1 00:00:02,729 --> 00:00:04,526 So I move into the centre lane... 2 00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:10,008 ...I get ahead of this woman who felt, for some reason, I'd cut her off. 3 00:00:10,569 --> 00:00:15,245 So she pulls up alongside of me, gives me the finger. 4 00:00:16,969 --> 00:00:19,927 It seems like such an arbitrary, ridiculous thing... 5 00:00:20,089 --> 00:00:24,207 ...to just pick a finger and you show it to the person. 6 00:00:26,289 --> 00:00:28,041 It's a finger. What does it mean? 7 00:00:28,209 --> 00:00:30,769 Someone shows me one of their fingers... 8 00:00:30,929 --> 00:00:33,159 ...and I'm supposed to feel bad. 9 00:00:33,489 --> 00:00:36,367 Is that the way it's supposed to work? I mean... 10 00:00:36,529 --> 00:00:39,646 ...you could just give someone the toe, really, couldn't you? 11 00:00:39,809 --> 00:00:43,085 I would feel worse if I got the toe than if I got the finger. 12 00:00:43,249 --> 00:00:44,762 It's not easy to give the toe. 13 00:00:44,929 --> 00:00:49,480 You gotta get the shoe off, the sock off and drive, get it up in the- 14 00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:51,002 "Look at that toe, buddy." 15 00:00:51,169 --> 00:00:54,445 I mean, that's really insulting, to get the toe, isn't it? 16 00:00:58,689 --> 00:01:02,045 That it? I've got the Q-Tips, got the mini-umbrella. 17 00:01:02,209 --> 00:01:05,884 Something boring to read on the plane. 18 00:01:09,249 --> 00:01:10,602 That's it. 19 00:01:10,849 --> 00:01:12,077 Done. 20 00:01:12,609 --> 00:01:16,284 That is the single greatest packing performance I have ever seen. 21 00:01:16,449 --> 00:01:19,919 I am the master packer. 22 00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,759 Yeah, right. You're the master packer. 23 00:01:23,089 --> 00:01:25,319 What you must understand, Elaine... 24 00:01:25,689 --> 00:01:27,566 ...packing is like leading men into battle. 25 00:01:27,729 --> 00:01:31,722 You've got to know the strengths and weaknesses of every soldier. 26 00:01:31,889 --> 00:01:35,882 From a collapsible toothbrush to a pair of ordinary black socks. 27 00:01:36,049 --> 00:01:38,483 Excuse me, master packer? 28 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,441 Yes? 29 00:01:40,769 --> 00:01:44,205 - Just give me your keys. - All right, sir. 30 00:01:46,249 --> 00:01:48,285 - George? - Yeah. 31 00:01:49,129 --> 00:01:52,280 Okay, so, now, is there anything else I need to know about this place? 32 00:01:52,449 --> 00:01:57,045 Yeah. The hot water takes a while to come on. So the best thing to do... 33 00:01:57,209 --> 00:02:00,519 ...is to turn it on, do all your shopping... 34 00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:03,123 ...then come back and take a shower. 35 00:02:03,409 --> 00:02:04,842 Okay. This is quite a place. 36 00:02:05,009 --> 00:02:07,477 There's more. The refrigerator. 37 00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:11,039 Deduct a minimum of two days off all expiration dates. 38 00:02:11,209 --> 00:02:14,599 No meat, no leftovers, no butter. 39 00:02:14,769 --> 00:02:16,839 And I cannot overstate this: 40 00:02:17,009 --> 00:02:20,524 No soft cheeses of any kind. 41 00:02:20,689 --> 00:02:23,647 - Is that clear? - I'll eat out. 42 00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:26,164 And one more thing, Benes... 43 00:02:26,409 --> 00:02:28,047 ...regarding sexual activity. 44 00:02:29,169 --> 00:02:32,764 Strictly prohibited, but if you absolutely must, do us all a big favour... 45 00:02:32,929 --> 00:02:34,521 ...do it in the tub. 46 00:02:35,969 --> 00:02:38,563 - Are you ready? - Yeah. One second. 47 00:02:39,369 --> 00:02:41,166 - Hey, Elaine. - Hi. 48 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:43,889 - You coming to the airport? - I'm staying for the weekend. 