1 00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:04,161 Whenever I see the news and they're... 2 00:00:04,329 --> 00:00:08,959 ...hauling in some criminal, terrorist, psycho, maniac, mass-murderer guy... 3 00:00:11,409 --> 00:00:13,286 You notice he's always covering up his face? 4 00:00:13,449 --> 00:00:14,598 What is he worried about? 5 00:00:14,769 --> 00:00:16,680 I mean, what is this man's reputation... 6 00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:19,966 ...that he has to worry about this kind of exposure... 7 00:00:20,129 --> 00:00:22,597 ...damaging his good name? 8 00:00:22,769 --> 00:00:25,647 I mean, what is he, up for a big job promotion... 9 00:00:25,809 --> 00:00:27,322 ...down at the office or something? 10 00:00:27,489 --> 00:00:29,639 Afraid the boss is gonna catch this on TV and go: 11 00:00:29,809 --> 00:00:33,165 "Isn't that Johnson from sales? 12 00:00:33,329 --> 00:00:36,685 He's up in that clock tower, picking people off one by one. 13 00:00:36,849 --> 00:00:38,441 I don't know if that's the kind of man... 14 00:00:38,609 --> 00:00:40,759 ...we want heading up that new branch office. 15 00:00:40,929 --> 00:00:46,242 He should be in bill collection. I think he's got aptitude." 16 00:00:53,809 --> 00:00:56,004 She was great. 17 00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:57,961 You don't want to know. 18 00:00:58,129 --> 00:01:02,008 Hey, Brecky, remind me to tell you what we did in Lake George. 19 00:01:02,169 --> 00:01:05,479 Get this, I got it all on video. 20 00:01:06,529 --> 00:01:08,485 That's it. This is it. 21 00:01:08,649 --> 00:01:10,560 I'm done! Through! It's over! 22 00:01:10,729 --> 00:01:12,481 I'm gone! Finished! Over! 23 00:01:12,649 --> 00:01:15,209 I will never work for you again! Look at you. 24 00:01:15,369 --> 00:01:17,325 You think you're an important man? 25 00:01:17,609 --> 00:01:20,248 You are a laughingstock. You are a joke. 26 00:01:20,409 --> 00:01:22,206 These people are laughing at you! 27 00:01:22,369 --> 00:01:26,920 You're nothing! You have no brains, no ability, nothing! 28 00:01:27,089 --> 00:01:28,761 I quit! 29 00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:35,918 - Hey. - Hey. 30 00:01:36,089 --> 00:01:38,808 Boy, I have really had it with Newman. 31 00:01:38,969 --> 00:01:42,041 He wakes me up again, last night, at 3:00 in the morning... 32 00:01:42,209 --> 00:01:44,439 ...to tell me he's going on the roof to kill himself. 33 00:01:44,609 --> 00:01:46,918 - Well, what did you say? - I said, "Jump." 34 00:01:48,489 --> 00:01:50,639 He's been threatening to do this for years. 35 00:01:50,809 --> 00:01:54,722 I said, "If you're gonna kill yourself, do it already and stop bothering me." 36 00:01:55,209 --> 00:01:58,360 At least I'd respect the guy for accomplishing something. 37 00:01:58,529 --> 00:01:59,803 What's his problem? 38 00:01:59,969 --> 00:02:01,482 No job, no women. 39 00:02:02,009 --> 00:02:04,204 He called the right guy. 40 00:02:05,129 --> 00:02:06,448 What am I supposed to tell him? 41 00:02:06,609 --> 00:02:08,520 How much there is for him to live for? 42 00:02:09,369 --> 00:02:11,007 Why should I lie to him? 43 00:02:11,849 --> 00:02:13,487 I'm leaving. I'm going to the laundry. 44 00:02:13,649 --> 00:02:16,038 Why don't you use the machines down in the basement? 45 00:02:16,529 --> 00:02:18,599 Fluff and fold, the only way to live. 46 00:02:18,769 --> 00:02:22,728 I drop it off, I pick it up. It's a delight. 47 00:02:23,569 --> 00:02:25,799 - How about if I put a-? - I don't want to do that. 48 00:02:25,969 --> 00:02:30,247 - What, you're going over there, what? - I don't want to mix in everything. 