1 00:00:02,049 --> 00:00:03,198 Men... 2 00:00:04,369 --> 00:00:07,406 ...flip around the television more than women, I think. 3 00:00:08,929 --> 00:00:10,601 Men get that remote control in their hands... 4 00:00:10,769 --> 00:00:12,725 They don't even know what they're not watching. 5 00:00:12,889 --> 00:00:15,244 "Rerun, don't wanna watch it." "What are you watching?" 6 00:00:15,409 --> 00:00:17,161 "Don't care.""Who was that?" "Don't know." 7 00:00:17,329 --> 00:00:20,048 "Isn't that your father?" "Doesn't matter, I gotta keep going." 8 00:00:21,329 --> 00:00:23,559 Women don't do that. See, now, women... 9 00:00:23,729 --> 00:00:26,926 ...will stop and go,"Well, let me see what the show is... 10 00:00:27,089 --> 00:00:29,159 ...before I change the channel." 11 00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:31,524 You see, but men just fly. Because women... 12 00:00:31,689 --> 00:00:34,999 You see, women nest, and men hunt. 13 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,319 That's why we watch TV differently. 14 00:00:39,249 --> 00:00:43,208 Before there was flipping around, before there was television... 15 00:00:43,369 --> 00:00:45,405 ...kings and emperors and pharaohs and such... 16 00:00:45,569 --> 00:00:47,844 ...had storytellers that would tell them stories. 17 00:00:48,009 --> 00:00:49,237 That was their entertainment. 18 00:00:49,409 --> 00:00:53,084 I always wonder in that era if they would get 30 storytellers together... 19 00:00:53,249 --> 00:00:55,080 ...so they could still flip around. Just go: 20 00:00:55,249 --> 00:00:57,524 "Tell me your story. I don't wanna hear anymore. 21 00:00:57,689 --> 00:00:59,600 Shut up. Next guy. What are you talking about? 22 00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:01,566 Is there a girl in that story? No? Shut up. 23 00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:03,606 What have you got? I don't wanna hear that. 24 00:01:03,769 --> 00:01:05,805 What are you talking about? Don't wanna hear it. 25 00:01:05,969 --> 00:01:08,437 Now, the whole of you, get out of here. I'm going to bed." 26 00:01:13,969 --> 00:01:15,448 She's pregnant? 27 00:01:16,049 --> 00:01:19,598 Leslie is pregnant? Oh, see, there is no justice. 28 00:01:19,769 --> 00:01:21,327 She's the performance artist, right? 29 00:01:21,489 --> 00:01:24,447 Yeah, performance artist. She's a performer, a real trouper. 30 00:01:24,729 --> 00:01:27,243 What's her husband's name again? Chip? 31 00:01:27,409 --> 00:01:28,637 Kip? 32 00:01:28,849 --> 00:01:30,077 Skip? 33 00:01:30,689 --> 00:01:32,645 - Todd. - Todd. 34 00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:34,800 Oh, yeah. 35 00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:36,721 - He's a Kennedy. - No, he's not. 36 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:40,165 - Come on, he's a third cousin. - By marriage. 37 00:01:40,569 --> 00:01:42,924 Oh, by marriage, yeah. We went to the wedding. 38 00:01:43,089 --> 00:01:45,000 Should've heard them talk about Chappaquiddick. 39 00:01:45,169 --> 00:01:47,729 Tried to blame the whole thing on bad directions. 40 00:01:47,889 --> 00:01:50,449 That woman was unequivocally the worst date of my life. 41 00:01:51,169 --> 00:01:55,367 Pardon me for setting you up with a beautiful, intelligent woman. 42 00:01:55,529 --> 00:01:58,441 What, you don't think I can attract beautiful, intelligent women? 43 00:01:58,609 --> 00:02:02,284 Thin ice, George, very thin ice. 44 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,601 Maybe for her new performance piece, she'll give birth on-stage. 45 00:02:06,449 --> 00:02:07,962 She stopped performing. 46 00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:10,927 What a huge blow to the culture. 47 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:14,286 You believe this guy? He holds a grudge like Khomeini. 