1 00:00:02,489 --> 00:00:07,358 You know, I gotta say that I'm enjoying adulthood for a lot of reasons. 2 00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:08,928 I'll tell you reason number one: 3 00:00:10,449 --> 00:00:14,567 As an adult, if I want a cookie, I have a cookie, okay? 4 00:00:14,729 --> 00:00:17,687 I have three cookies or four cookies... 5 00:00:17,849 --> 00:00:21,046 ...or 11 cookies if I want. 6 00:00:21,209 --> 00:00:26,237 Many times, I will intentionally ruin my entire appetite. 7 00:00:26,409 --> 00:00:27,603 Just ruin it. 8 00:00:27,769 --> 00:00:31,205 And then I call my mother up right after to tell her that I did it. 9 00:00:31,369 --> 00:00:34,725 "Hello, Mom? Yeah, I just ruined my entire appetite. 10 00:00:34,889 --> 00:00:36,925 Cookies." 11 00:00:38,089 --> 00:00:39,078 So what if you ruin it? 12 00:00:39,249 --> 00:00:42,127 As an adult, we understand even if you ruin an appetite... 13 00:00:42,289 --> 00:00:45,167 ...there's another appetite coming right behind it. 14 00:00:45,329 --> 00:00:47,968 There's no danger in running out of appetites. 15 00:00:48,129 --> 00:00:51,838 I've got millions of them. I ruin them whenever I want. 16 00:00:58,929 --> 00:01:01,523 Look, Zigmond. Look at the sky! 17 00:01:01,689 --> 00:01:03,805 The planet's on fire! 18 00:01:03,969 --> 00:01:06,039 It is just as you prophesised! 19 00:01:06,209 --> 00:01:09,645 The planets of our solar system incinerating... 20 00:01:09,809 --> 00:01:15,805 ...lik e flaming globes, Zigmond, lik e flaming globes! 21 00:01:20,049 --> 00:01:21,846 Zigmond... 22 00:01:43,409 --> 00:01:45,365 - Coffee. - Thank you. 23 00:01:48,009 --> 00:01:49,237 What do you got, a cucumber? 24 00:01:49,849 --> 00:01:51,919 Yeah. So what? 25 00:01:52,729 --> 00:01:54,685 You're bringing in an outside cucumber? 26 00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:57,807 They refuse to put cucumber in the salad. I need cucumber. 27 00:01:58,129 --> 00:02:00,359 What have I done? What-? I can't read this. 28 00:02:00,529 --> 00:02:03,919 "Fullman hurtel vom"? 29 00:02:05,049 --> 00:02:09,042 I got up last night, I wrote this down. I thought I had this great bit. 30 00:02:09,209 --> 00:02:11,325 Wait a second. 31 00:02:11,489 --> 00:02:14,799 "Fax me some halibut." 32 00:02:15,609 --> 00:02:17,520 Is that funny? Is that a joke? 33 00:02:17,689 --> 00:02:19,247 No. Let me see that. 34 00:02:19,609 --> 00:02:21,964 "Don't mess with Johnny." 35 00:02:22,369 --> 00:02:24,007 Johnny? Johnny who? 36 00:02:24,169 --> 00:02:27,047 Johnny Carson? Did I insult Johnny on The Tonight Show? 37 00:02:27,209 --> 00:02:29,677 Did you mess with Johnny, Jerry? 38 00:02:29,849 --> 00:02:30,998 Let me see that. 39 00:02:33,009 --> 00:02:34,522 - Hey, where's Kramer? - I don't know. 40 00:02:34,689 --> 00:02:36,884 That's like asking, "Where's Waldo?" 41 00:02:37,529 --> 00:02:39,121 I think I'm having a heart attack. 42 00:02:40,049 --> 00:02:41,528 I don't think that's it. 43 00:02:41,689 --> 00:02:43,600 - I'm not kidding. - What does that mean? 44 00:02:45,369 --> 00:02:47,724 I think what he's trying to say... 45 00:02:47,889 --> 00:02:49,845 ...is that he's having a heart attack. 46 00:02:50,009 --> 00:02:51,601 Oh, he's having a heart attack. 47 00:02:52,369 --> 00:02:53,927 - Tightness. - Come on. 48 00:02:54,089 --> 00:02:56,080 - Shortness of breath. - This is ridiculous. 49 00:02:56,249 --> 00:02:58,479 - Radiating waves of pain. - I know what this is! 50 00:02:58,649 --> 00:03:03,120 You saw that show on PBS last night, Coronary Country. 