1
00:00:00,414 --> 00:00:02,775
Rick: Anyway, that's how I
escaped from space prison!
2
00:00:02,804 --> 00:00:04,008
Oh, scary place.
3
00:00:04,068 --> 00:00:06,797
Wow, Rick! That's... That's
one... one heck of a story.
4
00:00:06,875 --> 00:00:08,771
I sure do wish I could have been
there to see it happen.
5
00:00:08,772 --> 00:00:10,181
Oh, come on.
Who wants to watch
6
00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,329
a mad scientist
use handmade sci-fi tools
7
00:00:12,384 --> 00:00:14,079
to take out highly trained
alien guards?
8
00:00:14,126 --> 00:00:16,431
when we can sit here
and be a family at Shoney's?
9
00:00:16,501 --> 00:00:18,899
Dad, it's great to have you
back, no matter where we are,
10
00:00:18,951 --> 00:00:20,251
but wouldn't you like
to go home?
11
00:00:20,306 --> 00:00:22,720
Emotionally speaking, honey,
Shoney's is my home.
12
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,199
Yeah, but you just
got out of prison.
13
00:00:24,223 --> 00:00:26,724
I mean, how much of a step up
from that is...
14
00:00:26,782 --> 00:00:28,313
Jerry, get out of the booth,
take all your clothes off,
15
00:00:28,337 --> 00:00:29,454
and fold yourself 12 times.
16
00:00:29,493 --> 00:00:31,032
You got it.
17
00:00:31,103 --> 00:00:33,759
[ Grunting ]
18
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:37,267
Six folds, huh?
19
00:00:37,361 --> 00:00:39,782
W-W-What, have you guys got me
in a Series 9000?
20
00:00:39,845 --> 00:00:42,970
You cheap insect [bleep] didn't think
I was worth your best equipment?
21
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:45,446
[ Chuckles ]
Man, I told the money bugs.
22
00:00:45,509 --> 00:00:47,556
I said, "You know
who this guy is, right?
23
00:00:47,610 --> 00:00:49,759
You want me to get intel
out of the smartest mammal
24
00:00:49,821 --> 00:00:52,438
in the galaxy, you better
give me a decent brainalyzer."
25
00:00:52,523 --> 00:00:54,243
Well, you might as well
order some pancakes,
26
00:00:54,272 --> 00:00:56,318
because I don't see the need
to leave this part of my brain.
27
00:00:56,342 --> 00:00:57,775
Oh, I think you do.
28
00:00:57,801 --> 00:01:00,056
Eventually, you're either gonna
relax your cerebellum...
29
00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:01,758
- Shoney's...
- Or the Series 9000
30
00:01:01,797 --> 00:01:03,196
is going to turn it into mush.
31
00:01:03,259 --> 00:01:05,506
[ Farts ] Relaxed enough?
[ Chuckles ]
32
00:01:05,556 --> 00:01:06,676
I admire you, Rick.
[ Farts ]
33
00:01:06,732 --> 00:01:07,813
[ Laughs ]
34
00:01:07,855 --> 00:01:08,868
When I...
[ Farts ]
35
00:01:08,899 --> 00:01:09,868
[ Laughs ]
36
00:01:09,917 --> 00:01:11,009
Rick, here's...
[ Farts ]
37
00:01:11,042 --> 00:01:12,712
[ Laughs ]
38
00:01:14,259 --> 00:01:15,382
What's going on?
39
00:01:15,454 --> 00:01:17,993
It's hard to tell. He may have
manifested some sort of butt.
40
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:18,954
He can do that?
41
00:01:18,993 --> 00:01:22,009
He is the smartest man
in the universe.
42
00:01:22,078 --> 00:01:23,414
♪♪
43
00:01:23,438 --> 00:01:25,820
*RICK AND MORTY*
Season 03 Episode 01
"The Rickshank Redemption"
44
00:01:29,476 --> 00:01:30,945
[ Sighs ]
45
00:01:31,226 --> 00:01:33,757
I tell ya, the Galactic
Federation taking over Earth...
46
00:01:33,820 --> 00:01:35,624
best thing that's ever happened
to this family.
47
00:01:35,648 --> 00:01:37,312
I just got my sixth promotion
this week,
48
00:01:37,341 --> 00:01:38,621
and I still don't know
what I do.
49
00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:40,328
Who cares how high
they promote you?
50
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,900
Everyone just gets paid
in pills.
51
00:01:41,956 --> 00:01:44,031
Well, when you're not sure
what you do for a living,
52
00:01:44,084 --> 00:01:45,516
you can make your own rules.
53
00:01:45,571 --> 00:01:47,547
Summer, show your father
some respect.
54
00:01:47,643 --> 00:01:49,890
He's pulling down
a six-chewable figure income.
55
00:01:49,915 --> 00:01:50,929
[ Bottle shatters ]
56
00:01:50,954 --> 00:01:53,179
I'll get that in a moment.
How are everyone's pills?
57
00:01:53,245 --> 00:01:54,965
Oh, Morty, you've hardly
touched your pills.
58
00:01:55,018 --> 00:01:57,062
I kind of had big pills
for lunch, and I
59
00:01:57,132 --> 00:01:59,299
[muffled] wasn't gonna eat
any more pills.
60
00:01:59,373 --> 00:02:00,492
[ Gulps ]
61
00:02:00,551 --> 00:02:01,783
Thank you, Conroy.
62
00:02:01,864 --> 00:02:03,093
You spoil us, Conroy.
63
00:02:03,155 --> 00:02:05,195
Grandpa Rick wouldn't put up
with this!
64
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,624
Stop saying his name!
He abandoned us.
65
00:02:07,734 --> 00:02:09,007
Willem Dafoe!
66
00:02:09,098 --> 00:02:11,098
Th-That's the guy I couldn't
think of this morning.
67
00:02:11,134 --> 00:02:12,633
Don't make my mistake, Summer.
68
00:02:12,698 --> 00:02:14,465
Don't deify the people
that leave you.
69
00:02:14,514 --> 00:02:17,593
You'll end up a horse surgeon
in a world controlled by aliens
70
00:02:17,648 --> 00:02:19,211
whose medicine keeps horses
71
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,007
[sobs]
healthy forever.
72
00:02:21,131 --> 00:02:23,586
[ Sniffles ] Horses live longer
than tortoises now.
73
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:24,629
Is that what you want
for yourself?
74
00:02:24,653 --> 00:02:27,375
Maybe I just want you to care
if I run away yelling!
