1
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,178
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
2
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:16,281
HEY, GOLF IS EASY NOW!
3
00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:19,618
AAH! GOLF IS HARD AGAIN!
GOLF IS HARD AGAIN!
4
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,787
THE VIEW FROM HERE
IS THE SAME AS YOURS, JIM.
5
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:24,123
A GIANT HEAD
HAS ENTERED EARTH'S GRAVITY,
6
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,058
TRIGGERING CLIMATE CHANGE
AND NATURAL DISASTERS
7
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:29,228
WE THOUGHT WERE IMPOSSIBLE FOR
AT LEAST ANOTHER EIGHT YEARS.
8
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:30,629
LET'S NOT
MAKE THIS POLITICAL, TERRY.
9
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:33,132
DO WE KNOW
WHAT THIS GIANT HEAD WANTS?
10
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,199
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
11
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,502
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.
12
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:42,241
JIM, YOU HEARD THE...SAID --
"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT."
13
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:44,043
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.
14
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,211
I WANT TO SEE
WHAT YOU GOT.
15
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,047
OH, BOY.
TIME TO GO, MORTY.
16
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:49,081
UH, WHERE?
17
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,315
THE PENTAGON.
18
00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:52,217
I MEAN,
NOT THE PENTAGON.
19
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,353
[ BURPS ]
THE LAME ONE HERE ON EARTH.
20
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:57,456
♪
21
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:05,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
22
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,553
Summer: IS IT GOD?
23
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:29,354
IF IT'S GOD,
DO WE GET OUT OF SCHOOL?
24
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:30,889
IT'S NOT GOD,
SUMMER.
25
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:33,358
SHE'S ALLOWED TO THINK IT'S GOD
IF SHE WANTS, HONEY.
26
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,227
SHUT UP, JERRY.
OKAY.
27
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:38,030
DAD, WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THIS?
28
00:01:38,032 --> 00:01:39,364
MORTY AND I
ARE GOING TO LOOK INTO IT.
29
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:40,766
YOU GUYS HOLD TIGHT.
30
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,537
SCARY STUFF, HUH?
PRETTY FREAKY.
31
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,206
HI.
I'M MORTY'S MATH TEACHER.
32
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,374
I'M ALSO PART OF THE STREET TEAM
INVITING FOLKS
33
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,977
TO THE CHURCH DOWNTOWN
SO WE CAN PRAY TOGETHER.
34
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,479
HOW IS PRAYING
GOING TO HELP?
35
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,614
MA'AM, A GIANT HEAD IN THE SKY
IS CONTROLLING THE WEATHER.
36
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,883
DID YOU WANT TO PLAY CHECKERS?
LET'S BE RATIONAL!
37
00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,185
I'LL SEE YOU
AT GOD'S HOUSE!
38
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,222
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
39
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,824
GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN!
ONE AT A TIME! SIMON?
40
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:08,327
SETI, NORAD, AND EVERY
BROADCASTER ON THE PLANET
41
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:10,562
ARE ATTEMPTING TO SHOW THIS
BEING WHAT HUMANITY'S GOT --
42
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,664
STRING THEORY, WORLD HISTORY,
THE HUMAN GENOME --
43
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,967
HAVE YOU TRIED
SENDING IT LAUNCH CODES?
44
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:17,236
MR. PRESIDENT,
WHAT AMERICA'S GOT
45
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,771
IS 70,000 MEGATONS
OF KABOOM-BOOM,
46
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:23,275
AND I SAY WE SHOW IT RIGHT
UP THIS FLOATING HEAD'S ASS.
47
00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:24,743
NO,
YOU NEED TO LET ME TALK!
48
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:25,844
SHUT UP!
49
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,246
HOLD IT! DON'T MOVE!
50
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:30,149
STAY BACK! THIS WATCH
TURNS PEOPLE INTO SNAKES!
51
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:33,418
♪
52
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:34,419
OH!
53
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,588
STAND DOWN!
EVERYBODY, STAND DOWN!
54
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:39,158
I'M THE LEADER OF THESE PEOPLE,
AND I'M UNARMED.
55
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,593
THERE'S NO NEED
FOR ANY MORE SNAKE-MAKERY.
56
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,095
MY NAME
IS RICK SANCHEZ.
57
00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:44,363
THIS HERE
IS MY GRANDSON, MORTY.
58
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,998
All: HI, MORTY.
HEY.
59
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,933
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH OF THE GALAXY
TO KNOW WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE
60
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:50,602
IS A CROMULON
FROM THE SIGNUS FIVE EXPANSE.
61
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:53,505
SO YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT NUKES,
AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT MATH.
62
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,873
THIS HEAD
WON'T GO AWAY
63
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,109
UNTIL [BURPS] EARTH
SHOWS THEM IT'S GOT...
64
00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:58,644
A HIT SONG.
65
00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,445
A HIT SONG?
WE CAN'T POSSIBLY --
66
00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:02,214
YOU MEAN
LIKE VIVALDI?
NO, FRASIER.
67
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:05,784
A LIVE PERFORMANCE OF A NEWLY
WRITTEN, CATCHY ORIGINAL SONG.
68
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,519
THE CROMULON FEED ON
THE TALENT AND SHOWMANSHIP
69
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,954
OF LESS-EVOLVED
LIFE-FORMS.
70
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,956
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU, MR. SANCHEZ.
71
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,191
CHANGE OF PLAN, PEOPLE.
72
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,458
GET ME PHARRELL,
RANDY NEWMAN,
73
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:16,562
BILLY CORGAN,
AND THE-DREAM.
74
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:17,696
THE-DREAM?