51 00:03:03,289 --> 00:03:05,519 I saw it in the TV Guide, I called him... 52 00:03:05,689 --> 00:03:07,884 ...told him make sure and not watch it. 53 00:03:08,049 --> 00:03:09,801 There was nothing else on. 54 00:03:09,969 --> 00:03:12,563 - Here, have some water. - Oh, the left arm, left arm. 55 00:03:13,169 --> 00:03:15,160 He saw that show on anorexia last year... 56 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:17,365 ...ate like an animal for two weeks. 57 00:03:17,529 --> 00:03:19,963 Why can't I have a heart attack?! I'm allowed. 58 00:03:20,129 --> 00:03:21,881 You want me to take you to the hospital? 59 00:03:22,209 --> 00:03:24,245 Manhattan Memorial. Less of a line. 60 00:03:24,409 --> 00:03:26,001 I'll call an ambulance. 61 00:03:28,089 --> 00:03:29,408 Is everything all right? 62 00:03:30,089 --> 00:03:31,886 We'll just take a check. 63 00:03:37,689 --> 00:03:38,963 You made a mistake on the- 64 00:03:39,129 --> 00:03:41,040 George. 65 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,361 Are you okay? 66 00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:56,519 I'm George. George Costanza. 67 00:03:57,409 --> 00:04:00,640 I never been in the hospital a day in my life... 68 00:04:01,089 --> 00:04:03,284 ...except when I had my tonsils out. 69 00:04:04,169 --> 00:04:07,559 You know, they never gave me any ice cream. 70 00:04:08,569 --> 00:04:11,037 - I always felt that if they- - Shut up! 71 00:04:13,089 --> 00:04:16,764 - Well, what do you think? - "Salami salami bologna." 72 00:04:16,929 --> 00:04:18,487 Definitely. 73 00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,879 "Salami salami bologna"? 74 00:04:21,049 --> 00:04:25,201 Oh, your friend's fine. He didn't have a heart attack. I'll be in in a few minutes. 75 00:04:25,369 --> 00:04:26,802 What a surprise. 76 00:04:30,089 --> 00:04:31,442 Hey. 77 00:04:31,609 --> 00:04:33,042 How you doing, buddy? 78 00:04:34,049 --> 00:04:35,402 You need anything? 79 00:04:36,169 --> 00:04:38,603 You want me to go out, get you a Superman comic? 80 00:04:39,129 --> 00:04:41,165 No. No, thanks. 81 00:04:41,689 --> 00:04:44,249 You know, I was wondering... 82 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,479 ...you know that Blackhawks jacket you have? 83 00:04:46,649 --> 00:04:49,686 Oh, sure, my Blackhawks jacket. I love my Blackhawks jacket. 84 00:04:49,849 --> 00:04:54,639 Well, you know, I was thinking, if things don't exactly... 85 00:04:56,009 --> 00:04:57,806 ...work out... 86 00:04:59,209 --> 00:05:01,848 Well, it wouldn't fit you. The sleeves are too short. 87 00:05:02,009 --> 00:05:03,761 No, I tried it on. It fits good. 88 00:05:04,849 --> 00:05:06,965 I didn't think about what I was gonna do... 89 00:05:07,129 --> 00:05:10,166 - ... with all the things... - Well, you know... 90 00:05:11,489 --> 00:05:13,207 Well... 91 00:05:13,369 --> 00:05:15,280 - Well, okay. - Oh, and... 92 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:18,009 ...do you think it'd be all right if I called Susan Davis? 93 00:05:18,169 --> 00:05:20,239 Susan Davis?! Hey, wait a second! 94 00:05:20,409 --> 00:05:23,128 Well, it's not like we'll be bumping into you. 95 00:05:24,249 --> 00:05:26,319 I don't know. You and Susan Davis? 96 00:05:26,489 --> 00:05:28,241 You know... 97 00:05:28,409 --> 00:05:30,161 ...if your future was more certain... 98 00:05:33,049 --> 00:05:34,323 Okay. 99 00:05:34,849 --> 00:05:36,726 Go ahead. Call her. 100 00:05:36,889 --> 00:05:39,005 Get married. Have babies. Have a great life. 101 00:05:39,729 --> 00:05:41,401 What do I care? I'm finished. 