75
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:29,312
Who saved room for pill brûlée?
76
00:02:29,448 --> 00:02:31,014
Ooh!
[ Chuckles ]
77
00:02:31,132 --> 00:02:33,292
I can see why you chose
this family-friendly restaurant
78
00:02:33,375 --> 00:02:34,703
to represent your cerebellum.
79
00:02:34,765 --> 00:02:37,906
So safe, so comfortable,
so Shoney's.
80
00:02:38,095 --> 00:02:40,953
But admit it, Rick... you're
going crazy cooped up in here.
81
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,369
Let's go visit some memories.
82
00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:43,773
Oh, any particular ones?
83
00:02:43,847 --> 00:02:45,117
You want to see my first boner,
84
00:02:45,183 --> 00:02:46,380
or should we go straight
to the moment
85
00:02:46,404 --> 00:02:48,781
I discovered
interdimensional travel?
86
00:02:48,843 --> 00:02:51,132
[ Squeals ] Ooh, your little
flappy doodles are twitching.
87
00:02:51,194 --> 00:02:53,084
Does that mean you're aroused,
or did you just get a signal
88
00:02:53,108 --> 00:02:54,553
that one of your buddies
found a grape?
89
00:02:54,577 --> 00:02:55,702
It's arousal.
90
00:02:55,781 --> 00:02:57,937
Yes, I'd like very much
to visit the memory
91
00:02:57,980 --> 00:02:59,146
of you inventing
your portal gun.
92
00:02:59,170 --> 00:03:01,953
Yeah, well, tough titties.
[ Rumbling ]
93
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:04,773
There's no tougher titty
than a psychotic break, Rick.
94
00:03:04,843 --> 00:03:08,919
Well, that depends on who breaks
first... me or the titty.
95
00:03:10,903 --> 00:03:12,568
Someone special you remember?
96
00:03:12,748 --> 00:03:14,305
Is that your memory of her
out there...
97
00:03:14,373 --> 00:03:15,803
between where you were on 9/11
98
00:03:15,873 --> 00:03:17,475
and your favorite
sports blooper?
99
00:03:17,662 --> 00:03:19,361
[ Whooshing ]
100
00:03:19,849 --> 00:03:23,021
If we stay here, you'll die,
along with all your memories.
101
00:03:23,114 --> 00:03:25,342
If you take me
where I want to go...
102
00:03:25,474 --> 00:03:26,977
she'll be there, too, won't she?
103
00:03:27,170 --> 00:03:29,888
The day I invented the portal
gun is the day I lost her.
104
00:03:30,016 --> 00:03:31,224
Oh, that sounds cool.
105
00:03:31,283 --> 00:03:33,420
I can get what I want
and you can say goodbye.
106
00:03:33,694 --> 00:03:36,311
[ Sighs ]
Fine, but I'm driving.
107
00:03:36,388 --> 00:03:38,508
as an excuse
to strip away our freedom.
108
00:03:41,293 --> 00:03:43,168
Huh? What are you...
What are you doing?
109
00:03:43,235 --> 00:03:45,819
Grandpa Rick must have
some secret lab, right?
110
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,668
With, like, laser guns and
jets packs and a space tank!
111
00:03:48,723 --> 00:03:50,145
And we can go
break him out of prison!
112
00:03:50,169 --> 00:03:51,363
Look at these dead flies!
113
00:03:51,410 --> 00:03:52,972
Maybe if we arrange them
in a certain order,
114
00:03:52,996 --> 00:03:54,846
it plays a hologram
or it opens a secret door.
115
00:03:54,871 --> 00:03:56,363
Summer, you're freaking me out.
116
00:03:56,388 --> 00:03:58,785
I know things have changed
a lot, and I know you miss Rick,
117
00:03:58,824 --> 00:04:00,785
but getting him back
wouldn't make things better.
118
00:04:00,816 --> 00:04:02,296
And, you know,
we're not doing so bad.
119
00:04:02,339 --> 00:04:03,564
We're miserable, Morty!
120
00:04:03,589 --> 00:04:07,105
There's a mandatory curfew,
their weird calendar made me 47,
121
00:04:07,175 --> 00:04:08,878
and they weaponized
the Eiffel Tower!
122
00:04:08,941 --> 00:04:11,339
Hey, I like being 35.
I-I can rent a car now.
123
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,582
Because you suck.
124
00:04:12,699 --> 00:04:14,253
You've been keeping
your lip zipped about it
125
00:04:14,277 --> 00:04:16,082
since Grandpa got arrested,
but the fact is,
126
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,839
you're freaking stoked
to bail on him.
127
00:04:17,901 --> 00:04:19,246
He bails on everybody!
128
00:04:19,338 --> 00:04:20,964
He bailed on Mom
when she was a kid!
129
00:04:21,026 --> 00:04:22,609
He... He bailed
on tiny planet!
130
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,534
And in case I never made this
clear to you, Summer,
131
00:04:24,558 --> 00:04:25,628
he bailed on you.
132
00:04:25,668 --> 00:04:27,480
He left you to rot
in a world that he ruined
133
00:04:27,574 --> 00:04:28,613
because he doesn't care!
134
00:04:28,675 --> 00:04:30,375
Because nobody's special to him,
Summer,
135
00:04:30,459 --> 00:04:31,609
not even himself.
136
00:04:31,665 --> 00:04:34,212
So, if you really want your
grandpa back, grab a shovel.
137
00:04:34,282 --> 00:04:36,854
The one that won't let you down
is buried in your backyard!
138
00:04:36,931 --> 00:04:37,977
You're right!
139
00:04:38,032 --> 00:04:39,515
What?!
No, I'm not right.
140
00:04:39,592 --> 00:04:41,617
I-I was using
ghoulish overkill!
141
00:04:41,694 --> 00:04:43,160
Ghoulish overkill, Summer!
142
00:04:43,237 --> 00:04:44,328
[ Summer grunting ]
143
00:04:44,405 --> 00:04:46,305
[ Thunder crashes ]
144
00:04:46,626 --> 00:04:48,958
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
145
00:04:49,001 --> 00:04:50,024
Whoa, whoa!
146
00:04:50,049 --> 00:04:51,807
[ Thunder crashes ]
147
00:04:52,704 --> 00:04:53,801
Where are we going?
148
00:04:53,847 --> 00:04:55,930
To the day it all began...
and ended.
149
00:04:56,025 --> 00:04:58,310
The moment
that changed everything.
