1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 2 00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:26,625 Jerry! Jerry, come on! 3 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,160 We got to go! You got to come with me, Jerry! 4 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,595 Rick? It's important, Jerry. 5 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,497 The fate of the galaxy rests on your shoulders. 6 00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:32,998 Let's go. Put some pants on. 7 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,833 N-Never mind, there's no time for pants, Jerry. 8 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,402 I'll make you a pair of pants on the way. 9 00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:38,337 It's a Rick and Jerry adventure! 10 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,105 Rick and Jerry episode! 11 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,540 Then I thought, "Hey, what about Jerry? 12 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,408 He's... He's good with regular folk." 13 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,677 This is a real situation where... where... 14 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:20,245 Where Jerry could really shine. 15 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,814 "He's a master convincer." 16 00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:24,349 Rick, I'm not an idiot. I know what this is. 17 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:25,951 Oh. Okay, well, I told Morty, 18 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:28,287 "Look, parents get divorced. They get sad. He'll be fine," 19 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:31,156 but I think he's worried you're gonna, you know... Pbht! 20 00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:32,591 And you know how Morty gets when he gets emotional. 21 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,159 It impedes my work. 22 00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,994 So, I told him I'd take you out and give you a win. 23 00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,629 Wait. My son asked you to take me 24 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,498 on some kind of pity adventure 25 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,033 to keep me from killing myself? 26 00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:42,468 Wait, w-what did you think it was? 27 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,036 An execution. 28 00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:46,138 Geez! You really do need a win. 29 00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,606 No! I-I don't know. 30 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,174 I mean, you never made me the pants, so... 31 00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:50,742 So, you thought I was gonna drive you 32 00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:51,877 into the middle of the galaxy 33 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,378 and shove you into the vacuum of space 34 00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:54,613 with your dick hanging out? 35 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,781 And we're seeing how you'd act 36 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,116 if that were about to happen? 37 00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:58,884 I mean I'll make you the pants right now. 38 00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:00,252 Take me two seconds to make you pants. 39 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,820 I have pants at home! Jerry, if I make pants, 40 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,455 they'll be better than your pants at home. 41 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,756 Also, if I wanted to kill you... 42 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,458 Yeah, I get it. It would be amazing. 43 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,759 Please, take me home. 44 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,394 I'll tell my son we had an amazing adventure. 45 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,662 Well, if it's all the same, 46 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,864 could we go get our story straight? 47 00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:13,532 Because you're a terrible liar. 48 00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,100 You called me a master convincer! 49 00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,468 You believed me? 50 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,709 Huh. This seems... kind of fancy. 51 00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:25,444 Jerry, for all you know, this is the equivalent 52 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:26,712 of an alien truck stop. 53 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,013 You have no frame of reference. 54 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:29,581 You're in a universe beyond your imagining. 55 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,617 But, yes, it is super fancy. 56 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,152 I mean, my job here is to make Morty happy. 57 00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:35,053 I'm not gonna take you somewhere dangerous. 58 00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,256 Rick Sanchez. 59 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,491 I told you if I ever saw your face in here again, 60 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,093 I would stick you like the pig you are. 61 00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:44,296 Shnoopy Bloopers, I told you if you tried... 62 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,999 There'd be two funerals. 63 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,934 Aaah!! 64 00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:51,470 Someone? 65 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:54,339 Uh, someone? Someone! 66 00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,878 My friend! It has been too long. 67 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,513 Oh, it's great to see you again, buddy! 68 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,749 Yeah, you're doing it. 69 00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:05,617 Mr. Sanchez gets anything he wants! 70 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,586 The resort's covered in an immortality field. 71 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,321 You can't die here. That's the gimmick. 72 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,660 Okay, but still... Bad parenting. 73 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,428 Hey, rich a-holes are rich a-holes. 74 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,863 They all pay top dollar to come here 75 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,731 and enjoy a consequence-free vacation. 