1 00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:06,205 - So, dad, guess what tomorrow is. - Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. 2 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,306 No. 3 00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,042 - Well, it... might be. - It is. 4 00:00:09,067 --> 00:00:13,912 Fine. But also, tomorrow is your one-year anniversary back in our lives. 5 00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:16,114 I'm gonna make you flying-saucer-shaped pancakes. 6 00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:17,830 Oh, t-t-there's no need to do that, Beth. 7 00:00:17,855 --> 00:00:19,477 Regular pancakes are fine. 8 00:00:23,554 --> 00:00:25,524 Oh, my God! 9 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,826 Oh, what is happening?! 10 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:35,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 11 00:00:53,751 --> 00:00:59,751 Sync & corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com 12 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,897 - Happy anniversary, dad. - Oh, I get it. 13 00:01:03,999 --> 00:01:07,398 Regular pancakes are already shaped like flying saucers. 14 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,597 I-I should be making you breakfast for putting up with me. 15 00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:12,214 You should be making us a whole restaurant. 16 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:15,040 Nonsense. We couldn't be happier to have you around. 17 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,975 I just wish I got to see more of you. 18 00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:21,447 Rick Sanchez of earth dimension C-137, 19 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:22,981 you are under arrest for crimes against 20 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,445 alternate Ricks by the authority 21 00:01:24,470 --> 00:01:27,152 of the trans-dimensional council of Ricks. 22 00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:29,186 - Hey! What the heck?! - Neutralize the Jerry. 23 00:01:29,188 --> 00:01:30,122 Wait! No! I'll -- 24 00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:30,856 Dad! 25 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,357 - Dad! - Rick! 26 00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:33,492 Everybody, relax. 27 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,828 If I know these a-holes, and I am these a-holes, 28 00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,262 they just want to haul me to their stupid 29 00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,498 clubhouse and waste my time with a bunch of questions. 30 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,499 Let's get it over with. 31 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:41,467 Bring his Morty. 32 00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,936 - Oh, man. - Leave my Morty out of this. 33 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:46,371 You lost the right to have a say in these things when you 34 00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:47,940 refused to j-- join the council. 35 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,341 W-w-w-what about Jerry? 36 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:52,278 Will you at least unfreeze my daughter's idiot? 37 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,680 ...Give you anything! 38 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:56,482 I have a rare antique-coin collection! 39 00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,950 Just don't hurt me! 40 00:01:59,952 --> 00:02:03,089 Okay, maybe not antique, but it was a limited minting. 41 00:02:03,091 --> 00:02:05,090 They have little R2-D2s instead of George Washington. 42 00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:08,560 - Our son's been abducted! - You hate me for buying those coins! 43 00:02:11,362 --> 00:02:14,867 - Geez, Rick, w-what is this place? - The citadel of Ricks. 44 00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:17,936 It's the secret headquarters for the council of Ricks. 45 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,304 Council of Ricks? 46 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,206 As you know, Morty, I've got a lot of enemies 47 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,376 in the universe that consider my genius a threat -- 48 00:02:23,378 --> 00:02:26,177 galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators, 49 00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:28,012 most of the entire intergalactic government. 50 00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:29,882 Wherever you find people with heads up their asses, 51 00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:31,350 someone wants a piece of your grandpa, 52 00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,052 and a lot of versions of me on different timelines had 53 00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:36,889 the same problem, so a few thousand versions of me had the 54 00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:39,758 ingenious idea of banding together 55 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,860 like a herd of cattle or a school of fish or those 56 00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:44,295 people who answer questions on yahoo! Answers. 57 00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:46,631 Hey! What do you know? It's a cowboy version of me. 58 00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,100 Geez, you're easy to impress. 59 00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:50,836 Yeah, most timelines have a Rick, and most Ricks have a Morty. 60 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,372 This place is a real who's who of who's you and me. 61 00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:57,576 Turn your boring, old Morty into a-- hot fashion statement 62 00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,077 with some Morty dazzlers. 63 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,679 Hey, check this out. 64 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:01,680 Show me the Morty. 65 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:02,447 Dumb. 66 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,416 Excuse me, sir, is your Morty insured? 67 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,785 You know, every year, hundreds of Mortys are injured -- 68 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:07,719 Back off! 69 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,087 Not my cup of tea, this place. 