150
00:04:59,288 --> 00:05:01,413
Welcome to McDonald's.
Can I take your order?
151
00:05:01,514 --> 00:05:03,196
Yeah, I'd like to get
a 10-piece McNugget
152
00:05:03,222 --> 00:05:05,079
and a bunch
of the Szechuan sauce.
153
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,770
Like, as much as you're allowed
to give me.
154
00:05:06,794 --> 00:05:09,899
In 1998, they had this promotion
for the Disney film "Mulan,"
155
00:05:09,938 --> 00:05:10,977
where they...
where they...
156
00:05:11,001 --> 00:05:13,055
they created a new sauce
for the McNuggets
157
00:05:13,102 --> 00:05:15,563
called Szechuan sauce,
and it's delicious!
158
00:05:15,634 --> 00:05:17,515
And then they got rid of it,
and now it's gone.
159
00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:19,516
This is the only place we're gonna
be able to try it, is in my memory.
160
00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:21,414
Rick, you're doing this bit
while your brain is melting.
161
00:05:21,438 --> 00:05:23,500
Okay. All right,
all right.
162
00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:27,897
Is that...
Me.
163
00:05:28,235 --> 00:05:30,446
I used to wear blue pants.
164
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:37,201
When'd you make the leap
to interdimensional travel?
165
00:05:37,225 --> 00:05:38,928
I didn't.
I did.
166
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,334
Well, well, well.
167
00:05:41,413 --> 00:05:42,628
If it isn't us.
168
00:05:42,711 --> 00:05:44,800
You know the worst part
about inventing teleportation?
169
00:05:44,824 --> 00:05:46,291
Suddenly, you're able to travel
the whole galaxy,
170
00:05:46,315 --> 00:05:47,623
and the first thing
you learn is,
171
00:05:47,655 --> 00:05:49,669
you're the last guy
to invent teleportation.
172
00:05:49,694 --> 00:05:52,930
Fortunately, you're about to invent
something much more powerful.
173
00:05:53,007 --> 00:05:54,131
[ Squeals ]
174
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:55,532
What?
175
00:05:57,236 --> 00:05:58,636
[ Thunder crashes ]
176
00:06:02,402 --> 00:06:04,405
Summer, nobody has to know
about that.
177
00:06:04,519 --> 00:06:06,503
We could put it right back
and pretend we never saw it,
178
00:06:06,527 --> 00:06:07,967
like we did
with Dad's mannequin leg.
179
00:06:08,027 --> 00:06:10,550
Fine, stay here.
I'll rescue Grandpa myself.
180
00:06:10,589 --> 00:06:12,369
- And how are you gonna do that?
- I don't know yet.
181
00:06:12,393 --> 00:06:13,442
I'll make it up as I go.
182
00:06:13,519 --> 00:06:14,752
That's what Grandpa Rick does.
183
00:06:14,829 --> 00:06:16,058
That's what heroes do.
184
00:06:16,136 --> 00:06:17,847
Y-You want to see
what a hero Rick is?
185
00:06:17,917 --> 00:06:19,714
I-I'll bring you somewhere,
Summer.
186
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,326
Um...
My goodness, children.
187
00:06:23,195 --> 00:06:25,152
[ Sternly ] Relinquish
the illegal technology
188
00:06:25,222 --> 00:06:27,189
to the nearest
Federation representative.
189
00:06:27,266 --> 00:06:29,733
[ Normal voice ] And then
we'll all play Balderdash.
190
00:06:30,736 --> 00:06:33,170
[ Both whimper, scream ]
191
00:06:35,408 --> 00:06:36,807
[ Screaming ]
192
00:06:39,445 --> 00:06:40,999
[ Farting ]
193
00:06:41,255 --> 00:06:45,140
♪♪
194
00:06:45,874 --> 00:06:48,185
[ Grunts ] Oh, my goodness!
Oh, oh! My goo...
195
00:06:48,262 --> 00:06:49,753
[ Crackling ]
196
00:06:51,853 --> 00:06:53,549
Oh, my God.
197
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:56,002
I have that exact same top.
198
00:06:56,127 --> 00:06:57,517
What is this place?
199
00:06:57,596 --> 00:06:59,330
And what's with
"Hunger Games" Summer?
200
00:06:59,369 --> 00:07:02,916
That's my sister.
This used to be my home.
201
00:07:03,486 --> 00:07:05,062
Imagine doing anything you want,
202
00:07:05,127 --> 00:07:07,086
then hopping to a timeline
where you never did it.
203
00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:08,532
Imagine going anywhere, anytime,
204
00:07:08,564 --> 00:07:09,973
with nobody able to stop you.
205
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:11,283
Sounds lonely.
206
00:07:11,421 --> 00:07:13,392
Lonely? Dude,
you have yourself...
207
00:07:13,478 --> 00:07:14,744
your infinite selves.
208
00:07:14,877 --> 00:07:16,166
It's a nonstop party
where all the guests
209
00:07:16,190 --> 00:07:17,767
are the only person we like.
210
00:07:17,853 --> 00:07:19,618
You think it's cool
being the smartest man on Earth,
211
00:07:19,642 --> 00:07:21,071
but once we give you
this technology,
212
00:07:21,095 --> 00:07:23,986
you become the smartest thing
in every conceivable universe...
213
00:07:24,166 --> 00:07:26,423
the Infinite Rick, a god.
214
00:07:26,507 --> 00:07:27,723
Eh, pass.
215
00:07:27,793 --> 00:07:30,611
Excuse me?
Bro, Ricks don't pass on this.
216
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,025
Who do you think you are?
217
00:07:32,111 --> 00:07:34,017
A different kind of Rick,
I guess.
218
00:07:34,158 --> 00:07:36,619
Well, we'll see how long
that lasts.
219
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,728
I heard
sci-fi noises.
220
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,106
Did you make a breakthrough?
221
00:07:42,183 --> 00:07:43,228
Sort of.
222
00:07:43,353 --> 00:07:44,892
I just took
a long look at myself,
223
00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:47,783
and I don't think this
science thing is gonna pay off.
224
00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:51,041
Well, why don't I get Beth
and we'll go out for ice cream?
225
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,447
That, Dianne,
is the last great idea
226
00:07:53,486 --> 00:07:56,017
that will ever be had
in this garage.
227
00:07:56,346 --> 00:07:58,447
[ Munching loudly ]
228
00:07:58,947 --> 00:08:01,869
Good roasted Cronenberg,
I assume.
229
00:08:02,010 --> 00:08:05,119
Mom, you're looking...
feral.
