hope Morty loves me ♪ ♪ 343 00:07:36,949 --> 00:07:38,790 ♪ ♪ I'd like to wrap my arms 344 00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:40,190 around him ♪ ♪ 345 00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:41,990 ♪ ♪ and feel him inside me ♪ ♪ 346 00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:43,389 Morty: oh, crap. 347 00:07:43,389 --> 00:07:45,690 [Indistinct shouting] 348 00:07:45,690 --> 00:07:48,420 Morty! 349 00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:49,449 Rick: Morty, come on! 350 00:07:49,449 --> 00:07:50,519 We got to get you out of here. 351 00:07:50,519 --> 00:07:51,690 You're not gonna believe this 352 00:07:51,690 --> 00:07:52,519 because it usually never 353 00:07:52,519 --> 00:07:54,120 happens, but I made a mistake. 354 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,149 [Both panting] 355 00:07:55,149 --> 00:07:56,050 come on, Morty. 356 00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:56,050 We got to get out of here. 357 00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:56,990 Come on. 358 00:07:57,190 --> 00:07:57,190 Morty! 359 00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:58,720 Morty: [wails] 360 00:07:58,720 --> 00:07:59,589 are you okay? 361 00:07:59,589 --> 00:08:00,149 Morty: I'm fine! 362 00:08:00,149 --> 00:08:01,120 Oh, good. 363 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:02,250 If anything ever happened to 364 00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:03,889 you, I would kill myself. 365 00:08:03,889 --> 00:08:05,790 I love you bad, mo-mo! 366 00:08:05,790 --> 00:08:07,649 [All panting] 367 00:08:07,649 --> 00:08:10,019 [indistinct shouting] 368 00:08:10,019 --> 00:08:11,220 Morty, the principal and i 369 00:08:11,220 --> 00:08:12,490 have discussed it, a-a-and we're 370 00:08:12,490 --> 00:08:13,620 both insecure enough to agree to 371 00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:14,850 a three-way! 372 00:08:19,550 --> 00:08:20,719 Rick: I didn't realize when i 373 00:08:20,889 --> 00:08:21,889 gave you that serum that Jessica 374 00:08:21,889 --> 00:08:22,889 had the flu you know, 375 00:08:22,889 --> 00:08:23,949 t-t-t-t-t-t-t-that might have 376 00:08:23,949 --> 00:08:24,690 been valuable information for 377 00:08:24,690 --> 00:08:25,420 me, Morty. 378 00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:26,190 Morty: what the hell is going 379 00:08:26,190 --> 00:08:27,120 on, Rick? 380 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,250 Rick: what does it look like? 381 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:29,550 T-t-t-the serum is piggybacking 382 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:30,350 on the virus. 383 00:08:30,350 --> 00:08:31,920 It's gone airborne, Morty. 384 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,220 Morty: oh, crap. 385 00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:34,149 What are we gonna do, Rick? 386 00:08:34,149 --> 00:08:34,149 Rick: it's gonna be fine, 387 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:35,685 Morty, relax. 388 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:36,919 I whipped up and antidote. 389 00:08:36,919 --> 00:08:37,750 It's based on praying-mantis 390 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,049 dna. 391 00:08:39,049 --> 00:08:40,019 You know, praying mantises are 392 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:40,019 the exact opposite of voles, 393 00:08:40,649 --> 00:08:41,384 Morty. 394 00:08:41,419 --> 00:08:42,419 I mean, they they mate once, 395 00:08:42,419 --> 00:08:43,389 and then they, you know, 396 00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:44,389 decapitate the partner. 397 00:08:44,389 --> 00:08:45,950 I mean, it's a whole ritual. 398 00:08:45,950 --> 00:08:47,049 It's really gruesome and totally 399 00:08:47,049 --> 00:08:47,049 opposite. 400 00:08:47,950 --> 00:08:49,055 There's no love at all. 401 00:08:49,090 --> 00:08:50,350 I-i-i basically mixed this with 402 00:08:50,350 --> 00:08:51,919 a more contagious flu virus. 403 00:08:51,919 --> 00:08:53,250 It should neutralize the whole 404 00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:54,490 thing, Morty. 405 00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,049 It'll all be over very shortly. 