102 00:05:41,569 --> 00:05:43,560 It's all over for me. 103 00:05:45,049 --> 00:05:46,846 In fact... 104 00:05:47,009 --> 00:05:49,079 ...let's end it right now. 105 00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:50,602 Jerry... 106 00:05:50,769 --> 00:05:52,248 ...kill me. 107 00:05:53,369 --> 00:05:55,325 Kill me now. I'm begging you. 108 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,162 Let's just get it over with. Be a pal. 109 00:05:58,329 --> 00:06:01,207 Just take the pillow and put it over my face. 110 00:06:05,489 --> 00:06:06,478 Well... 111 00:06:07,129 --> 00:06:09,643 - What, kind of like this? - What-? What are you-? 112 00:06:10,489 --> 00:06:11,604 Jerry! Hey! 113 00:06:14,929 --> 00:06:15,918 Jerry! 114 00:06:18,689 --> 00:06:21,681 Elaine. What are you doing here? 115 00:06:24,569 --> 00:06:26,161 Jerk-off. 116 00:06:28,569 --> 00:06:32,198 There's nothing wrong with him. I saw the doctor. He's fine. 117 00:06:34,809 --> 00:06:36,845 Hi, George. 118 00:06:37,009 --> 00:06:39,125 How you feeling? 119 00:06:39,609 --> 00:06:42,442 Is anybody getting your apartment? 120 00:06:44,809 --> 00:06:47,118 I'll tell you, if I ever get out of here... 121 00:06:47,289 --> 00:06:49,439 ...I'm gonna change my life. 122 00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:52,407 I'm gonna do a whole Zen thing. 123 00:06:53,729 --> 00:06:55,287 Take up yoga. 124 00:06:55,569 --> 00:06:58,037 Meditate. I'll eat right. 125 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,879 Calm down, you know? 126 00:07:01,049 --> 00:07:03,119 Lose my anger. 127 00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,604 Hey, is anybody listening?! 128 00:07:13,049 --> 00:07:14,323 Hello. 129 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,602 Mr. Costanza. 130 00:07:17,769 --> 00:07:18,963 Excuse me. 131 00:07:19,129 --> 00:07:22,280 Yeah, you know, doc, I gotta tell you, I feel a lot better. 132 00:07:22,649 --> 00:07:26,642 Well, we looked at your EKGs, ran some tests, did a complete workup. 133 00:07:26,809 --> 00:07:28,242 Oh, God. Mommy. 134 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,525 Well, you simply haven't had a heart attack. 135 00:07:34,369 --> 00:07:35,882 I haven't? 136 00:07:36,049 --> 00:07:37,368 I'm okay? 137 00:07:37,529 --> 00:07:39,565 I'm okay? Oh, thank you! 138 00:07:39,729 --> 00:07:41,367 Thank you! 139 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:42,962 I don't know how to thank you! 140 00:07:43,209 --> 00:07:46,326 Hey, that was really fun, George. Can we go home now? 141 00:07:46,489 --> 00:07:49,526 No, we'd like to keep him overnight for observation, just to be safe. 142 00:07:49,689 --> 00:07:50,883 Oh, sure, sure, anything. 143 00:07:51,049 --> 00:07:53,085 Can you believe it? Nothing's wrong with me. 144 00:07:53,689 --> 00:07:55,566 Well, I wouldn't go that far. 145 00:07:56,089 --> 00:07:57,283 What? 146 00:07:57,449 --> 00:07:58,677 Oh, my God. What? 147 00:07:58,849 --> 00:08:00,077 Is it meningitis? 148 00:08:00,249 --> 00:08:01,398 Scoliosis? 149 00:08:01,569 --> 00:08:03,321 Lupus? Is it lupus?! 150 00:08:03,769 --> 00:08:06,078 Have you ever had your tonsils taken out? 151 00:08:06,489 --> 00:08:08,047 My tonsils? 152 00:08:08,209 --> 00:08:09,528 Yeah, when I was a kid. 153 00:08:10,049 --> 00:08:11,926 Well, they've grown back. 154 00:08:12,089 --> 00:08:13,681 And your adenoids are swollen too. 155 00:08:14,049 --> 00:08:15,607 - Really? - Yeah. 156 00:08:15,769 --> 00:08:19,762 - Oh, whose tonsils grow back? - It happens. 