49 00:02:44,049 --> 00:02:47,644 - I getting a break from my roommate. - Oh, the actresslwaitress. 50 00:02:47,809 --> 00:02:51,802 No. The waitresslactress. She just got some part... 51 00:02:51,969 --> 00:02:54,722 ...in some dinner theatre production of A Chorus Line. 52 00:02:54,889 --> 00:02:58,279 So now all day long she's walking around the apartment singing: 53 00:03:02,889 --> 00:03:04,959 She's gonna get it, right in the... 54 00:03:06,129 --> 00:03:07,482 Why don't you just kick her out. 55 00:03:07,649 --> 00:03:11,642 She's on the lease. George, you have got to find another place for me. 56 00:03:11,849 --> 00:03:15,558 Yeah, well, a little rough finding something good in your price range. 57 00:03:16,009 --> 00:03:18,603 Hey, but you, my friend, may be in luck. 58 00:03:18,809 --> 00:03:21,960 - I'm not looking. - No, this one's different. It's a beauty. 59 00:03:22,129 --> 00:03:24,006 - What's it like? - I haven't seen it yet... 60 00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:27,286 ...but it's a two-bedroom, it's on West 83rd... 61 00:03:27,449 --> 00:03:29,644 - ... about a half-block from the park. - How much? 62 00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:32,243 Twice what you're paying here, but it's a great building. 63 00:03:32,409 --> 00:03:33,683 It's two bedrooms. 64 00:03:33,849 --> 00:03:35,680 Two bedrooms? Why do I need two bedrooms? 65 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:38,568 I've got enough trouble maintaining activity in one. 66 00:03:40,009 --> 00:03:41,727 I saw that. 67 00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:45,486 - You ought to at least take a look at it. - Really? Why? 68 00:03:45,649 --> 00:03:47,560 Because then I could move in here. 69 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:52,039 - I know what you're saying now. - It's time you got out of here, anyway. 70 00:03:52,209 --> 00:03:54,677 Yeah, tell him, but quickly. I'm double-parked here. 71 00:03:54,849 --> 00:03:57,488 Listen, Jerry, this place is falling apart. 72 00:03:57,649 --> 00:03:59,367 You have no hot water. 73 00:03:59,529 --> 00:04:01,326 You can't have soft cheese. 74 00:04:01,489 --> 00:04:02,763 Let's not forget the radiator. 75 00:04:02,929 --> 00:04:06,968 The steam's been on for 10 years. No human can turn this off. 76 00:04:07,249 --> 00:04:09,319 Jerry, come on. You're doing okay now. 77 00:04:09,489 --> 00:04:11,605 You should at least take a look at this place. 78 00:04:11,769 --> 00:04:16,684 - You shouldn't have to live like this. - You just said you wanted to live here. 79 00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:18,447 Well, for me it's a step up. 80 00:04:18,609 --> 00:04:21,328 It's like moving from Iceland to Finland. 81 00:04:21,809 --> 00:04:23,879 Jerry, you wanna see the place or not? 82 00:04:24,169 --> 00:04:26,603 I can't think about it now. I'm going to Minneapolis. 83 00:04:26,769 --> 00:04:29,124 I got four shows this weekend. 84 00:04:38,289 --> 00:04:39,722 Elaine? 85 00:04:58,289 --> 00:04:59,642 Elaine? 86 00:04:59,809 --> 00:05:01,083 Jerry? 87 00:05:01,249 --> 00:05:03,968 Jer- Oh, hi. 88 00:05:04,409 --> 00:05:06,604 Welcome back. How were the shows? 89 00:05:06,769 --> 00:05:10,125 Great. I had fun. Where's the TV? Where's the VCR? 90 00:05:10,609 --> 00:05:12,520 - What?! - They were stolen. 91 00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:14,327 Stolen? When? 92 00:05:14,489 --> 00:05:17,925 A couple of hours ago. The police are coming right over. 93 00:05:18,089 --> 00:05:19,568 Stolen? 