406 00:08:56,049 --> 00:08:57,450 [Indistinct shouting] 407 00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:02,254 uh, by the way, Morty, I know 408 00:09:02,289 --> 00:09:03,419 you didn't ask or anything, but 409 00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:04,190 I'm not interested in having sex 410 00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:05,120 with you. 411 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,049 These serums, they don't work on 412 00:09:06,049 --> 00:09:06,049 anybody related to you 413 00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,649 genetically. 414 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:10,549 Morty! 415 00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,549 [All groaning] 416 00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:22,919 Rick: okay, well, sometimes, 417 00:09:22,919 --> 00:09:23,919 science is more art than 418 00:09:23,919 --> 00:09:25,049 science, Morty. 419 00:09:25,049 --> 00:09:26,289 A lot of people don't get that. 420 00:09:34,289 --> 00:09:35,620 Jerry: [gasps] 421 00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:38,450 [tires screech] 422 00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:40,620 come on. Are you kidding me? 423 00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:41,549 Hello! 424 00:09:41,549 --> 00:09:43,590 Morty! 425 00:09:43,590 --> 00:09:44,690 You're not Morty! 426 00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:46,519 Bring us Morty! 427 00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:55,919 [Gun cocks] 428 00:09:55,919 --> 00:09:57,389 Jerry: nobody's killing me 429 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:58,789 until after I catch my wife with 430 00:09:58,789 --> 00:10:00,389 another man. 431 00:10:00,389 --> 00:10:02,220 I had sex with billy. 432 00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:03,090 But you were already 433 00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:04,049 pregnant! 434 00:10:04,049 --> 00:10:05,090 Yeah, so what's the worst 435 00:10:05,090 --> 00:10:06,220 that could happen? 436 00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:07,690 We interrupt "pregnant baby" 437 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,820 with breaking news. 438 00:10:08,820 --> 00:10:10,320 Summer: [groans] come on. 439 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,019 This just in Morty smith's 440 00:10:12,019 --> 00:10:13,389 whereabouts are still unknown. 441 00:10:13,389 --> 00:10:14,519 Summer: what the hell? 442 00:10:14,519 --> 00:10:15,720 The only thing that is known 443 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,250 is... how cute he is. 444 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,090 I love him so much, I want to 445 00:10:19,090 --> 00:10:20,549 make love to him and then eat 446 00:10:20,549 --> 00:10:21,490 his head. 447 00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,950 I love him more than you do, 448 00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,019 harold! 449 00:10:24,019 --> 00:10:25,590 You wish, you stupid bitch! 450 00:10:25,590 --> 00:10:26,620 Morty's mine! 451 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:27,789 Morty's mine! 452 00:10:27,789 --> 00:10:28,990 Meant to be together! 453 00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:30,549 [Speaking arabic] 454 00:10:30,549 --> 00:10:31,720 Morty! 455 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,919 [Speaking arabic] 456 00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:38,220 [banging on door] 457 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,990 where is Morty? 458 00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:42,549 Summer: [screams] 459 00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:52,649 [conversing in native 460 00:10:52,649 --> 00:10:53,490 language] 461 00:10:53,490 --> 00:10:55,250 Morty: oh, my god, Rick. 462 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:56,549 The whole world is infected! 463 00:10:56,549 --> 00:10:57,919 Rick: yeah, it's pretty wild 464 00:10:57,919 --> 00:10:59,049 how fast that spread. 465 00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:00,190 I've really outdone myself. 466 00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:01,389 Morty: outdone yourself?! 467 00:11:01,389 --> 00:11:02,049 W-w a-are are you kidding 468 00:11:02,049 --> 00:11:03,049 me, Rick? 469 00:11:03,049 --> 00:11:04,220 This is not okay! 470 00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:05,350 Not only do they all want to 471 00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:06,419 have sex with me, but, you know, 472 00:11:06,419 --> 00:11:07,190 now they want to eat me 473 00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:08,120 afterwards! 