48 00:02:14,449 --> 00:02:16,121 She dragged me down to that warehouse... 49 00:02:16,289 --> 00:02:19,361 ...on the waterfront in Brooklyn to see one of her performances. 50 00:02:19,729 --> 00:02:22,880 Oh, and she's on-stage cooking dinner for some celebrity? 51 00:02:23,369 --> 00:02:24,643 God. 52 00:02:24,809 --> 00:02:26,959 She's cooking dinner for God. 53 00:02:27,129 --> 00:02:29,006 She's yelling, and the next thing I know... 54 00:02:29,169 --> 00:02:32,525 ...she throws a big can of chocolate syrup all over my new red shirt. 55 00:02:32,689 --> 00:02:34,919 - It was an accident. - Oh, yeah, accident, right. 56 00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:37,649 She was aiming at me, like she was putting out a fire. 57 00:02:38,129 --> 00:02:41,201 So for the rest of the show I'm sitting there with chocolate all over me. 58 00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:43,837 Flies are landing on me. 59 00:02:44,009 --> 00:02:47,081 I'm boiling, I'm fantasizing all the things I'm gonna say to her. 60 00:02:47,249 --> 00:02:49,319 Later, finally, backstage, when I talk to her... 61 00:02:49,489 --> 00:02:51,445 ...I'm like a little grovelling worm: 62 00:02:51,609 --> 00:02:53,725 "What kind of chocolate was that?" 63 00:02:53,889 --> 00:02:56,039 "Do you throw any other foods?" You know... 64 00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:57,528 He thought he still had a shot. 65 00:02:58,449 --> 00:03:01,043 Then, then, then... 66 00:03:01,209 --> 00:03:03,040 ...she leaves with somebody else. 67 00:03:04,049 --> 00:03:05,801 Never even- Never even said goodbye. 68 00:03:05,969 --> 00:03:08,278 Never called me back. Never apologized. Nothing. 69 00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:10,201 Like I was dirt. 70 00:03:11,249 --> 00:03:13,285 What ever happened with the shirt? 71 00:03:14,329 --> 00:03:15,557 I still have it. 72 00:03:15,769 --> 00:03:18,647 The collar's okay. I wear it under sweaters. 73 00:03:19,569 --> 00:03:20,888 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 74 00:03:21,049 --> 00:03:23,085 She asked me to give her a baby shower. 75 00:03:23,249 --> 00:03:25,763 Asked you? You're not gonna do that, are you? 76 00:03:26,129 --> 00:03:29,326 Anyone else, never. But Leslie... 77 00:03:29,489 --> 00:03:31,081 I have a problem saying no to her. 78 00:03:31,249 --> 00:03:33,319 For some reason, I seem to want her approval. 79 00:03:33,489 --> 00:03:36,447 Let Maria Shriver give her a baby shower. 80 00:03:36,609 --> 00:03:39,077 Ask not what I can do for you, ask what you can do for me. 81 00:03:39,249 --> 00:03:40,398 Ich bin ein sucker. 82 00:03:41,969 --> 00:03:43,880 Would you two stop with the Kennedys? 83 00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:46,802 Why does everyone make such a big deal about the Kennedys? 84 00:03:46,969 --> 00:03:51,201 I mean, what is this fascination? Who cares? It's all so boring. 85 00:03:51,369 --> 00:03:53,246 Look, she doesn't deserve a baby shower. 86 00:03:53,409 --> 00:03:56,845 She deserves a baby monsoon. She deserves Rosemary's baby. 87 00:03:59,409 --> 00:04:02,242 I do have one teeny little problem, though. 88 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:05,048 Never said goodbye. Never apologized. Nothing. 89 00:04:07,369 --> 00:04:11,760 See, I was gonna give the shower in my apartment... 90 00:04:11,929 --> 00:04:14,841 - But? - My roommate has Lyme disease. 91 00:04:15,009 --> 00:04:17,728 Lyme disease? I thought she had Epstein-Barr syndrome. 92 00:04:17,889 --> 00:04:20,449 She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr. 93 00:04:20,609 --> 00:04:23,999 It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease. 94 00:04:24,169 --> 00:04:27,366 - How'd she get Lyme disease? - I don't know. 95 00:04:27,529 --> 00:04:30,805 She did some outdoor version of Hair in Danbury, Connecticut. 