75
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,531
HE WROTE "UMBRELLA"
AND "SINGLE LADIES"?
76
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,166
YOU PEOPLE
HAVEN'T HEARD OF THE-DREAM?
77
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,368
YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO PUT THEM
ON THAT GIANT SPEAKER SYSTEM
78
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,470
AT YOUR SONIC TESTING FACILITY
AT AREA 51.
79
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,672
HOW DO YOU
KNOW ABOUT THAT?
80
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:27,973
FOR GOD'S SAKE,
NATHAN,
81
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,208
THE MAN TURNS PEOPLE
INTO SNAKES.
82
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,742
HE CAN USE
GOOGLE MAPS.
83
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,578
SIR, PHARRELL, NEWMAN,
CORGAN, AND THAT DREAM GUY --
84
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,213
THEY'RE ALL DEAD.
WHAT?
85
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:37,049
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? DO PEOPLE
JUST DIE WHEN I NAME THEM?
86
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,483
THE GRAMMYS, SIR.
87
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:40,652
THERE WAS AN EARTHQUAKE
AND...ALL THE MUSICIANS,
88
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,555
ALL THE FAMOUS ONES...
THEY'RE GONE.
89
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:44,656
DEAR GOD.
90
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:45,824
HOLD ON, SIR.
JUST A MINUTE.
91
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,492
ICE-T SURVIVED.
92
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:50,429
HE'S INBOUND ON AN F-15,
E.T.A. TWO HOURS.
93
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:51,863
GOOD LUCK,
MR. PRESIDENT.
94
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,765
SIR, THE MAGNETIC POLES
ARE ABOUT TO REVERSE.
95
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,168
IN TWO HOURS, THERE MAY NOT BE
AN EARTH TO SAVE.
96
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:58,370
SANCHEZ?
ARE YOU A MUSICIAN?
97
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,005
I DABBLE,
MR. PRESIDENT.
98
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:03,242
GET THIS MAN AND HIS GRANDSON
ON A BLACK HAWK TO AREA 51.
99
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:06,545
PEOPLE! EVERYONE!
REMAIN CALM!
100
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:10,349
EVERY CRISIS OF FAITH IS
AN OPPORTUNITY FOR MORE FAITH.
101
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:13,185
WHEN GOD DEALS YOU AN 11,
YOU DON'T FOLD!
102
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:14,386
YOU DOUBLE DOWN!
103
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,355
AND ALWAYS HIT
ON A SOFT 16.
104
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,789
THAT MEANS YOU, JEWS.
105
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,559
I BEG YOUR PARDON, PASTOR,
BUT THE LAST I LOOKED OUTSIDE,
106
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:23,629
IT SEEMS TO BE YOU
THAT'S BEEN DEALT THE WEAK HAND.
107
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:25,364
JEWS RULE!
108
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,366
NOBODY?
OKAY, TOUGH CHURCH.
109
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:28,634
HI.
PRINCIPAL VAGINA --
110
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,535
THE NAME'S REAL,
POSSIBLY SCANDINAVIAN.
111
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:32,137
I'M JUST GONNA COME OUT
AND MAKE THIS PITCH --
112
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,472
THE OLD GODS ARE DEAD.
113
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:36,074
[BLEEP] ALL PREVIOUS
EXISTING RELIGIONS.
114
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,310
ALL HAIL
THE ONE TRUE GOD --
115
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,545
THE GIANT HEAD
IN THE SKY.
116
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,147
CHILDREN OF GOD!
AH-TA-TA-TA!
117
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:43,415
BOB, BOB, I GET IT.
118
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:46,151
BUT UNLESS THIS
CAN BEAT THAT,
119
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,053
WHAT HAVE YOU
DONE FOR ME LATELY?
120
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,388
SO,
IF YOU'LL ALL EXCUSE ME,
121
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,889
I'M GOING OUT
ONTO THE SIDEWALK,
122
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,091
I'M DROPPING TO MY KNEES,
AND PLEDGING MY ETERNAL SOUL
123
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:56,061
TO THE THING THAT LITERALLY
CONTROLS THE [BLEEP] WEATHER.
124
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,729
OUT OF MY WAY.
125
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:58,764
OKAY.
126
00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:01,833
IF SANITY'S BEEN RESTORED
TO THIS ASSEMBLY,
127
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:05,470
I'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE COST
OF REPAIRING OUR NEW ORGAN.
128
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,139
SALLY, THE PLATE,
PLEASE.
129
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,574
OH!
THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART!
130
00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:12,577
RICK,
ARE YOU REALLY A MUSICIAN?
131
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:13,945
WHO'S NOT A MUSICIAN,
MORTY?
132
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,914
ME!
YEAH,
NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE.
133
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,849
WE'RE IN THE DROP ZONE!
I'M THE JUMPMASTER!
134
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,851
MY NAME'S JAMEY --
WITH AN E-Y!
135
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:20,852
GO, GO, GO!
136
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,688
B-BUT --
BUT WE DON'T HAVE A SONG!
137
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,823
GIANT HEAD IN THE SKY, PLEASE
FORGIVE ALL THAT WE'VE DONE.
138
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,925
WE'RE SORRY FOR OUR
INCREASED LEVELS OF EMISSIONS
139
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,161
AND OUR RACISM
AND, OF COURSE, THE AMBER ALERTS
140
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,796
I KEEP IGNORING
ON MY PHONE.
141
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,731
WHOA! WHOA!
142
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,601
ALL RIGHT, MORTY.
LET'S GET -- LET'S DO IT.
143
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,437
WHY DON'T YOU, UH, FIND A BUTTON
ON ONE OF THOSE KEYBOARDS
144
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:39,705
AND LAY DOWN
SOME KIND OF BEAT?