474 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,049 Rick: yeah, I don't know what 475 00:11:09,049 --> 00:11:10,120 i was thinking. 476 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:10,120 Mantises are they opposite of 477 00:11:10,950 --> 00:11:11,785 voles? 478 00:11:11,820 --> 00:11:13,019 I mean, obviously, dna's a 479 00:11:13,019 --> 00:11:13,019 little more complicated than 480 00:11:13,889 --> 00:11:14,785 that. 481 00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:15,990 You know what, though, Morty? 482 00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:16,850 This right here's gonna do the 483 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:17,690 tRick, baby. 484 00:11:17,690 --> 00:11:18,789 It's koala mixed with 485 00:11:18,789 --> 00:11:20,850 rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus, 486 00:11:20,850 --> 00:11:22,789 shark, golden retriever, and 487 00:11:22,789 --> 00:11:24,419 just a smidge of dinosaur. 488 00:11:24,419 --> 00:11:25,120 Should add up to normal 489 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:25,120 humanity. 490 00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:26,955 Morty: I don't that 491 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,090 doesn't make any sense, Rick. 492 00:11:28,090 --> 00:11:28,090 How does that add up to normal 493 00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:29,884 humanity? 494 00:11:29,919 --> 00:11:30,889 Morty: what, Morty, you want 495 00:11:30,889 --> 00:11:31,820 me to show you my math? 496 00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:32,820 I'm sorry a-are you the 497 00:11:32,820 --> 00:11:33,750 scientist or are you the kid 498 00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:34,789 that wanted to get laid? 499 00:11:37,149 --> 00:11:38,250 [Exhales deeply] 500 00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:39,720 well, I'm glad we saved all 501 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:40,919 those horses, but I'm almost 502 00:11:40,919 --> 00:11:42,120 sorry we're finished. 503 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,090 Beth: yes, it's satisfying 504 00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:43,090 work. 505 00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:45,240 Unh-unh-unh, it's, uh 506 00:11:45,190 --> 00:11:46,490 it's more than the work. 507 00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,820 I love being in that sterilized 508 00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:50,990 room, sealed off from the world. 509 00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:51,750 It's the only time I can really 510 00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:53,289 think... and feel. 511 00:11:53,289 --> 00:11:54,320 [Slow music plays] 512 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,820 Beth: hmm, uh, what are you 513 00:11:55,820 --> 00:11:56,850 doing? 514 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,019 I'm playing african dream 515 00:11:58,019 --> 00:11:59,120 pop. 516 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:00,389 What do youdo after a long 517 00:12:00,389 --> 00:12:00,389 night? 518 00:12:00,919 --> 00:12:02,450 [Click] 519 00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:04,149 Beth: oh, ha, um, hey, I b 520 00:12:04,149 --> 00:12:05,289 I'd better get going. 521 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,750 Um, Jerry's been texting some 522 00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:07,690 pretty high-maintenance stuff. 523 00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:08,490 Beth... 524 00:12:08,490 --> 00:12:09,450 Beth: what is it, davin? 525 00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:11,620 Just once, I'd like to 526 00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:12,620 know 527 00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:13,950 [sneezes] 528 00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:15,690 ...w-w-what it was like to give 529 00:12:15,690 --> 00:12:16,850 your son a bath. 530 00:12:16,850 --> 00:12:18,250 Beth: what?! 531 00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:20,820 What does Morty's skin smell 532 00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:21,789 like? 533 00:12:21,789 --> 00:12:23,090 How soft... 534 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,350 [grunts] 535 00:12:24,350 --> 00:12:26,789 how soft are his privates? 