96 00:04:30,969 --> 00:04:33,278 - They still do that play? - It's a classic. 97 00:04:33,609 --> 00:04:35,406 - With the nudity? - I guess. 98 00:04:36,049 --> 00:04:39,246 She must've rolled over on a tick during the love-in. 99 00:04:41,809 --> 00:04:44,721 Never said goodbye. Goodbye. 100 00:04:45,449 --> 00:04:47,679 Explain to me how this baby shower thing works. 101 00:04:48,209 --> 00:04:49,483 What do you want to know? 102 00:04:49,649 --> 00:04:53,164 Well, I mean does it ever erupt into a drunken orgy of violence? 103 00:04:54,649 --> 00:04:56,207 Rarely. 104 00:04:56,369 --> 00:04:59,884 There's no hazing of the foetus or anything, is there? 105 00:05:01,329 --> 00:05:02,842 No. 106 00:05:03,009 --> 00:05:04,965 - When is this supposed to be? - Saturday. 107 00:05:05,129 --> 00:05:08,883 Saturday. Well, I have a show in Buffalo on Saturday. 108 00:05:09,049 --> 00:05:11,085 They're not gonna bust up my apartment, are they? 109 00:05:11,249 --> 00:05:13,001 No, I'll take full responsibility. 110 00:05:13,169 --> 00:05:14,682 Because I've seen pregnant women... 111 00:05:14,849 --> 00:05:17,204 ...and they sometimes misjudge their foetal girth. 112 00:05:17,369 --> 00:05:18,563 And they'll... 113 00:05:18,729 --> 00:05:22,324 Just, like, one wrong turn, the whole buffet is, like, right off the table. 114 00:05:22,929 --> 00:05:25,489 Someday, before I die, mark my words... 115 00:05:25,649 --> 00:05:27,844 ...I'm gonna tell that woman what I think of her. 116 00:05:28,009 --> 00:05:30,728 I'll never be able to forgive myself until I do. 117 00:05:30,889 --> 00:05:32,925 - And if you do? - I still won't forgive myself... 118 00:05:33,089 --> 00:05:35,398 ...but at least it won't be about this. 119 00:05:44,049 --> 00:05:46,324 What are you doing this for? Look at you. 120 00:05:46,489 --> 00:05:49,162 - Quiet. I'm trying to get a picture. - But you don't have to. 121 00:05:49,329 --> 00:05:52,002 - The guy is waiting in my house. - Leave me alone. 122 00:05:52,169 --> 00:05:54,478 It's a one-time fee, 150 bucks. 123 00:05:54,649 --> 00:05:58,085 - Why live like this? - I'm not getting illegal cable. 124 00:05:58,689 --> 00:06:02,443 So you're gonna wait for the cable companies to resolve their dispute? 125 00:06:02,769 --> 00:06:04,043 They'll be in court for years. 126 00:06:04,209 --> 00:06:05,961 - I read in the paper- - Oh, the paper... 127 00:06:06,129 --> 00:06:09,360 - They might hook us up again. - Oh, God. You're so naive. 128 00:06:09,529 --> 00:06:13,158 All the cable companies care about is the big"mamoo." 129 00:06:14,889 --> 00:06:18,279 Look at you. You're banging things. You're just pathetic. 130 00:06:18,529 --> 00:06:20,679 Just wasting your life. 131 00:06:20,849 --> 00:06:23,409 I'm offering you 56 channels. 132 00:06:23,569 --> 00:06:28,563 Movies, sports, nudity, and it's free for life! 133 00:06:28,849 --> 00:06:30,760 Stop shouting. You're ruining the reception. 134 00:06:30,929 --> 00:06:32,726 Can you hear yourself? Can-? 135 00:06:32,889 --> 00:06:35,119 Do you know what you're saying? 136 00:06:35,289 --> 00:06:38,565 - What you're suggesting is illegal. - It's not illegal. 137 00:06:38,729 --> 00:06:41,562 - It's against the law. - Well, yeah. 138 00:06:44,369 --> 00:06:46,360 Just hold this. Can you hold that? 139 00:06:46,529 --> 00:06:48,997 Look, will you at least let me bring the guy over? 140 00:06:49,169 --> 00:06:51,444 He's an amazing man. He's a Russian immigrant. 141 00:06:51,609 --> 00:06:53,201 He escaped from the Gulag. 142 00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:56,327 He's like the Sakharov of cable guys. 143 00:06:56,689 --> 00:06:59,806 He'll slow down your gas meter. He sells slugs, Jerry. 