157 00:08:19,929 --> 00:08:22,363 Yeah, if you've been exposed to gamma rays. 158 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,682 I still have my tonsils. 159 00:08:24,849 --> 00:08:26,328 Everyone in my family has theirs. 160 00:08:26,489 --> 00:08:29,640 In fact, we were forbidden to socialize with anybody... 161 00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,561 ...who didn't have their tonsils. 162 00:08:31,729 --> 00:08:35,119 That's interesting, because no one in my family has their tonsils. 163 00:08:35,289 --> 00:08:38,167 And we were forbidden to socialize with tonsil people. 164 00:08:41,329 --> 00:08:44,639 Well, it's like the Capulets and the Montagues. 165 00:08:47,609 --> 00:08:49,042 Excuse me. 166 00:08:49,809 --> 00:08:52,118 Anyway, I strongly recommend they come out. 167 00:08:52,809 --> 00:08:54,527 What? You mean, with a knife? 168 00:08:55,089 --> 00:08:57,478 Yes, with a knife. You know, snip, snip. 169 00:08:58,969 --> 00:09:01,608 Anyway, you'd be completely under. You wouldn't feel a thing. 170 00:09:01,769 --> 00:09:03,919 And when you wake up, you can have some ice cream. 171 00:09:04,089 --> 00:09:06,478 Yeah, that's what they told me the last time. 172 00:09:06,969 --> 00:09:08,402 Think about it. 173 00:09:08,769 --> 00:09:09,997 Excuse me. 174 00:09:10,169 --> 00:09:11,887 - Sorry. - I'm sorry. 175 00:09:25,489 --> 00:09:29,562 I just have to ask that doctor one more... 176 00:09:29,729 --> 00:09:31,128 ...question. 177 00:09:36,449 --> 00:09:39,168 Women go after doctors like men go after models. 178 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:42,287 They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body. 179 00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:43,764 - Hey. - Hey. 180 00:09:43,929 --> 00:09:45,044 Boy... 181 00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:47,598 ...they got a great cafeteria downstairs. 182 00:09:47,769 --> 00:09:50,329 Hot food, sandwiches, a salad bar. 183 00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:52,878 It's like Sizzler opened up a hospital. 184 00:09:54,329 --> 00:09:55,523 Boy... 185 00:09:55,689 --> 00:09:57,407 So how did you have a heart attack? 186 00:09:57,969 --> 00:09:59,925 You're a young man. 187 00:10:00,089 --> 00:10:01,841 What were you doing? 188 00:10:02,009 --> 00:10:03,488 They gonna do a zipper job? 189 00:10:03,649 --> 00:10:06,322 - Oh, they love to do zipper jobs. - Kramer. 190 00:10:06,489 --> 00:10:09,526 You know, the really bad thing about the heart is the sex thing. 191 00:10:09,689 --> 00:10:11,520 See, you gotta be careful about sex now. 192 00:10:11,689 --> 00:10:13,202 You get that heart pumping- 193 00:10:14,089 --> 00:10:15,761 Suddenly, boom! Next thing you know... 194 00:10:15,929 --> 00:10:19,444 ...you got a hose coming out of your chest attached to a piece of luggage. 195 00:10:20,449 --> 00:10:22,724 Kramer, George didn't have a heart attack. 196 00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,766 No? That's good. 197 00:10:24,929 --> 00:10:27,079 I have to have my tonsils taken out. 198 00:10:27,609 --> 00:10:29,520 Oh, man. No. 199 00:10:29,689 --> 00:10:32,123 George, we gotta get you out of here. Get out right now. 200 00:10:32,289 --> 00:10:33,688 They'll kill you in here. 201 00:10:35,049 --> 00:10:36,402 It's routine surgery. 202 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:39,083 Oh, yeah? My friend Bob Sacamano... 203 00:10:39,249 --> 00:10:42,002 ...he came in here for a hernia operation. 204 00:10:42,169 --> 00:10:43,921 Oh, yeah, "routine surgery." 