70 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,590 I say the point of being a Rick is being a Rick. 71 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:15,505 Save your anti-Rick speech for the council of Ricks, terror-Rick. 72 00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:18,764 Hey, save your Rick rules for the sheep-Ricks, Rick-pig. 73 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,732 - [beep] me, pal. - [beep] you? 74 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,135 No, no, no, no, no. [beep] me. 75 00:03:34,611 --> 00:03:37,111 Bring up the holograms. 76 00:03:37,937 --> 00:03:42,254 27 Ricks brutally murdered in their own timelines-- 77 00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:45,457 an unprecedented Rick-icidal epidemic. 78 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:48,426 What say you, earth Rick C-137? 79 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:49,728 You think I did this? 80 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,631 Why am I the first Rick you pull in every time a Rick stubs his toe? 81 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:56,397 You have a history of non-cooperation with the council. 82 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,800 Yeah, so does the scientist formerly known as Rick. 83 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,806 W-w-w-w-w-why isn't he here in handcuffs? 84 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,375 Because he's dead, too! 85 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,811 Who else would you have us question? 86 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,979 You fit the profile. 87 00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:09,615 Of all the Ricks in the central finite curve, 88 00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:12,317 you're the malcontent, the rogue. 89 00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,218 I'm the Rick, 90 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:16,554 and so were the rest of you before you formed this stupid alliance. 91 00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:18,056 You wanted to be safe from the government, 92 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,758 so you became a stupid government. 93 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,793 That makes every Rick here less Rick than me. 94 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,796 Yeah, murmur it up, d-bags. 95 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:25,964 Now, if you'll excuse me, 96 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,000 I've got pancakes back home with syrup on top of them. 97 00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,002 They're about to hit that critical point of syrup 98 00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:32,671 absorption that turns the cakes into a gross paste, 99 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:33,872 and I hate to get all Andy Rooney about it, 100 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:37,175 but I think we all like Fluffy disks of cake with syrup on top, 101 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:41,179 and I think we also like to be accused of crimes when there's evidence! 102 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,949 So, as they say in Canada, peace oot! 103 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,151 Evidence! Good idea. 104 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,919 Scan his portal gun! 105 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,187 Oh, come on. 106 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,456 Don't look at another man's portal-gun history. 107 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,692 We -- we all go to weird places. 108 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,195 Yes, but it appears you alone have been going to the exact 109 00:04:57,197 --> 00:05:00,899 timelines and locations in which the murders occurred. 110 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,035 What?! That's Rick-diculous! 111 00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:04,569 I'm obviously being set up. 112 00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:07,039 Earth Rick C-137, the council 113 00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:11,043 of Ricks sentences you to the machine of unspeakable doom, 114 00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:14,012 which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, 115 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,647 rendering your fantasies pointless while 116 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,884 everything you've known becomes impossible to grasp. 117 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:21,520 Also, every 10 seconds, it stabs your balls. 118 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,389 I've heard enough. 119 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,459 Run, Morty! 120 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:28,760 Unh-unh. Not you. 121 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,664 Aaaah! 122 00:05:34,489 --> 00:05:35,489 No! 123 00:05:54,619 --> 00:05:55,921 Oh! Oh! 124 00:05:59,023 --> 00:06:02,660 Yeah, I'd like to order one large person with extra people, please. 125 00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:04,529 White people. No, no, no, no. Black people. 126 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,131 And hispanic on half. 127 00:06:17,635 --> 00:06:21,346 Yes, I'd like to order one large sofa chair with extra chair, please. 128 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,315 High chair. No, no, no, no. Recliner. 129 00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:25,283 And wheelchair on half. 130 00:06:36,857 --> 00:06:39,431 They could have gone into any one of these. 131 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,299 - Son of a... - Oh, geez. 132 00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:42,968 - Oh, man! - We lost 'em. 133 00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:46,104 Yeah, I'd like to order one large phone with extra phones, please. 134 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,773 Cellphone. No, no, no, no. Rotary. 135 00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:49,675 And pay phone on half. 136 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,778 That'll keep 'em busy for a while. 137 00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:58,016 Those guys were wrong, right? 