144 00:06:59,969 --> 00:07:02,722 Slugs for the subway. 145 00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:05,528 - He's a real human-rights nut, huh? - Yeah. 146 00:07:05,889 --> 00:07:07,208 He's intense, man. 147 00:07:07,729 --> 00:07:09,082 I don't know. 148 00:07:09,249 --> 00:07:11,558 - What if I get caught? - You're not gonna get caught. 149 00:07:11,729 --> 00:07:15,927 Let me get him in. It's the '90s. It's Hammer Time. Come on. 150 00:07:16,089 --> 00:07:17,886 Just let me get him. 151 00:07:18,049 --> 00:07:20,358 Jerry, Jerry, this is the cable man. 152 00:07:23,849 --> 00:07:25,646 You know, why don't we wait... 153 00:07:25,809 --> 00:07:27,720 ...because I'm going out of town tomorrow... 154 00:07:27,889 --> 00:07:29,720 Tomorrow okay. 155 00:07:29,969 --> 00:07:32,199 No problem. You'll have the whole thing installed... 156 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,518 ...by the time you get back. 157 00:07:33,689 --> 00:07:36,920 No, every time I turn on a TV, sirens are gonna go off. 158 00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:39,444 They're gonna track me down like a dog, I know it. 159 00:07:39,609 --> 00:07:42,601 Look, now, Jerry, it's no risk. I swear. 160 00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:46,763 The Mets have 75 games on cable this year. 161 00:07:51,049 --> 00:07:52,243 Put it in. 162 00:07:52,449 --> 00:07:53,643 You won't regret it. 163 00:07:53,809 --> 00:07:58,280 Yeah, Jerry's gonna be a cab/e boy A cab/e boy, a cab/e boy 164 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:05,809 - Mr. Steinfeld? - Seinfeld. 165 00:08:06,129 --> 00:08:08,962 We're with the FBl. You wanna tell us about your cable hookup? 166 00:08:09,969 --> 00:08:11,561 My cable hookup? What about it? 167 00:08:11,729 --> 00:08:13,481 It's been illegally installed. 168 00:08:13,889 --> 00:08:16,323 It has? I've been out of town. How did you know? 169 00:08:17,089 --> 00:08:21,640 Jerry, I had to tell them. I had to. I had no choice. 170 00:08:22,089 --> 00:08:24,842 They were onto the scam from the very beginning. 171 00:08:25,009 --> 00:08:27,045 You're in very serious trouble, Mr. Steinfeld. 172 00:08:27,209 --> 00:08:29,928 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold on. We're just patsies. 173 00:08:30,089 --> 00:08:32,364 We're just a couple of users. We never sold the stuff. 174 00:08:32,529 --> 00:08:35,248 What about the Russian guy? The Russian guy's the guy you want. 175 00:08:35,409 --> 00:08:39,038 Mr. Seinfeld? Agent Stone, FBl undercover. 176 00:08:43,169 --> 00:08:44,966 No, Jerry! 177 00:09:01,169 --> 00:09:02,921 No! 178 00:09:07,209 --> 00:09:08,881 Cable boy? 179 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,926 Cable boy? 180 00:09:13,209 --> 00:09:16,360 What have you done to my little cable boy? 181 00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:24,726 Excuse me, could I get something to drink? 182 00:09:24,889 --> 00:09:26,607 I'm afraid not. 183 00:09:28,249 --> 00:09:30,604 What's with this airline? You're cutting out the drinks? 184 00:09:31,209 --> 00:09:34,406 No, sir, we're flying into a blizzard. Please fasten your seat belt. 185 00:09:34,569 --> 00:09:36,207 We're making an emergency landing. 186 00:09:38,889 --> 00:09:41,357 Are they gonna go over the instructions again? 187 00:09:42,729 --> 00:09:44,924 My name is Bill. 188 00:09:45,089 --> 00:09:48,684 I might be the last person you ever see. 189 00:09:55,249 --> 00:09:58,127 I'm not afraid of flying, although many people do have fear of flying. 190 00:09:58,449 --> 00:10:01,486 And I have no argument with that. I think fear of flying... 191 00:10:01,649 --> 00:10:05,005 ...is quite rational, because human beings cannot fly. 192 00:10:05,809 --> 00:10:10,280 Humans have fear of flying, same way fish have fear of driving. 