205 00:10:44,089 --> 00:10:46,125 Now he's sitting in a chair by a window going: 206 00:10:46,289 --> 00:10:47,881 "My name is Bob!" 207 00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:52,609 George, whatever you do, don't let them cut you. 208 00:10:52,769 --> 00:10:54,487 Don't let them cut you. 209 00:10:54,649 --> 00:10:56,082 Well, what should I do, Kramer? 210 00:10:56,249 --> 00:10:58,968 - For one thing, don't listen to him. - I'll tell you what you do. 211 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,684 I'll tell you what you do. You go to Tor Ackman. 212 00:11:01,849 --> 00:11:03,601 Tor. He'll fix you right up. 213 00:11:03,769 --> 00:11:05,839 He's an herbalist, a healer, George. 214 00:11:06,009 --> 00:11:08,284 He's not just gonna fix the tonsils and the adenoids. 215 00:11:08,449 --> 00:11:11,122 He is gonna change the whole way you function. 216 00:11:11,289 --> 00:11:13,007 Body and mind. 217 00:11:13,849 --> 00:11:15,885 Ackman? I thought he was doing time. 218 00:11:16,049 --> 00:11:18,324 No, no, he's out. He got out. 219 00:11:20,569 --> 00:11:22,958 See, the medical establishment- 220 00:11:23,169 --> 00:11:27,287 See, they tried to frame him. It's all politics, but he's a rebel. 221 00:11:27,449 --> 00:11:29,167 A rebel? 222 00:11:29,329 --> 00:11:31,399 No, Johnny Yuma was a rebel. 223 00:11:31,569 --> 00:11:33,685 Ackman is a nut. 224 00:11:33,849 --> 00:11:37,364 You wanna take care of your tonsils, do it in a hospital with a doctor. 225 00:11:37,529 --> 00:11:38,803 He's holistic. 226 00:11:38,969 --> 00:11:41,039 George, he's holistic. 227 00:11:41,729 --> 00:11:43,560 - Holistic? - Yeah. 228 00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:45,846 That sounds right. 229 00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,204 George, you need a medical doctor. 230 00:11:48,369 --> 00:11:50,166 Let me ask you something. 231 00:11:50,329 --> 00:11:53,162 How much do you think it would cost to have tonsils and adenoids... 232 00:11:53,329 --> 00:11:55,001 ...removed in a hospital? 233 00:11:55,169 --> 00:11:58,127 Well, an overnight stay in a hospital, minor surgery, I don't know... 234 00:11:58,289 --> 00:11:59,722 ...four grand? 235 00:12:00,729 --> 00:12:04,688 - How much does the healer charge? - First visit? 38 bucks. 236 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,361 Oh, yeah. Holistic. 237 00:12:08,529 --> 00:12:10,485 That's what I need. That's the answer. 238 00:12:16,089 --> 00:12:17,841 You like the way I talked you into coming? 239 00:12:18,009 --> 00:12:19,442 Don't flatter yourself, my friend. 240 00:12:19,609 --> 00:12:21,918 I'm here strictly for material. And I have a feeling... 241 00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:25,525 ...this is a potential gold mine. I still think you're nuts, though. 242 00:12:26,769 --> 00:12:30,045 All I know is, I've been going to doctors all my life. What's it gotten me? 243 00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:32,439 I'm 33, I haven't outgrown the problems of puberty... 244 00:12:32,609 --> 00:12:34,520 ...I'm already facing the problems of old age. 245 00:12:34,689 --> 00:12:37,442 I completely skipped healthy adulthood. 246 00:12:37,609 --> 00:12:40,965 I went from having orgasms immediately to taking forever. 247 00:12:41,129 --> 00:12:44,519 You can do your taxes in the time it takes me to have an orgasm. 248 00:12:44,689 --> 00:12:46,645 I never had a normal... 249 00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,083 ...medium orgasm. 