49 00:02:30,409 --> 00:02:33,719 My guys don't know your guys. 50 00:02:34,169 --> 00:02:37,320 You can't just lock them all in the same machine together. 51 00:02:37,489 --> 00:02:38,763 They'll start a riot. 52 00:02:38,929 --> 00:02:40,442 Have you ever met my guys? 53 00:02:40,849 --> 00:02:44,285 - No, I can't say as I have. - Well... 54 00:02:44,449 --> 00:02:46,519 All right, put them on top. 55 00:02:47,649 --> 00:02:49,480 Oh, beautiful. 56 00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:51,562 This stuff on top is my friend's. 57 00:02:51,729 --> 00:02:53,765 Could I get it done in a separate machine? 58 00:02:53,929 --> 00:02:55,760 I'll have to charge you for another machine. 59 00:02:55,929 --> 00:02:57,442 Whatever it costs. In fact... 60 00:02:57,609 --> 00:03:01,158 ...I would prefer it if the machines are not even touching each other... 61 00:03:01,329 --> 00:03:04,002 ...because something could, you know, jump across. 62 00:03:05,969 --> 00:03:07,482 Guess what. 63 00:03:08,929 --> 00:03:11,363 - How did you know I was here? - Kramer. Guess what. 64 00:03:11,529 --> 00:03:13,759 - I don't know. - I quit my job. 65 00:03:13,929 --> 00:03:16,284 - Get out of here. - I couldn't take it anymore. 66 00:03:16,449 --> 00:03:17,928 You can have this on Monday. 67 00:03:18,089 --> 00:03:19,238 What happened? Levitan? 68 00:03:19,409 --> 00:03:22,287 I go in to use his private bathroom. Everybody uses it. 69 00:03:22,449 --> 00:03:24,201 And then I get a memo- A memo... 70 00:03:24,369 --> 00:03:27,247 ...telling me to use the men's room in the hall. 71 00:03:27,409 --> 00:03:30,446 I mean, we share it with Pace Electronics. It's disgusting! 72 00:03:30,969 --> 00:03:32,197 You and your toilets. 73 00:03:32,369 --> 00:03:35,406 I snapped. It was the last straw. 74 00:03:36,129 --> 00:03:38,927 What are you gonna do? Look for something else in real estate? 75 00:03:39,089 --> 00:03:41,159 Nobody's hiring now. The market's terrible. 76 00:03:42,049 --> 00:03:44,244 So, what are you gonna do? 77 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,285 I like sports. I could do something in sports. 78 00:03:56,249 --> 00:03:57,477 In what capacity? 79 00:04:00,089 --> 00:04:03,081 You know, like the general manager of a baseball team. 80 00:04:06,889 --> 00:04:09,119 Yeah, well, that- That can be tough to get. 81 00:04:10,329 --> 00:04:13,241 Well, it doesn't even have to be the general manager. 82 00:04:13,529 --> 00:04:16,168 Maybe I could be, like, an announcer, like, a colour man. 83 00:04:16,329 --> 00:04:17,603 You know how I always make... 84 00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:19,566 ...interesting comments during the game? 85 00:04:20,249 --> 00:04:22,285 Yeah. Yeah, you make good comments. 86 00:04:22,449 --> 00:04:24,121 So, what about that? 87 00:04:24,289 --> 00:04:27,804 Well, they tend to give those jobs to ex-ballplayers... 88 00:04:27,969 --> 00:04:32,042 ...and people that are, you know, in broadcasting. 89 00:04:36,369 --> 00:04:39,122 - Well, that's really not fair. - I know. 90 00:04:40,449 --> 00:04:44,124 Well, okay, okay. What else do you like? 91 00:04:44,689 --> 00:04:46,122 Movies. I like to watch movies. 92 00:04:47,529 --> 00:04:49,008 Yeah, yeah. 93 00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,719 Do they pay people to watch movies? 94 00:04:52,369 --> 00:04:54,166 Projectionists. 95 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:57,047 - That's true. - But you got to know... 96 00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:59,120 ...how to work the projector. 97 00:04:59,609 --> 00:05:01,327 Right. 98 00:05:01,489 --> 00:05:03,241 And it's probably a union thing. 