536 00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,389 Beth: let go of me, davin! 537 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,190 [Glass shatters] 538 00:12:31,190 --> 00:12:34,649 [roars] 539 00:12:34,649 --> 00:12:36,850 take me to Morty. 540 00:12:36,850 --> 00:12:37,850 Jerry: [grunts] 541 00:12:37,850 --> 00:12:39,620 you're not Morty. 542 00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:40,850 Jerry: no. 543 00:12:40,850 --> 00:12:43,789 I'm mr. Crowbar, and this is 544 00:12:43,789 --> 00:12:45,889 my friend, who is also a 545 00:12:45,889 --> 00:12:47,190 crowbar. 546 00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:49,090 That's... stupid. 547 00:12:49,090 --> 00:12:51,690 Jerry: [grunting] 548 00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:53,120 yeah? 549 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,019 Well, look where being smart got 550 00:12:54,019 --> 00:12:54,019 you. 551 00:12:54,850 --> 00:12:56,649 Beth: Jerry! Thank god! 552 00:12:56,649 --> 00:12:57,950 Jerry: god? 553 00:12:57,950 --> 00:12:59,919 God's turning people into insect 554 00:12:59,919 --> 00:13:01,320 monsters, Beth. 555 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,649 I'm the one beating them to 556 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:03,190 death. 557 00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:04,220 Thank me. 558 00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:05,620 Beth: thank you, Jerry. 559 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:08,720 Thank you. 560 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,635 Rick: take a good look down 561 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:13,950 there, Morty, and soak it in, 562 00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:15,149 because, you know, once I pull 563 00:13:15,149 --> 00:13:15,149 this lever, it's all back to 564 00:13:15,990 --> 00:13:16,854 normal. 565 00:13:16,889 --> 00:13:18,090 Morty: just do it already. 566 00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:19,149 Rick: well, technically, 567 00:13:19,149 --> 00:13:20,250 Morty, there's no rush. 568 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:21,250 I mean, you know, o-once it's 569 00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:22,019 fixed, it's done. 570 00:13:22,019 --> 00:13:22,019 It's fixed. 571 00:13:22,990 --> 00:13:24,454 You know, we could we could 572 00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:25,919 just enjoy it for a little bit. 573 00:13:25,919 --> 00:13:26,750 I mean, l-l-l-look at how crazy 574 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:27,450 it is. 575 00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:28,789 I mean, Morty, w-w-when's the 576 00:13:28,789 --> 00:13:29,789 next time you're gonna see 577 00:13:29,789 --> 00:13:30,889 something like this? 578 00:13:30,889 --> 00:13:31,990 I mean, soak it in, you know? 579 00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:32,850 It's it's pretty neat. 580 00:13:32,850 --> 00:13:33,789 It's pretty interesting. 581 00:13:33,789 --> 00:13:34,649 Morty: that's it, Rick! 582 00:13:34,649 --> 00:13:35,090 I'm pulling the lever. 583 00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:36,220 [Grunts] 584 00:13:42,919 --> 00:13:43,490 Rick: w-what do we have here, 585 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,220 Morty? 586 00:13:44,220 --> 00:13:45,120 Looks like I was right and you 587 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:46,049 were wrong, huh? 588 00:13:46,049 --> 00:13:47,120 I-i-i-i-i-i-i bet you feel 589 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:47,120 pretty stupid right about now, 590 00:13:47,950 --> 00:13:48,785 huh? 591 00:13:48,820 --> 00:13:50,019 I-i-i bet you feel like the 592 00:13:50,019 --> 00:13:51,220 world's smallest man that you 593 00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:52,250 were doubting me about this 594 00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:53,389 whole thing, Morty. 595 00:13:53,389 --> 00:13:54,490 Morty: oh, Rick, something's 596 00:13:54,490 --> 00:13:55,090 not right. 597 00:13:55,090 --> 00:13:55,090 Rick: [sighs] 598 00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:56,854 yeah, you. 599 00:13:56,889 --> 00:13:57,919 You're not right ever. 600 00:13:57,919 --> 00:13:58,820 Morty: no, no! 601 00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:00,019 Look, you idiot! 