94 00:05:21,649 --> 00:05:24,163 Someone left the door open. 95 00:05:24,369 --> 00:05:26,007 Oh, yeah... 96 00:05:27,729 --> 00:05:29,481 You left the door open? 97 00:05:29,649 --> 00:05:32,083 Oh, well, you know, I was cooking... 98 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:36,037 ...and I came in to get the spatula. 99 00:05:36,449 --> 00:05:39,646 I left the door open because I was gonna bring the spatula right back. 100 00:05:40,329 --> 00:05:43,719 Wait, you left the lock open or the door open? 101 00:05:44,769 --> 00:05:46,282 The door. 102 00:05:47,369 --> 00:05:51,157 - The door? You left the door open? - I was bringing the spatula right back. 103 00:05:51,329 --> 00:05:52,523 Yeah, and...? 104 00:05:52,689 --> 00:05:55,886 Well, I got caught up watching a soap opera. 105 00:05:56,929 --> 00:05:58,681 Bold and the Beautiful. 106 00:06:00,329 --> 00:06:03,048 - So the door was wide open. - Wide open. 107 00:06:05,169 --> 00:06:06,318 Excuse me. 108 00:06:06,489 --> 00:06:08,047 And where were you? 109 00:06:08,209 --> 00:06:12,725 I was at Bloomingdale's, waiting for the shower to heat up. 110 00:06:13,689 --> 00:06:15,407 Look, Jerry, I'm sorry. 111 00:06:15,569 --> 00:06:17,844 - You have insurance, right, buddy? - No. 112 00:06:19,089 --> 00:06:20,488 How can you not have insurance? 113 00:06:20,649 --> 00:06:25,518 Because I spent my money on the Clapco D-29. 114 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:28,761 It's the most impenetrable lock on the market today. 115 00:06:28,929 --> 00:06:31,238 It has only one design flaw: 116 00:06:31,409 --> 00:06:33,240 The door... 117 00:06:33,609 --> 00:06:35,406 ...must be closed! 118 00:06:36,489 --> 00:06:39,606 Jerry, I'm gonna find your stuff. I'm gonna solve it. 119 00:06:39,769 --> 00:06:41,600 I'm on the case, buddy. I'm on the case. 120 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:45,682 Don't investigate. Don't pay me back. It was an accident. 121 00:06:46,249 --> 00:06:48,524 - I made a mistake. - These things happen. 122 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:52,046 - I'm human. - In your way. 123 00:06:54,209 --> 00:06:59,237 Let's see, that's one TV, a stereo, one leather jacket, a VCR, a computer. 124 00:06:59,409 --> 00:07:01,525 - Is that about it? - The answering machine. 125 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,202 Answering machine. 126 00:07:03,369 --> 00:07:06,839 Boy, I hate the idea of somebody out there returning my calls. 127 00:07:08,249 --> 00:07:09,523 What do you mean? 128 00:07:11,369 --> 00:07:12,768 It's a joke. 129 00:07:13,049 --> 00:07:14,687 I see. 130 00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:19,521 Well, Mr. Seinfeld, we'll look into it. We'll let you know if we find anything. 131 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:22,044 - Do you ever find anything? - No. 132 00:07:26,809 --> 00:07:29,528 - Well, thanks anyway. - You bet. 133 00:07:30,769 --> 00:07:32,646 I didn't get that joke either. 134 00:07:32,809 --> 00:07:35,642 The crook has the machine. The messages aren't for him... 135 00:07:35,809 --> 00:07:37,481 ...he's the crook. 136 00:07:37,649 --> 00:07:39,719 Why would he answer-? 137 00:07:40,929 --> 00:07:42,760 How did you get in here? 138 00:07:47,329 --> 00:07:49,889 I walked in. Your lobby door is broken again. 139 00:07:50,049 --> 00:07:51,243 Again? 140 00:07:51,409 --> 00:07:53,001 I don't know how you put up with this. 141 00:07:53,169 --> 00:07:55,000 - Yeah. Tell him, George. - Thanks. 142 00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:57,047 You would still wanna move in here? 143 00:07:57,209 --> 00:07:58,961 Yes. You don't understand. 144 00:07:59,129 --> 00:08:02,599 I'm living with Ethel Merman without the talent. 145 00:08:03,409 --> 00:08:06,560 Is that other apartment still available? 