99 00:05:04,049 --> 00:05:05,801 Those unions. 100 00:05:07,129 --> 00:05:09,723 Okay, sports... 101 00:05:09,889 --> 00:05:11,720 ...movies... 102 00:05:13,169 --> 00:05:15,239 What about a talk show host? 103 00:05:16,529 --> 00:05:18,599 Talk show host, that's good. 104 00:05:19,049 --> 00:05:20,528 I think I'd be good at that. 105 00:05:20,689 --> 00:05:22,725 I talk to people all the time. 106 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,845 Someone said once I'd be a good talk show host. 107 00:05:25,009 --> 00:05:27,364 - Really? - Yeah, a couple of people. 108 00:05:30,929 --> 00:05:32,601 How do you get that? Where do you start? 109 00:05:32,769 --> 00:05:35,329 Well, that's where it gets tricky. 110 00:05:36,289 --> 00:05:39,486 You can't walk into a building and say, "I want to be a talk show host." 111 00:05:39,649 --> 00:05:41,162 I wouldn't think so. 112 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,407 It's all politics. 113 00:05:44,089 --> 00:05:48,685 All right, okay, sports, movies, talk show host... 114 00:05:48,889 --> 00:05:50,607 What else? 115 00:05:53,809 --> 00:05:55,879 This could have been a huge mistake. 116 00:05:57,089 --> 00:06:00,206 Yeah, well, it doesn't sound like you completely thought this through. 117 00:06:01,009 --> 00:06:02,522 I guess not. 118 00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:06,041 - What should I do? - Maybe you can just go back. 119 00:06:07,089 --> 00:06:08,317 - Go back? - Yeah. 120 00:06:08,689 --> 00:06:10,122 Pretend like it never happened. 121 00:06:11,529 --> 00:06:14,282 You mean just walk in on Monday morning like it never happened? 122 00:06:14,449 --> 00:06:16,724 Sure. You're an emotional person. 123 00:06:16,889 --> 00:06:19,687 People don't take you seriously. 124 00:06:20,809 --> 00:06:23,084 Just go back. 125 00:06:23,369 --> 00:06:25,724 - Pretend it never happened. - Never happened. 126 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,846 I was blowing off a little steam. So what? 127 00:06:28,009 --> 00:06:31,240 - So what? You're entitled. - I'm emotional. 128 00:06:31,409 --> 00:06:33,320 That's right, you're emotional. 129 00:06:33,929 --> 00:06:36,762 - Never happened. - Never happened. 130 00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:40,367 To me, the most annoying thing... 131 00:06:40,529 --> 00:06:43,487 ...about the couple of times I did work in an office... 132 00:06:43,649 --> 00:06:46,447 ...is when you go in in the morning, you say "hi"to everyone... 133 00:06:46,609 --> 00:06:48,486 ...and then, throughout the day... 134 00:06:48,649 --> 00:06:51,607 ...you have to continue to greet these people... 135 00:06:51,769 --> 00:06:54,124 ...all day, every time you see them. 136 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:57,008 "Morning, Bill.""Morning, Bob." "How you doing?""Fine." 137 00:06:57,169 --> 00:06:59,888 Ten minutes later, you see them in the hall, "How you doing?" 138 00:07:00,049 --> 00:07:02,802 Every time you pass, you've gotta come up with another greeting. 139 00:07:02,969 --> 00:07:04,527 You start racking your brains. 140 00:07:04,689 --> 00:07:08,045 You do the little eyebrow, you know, "Hey." 141 00:07:09,169 --> 00:07:11,046 You start coming up with nicknames for them. 142 00:07:11,209 --> 00:07:13,006 "Jimbo." 143 00:07:20,049 --> 00:07:21,641 How you doing? 144 00:07:22,249 --> 00:07:24,399 What are you doing here? 145 00:07:24,729 --> 00:07:26,321 What? I work here. 146 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,525 I thought you quit. 147 00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,886 What quit? Who quit? 148 00:07:34,209 --> 00:07:35,562 Bill, how was your weekend? 