138 00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,917 Y-y-y-you-- you wouldn't kill yourself -- yourselves. 139 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,187 Of course not, Morty. How could that profit me? 140 00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,855 But someone out there is killing Ricks, 141 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,690 and the council ain't gonna stop thinking it's me 142 00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:08,559 until we clear our names -- by finding the real Rick-killer. 143 00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:09,728 I'm scared, Rick. 144 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,296 Maybe we should go home and stockpile weapons, 145 00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,898 like that show "doomsday preppers". 146 00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:14,332 Not really my style, Morty. 147 00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:17,264 Besides, your home is most likely swarming with Ricks by now. 148 00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:21,463 All right, listen, Jerry. If Rick calls, 149 00:07:21,488 --> 00:07:24,208 this device is gonna trace his location. 150 00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:27,112 You just got to keep him on the phone for 30 seconds or longer. 151 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,146 Who wants lemonade? 152 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,614 Oh, yeah. 153 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,517 Mmm! Oh! Delicious! 154 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,019 Beth you're a treasure. 155 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:37,355 I have a Beth just like you in my reality, except you know what? 156 00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,225 She's not as brilliant or attractive. 157 00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:43,328 Aw. Thank you. 158 00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,263 Oh! She did! She did it! 159 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,379 H-hello? 160 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:54,339 - Hey, Jerry, it's Rick. - Rick! Hey. 161 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:55,207 What's -- what's up? 162 00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:58,242 So, listen, the heat's on, and there's nowhere left to turn, 163 00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:01,475 so Morty and I are just gonna fly my spaceship into a black hole. 164 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,681 - What?! - Is that cool with you, dawg? 165 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:03,515 Rick, no! 166 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,050 - Morty!! - We got it. 167 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,384 The call's coming from... 168 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,386 ♪ inside the house ♪ 169 00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,055 Look at his face! You dummy! 170 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,224 Can't believe our daughter married you. 171 00:08:12,226 --> 00:08:13,258 Too easy! 172 00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:17,028 The Ricks are probably gonna waste some time messing with Jerry. 173 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,230 They won't be able to help themselves. 174 00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,098 But as soon as they get bored, they'll be onto us. 175 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:23,501 Phones à la clams and phonesghetti with phone balls. 176 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,103 - Anything else? - Yeah, more phone sticks, please. 177 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,037 Right away, sir. 178 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,740 You know, Rick, when I first saw all those Ricks and Mortys, 179 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,076 I thought, "Gee, that kind of devalues our bond". 180 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,945 But then I realized it just means that our relationship must 181 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,814 be pretty special to span over all those different timelines. 182 00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,049 Yeah, it's got to be that way. 183 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,685 - You're a camouflage. - Camouflage? 184 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,187 What are you talking about, Rick? 185 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,357 Ricks have a very distinctive and traceable brain wave due to our genius. 186 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:47,926 The best way to hide from an enemy's radar is to stand near 187 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,725 someone with complementary brain waves that make ours invisible. 188 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,297 See, when a Rick is with a Morty, 189 00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:56,869 the genius waves get canceled out by the, uh... 190 00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,039 ...Morty waves. 191 00:08:59,041 --> 00:09:02,508 Um... Because o-our personalities are so different? 192 00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:04,276 Oh, shit, dawg. 193 00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:06,345 My portal gun was hacked remotely, Morty-- 194 00:09:06,347 --> 00:09:08,379 obviously by the real killer, to frame me. 195 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,914 But I was able to trace the signal. 196 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,249 Come on. Let's go. 197 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,285 - Uh-oh. - Excuse me. 198 00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:15,320 We've tracked a pair of dangerous criminals to this exact location. 199 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:18,089 They look exactly like us, so in order to avoid confusion, 200 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,091 I'm gonna mark us each with a red "X" right now. 201 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,794 That way, if someone has a gun and we both tell you to shoot 202 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:25,797 the other one because they're the evil one, you'll know who's lying. 203 00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,800 Hey, check it out. 204 00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:30,068 Damn it! 205 00:09:32,470 --> 00:09:35,941 - Hey, you didn't pay your bill! - The red "X"! Red "X"! 