1 00:00:04,369 --> 00:00:06,929 I have never seen an old person in a new bathing suit... 2 00:00:07,089 --> 00:00:10,047 ...in my life. I don't know where they get their bathing suits. 3 00:00:10,609 --> 00:00:13,328 But my father has bathing suits from other centuries. 4 00:00:13,489 --> 00:00:14,842 My parents live in Florida. 5 00:00:15,009 --> 00:00:17,807 And if you go down there and you forget your bathing suit... 6 00:00:17,969 --> 00:00:20,358 ...then they want you to wear one of theirs. 7 00:00:20,689 --> 00:00:22,008 You know how that gets? 8 00:00:22,169 --> 00:00:24,967 "You need trunks, son? I got trunks for you. 9 00:00:25,129 --> 00:00:26,926 You can wear my trunks." 10 00:00:27,089 --> 00:00:29,683 Fathers don't wear bathing suits, they wear trunks. 11 00:00:29,849 --> 00:00:33,239 It's kind of the same thing a tree would wear if it went swimming. 12 00:00:33,769 --> 00:00:37,125 So I get in the water in this thing, and it's, like, floating around me... 13 00:00:37,289 --> 00:00:39,041 ...somewhere. 14 00:00:39,209 --> 00:00:41,484 You ever put on a bathing suit that you don't know... 15 00:00:41,649 --> 00:00:43,719 ...exactly where you are inside the bathing suit? 16 00:00:43,889 --> 00:00:46,039 You bump into somebody, "No, I'm parasailing. 17 00:00:46,209 --> 00:00:48,120 I'm waiting for the boat to come back." 18 00:00:54,209 --> 00:00:56,439 It was supposed to be here at 7:30. 19 00:00:56,609 --> 00:00:59,248 - Call the airlines again. - What happened to the Scotch tape? 20 00:00:59,409 --> 00:01:00,888 Who takes the Scotch tape? 21 00:01:01,049 --> 00:01:03,483 Nobody returns anything around here. 22 00:01:03,649 --> 00:01:05,162 Oh, I think that's them. 23 00:01:05,329 --> 00:01:06,887 Know what I'll do next time? 24 00:01:07,049 --> 00:01:08,528 I'll hide it so nobody can find it. 25 00:01:11,009 --> 00:01:12,522 - Hi! Welcome! - Hi! 26 00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:14,168 - Welcome. - How are you? 27 00:01:14,329 --> 00:01:17,526 - Welcome to Florida! - Hi, Mr. Seinfeld. 28 00:01:17,689 --> 00:01:19,964 Hey, there's the old man. 29 00:01:20,129 --> 00:01:22,484 So, what took you so long? 30 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,083 We waited 35 minutes in the rent-a-car place. 31 00:01:25,249 --> 00:01:27,399 I don't know why. We would have picked you up. 32 00:01:27,569 --> 00:01:29,719 - What's the difference? - You could use our car. 33 00:01:29,889 --> 00:01:31,322 I don't want to use your car. 34 00:01:31,489 --> 00:01:33,525 - What's wrong with our car? - Nothing. It's fine. 35 00:01:33,689 --> 00:01:35,407 - What if you want to use it? - We don't. 36 00:01:35,569 --> 00:01:38,288 - What? We use it. - If you were using it, we wouldn't. 37 00:01:38,449 --> 00:01:39,677 So, what, you'd hitch? 38 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:42,283 - How much is a rent-a-car? - I don't know, 25 bucks a day. 39 00:01:42,449 --> 00:01:45,327 - What? Oh, you're crazy. - Plus the insurance. 40 00:01:45,489 --> 00:01:46,922 Oh, I didn't get the insurance. 41 00:01:47,089 --> 00:01:49,239 How could you not get the insurance? 42 00:01:49,689 --> 00:01:50,883 We'll pay for the car. 43 00:01:51,049 --> 00:01:53,085 - You're not paying for it. - Morty. 44 00:01:54,249 --> 00:01:56,126 God, it's so hot in here. 45 00:01:57,849 --> 00:01:59,601 Why don't you put on the air conditioning? 46 00:01:59,769 --> 00:02:03,398 You don't need the air conditioner. Do you have your speech all ready? 47 00:02:03,569 --> 00:02:05,161 Do I have to make a speech? 48 00:02:05,329 --> 00:02:07,968 Of course. They're giving a testimonial for your father. 