149 00:07:35,729 --> 00:07:38,118 Excellent weekend. What about your weekend? 150 00:07:38,289 --> 00:07:40,598 - Fine weekend. - Yeah, good weekend. 151 00:07:40,769 --> 00:07:43,567 Went up to the Cape. Took the kids sailing. 152 00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:45,287 Lisa was a little scared at first... 153 00:07:45,449 --> 00:07:47,519 ...but that kid's gonna be a good sailor someday. 154 00:07:47,689 --> 00:07:49,486 She's gonna be a fine sailor. 155 00:07:53,169 --> 00:07:55,364 Ava, what happened to you Friday afternoon? 156 00:07:55,529 --> 00:07:59,044 - I got tied up. - I'll bet you did. 157 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:04,209 I want to remind everyone that the 1 Oth anniversary party... 158 00:08:04,369 --> 00:08:07,884 ...for Rick Barr Properties is gonna be Wednesday afternoon at 4:00... 159 00:08:08,049 --> 00:08:10,005 ...in Lasky's Bar on Madison and 48th. 160 00:08:10,169 --> 00:08:14,606 I want all of you to be there. This really means a lot to me. 161 00:08:16,689 --> 00:08:18,600 Is that Costanza over there? 162 00:08:20,489 --> 00:08:22,366 What are you doing here? 163 00:08:22,929 --> 00:08:26,604 - What? - Am I crazy or didn't you quit? 164 00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:29,245 - When? - Friday. 165 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,047 Oh, what? That? 166 00:08:31,209 --> 00:08:33,643 Are you kidding? I didn't quit. 167 00:08:33,809 --> 00:08:36,039 Why, you took that seriously? 168 00:08:36,209 --> 00:08:38,165 You mean "laughingstock," all that stuff. 169 00:08:38,329 --> 00:08:39,682 Come on. Will you stop it? 170 00:08:39,849 --> 00:08:42,921 - "No brains, no ability"? - Teasing. 171 00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:46,240 Okay, I want you out of here. 172 00:08:46,409 --> 00:08:49,082 I don't know where you're getting this from. 173 00:08:49,369 --> 00:08:52,645 You're serious, aren't you? Oh, you see... 174 00:08:52,809 --> 00:08:54,527 ...you just don't know my sense of humour. 175 00:08:54,689 --> 00:08:58,443 I mean, Dan, don't I joke around all the time? 176 00:08:58,609 --> 00:09:00,520 I wouldn't say all the time. 177 00:09:00,689 --> 00:09:03,487 You can't win. You can't beat me. 178 00:09:03,729 --> 00:09:07,517 That's why I'm here, and you're there. 179 00:09:08,289 --> 00:09:09,802 Because I'm a winner. 180 00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:13,009 I'll always be a winner... 181 00:09:13,169 --> 00:09:16,525 ...and you'll always be a loser. 182 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:24,518 "I'll always be a winner, and you'll always be a loser." 183 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,361 This is what he said to me. 184 00:09:26,529 --> 00:09:28,679 - Well, so that's that. - No, that's not that. 185 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,080 - That's not that? - No. 186 00:09:31,249 --> 00:09:33,240 Well, if that's not that, what is that? 187 00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:36,128 I got some plans. I got plans. 188 00:09:36,289 --> 00:09:38,280 - What kind of plans? - What's the difference? 189 00:09:38,449 --> 00:09:40,121 You don't wanna tell me? 190 00:09:43,569 --> 00:09:45,799 I'm gonna slip him a Mickey. 191 00:09:48,609 --> 00:09:52,124 What, in his drink? Are you out of your mind? 192 00:09:52,289 --> 00:09:54,280 What are you, Peter Lorre? 193 00:09:54,609 --> 00:09:58,158 You don't understand. He's got this big party coming up. 194 00:09:58,329 --> 00:10:01,605 He's been looking forward to this. This is gonna destroy the whole thing. 