145
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,106
RICK, I THINK
WE NEED TO CUT OUR LOSSES.
146
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:42,841
W-WE GET OUR FAMILY
AND PORTAL OUT OF HERE!
147
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,477
MORTY, GOOD MUSIC COMES FROM
PEOPLE WHO ARE RELAXED.
148
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,446
JUST HIT A BUTTON, MORTY!
GIVE ME A BEAT!
149
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,147
OH, MAN. OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, UM...
150
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,916
[ TECHNO BEAT PLAYS ]
151
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:55,454
♪ OH, YEAH
152
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,723
♪ YOU GOTTA GET SCHWIFTY
153
00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:01,193
♪ YOU GOTTA
GET SCHWIFTY IN HERE ♪
154
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,861
♪ IT'S TIME TO GET SCHWIFTY
155
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:03,895
♪ UH-OH
156
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,631
GET "SCHWIFTY"?
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
157
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,568
IT'S OUR WORLD'S BEST EFFORT.
THAT'S WHAT.
158
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,370
♪ TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS
AND YOUR PANTIES ♪
159
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,472
♪ SHIT ON THE FLOOR
160
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,674
♪ TIME TO
GET SCHWIFTY IN HERE ♪
161
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:18,076
♪ I'M MR. BULLDOPS
162
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,711
"MR. BULLDOPS"?
163
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,213
DON'T ANALYZE IT, NATHAN.
IT'S WORKING!
164
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,848
♪ TAKE A SHIT ON THE FLOOR
165
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:25,217
♪ TIME TO
GET SCHWIFTY IN HERE ♪
166
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:27,052
[ RUMBLING STOPS ]
167
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:32,657
...AND THIRD-LEVEL DONORS
GET OUR ALL-ACCESS FAMILY PASS.
168
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:34,559
LISTEN!
THE STORM IS STOPPING!
169
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,162
♪ HEY, TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF
170
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:40,432
♪ IT'S SCHWIFTY TIME TODAY
171
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,234
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
HMM.
172
00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:45,070
PLEASE BE KIND TO US,
FOR WE ARE BUT TINY THINGS
173
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,372
WITH ENTIRE BODIES,
STUCK TO YOUR GROUND.
174
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:52,377
I LIKE WHAT YOU GOT!
GOOD JOB!
175
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:54,846
YEA[BURPS]H!
WHOO!
176
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:55,847
WE DID IT!
177
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,516
[ ALL CHEERING ]
178
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,017
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
HE WAS RIGHT!
179
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,520
HOORAY PRINCIPAL VAGINA!
YEAH, I'LL TAKE IT.
180
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,687
NOW,
HOLD ON A SECOND!
181
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,790
LET'S BE RATIONAL
ABOUT THIS.
182
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,092
NO, I'M --
I'M JUST SAYING,
183
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,528
WE DON'T KNOW THERE'S
A CAUSE-EFFECT RELATIONSHIP --
184
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,196
[ RUMBLING ]
OH, MY GOD!
185
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,197
WHAT IS GOING ON NOW?!
186
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,698
WHOA! WHOA!
187
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:16,768
♪
188
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,240
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
189
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,376
MR. PRESIDENT,
YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO SEE THIS.
190
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:26,445
I THINK PLANET EARTH
HAS JUST BEEN TRANSPORTED.
191
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:29,381
Principal Vagina: THE HEAD
HAS LEFT AND SENT ITS CHILDREN.
192
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:30,949
HOLY CRAP!
193
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:34,119
OH, DEAR GIANT HEAD, WE
APOLOGIZE FOR THAT DISCUSSION.
194
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,887
IT WILL NEVER
HAPPEN AGAIN.
195
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,622
OH, DEAR --
OH, DEAR GIANT HEAD...
196
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,090
[ ALL PRAYING ]
197
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,393
SIR, WE STARTED PICKING UP ON
A GARBLED SIGNAL.
198
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:42,794
WE'RE
DECRYPTING IT NOW.
199
00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:46,998
Head: WE ASKED THEM TO SHOW US
WHAT THEY GOT,
200
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,667
AND THEY DID.
201
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,736
NOW WE'LL SEE WHICH OF THEM
HAS GOT THE MOST.
202
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:56,074
24 HOURS, 5 PLANETS,
5 SONGS.
203
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,944
BUT IN THE END,
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE...
204
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,679
PLANET MUSIC!
205
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,080
ALL PARTICIPATION
IS INVOLUNTARY.
206
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,615
DISQUALIFIED
AND LOSING PLANETS
207
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,650
ARE DISINTEGRATED
BY PLASMA RAY.
208
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,285
UH, IT'S PROBABLY A BAD TIME
TO MENTION IT,
209
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:11,022
BUT ANY ASTRONAUTS YOU GUYS HAD
IN ORBIT ARE DEFINITELY DEAD.
210
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,693
Head:
WELCOME BACK TO "PLANET MUSIC"!
211
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,428
FIRST UP,
LET'S HEAR THE LATEST SONG
212
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:20,098
FROM PLANET PARBLESNOPS',
THE GREEBY BOBES!
213
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,600
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!
214
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,869
HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
STOP.
215
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:26,438
MUSIC ISN'T ABOUT
COMPETITION OR CAPTIVITY.
216
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,540
IF YOU LOVE MUSIC,
YOU LOVE FREEDOM.
217
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,443
LET THESE WORLDS BE FREE!
PLEASE!
218
00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:33,512
DISQUALIFIED.
219
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,281
[ BUZZER ]
220
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,783
THERE'S ONE EVERY SEASON.