76 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,466 No death, no disease, no dismemberment. 77 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:23,802 Can't even have a heart attack. 78 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,237 Got it. The perfect place 79 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:26,905 to take the most fragile being in the universe. 80 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,674 I can tell you expect me to refute that, 81 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:29,875 but it's right on the money. 82 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,076 If I come home without you, 83 00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:32,844 I doubt Morty's gonna let me off the hook. 84 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,780 Yeah, but what if you came home with Jeff Goldblum. 85 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,081 Jeff Goldblum? 86 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,516 What the are you talking about, Jerry? 87 00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,318 Jesus! 88 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,886 Holy shit! 89 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,421 Yo, what's up, "Big Chill"?! 90 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,089 Don't go into the telepod! 91 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,159 Hey, maybe we would have fun on a fake adventure. 92 00:03:47,161 --> 00:03:48,860 On a fake adventure. 93 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,696 Speaking of... What are we gonna tell Morty? 94 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,231 I don't know. But whatever it is, 95 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,566 we're gonna need a couple more of these babies! 96 00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,537 What's wrong? 97 00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,572 Mom, do you think I'm hot? 98 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:04,209 I... don't think that's something that matters. 99 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:05,510 So, I'm not hot?! 100 00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:07,913 I'm saying the part of you that cares about that 101 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,715 is a part you shouldn't give any energy to. 102 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:11,083 That's not an answer! 103 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,884 Because I'm not an issue of Cosmo, okay? 104 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,386 I'm your mother and a doctor, and... 105 00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,721 I'm hideous! 106 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,390 Geez. What's with her? 107 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,858 Teenage-girl stuff. 108 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,995 Is that a... hoof collage? 109 00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:26,265 It's perfectly legal, if that's what you're wondering. 110 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,900 Cool... zies. 111 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,770 "We just don't have anything in common any more, Summer." 112 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,138 Oh, yeah, Ethan? 113 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,140 What do you have in common with Tricia Lange? 114 00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:37,042 A mutual love of French cinema? 115 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,477 The belief that a carbon tax 116 00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:41,346 is the only viable solution to climate change? 117 00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:44,650 Or could it be her massive stripper titties?! 118 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,585 There it is. 119 00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:49,388 Boob-ya! 120 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,256 And that's when Malakai the Squid came, 121 00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:56,628 rips off his face, and beneath it is my face. 122 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,830 I liked it. Thank you, sir. 123 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,399 Yeah, of course he likes it. Look at him. 124 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,634 Mother got two heads and three trunks. 125 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,835 All right, we'll put a pin in it. 126 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,203 I'm gonna go take a leak. 127 00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,180 What the...?! 128 00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,288 My hands are dry! My hands are dry! 129 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,427 My name is Risotto Groupon. 130 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:31,029 I am the assistant general manager of the restaurant. 131 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,698 Do you have any comment cards, 132 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,132 because I might have some thoughts. 133 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,968 My kingdom was usurped by force 134 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,303 with weapons and technology 135 00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,038 supplied by your father-in-law! 136 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,407 Hey, he usurped my kingdom, too, man. 137 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:45,210 He basically got me kicked out of my home, stole my family. 138 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,479 Then we are brothers, and you have wondered 139 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,715 what your life could have been without Rick. 140 00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,016 Wondered? Sure. 141 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,051 I mean, I've wondered about having a vagina. 142 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,453 Would you help me kill him? 143 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,787 What? No! 144 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,622 He's my wife's father. Move on. 145 00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:59,658 Do you... like theme-park rides? 146 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,326 Oh, you really moved on. 147 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:05,397 There is a popular attraction here called the Whirly Dirly. 148 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:08,166 Between the first whirly and the third dirly, 149 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:11,269 the ride dips just outside the immortality field. 150 00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,472 You're asking me to lure Rick to his death? 