193 00:10:11,409 --> 00:10:15,641 You put a fish behind the wheel, and they go,"This isn't right. 194 00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:18,885 I shouldn't be doing this. 195 00:10:19,529 --> 00:10:21,565 I don't belong here." 196 00:10:24,369 --> 00:10:25,961 - Sounds like a rough trip. - Well... 197 00:10:26,129 --> 00:10:28,848 ...there were fire engines and ambulances all on the runway. 198 00:10:29,009 --> 00:10:32,524 And then when we landed safely, they all seemed so disappointed. 199 00:10:33,009 --> 00:10:34,442 So the college cancelled the gig? 200 00:10:34,609 --> 00:10:36,565 There was so much snow, the roads were closed. 201 00:10:36,729 --> 00:10:38,959 I really appreciate you picking me up. Thanks again. 202 00:10:39,169 --> 00:10:41,888 - Forget it. - No, really, an airport run. 203 00:10:42,049 --> 00:10:43,482 It's nothing. 204 00:10:43,649 --> 00:10:46,322 It's one thing if I asked you, "Could you do me a favour?" 205 00:10:46,489 --> 00:10:47,683 But to suggest it... 206 00:10:48,209 --> 00:10:50,598 When you told me what you went through on the plane... 207 00:10:50,769 --> 00:10:52,521 ...it makes you stop and think. 208 00:10:52,849 --> 00:10:55,044 I appreciate having a real friend. 209 00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:57,165 If Richie Brandis did this, I'd be suspicious. 210 00:10:57,329 --> 00:10:59,763 You know how he's always got some ulterior motive? 211 00:11:00,609 --> 00:11:02,600 Ulterior motive... 212 00:11:03,569 --> 00:11:05,764 Wait a minute. Don't take the bridge. Get off here. 213 00:11:05,929 --> 00:11:08,443 We can't go back to my place. Elaine's having the shower. 214 00:11:08,609 --> 00:11:12,318 - What, tonight? Now? - Yeah. Yeah, I forgot all about it. 215 00:11:12,489 --> 00:11:14,286 No big deal. We'll go back to your place. 216 00:11:14,449 --> 00:11:18,078 My place? No, no. I hate my place. I don't wanna go back to my place. 217 00:11:18,249 --> 00:11:19,728 Well, you wanna get a bite? 218 00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:23,120 Well, yeah, I would. It's just that I just ate a whole pot roast. 219 00:11:25,489 --> 00:11:27,400 Well, so, what should we do? 220 00:11:28,449 --> 00:11:31,202 You know, shouldn't we at least drop off your bag? 221 00:11:32,889 --> 00:11:36,598 Red shirt! Red shirt! That's the red shirt! 222 00:11:36,769 --> 00:11:39,602 - What are you talking about? - You're wearing the chocolate shirt! 223 00:11:39,769 --> 00:11:41,805 I am. What a strange coincidence. 224 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:47,240 Nice try, my friend, but you gotta get up pretty early in the morning. 225 00:11:47,409 --> 00:11:48,683 You gotta let me go over there. 226 00:11:48,849 --> 00:11:52,205 What, you're gonna badger a pregnant woman at her own baby shower? 227 00:11:52,369 --> 00:11:54,963 You're gonna take it off and make her rinse it in club soda? 228 00:11:55,129 --> 00:11:57,962 No. I'm gonna hold it under her nose so she can smell the scent... 229 00:11:58,129 --> 00:12:00,597 ...of stale Bosco that I had to live with for three years. 230 00:12:00,769 --> 00:12:03,329 Then I'm gonna say,"Remember this shirt, baby? Well, now... 231 00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:04,717 ...it's payback time!" 232 00:12:09,249 --> 00:12:11,365 We just bought an apartment on Riverside Drive. 233 00:12:11,569 --> 00:12:14,367 Bernard Goetz's mother used to live there. 234 00:12:15,529 --> 00:12:18,601 - So where's Todd? - Up in Hyannisport. 235 00:12:18,809 --> 00:12:21,881 Oh, my God, Hyannisport? With the Kennedys? 236 00:12:22,049 --> 00:12:25,166 Who else is up there? Is Rose up there? 