206 00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:38,609 Hey, it's a good thing that space outlet had lab coats 207 00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:40,511 and your favorite kind of shirt in stock, huh, Morty? 208 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,147 Yeah, Rick, I-I heard you the first time. 209 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,815 You don't have to keep saying it over and over. 210 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,784 Man, this place is way off the grid. 211 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,152 This guy does not want to be found. 212 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,320 Well, if he's a Rick, 213 00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:50,288 doesn't he just have to stand by a Morty to hide? 214 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,490 I mean, isn't that what Mortys are -- human cloaking devices? 215 00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:55,927 Morty, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is. 216 00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:58,930 Oh, my God, Rick, look! 217 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,366 There's a bunch of people strapped all over that building! 218 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:04,869 Not people, Morty -- Mortys. 219 00:10:11,107 --> 00:10:12,379 Oh, God! 220 00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:15,347 W-w-why would somebody do this? It's horrible! 221 00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:17,048 Well, one Morty's enough to hide from the bureaucrats, 222 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:19,050 but you get -- you get a whole matrix of Mortys and 223 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,218 put them in agonizing pain, 224 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,488 that creates a pattern that can hide even from other Ricks [beep]. 225 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,858 I fiddled with a concept like this once. 226 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,960 On paper, Morty. On paper. 227 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,162 I wouldn't do this. It's barbaric overkill. 228 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,397 I mean, you could accomplish the same result with, like, 229 00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,233 five Mortys and a jumper cable. 230 00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:38,778 Which I also wouldn't do! 231 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,206 I'm just saying, it's bad craftsmanship. 232 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,874 - Coffee time! - Yeah! 233 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:43,541 Yo, yo, yo, yo! 234 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,778 That's what I like to hear! 235 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,147 - Hi, Jerry. - Leave me alone. 236 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,081 I'm working. 237 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,049 Oh, you are? 238 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,051 W-w-w-what do you do? 239 00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,220 I-I'm -- I'm in between advertising jobs. 240 00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,188 Advertising? Wow! 241 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,423 So, people need help figuring 242 00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:00,525 out what to buy, and then y-y-you help 'em? 243 00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:03,424 Well, it's a little more complicated than that. 244 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,829 Well, I mean, you do it, 245 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,265 and you seem like a guy who really has it all together. 246 00:11:10,267 --> 00:11:14,072 Dude, are you -- w-- you're being a dick, right? 247 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,875 Oh, gosh, I-I hope not. I wouldn't want to offend you in any way. 248 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:19,411 You're really a Rick? 249 00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:22,881 Y-- of course I am -- just as much as my Morty's a Morty. 250 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:26,580 Hey, he looks a lot like Eric Stoltz from the movie "mask." 251 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,386 You know, the one with Cher in it? 252 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,421 That's right, Jerry! 253 00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:31,089 He -- he's from a reality where 254 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,191 everyone is Eric Stoltz "mask" people. 255 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,559 He's Eric Stoltz mask Morty. 256 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:36,227 They assigned him to me because 257 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,896 I never had any kids of my own. 258 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,397 But if I did, boy, I'd love them 259 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,932 if they were as smart and as 260 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,367 successful as you are, Jerry. 261 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,902 Hey, get a load of this. 262 00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,937 Jerry's hanging out with doofus Rick. 263 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,372 This is perfect. 264 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,940 I'm not doofus Rick! 265 00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:50,241 I'm Rick j19-zeta-7! 266 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,977 Oh, is that the timeline where everybody eats poop? 267 00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:55,146 Jerry, you know this guy eats poop, right? 268 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,414 Hey, I don't eat poop! 269 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,850 Y-you guys are always so mean to me. 270 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,421 I guess it's only fair to tell you now, Jerry. 