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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,934
Aah, aah!
3
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,208
Oh, my god.
4
00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:26,528
Holy ****
oh.
5
00:00:26,613 --> 00:00:27,862
What are...
What are these things?!
6
00:00:27,946 --> 00:00:28,945
Do I look like I know?
7
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,072
Last thing I remember, I was,
ugh, in a cave
8
00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:33,283
Looking at some wet egg and...
Oh, that probably did it.
9
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,617
I told you not to look
at that egg!
10
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,952
I-it was too wet.
11
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,287
You don't get to tell me
what to look at.
12
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,555
I've seen
your pornhub account.
13
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,156
Also, who makes
a pornhub account?
14
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,358
The algorithm learns your
preferences better that way.
15
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,361
Plus if you get in kind
of a cool enough relationship,
16
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,962
You can sort
of follow each other
17
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,430
And check out
each other's kinks, you know?
18
00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:48,899
Alright, god damn, sold.
19
00:00:48,988 --> 00:00:50,506
- How do we get out of here?
- Morty, relax.
20
00:00:50,590 --> 00:00:51,761
They're face-hugging
parasites.
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00:00:51,845 --> 00:00:54,245
I don't think their society's
gonna be that hard to navigate.
22
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:59,509
Okay, yeah, this might be
a little harder than I thought.
23
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:02,379
Holy ****
they've got an m&m's store.
24
00:01:30,288 --> 00:01:31,935
*RickY AND Morty*
Season 04 Episode 07
25
00:01:32,019 --> 00:01:33,912
Episode Title: "ProMortyus"
Aired on: May 10, 2020
26
00:01:36,347 --> 00:01:38,681
This is bad, Rick.
Th-th-th-th-this is really bad.
27
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,016
Just be cool, Morty.
28
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,418
All we gotta do is blend in,
find our ship,
29
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:43,153
And get
the **** outta here.
30
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:45,155
Alright, Morty, here's the plan,
put this back on your face.
31
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:48,024
I-I'm not putting that back
on my face! Relax. It's dead.
32
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:51,494
Okay, now it's dead.
33
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:54,431
Come on, hurry up.
34
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,432
Rick, I-it's bleeding.
35
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:56,629
I-it's bleeding acid.
36
00:01:56,714 --> 00:01:58,234
Alright, well, that should
be the last of it.
37
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,609
If not, then just gimme
two tugs on the arm.
38
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:06,309
Seems like a self-destructive
life cycle.
39
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:07,577
Is that gonna
happen to us?
40
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:08,911
You feel an egg
in your stomach?
41
00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:11,848
- No.
- Well, glass half full.
42
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,249
How's it going?
'sup.
43
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,451
- Glory to glorzo.
- Totally.
44
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:15,652
Love glorzo.
45
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,454
Glorzo is peace.
46
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:18,789
Peace is glorzo.
47
00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:21,257
Wow, just cogs in the machine,
y'know?
48
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,126
- Ma-makes you think...
- Yeah, I'm sure you'll make this
49
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:25,061
Into a beautiful short film
that your parents'll pay for,
50
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,997
Morty, but right now, we really
just need to find my ship.
51
00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:28,799
You sure you're not
just jealous?
52
00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:30,933
Looks like I'm kind of
a celebrity around here.
53
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:32,803
Glorzo Morty:
The future is glorzo!
54
00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:35,606
Oh, my god.
I was just reading you.
55
00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:38,341
Congratulations on making it
into print media.
56
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,742
Real bright future there.
57
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,612
Honestly, it's shocking to see
the two of you together.
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00:02:41,696 --> 00:02:43,614
Because we're both
geniuses?
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00:02:43,698 --> 00:02:45,415
No, because I've seen
your videos,
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00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,217
And you make me
**** sick.
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00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,001
Fix him.
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00:02:51,203 --> 00:02:52,254
Glory to glorzo.
63
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,756
Sir, you shouldn't
wander off like that.
64
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,031
We've been looking
all over for you.