230
00:08:06,127 --> 00:08:07,666
I can't believe Rick did this.
231
00:08:07,744 --> 00:08:09,103
These are the parts
of Rick's adventures
232
00:08:09,127 --> 00:08:11,697
you don't get to see...
the parts he leaves behind.
233
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:13,221
All right,
it's been great, guys.
234
00:08:13,268 --> 00:08:16,533
Um! I really only wanted to stop by
here for a quick "I told ya so."
235
00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:18,674
- So, uh...
- Looking for this?
236
00:08:18,736 --> 00:08:19,784
What are you doing with that?!
237
00:08:19,808 --> 00:08:21,770
It stinks of Rick.
[ Grunts ]
238
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:24,136
No! Why?!
Why would you do that?!
239
00:08:24,141 --> 00:08:26,103
W-W-What is the matter
with you people?!
240
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,353
You can never leave.
She cannot remain.
241
00:08:29,438 --> 00:08:30,994
She stinks of Rick.
242
00:08:31,290 --> 00:08:33,947
[ All scream ]
243
00:08:34,141 --> 00:08:35,549
Hold your fire!
Hold your fire!
244
00:08:35,588 --> 00:08:37,775
I'm Morty C-137.
245
00:08:38,471 --> 00:08:41,275
We detected a compromised
portal gun. Where is your Rick?
246
00:08:41,338 --> 00:08:42,666
- He's in prison.
- Summer.
247
00:08:42,713 --> 00:08:44,197
He got captured
by the Federation
248
00:08:44,252 --> 00:08:45,658
and we were going to rescue him.
249
00:08:45,705 --> 00:08:48,080
Very troubling.
We can't risk Citadel secrets
250
00:08:48,119 --> 00:08:49,674
falling into
the Federation's hands.
251
00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:51,361
We'll dispatch S.E.A.L.
Team Ricks immediately
252
00:08:51,385 --> 00:08:53,557
to break into the prison
holding C-137.
253
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:56,111
- Boo-yah.
- And assassinate him.
254
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,807
Boo-nah?
255
00:08:58,010 --> 00:09:01,228
[ Horn honks ] Come on, girls!
The ice cream's gonna melt.
256
00:09:01,462 --> 00:09:03,353
[ Munching ]
257
00:09:04,017 --> 00:09:05,514
[ Whooshing ]
258
00:09:05,575 --> 00:09:07,334
[ Beeping ]
259
00:09:12,367 --> 00:09:15,691
Nooooooo!
260
00:09:15,999 --> 00:09:18,703
Wow.
This sauce is [bleep] amazing.
261
00:09:18,749 --> 00:09:20,343
You said it was promoting
a movie?
262
00:09:20,389 --> 00:09:22,007
[ Slurping ]
263
00:09:23,967 --> 00:09:26,444
Carry the three, add a two.
264
00:09:26,647 --> 00:09:28,975
I got it.
I [bleep] got it.
265
00:09:29,295 --> 00:09:31,349
Whoa.
I-Is that it, the portal gun?
266
00:09:31,426 --> 00:09:33,660
Yeah.
That's the three lines of math
267
00:09:33,746 --> 00:09:37,082
that separates my life as a man
from my life as an unfeeling ghost.
268
00:09:37,137 --> 00:09:38,276
Awesome-possum.
269
00:09:38,408 --> 00:09:39,657
[ Whirring ]
270
00:09:39,734 --> 00:09:41,167
Mission Control,
you getting this?
271
00:09:41,244 --> 00:09:44,168
Holy shit, yes!
Yes, we got it! Yeah!
272
00:09:44,348 --> 00:09:47,121
Thanks, Rick. I'll try to remember
to shut off the brainalyzer.
273
00:09:47,223 --> 00:09:49,496
Actually, I think
it shuts off automatically
274
00:09:49,535 --> 00:09:50,684
once your brain is liquid.
275
00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:51,911
Don't know, don't care.
276
00:09:51,988 --> 00:09:53,738
Pull me out.
277
00:09:53,965 --> 00:09:55,656
Hey, pull me out.
Can you hear me?
278
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:57,676
- Nope, they cannot.
- Why not?
279
00:09:57,738 --> 00:10:00,707
Because the code you just uploaded
wasn't actually my portal-gun formula,
280
00:10:00,762 --> 00:10:03,309
it was a virus giving me full
control over the brainalyzer.
281
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:05,144
What are you talking about?
This is a memory.
282
00:10:05,168 --> 00:10:06,988
Y-You can't alter details
of a memory.
283
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,128
True, but you can alter
anything you want
284
00:10:09,205 --> 00:10:11,564
about a totally fabricated
origin story.
285
00:10:12,454 --> 00:10:14,438
It's a trap! Abort!
I'm still in his Shoney's!
286
00:10:14,524 --> 00:10:16,478
Repeat... we never left
his Shoney's!
287
00:10:16,571 --> 00:10:18,537
Mission accomplished, boys.
Pull me out.
288
00:10:18,614 --> 00:10:19,697
Roger that.
289
00:10:19,722 --> 00:10:21,366
Okay, have fun in what's left
of my brain.
290
00:10:21,391 --> 00:10:22,562
I'm gonna transfer to yours.
291
00:10:22,587 --> 00:10:24,641
Oh, there's not enough room
for all my genius,
292
00:10:24,712 --> 00:10:26,844
so I'm leaving you with
my fear of wicker furniture,
293
00:10:26,884 --> 00:10:28,148
my desire to play the trumpet,
294
00:10:28,173 --> 00:10:29,743
my tentative plans
to purchase a hat,
295
00:10:29,774 --> 00:10:31,235
and six years
of improv workshops.
296
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,454
Comedy comes in threes.
297
00:10:32,516 --> 00:10:34,335
It's a trap! Abort!
We never left his...
298
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:36,391
[ Farts ]
[ Laughs ]
299
00:10:36,759 --> 00:10:38,291
No!
300
00:10:41,270 --> 00:10:42,620
Another day, another dollar.
301
00:10:42,645 --> 00:10:44,231
Am I great insect creature
or what?!
302
00:10:44,256 --> 00:10:45,272
Congratulations, Agent.
303
00:10:45,297 --> 00:10:46,738
You'll be highly commended
for this.
304
00:10:46,763 --> 00:10:49,091
Always wait for permission
to [burps] feel accomplishment.
305
00:10:49,153 --> 00:10:51,333
That's my motto. One thing
still perplexes me...