146 00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:13,122 I got ripped off for about the... 147 00:08:13,649 --> 00:08:15,207 ...eighteenth time. 148 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:18,607 The first couple of times you go through it, it's very upsetting. 149 00:08:18,769 --> 00:08:21,567 Your first reaction, or one of your friends, will say: 150 00:08:21,729 --> 00:08:25,324 "Call the police. You really should call the police." 151 00:08:25,489 --> 00:08:28,208 So you think to yourself, you know, you watch TV, you think: 152 00:08:28,369 --> 00:08:32,760 "Yeah, I'm calling the police. Stakeouts, manhunts. 153 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,920 I'm gonna see some real action." 154 00:08:35,089 --> 00:08:36,317 Right? You think that. 155 00:08:36,489 --> 00:08:38,684 So the police come over to your house. 156 00:08:38,849 --> 00:08:41,079 They fill out the report. 157 00:08:41,609 --> 00:08:44,442 They give you your copy. 158 00:08:45,529 --> 00:08:48,999 Now, unless they give the crook his copy... 159 00:08:49,169 --> 00:08:52,286 ...I don't really think we're gonna crack this case. Do you? 160 00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:56,606 It's not like Batman, where there's three crooks in the city... 161 00:08:56,769 --> 00:09:00,000 ...and everybody pretty much knows who they are. 162 00:09:01,689 --> 00:09:03,327 Very few crooks go to the trouble... 163 00:09:03,489 --> 00:09:07,084 ...to come up with a theme for their careers anymore. 164 00:09:07,249 --> 00:09:09,809 It makes them a lot tougher to spot. 165 00:09:10,169 --> 00:09:13,206 "Did you lose a Sony? It could be The Penguin. 166 00:09:14,809 --> 00:09:16,242 I think we can round him up. 167 00:09:16,409 --> 00:09:18,525 He's dressed like a penguin. 168 00:09:19,009 --> 00:09:21,569 We can find him. He's a penguin." 169 00:09:30,449 --> 00:09:33,680 Well, come on. 170 00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:39,245 This is an apartment. This is a home. 171 00:09:39,409 --> 00:09:41,923 This is a place to live. 172 00:09:43,129 --> 00:09:44,801 A fireplace! 173 00:09:44,969 --> 00:09:46,766 Are you kidding me? Does this work? 174 00:09:46,929 --> 00:09:50,558 I didn't know there was a fireplace. A fireplace! That's incredible. 175 00:09:50,729 --> 00:09:53,004 - How do you get all that wood in here? - They deliver. 176 00:09:53,169 --> 00:09:55,364 - They deliver wood? - Yeah. 177 00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,879 What do you tip a wood guy? 178 00:09:58,689 --> 00:10:02,125 - I didn't know there was a fireplace. - Look. Look, look at this. 179 00:10:02,289 --> 00:10:04,120 - There's a garden. - A garden? 180 00:10:04,289 --> 00:10:06,883 I can't believe there's a garden. 181 00:10:07,049 --> 00:10:09,722 - Would I have to get a gardener? - Yeah, you can get a gardener. 182 00:10:10,049 --> 00:10:11,926 - You tip him? - You can. 183 00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,488 You don't tip a gardener. 184 00:10:13,649 --> 00:10:16,721 - You can tip a gardener. - You don't need a gardener. 185 00:10:17,329 --> 00:10:19,399 Jerry, you can barbecue back here. 186 00:10:19,649 --> 00:10:21,207 They deliver the coal? 187 00:10:21,609 --> 00:10:24,407 Sure. It's probably the same guy who delivers the wood. 188 00:10:24,569 --> 00:10:26,560 Oh, then I gotta tip him. 189 00:10:27,449 --> 00:10:30,088 Oh, man, this place is incredible. 190 00:10:30,249 --> 00:10:31,887 Look at all this great light. 191 00:10:32,129 --> 00:10:35,565 - I don't have any plants. - I have plants. 192 00:10:37,529 --> 00:10:39,759 Jerry, look at this closet. 