49 00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:10,199 - You could do your comic routines. - Oh, yeah. 50 00:02:10,369 --> 00:02:13,008 That'll go over real well with that crowd. 51 00:02:13,249 --> 00:02:14,841 You have a lake. 52 00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:16,921 - The lake isn't real. - The lake is real. 53 00:02:17,089 --> 00:02:18,681 Are you kidding? They built the lake. 54 00:02:18,849 --> 00:02:21,363 But it's real, it's water. 55 00:02:22,249 --> 00:02:25,161 - Where are you going with those? - I'll put Elaine's stuff in here. 56 00:02:25,329 --> 00:02:27,160 Don't sleep in there. Sleep in the bedroom. 57 00:02:27,609 --> 00:02:28,928 I can't take your bedroom. 58 00:02:29,089 --> 00:02:32,206 - I'm up at 6:00 in the morning. - I can't kick you out of your bed. 59 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,360 We don't even sleep. 60 00:02:34,809 --> 00:02:36,925 - Ma. - It's a sofa bed. 61 00:02:37,089 --> 00:02:39,000 - You'll be uncomfortable. - What about you? 62 00:02:39,169 --> 00:02:40,363 Why should I be comfortable? 63 00:02:41,609 --> 00:02:43,679 - What about him? - Don't worry. He's comfortable. 64 00:02:43,849 --> 00:02:45,805 I'll sleep standing up. I'll be fine. 65 00:02:47,009 --> 00:02:50,285 - Will you stop? - Yeah, I'll just stay in here. 66 00:02:51,049 --> 00:02:52,767 Jerry. 67 00:02:55,529 --> 00:02:58,282 Jerry, you don't have to stay on the couch on my account. 68 00:02:58,449 --> 00:03:01,327 - You two can stay in there together. - That's not a good idea. 69 00:03:01,489 --> 00:03:04,208 - I thought that you- - Not now. She's right inside. 70 00:03:04,369 --> 00:03:05,722 What happened? 71 00:03:05,969 --> 00:03:08,767 I don't know. We decided we don't really work as a couple. 72 00:03:09,129 --> 00:03:11,165 - What does that mean? - Well- 73 00:03:11,329 --> 00:03:13,160 Why are you whispering? 74 00:03:13,689 --> 00:03:15,645 - Nothing, nothing. - Elaine. 75 00:03:15,809 --> 00:03:17,765 - What about her? - Would you please be-? 76 00:03:19,369 --> 00:03:22,122 You know, look at the sun-dried tomatoes. 77 00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,484 Where were they five years ago? 78 00:03:24,649 --> 00:03:27,004 It just goes to show you, you never know what- 79 00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:29,399 What, you know, could happen... 80 00:03:29,849 --> 00:03:33,159 ...to a vegetable. It could just take right off at any time. 81 00:03:36,529 --> 00:03:38,281 We've tried all kinds of arrangements... 82 00:03:38,449 --> 00:03:41,088 ...but we can't seem to be friends when we sleep together. 83 00:03:41,329 --> 00:03:43,763 Why do you need more friends? 84 00:03:43,929 --> 00:03:45,408 You've got plenty of friends. 85 00:03:45,729 --> 00:03:48,687 - He's an idealist. - What are you looking for? 86 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,363 - I'm looking. I like looking. - He likes looking. 87 00:03:51,529 --> 00:03:53,042 - So look. - But how long can you look? 88 00:03:53,209 --> 00:03:55,200 I'm going for the record. 89 00:03:57,329 --> 00:03:59,968 Your father wouldn't say so, but he's really glad you came. 90 00:04:00,129 --> 00:04:02,040 - Oh, come on. - This is a big thing for him. 91 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,598 Outgoing president of the condo association. 92 00:04:08,369 --> 00:04:10,758 So they arrived safely. 93 00:04:10,929 --> 00:04:13,284 - Remember Jack and Doris? - Nice to see you. 94 00:04:13,449 --> 00:04:15,041 - This is Elaine. - Hi. 95 00:04:15,209 --> 00:04:16,608 - Nice to meet you. Hello. - Hello. 96 00:04:16,769 --> 00:04:18,521 - Pleased to meet you. - Hey, Jerry... 