65
00:02:55,115 --> 00:02:56,635
The project is ready
for your approval.
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00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,428
Sir, is this man
bothering you?
67
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,830
Um, no, h-he's fine.
68
00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:01,698
Uh, what... what project?
69
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:04,100
Jesus christ,
who the **** was I?
70
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,570
Here's a scientific fact
I'm not allowed to say...
71
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:11,974
Our hosts are biologically
designed to incubate our eggs.
72
00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:14,177
If that "triggers" you,
**** off.
73
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:15,846
If it doesn't,
please like and subscribe.
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00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,848
New videos every glorzday.
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00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:19,315
God,
was I at least rich?
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00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:20,984
I mean, d-d-did
I at least sell out
77
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:22,385
And sell vitamins
or something?
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00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:23,987
Rick, I've watched enough
pornhub to know
79
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:25,588
What a studio apartment
looks like.
80
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,057
God damn.
81
00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:29,592
Jesus, your glorzo got
**** done.
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00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:32,395
My lord,
we await your command.
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00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:33,530
Oh, to...
84
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,265
Shoot it?
A-at people?
85
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,599
Glorzo is peace.
86
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,268
All shall be made glorzo.
87
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,403
Soldiers: Glory to glorzo.
88
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:41,804
I... Did this?
89
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:45,408
You and the amazing technology
you both brought us.
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00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:46,809
Yeah, makes sense.
91
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:47,944
A-and where
was this heading?
92
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:48,945
Earth?
Probably earth?
93
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,813
The humans
call it "earth."
94
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,015
Yeah, well, okay,
first of all, great work.
95
00:03:53,099 --> 00:03:54,817
You guys obviously put a lot
of work into this.
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00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,553
Okay.
And y'know, it shows.
97
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,488
I-it really shows.
But um...
98
00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,956
I-I've been thinking,
and, you know,
99
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,025
Maybe we should
just call this off.
100
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,694
Sorry,
is... is there more?
101
00:04:03,778 --> 00:04:04,895
Nope, nope.
102
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:06,963
I-I guess, uh, that...
That's it.
103
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,900
Just don't glorzo earth.
104
00:04:09,984 --> 00:04:12,635
Just would've been nice
to have heard this sooner
105
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:14,104
Before we spent
all day on it.
106
00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:16,439
Yeah, well, I-I'm just hearing
about it, too.
107
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:17,840
You ordered it.
Right.
108
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,309
I-I did, and, um...
109
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,177
I'm just saying for next time,
maybe put more thought
110
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,045
Into it
before a whole day of...
111
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,047
Okay, well, I'm sorry I made you
do your job for a **** day!
112
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:26,182
You look like you were
all really busy
113
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,918
Before I came
and **** it all up.
114
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:28,985
Boy, oh boy, huh?
This guy's a genius, but at...
115
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,387
But at what price,
you know?
116
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:31,521
Y'know, **** you,
Rick!
117
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,924
Who's... Rick?
118
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,458
Yeah, well, if we're free
to ask questions,
119
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:38,261
Why haven't you blinked,
uh, for 20 minutes,
120
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:41,980
And why, uh, doesn't
your mouth move when you talk?
121
00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:45,868
Ah, geez, look at me.
122
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,670
I-I feel down on...
On... on the floor.
123
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:50,206
Oh, let... let me, uh, help...
Help you out here, buddy.
124
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,342
Ah, thanks, man.
Thanks, pal. That's right.
125
00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:56,028
I'm right back where... where...
Right back in the saddle here.
126
00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:00,883
Alright,
**** it, run.
127
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,841
I-I hate this!
I hate all of this!
128
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,509
Yeah, yeah, keep that feedback
coming, Morty.
129
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,244
It can only help.
130
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,051
Oh, ****
aw, man!
131
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,653
How big is this city?!
132
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,054
I know,
it's like pick a lane.
133
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,172
Are you face huggers
or industrialists?