193 00:10:39,929 --> 00:10:43,160 Look at this. I'm walking in it. It's a walk-in. 194 00:10:43,329 --> 00:10:46,844 Can you believe it? I'm nuts about this. What do you think? 195 00:10:50,529 --> 00:10:52,360 I like that. 196 00:10:59,969 --> 00:11:03,006 - What do you think, George? - It's your decision. 197 00:11:24,449 --> 00:11:26,838 I'm taking it. I'm taking the place. I'm gonna take it. 198 00:11:27,009 --> 00:11:29,443 This is gonna be my new place. I'm living here. 199 00:11:29,609 --> 00:11:30,758 - I'm moving. - You're moving? 200 00:11:30,929 --> 00:11:33,523 That means I'm moving. 201 00:11:33,809 --> 00:11:35,959 Gee, is that incredible? 202 00:11:36,449 --> 00:11:38,440 Congratulations. 203 00:11:42,729 --> 00:11:44,799 - What about the couch? - You like the couch? 204 00:11:44,969 --> 00:11:46,766 - Tell you what I'm gonna do. - What? 205 00:11:46,929 --> 00:11:50,763 You're moving in, you're a good friend. I wanna start you off on the right foot. 206 00:11:50,929 --> 00:11:52,840 Give me... 207 00:11:53,329 --> 00:11:55,365 ...a hundred and fifty dollars. 208 00:11:57,009 --> 00:12:00,240 - In fact, get it out of here right now. - Excuse me. 209 00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,967 A hundred and fifty dollars? For what? For this couch? 210 00:12:05,129 --> 00:12:07,324 - Yeah. - For this couch? 211 00:12:08,129 --> 00:12:10,404 Okay, you tell me. What is it worth? 212 00:12:11,089 --> 00:12:13,080 Okay... 213 00:12:14,009 --> 00:12:16,125 I tell you what. 214 00:12:16,449 --> 00:12:19,407 I could go as high as... 215 00:12:19,809 --> 00:12:21,879 I don't know. Maybe... 216 00:12:22,049 --> 00:12:23,402 ...twenty dollars? 217 00:12:27,129 --> 00:12:28,721 - Yeah? - Yeah, it's George. 218 00:12:28,889 --> 00:12:30,561 Come on up. 219 00:12:33,489 --> 00:12:36,526 Forget it, I'm gonna take it with me. I'll just pack up the cushions- 220 00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:40,204 Okay. Okay, you win. $40. 221 00:12:40,369 --> 00:12:42,246 You wanna help me get it in the hall? 222 00:12:42,409 --> 00:12:45,924 - Fifty dollars, okay? Is that all right? - Fifty dollars? 223 00:12:46,209 --> 00:12:49,087 - Thank you very much. - Thank you very much. 224 00:12:49,409 --> 00:12:51,081 Hey. What's going on? 225 00:12:51,249 --> 00:12:54,685 I just bought Jerry's couch for $50. 226 00:12:54,929 --> 00:12:56,885 So did you bring the lease? 227 00:12:59,569 --> 00:13:00,763 Okay. 228 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:04,049 Gee, three years. That kind of seems like a long time. 229 00:13:04,209 --> 00:13:05,881 Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. 230 00:13:06,129 --> 00:13:10,088 Listen, if you are feeling uncomfortable about this at all, at all... 231 00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:12,524 ...do not feel like you have to take it. 232 00:13:13,169 --> 00:13:16,047 - Why? - If you're having second thoughts... 233 00:13:16,209 --> 00:13:17,528 ...if you didn't want it... 234 00:13:17,689 --> 00:13:21,318 ...don't worry about it, because, you know, I... 235 00:13:21,849 --> 00:13:23,328 I could take it. 236 00:13:24,809 --> 00:13:27,039 You could take it? You want it? 237 00:13:27,209 --> 00:13:30,087 No, I don't want it. I want it if you don't want it. 238 00:13:30,249 --> 00:13:32,524 So you do want it. 239 00:13:32,689 --> 00:13:34,566 I want it if you don't want it. 240 00:13:34,889 --> 00:13:39,246 - You just said you wanted it. - No, I'm saying if a situation arose... 241 00:13:39,409 --> 00:13:42,048 ...in which you didn't want it, I might take it. 242 00:13:42,409 --> 00:13:43,842 - So take it. - How can I take it? 243 00:13:44,009 --> 00:13:45,806 - How can I take it? - It's your apartment. 