306
00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:53,255
why would Rick Sanchez
turn himself in?
307
00:10:53,394 --> 00:10:55,739
Well, I'm just a dumb-ass bug,
but it's possible Rick knew
308
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,534
he'd be interrogated
at this facility,
309
00:10:57,559 --> 00:10:59,051
where we not only keep
our most wanted,
310
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,338
but our most sensitive data.
311
00:11:00,415 --> 00:11:02,513
Anyone here with level-nine
access could [burps]
312
00:11:02,567 --> 00:11:04,255
I don't know,
collapse a government.
313
00:11:04,302 --> 00:11:05,567
I'm just gonna go take a dump.
314
00:11:05,653 --> 00:11:07,716
Is it cool if I use
the level-nine bathroom?
315
00:11:07,794 --> 00:11:09,942
W-W-What's the level-nine
master access code again?
316
00:11:10,013 --> 00:11:12,067
Oh, that's easy...
8-3...
317
00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:13,343
Yeah!
318
00:11:13,428 --> 00:11:15,106
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
in the house!
319
00:11:15,223 --> 00:11:16,825
[ Screaming ]
320
00:11:17,793 --> 00:11:18,992
Hi, Rick.
321
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,404
Bye, Rick.
322
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,033
D-99, y-you okay?
323
00:11:26,058 --> 00:11:27,416
[ Grunting ]
324
00:11:28,184 --> 00:11:31,090
I'm bummed I didn't get to give
that insect dick a test-drive.
325
00:11:31,153 --> 00:11:32,818
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
T-The Council of Ricks sent us.
326
00:11:32,842 --> 00:11:33,887
We have your Morty and Summer.
327
00:11:33,911 --> 00:11:35,339
They're prisoners
on the Citadel.
328
00:11:35,364 --> 00:11:36,458
Great!
[ Grunts ]
329
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,044
Security breach in room 6755.
330
00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:41,223
Lovely. Not only
is my plan screwed up,
331
00:11:41,294 --> 00:11:43,036
I also forgot how to improvise.
332
00:11:43,098 --> 00:11:44,576
- All security people approach.
- [ Grunts ]
333
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,036
Security breach.
334
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,574
A city of Grandpas?
335
00:11:54,636 --> 00:11:55,987
Morty:
It's the Citadel of Ricks.
336
00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:58,285
All the different Ricks
from all the different realities
337
00:11:58,332 --> 00:12:00,151
got together to hide here
from the government.
338
00:12:00,176 --> 00:12:01,793
But if every Rick
hates the government,
339
00:12:01,832 --> 00:12:03,020
why would they hate Grandpa?
340
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:05,043
Because Ricks hate themselves
the most.
341
00:12:05,184 --> 00:12:07,652
And our Rick
is the most... himself.
342
00:12:07,715 --> 00:12:08,949
Not anymore, homey.
343
00:12:09,059 --> 00:12:10,551
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
turned his unibrow
344
00:12:10,606 --> 00:12:12,615
into two brows...
with a bullet.
345
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:13,686
[ Laughter ]
346
00:12:13,752 --> 00:12:16,740
Your Rick's dead!
Your Rick's dead!
347
00:12:16,958 --> 00:12:19,404
♪♪
348
00:12:19,498 --> 00:12:22,865
Sir, Rick D-99 is returning
from the mission alone.
349
00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:25,506
Apparently, S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
suffered heavy casualties.
350
00:12:25,569 --> 00:12:26,631
Bring him in.
351
00:12:26,717 --> 00:12:29,668
He says he'll only talk to
a Rick with higher clearance.
352
00:12:29,745 --> 00:12:31,726
La-di-da.
Give me that.
353
00:12:31,788 --> 00:12:35,202
D-99, this is the commander in
chief of the Citadel's militia.
354
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:37,364
Go[burps]...
good enough.
355
00:12:38,804 --> 00:12:41,586
He's a spy. Blow him up.
I'm gonna go take a shit.
356
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:43,898
Operating
an unregistered portal gun,
357
00:12:43,999 --> 00:12:45,351
radicalizing a Summer,
358
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:47,140
conspiring with
a traitorous Rick.
359
00:12:47,179 --> 00:12:48,327
How do you plead?
360
00:12:48,374 --> 00:12:49,632
How is this a fair trial?
361
00:12:49,718 --> 00:12:51,382
O-Our lawyer
is a Morty.
362
00:12:51,499 --> 00:12:53,757
It's not fair, you have no
rights, and he's not a lawyer.
363
00:12:53,835 --> 00:12:55,367
We just keep him here
because he's fun.
364
00:12:55,413 --> 00:12:56,413
Look at him go.
365
00:12:56,451 --> 00:12:58,033
[ Laughs ]
Ha ha, yeah!
366
00:12:58,142 --> 00:13:00,299
We'll be lenient
if you renounce your Rick.
367
00:13:00,376 --> 00:13:01,814
What say you, Summer?
368
00:13:01,884 --> 00:13:03,181
I say [bleep] you!
369
00:13:03,267 --> 00:13:04,642
My grandpa was my hero.
370
00:13:04,736 --> 00:13:06,658
You killed him
because you were jealous of him.
371
00:13:06,689 --> 00:13:08,361
That's pretty obvious
from the haircuts.
372
00:13:08,423 --> 00:13:10,665
So do what you want to me,
but let my brother go.
373
00:13:10,744 --> 00:13:11,977
He already renounced Rick.
374
00:13:12,054 --> 00:13:13,205
Morty?
375
00:13:13,283 --> 00:13:14,580
[ Whispers indistinctly ]
What?
376
00:13:14,657 --> 00:13:17,259
N-No, I don't want to see
your Pog collection.
377
00:13:17,423 --> 00:13:19,814
I don't renounce Rick,
and I never have.
378
00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:22,259
I was just trying
to protect my sister.
379
00:13:22,353 --> 00:13:23,947
I wanted you to have
a normal life.
380
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,040
That's something you can't have
when Rick shows up.
381
00:13:26,095 --> 00:13:28,712
Everything real turns fake.
Everything right is wrong.
382
00:13:28,797 --> 00:13:31,353
All you know is that you know
nothing and he knows everything.
383
00:13:31,423 --> 00:13:34,197
And, well... well,
he's not a villain, Summer,
384
00:13:34,244 --> 00:13:36,134
but he shouldn't be your hero.
385
00:13:36,244 --> 00:13:38,900
He's more like a demon
or a super [bleep]up god.