271 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,989 I'm the worst Rick of them all. 272 00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,392 According to who -- other versions of you? 273 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,993 If I've learned one thing, 274 00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:10,928 it's that before you get anywhere in life, 275 00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:12,597 you got to stop listening to yourself. 276 00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,432 Wow. You really are wise, Jerry. 277 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,634 I-I-I guess that's why you work in advertising. 278 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:20,472 The fact that you feel that way makes you the best Rick of them all. 279 00:12:20,474 --> 00:12:22,640 You don't care about me at all! 280 00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:25,143 I'm no different than that jacket you've got on! 281 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,345 Y-y-y-- o-or your stupid portal gun! 282 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,246 I'm just a tool! 283 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,314 I-I-I'm just an object! 284 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:32,016 Hey, it's your choice to take it personally, Morty. 285 00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,618 Now, for the love of God, be quiet. 286 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,286 The point of this is to get the drop on the guy. 287 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,088 You know what, Rick? I'll tell you something! 288 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,289 I'm more than a human shield! 289 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,457 Yeah, that's right. 290 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,024 You are. 291 00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,460 You're a perfect, impenetrable suit of human armor, Morty, 292 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,662 because you're as dumb as I am 293 00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,430 smart, which is why when I say 294 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,432 "shut up," it's really good advice. 295 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,903 Great. Nice work, Morty. 296 00:13:04,505 --> 00:13:07,152 Ooh. Look at you, C-137. 297 00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,020 You -- aren't you a tough customer. 298 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,288 The slow clap? Really? 299 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,389 Kind of played out, dude. 300 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,191 Not in this dimension, it isn't. 301 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:14,959 In fact I invented it. 302 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,061 Nobody else has ever even done it here before. 303 00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,196 Well, la-di-da. 304 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,531 Hey, that's mine! 305 00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:27,038 I don't like the look of that Rick, Morty. 306 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,673 - We got to escape. - I'm not gonna help you, Rick. 307 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,875 - Y-you're a monster. - Don't be Rick-diculous, Morty. 308 00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:33,044 Will you -- will you stop saying that? 309 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:33,912 It's stupid. 310 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,313 Take his Morty away. 311 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,247 Come with me. 312 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:37,682 Yeah, gladly. 313 00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:40,018 Geez, man. Ricks, huh? 314 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,053 Hey, man, you seem to know how this place works. 315 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,255 Is there any way we could shut 316 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,890 down that grid and rescue all those Mortys outside? 317 00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:47,091 It would be pointless. 318 00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:50,261 Mortys have no chance of defeating a Rick. 319 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,396 In here. 320 00:14:00,533 --> 00:14:02,707 - Ah. Isn't it beautiful? - Yeah, yeah. 321 00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:05,109 Looks like payday at Neverland ranch in here. 322 00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:05,710 Zing! 323 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,414 - That guy got it. - Unh-unh-unh, Rick. Quiet. 324 00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,382 You're missing my symphony. 325 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:16,287 Hey, I'll take it over Mumford & Sons. 326 00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:17,055 Zip! 327 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:18,857 This guy is on it! 328 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,925 He's not laughing at your dumb jokes, Rick. 329 00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:24,295 That's just a random noise it makes every 10 seconds. 330 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:29,133 You see, Rick, you're not as clever as you think you are. 331 00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:30,435 I wanted you to find me. 332 00:14:30,705 --> 00:14:32,937 We're not so different, you and I. 333 00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,072 Yeah, duh! 334 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:35,773 See this right here, Rick? 335 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,975 I crunched the numbers. 336 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,143 I created a spectrum of all the Ricks. 337 00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,946 I listed them out from most evil to least evil. 338 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:42,981 Here's where I am. 339 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,750 And look it -- right here's where you are, Rick. 340 00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:47,385 This guy right here -- super-weird. 341 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,219 I get it. 342 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,387 So you want me to team up with 343 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,289 you to take down the council of Ricks, right? 