151 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:16,341 I'm only asking you to go on a ride with Rick, 152 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:19,544 get off the ride without Rick, and go home to your family, 153 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,880 where you can... wonder about having a vagina. 154 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,782 Okay, okay, that was a very specific example 155 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,083 pulled from thin air. 156 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,485 I don't want to be known as the vagina guy. 157 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,887 Risotto, you're needed. Someone ordered 158 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,223 the Nuzzy Guzzy Fresh and Fluzzy Special. 159 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,992 Look, I'm not like Rick, 160 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:36,228 so you're free to do as you please. 161 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,263 But there comes a time in every man's life 162 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,232 when he must choose the foundation 163 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,334 on which his legacy will be built... 164 00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:45,737 One of compromise or one of blood. 165 00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:02,053 Oh, yeah. 166 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,256 That's what I'm talking about. 167 00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:08,360 Oops! Okay, a little more on the other side then. 168 00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:09,694 Oh, come on! 169 00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,563 Oh, geez! 170 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,231 Aah! Stop! 171 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:16,268 So, the hospital just let you walk right out of there 172 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:17,669 with horse parts in a bag? 173 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:18,837 For Christ's sakes, Morty, 174 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:19,905 women going through a divorce 175 00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,106 need a creative outlet. 176 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,707 What was that? 177 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,311 Summer! 178 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,148 I'm coming, Summer! 179 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,351 What the hell happened?! 180 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,490 How do we get her back to normal?! 181 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,959 I don't know, man! This thing is pretty complicated. 182 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,394 I-I'm gonna call Rick. 183 00:07:42,396 --> 00:07:44,329 Well, hold on. We can't just call your grandpa 184 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,797 whenever there's a problem. 185 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,365 We can handle this ourselves. 186 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,301 I mean, I don't see the point in trying to. 187 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,203 This is obviously Rick-level 188 00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:52,838 I have a medical degree. 189 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,306 Is that what this is about? 190 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,841 L-Like, you want to prove yourself? 191 00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:58,009 Oh, it's not about anything, Morty. How dare you? 192 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,544 Okay, good. Then I'll just call... Ow! 193 00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:01,379 Morty, I need this. 194 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,549 Hey, Jerry, triple trunks here says he knows a place 195 00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:06,852 where the ladies drop panties for anyone bi-pedal. 196 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,119 Yeah, I'm not really interested. 197 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,921 My heart still belongs to Beth. 198 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,423 Oh. Huh. Okay. 199 00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:14,392 What, you don't think I have a shot? 200 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:15,494 I didn't say that. 201 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,629 Excuse me. May I have another one of these? 202 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,164 Coming right up. 203 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,033 Hmm, things weren't always so bad between Beth and me. 204 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,802 We had some good times when we were younger. 205 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,203 Oh, yeah, I bet. 206 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,872 That's how teenage pregnancy happens, my friend. 207 00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,440 Yeah, no. 208 00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:30,842 Things were pretty great, even until a couple of years ago. 209 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,177 Jerry, I get it. 210 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,812 That's around the time I moved in with you guys. 211 00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,146 Oh, I guess you're right. 212 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,681 Jerry, you know, I hope you're not suggesting 213 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,583 that I had anything to do with your marriage breaking up, 214 00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:41,386 because there are some major issues between you and Beth 215 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,388 that have been there since you guys met. 216 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,859 Hey, to new beginnings. 217 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,561 To the Whirly Dirly. 218 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,129 The Whirly Dirly? 219 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,598 All right, what's going on here? 220 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,433 When did you get cool?! 221 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,003 When you stole my wife! 222 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,204 I should have done that a long time ago! 223 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,006 We're going on the Whirly Dirly! 224 00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,574 Whirly Dirly, baby. 225 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,343 Aha, look at this. 226 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,745 It says "normalize." 