250 00:12:50,289 --> 00:12:52,564 I never had a really good pickle. 251 00:12:56,049 --> 00:12:58,802 Besides, what's it gonna cost me, 38 bucks? 252 00:13:09,649 --> 00:13:11,640 Would you not put your foot on that, please? 253 00:13:11,809 --> 00:13:13,208 Sorry. 254 00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:22,364 - What month were you born? - April. 255 00:13:22,529 --> 00:13:25,043 You should have been born in August. 256 00:13:25,849 --> 00:13:28,727 Your parents would have been well-advised to wait. 257 00:13:30,329 --> 00:13:31,728 Really? 258 00:13:34,609 --> 00:13:36,565 Do you use hot water in the shower? 259 00:13:37,529 --> 00:13:40,407 - Yes. - Stop using it. 260 00:13:41,929 --> 00:13:43,885 - Okay. - I'm off hot water. 261 00:13:45,049 --> 00:13:49,167 Kramer tells me that you are interested in an alternative to surgery. 262 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,808 Yes. Yes, I am. 263 00:13:58,009 --> 00:13:59,761 I think we can help you. 264 00:14:00,369 --> 00:14:02,963 See, unfortunately, the medical establishment... 265 00:14:03,129 --> 00:14:05,404 ...is a business like any other business. 266 00:14:05,569 --> 00:14:07,764 And business needs customers. 267 00:14:07,929 --> 00:14:10,045 They want to sell you their most expensive item... 268 00:14:10,209 --> 00:14:12,086 ...which is unnecessary surgery. 269 00:14:14,809 --> 00:14:16,765 Can I use hot water on my face? 270 00:14:16,929 --> 00:14:18,681 No. You know... 271 00:14:18,849 --> 00:14:21,363 ...I am not a businessman. 272 00:14:21,529 --> 00:14:24,919 I am a holistic healer. It's a calling. It's a gift. 273 00:14:25,089 --> 00:14:27,762 You see, it's in the best interest of the medical profession... 274 00:14:27,929 --> 00:14:31,763 ...that you remain sick. See, that insures good business. 275 00:14:31,929 --> 00:14:34,159 You're not a patient, you're a customer. 276 00:14:34,329 --> 00:14:37,366 And you're not a doctor, but you play one in reallife. 277 00:14:39,969 --> 00:14:41,197 What about shaving? 278 00:14:41,369 --> 00:14:43,963 You're eating too much dairy. 279 00:14:45,249 --> 00:14:46,602 May I? 280 00:14:47,089 --> 00:14:48,727 I guess so. 281 00:14:58,489 --> 00:14:59,763 You see? 282 00:15:02,129 --> 00:15:04,245 You are in disharmony. 283 00:15:04,409 --> 00:15:06,479 The throat is the gateway to the lung. 284 00:15:06,649 --> 00:15:09,721 Tonsillitis, adenoiditis is, in Chinese medical terms... 285 00:15:09,889 --> 00:15:11,641 ...an invasion of heat and wind. 286 00:15:11,809 --> 00:15:14,448 There's some hot air blowing in here. 287 00:15:16,009 --> 00:15:17,203 You know... 288 00:15:17,369 --> 00:15:20,247 ...I lived with the Eskimos many years ago... 289 00:15:20,409 --> 00:15:23,321 ...and they used to plunge their faces into the snow. 290 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:28,079 Can it be lukewarm? 291 00:15:29,009 --> 00:15:32,888 Too much dairy? You really think I'm eating too much dairy. 292 00:15:34,969 --> 00:15:36,118 The tongue. 293 00:15:36,289 --> 00:15:37,722 Yes, the tongue. 294 00:15:37,889 --> 00:15:40,562 Or, in medical terms, the glossa. 295 00:15:40,729 --> 00:15:42,082 It's a muscular organ. 296 00:15:42,249 --> 00:15:43,602 Consists of two parts: 297 00:15:43,769 --> 00:15:46,488 The body and the root. 298 00:15:47,409 --> 00:15:49,445 You see, it's covered by this mucous membrane. 299 00:15:49,609 --> 00:15:52,567 These raised little projections here are the papillae. 300 00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:55,000 It's what gives it its furred appearance. 