221
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:41,887
MOVING ON TO
PLANET ARBOLES MENTIROSOS.
222
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:46,525
ARBOLIAN MENTIROSOSIANS,
SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT!
223
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,293
A 2, 3, 4!
224
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:50,595
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
225
00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:59,638
[ GUITAR STRUMMING,
SOUR NOTES PLAY ]
226
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,973
RICK, MORTY, ICE-T,
THE TIMETABLE'S MOVED UP.
227
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,375
EARTH'S ON
IN SIX HOURS.
228
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,810
LIKE WE'RE NOT ALREADY
UNDER ENOUGH PRESSURE?!
229
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,712
WHOA! WHOA!
[ LAUGHS ] YEAH!
230
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,749
GEEZ, MORTY, THE GUY'S JUST
DOING HIS JOB. TAKE IT EASY.
231
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,685
RICK, ICE-T, COULD YOU GUYS
TAKE IT LESS EASY?!
232
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,820
WE'VE GOT SIX HOURS
TO COME UP WITH A SONG!
233
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,556
GENIUS HAPPENS IN THE MOMENT,
MORTY.
234
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,057
WELL, CAN WE AT LEAST
GO GET OUR FAMILY?
235
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,425
YOU KNOW, SO WE CAN
TAKE THEM WIS--
236
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:21,927
WITH U--
WITH US IF WE LOSE?
237
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,528
THAT'S PLANNING FOR FAILURE,
MORTY.
238
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:25,163
EVEN DUMBER
THAN REGULAR PLANNING.
239
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,097
BALLS.
240
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,766
MORTY, MORTY, STOP.
LISTEN.
241
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,234
THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH CHARGE
LEFT IN THIS THING.
242
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,069
IF WE PORTAL HOME
FROM HERE AND BACK,
243
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,204
WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ENOUGH
CHARGE LEFT TO GET OFF WORLD.
244
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,272
GET IT?
WHAT?!
245
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,540
YEAH.
[ BURPS ] YOU SEE?
246
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:36,841
I TRY TO SHELTER YOU
247
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,009
FROM CERTAIN REALITIES
[BURPS] MORTY,
248
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,678
BECAUSE IF I LET YOU
MAKE ME NERVOUS,
249
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,112
THEN WE CAN'T
GET SCHWIFTY.
250
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,515
STOP SAYING IT LIKE
IT'S A THING! YOU MADE IT UP!
251
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,183
HEY, MORTY,
COULD YOU LICK MY...
252
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,518
BALLS, BALLS...
253
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,053
RICK, CUT IT OUT!
IT'S NOT FUNNY, RICK!
254
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:50,956
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.
THESE GUYS ARE ONE-HIT WONDERS.
255
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,123
AND WHAT'S YOUR PLAN,
GENERAL?
256
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,692
WE STILL HAVE
THE NUCLEAR OPTION.
257
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,794
ON MY WORD,
WE CAN LAUNCH A MISSILE
258
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,029
AT EVERY ONE
OF THOSE HEADS IN THE SKY.
259
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:00,198
OUR PLANET'S HELD CAPTIVE
ON A LIVE GAME SHOW,
260
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,967
AND YOUR SOLUTION
IS TO SHOOT THE AUDIENCE?
261
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:04,102
YOU CAN PUT YOUR FAITH IN NUKES
IF WE GET THROUGH THIS, GENERAL.
262
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,972
UNTIL THEN, I'LL PUT MINE
IN RICK AND MORTY.
263
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:09,574
"GET SCHWIFTY"
WAS A JAM.
264
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,643
HELLO?
YES, SIR, YEAH.
265
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:13,078
EH, THANK YOU, SIR.
THANK YOU.
266
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,714
HE SAYS HE'S PROUD
OF WHAT WE'RE DOING
267
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:19,417
AND HOPES WE HAVE
A GREAT ASCENSION FESTIVAL!
268
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,452
HAPPY ASCENSION!
269
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:21,753
All: HAPPY ASCENSION!
270
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,488
WE SHOULD PACK UP
AND LEAVE TOWN NOW.
271
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,324
I THINK IT'S INSPIRING THAT OUR
COMMUNITY IS COPING WITH FEAR
272
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,927
IN A WAY THAT INVOLVES A
FESTIVAL AND HOMEMADE ICE CREAM.
273
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,129
IF YOU'D STOP BEING
SUCH AN EVANGELICAL ATHEIST,
274
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,264
YOU MIGHT
START ENJOYING YOURSELF.
275
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,833
WHOA!
LOOK AT YOU!
276
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:36,468
YOU'RE WEARING THE HAT
AND EVERYTHING!
277
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,836
HERE'S YOURS!
278
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,971
MOM, DO YOU MIND
IF I COOK DINNER TONIGHT?
279
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,007
YEAH, SURE.
WAIT. WHAT?
280
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,776
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
YOU GAVE ME LIFE.
281
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,277
AND IT'S THE WILL
OF THE MANY HEADS
282
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,613
THAT ALL CHILDREN
HONOR THEIR PARENTS.
283
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:49,981
DINNER SOUNDS NICE.
284
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,316
PARDON,
MR. AND MRS. SMITH.
285
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,251
SUMMER, ARE YOU
COMING TO THE ASCENSION?
286
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,787
FATHER, CAN WE PLEASE
GO TO THE ASCENSION?
287
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,622
SURE!
LET'S GO TO THE ASCENSION.
288
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:58,923
WH-WH-WHAT IS IT?
289
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:01,026
WE HEREBY SEND THESE
UNWANTABLES SKYWARD
290
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:03,461
THAT THEY MIGHT BE INHALED
BY THE MANY HEADS,
291
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,831
LATER TO BE SNEEZED BACK TO US
AS BETTER BABIES.