227 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,213 I bet if we just press that... 228 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,248 But... if the machine was made by spider people, 229 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,083 normal would mean eight legs. 230 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,052 Oh, God! Are you gonna go on another spiel 231 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,987 like you did with the flesh-colored crayon? 232 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,390 I'm pretty sure "normalize" will make her normal. 233 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:22,093 Aah! 234 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,062 I'd call that progress. 235 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,564 She's huge! And normal! 236 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,165 I'm not normal! 237 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,333 Mom! 238 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,501 Okay, this says "reverse." Done and done. 239 00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:31,236 I don't think that's a good idea. 240 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,904 Oh, come on! What else could "reverse" possibly mean? 241 00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:35,874 Aah! 242 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,909 Mom, call Rick! 243 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,344 Thank you. 244 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,845 There's a customer-service number on here. 245 00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:42,113 Mom! 246 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,453 Oh, man. This is gonna be awesome! 247 00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:51,122 I got to hand it to you, Jerry. This was a solid idea. 248 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:52,357 Uh, yeah. Uh-huh. 249 00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,359 And you know what? I'll cop to it. 250 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:55,860 I put a lot of strain on your marriage. 251 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,696 It wasn't fair. I'm sorry. 252 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,598 What?! I didn't respect your marriage. 253 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,132 I certainly didn't do it any favors. 254 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,601 And for what it's worth, 255 00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,769 I'll apologize to Beth for it when we get home. 256 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,038 Whoo! Whirly Dirly! Yeah! 257 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,373 Stop the ride! We got to get off. 258 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,808 What are you talking about, buddy? 259 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,343 We got to get out of this thing. We got to get out! 260 00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:13,578 Jerry, come on, man! 261 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,113 We haven't even gotten to the first whirly. 262 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,415 No, no, this sucks. It's so boring. 263 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,950 I mean, I'm falling asleep here. 264 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,619 Let's just get out and crawl down the sides. 265 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,529 Uh, get down! Duck down! 266 00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,031 It's more fun when you scrunch down. 267 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,133 Jerry, what the... 268 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,636 Oh 269 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,587 Rick, up here! There's a spot where you can kill him! 270 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:59,290 Good call, Jerry! 271 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,825 Hey, how'd you know about that? 272 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,127 Uh... 273 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:19,778 Lisa? 274 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:30,221 So, uh, Jerry, big fan of the Whirly Dirly, are you? 275 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,390 Not anymore. Obviously. 276 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:35,226 But when you were, how did you know about it? 277 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:42,033 We had a deal, Jerry Smith. 278 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:47,038 It's a really common name. 279 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,541 Now, take it easy, Rick. 280 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,176 You've been in a serious roller-coaster crash. 281 00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:52,777 It's... It's no time to be thinking about 282 00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:55,280 who did or didn't play a role in your attempted murder. 283 00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,015 Get it off me! 284 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:58,316 It's eating me! 285 00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:59,884 Look, I confess, okay? 286 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,519 They told me about all the bad stuff you did to this planet 287 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,588 and reminded me of all the bad stuff you did to me. 288 00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,156 But then you said you were sorry, and I realized 289 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:06,558 you're not a monster... Not like this thing. 290 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,359 It's got me good. 291 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,594 This is a mislead, right? 292 00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:11,396 You're inventing a thing to save me. 293 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,797 That would be called a knife, Jerry. 294 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,265 It's been invented. 295 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,134 I'm making a way out of here... One seat ought to do it. 296 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,635 I'm sorry. I-I made a mistake. 297 00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:20,171 I won't do it again! Nobody ever does. 298 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,275 You self-righteous piece of 299 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,844 You took my family! 300 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,278 I took your family? 301 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,813 Who do you think had more taken from them 302 00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:30,081 when you shot 20 ccs 303 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,950 of liquid dream-killer into my daughter? 