97 00:04:18,689 --> 00:04:21,249 ...you came all the way down here for this? 98 00:04:21,409 --> 00:04:22,683 And scuba diving. 99 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,760 Scuba diving? Who's going scuba diving? 100 00:04:24,929 --> 00:04:26,760 We're going. We'll be back in time. 101 00:04:26,929 --> 00:04:28,647 What do you have to go scuba diving for? 102 00:04:28,809 --> 00:04:30,606 - For fun. - For fun? 103 00:04:30,769 --> 00:04:32,441 Jack, have some sponge cake. 104 00:04:33,369 --> 00:04:35,246 No. Thanks, no. 105 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,603 Jack is emceeing tomorrow. 106 00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:40,081 - He's in charge of the whole thing. - So, Jerry, your mother tells me... 107 00:04:40,249 --> 00:04:42,888 ...you're gonna do one of your little comedy skits tomorrow. 108 00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:45,483 - I don't think so. - No? 109 00:04:45,649 --> 00:04:48,038 Listen, Morty, you want to settle up for last night? 110 00:04:48,209 --> 00:04:53,158 All right. I owe you $19.45. 111 00:04:53,329 --> 00:04:55,399 What did you have? You had the minute steak. 112 00:04:55,569 --> 00:04:57,161 - Yeah. - Did you have a Coke or what? 113 00:04:57,329 --> 00:04:59,718 I did not have a Coke. 114 00:04:59,889 --> 00:05:01,083 Somebody had a Coke. 115 00:05:01,329 --> 00:05:03,160 - I had a Coke. - Oh, and I had the scampi. 116 00:05:03,729 --> 00:05:07,199 So, that's $17.10, and the tax and the tip. 117 00:05:07,569 --> 00:05:09,560 All right, make it 20 bucks. 118 00:05:09,729 --> 00:05:13,005 It's $19.45, Morty. 119 00:05:13,169 --> 00:05:14,727 $19.45? 120 00:05:15,089 --> 00:05:16,522 See, you know your father. 121 00:05:16,689 --> 00:05:18,725 You got to get it right to the penny. 122 00:05:18,889 --> 00:05:21,323 But that's why he was such a good president. 123 00:05:21,769 --> 00:05:23,043 Hey, what kind of pen is that? 124 00:05:24,529 --> 00:05:25,803 - This pen? - Yeah. 125 00:05:25,969 --> 00:05:28,437 Oh, this is an astronaut pen. 126 00:05:28,689 --> 00:05:31,647 It writes upside down. They use this in space. 127 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:35,643 Oh, that's the astronaut pen. I heard about that. Where did you get it? 128 00:05:36,129 --> 00:05:39,087 - It was a gift. - Because a lot of times I write in bed... 129 00:05:39,249 --> 00:05:42,241 ...and I have to turn and lean on my elbow to make the pen work. 130 00:05:44,329 --> 00:05:45,728 - Take the pen. - Oh, no. 131 00:05:45,889 --> 00:05:46,924 - Go ahead. - I couldn't. 132 00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:48,238 - Take it. - I can't take it. 133 00:05:48,409 --> 00:05:50,525 - Do me a personal favour. - No, I'm not comfortable. 134 00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:52,486 - I cannot take it. - Take the pen. 135 00:05:52,649 --> 00:05:55,686 - Are you sure? - I'm positive. Take the pen. 136 00:05:56,209 --> 00:05:59,997 Okay, thank you very much. Thank you. Gee, boy. 137 00:06:00,169 --> 00:06:02,239 - Jack, what are you doing? - Stop it. 138 00:06:02,409 --> 00:06:04,047 Jack, we should go. 139 00:06:06,049 --> 00:06:08,165 It was nice meeting you. 140 00:06:08,329 --> 00:06:09,728 - Nice to meet you. - Thanks again. 141 00:06:10,009 --> 00:06:11,408 Come on! 142 00:06:11,569 --> 00:06:13,446 She's adorable. 143 00:06:17,569 --> 00:06:18,888 What did you take his pen for? 144 00:06:20,649 --> 00:06:22,924 - He gave it to me. - But you didn't have to take it. 145 00:06:23,089 --> 00:06:25,205 She's gotta make a big deal out of everything. 