134
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,995
Damn, feels kinda good
when there's no guilt, huh?
135
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,663
Yeah, it's...
It's like in "star wars."
136
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:47,930
Yeah, just like
in "star wars."
137
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,800
Go nuts!
138
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,271
Nice, Morty! Give a little
"yee-haw" if you want.
139
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,474
They... they always do a little
"yee-haw" like a cowboy.
140
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,608
Yee... yee-ha... yee-haw.
141
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,343
Good enough.
142
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,354
God, I needed this.
143
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:12,889
Honestly, it's been a while
since I've been able
144
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,090
To just let loose,
you know?
145
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:15,558
Just have fun.
I'm... I'm...
146
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,360
I'm sorry if I've been
taking it out on you.
147
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:19,762
No, I get it. You got a lot
on your plate, amigo.
148
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,031
I-I just wish
you'd open up
149
00:06:21,115 --> 00:06:22,365
To me more about it
sometimes, you know?
150
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:23,966
I-I-I'm your partner.
Thanks, Morty.
151
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,368
I mean that.
Thank you.
152
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:26,903
Sometimes, I get a little
in my head, you know?
153
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,305
Hey, man, that head's
a good place to be.
154
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,707
Just remember to let me
in sometimes, you know?
155
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,975
Will do, buddy.
Mother****
156
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,515
Oh, my god,
this is so much fun!
157
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:39,782
I don't want to stop!
158
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,300
Yeah, it's like
popping bubble wrap.
159
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,929
Honestly,
I'm proud of us for not.
160
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,597
Totally.
It would've been cheap.
161
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:57,383
Yeah, real low-hanging fruit,
and we're batter than that.
162
00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:01,137
Pearl harbor,
on the other hand...
163
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,389
Yeah, I think
that's in-bounds.
164
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:08,879
I am the god of death!
165
00:07:08,963 --> 00:07:11,263
Should've been
a better species!
166
00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:19,956
So, you did a 9/11?
167
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,157
Almost did a 9/11.
168
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,825
We... we went with
a pearl harbor.
169
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,027
We're pretty classy.
170
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,363
Why were either of those
an option?
171
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:27,630
Ask the saudis.
172
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:28,631
Wow. Damn.
173
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:29,900
Yeah,
getting political.
174
00:07:29,984 --> 00:07:31,434
I'm political now.
How 'bout you, jerry?
175
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:33,970
You got anything to add
to the family dynamic?
176
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,488
I've been getting into
beekeeping lately.
177
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,378
Is something wrong
with that?
178
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,512
What's wrong with that?
179
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,715
Don't I have the right
to be happy? To exist?
180
00:07:44,799 --> 00:07:46,449
I'm sorry I didn't 9/11
181
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,851
Pearl harbor before breakfast,
but I have a life, too!
182
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,453
I have dreams!
And how's summer?
183
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:53,323
Did she have fun, too?
184
00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:55,191
Oh.
Uh-um.
185
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,993
Summer...
Was...
186
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,395
With us.
187
00:07:58,479 --> 00:07:59,462
There.
188
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:01,864
You saw us take her
in the car with us.
189
00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,200
Mm, yes.
Yes, yes, of course.
190
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,402
Th-that's what happened.
191
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,347
- And now she's...
- Sleepy.
192
00:08:07,432 --> 00:08:09,406
Um, she's... she's sleepy.
193
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,073
Really sleepy.
That's why she's not here.
194
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,342
So sleepy.
195
00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:13,744
She's sleepy?!
196
00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:14,877
What the hell was that?!
197
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,479
I didn't see you trying
anything!
198
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:18,148
**** the bed isn't better
than not **** the bed!
199
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,032
Where's summer?!
200
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,554
Geez.
Oh, man.
201
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,356
You know, maybe we went
too hardcore on these guys.
202
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:27,758
Yeah, why do you think
we never go back
203
00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:29,292
To a place
we've already been?
204
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,560
Do you know how many adventures
we could get out
205
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:31,962
Of purge planet, Morty?