301 00:15:55,169 --> 00:15:56,397 Very tactile. 302 00:16:01,769 --> 00:16:03,600 Your tea is ready now. 303 00:16:03,769 --> 00:16:06,647 This will solve your so-called tonsil problem. 304 00:16:06,889 --> 00:16:08,402 It's a special concoction. 305 00:16:08,569 --> 00:16:11,129 - It contains cramp bark. - I love cramp bark. 306 00:16:11,689 --> 00:16:12,883 Cleavers. 307 00:16:13,049 --> 00:16:16,564 Cleaver? I once had cleaver as a kid. I was able to lift a car. 308 00:16:16,969 --> 00:16:18,322 And some couch grass. 309 00:16:18,489 --> 00:16:20,559 Couch grass and cramp bark? 310 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,321 I think that's what killed Curly. 311 00:16:24,929 --> 00:16:26,328 Go ahead, drink it, George. 312 00:16:28,809 --> 00:16:30,720 Excuse me. Tor? 313 00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:33,164 May I ask you a question? 314 00:16:33,329 --> 00:16:35,604 You have intuitive abilities. 315 00:16:35,769 --> 00:16:39,125 You're in touch with a lot of cosmic kind of things. 316 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:42,964 I have this note I can't read. I was wondering if... 317 00:16:45,849 --> 00:16:47,441 Yes! 318 00:16:48,729 --> 00:16:51,766 "Cleveland, 117. San Antonio, 109." 319 00:16:57,849 --> 00:16:59,123 Go ahead, George, drink it. 320 00:17:07,449 --> 00:17:09,121 It's not too bad. 321 00:17:11,529 --> 00:17:13,087 I'm an eggplant! 322 00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,763 I'm an eggplant! I'm a vegetable! 323 00:17:15,929 --> 00:17:17,123 I didn't take your Chuckle! 324 00:17:17,289 --> 00:17:20,565 I had five Chuckles. I ate the green and the yellow. The red is missing. 325 00:17:20,729 --> 00:17:23,448 - I don't even like Chuckles! - Maybe he doesn't like them. 326 00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,169 My face! My face! Get me to the hospital! 327 00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:27,728 I want that Chuckle, you hear? 328 00:17:27,889 --> 00:17:29,561 You want me to get you a Chuckle? 329 00:17:29,729 --> 00:17:31,128 - Pull over. - Pull over? 330 00:17:31,289 --> 00:17:33,200 - "Pull over"? You want a piece of me? - Yeah! 331 00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:35,439 - What, you're gonna fight? - No! I'm a mutant! 332 00:17:36,809 --> 00:17:39,323 - Let me drive. - Come on, man, pull over! 333 00:17:39,489 --> 00:17:41,366 All right. I'm gonna mess you up, man! 334 00:17:41,529 --> 00:17:42,803 Really, gentlemen, please. 335 00:17:42,969 --> 00:17:44,402 My heart! 336 00:17:44,569 --> 00:17:46,127 Where are you going?! Are you crazy?! 337 00:17:46,289 --> 00:17:48,405 - I'm gonna kick his ass! - Hey, do you have keys? 338 00:17:48,569 --> 00:17:50,799 You can't leave! This is an ambulance! 339 00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:53,608 - This is an emergency! - I don't like Chuckles, man. 340 00:17:53,769 --> 00:17:56,841 If I hear you one more time, I'm gonna kill you! 341 00:17:57,009 --> 00:18:00,001 - All this over a Chuckle. - What's a Chuckle? 342 00:18:00,169 --> 00:18:03,366 It's a jelly candy. Comes in five flavours. 343 00:18:07,089 --> 00:18:10,161 You see, taste buds run on grooves along surfaces. 344 00:18:10,329 --> 00:18:11,967 - Can you let go of my tongue now? - What? 345 00:18:12,129 --> 00:18:15,883 - Let go of my tongue. - Oh, sorry. 346 00:18:16,049 --> 00:18:17,960 Well, I should get going. 347 00:18:19,929 --> 00:18:22,648 - What are you doing? - I was gonna kiss you good night. 