244 00:13:45,969 --> 00:13:48,039 How can I want it now, if you want it? 245 00:13:48,209 --> 00:13:50,439 Excuse me. I don't mean to cause any trouble... 246 00:13:50,609 --> 00:13:54,079 ...but, George, if you take it, can I take your place? 247 00:13:55,489 --> 00:13:57,639 Yes, but I am not taking it. 248 00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,199 I am not taking it. 249 00:14:00,369 --> 00:14:02,439 Well, one of you better damn well take it. 250 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,725 - Well, what do you wanna do here? - I don't know. 251 00:14:05,569 --> 00:14:07,480 You wanna flip a coin? 252 00:14:08,449 --> 00:14:10,246 Who flips? 253 00:14:11,049 --> 00:14:13,165 - You flip, I'll call. - Okay, fine. 254 00:14:13,329 --> 00:14:16,048 - All right. All right. - This is the official flip. 255 00:14:16,529 --> 00:14:20,807 No crying, no guilt. Winner takes all and that's it. Agreed? 256 00:14:20,969 --> 00:14:22,800 - I'm good. - I don't know who to root for. 257 00:14:22,969 --> 00:14:25,324 George's place has carpeting. 258 00:14:25,969 --> 00:14:28,358 - All right. Now, you call it in the air. - No catching. 259 00:14:28,529 --> 00:14:29,882 - No, no. - All right, flip it. 260 00:14:30,049 --> 00:14:31,277 Heads! 261 00:14:34,329 --> 00:14:36,206 - Tails. - No, it hit the table. 262 00:14:36,369 --> 00:14:39,202 - So what? - Interference. You can't count that. 263 00:14:39,369 --> 00:14:42,122 Come on, are you crazy? The coin cannot touch anything. 264 00:14:42,289 --> 00:14:45,008 - It affects it. - You didn't call "no interference." 265 00:14:45,169 --> 00:14:46,921 You don't have to call it. That's a rule! 266 00:14:47,089 --> 00:14:49,762 - I don't believe this. - All right. Fine, Jerry. 267 00:14:49,929 --> 00:14:53,239 - You win. Take it, just take it. - I don't wanna win it like this. 268 00:14:53,409 --> 00:14:56,207 Elaine, what do you think? 269 00:14:57,249 --> 00:14:59,001 I better not. 270 00:15:02,609 --> 00:15:04,600 I'll tell you what, I'll choose you for it. 271 00:15:04,769 --> 00:15:07,761 Straight choose, three takes it. No disputes. 272 00:15:07,929 --> 00:15:09,885 That's it. You gotta win three. 273 00:15:10,289 --> 00:15:11,483 Okay. 274 00:15:15,129 --> 00:15:16,608 Okay. 275 00:15:17,129 --> 00:15:18,448 I'll choose you. 276 00:15:20,369 --> 00:15:22,564 - What do you want? - Odds. 277 00:15:22,929 --> 00:15:25,762 - I want evens. - Good. 278 00:15:26,609 --> 00:15:28,918 - You got odds. - You got evens. 279 00:15:29,089 --> 00:15:30,363 Right. 280 00:15:30,609 --> 00:15:33,362 - Ready. - For the apartment. 281 00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:35,208 - Once, twice, three, shoot! - Mine! 282 00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:37,007 - Once, twice, three, shoot. - Mine! 283 00:15:43,889 --> 00:15:45,800 - Once, twice, three, shoot! - Mine! 284 00:15:45,969 --> 00:15:48,199 Once, twice, three, shoot! 285 00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:54,121 Congratulations. 286 00:15:54,289 --> 00:15:56,359 - Congratulations. - Thanks. 287 00:15:56,529 --> 00:15:59,168 I'm just gonna wash... 288 00:16:01,009 --> 00:16:04,684 Why did I put out two? Why did I put out two?! 289 00:16:06,129 --> 00:16:08,199 Jerry? I think I'm on to something. 290 00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:10,647 I think I found your stuff. 291 00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:12,999 You know the Englishman who lives down the hall? 292 00:16:13,169 --> 00:16:15,399 The last couple days, he's been acting very strange. 293 00:16:15,569 --> 00:16:17,799 - I think he's avoiding me. - Hard to imagine. 