146 00:06:25,369 --> 00:06:28,122 - He offered it to me. - Because you made such a big fuss. 147 00:06:28,289 --> 00:06:30,678 Well, I liked it. Should I have said I didn't like it? 148 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,443 You shouldn't have said anything. What did you expect? 149 00:06:33,609 --> 00:06:36,362 He could have said, "Thank you," and put it back in his pocket. 150 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:39,202 - He loves that pen. - Come on. 151 00:06:39,369 --> 00:06:42,122 He talks about it all the time. He goes on and on... 152 00:06:42,289 --> 00:06:44,803 ...about how it writes upside down, how astronauts use it. 153 00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,607 He never should have offered it. 154 00:06:46,769 --> 00:06:49,567 - He didn't think you'd accept. - Well, he was wrong. 155 00:06:50,689 --> 00:06:53,328 I know his wife. She has some mouth on her. 156 00:06:53,489 --> 00:06:56,765 She'll tell everyone in the condo now that you made him give you the pen. 157 00:06:57,169 --> 00:06:59,000 They're talking about it right now. 158 00:06:59,249 --> 00:07:01,558 - So you want me to return it? - Yes. 159 00:07:01,729 --> 00:07:03,959 He's not gonna return that pen. That's ridiculous. 160 00:07:04,129 --> 00:07:05,721 I don't even want the pen now. 161 00:07:05,889 --> 00:07:08,687 Jack can afford to give away a pen with all his money, believe me. 162 00:07:08,849 --> 00:07:11,363 He gives me a check for $19.45. 163 00:07:11,529 --> 00:07:14,089 He didn't have a Coke. 164 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,646 Here, let me see it. 165 00:07:19,809 --> 00:07:22,881 - Hey, it writes upside down. - Yeah. 166 00:07:33,249 --> 00:07:35,126 Come in. 167 00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:38,288 You okay in here? 168 00:07:39,529 --> 00:07:42,362 Why is it so hot in here? 169 00:07:43,569 --> 00:07:45,241 How can they sleep like this? 170 00:07:45,409 --> 00:07:46,967 It's only for three days. 171 00:07:47,129 --> 00:07:48,801 Today's over. Then we have tomorrow. 172 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,881 We leave on Sunday. It's one day, really. 173 00:07:54,649 --> 00:07:57,163 What is with this bar? 174 00:07:57,849 --> 00:08:00,124 It's right in my back. It's killing me. 175 00:08:00,289 --> 00:08:02,200 You wanna switch? I'm on a love seat. 176 00:08:02,369 --> 00:08:05,679 I got my feet up in the air like I'm in a space capsule. 177 00:08:06,449 --> 00:08:08,007 I am never gonna fall asleep. 178 00:08:08,169 --> 00:08:10,558 Oh, no, don't say that. You'll jinx me. 179 00:08:12,209 --> 00:08:14,439 How can they not put the air conditioning on? 180 00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:16,759 They're nuts with temperature. 181 00:08:19,169 --> 00:08:21,967 This bar is right in my back. 182 00:08:24,209 --> 00:08:26,325 It's making a dent. 183 00:08:28,449 --> 00:08:33,000 How about that guy writing a check for $19.45? 184 00:08:33,809 --> 00:08:35,242 I'm sweating here. 185 00:08:36,129 --> 00:08:39,087 I'm in bed, sweating. 186 00:08:39,409 --> 00:08:41,001 It's one day. 187 00:08:41,329 --> 00:08:43,081 Half a day, really. 188 00:08:43,409 --> 00:08:47,561 I mean, you subtract showers and meals, it's like 20 minutes. 189 00:08:47,849 --> 00:08:49,805 It'll go by like that. 190 00:08:51,089 --> 00:08:54,286 Stay on 95 South to Biscayne Boulevard. 191 00:08:55,689 --> 00:08:56,838 Then you make a left turn. 192 00:08:57,409 --> 00:09:00,481 Put your blinker on immediately, there's an abutment there. 193 00:09:00,649 --> 00:09:03,721 Then you're gonna merge over very quickly, but stay on Biscayne. 