292
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,034
HEADWARD,
FREE NOW TO RISE.
293
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,036
HEADWARD,
FREE NOW TO RISE.
294
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,337
HEADWARD,
FREE NOW TO RISE.
295
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,106
OH, YES! YES!
RISE TO THE GIANT HEAD!
296
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,941
YOU ARE FREE
TO BE FREE!
297
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:19,010
AND SQUEEGEE COMES UP
FROM THE GARAGE, RIGHT?
298
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,545
BUT HE'S GOT A LOBSTER
IN ONE HAND,
299
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,714
THE MOVIE TICKETS IN THE OTHER,
HE'S LIKE, "I'M READY!"
300
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,015
[ LAUGHS ]
301
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,784
YOU GONNA TAKE A LOBSTER
TO SEE "IRON MAN 3"?
302
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,786
[ Laughing ] ICE-T!
303
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:28,953
AH, DAMN.
304
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,022
WE'RE OUT OF
ORIGINAL-FLAVOR FIG NEWTONS.
305
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,457
I SHOULD
GET GOING ANYWAY.
306
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:33,792
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
C-COME ON.
307
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:36,061
H-HOLD ON A SECOND.
HOLD ON.
308
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,364
WHAT?!
DAMN.
309
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,733
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU [BLEEP]
AROUND WITH PORTALS AND SHIT.
310
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:42,967
THAT'S IT! [ GRUNTS ]
311
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,202
WHOA, WHOA, MORTY!
GIVE ME THAT.
312
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,637
YOU LIED! YOU LIED
ABOUT THE CHARGE!
313
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:47,005
YOU WERE
JUST BEING LAZY!
314
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,073
GET BACK!
SIT DOWN!
315
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,307
MORTY,
JUST PUT IT DOWN.
316
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,809
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
317
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,644
I'M GOING TO GO
FIND MOM AND DAD!
318
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:53,645
NO!
319
00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:54,646
OH [BLEEP]
320
00:11:54,648 --> 00:11:56,314
OH [BLEEP]
321
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:59,150
♪
322
00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,826
[ FARTING ]
323
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,394
OH [BLEEP]
324
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,329
AND THEN ETHAN PLAYED GUITAR,
AND WE LEARNED
325
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,332
THE SEVEN CONTEMPLATIONS
OF THE HEAD BY SINGING THEM.
326
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,234
IT WAS REALLY FUN.
327
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,268
PRAISE BE THE HEAD!
328
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,838
Both: PRAISE BE THE...
YEAH.
329
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,740
HI, FOLKS.
HEAD PRIEST VAGINA.
330
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,608
THANKS FOR FARMING
ALL THOSE POTATOES.
331
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,176
IT'S 6:00 P.M.,
SO IF YOU'RE A PARENT,
332
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,846
YOU'RE NOW ENTITLED TO
ADORATION FROM YOUR CHILDREN.
333
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,514
I'M GOING TO
START DINNER!
334
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:30,782
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
335
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,851
SUMMER
IS DOING REALLY WELL HERE.
336
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,520
SHE'S ACED EVERY TEST
IN POTATO CLASS,
337
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,622
AND LOOK HOW IMPORTANT
POTATOES HAVE BECOME.
338
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:41,426
SHE'S NOT GETTING PREGNANT OR
DOING DRUGS OR MISSING CURFEW.
339
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,728
PLEASE HELP ME.
YOU CAN REACH ME IF YOU TRY.
340
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,196
PLEASE HELP ME!
341
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,432
THAT'S NOT OUR BUSINESS
AS LONG AS SUMMER IS THRIVING.
342
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,134
TACO TIME!
343
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,603
I HOPE IT PLEASES YOU
AS THE HEAD DESIRES.
344
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,371
THAT'S WONDERFUL,
SUMMER.
345
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:54,706
WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU.
346
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:57,275
BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T HAVE TO
MAKE DINNER EVERY NIGHT.
347
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,878
OF COURSE I DO, SILLY!
[ GASPS ]
348
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,881
OH, MY GOD, DADDY!
I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU SILLY!
349
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,315
I'M SO SORRY!
350
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,050
HEAVENLY HEADS
AND CRANIAL CREATOR,
351
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,419
FORGIVE MY TRANSGRESSIONS
AGAINST FAMILY AND COMMUNITY.
352
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:11,356
MAY MY CHORES COMPLETE ME
AS I COMPLETE THEM.
353
00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:14,592
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
354
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:17,896
♪
355
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:27,405
MORTY.
356
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:28,406
BIRDPERSON?
357
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,440
YOU APPEAR TO BE DYING.
358
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,309
I WILL MAKE EFFORTS
TO PREVENT THIS
359
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,577
BUT CAN PROMISE NOTHING.
360
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,112
[ GROANS ]
361
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:36,414
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
362
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:40,852
WH-WHAT DO YOU THINK, ICE?
PROBABLY A LITTLE OVERDEVELOPED.
363
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:43,755
SHIT, OVERDEVELOPED,
UNDERDEVELOPED --
364
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:45,123
A BAD SONG'S A BAD SONG.
365
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,457
WELL, DO YOU THINK,
MAYBE --
366
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,859
COULD YOU GIVE ME
SOME HELP WITH IT, OR...?
367
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,194
AW, HELL NO, MAN.
368
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,129
YOU DO YOUR THING,
BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO
369
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:52,630
GET MY PRIDE WRAPPED UP
IN YOUR SHAME.