294 00:16:17,969 --> 00:16:21,882 Yeah, and get this. I just got off the elevator with him and I tested him. 295 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:25,485 I tested him, like, this is what I said, like this. I went: 296 00:16:25,649 --> 00:16:29,324 "Oh, by the way, I know about the stuff." 297 00:16:29,729 --> 00:16:32,243 You know, very casual so he'll take me into his confidence. 298 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:35,367 - So, what did he say? - "What stuff?" 299 00:16:37,249 --> 00:16:39,809 - Case closed. - No, no. You don't understand. 300 00:16:39,969 --> 00:16:43,086 See, he swallowed. See, the guy, he swallowed. 301 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,205 Oh, he was nervous about something. 302 00:16:47,289 --> 00:16:50,520 Now, I'm gonna go over there. I'm gonna borrow some tea. 303 00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:53,887 If I don't get back in five minutes, you better call the police. 304 00:16:54,049 --> 00:16:56,927 Okay. Starting now! 305 00:16:57,089 --> 00:16:58,488 Yeah. 306 00:17:01,409 --> 00:17:02,728 One problem in life is... 307 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:05,642 ...as a kid, you have a certain way of working out disagreements. 308 00:17:06,049 --> 00:17:08,802 And those laws do not work in the adult world. 309 00:17:08,969 --> 00:17:12,962 One of the main ways that kids resolve any dispute is by calling it. 310 00:17:13,129 --> 00:17:16,485 One of them says, "I got the front seat.""I wanted it.""I called it." 311 00:17:18,129 --> 00:17:20,768 And the other kid knows he's got nothing to say. 312 00:17:20,929 --> 00:17:22,487 "He called it. What can I do?" 313 00:17:22,649 --> 00:17:24,719 If there was a kid court of law, it holds up. 314 00:17:24,889 --> 00:17:29,679 "Your Honour, my client did ask for the front seat." 315 00:17:30,209 --> 00:17:32,803 And the judge would go, "Did he call it?" 316 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:36,678 "Well, no, he didn't call it."Bang. "He has to call it. Case closed. 317 00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:39,044 Objection overruled." 318 00:17:40,489 --> 00:17:42,639 I love the mirror in that bathroom. 319 00:17:42,809 --> 00:17:45,881 I don't know what in the hell it is, I look terrific in that mirror. 320 00:17:46,089 --> 00:17:48,319 I don't know if it's the tile or the lighting. 321 00:17:48,529 --> 00:17:50,804 I feel like Robert Wagner in there. 322 00:17:52,369 --> 00:17:53,927 It's a good mirror. 323 00:17:55,689 --> 00:17:57,327 - What are you getting? - I don't know. 324 00:17:57,489 --> 00:18:00,003 What can you eat? You can't have anything anymore. 325 00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:03,963 Look at this, look at this. Eggs, out. Coffee, out. 326 00:18:04,129 --> 00:18:06,927 French fries, out. BLT, out. 327 00:18:08,369 --> 00:18:11,247 I visit my grandparents, they're eating big brisket sandwiches. 328 00:18:11,409 --> 00:18:13,320 I'm sitting there with a carrot. 329 00:18:13,489 --> 00:18:16,925 They're closing in on 100, I'm saying to them, "How can you eat that stuff?" 330 00:18:22,409 --> 00:18:25,162 I'm so sick about losing that choose. You don't know. I... 331 00:18:25,569 --> 00:18:28,959 All right. Forget it. Forget it. I'm not taking the place. 332 00:18:29,129 --> 00:18:31,040 - What? - How can I live there? 333 00:18:31,209 --> 00:18:33,165 - Why not? - You're still thinking about it. 334 00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,889 - I'll never feel comfortable. - Oh, get out of here. 335 00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:38,847 How can I ever have you over? You'll sit there moping. 336 00:18:39,129 --> 00:18:41,484 - I won't mope. - You're already moping. 