Gear world?
206
00:08:32,046 --> 00:08:33,830
I don't sequel.
It's called integrity.
207
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,098
Here, put this back
on your face.
208
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,583
You kept it?
Oh, did you want a new one?
209
00:08:39,854 --> 00:08:40,971
- 'Sup?
- Yo.
210
00:08:41,055 --> 00:08:42,572
Oh, ****
it's them!
211
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:44,775
The worst thing
to ever happen to us!
212
00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:46,242
Yeah, that makes sense.
213
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,577
Sorry, Morty,
we tried pussin' it.
214
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:48,779
Time to go in hot.
215
00:08:48,863 --> 00:08:51,448
Rickputer, initiate
unnecessarily badass suit-up.
216
00:09:02,677 --> 00:09:04,194
Let's lick ****
217
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,069
Shouldn't we be
finding summer?
218
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,271
Oh, right, gee, sorry.
I got caught up again.
219
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,007
God, d-do I need
to take more adderall,
220
00:09:17,091 --> 00:09:19,275
Or am I taking
too much adderall?
221
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:29,019
Man, really shouldn't have gone
with swords.
222
00:09:29,103 --> 00:09:30,887
I know.
My wrists are killing me.
223
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,356
Flame-throwers next time,
for sure.
224
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:34,757
Can I get a laser whip?
225
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:39,029
Okay, but there's no way
you don't chop your dick off.
226
00:09:39,113 --> 00:09:41,564
Sum sum, come with us
if you want to live...
227
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,966
At a lower standard than this,
I guess.
228
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,235
God damn.
229
00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:47,970
Empress, is everything alright?
Ummm...
230
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:49,105
Seize them!
231
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,440
Seize them?!
What?!
232
00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:52,491
Summer, you bitch!
You gotta be kidding me!
233
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,479
E seize them?!
What?! I've seen ♪
234
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:57,748
You know that song,
Rick?
235
00:09:57,832 --> 00:09:58,949
From the...
When the prisoners sing it?
236
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,417
Come on, Morty,
for **** sake.
237
00:10:00,501 --> 00:10:03,353
It's my jail time.
I-I can spend it however I want.
238
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,823
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy!
Hey, hey, hey!
239
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:07,958
Not in here!
Not in here!
240
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:10,275
Aw...
Gimme that.
241
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,297
Leave us.
242
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,032
What the ****
took you so long?!
243
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,968
You left me here. We
didn't know you were with us!
244
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,836
Do you know how much ****
I've had to deal with?
245
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,304
You're in a cape, summer.
246
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,305
How bad could it be?
247
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,441
No bad story
ends with a cape.
248
00:10:24,525 --> 00:10:28,711
You don't know anything
about my story.
249
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,648
"I couldn't help but wonder,
was gharkhul really capable
250
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,249
Of consuming a living sun,
251
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,986
Or was I simply getting
too close to gharkhul?
252
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,654
Was gharkhul consuming me?"
253
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,055
Rick, can we listen
to something else?
254
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,857
Quiet! She's just about
to summon gharkhul.
255
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,592
She's been talking about
summoning gharkhul
256
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:43,926
For three episodes,
summer.
257
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,728
Wait a minute,
what's that in your mouth?
258
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,130
It's a toothpick.
259
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,799
I'm a toothpicker now.
Get used to it.
260
00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:50,801
God, are you that desperate
for a thing?
261
00:10:50,885 --> 00:10:52,535
It is my thing.
262
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:55,738
Just like yours is dying alone
and yours is jerking off.
263
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,675
At least jerking off tracks
for my character, you know?
264
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:01,144
I like to jerk off.
I'm 14. I own it.
265
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:02,412
Well, I jerk off, too!
Alright, stop.
266
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,214
Jesus chris, I don't wanna think
about that ****
267
00:11:04,298 --> 00:11:05,682
Summer, keep your toothpick.
Gross!