348 00:18:23,089 --> 00:18:24,238 A kiss? 349 00:18:24,409 --> 00:18:29,005 With the tongue? The glossa with the bumps and the papillae? 350 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,281 I don't think so. 351 00:18:34,529 --> 00:18:37,601 - You can't just leave him there. - I told him I was gonna mess him up. 352 00:18:37,769 --> 00:18:40,727 - Can you call him an ambulance? - I told him I didn't take his Chuckle! 353 00:18:40,889 --> 00:18:43,403 - I don't eat that gooey crap! - Hey, watch the road. 354 00:18:43,569 --> 00:18:46,037 - Watch the road, man. - Hey, you want some of what he got? 355 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,325 - Hey, watch out! - Watch out! 356 00:19:01,569 --> 00:19:03,287 How you doing? 357 00:19:04,089 --> 00:19:05,647 Can't talk? 358 00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,121 Hey, how'd you get the plastic one? 359 00:19:11,289 --> 00:19:13,041 I like that. 360 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,201 So how's life without tonsils? 361 00:19:19,889 --> 00:19:21,561 What? What's that? 362 00:19:22,209 --> 00:19:24,723 So how much is this thing gonna cost you, like 5000, 6000? 363 00:19:28,809 --> 00:19:31,846 Well, live and learn. At least we lived. 364 00:19:34,569 --> 00:19:36,799 Kramer went to Ackman. He feels all better already. 365 00:19:39,969 --> 00:19:41,880 What? What are you doing? 366 00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:46,846 Oh, poor George. 367 00:19:47,009 --> 00:19:51,685 I'm sorry, I can't stay long. I don't want to run into Dr. Tongue. 368 00:19:52,329 --> 00:19:55,924 Here, I brought you something. 369 00:19:56,289 --> 00:19:57,802 See? 370 00:19:59,529 --> 00:20:02,043 - Oh, please, come on. It's nothing. - Hey, turn up the TV. 371 00:20:02,209 --> 00:20:03,767 The planet's on fire! 372 00:20:03,929 --> 00:20:05,999 It is just as you prophesised. 373 00:20:06,169 --> 00:20:09,366 The planets of our solar system incinerating... 374 00:20:09,729 --> 00:20:15,406 ...lik e flaming globes, Zigmond, lik e flaming globes! 375 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,086 That's it! That's it! "Flaming globes of Zigmond"! 376 00:20:20,249 --> 00:20:24,401 That's my note. That's what I thought was so funny. 377 00:20:24,569 --> 00:20:26,685 It's not funny. 378 00:20:27,649 --> 00:20:29,162 There's nothing funny about that. 379 00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:31,320 Shut up! 380 00:20:34,809 --> 00:20:38,279 I have a friend who's a hypochondriac. Always thinks he's sick, never is. 381 00:20:38,449 --> 00:20:40,087 Then you have another type of person... 382 00:20:40,249 --> 00:20:42,683 ...always thinks they're well, no matter how bad they are. 383 00:20:42,849 --> 00:20:46,000 You know this type of person? Very annoying."Feel great. 384 00:20:46,169 --> 00:20:48,683 I like being on a respirator. 385 00:20:48,849 --> 00:20:52,444 Intravenous, heart-lung machine. I never felt better in my life." 386 00:20:53,129 --> 00:20:58,487 Medical science is making advances every day to control health problems. 387 00:20:58,649 --> 00:21:00,640 In fact, it's probably only a matter of time... 388 00:21:00,809 --> 00:21:03,642 ...before a heart attack becomes like a headache. 389 00:21:04,249 --> 00:21:06,001 We'll just see people on TV going: 390 00:21:06,169 --> 00:21:08,842 "I had a heart attack this big... 391 00:21:09,689 --> 00:21:12,726 ...but I gave myself one of these: Clear! 392 00:21:13,369 --> 00:21:15,166 And it's gone." 393 00:22:02,209 --> 00:22:04,200 Subtitles by SDI Media Group