602 00:14:00,019 --> 00:14:01,350 [All screaming] 603 00:14:12,049 --> 00:14:14,120 [all speaking native language] 604 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,850 [all groaning] 605 00:14:20,649 --> 00:14:24,389 [all ululating] 606 00:14:24,389 --> 00:14:25,120 Rick: bet you're loving this, 607 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,190 Morty. 608 00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:27,450 This must be the best day of 609 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,220 your life. 610 00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:29,549 You get to be the mayor of 611 00:14:29,549 --> 00:14:30,889 i told you town. 612 00:14:30,889 --> 00:14:32,049 [Slurps] 613 00:14:32,049 --> 00:14:32,049 you're welcome. 614 00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:33,720 [Slurps] 615 00:14:42,889 --> 00:14:43,939 Jerry: hold on. 616 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:44,990 Beth: [whimpers] 617 00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:47,590 [engine revs, tires squeal] 618 00:15:02,090 --> 00:15:03,519 [gun cocks] 619 00:15:03,519 --> 00:15:04,789 Jerry: I wish that shotgun 620 00:15:04,789 --> 00:15:05,889 was my penis. 621 00:15:05,889 --> 00:15:07,190 Beth: if it were, you could 622 00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:08,889 call me ernest hemingway. 623 00:15:08,889 --> 00:15:10,250 Jerry: I don't get it, and i 624 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:11,250 don't need to. 625 00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:12,320 [Both moaning] 626 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,250 Summer: mom! Dad! 627 00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:16,820 Both: Summer! 628 00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:18,090 Beth: [sighs] 629 00:15:18,090 --> 00:15:19,289 Jerry: where's Morty? 630 00:15:19,289 --> 00:15:20,789 Summer: I don't know. 631 00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:21,820 Do you think grandpa Rick had 632 00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:22,850 something to do with this? 633 00:15:22,850 --> 00:15:23,789 Jerry: it's not fair to 634 00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:24,649 assume that, Summer. 635 00:15:24,649 --> 00:15:25,289 Beth: oh, not fair? 636 00:15:25,289 --> 00:15:26,820 Give me a break. 637 00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:28,720 He is a selfish, irresponsible 638 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,389 ass, and he left my mother. 639 00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:32,990 A real man stands by his woman. 640 00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:37,889 [Both moaning] 641 00:15:37,889 --> 00:15:39,190 Summer: tchoo. 642 00:15:39,190 --> 00:15:40,950 Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo. 643 00:15:40,950 --> 00:15:42,120 Rick: boy, Morty, I really 644 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:42,120 cronenberged the world up, 645 00:15:42,990 --> 00:15:43,815 didn't i? 646 00:15:43,850 --> 00:15:45,090 We got a whole planet of 647 00:15:45,090 --> 00:15:46,090 cronenbergs walking around down 648 00:15:46,090 --> 00:15:47,090 there, Morty. 649 00:15:47,090 --> 00:15:48,120 A-at least they're not in love 650 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:49,220 with you anymore, though. 651 00:15:49,220 --> 00:15:50,019 That's a huge step in the right 652 00:15:50,019 --> 00:15:50,019 direction. 653 00:15:50,820 --> 00:15:51,905 Morty: oh, my god! 654 00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:52,990 It's a living nightmare! 655 00:15:52,990 --> 00:15:54,120 How could you be so 656 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,389 irresponsible, Rick? 657 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,049 Rick: me irresponsible?! 658 00:15:57,049 --> 00:15:58,289 You all I wanted you to do 659 00:15:58,289 --> 00:15:59,120 was hand me a screwdriver, 660 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,049 Morty! 661 00:16:00,049 --> 00:16:01,320 You're the one who wanted to 662 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,889 be wanted me to buckle down 663 00:16:02,889 --> 00:16:05,019 and make you up a... roofie-juice 664 00:16:05,019 --> 00:16:06,850 serum so you could roofie that 665 00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:08,350 poor girl at your school. 