268
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,350
Morty, stop talking to
your sister about jerking off.
269
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,034
Everyone pretend podcasting
isn't boring.
270
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:14,090
Whoa, Morty, look how
wet this egg is.
271
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,092
I dunno, Rick.
That looks a little too wet.
272
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,560
D-don't touch it.
Oh, I'm gonna touch it.
273
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,029
Why are you guys screaming
at an egg?
274
00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:20,363
Shut up, summer!
Just let us look at an egg!
275
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,632
Yeah, summer,
shut the **** up.
276
00:11:21,716 --> 00:11:23,033
**** ****
nobody wants you here.
277
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,701
You know, sometimes we like
to go on adventures
278
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,036
And look at wet eggs,
you know? Can we just go?
279
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,370
This place is giving me
the creeps.
280
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,639
Holy ****
I love this egg.
281
00:11:28,723 --> 00:11:29,972
Hey, look,
mine's doing it, too.
282
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:32,575
Are you guys sure
that's safe?
283
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,644
Oh, my god!
284
00:11:38,399 --> 00:11:40,165
All is glorzo.
285
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,256
All is glorzo.
286
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,059
- God.
- God.
287
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,061
God?
She has a toothpick.
288
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:53,263
Take it out and put her face
in an egg.
289
00:11:53,347 --> 00:11:54,597
- God.
- God.
290
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:56,733
For **** sake, how long
have you been hatched?
291
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:57,934
30 seconds?
292
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,203
I've been alive
seven minutes.
293
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:02,472
Think before you...
excuse me, seven minutes?
294
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,741
Uh, I've been here
for 29 minutes.
295
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,743
But yes, take the toothpick
out of her mouth.
296
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:10,413
Suck on her face this instant
and use her body to...
297
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:15,686
What was that?
298
00:12:15,770 --> 00:12:18,020
That is called
responsibility.
299
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,890
He was part of
our greatest generation.
300
00:12:19,974 --> 00:12:23,159
He understood that what you need
to do is suck on a face,
301
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,027
Shit an egg, and die.
302
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,829
Wait, so, all you do is live
half an hour,
303
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,208
Shit eggs, and die?
304
00:12:28,293 --> 00:12:29,632
Yes.
We love it.
305
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:30,967
I'll do it right now.
306
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,173
Okay, you guys don't have
to listen to me,
307
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,109
But I vote you don't do that?
308
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,927
And who's up for
changing things around here?
309
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:53,790
♪ Well, I was hatched from
an egg laid by some guy ♪
310
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,593
♪ 'Cause that is glorzo's way
311
00:12:56,677 --> 00:13:00,863
♪ and then it came time
to lay my own egg and die ♪
312
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,132
♪ But summer, she said
313
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:07,738
♪ "hey, glorzo
wants you to stay" ♪
314
00:13:07,822 --> 00:13:10,741
♪ Glory to glorzo
315
00:13:10,825 --> 00:13:14,144
♪ means glory to me
316
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:15,678
♪ if we're only making eggs
317
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:19,750
♪ are we ever making
glorzo free? ♪
318
00:13:19,834 --> 00:13:22,619
Alright, look, uh, this ****
been brewing for a while.
319
00:13:22,703 --> 00:13:25,488
I'm not gonna win any popularity
contests by saying it,
320
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:27,824
But here's...
Here's the world as I see it.
321
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:31,294
♪ And for all we know
everything we've known ♪
322
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:35,231
♪ Is just some shit
we made up ♪
323
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,034
♪ Glory to glorzo
324
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:41,371
♪ means glory to me
325
00:13:41,455 --> 00:13:43,506
♪ we got too many eggs
and not enough society ♪
326
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,642
I mean, look, we are designed
to suck on faces and lay eggs.
327
00:13:45,726 --> 00:13:48,578
Life is life,
and that's the way it goes.
328
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,398
Hello, troy.
Hello, jez.
329
00:13:56,483 --> 00:13:58,254
How is it going?
Really good, commander.