386
00:13:38,925 --> 00:13:41,564
Let's not suck the ghost
of his [bleep] too hard.
387
00:13:41,626 --> 00:13:43,400
He was a terrorist,
and now he's dead.
388
00:13:43,438 --> 00:13:45,338
Oh, yeah? If you think
my Rick's dead, he's alive.
389
00:13:45,362 --> 00:13:47,313
And if you think you're safe,
he's coming for you!
390
00:13:47,337 --> 00:13:49,150
[ All grumbling ]
391
00:13:52,025 --> 00:13:53,244
[ Whistling ]
392
00:13:53,447 --> 00:13:55,236
Hey, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing in here?
393
00:13:55,345 --> 00:13:57,348
This area's for teleporting
the entire Citadel
394
00:13:57,433 --> 00:13:59,992
to somewhere else
using only buttons and dials.
395
00:14:00,069 --> 00:14:01,627
Yeah, well, it's a bad idea
396
00:14:01,704 --> 00:14:04,597
to have it designed
that way then, isn't it?
397
00:14:04,674 --> 00:14:07,466
[ Whirring ]
398
00:14:09,604 --> 00:14:11,462
[ Screaming ]
What the [bleep]
399
00:14:11,539 --> 00:14:14,106
We just teleported into
a galactic federal prison.
400
00:14:14,183 --> 00:14:16,534
I'm gonna go take a shit.
[ Alarm blaring ]
401
00:14:16,611 --> 00:14:18,043
Lawyer Morty:
Order in the court!
402
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,845
Whoa! What the hell?!
Oh, my God!
403
00:14:19,922 --> 00:14:21,680
[ Screaming ]
404
00:14:23,252 --> 00:14:25,885
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
No, no, no!
405
00:14:27,947 --> 00:14:31,067
Whoa!
[ Screaming ]
406
00:14:31,357 --> 00:14:32,782
Whoa!
407
00:14:39,789 --> 00:14:43,445
The Citadel's been teleported
to [burps] Federation space.
408
00:14:43,531 --> 00:14:45,729
It's doomed.
This has to be C-137, you guys.
409
00:14:45,806 --> 00:14:47,593
What are we gonna do?!
You know he's coming for us.
410
00:14:47,617 --> 00:14:49,950
All right, calm down!
We have his Summer as a hostage.
411
00:14:50,036 --> 00:14:51,302
Obviously, I get her.
412
00:14:51,372 --> 00:14:54,091
You guys play Rick, Laser,
Scissors for the Morty.
413
00:14:54,956 --> 00:14:56,522
W-W-What the hell
is that?
414
00:14:56,592 --> 00:14:58,050
Payback.
415
00:14:59,153 --> 00:15:00,592
[ Screaming ]
416
00:15:00,820 --> 00:15:02,203
Grandpa Rick!
417
00:15:02,561 --> 00:15:03,950
Duh!
You're alive!
418
00:15:03,975 --> 00:15:06,412
Rick! Morty, take this.
You're gonna need it later.
419
00:15:06,467 --> 00:15:10,295
♪♪
420
00:15:10,716 --> 00:15:12,928
Hold on, hold on.
Whoa!
421
00:15:12,975 --> 00:15:14,436
Council Member:
That's enough, Rick.
422
00:15:14,553 --> 00:15:15,974
What... What's this
supposed to accomplish?
423
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,350
We have infinite grandkids.
424
00:15:17,502 --> 00:15:19,506
You're trying to use Disney bucks
at a Caesar's Palace here.
425
00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:22,055
That's a bluff.
He's bluffing, sir. He loves me.
426
00:15:22,351 --> 00:15:25,128
You're a rogue Rick...
irrational, passionate.
427
00:15:25,237 --> 00:15:27,458
You love your grandkids.
You came to rescue them.
428
00:15:27,590 --> 00:15:29,273
I came to kill you, bro.
429
00:15:29,350 --> 00:15:30,808
That's not even
my original Summer.
430
00:15:30,885 --> 00:15:33,093
Oh, my God. He's not bluffing.
He's not bluffing!
431
00:15:33,171 --> 00:15:34,867
- R-Rick?
- Why not shoot through her?
432
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:37,265
20 yards, nine-gauge
plasma pistol,
433
00:15:37,335 --> 00:15:39,585
My first shot would liquify
her insides and injure you,
434
00:15:39,632 --> 00:15:40,985
second shot adds recoil.
435
00:15:41,062 --> 00:15:43,505
The risk to me is minimized
if I wait for you to shoot her,
436
00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:44,863
which I'm encouraging you to do.
437
00:15:44,887 --> 00:15:46,395
What the [bleep] Or let her go,
438
00:15:46,465 --> 00:15:48,053
which I will reward
with a quicker death.
439
00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:49,434
Because you love her!
440
00:15:49,556 --> 00:15:52,497
Because it's incentive for you
to give me my cleanest shot,
441
00:15:52,630 --> 00:15:54,411
which will be your
least painful death.
442
00:15:54,497 --> 00:15:56,817
But if you want to die slower
than that, I'm super into it.
443
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,723
All you got to do to get
that started is kill the girl.
444
00:15:58,747 --> 00:16:01,130
I hate you!
Not an issue, sweetie.
445
00:16:01,239 --> 00:16:03,044
That's enough!
Drop the gun, Rick!
446
00:16:03,091 --> 00:16:04,848
Morty, I know you're too stupid
to get this,
447
00:16:04,903 --> 00:16:06,692
but you're really [bleep]
this up right now.
448
00:16:06,778 --> 00:16:09,005
I'm not letting you let my sister die!
Drop the gun!
449
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:11,075
I wasn't gonna let her die,
you [bleep] moron!
450
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,153
Ha!
Aww.
451
00:16:12,208 --> 00:16:13,934
The point is he thought
I was going to.
452
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,184
I totally did, by the way.
453
00:16:15,247 --> 00:16:16,762
You're a [bleep] moron, Morty.
454
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,114
Morty, you [bleep] idiot!
455
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,964
You're a serious
[bleep] idiot, Morty!
456
00:16:19,989 --> 00:16:21,109
You basically killed us all!
457
00:16:21,136 --> 00:16:22,788
You're the worst! You're
as dumb as a bag of sand.
458
00:16:22,812 --> 00:16:26,403
[ All yelling ]
459
00:16:26,714 --> 00:16:28,206
[ Screaming ]
460
00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:30,301
Who's stupid now, bitch?!
461
00:16:30,426 --> 00:16:32,311
Morty, we just got him back!