370
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,098
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
371
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,000
ICE, I DON'T WANT TO BE
A NEGATIVE NELLY OR ANYTHING,
372
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,036
BUT [BURPS] IF MORTY DOESN'T
COME BACK WITH MY PORTAL GUN
373
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,437
AND I EAT IT OUT THERE,
374
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,306
IT'S, UH, YOU KNOW,
KIND OF YOUR PROBLEM, TOO.
375
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:04,509
PFFT! I AIN'T WORRIED ABOUT
NO EARTH BLOWING UP, MAN.
376
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:05,810
WHAT? WHY NOT?
377
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:08,713
YO, THIS IS WHY.
378
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,849
WHAT THE [BLEEP]
YOU CAN TURN INTO ICE?
379
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,151
MY STORY BEGINS
AT THE DAWN OF TIME
380
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,620
IN THE FARAWAY REALM
OF ALPHABETRIUM.
381
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:18,690
THERE, EVERY BEING
IS A LETTER OF THE ALPHABET.
382
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:22,994
BUT I WAS FROZEN AND EXILED
TO THE COSMOS BY MY ELDERS
383
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:26,130
AS PUNISHMENT FOR NOT
CARING ENOUGH ABOUT ANYTHING.
384
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:28,132
EARTH IS JUST
ONE OF MY MANY STOPS
385
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:30,969
ON A LIFELONG JOURNEY
WITH NO DESTINATION.
386
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,471
SO YOU BETTER BELIEVE
I DON'T CARE IF IT BLOWS UP,
387
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:36,808
BECAUSE I'LL JUST BE
ICE FLOATING THROUGH SPACE,
388
00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:38,309
LIKE A COMET.
389
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,411
TAKE IT FROM ME, ICE,
[BURPS] YOU CAN'T JUST [BURPS]
390
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:43,014
FLOAT AROUND SPACE
NOT CARING ABOUT STUFF FOREVER.
391
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,849
PFFT.
MAN, WATCH ME.
392
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,618
GOOD LUCK, RICK.
393
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:51,990
OKAY, THINGS ARE GETTING
OUT OF HAND.
394
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,691
I BETTER MAKE SURE
RICK HAS EVERYTHING HE NEEDS
395
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:54,859
TO GET SCHWIFTY.
396
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:56,761
OH, FOR GOD'S SAKES.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
397
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,229
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING,
NATHAN?!
398
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,531
I'M THE GODDAMN PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED [BLEEP] STATES!
399
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,333
I'M SETTING THE NUCLEAR OPTION
TO LAUNCH
400
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,269
ONE MINUTE
INTO EARTH'S PERFORMANCE.
401
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:07,038
AND YOU,
MR. PRESIDENT...
402
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,108
I HOPE YOU LIKE BEING
HIT IN THE FACE WITH A GUN.
403
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:13,244
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WHY -- WHY --
404
00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:17,215
I BELIEVE I CAN ACCESS
THE HISTORY OF RICK'S GUN
405
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:18,516
AND HELP YOU
GET BACK TO HIM.
406
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:19,918
BUT CAN YOU HELP ME
GET TO MY FAMILY?
407
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,185
YOU KNOW,
AT -- AT MY HOUSE?
408
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,121
IS YOUR INTENTION
TO ABANDON RICK
409
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,555
USING HIS OWN PORTAL GUN?
410
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:27,358
IN BIRD CULTURE,
THIS IS CONSIDERED A DICK MOVE.
411
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,394
ALL OF RICK'S MOVES
ARE DICK MOVES!
412
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,862
WHAT --
WHAT AM I EATING?
413
00:15:30,864 --> 00:15:32,363
WH-WHAT IS THIS,
BIRD-- BIRDSEED?
414
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,866
IT IS RANDOM DEBRIS.
I FOUND IT IN MY CARPET.
415
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,367
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HUMANS EAT.
416
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,036
YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS HUMAN EATS.
417
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,370
DON'T BE GROSS,
TAMMY.
418
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,705
BIRD [BLEEP]
419
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,106
TAMMY, GROSS.
420
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,708
BIRDPERSON,
YOU ALWAYS STICK UP FOR RICK,
421
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,044
BUT HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT
ANYONE BUT HIMSELF.
422
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,712
HE DOESN'T THINK ABOUT
THE CONSEQUENCES
423
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:48,913
OF ANYTHING HE DOES.
424
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:50,381
AND AS A RESULT,
HE HAS THE POWER
425
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,717
TO SAVE OR DESTROY
ENTIRE WORLDS.
426
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:55,219
AND HE IS THE REASON
YOU AND I KNOW EACH OTHER...
427
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,956
AND THE REASON
I'M ALIVE AT ALL.
428
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,959
♪
429
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,461
WHAT'S THAT?
WHO'S THAT BABY?
430
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,064
MORTY, SUPPOSE YOU COULD
RETRIEVE YOUR FAMILY FROM EARTH
431
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:07,565
BUT HAD TO
ABANDON RICK.
432
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:10,234
I COULD GIVE YOUR LOVED ONES
SHELTER ON BIRDWORLD,
433
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,670
EVEN JOBS,
POSSIBLY AS WORM RANCHERS.
434
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:15,473
HOW OFTEN DO YOU THINK
YOU MIGHT LOOK UP AT THE STARS
435
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,241
AND WONDER
WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN
436
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:19,644
HAD YOU JUST
PUT YOUR FAITH IN RICK?
437
00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:22,447
Head:
THAT WAS CHUNKYTUNK WITH
438
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:24,983
"FULL MING MONG,
EMPTY GORBDORK."
439
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,085
UP NEXT, PLANET EARTH!
440
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,653
OH, GOD!
WE'RE UP?!