344 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,957 Is that where you're going with this? 345 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:54,292 'Cause that's where I'd be going. 346 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:54,926 Please. 347 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:57,095 I think I'm doing pretty good on my own. 348 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,463 I'm simply gonna download the 349 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:02,333 contents of your brain and then kill you. 350 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,269 Okay, if we add a little more 351 00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:07,805 titanium nitrate and just a tad of chlorified tartrate... 352 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,276 ...Ovenless brownies! 353 00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,077 Mmm. Mmm! 354 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,312 It's incredible what a gifted 355 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,481 mind can accomplish when priorities are in order. 356 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:17,348 Well, come on. 357 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,150 I can't take all the credit, Jerry. 358 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,986 - It was your idea. - Come here, Jerry! 359 00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:27,759 Hey, uh, come here. 360 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,194 I-I want to show you something. 361 00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:32,896 Okay, look, everybody makes fun of me for getting these, 362 00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:34,299 but you're a genius scientist. 363 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:35,499 What do you think? See? 364 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:39,203 There's little R2-D2s where the George Washingtons should be. 365 00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:42,140 You know, Jerry, I'm not gonna tell you that these will 366 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,809 increase in value or even hold their current value. 367 00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:47,312 The truth is, you bought them because you like them. 368 00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,479 They have value to you. 369 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,348 That's what matters. 370 00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:56,421 - How long are you staying? - Until we find your Rick. 371 00:15:56,523 --> 00:16:00,423 I found mine. 372 00:16:02,494 --> 00:16:05,097 - Help! - There is no escape, my son. 373 00:16:05,099 --> 00:16:07,931 We will find our peace in the next world. 374 00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:10,001 So, what -- you're just gonna give up? 375 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:13,471 We're giving in -- to the power of the one true Morty. 376 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,139 One day, he will return. 377 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:18,610 Praise the one true Morty. 378 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,912 Ugh. 379 00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,847 All right, Mortys, listen up. 380 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:26,551 My name is Morty Smith, from earth dimension C-137. 381 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:29,087 I know you're scared, because I'm scared. 382 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,389 But that's no reason to accept our fate! 383 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:32,256 We're Mortys! 384 00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:35,026 We're not defined by our relationships to Rick! 385 00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,328 Our destiny is our own! 386 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,031 This sounds like something the one true Morty might say. 387 00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,532 I'm sick of being a human shield. 388 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,568 I want to be a gardener! 389 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:47,071 I want to write really crazy, intense action novels! 390 00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:49,207 I'm more than just a hammer! 391 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,175 He is the one true Morty! 392 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,076 Hooray! 393 00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:53,544 The one true Morty! 394 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,413 Hey, keep it down! 395 00:17:04,751 --> 00:17:07,559 You've lived quite a life, Rick. 396 00:17:07,561 --> 00:17:10,762 It's a real shame you're not gonna be around to see it through. 397 00:17:18,764 --> 00:17:23,107 - You're crying? Over a Morty? - No, I'm just allergic to dipshits. 398 00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:24,108 Ugh. Pathetic. 399 00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:26,876 We both know that if there's any truth in the universe, 400 00:17:26,978 --> 00:17:29,648 it's that Ricks don't care about Mortys. 401 00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:35,219 Do your worst, you little bastards! 402 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,454 Kill me! Do it! 403 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,156 Do I-I-I-I-it! 404 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:40,091 Morty! Thank God! 405 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,459 Get me out of this. 406 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:42,060 Come on! 407 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,928 You're lucky I'm not a Rick. 408 00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:47,331 Point taken, but this is no time for arcs. 409 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,435 Oh! 410 00:17:56,007 --> 00:17:56,507 Yeah, hello. 411 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,910 Hey, what do me and O.J. not have in common? 412 00:17:58,912 --> 00:17:59,977 Huh? W-who is this? 413 00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:02,313 I found the real killer, bitch! 414 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,881 Get over here! 415 00:18:06,583 --> 00:18:09,220 Yo, ding-dong, we're done here. Time to go. 416 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:13,091 Well, Jerry, I guess this means goodbye. 