462
00:16:32,388 --> 00:16:33,571
[ Laughs ]
463
00:16:33,648 --> 00:16:34,879
That was amazing, Morty.
464
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,223
Oh, my God.
Wow.
465
00:16:36,417 --> 00:16:37,684
Okay, let's wrap this...
466
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,153
Good job, Morty.
Let's go, kids.
467
00:16:41,230 --> 00:16:42,590
What?!
What happened?
468
00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:44,145
Oldest Rick trick in the book.
469
00:16:44,199 --> 00:16:46,325
"Fake gun,
shoot me in standoff."
470
00:16:46,402 --> 00:16:47,996
- Brilliant.
- Ha, yeah.
471
00:16:48,168 --> 00:16:50,129
G-Good thing
I saw that note.
472
00:16:50,206 --> 00:16:53,965
♪♪
473
00:16:56,304 --> 00:16:58,095
Can't we just portal home?
474
00:16:58,204 --> 00:16:59,905
Not until I finish
what I started.
475
00:16:59,982 --> 00:17:02,841
And that is how you get
level-nine access
476
00:17:02,918 --> 00:17:04,343
without a password.
477
00:17:04,846 --> 00:17:06,174
Freeze!
478
00:17:06,409 --> 00:17:08,129
Employee of the month,
ladies and gentlemen.
479
00:17:08,159 --> 00:17:10,346
So, what are you doing
with level-nine access anyways?
480
00:17:10,417 --> 00:17:13,025
- Destroying the [burps] galactic government.
- Awesome! Whoa, cool!
481
00:17:13,049 --> 00:17:15,041
Are you going to set all their
nukes to target each other?
482
00:17:15,065 --> 00:17:17,044
Ooh, or... or reprogram
their military portals
483
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,719
to disintegrate
their entire space fleet?
484
00:17:18,744 --> 00:17:20,544
Good pitches, kids.
I'm almost proud.
485
00:17:20,677 --> 00:17:22,931
But watch closely as Grandpa
topples an empire
486
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:26,185
by changing a one...
to a zero.
487
00:17:28,921 --> 00:17:31,914
Mr. President, the Blemflarck's
value just dropped to nothing.
488
00:17:31,997 --> 00:17:35,146
What do you mean? I mean, our single
centralized galactic currency
489
00:17:35,185 --> 00:17:38,535
just went from being worth one
of itself to zero of itself.
490
00:17:38,612 --> 00:17:40,693
[ Panicked murmuring ]
Calm down, people.
491
00:17:40,771 --> 00:17:42,848
Deploy the galactic militia
and declare martial law.
492
00:17:42,925 --> 00:17:44,247
Yes, sir.
493
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:45,644
Uh, what should I pay them with?
494
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,591
Their payment is the honor
they'll feel to serve their...
495
00:17:48,684 --> 00:17:50,755
Wait. Who's paying me
to yell at this guy?
496
00:17:50,833 --> 00:17:52,983
I can answer that...
for money.
497
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:54,613
I never thought I'd live to see this day.
[ Panicked murmuring ]
498
00:17:54,637 --> 00:17:55,928
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen!
499
00:17:56,044 --> 00:17:58,436
There's a solution here
you're not seeing.
500
00:18:01,810 --> 00:18:03,422
Give me your jacket!
Give me those pants!
501
00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:05,935
[ Indistinct shouting ]
502
00:18:06,856 --> 00:18:09,333
[ Indistinct shouting ]
503
00:18:09,747 --> 00:18:11,926
Insectoid Employee: There's
no rich people or poor people!
504
00:18:11,950 --> 00:18:13,304
I want more jackets!
505
00:18:13,381 --> 00:18:15,927
He who controls the pants
controls the galaxy!
506
00:18:16,158 --> 00:18:18,484
[ Whimpering ]
507
00:18:20,888 --> 00:18:22,321
[ Gasps ]
508
00:18:25,226 --> 00:18:26,859
[ Whimpering ]
509
00:18:30,703 --> 00:18:34,961
No longer will the insects
have domain over surface world!
510
00:18:41,075 --> 00:18:42,692
[ Whimpering ]
511
00:18:42,786 --> 00:18:44,762
Jerry, what the hell
is happening?!
512
00:18:44,825 --> 00:18:46,489
The galactic government
collapsed.
513
00:18:46,536 --> 00:18:47,629
Are you okay?
514
00:18:47,701 --> 00:18:49,554
Look, I-I'm not proud to share
this, but the truth is,
515
00:18:49,578 --> 00:18:51,348
I just kept crawling,
and it kept working.
516
00:18:51,527 --> 00:18:53,458
[ Gasps ] Oh, I'm
glad you're okay.
517
00:18:53,559 --> 00:18:57,322
Are we ever going to stop paying
for indulging your father?
518
00:18:57,399 --> 00:19:00,150
Our children, our planet,
our jobs?
519
00:19:00,227 --> 00:19:01,693
Is there anything left to lose?
520
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:04,062
Just each other,
and I'll never let you go.
521
00:19:04,139 --> 00:19:07,166
And I'm so sorry
I ever did this to us.
522
00:19:07,735 --> 00:19:09,960
Guess who dismantled
the government?
523
00:19:10,313 --> 00:19:12,057
Please don't leave me again.
I never will, baby.
524
00:19:12,081 --> 00:19:13,972
I was right.
He turned himself in on purpose.
525
00:19:14,049 --> 00:19:15,299
It was all part of his plan!
526
00:19:15,376 --> 00:19:16,942
Jerry, is there any
light beer left?
527
00:19:17,019 --> 00:19:18,710
It's insane what you miss
in prison.
528
00:19:18,787 --> 00:19:20,637
Um... okay.
No.
529
00:19:20,729 --> 00:19:22,940
No, no, no.
Foot down time.
530
00:19:23,019 --> 00:19:24,464
No, you're right.
Where's the vodka?
531
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,652
Beth, it's him or me!
532
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,524
Seems like you guys
need some privacy.
533
00:19:32,601 --> 00:19:34,926
I'll, uh...
I'll be in the garage.
534
00:19:37,992 --> 00:19:40,312
What the [bleep]
Not cool, Jerry!
535
00:19:40,398 --> 00:19:42,680
A man's garage is his castle.
536
00:19:42,883 --> 00:19:44,211
[ Beeps ]
537
00:19:49,781 --> 00:19:51,410
Jerry's going to...
538
00:19:51,435 --> 00:19:53,336
spend some time...