666 00:16:08,350 --> 00:16:10,190 I mean, g w-w-w-w-w w 667 00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:11,389 are you kidding me, Morty? 668 00:16:11,389 --> 00:16:12,350 You're gonna try to take the 669 00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:13,419 high road on this one? 670 00:16:13,419 --> 00:16:14,019 Y-y-y-y-you're a little creep, 671 00:16:14,019 --> 00:16:14,019 Morty. 672 00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:15,850 Y-you're a you're 673 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:16,820 you're you're just a little 674 00:16:16,820 --> 00:16:17,789 creepy... creep person. 675 00:16:17,789 --> 00:16:18,850 Morty: all right, fine. 676 00:16:18,850 --> 00:16:19,990 I should have just listened to 677 00:16:19,990 --> 00:16:20,690 you when you refused to make the 678 00:16:20,690 --> 00:16:21,450 serum. 679 00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:22,720 I'm willing to accept my part of 680 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,750 the blame for this, Rick. 681 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:24,590 But I'll tell you something 682 00:16:24,590 --> 00:16:25,350 you know what? 683 00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:26,519 You got to accept your part of 684 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:27,320 the blame! 685 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,450 I'm not the one who fouled up 686 00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:29,250 the serum! 687 00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:30,490 I'm not the one who who 688 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,950 who who haphazardly, you 689 00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,289 know, mixed a bunch of nonsense 690 00:16:33,289 --> 00:16:34,490 together and created a bunch of 691 00:16:34,490 --> 00:16:35,250 cronenbergs! 692 00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:36,320 You got to fix this, Rick! 693 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:36,320 Morty: all right, all right, 694 00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:37,815 Morty. 695 00:16:37,850 --> 00:16:38,919 You know, w-w-w-we are in a 696 00:16:38,919 --> 00:16:40,289 pretty deep hole, here, but I do 697 00:16:40,289 --> 00:16:41,820 have one emergency solution that 698 00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:43,049 i can use that'll kind of put 699 00:16:43,049 --> 00:16:44,120 everything back to normal, 700 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,320 relatively speaking. 701 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,820 Here, Morty, put this on while i 702 00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:48,620 do a little bit of scouting. 703 00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:53,389 [Birds chirping] 704 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,919 Morty: wow, Rick, I got to 705 00:17:02,919 --> 00:17:04,190 say you really pulled a 706 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,089 rabbit out of your hat this 707 00:17:05,089 --> 00:17:06,049 time. 708 00:17:06,049 --> 00:17:07,390 I mean, i-i really thought that 709 00:17:07,390 --> 00:17:08,950 the whole place was gonna be 710 00:17:08,950 --> 00:17:10,319 messed up for good, but here, 711 00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:11,819 you did it y-y-you you 712 00:17:11,819 --> 00:17:13,119 you figured out that crazy 713 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,049 solution, like you always do. 714 00:17:14,049 --> 00:17:14,049 Whoo! 715 00:17:14,890 --> 00:17:16,070 That's some great luck. 716 00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:17,250 Rick: come on, Morty. 717 00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:18,450 Luck had nothing to do with it. 718 00:17:18,450 --> 00:17:19,190 I'm great. 719 00:17:19,190 --> 00:17:21,789 That's the real reason. 720 00:17:21,789 --> 00:17:22,720 Now, Morty, what do you say, 721 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:23,450 buddy? 722 00:17:23,450 --> 00:17:25,019 Will you hand me a screwdriver 723 00:17:25,019 --> 00:17:26,089 so I can finish my ionic dis 724 00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:27,089 defibulizer? 725 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,250 Morty: sure thing, Rick. 726 00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:29,390 Here's a screwdriver. 