417 00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,992 W-w-well, does it have to? 418 00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,095 I mean, you -- you look just like Rick. 419 00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,297 We could maybe, you know, get rid of him. 420 00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,332 I'm not saying kill him, necessarily. 421 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,600 I -- I'm also not saying 422 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,535 necessarily not kill him, but -- 423 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:27,271 Jerry, w-we both know it wouldn't work. 424 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,341 It's time to go back to our lives. 425 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,477 I love you, Jerry. I love you. 426 00:18:48,355 --> 00:18:51,096 Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! 427 00:18:54,998 --> 00:18:57,836 W-what -- w-what's gonna happen to all these Mortys? 428 00:18:57,838 --> 00:19:00,404 They'll go back to their families, attend school 429 00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:04,041 regularly, play video games, date girls. 430 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:07,211 Poor little rickless bastards. 431 00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:09,547 Earth Rick C-137, the council 432 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,149 apologizes for its false 433 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,717 accusation, and in the way of 434 00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,552 reparations for our 435 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,420 terrible mistake, we would like 436 00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:18,156 to compensate you with this 437 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,991 voucher for a free replacement 438 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,359 Morty in the event that 439 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,060 your current Morty should -- 440 00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,396 Uh, guys, not a good time. 441 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,098 Come on, Morty. Let's hit it. 442 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,603 Is it time for arcs yet, Rick? 443 00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:34,705 I did a pretty good job back there for a human cloaking device. 444 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:35,439 Saved your ass. 445 00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:36,507 All right, Morty. 446 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,242 Don't break an arm jerking yourself off. 447 00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:40,077 Man, I can't believe you, Rick. 448 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,245 That right there, that w-- that 449 00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:44,081 was a great opportunity to show a little humanity, you know? 450 00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:46,650 - To connect with me a little. - Hey, Morty, you want connection, 451 00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:49,219 go be part of some stupid club, like all those dumb Ricks. 452 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,722 You know, maybe I don't connect because I'm the rickest Rick there is. 453 00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,090 And, you know, it would 454 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,592 g-- Go without saying 455 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,261 that the rickest Rick would have the Mortyest Morty. 456 00:19:57,263 --> 00:20:00,598 - It would go without saying, huh? - Yeah, it would. 457 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,401 - Did you hear me say it? - Nah. 458 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:04,402 The Mortyest Morty. 459 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:07,371 Just don't get too big for your loafers, Buster brown. 460 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,540 A cocky Morty can lead to some big problems. 461 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,576 It can be a real bad thing for everybody. 462 00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,244 Oh, yeah? How's that? 463 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:16,247 U-uh, I'll explain when you're older. 464 00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:20,451 - What a mess. - Pride cometh before the fall. 465 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,386 I guess he got what he deserved. 466 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,287 What is that? 467 00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,123 Hand me the laser difibulator. 468 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,792 Hey, guys, uh, c-can I help? 469 00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,160 No! Go clean the toilets. 470 00:20:29,162 --> 00:20:31,095 Maybe you'll make friends with some turds. 471 00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:33,397 You make us ashamed to be ourselves! 472 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:39,080 My God. I've seen this technology before. 473 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,305 This Rick was being controlled remotely -- 474 00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:42,673 puppeteered by somebody else. 475 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:43,774 This is the receiver. 476 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,744 Yeah, but where's the transmitter? 477 00:21:35,715 --> 00:21:38,763 - Wubba dubba dub dub! - Oh. Hey, Jerry. 478 00:21:38,765 --> 00:21:40,732 What are you doing in my room, buddy? 479 00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:44,368 Nothing. I was just, um, checking the smoke detectors. 480 00:21:44,370 --> 00:21:45,536 All right. 481 00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:47,071 Okay, get out. 482 00:22:09,073 --> 00:22:12,129 What's that dipshit doing out there? Are you friends with him? 483 00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:13,731 You know he eats his own shit, right? 484 00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:15,666 Oh, my God, this is rich! 485 00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:18,569 I've got like 10 Ricks to call right now. 486 00:22:19,094 --> 00:22:25,094 Sync & corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com 486 00:22:26,305 --> 00:22:32,554 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/4uccj Help other users to choose the best subtitles