304 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:34,819 She was Rick's daughter, Jerry. She had options! 305 00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:36,187 Oof. 306 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,223 That all ended because she felt sorry for you. 307 00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,358 You act like prey, but you're a predator! 308 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,093 You use pity to lure in your victims! 309 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,428 That's how you survive! 310 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,763 I survive because I know everything. 311 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,798 That snakes survives because children wander off, 312 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,433 and you survive because people think, 313 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,069 "Oh, this poor piece of. He never gets a break." 314 00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,904 I can't stand the deafening silent wails 315 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,305 of his wilting soul. 316 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,907 "I guess I'll hire him or marry him." 317 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:59,444 - Rick! - Rick! 318 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,551 I knew you wouldn't let me die. 319 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:07,986 That was never an option. 320 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,454 Because you never had a son. 321 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,055 No, because I need a living organism 322 00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:13,958 coated in gibble snake bile to attract a shmooglite runner. 323 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,027 Wait, what's happening? Use that confusion, Jerry. 324 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:19,264 It'll make you wriggle more like an abandoned newborn. 325 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:22,233 Jesus Christ! 326 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:25,236 What the Rick?! 327 00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:27,739 Help! Help me! 328 00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:30,542 Aaah! 329 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,419 There's a space port 20 miles south. 330 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,488 We'll be able to board a galaxy class cruise ship 331 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,889 and jump through a wormhole that will put us 332 00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:47,425 within spitting distance of the Milky Way. 333 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:48,860 But, hey, it's about the journey, 334 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,962 not the destination, right, Jerry? 335 00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:57,068 Just stay put, sweetie! Mom's still on hold. 336 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,137 Morphizer customer service. How may I help you? 337 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,439 Yes, I'm having a little trouble with one of your machines. 338 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,107 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am. 339 00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:05,944 Do you see a little compartment on the side of the machine? 340 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,545 Let me check. Yes, got it. 341 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:08,880 Mom? 342 00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:11,449 Great! Now, do you see the little button next to it? 343 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,384 I do. Give that button a push. 344 00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,053 Okay. Mom, listen to me! 345 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,355 We're free!! 346 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:20,225 Okay, so I pushed the button, and three little men ran out. 347 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,093 What do I do next? 348 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,461 Hello? 349 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:24,662 I think we got disconnected. 350 00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:25,763 Morty! 351 00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:26,898 Don't "Morty" me! 352 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,600 I tricked Rick into taking Dad on an adventure 353 00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:29,801 because I thought I could get a break 354 00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,436 from this kind of but no! 355 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,638 Like father, like damn daughter! 356 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,874 You want to be like Rick, congratulations! 357 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:39,010 You're just as arrogant and just as irresponsible! 358 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,345 Everything okay here? 359 00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:41,946 Mind your own damn business, Gene! 360 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:44,749 I'm having a conversation with my mother here! 361 00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,918 Kissing Rick's ass isn't gonna help him keep him around, 362 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,854 Mom, but it will help you lose everyone else. 363 00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,689 Like I lost Summer. 364 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,391 Hey, you haven't lost her yet. 365 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,360 No, I definitely did. She's gone. 366 00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,028 God damn it! 367 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,398 Go ahead. 368 00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,102 Oh, come on. What's happening? 369 00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:07,338 Your friend is class C or above cybernetic augmentations. 370 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,873 Emphasis on the above. 371 00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:10,408 In any case, he needs to be neutralized. 372 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,676 What?! Wait! 373 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:12,744 Ugh! 374 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,779 Brain hurty. 375 00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,014 What did you do? 376 00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,082 It's a synaptic dampener that blocks violent tendencies 377 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,384 and controversial thought. 378 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,519 He will now be an ideal passenger. 