330
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,856
Should be ready by tomorrow.
331
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,124
That is what
I like to hear.
332
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,326
Great work,
glory to glorzo.
333
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:06,463
Honestly, summer,
I can't thank you enough.
334
00:14:06,547 --> 00:14:09,065
When we met, we were just
shitting eggs in a cave,
335
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:12,068
But you showed us life
is about more than that.
336
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,736
It is about living.
337
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,472
And now,
with these missiles,
338
00:14:15,556 --> 00:14:18,341
We will be able to reach
the entire universe.
339
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:22,479
We say it all the time,
but I guess all is glorzo.
340
00:14:22,563 --> 00:14:23,614
Yeah, that sounds great.
341
00:14:23,698 --> 00:14:25,348
And you've been great.
Yeah.
342
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,350
You've been so great
that I've been thinking
343
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,820
Maybe it's time for you
to get off my brother.
344
00:14:29,904 --> 00:14:31,421
Who's your brother?
345
00:14:31,505 --> 00:14:32,355
Oh, this?
346
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:33,890
Forgot he was there, haha.
347
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,558
Wait.
What are you saying?
348
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,294
I'm saying that you've
been great, steve,
349
00:14:37,378 --> 00:14:39,830
But we've been thinking
it's time for a new chapter.
350
00:14:39,914 --> 00:14:41,832
We?
Uh, this is shane.
351
00:14:41,916 --> 00:14:43,300
He'll be handling
the day-to-day.
352
00:14:43,384 --> 00:14:44,967
It's an honor
to meet you, sir.
353
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:48,453
I might only be two minutes old,
but I know you're a legend.
354
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,240
She doesn't care
about us.
355
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:52,375
She just wants her ****
host back.
356
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,977
I don't know what to do.
Oh, now you want my help.
357
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,523
- Too late for that.
- Come on, man.
358
00:14:56,608 --> 00:14:57,690
What is this ****
359
00:14:57,775 --> 00:14:58,915
You don't get to
do this to me.
360
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,183
We were in eggs together.
361
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,584
Oh, **** since
we were in eggs.
362
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:02,986
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
now you respect, like,
363
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:04,855
The biological
institutions now?
364
00:15:04,939 --> 00:15:06,056
**** you.
All you care about
365
00:15:06,140 --> 00:15:08,591
Is "progress"
and society and skyscrapers.
366
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:10,393
You don't care about
**** biology.
367
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:11,899
Oh, yeah, well, what
the ****
368
00:15:11,984 --> 00:15:14,704
You... how you you haven't laid
and egg inside this old man yet?
369
00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:15,932
Because I do what I want.
370
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,267
Because someone's gotta
stand up for what's right.
371
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:18,535
Why do you hate her
so much?
372
00:15:18,619 --> 00:15:22,072
Because she took you away
from me!
373
00:15:22,156 --> 00:15:24,007
Whoa, man.
Jesus christ.
374
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:26,676
No, I-I didn't, I...
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No.
375
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,879
It's cool.
376
00:15:28,963 --> 00:15:30,996
I feel the same way.
377
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,153
Oh, my god, I...
378
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:38,755
I wish we could suck
on each other.
379
00:15:38,839 --> 00:15:41,358
I wanna suck on you, too.
I'm gonna suck you so hard.
380
00:15:41,442 --> 00:15:43,093
Suck me.
C-c-can we do this?
381
00:15:43,177 --> 00:15:44,561
A-a-are we allowed to
do this?
382
00:15:44,645 --> 00:15:46,629
I don't care.
I just want you.
383
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:47,497
**** all of this.
384
00:15:47,581 --> 00:15:49,032
Let's just get the hell
outta here
385
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:51,034
And be whatever
the **** we want.
386
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,503
That's evolution.
That's progress.
387
00:15:53,587 --> 00:15:56,439
I want a family.
Can we have a family.
388
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,157
Yeah.
389
00:16:05,866 --> 00:16:07,566
Aah, aah!