195 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,323 - What if you destroy him? - No, no, no. Don't worry. 196 00:10:04,489 --> 00:10:06,286 It's perfectly safe. I researched it. 197 00:10:06,449 --> 00:10:08,565 He'll get a little woozy. 198 00:10:08,889 --> 00:10:10,880 He might keel over. 199 00:10:11,409 --> 00:10:15,448 - Well, what does that do? Big deal. - This is what they'd do in the movies. 200 00:10:15,609 --> 00:10:17,998 It's the beautiful thing. It's like a movie. 201 00:10:18,169 --> 00:10:20,842 I'm gonna slip him a Mickey. 202 00:10:21,609 --> 00:10:23,804 You've really gone mental. 203 00:10:24,489 --> 00:10:28,198 Where are you gonna get this Mickey? I can't believe I'm saying "Mickey." 204 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:32,199 I got a source. 205 00:10:32,609 --> 00:10:34,486 You got a Mickey source? 206 00:10:36,529 --> 00:10:39,089 And Elaine is gonna keep him busy. 207 00:10:39,569 --> 00:10:41,287 Elaine? How did you rope her into this? 208 00:10:41,449 --> 00:10:43,963 I told her what a sexist he is. How he cheats on his wife. 209 00:10:44,129 --> 00:10:46,927 - She knew that. - She didn't know he doesn't recycle. 210 00:10:47,089 --> 00:10:49,319 What is the point of all this? 211 00:10:49,489 --> 00:10:52,686 - Revenge. - The best revenge is living well. 212 00:10:53,169 --> 00:10:55,478 There's no chance of that. 213 00:11:06,129 --> 00:11:08,882 - Did you get your laundry? - Yeah. 214 00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:12,207 What's with you? 215 00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:14,247 He jumped. 216 00:11:14,969 --> 00:11:17,961 - What? - Newman jumped. 217 00:11:18,729 --> 00:11:22,608 - Did he call you last night? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 218 00:11:23,089 --> 00:11:25,080 What did you say? 219 00:11:25,289 --> 00:11:28,042 I said, "Wave to me when you pass my window." 220 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,161 Did he wave? 221 00:11:34,449 --> 00:11:37,600 No. He jumped from the second floor. 222 00:11:37,769 --> 00:11:40,567 Mr. Papanicolas saw him from across the street. 223 00:11:40,729 --> 00:11:42,765 He's lying out there faking. 224 00:11:42,929 --> 00:11:44,521 See, he's trying to get back at me. 225 00:11:47,529 --> 00:11:49,645 - Oh, my God. - What? What's the matter? 226 00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:52,642 On Thursday when I came home, I had 1500 dollars on me. 227 00:11:52,809 --> 00:11:55,243 For some reason, I decided to hide it in my laundry bag... 228 00:11:55,409 --> 00:11:58,207 ...and then I completely forgot about it. 229 00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:01,679 And then I took the laundry in on Friday! 230 00:12:02,609 --> 00:12:05,362 - Oh, come on, let's go. - Where? Where? 231 00:12:05,529 --> 00:12:07,326 To the Laundromat. 232 00:12:07,849 --> 00:12:08,998 I never saw it. 233 00:12:09,169 --> 00:12:12,081 Okay, come on, give the guy his money. What are you doing? 234 00:12:12,249 --> 00:12:13,967 Hey, you see that sign up there? 235 00:12:15,929 --> 00:12:18,363 I see. You put up a sign so you can do whatever you want. 236 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,042 You're not a part of society. 237 00:12:20,209 --> 00:12:21,358 Yeah, that's right. 238 00:12:21,529 --> 00:12:23,565 Because this place is my country... 239 00:12:23,729 --> 00:12:27,517 ...and I'm the president, and that's my Constitution. 240 00:12:27,929 --> 00:12:29,806 I'm not responsible. 241 00:12:29,969 --> 00:12:32,642 So anybody leaves anything here, you could just take it. 242 00:12:32,809 --> 00:12:34,037 You have a license to steal. 243 00:12:34,209 --> 00:12:37,360 You are like the James Bond of laundry. 