379 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,788 I want cookies and a 90-minute cut of "Avatar." 380 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,323 Seriously? 381 00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:27,091 Quit it. It'll wear off in six hours. 382 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,794 It's cheaper than banning dangerous people from flights. 383 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,596 I mean, let everybody buy a ticket, right? 384 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,398 Otherwise, the terrorists win. 385 00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,203 Aah! 386 00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:41,806 I'm sorry I'm not a classic maternal archetype. 387 00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,675 Okay, I don't know what to do when you people come to me 388 00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:45,543 with your weird puberty issues. 389 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,512 What are you gonna do when your daughter asks you 390 00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:48,680 if she's attractive? 391 00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:50,949 I'll say "yes"! Morty, gross! 392 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,583 Well, she's gonna be super hot. 393 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,218 Her mother's gonna be Jessica... 394 00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,820 Wait, when did Summer ask you that?! 395 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,222 Right before she Clive Barkered herself. Why? 396 00:15:58,224 --> 00:15:59,757 Wait, I know where she is! 397 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:01,693 Ethan and Summer were supposed to go camping, 398 00:16:01,695 --> 00:16:03,928 and then he dumped Summer for this girl, Tricia Lange, 399 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,064 who's got huge boobies and took her. 400 00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,232 Campsite... The one with the name that sounds like somebody 401 00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:10,301 gave up halfway through naming it. 402 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,936 Uh... Camp Flabanabba! 403 00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,504 Mama's coming, baby. 404 00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:16,040 Mama's coming, and she cares about your titties! 405 00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:19,410 They have sweet smiggle honey cookies. 406 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:22,480 Mmm! And low-calorie petroleum flakes. 407 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,715 Obviously cookies. 408 00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:24,916 Let's get you the flakes then. 409 00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:26,384 Okay, but it's not what I wanted. 410 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,885 Well, maybe next time, you won't be 411 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,254 such a dumb piece of and you can pick for yourself. 412 00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:31,622 That's not nice. What's that? 413 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,524 Did you just have a controversial thought? 414 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,193 No. That's what I thought, bitch. 415 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:37,195 You little punk-ass. 416 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:38,896 This is the best. 417 00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:41,332 I agree. You've made things even easier 418 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,800 than if you hadn't been incompetent. 419 00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,802 Uh-oh. We get shoot-shoot now. 420 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,575 we're about to enter the wormhole. 421 00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,877 So, I hope everybody bought a dinner first. 422 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,312 Nice. Nice. 423 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,680 Jerry, step over there 424 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,115 and lock yourself in the escape pod. 425 00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,916 You're not killing us? I'm killing Rick. 426 00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:01,552 You're free to go. You're no threat to me or anyone. 427 00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:02,954 Now you're just being mean. 428 00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:04,522 Yeah, you're mean... No offense. 429 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,224 Mean would be shooting you, Jerry. 430 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,592 This is saving a bullet. 431 00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,227 Go back to your quietly ashamed family 432 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,561 and live out the rest of your days 433 00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,230 in denial of your vagina fantasies. 434 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:15,133 It was a one-time thought that everyone has! 435 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,002 What are you doing? 436 00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:20,238 I'm being triumphantly brave! 437 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,839 It's not triumphant or brave. 438 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,141 You're not risking anything. 439 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,342 You might shoot me. 440 00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,643 I think you know I won't. 441 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,011 Because you know I feel sorry for you. 442 00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:28,546 You're just doing this so you can tell yourself 443 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,947 you fought... Ow! 444 00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,017 Woman: Temporal shield compromised. 445 00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:35,620 Congratulations, Jerry. You get to die a man. 446 00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,088 Uh, that's okay! I'll leave! 447 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:40,091 Please don't shoot. I-I'm the vagina guy, remember? 448 00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:48,266 Whoa! What is happening to me? 449 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,268 Where is this? Where am I? 450 00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,602 Am I dead? 451 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,137 A-Am I... Am I still alive? 452 00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:55,807 Rick: Those aren't the questions you should be asking. 