390
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:14,991
Oh, my god.
391
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,793
Holy ****
oh.
392
00:16:16,877 --> 00:16:19,061
What are... what are these
things?! Do I look like I know?
393
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,331
Hey, wait a second.
How'd you know that last part?
394
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,266
You weren't there for that.
I had to fill in some gaps.
395
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,468
Everyone around the office
knew about steve and bruce.
396
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:29,406
I've got a plan, okay.
You just have to follow my lead.
397
00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:31,874
The punishment is...
398
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:33,209
Death.
Mother**** summer!
399
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,278
You said you had a plan!
Silence.
400
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:37,480
The council of glorzos
has spoken.
401
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:38,881
More like
council of ****
402
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,084
- Glorzo is law.
- Silence.
403
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,820
The punishment is death.
404
00:16:43,904 --> 00:16:46,222
By...
Getting their car.
405
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,024
Summer?
Shut up.
406
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,761
Yes, place them in the car.
407
00:16:50,845 --> 00:16:52,028
Those pieces of ****
408
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,630
No, no, no!
This is like torture.
409
00:16:53,714 --> 00:16:55,766
No, I-I-I-I hate being
in my car.
410
00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:58,368
You deserve it,
you pieces of ****
411
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:00,570
And to make sure
the sentence is passed,
412
00:17:00,654 --> 00:17:02,572
I shall be joining them.
413
00:17:02,656 --> 00:17:03,706
In the car.
414
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:06,843
And we shall drive away
from here and die.
415
00:17:06,927 --> 00:17:08,244
Oooookay.
416
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,846
Guess what, everybody.
417
00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:12,649
It's me, the whiny guy
you never want to hear from.
418
00:17:12,733 --> 00:17:14,917
She's trying to escape
with her family.
419
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:15,986
My time to shine.
420
00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:17,454
Execute her.
421
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:20,123
Okay, plan b.
Morty, now.
422
00:17:21,876 --> 00:17:23,794
Aah!
423
00:17:23,878 --> 00:17:25,395
Jesus, Morty, that sucks.
424
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:26,797
Alright, stop playing,
Morty.
425
00:17:26,881 --> 00:17:28,131
I-I got this.
426
00:17:29,684 --> 00:17:30,867
Aah!
427
00:17:35,756 --> 00:17:38,208
Glorzo: This is what we get
for evolving?
428
00:17:38,292 --> 00:17:40,276
Sorry!
Sorry.
429
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,545
I-I'm sorry. We... we...
We thought you were evil.
430
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,080
Why would you think that?
431
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:47,217
We had a giant tower
that blared "glorzo is peace."
432
00:17:47,301 --> 00:17:49,486
I know.
I... should... should we help?
433
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:50,821
- Boo!
- Oh, like that's helping.
434
00:17:50,905 --> 00:17:52,755
Got it. Going.
Okay, we're gonna hit the road.
435
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:55,826
You're... you're just going?
You told us to go!
436
00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:58,361
Once again,
I'm so sorry for what they...
437
00:17:58,445 --> 00:17:59,962
You're part of this, too.
Boo!
438
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,164
We hate you the most.
439
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,233
Get out.
440
00:18:03,317 --> 00:18:05,035
Jesus, summer,
why'd you let these things
441
00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:06,236
Stay on us for so long?
442
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,770
I was working with a lot.
443
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,522
Just let me listen
to the podcast next time.
444
00:18:14,995 --> 00:18:16,579
Nailed that landing.
445
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:20,783
Huh.
Neat-looking egg.
446
00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:28,324
Okay, well, I'm not
cleaning up this ♪♪♪♪
447
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:31,176
Aah!
448
00:18:35,149 --> 00:18:37,868
Maybe we, uh... maybe we don't
tell people about this one.
449
00:18:37,952 --> 00:18:39,469
Did we at least
learn something?
450
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:41,872
That we suck
and everyone sucks?
451
00:18:41,956 --> 00:18:44,674
I guess that counts.