244 00:12:39,089 --> 00:12:41,284 - You ever hear of a bank? - Come on, let's go. 245 00:12:41,449 --> 00:12:43,724 No, you can't let him get away with this. 246 00:12:47,729 --> 00:12:51,005 - Which one is he? - That's him over there. 247 00:12:51,169 --> 00:12:53,364 The one that looks like a blowfish. 248 00:12:55,569 --> 00:12:58,322 - Oh, yeah. I see him. - Yeah. 249 00:12:58,969 --> 00:13:00,368 Hey, thanks for doing this. 250 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,566 Why pass up the opportunity to go to prison? 251 00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:06,279 This is the most exciting thing I've ever done. 252 00:13:06,449 --> 00:13:08,485 Yeah, it is kind of cool. 253 00:13:08,649 --> 00:13:10,958 First time in my life I've ever gotten back at someone. 254 00:13:11,129 --> 00:13:14,519 I can't believe we're doing this. It's the kind of thing they do in the movies. 255 00:13:14,689 --> 00:13:16,088 That's exactly what I told Jerry. 256 00:13:16,249 --> 00:13:17,921 - Really? - Yes. 257 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:20,887 God, I've never felt so alive. 258 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,522 Maybe we should call this off. 259 00:13:30,929 --> 00:13:32,521 Come on, what's the big deal? 260 00:13:32,689 --> 00:13:36,079 We're just gonna put a little concrete in the washing machine. 261 00:13:37,249 --> 00:13:40,047 - And what's gonna happen? - Well, it'll mix up with the water... 262 00:13:40,209 --> 00:13:43,485 ...and then, by the end of the cycle, it'll be a solid block. 263 00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:49,084 If only you could put your mind to something worthwhile. 264 00:13:49,809 --> 00:13:52,243 You're like Lex Luthor. 265 00:13:53,649 --> 00:13:55,640 You keep him busy. 266 00:14:15,529 --> 00:14:18,441 You go over there, you start flirting with him... 267 00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:21,487 ...and I'll come by, and while you're keeping him busy... 268 00:14:21,649 --> 00:14:23,605 ...I'll slip it in his drink. 269 00:14:23,769 --> 00:14:26,078 Wouldn't it be easier just to punch him in the mouth? 270 00:14:26,969 --> 00:14:29,164 Come on. They're terrible. 271 00:14:29,329 --> 00:14:31,047 They got no infield. 272 00:14:33,249 --> 00:14:35,046 - Excuse me. - Yeah. 273 00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:37,006 I'm gonna get some food. You want some? 274 00:14:37,169 --> 00:14:38,488 No. 275 00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,568 Hi. 276 00:14:41,649 --> 00:14:43,162 Hi. 277 00:14:55,249 --> 00:14:57,001 God bless you. 278 00:14:57,769 --> 00:15:00,806 Thank you. Thank you very much. 279 00:15:04,689 --> 00:15:07,362 Really, I mean that. I am not one of those people... 280 00:15:07,529 --> 00:15:10,123 ...who gives insincere thank-yous. No, sir. No, sir. 281 00:15:10,289 --> 00:15:12,803 When I thank somebody, I really thank them. 282 00:15:12,969 --> 00:15:16,325 So thank you. 283 00:15:21,489 --> 00:15:24,322 - You're welcome. - People don't say "God bless you"... 284 00:15:24,489 --> 00:15:27,083 ...as much as they used to. Have you noticed that? 285 00:15:27,889 --> 00:15:29,288 No. 286 00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:40,886 So I'm going to a nudist colony next week. 287 00:15:42,529 --> 00:15:44,838 Nudist colony? Really? 288 00:15:45,009 --> 00:15:48,240 Oh, yeah, yeah. I love nudist colonies. 289 00:15:48,409 --> 00:15:51,082 They help me unwind. 290 00:15:52,009 --> 00:15:53,567 I've never been to a nudist colony. 291 00:15:53,729 --> 00:15:56,846 Oh, really? Oh, you should go. They're great. They're great. 