237 00:12:25,529 --> 00:12:29,283 - So when's your due date? - March 20th, 9 a. m. 238 00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,247 - You know the time? - I'm having a planned C-section. 239 00:12:32,409 --> 00:12:36,084 My therapist told me if I go through labour, I might get psychotic. 240 00:12:36,249 --> 00:12:39,161 Leslie, Leslie, what ever happened to Sargent Shriver? 241 00:12:39,329 --> 00:12:42,048 Is he still with them? You don't hear much about him these days. 242 00:12:42,209 --> 00:12:45,007 Is he, like, out of the loop, or...? 243 00:12:45,489 --> 00:12:48,526 Elaine, who catered this, Sears? 244 00:12:54,409 --> 00:12:56,479 What is this? What are you doing here? 245 00:12:56,649 --> 00:12:58,287 - We're putting in the cable. - The cable? 246 00:12:58,449 --> 00:13:00,644 No, I'm having a party here. You can't do this now. 247 00:13:00,809 --> 00:13:03,323 Oh, we have to do this now. 248 00:13:03,489 --> 00:13:05,878 - Who is this guy? - Which one? 249 00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:09,007 - Both of them. - They're Soviet cable guys. 250 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:10,888 Okay. Does Jerry know about this? 251 00:13:11,049 --> 00:13:13,324 Oh, yeah, yeah. It's all authorized. Yeah. 252 00:13:13,489 --> 00:13:16,561 - You can't. You can't do this now! - Elaine... 253 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:19,084 Do you know how booked up this guy is? 254 00:13:19,249 --> 00:13:22,764 If I send him away now, it's gonna take Jerry months to get him back. 255 00:13:22,929 --> 00:13:24,123 He won't like that. 256 00:13:24,649 --> 00:13:27,402 All right. Just do it fast, and then get out. 257 00:13:28,089 --> 00:13:30,887 Anatole? Giddap. Go. 258 00:13:33,089 --> 00:13:34,681 It's only gonna take a few minutes. 259 00:13:34,849 --> 00:13:36,680 Then you and the gals can take a load off... 260 00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:39,124 ...and watch something on Lifetime. 261 00:13:43,249 --> 00:13:45,843 What if we go up there, what are you gonna say to her? 262 00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:48,398 - What am I gonna say? - Yeah. 263 00:13:50,249 --> 00:13:52,160 "What did you go out with me for? 264 00:13:52,329 --> 00:13:56,368 Just to dump chocolate on my shirt, and then dump me altogether? 265 00:13:56,529 --> 00:13:58,918 I don't deserve that kind of treatment. 266 00:13:59,409 --> 00:14:03,448 You don't have the common courtesy to return my calls? To apologize? 267 00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:07,807 You think I'm some sort of a loser that likes to be abused and ignored? 268 00:14:07,969 --> 00:14:11,405 Whose shirt can be ruined without financial restitution? 269 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,562 Some sort of a masochist who enjoys being humiliated? 270 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:18,563 You think you can just avoid me like I have some disease? 271 00:14:18,729 --> 00:14:20,959 You have the disease! You have the disease! 272 00:14:21,129 --> 00:14:23,848 You may be beautiful and rich and physically... 273 00:14:24,009 --> 00:14:25,806 ...just unbelievable, but you sicken me. 274 00:14:25,969 --> 00:14:29,325 You disgust me. You and everyone like you." 275 00:14:30,409 --> 00:14:33,321 - You'll never say that to her face. - Watch me. 276 00:14:33,489 --> 00:14:38,119 Yeah, I eat the whole apple. Core, stem, seeds, just everything. 277 00:14:39,969 --> 00:14:41,641 Kramer. Kramer, look at him. 278 00:14:41,809 --> 00:14:45,563 - Look. He's eating all the food. - Yeah, yeah. 279 00:14:45,729 --> 00:14:47,685 Well, you know, there are many differences... 280 00:14:47,849 --> 00:14:50,807 ...between American and Soviet cultures that you're not aware of. 281 00:14:51,569 --> 00:14:55,642 See, in Russia, the cable guy, they got the whole run of the house. 