441
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,322
JERRY AND BETH,
YOUR FAMILY IS A GOLDEN EXAMPLE
442
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,691
OF WHAT HEADISM
HAS TO OFFER THE WORLD.
443
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,593
THE WORLD?
HEADISM IS A HIT.
444
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,428
WE'RE TAKING IT WORLDWIDE,
AND WE'D LIKE JERRY TO BE
445
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,664
OUR CHURCH'S
HEAD OF ADVERTISING.
446
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,099
YOU WOULD?
447
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,301
BETH, WE'D LIKE TO PROMOTE YOU
FROM HORSE SURGEON
448
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:46,270
STRAIGHT PAST HUMAN SURGEON
TO HEAOF MEDICINE.
449
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:47,605
THAT'S MY DREAM!
THAT'S MY DREAM.
450
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:50,775
THANK YOU.
THIS IS ALL SO OVERWHELMING.
451
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,143
BUT, UH...
452
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,544
WE CAN'T.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
453
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,379
I'M SORRY?
454
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,347
WE'VE BEEN WAITING
16 YEARS
455
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,116
FOR OUR DAUGHTER
TO RESPECT US,
456
00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:00,852
BUT THE KEY IS,
IT HAS TO BE OUR DAUGHTER,
457
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,620
NOT THIS PERSON
SHE'S BECOME.
458
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:05,056
WE'LL TAKE OUR CHANCES
RAISING HER
459
00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:06,491
WITHOUT FANCY NEW JOBS,
460
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:08,726
OUTSIDE OF
A POTATO-BASED RELIGION.
461
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:12,163
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I-I'M SICK OF
PRETENDING THAT WE'RE TOGETHER
462
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:13,965
BECAUSE OF THE KIDS
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
463
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:17,368
I MARRIED YOU BECAUSE
YOU'RE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
464
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,304
AND I'M LUCKY TO HAVE YOU,
AND I NEVER TELL YOU THAT!
465
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:23,574
YOU KNOW, WE WILL COME OUT
OF THIS STRONGER AS A FAMILY.
466
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,643
PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!
PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!
467
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,678
SUMMER!
SUMMER, LISTEN CAREFULLY.
468
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,647
I STOLE A PAPER CLIP,
AND I HAVE IT IN MY CHEEK,
469
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,516
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH IT, AND IT HURTS.
470
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:32,850
YOU'RE GOING TO
BE OKAY.
471
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,318
YOU WILL COME BACK
AS BABIES.
472
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,888
I AMA BABY!
I'M A BABY NOW!
473
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,589
HELLO?
474
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:39,824
IS ANYBODY HERE?
475
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,059
[ MUFFLED SHOUTING ]
476
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,494
MR. PRESIDENT!
477
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:44,262
[ GASPS ]
478
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,863
THIS IS BLUEBIRD!
479
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,165
CODE TANGO NINER ALPHA!
480
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,534
ABORT LAUNCH!
ABORT! HELLO?
481
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:50,501
HE'S BLOCKED ME OUT.
482
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:52,003
SIR, I NEED TO
GET TO THE STAGE
483
00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:53,337
AND HELP RICK
GET SCHWIFTY!
484
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:55,039
IT WON'T MATTER
HOW SCHWIFTY YOU GET, MORTY.
485
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,507
THE GENERAL'S GOT NUKES
SET TO LAUNCH
486
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,109
HALFWAY THROUGH
EARTH'S SONG!
487
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,344
OH, MY GOD!
UH, C-CAN YOU FLY A BLACK HAWK?
488
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:02,346
CAN THE POPE'S [BLEEP]
FIT THROUGH A DOUGHNUT?
489
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:04,582
UH, I'M...NOT SURE.
490
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,950
EXACTLY.
491
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:10,054
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!
492
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,589
[ TECHNO BEAT PLAYS ]
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
493
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,191
UH...
494
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:15,026
♪ LAPOO LAPOO LAPOO DOPS
495
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,894
♪ NAPOO NAPOO NAPOO NOTS
496
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,430
HEADWARD,
FREE NOW TO RISE.
497
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,965
HEY,
LOOK AT THE HEADS!
498
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,733
LOOKS LIKE
THE HEADS ARE GETTING ANGRY!
499
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:25,136
President:
I'M REALLY BAD AT THIS, MORTY!
500
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:27,105
THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY BUTTONS
IN THIS THING!
501
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,373
MR. PRESIDENT,
IF I'VE LEARNED ONE THING TODAY
502
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:32,076
IT'S THAT SOMETIMES
YOU HAVE TO NOT GIVE A [BLEEP]
503
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:33,945
♪ NAPOO NAPOO NOTS
504
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,613
UGH.
TOUGH CROWD.
505
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,081
I'M SURE THAT HAS --
506
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,717
THAT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH THIS.
507
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,886
[ HEADS BOOING ]
508
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:42,954
THE HEADS
ARE DISPLEASED!
509
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:43,955
SUMMER!
510
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:44,956
UM...
511
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,758
[ BOOING CONTINUES ]
512
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,893
MORTY!
513
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,094
Heads: HOORAY!
514
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,562
HOORAY! LOOK!
515
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:52,730
HOORAY!
516
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,232
THE HEADS LOVE THIS!
517
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,801
THEY LOVE IT WHEN WE DON'T
KILL THE SMITH FAMILY!
518
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,402
NO!
STOP THAT!
519
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,571
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO INTERPRET
THE WILL OF THE HEADS!
520
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,574
CALL OFF THE NUCLEAR STRIKE!
THIS IS THE PRESIDENT!
521
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,143
STOP
THE NUCLEAR MISSILE LAUNCH!