337 00:18:41,809 --> 00:18:45,279 - Would you take the place? - No. Impossible. It's your apartment. 338 00:18:45,449 --> 00:18:48,009 - You found the place. - You won the choose. 339 00:18:48,849 --> 00:18:50,601 All right. Forget it. I'm not moving. 340 00:18:50,769 --> 00:18:52,122 Well, me neither. 341 00:18:52,369 --> 00:18:54,405 - Definitely? - Definitely. 342 00:18:55,409 --> 00:18:58,606 All right, then, just get rid of it. You won't have any problem. 343 00:18:58,769 --> 00:19:02,284 No, it's not a problem. I can get rid of the apartment this afternoon. 344 00:19:02,449 --> 00:19:04,007 What apartment? 345 00:19:04,169 --> 00:19:06,444 Oh, it's a great place. It's a two-bedroom... 346 00:19:06,609 --> 00:19:08,804 ...West 83rd, half-block from the park. 347 00:19:08,969 --> 00:19:10,846 What's the rent? 348 00:19:21,209 --> 00:19:24,838 I hate housewarmings. What are we doing here? This is ridiculous. 349 00:19:25,009 --> 00:19:27,159 She wanted to thank us for the apartment. 350 00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:33,447 I can't believe I lost the deposit on that U-Haul... 351 00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:36,522 ...and I threw out my couch. 352 00:19:38,129 --> 00:19:42,122 - If only the coin hadn't hit the table. - The table is interference, you know it. 353 00:19:42,289 --> 00:19:44,405 - It is not. - It is too. 354 00:19:44,769 --> 00:19:48,444 My roommate starts rehearsal tonight on Carousel. 355 00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:52,284 - Hi. - Oh, hi, Carol. 356 00:19:52,449 --> 00:19:55,964 I just wanted to introduce you to my husband. This is Larry. 357 00:19:56,169 --> 00:19:59,002 This is George, Elaine and Jerry. 358 00:19:59,409 --> 00:20:02,082 These are the guys who got us the apartment. 359 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,321 You don't know how grateful I am. 360 00:20:04,489 --> 00:20:06,719 If there's anything I can do to repay you- 361 00:20:06,889 --> 00:20:09,323 - We're just so thrilled with this place. - It's a dream. 362 00:20:09,649 --> 00:20:11,526 I'm running in the park, I've lost weight... 363 00:20:11,689 --> 00:20:15,079 ...we're barbecuing every night. And the rent is unbelievable. 364 00:20:18,489 --> 00:20:20,639 We're really glad for you. 365 00:20:21,649 --> 00:20:23,162 Couldn't be happier. 366 00:20:23,329 --> 00:20:24,603 It's wonderful. 367 00:20:26,009 --> 00:20:28,204 Oh, Diane. Diane, come here. 368 00:20:28,689 --> 00:20:31,408 This is my new next-door neighbour, Diane. 369 00:20:32,049 --> 00:20:36,088 These are the guys who turned this place down. Can you believe it? 370 00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:40,362 Diane gave me the greatest back rub today. She's a masseuse. 371 00:20:42,929 --> 00:20:46,001 How could you guys have turned this place down? 372 00:20:46,169 --> 00:20:50,287 It's such a great location and it's so close to the park. 373 00:20:50,529 --> 00:20:53,601 We're aware of the proximity to the park. 374 00:20:55,009 --> 00:20:58,285 Well, it was nice to meet you. 375 00:20:58,529 --> 00:21:00,485 Nice meeting you. 376 00:21:10,129 --> 00:21:13,963 How late are the stores open? I'm thinking of maybe buying a new TV... 377 00:21:14,129 --> 00:21:16,518 ...and smashing it over my head. 378 00:21:17,129 --> 00:21:18,881 So I get a call from Gilmore this morning. 379 00:21:19,049 --> 00:21:23,088 They're restructuring the organization in Atlanta. I gotta be there on the 1 st. 380 00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:24,728 Really? What about your apartment? 381 00:21:24,889 --> 00:21:26,925 What can I do? I'll give it up. 382 00:21:27,089 --> 00:21:29,000 What's the rent? 383 00:22:02,609 --> 00:22:04,600 Subtitles by SDI Media Group