727 00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:30,750 Rick: all right, Morty. 728 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,990 Thank you very much. 729 00:17:31,990 --> 00:17:34,119 We got one screw turn... and two 730 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,890 screw turns... and... 731 00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,369 all right, Morty, here we are. 732 00:17:42,450 --> 00:17:43,789 Morty: oh, my god, Rick! 733 00:17:43,789 --> 00:17:44,890 Is that us?! 734 00:17:44,890 --> 00:17:45,990 W-w-w-we're dead! 735 00:17:45,990 --> 00:17:46,819 What is going on, Rick? 736 00:17:46,819 --> 00:17:47,750 I'm freaking out! 737 00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:48,819 Rick: calm down, Morty! 738 00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:49,950 Look at me! Calm down, Morty! 739 00:17:49,950 --> 00:17:50,690 Morty: no, I can't deal with 740 00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:51,420 this! 741 00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:52,490 Rick: calm yourself, Morty. 742 00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:53,450 Morty: I can't deal with 743 00:17:53,450 --> 00:17:54,089 this, Rick! 744 00:17:54,089 --> 00:17:55,150 Rick: calm down, Morty. 745 00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:56,220 Morty: this can't be real! 746 00:17:56,220 --> 00:17:56,220 Rick: you got to calm down, 747 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:57,814 Morty. 748 00:17:57,849 --> 00:17:58,450 Morty: w-w-w-w-we're ripped 749 00:17:58,450 --> 00:17:59,190 apart! 750 00:17:59,190 --> 00:17:59,190 Rick: shut up and listen to 751 00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:00,855 me! 752 00:18:00,890 --> 00:18:02,220 It's fine. Everything is fine. 753 00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:03,420 There's an infinite number of 754 00:18:03,420 --> 00:18:04,920 realities, Morty, and in a few 755 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:06,089 dozen of those, I got lucky and 756 00:18:06,089 --> 00:18:06,089 turned everything back to 757 00:18:06,849 --> 00:18:07,784 normal. 758 00:18:07,819 --> 00:18:08,990 I just had to find one of those 759 00:18:08,990 --> 00:18:10,190 realities in which we also 760 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,019 happen to both die around this 761 00:18:11,019 --> 00:18:11,019 time. 762 00:18:11,950 --> 00:18:13,420 Now we can just slip into the 763 00:18:13,319 --> 00:18:14,890 place of our dead selves in this 764 00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:15,849 reality and everything will be 765 00:18:15,849 --> 00:18:16,720 fine. 766 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:17,519 We're not skipping a beat, 767 00:18:17,519 --> 00:18:18,289 Morty. 768 00:18:18,289 --> 00:18:19,289 Now, help me with these bodies. 769 00:18:19,289 --> 00:18:20,349 Morty: this is insane. 770 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:21,450 Rick: look, Morty, I'll grab 771 00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:22,789 myself, you grab yourself, okay? 772 00:18:22,789 --> 00:18:23,990 I mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to 773 00:18:23,990 --> 00:18:25,049 me I mean, that seems like a 774 00:18:25,049 --> 00:18:26,150 fair way to divvy it up. 775 00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:27,190 Morty: Rick, what about the 776 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,289 reality we left behind? 777 00:18:28,289 --> 00:18:29,390 Rick: what about the reality 778 00:18:29,390 --> 00:18:30,089 where hitler cured cancer, 779 00:18:30,089 --> 00:18:31,019 Morty? 780 00:18:31,019 --> 00:18:31,019 The answer is don't think about 781 00:18:31,750 --> 00:18:32,455 it. 782 00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:33,690 It's not like we can do this 783 00:18:33,690 --> 00:18:34,720 every week, anyways. 784 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:35,589 We get three or four more of 785 00:18:35,589 --> 00:18:36,390 these, tops. 786 00:18:36,390 --> 00:18:37,420 Now, pick up your dead self and 787 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:37,420 come on. 788 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,215 Haste makes waste. 