522
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:07,145
JUST LAUNCH
THE MISSILES!
523
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:11,249
[ PBHT! PBHT! ]
524
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,251
BOO! NOT COOL!
525
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,253
I'M THE ONLY ONE
THAT SPEAKS TO THE HEADS!
526
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,587
DISQUALIFIED!
527
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:19,991
THE HEADS DISQUALIFIED VAGINA!
GET HIM!
528
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,626
DISQUALIFIED!
529
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,094
DISQUALIFIED!
530
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:26,397
♪
531
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,204
All: ICE-T?!
532
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,873
THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S ME -- ICE-T.
533
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,708
I CARE NOW.
534
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,944
YOU MADE ME CARE MORE.
535
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,512
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
536
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:45,449
I'D LIKE TO HEAR WHAT
RICK AND MORTY HAVE TO PLAY.
537
00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:47,218
WHAT DO YOU SAY,
RICK?
538
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,654
I SAY,
LET'S DO IT!
539
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,189
[ TECHNO BEAT PLAYS ]
Heads: HOORAY!
540
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:52,790
YEAH.
541
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,458
ALL RIGHT.
542
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,127
♪ OH, YEAH
UH-HUH.
543
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:57,795
HERE WE GO.
544
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,197
♪ OH, YEAH
545
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,231
♪ SAY IT WITH ME
546
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,500
♪ HEAD BENT OVER
547
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,635
♪ RAISED UP POSTERIOR
548
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:05,469
♪ OH, YEAH
549
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,471
♪ HEAD BENT OVER
550
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,974
♪ YEAH, RAISED UP POSTERIOR
551
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,008
SING IT
WITH ME NOW!
552
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,544
OH, MY GO--
553
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,479
♪ HEAD BENT OVER
554
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:16,314
YEAH.
555
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,982
♪ RAISED UP POSTERIOR
556
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:19,016
ALL RIGHT!
557
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,484
♪ HEAD BENT OVER
558
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:24,689
OH, YEAH.
RAISED UP POSTERIOR!
559
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:27,992
AFTER 988 SEASONS
OF "PLANET MUSIC,"
560
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:32,430
THE CROMULONS HAVE DECIDED TO
DECLARE EARTH THE FINAL WINNER
561
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,900
AND BRING OUR MUSICAL
REALITY SHOW TO A CONCLUSION.
562
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,602
GOODBYE.
563
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,003
[ PBHT! ]
564
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,438
YEAH!
WE DID IT! YES!
565
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,406
LET'S GET
A MUSIC ALBUM NOW!
566
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:46,043
DID HE JUST SAY
"MUSICAL REALITY SHOW"?
567
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:49,013
YEAH, IT'S POSSIBLE THAT
WE MAY HAVE BEEN CORRELATING
568
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:51,849
SOME THINGS THAT WEREN'T
ACTUALLY RELATED AT ALL.
569
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,217
HELP!
570
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,452
WE SHOULD
GO GET HIM.
571
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,020
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
572
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:58,055
I HOPE I CAN CALL ON YOU AND
RICK AGAIN IF I NEED YOU, MORTY.
573
00:20:58,057 --> 00:20:59,523
SURE THING.
AND I --
574
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,759
I WAS KIND OF HOPING THAT I
COULD GET A SELFIE WITH YOU?
575
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,262
ACTUALLY, IF YOU TRY TO
TELL ANYONE WHAT HAPPENED HERE,
576
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:06,297
WE'LL DENY IT
AND PROBABLY WORSE.
577
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:07,365
UNDERSTOOD.
578
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,733
D-I-I-I-I-IE!
579
00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:10,601
OH, NO, NO, NO!
580
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,204
WHY DIDN'T
HE TURN INTO A SNAKE?
581
00:21:13,206 --> 00:21:14,605
TRADE SECRET,
MR. PRESIDENT.
582
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,407
PARTICLE BEAM
IN A WRISTWATCH,
583
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:18,909
SNAKE HOLSTER
ON THE LEG.
584
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,945
[ SNAKE HISSING, RATTLING ]
585
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,382
[ WHISTLES ]
586
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:27,952
[ LAUGHS ]
587
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:29,787
I LOVE THIS MAN!
588
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,890
♪
589
00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:06,791
MAGNESIUM-J,
HYDROGEN-F...
590
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:07,958
FATHER.
591
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,761
WORD OF YOUR SELFLESS ACTS
ON THE EARTH PLANET
592
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:13,097
HAVE TRAVELED
ACROSS THE GALAXY.
593
00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:14,465
I HAVE CHANGED.
594
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:18,002
I AM READY TO REJOIN MY BRETHREN
ON ALPHABETRIUM.
595
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,103
VERY WELL.
596
00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:22,039
YOUR EXILE ENDS TODAY.
597
00:22:24,209 --> 00:22:28,112
WELCOME HOME,
WATER-T.
598
00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:29,313
[ EXPLOSION, RUMBLING ]
599
00:22:29,315 --> 00:22:31,048
THE NUMBERICONS!
THEY'RE ATTACKING!
600
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:32,950
BATTLE STATIONS!
601
00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:33,984
AAH!
602
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:34,985
FATHER!
603
00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:36,320
I LOVE YOU, SON.
604
00:22:36,322 --> 00:22:40,124
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
TURNED YOU TO ICE.
605
00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:43,227
WATER-T,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!
606
00:22:43,229 --> 00:22:44,795
THERE'S TOO MANY
OF THEM!
607
00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:47,465
THEN I BETTER
CRUNCH THE NUMBERS.
608
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:50,901
AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[ GUNFIRE ]
609
00:22:51,305 --> 00:22:57,320
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