452
00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:45,942
Later, chodes.
453
00:18:46,026 --> 00:18:47,626
Hit me on the next one.
454
00:18:50,364 --> 00:18:51,682
You know, Rick,
I'm sure you wanna jump
455
00:18:51,766 --> 00:18:54,351
Into another crazy adventure,
but can we just relax
456
00:18:54,435 --> 00:18:56,219
And maybe watch
some interdimensional cable?
457
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:58,288
I'm cool if you are.
Honestly, that sounds great.
458
00:18:58,372 --> 00:18:59,890
W-we don't need to try so hard,
you know.
459
00:18:59,974 --> 00:19:01,758
Let's just take it easy
and riff, you know.
460
00:19:01,842 --> 00:19:04,227
That's what I love about us.
Me, too, buddy.
461
00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:06,096
Man: Do you suffer
from alzheimer's?
462
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:07,698
Do you suffer from alzheimer's?
463
00:19:07,782 --> 00:19:09,499
Do you suffer
from alzheimer's?
464
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:10,767
Do you suffer from alzheimer's?
465
00:19:10,851 --> 00:19:12,635
- Reggie?
- Do you suffer from alzheimer's?
466
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,104
Man #2: Reggie,
you alright in there?
467
00:19:14,188 --> 00:19:16,439
Mm, Rick, do you feel...
468
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:18,975
Oh, god,
I have to shit an egg.
469
00:19:19,059 --> 00:19:20,176
Oh, my god, oh, ****
470
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,718
Oh, it hurts.
Oh god,
471
00:19:21,803 --> 00:19:22,780
Is this how we die, Rick?
472
00:19:22,865 --> 00:19:25,499
- I don't know, Morty. I don't know! Aah!
- Is this how we die?!
473
00:19:25,584 --> 00:19:27,335
- I don't want to **** an egg,
- Rick! I'm sorry, Morty.
474
00:19:27,419 --> 00:19:29,177
I'm sorry! It's my fault.
It's all my fault!
475
00:19:29,262 --> 00:19:30,314
Hey, you two. Did you...
476
00:19:30,399 --> 00:19:32,649
Beth, your son is dying!
Say goodbye!
477
00:19:32,734 --> 00:19:35,311
What are you... say
goodbye to your little boy!
478
00:19:35,396 --> 00:19:36,098
No, look away!
479
00:19:36,183 --> 00:19:37,860
I'm making an egg, mom.
I'm making an egg!
480
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:40,530
You said you'd keep me more
in the loop this year.
481
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:42,999
Look away, beth!
Daddy loves you!
482
00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:44,267
My ass!
My ass!
483
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:45,468
This is it, Morty!
484
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,137
It's full circle
from the pilot.
485
00:19:47,221 --> 00:19:48,405
Full circle!
486
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,678
Oh, I guess we, uh...
487
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:56,879
I guess we both just had
to take a ****
488
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,749
Yeah,
I-I-I guess we, uh...
489
00:19:58,833 --> 00:20:00,016
**** gross.
490
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:02,018
Guys, clean it up.
491
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,186
Look at your dad.
492
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:39,656
Such a dork, keeping bees.
493
00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:41,792
I mean, it's... at least
it's interesting, though.
494
00:20:41,876 --> 00:20:44,777
At least, like...
I wish my dad kept bees.
495
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,130
I mean,
it's kind of cute.
496
00:20:47,214 --> 00:20:52,135
Like...
Your dad keeps bees.
497
00:20:52,219 --> 00:20:54,404
How old is your dad?
498
00:20:54,488 --> 00:20:58,675
He's obviously
beekeeping age.
499
00:20:59,194 --> 00:21:02,195
I don't know,
I think it's kind of sweet.
500
00:21:04,661 --> 00:21:06,270
Summer, I want to
**** your dad.
501
00:21:06,355 --> 00:21:07,522
Oh, really?
501
00:21:08,305 --> 00:21:14,757
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