539
00:19:53,509 --> 00:19:54,624
divorced.
540
00:19:54,654 --> 00:19:56,758
Oh, I-I'm sorry
to hear that, sweetie.
541
00:19:56,789 --> 00:19:58,328
I hope I had nothing
to do with that.
542
00:19:58,390 --> 00:20:00,859
Oh, God, Dad, that is not
your burden to bear.
543
00:20:00,945 --> 00:20:03,380
I feel terrible
that I misjudged you.
544
00:20:03,758 --> 00:20:05,320
This is gonna be good for Jerry.
545
00:20:05,430 --> 00:20:07,754
- For everybody.
- For everybody.
546
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,800
- [ Text whooshes ]
- I better... tend to Jerry
547
00:20:10,886 --> 00:20:13,269
before he changes his mind
and doesn't move out.
548
00:20:13,410 --> 00:20:15,535
I will leave you two
to your adventures.
549
00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:16,925
Oh, my God. Nancy says
550
00:20:16,977 --> 00:20:19,761
they're drawing and quartering
aliens in the school courtyard,
551
00:20:19,847 --> 00:20:21,996
and it technically counts
as patriotism.
552
00:20:22,105 --> 00:20:25,097
Geez! Are my parents seriously
gonna get divorced?
553
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,298
All right, Rick,
I'm gonna go to my...
554
00:20:26,322 --> 00:20:28,261
Not so fast, Morty.
You heard your mom.
555
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:30,879
We've got adventures to go on,
Morty... just you and me...
556
00:20:30,933 --> 00:20:32,941
and sometimes your sister
and sometimes your mom,
557
00:20:32,988 --> 00:20:34,066
but never your dad.
558
00:20:34,091 --> 00:20:36,058
You want to know why, Morty?
Because he crossed me.
559
00:20:36,082 --> 00:20:37,941
Okay, take it easy, Rick.
T-T-That's dark.
560
00:20:37,988 --> 00:20:39,066
Oh, it gets darker, Morty.
561
00:20:39,136 --> 00:20:41,332
Welcome to the darkest year
of our adventures.
562
00:20:41,402 --> 00:20:43,465
First thing that's different...
no more Dad, Morty.
563
00:20:43,490 --> 00:20:44,800
- Oh, geez.
- He threatened to turn me
564
00:20:44,824 --> 00:20:46,026
in to the government, so I made him
565
00:20:46,050 --> 00:20:47,208
and the government go away.
566
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,317
Oh [bleep]
567
00:20:48,342 --> 00:20:51,058
I've rep[burps]laced them both
as the de facto patriarch
568
00:20:51,136 --> 00:20:52,799
of your family and your universe.
569
00:20:52,824 --> 00:20:54,169
- Your mom wouldn't have accepted me
- Oh, man.
570
00:20:54,193 --> 00:20:55,753
if I came home
without you and your sister,
571
00:20:55,777 --> 00:20:57,356
so now you know the real
reason I rescued you.
572
00:20:57,380 --> 00:20:58,687
- I just took over the family,
- Oh!
573
00:20:58,711 --> 00:21:00,402
- Morty, and if you tell your mom or sister
- Oh, man...
574
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,442
I said any of this, I'll deny it
and they'll take my side
575
00:21:02,466 --> 00:21:03,532
- because I'm a hero, Morty.
- I'll deny it.
576
00:21:03,556 --> 00:21:04,534
- And now you're gonna have to go...
- Oh.
577
00:21:04,578 --> 00:21:05,958
- and do whatever I say, Morty,
- Oh!
578
00:21:05,982 --> 00:21:07,990
forever! And I'll...
I'll go out and I'll find
579
00:21:08,029 --> 00:21:11,260
some more of that "Mulan" Szechuan
Teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty.
580
00:21:11,330 --> 00:21:12,641
- Because that's that's
- What are you talking about?
581
00:21:12,665 --> 00:21:13,865
what this is all about, Morty.
582
00:21:13,947 --> 00:21:15,374
- That's my one-armed man!
- Szechuan?
583
00:21:15,398 --> 00:21:17,482
I'm not driven by avenging
my dead family, Morty!
584
00:21:17,507 --> 00:21:19,444
That was fake.
I-I-I'm driven by finding
585
00:21:19,469 --> 00:21:21,467
- that McNugget sauce. I want that "Mulan"
- McNuggets?
586
00:21:21,491 --> 00:21:22,834
- McNugget sauce, Morty!
- Come on.
587
00:21:22,858 --> 00:21:24,170
- That's my series arc, Morty.
- What the hell?
588
00:21:24,194 --> 00:21:25,413
If it takes nine seasons,
589
00:21:25,460 --> 00:21:28,371
- I want my McNugget dipping sauce, Morty.
- What are you talking about, Rick?
590
00:21:28,395 --> 00:21:29,445
That's what's gonna take
591
00:21:29,470 --> 00:21:30,881
- us all the way to the end, Morty.
- What are you talking about?
592
00:21:30,905 --> 00:21:32,495
Season... Nine more seasons, Morty.
593
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,171
Nine more seasons until I get
594
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,811
- that dipping Szechuan sauce...
- What is that?!
595
00:21:35,835 --> 00:21:37,192
For 97 more years, Morty!
596
00:21:37,263 --> 00:21:39,779
- I want that McNugget sauce, Morty!
- What are you talking about?!
597
00:21:39,803 --> 00:21:43,774
♪♪
Synchronized by srjanapala
598
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:51,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
599
00:22:14,964 --> 00:22:16,088
Is it ready?
600
00:22:16,192 --> 00:22:18,092
Yes.
We can bring it online now.
601
00:22:18,154 --> 00:22:19,479
Do it.
602
00:22:22,934 --> 00:22:25,549
I am Phoenix Person.
603
00:22:25,649 --> 00:22:27,682
Phoenix Person?
Is that what we settled on?
604
00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:29,481
I thought we all agreed
on Cyber Bird.
605
00:22:29,506 --> 00:22:31,206
You said you didn't care
what he was called
606
00:22:31,252 --> 00:22:32,710
as long as we brought him back.
607
00:22:32,740 --> 00:22:34,131
Yeah, but Phoenix Person?
608
00:22:34,208 --> 00:22:35,787
Fine [bleep] it.
Who cares?
609
00:22:35,841 --> 00:22:36,801
[ Grunts ]
610
00:22:36,826 --> 00:22:38,718
Ka-kaw!
610
00:22:39,305 --> 00:22:45,218
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