292 00:15:57,009 --> 00:16:01,321 Of course, when it's over, it's hard to get used to all this clothing, you know. 293 00:16:01,489 --> 00:16:03,923 So a lot of times I'll just lock the door to my office... 294 00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,761 ...and I'll just sit there naked. 295 00:16:06,969 --> 00:16:09,437 - Seriously? - Oh, yeah. 296 00:16:10,209 --> 00:16:13,565 I usually work naked a couple hours a day. 297 00:16:14,929 --> 00:16:17,807 Glenda, can I ask you a favour? 298 00:16:17,969 --> 00:16:19,197 Could I have this seat? 299 00:16:19,929 --> 00:16:23,444 What do you have to sit here for? There are plenty of other seats. 300 00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:27,045 I can't explain. It's very important that I sit here. 301 00:16:27,209 --> 00:16:29,643 What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were fired. 302 00:16:29,809 --> 00:16:32,369 Okay, okay. Fine. 303 00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:37,965 I cook naked, I clean... 304 00:16:39,689 --> 00:16:43,602 I clean naked. I drive naked. 305 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:46,124 Naked, naked, naked. 306 00:16:47,209 --> 00:16:48,437 Who are you? 307 00:16:49,569 --> 00:16:52,037 Oh, you don't want to know, mister. I'm trouble. 308 00:16:52,209 --> 00:16:54,040 Big trouble. 309 00:17:05,129 --> 00:17:07,643 What about the gentle cycle? You ever use that? 310 00:17:15,889 --> 00:17:19,199 Do you think it's effeminate for a man to put clothes in a gentle cycle? 311 00:17:23,489 --> 00:17:27,118 What about fine fabrics? How do you deal with that kind of temperament? 312 00:17:33,249 --> 00:17:35,558 What about stonewashing? You ever witness one of those? 313 00:17:35,729 --> 00:17:40,200 That must be something. What, do they just pummel the jeans with rocks? 314 00:17:43,049 --> 00:17:45,609 I didn't realize it was a full box. 315 00:17:50,409 --> 00:17:52,525 I'm gonna count to three. 316 00:17:52,689 --> 00:17:54,884 If you don't give up the chair... 317 00:17:55,049 --> 00:17:57,609 ...the wig is coming off. 318 00:17:58,289 --> 00:18:00,723 I don't wear a wig. 319 00:18:01,489 --> 00:18:03,480 One... 320 00:18:06,249 --> 00:18:08,479 No, I'm sorry. I don't really have a phone. 321 00:18:08,649 --> 00:18:10,401 In fact, I don't really have an apartment. 322 00:18:10,569 --> 00:18:12,560 I kind of sleep around. 323 00:18:16,649 --> 00:18:18,207 I just like to have a few drinks... 324 00:18:18,369 --> 00:18:20,963 ...and then just let the guy do whatever he wants. 325 00:18:24,329 --> 00:18:26,559 Would you close your eyes a second? 326 00:18:26,729 --> 00:18:29,323 I want to tell you a secret about my bra. 327 00:18:36,729 --> 00:18:38,606 Hello, Rick. 328 00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:40,202 Hey, look who's here. 329 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,758 That's right, Ricky boy, it's me. 330 00:18:42,929 --> 00:18:46,126 You know something, Costanza, I'm a very lucky man. 331 00:18:46,289 --> 00:18:47,438 I've always been lucky. 332 00:18:47,609 --> 00:18:50,601 Things just to seem to fall right in my lap. 333 00:18:51,409 --> 00:18:54,082 You wouldn't believe it if I told you. 334 00:18:54,249 --> 00:18:57,605 In fact, I'm glad you're here, you know. 335 00:18:57,769 --> 00:19:00,044 Maybe I've been a little rough on you. 336 00:19:00,209 --> 00:19:02,120 Why should we let personal differences... 337 00:19:02,289 --> 00:19:03,563 ...get in the way of business? 