282 00:14:55,809 --> 00:14:57,800 Yeah, that's tradition. 283 00:14:58,929 --> 00:15:01,443 You ever eat the bark off of a pineapple? 284 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,605 - Kramer! Kramer! - Excuse me. 285 00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:10,397 Wow, man! 286 00:15:23,929 --> 00:15:26,363 What are you doing here? I thought you were out of town. 287 00:15:26,529 --> 00:15:28,406 The show was cancelled. There was a blizzard. 288 00:15:28,569 --> 00:15:31,720 I can't believe you told Kramer to install cable during the shower. 289 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,642 Jerry, look, look. They've eaten everything. 290 00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:36,879 Jerry, what a surprise. I thought you'd left town. 291 00:15:37,129 --> 00:15:40,519 Well, Leslie, sometimes the road less travelled... 292 00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:42,247 ...is less travelled for a reason. 293 00:15:45,169 --> 00:15:49,606 George, don't even think about it. Don't even dream about it. 294 00:15:49,769 --> 00:15:51,248 - About what? - Kramer! 295 00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:09,968 Leslie. 296 00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:12,157 Yeah? 297 00:16:12,969 --> 00:16:14,482 George. 298 00:16:17,089 --> 00:16:18,761 George Costanza. 299 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,401 Hi. 300 00:16:25,969 --> 00:16:28,324 I guess you don't remember me... 301 00:16:28,489 --> 00:16:31,925 ...but we actually went out a couple years ago... 302 00:16:32,089 --> 00:16:35,047 ...once. Remember? 303 00:16:35,249 --> 00:16:36,568 - Vaguely. - Yeah. 304 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,562 You took me to see one of your shows. 305 00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:42,441 And? 306 00:16:42,809 --> 00:16:44,800 And... 307 00:16:45,329 --> 00:16:47,206 ...it was quite good. 308 00:16:47,369 --> 00:16:51,760 In fact, you even incorporated me into the show. 309 00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:55,717 I'm not actually a performer, although my parents felt I had talent- 310 00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:57,607 Jerry? 311 00:16:57,969 --> 00:16:59,766 Remember me? 312 00:17:00,569 --> 00:17:03,879 - I'm sorry... - Mary Contardi. No? 313 00:17:04,049 --> 00:17:06,927 Doesn't ring a bell, Jerry? We had a date three years ago. 314 00:17:07,089 --> 00:17:08,807 You took me to one of your shows. 315 00:17:09,169 --> 00:17:11,558 - I think I remember. - Told me you had a great time. 316 00:17:11,729 --> 00:17:14,289 - Said you'd call me the next day. - I'm sure I meant to call. 317 00:17:14,449 --> 00:17:16,201 - I probably just lost your- - Liar! 318 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,597 Liar! 319 00:17:17,769 --> 00:17:19,282 You were never going to call me. 320 00:17:19,449 --> 00:17:22,486 You thought you could waltz through life and never bump into me again. 321 00:17:22,649 --> 00:17:25,004 But you were wrong, Jerry. You were wrong. 322 00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:28,324 What do you think? I'm some poor pathetic wretch? 323 00:17:28,489 --> 00:17:30,798 - I didn't think that. - To be dismissed and ignored. 324 00:17:30,969 --> 00:17:32,368 Some insignificant piece of dust? 325 00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:34,838 Some person who doesn't deserve respect and attention? 326 00:17:35,009 --> 00:17:37,842 Well, you're the one who doesn't deserve my respect and attention! 327 00:17:38,009 --> 00:17:40,842 You're the insignificant piece of dust! 328 00:17:49,009 --> 00:17:51,523 Actually, I never had any formal training. 