453 00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:56,841 Huh?! 454 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:57,942 Shh! 455 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,600 Ah, got ya! 456 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,068 Come here, you little pumpkin. 457 00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:26,471 I have shit on my ass. 458 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,372 Whoa, oof this! 459 00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:29,941 Who am I? 460 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,442 Who am I? 461 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,579 I'm time! I'm literally time! 462 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:39,951 All: Whooooa! 463 00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,285 Aah! 464 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,021 Oh, God. I feel like our souls were united, 465 00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:46,224 and we were all one with eternity. 466 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,725 Our body's unchanged, 467 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:50,261 yet our minds have lived a thousand lifetimes. 468 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:52,263 Is that enough time for me to forgive you? 469 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:53,498 I don't know, but it's enough time 470 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,500 for a synaptic dampener to wear off. 471 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,006 He hadn't decided he was still going to kill us! 472 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,108 He was talking himself into it. I've seen it before. 473 00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:06,878 Cosmic apotheosis wears off faster than salvia. 474 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,046 I'm starting to believe you because I just finished merging 475 00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:11,015 with your essence for an endless epoch, 476 00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,050 and I'm already back to thinking you're an asshole. 477 00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,919 Fine with me. Let's just go our separate ways. 478 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,521 Sounds like you and the word "epoch" 479 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:17,722 have a lot of catching up to do. 480 00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:19,257 Wait, don't leave me! 481 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,326 and walk around the cabin 482 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,428 and maybe take the wormhole out for breakfast. 483 00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:27,698 but not both. 484 00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,636 You think you got that thing figured out? 485 00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:32,837 Yeah, I know what I'm doing. 486 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,772 Good. Because I have an idea. 487 00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:40,645 It's actually a contraction of "some" and "more," 488 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,079 you see that? Oh, wow. 489 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,181 I was way off. 490 00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:03,000 Morty, what's happening here? 491 00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,769 Summer got into my grandpa's garage, 492 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:07,171 messed around, and turned herself into a monster. 493 00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:09,407 My mom did the same to make her feel better. 494 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,675 She's a good mom. 495 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,780 Oh, my God. I have to go call my mother! 496 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:17,481 Tricia, wait! Ethan! Ethan! 497 00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:19,517 Hey, it's okay. Sit down. 498 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,819 You made my sister cry, Ethan. 499 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,454 You messed with her body image. 500 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:24,622 Look, Morty, I... 501 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:25,957 Shh, shh, shh. 502 00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:29,227 Careful, Ethan. Your s'more is burning. 503 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,439 Uh, I guess we better get on the same page 504 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:42,807 about our fake adventure. 505 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,308 Right. I'll make you a deal. 506 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:45,876 I'll leave out the part where you tried to murder me... 507 00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,311 And I'll leave out the part 508 00:20:47,313 --> 00:20:51,148 where you admitted to sabotaging our marriage. 509 00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,283 You want to...? 510 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,051 Nah, if the family sees me like this, 511 00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,720 they'll feel sorry for me. 512 00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,222 Which is no longer my signature move. 513 00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,224 Later days, amigo. 514 00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:04,695 Actually, I just realized, I don't have my wallet, 515 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,030 and my bus pass is in there, so maybe... 516 00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:07,732 Stay strong, Jerry. I believe in you! 517 00:21:48,041 --> 00:21:50,675 I tell you, fellas. This is the life. 518 00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,310 It certainly is. 519 00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,511 To freedom! 520 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:56,881 Ooh! Looks like a 4-22. 521 00:21:56,883 --> 00:21:58,382 Ooh, a couple cranks on scaling knob 522 00:21:58,384 --> 00:22:01,252 with a four dilabyte cross fade would fix that in a jiff. 523 00:22:01,254 --> 00:22:04,021 Four? You'd be lucky to clear 13% de-morphized 524 00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,423 with that kind of range. 525 00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:08,559 Gentlemen, gentlemen, what did we agree on? 526 00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:09,994 Together: No work talk! 527 00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:12,930 Let's just relax and enjoy our retirement, shall... 528 00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:14,598 Oh, my God! 529 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,233 Aaah! 529 00:22:17,305 --> 00:22:23,820 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/63n Help other users to choose the best subtitles