338 00:19:03,729 --> 00:19:06,004 I... I want you to come back. 339 00:19:06,169 --> 00:19:10,640 And you can use my bathroom anytime you want. 340 00:19:11,689 --> 00:19:14,203 - You want me to come back? - Yeah. 341 00:19:14,369 --> 00:19:16,166 Hey, how about a toast, huh? 342 00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:18,524 - Everybody, a toast! - Rick. 343 00:19:18,769 --> 00:19:20,600 Everyone, I want to propose a toast... 344 00:19:20,769 --> 00:19:23,124 ...to 10 great years at Rick Barr Properties... 345 00:19:23,289 --> 00:19:25,928 - Rick. - ... and all the people in this room... 346 00:19:26,089 --> 00:19:27,807 - ... that made that possible. - Rick. 347 00:19:27,969 --> 00:19:30,278 I'd also like to welcome back into the fold... 348 00:19:30,449 --> 00:19:33,839 ...our little, shrimpy friend, George Costanza... 349 00:19:34,009 --> 00:19:37,319 ...who, although he really didn't have a very good year... 350 00:19:37,489 --> 00:19:40,049 How you blew that McConnell deal, I'll never know... 351 00:19:40,209 --> 00:19:42,120 ...but, hey, what the hell, huh? 352 00:19:42,289 --> 00:19:44,359 We've always enjoyed his antics around the office. 353 00:19:46,009 --> 00:19:48,000 Anything you want to add to this? 354 00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,441 Drink up! 355 00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:01,049 I like history, the Civil War. 356 00:20:03,729 --> 00:20:06,084 Maybe I could be a professor or something. 357 00:20:06,889 --> 00:20:11,246 Well, to teach something, you really have to know a lot about it. 358 00:20:11,889 --> 00:20:15,325 - I think you need a degree. - Yeah, that's true. 359 00:20:18,529 --> 00:20:20,599 - Hey, don't... - What? 360 00:20:24,889 --> 00:20:26,447 Oh, my God, the money. 361 00:20:26,609 --> 00:20:30,443 - The 1500, where'd you find it? - It was in my laundry. 362 00:20:31,009 --> 00:20:33,967 In your laundry? The whole time? 363 00:20:34,769 --> 00:20:38,557 I told you not to mix in our guys. 364 00:20:40,329 --> 00:20:42,684 What did we figure the damage on that machine would be? 365 00:20:43,569 --> 00:20:44,968 It was about 1200 bucks. 366 00:20:46,449 --> 00:20:48,087 Kramer! 367 00:20:48,249 --> 00:20:50,240 That's Newman. 368 00:20:50,409 --> 00:20:52,684 I'm on the roof! 369 00:20:54,769 --> 00:20:58,125 Well? What are you waiting for? 370 00:20:59,369 --> 00:21:01,360 Elaine, take a walk with me to the Laundromat. 371 00:21:01,529 --> 00:21:03,201 I got to pay this guy the money. 372 00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:06,766 I like horses. Maybe I could be a stable boy. 373 00:21:06,929 --> 00:21:09,648 You want to shoot some pool tonight? 374 00:21:09,809 --> 00:21:12,164 I can't. I'm going to a movie! 375 00:21:15,529 --> 00:21:18,965 Nah, it's probably a union thing. 376 00:21:26,169 --> 00:21:28,239 People like the idea of revenge. 377 00:21:28,409 --> 00:21:31,560 You ever hear the expression: "The best revenge is living well"? 378 00:21:31,729 --> 00:21:35,039 I've said this. In other words, it means, supposedly... 379 00:21:35,209 --> 00:21:36,801 ...the best way to get back at someone... 380 00:21:36,969 --> 00:21:40,120 ...is by being happy and successful in your own life. 381 00:21:40,289 --> 00:21:43,884 Sounds nice. Doesn't really work on that Charles Bronson kind of level. 382 00:21:44,049 --> 00:21:47,121 You know, those movies where his whole family gets wiped out... 383 00:21:47,289 --> 00:21:49,803 ...by some street scum. You think you could go up to him: 384 00:21:49,969 --> 00:21:53,598 "Charlie, forget the.357. You need a custom-made suit and a convertible... 385 00:21:53,769 --> 00:21:55,725 ...new carpeting, French doors, a divan. 386 00:21:55,889 --> 00:21:58,449 That'll show those punks." 387 00:22:02,929 --> 00:22:03,918 Subtitles by SDI Media Group