329 00:17:51,689 --> 00:17:54,806 I guess I'd be better suited for improvs or something- 330 00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:57,606 Thanks a lot. 331 00:18:02,089 --> 00:18:03,568 Oh, bye. 332 00:18:03,969 --> 00:18:07,245 - Oh, I'm so sorry you have to go. - Yeah, I really have to be going. 333 00:18:07,769 --> 00:18:10,727 All right, listen. I've changed my mind. I don't want the cable. 334 00:18:11,329 --> 00:18:13,160 - Jerry, don't be a fool. - You don't want? 335 00:18:13,329 --> 00:18:16,048 No, I don't want. Tell me what I owe you for your trouble... 336 00:18:22,529 --> 00:18:23,723 Four hundred dollars. 337 00:18:28,049 --> 00:18:30,119 Four hundred dollars. 338 00:18:30,369 --> 00:18:32,200 You told me 150. 339 00:18:32,769 --> 00:18:34,725 Oh, well... 340 00:18:38,129 --> 00:18:40,199 I'm going. Obviously. 341 00:18:40,689 --> 00:18:44,238 Oh, Leslie, I am so sorry about everything that went on here tonight. 342 00:18:44,409 --> 00:18:45,603 - I had no idea- - Elaine... 343 00:18:45,769 --> 00:18:48,124 ...I was watching you tonight, and I realized something. 344 00:18:48,289 --> 00:18:49,802 You're just like you were in college. 345 00:18:50,849 --> 00:18:52,840 Thank you. 346 00:18:55,249 --> 00:18:57,479 What was I like in college? 347 00:18:58,729 --> 00:19:00,447 Come on, let's go. 348 00:19:10,329 --> 00:19:11,887 Be right back. 349 00:19:14,009 --> 00:19:18,321 I'm not paying $400. I don't even want the thing. 350 00:19:18,849 --> 00:19:20,487 What are you gonna do? 351 00:19:29,089 --> 00:19:31,683 Every woman on the face of the earth... 352 00:19:31,849 --> 00:19:34,761 ...has complete control of my life... 353 00:19:35,929 --> 00:19:38,204 ...and yet I want them all. 354 00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:40,846 Is that irony? 355 00:19:41,969 --> 00:19:44,722 Why can't I meet a Kennedy? 356 00:19:45,689 --> 00:19:49,079 I saw John Jr. once downtown. I was on a bus. 357 00:19:49,249 --> 00:19:50,807 I hit the... 358 00:19:50,969 --> 00:19:52,561 ...ding. 359 00:19:53,209 --> 00:19:55,086 It didn't stop. 360 00:19:56,089 --> 00:19:59,161 All right. I said I had a good time and I'd call... 361 00:19:59,329 --> 00:20:01,604 ...but who takes that literally? 362 00:20:02,529 --> 00:20:05,646 Hey, come on over. Doctor Zhivago's on cable in five minutes. 363 00:20:07,409 --> 00:20:09,479 I'm making popcorn! 364 00:20:11,849 --> 00:20:16,047 What do you do at the end of a date when you know... 365 00:20:16,209 --> 00:20:20,521 ...you don't want to see this person ever again for the rest of your life? 366 00:20:20,689 --> 00:20:22,964 What do you say? What do you say? 367 00:20:23,129 --> 00:20:26,565 It doesn't- No matter what you say, it's a lie. 368 00:20:27,449 --> 00:20:29,405 "I'll see you around. 369 00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,120 See you around. 370 00:20:32,849 --> 00:20:35,238 If you're around and I'm around... 371 00:20:35,849 --> 00:20:38,807 ...I'll see you around that area. 372 00:20:39,569 --> 00:20:42,925 You'll be around other people, you won't be around me... 373 00:20:43,089 --> 00:20:45,523 ...but you will be around. 374 00:20:46,649 --> 00:20:48,367 Take care now." 375 00:20:48,529 --> 00:20:51,680 You ever say that to somebody? "Take care now. 376 00:20:52,889 --> 00:20:56,279 Take care... now. 377 00:20:57,369 --> 00:21:00,008 Because I'm not gonna be taking care of you... 378 00:21:00,169 --> 00:21:03,366 ...so you should take care now." 379 00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:07,238 "Take care, take care." What does that mean?"Take care." 380 00:21:07,409 --> 00:21:10,287 "Take off."Isn't that what you really wanna say? 381 00:21:10,449 --> 00:21:12,360 "Take off now. 382 00:21:13,129 --> 00:21:14,881 Get out of here." 383 00:22:01,769 --> 00:22:03,760 Subtitles by SDI Media Group