789 00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:40,450 I-i-i don't suppose you've 790 00:18:40,450 --> 00:18:41,849 considered this detail, but 791 00:18:41,849 --> 00:18:43,220 obviously, if I hadn't screwed 792 00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:44,819 up as much as I did, we'd be 793 00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,019 these guys right now, so, again, 794 00:18:46,019 --> 00:18:47,549 you're welcome. 795 00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:54,650 ♪ ♪ look on down from the 796 00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:58,190 bridge ♪ ♪ 797 00:18:58,190 --> 00:19:03,490 ♪ ♪ there's still fountains down 798 00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:08,289 there ♪ ♪ 799 00:19:08,289 --> 00:19:14,119 ♪ ♪ look on down from the bridge ♪ ♪ 800 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:24,049 ♪ ♪ it's still raining up here ♪ ♪ 801 00:19:24,049 --> 00:19:28,220 ♪ ♪ everybody seems so far away 802 00:19:28,220 --> 00:19:31,920 from me ♪ ♪ 803 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:36,720 ♪ ♪ everybody just wants to be 804 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,789 free ♪ ♪ 805 00:19:39,789 --> 00:19:44,754 ♪ ♪ look away from the sky ♪ ♪ 806 00:19:45,819 --> 00:19:49,720 ♪ ♪ it's no different when you're 807 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,849 leaving home ♪ ♪ 808 00:19:54,589 --> 00:19:59,089 ♪ ♪ I can't be the same thing to 809 00:19:59,089 --> 00:20:01,289 you now ♪ ♪ 810 00:20:01,289 --> 00:20:05,220 ♪ ♪ I'm just gone ♪ ♪ 811 00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:11,150 ♪ ♪ just gone ♪ ♪ 812 00:20:11,150 --> 00:20:22,690 ♪ ♪ how could I say goodbye? ♪ ♪ 813 00:20:19,150 --> 00:20:22,690 ♪ ♪ how could I say goodbye? ♪ ♪ 814 00:20:23,319 --> 00:20:25,250 Summer: you know, the thing 815 00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:26,950 about a shark... 816 00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:29,549 he's got lifeless eyes... 817 00:20:29,549 --> 00:20:31,549 black eyes, like a doll's eyes. 818 00:20:31,549 --> 00:20:33,250 When he comes at ya, he doesn't 819 00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:34,950 seem to be living until he bites 820 00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:36,420 ya, and then the the blood, 821 00:20:36,420 --> 00:20:37,890 and the red, and the water... 822 00:20:37,890 --> 00:20:39,150 Jerry: [sighs] 823 00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:40,049 you ever wonder what happened to 824 00:20:40,049 --> 00:20:41,190 Rick and Morty? 825 00:20:41,190 --> 00:20:42,819 Beth: sometimes. 826 00:20:42,819 --> 00:20:44,319 But, I'm ashamed to admit, now 827 00:20:44,319 --> 00:20:46,619 that they're gone, I'm finally 828 00:20:46,619 --> 00:20:49,390 happy. 829 00:20:49,390 --> 00:20:50,519 Rick: here we are, 830 00:20:50,519 --> 00:20:52,019 cronenberg Morty a reality 831 00:20:52,019 --> 00:20:53,220 where everyone in the world got 832 00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:54,250 genetically cronenberged. 833 00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:55,190 We'll fit right in, 834 00:20:55,190 --> 00:20:56,289 cronenberg Morty. 835 00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,289 It'll be like we never even left 836 00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:58,349 cronenberg world. 837 00:20:58,349 --> 00:20:59,750 Morty: yeah, cronenberg Rick, 838 00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:00,849 but, you know, I'm gonna miss 839 00:21:00,849 --> 00:21:01,950 cronenberg world, because 840 00:21:01,950 --> 00:21:02,990 everyone was cronenberged all 841 00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:03,920 along like us from the 842 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:04,920 beginning, you know? 843 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,150 I mean, i-i wish we hadn't 844 00:21:06,150 --> 00:21:07,420 genetically ruined cronenberg 845 00:21:07,420 --> 00:21:08,920 world beyond repair like we did, 846 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,220 you know, and turned everyone 847 00:21:10,220 --> 00:21:11,289 into regular, normal people just 848 00:21:11,289 --> 00:21:12,349 walking around. 849 00:21:12,349 --> 00:21:13,650 Rick: don't you worry about 850 00:21:13,650 --> 00:21:14,589 that sort of thing, 851 00:21:14,589 --> 00:21:15,549 cronenberg Morty. 852 00:21:15,549 --> 00:21:16,619 Let's go make ourselves at home, 853 00:21:16,619 --> 00:21:20,650 huh? 853 00:21:21,305 --> 00:21:27,832 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org