194 00:09:03,889 --> 00:09:05,641 Don't get off Biscayne, you understand me? 195 00:09:05,809 --> 00:09:07,686 Stay on Biscayne. 196 00:09:08,529 --> 00:09:09,962 You're going underwater? 197 00:09:10,129 --> 00:09:12,962 Yes, generally, that's where scuba diving is done. 198 00:09:13,249 --> 00:09:16,047 What do you have to go for? What's down there that's so special? 199 00:09:17,169 --> 00:09:18,887 What's so special up here? 200 00:09:21,529 --> 00:09:22,723 What's the matter? 201 00:09:22,889 --> 00:09:25,278 - My back. - What happened? 202 00:09:25,449 --> 00:09:26,848 That- That bed. 203 00:09:27,009 --> 00:09:29,318 The bar was right in my back. 204 00:09:29,489 --> 00:09:31,445 I told you to let us sleep in there. 205 00:09:31,609 --> 00:09:33,281 Then you would be hunched over. 206 00:09:34,289 --> 00:09:36,757 I don't even know if I can go scuba diving. 207 00:09:36,929 --> 00:09:39,159 - You can't go? - So stay home. 208 00:09:39,689 --> 00:09:41,441 - You can go. - Without you? 209 00:09:41,609 --> 00:09:43,008 That's the reason you came down. 210 00:09:43,169 --> 00:09:44,966 - Don't go. - You sure? 211 00:09:45,129 --> 00:09:46,403 Maybe you should see a doctor. 212 00:09:46,649 --> 00:09:49,163 - We'll stay in a hotel tonight. - No, we'll stay in there. 213 00:09:49,329 --> 00:09:50,603 Why don't you get a new sofa? 214 00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:52,920 Nobody uses it. 215 00:09:53,289 --> 00:09:54,927 I'm buying you a new sofa. 216 00:09:55,089 --> 00:09:56,408 Jerry, don't talk crazy. 217 00:09:56,569 --> 00:09:58,446 Mrs. Seinfeld, please... 218 00:09:58,689 --> 00:10:00,645 ...I am begging you: 219 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:04,722 Put the air conditioner on. 220 00:10:08,049 --> 00:10:09,641 You're hot? 221 00:10:10,929 --> 00:10:13,489 I've lost six pounds. 222 00:10:13,929 --> 00:10:15,521 I don't even know how to work it. 223 00:10:15,689 --> 00:10:18,078 I keep telling her it's like an oven in here. 224 00:10:19,729 --> 00:10:21,003 Is everybody up? 225 00:10:21,169 --> 00:10:22,841 Hi, how are you? 226 00:10:23,009 --> 00:10:24,442 Hello, Jerry. 227 00:10:24,609 --> 00:10:26,088 Evelyn, this is Elaine. 228 00:10:26,329 --> 00:10:27,523 Hi, Evelyn. 229 00:10:29,009 --> 00:10:31,125 Jerry, you got thin. 230 00:10:31,329 --> 00:10:32,842 - Too thin? - Oh, stop worrying... 231 00:10:33,009 --> 00:10:34,442 ...so much about how you look. 232 00:10:36,489 --> 00:10:38,241 So where's the new pen? 233 00:10:47,529 --> 00:10:49,406 - What? - The pen. 234 00:10:49,569 --> 00:10:51,525 The one Jack Klompus gave you. 235 00:10:51,889 --> 00:10:54,244 - How did you know that? - Blanche told me. 236 00:10:54,409 --> 00:10:57,924 - Blanche? - That's some good pen. 237 00:10:58,089 --> 00:11:01,206 - Writes upside down. - Yeah. 238 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:05,001 - The astronauts use them. - What did Blanche say? 239 00:11:05,169 --> 00:11:07,524 I don't know, she said Jerry wanted the pen. 240 00:11:07,689 --> 00:11:09,759 I never really wanted the pen. 241 00:11:09,929 --> 00:11:11,726 - He gave him the pen. - Morty. 242 00:11:11,889 --> 00:11:14,449 - Why? You don't like the pen? - No, no, I- 243 00:11:14,609 --> 00:11:16,520 Because if you don't, give it back to him. 244 00:11:16,689 --> 00:11:18,566 - Is that what she said? - Who? 245 00:11:18,729 --> 00:11:20,845 - Blanche. - What are you talking about? 246 00:11:23,929 --> 00:11:25,123 Hello? 247 00:11:25,289 --> 00:11:28,042 Oh, hello, Gussy. What? 248 00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:31,406 Jerry wouldn't do that. Jack gave it to him. 249 00:11:32,849 --> 00:11:35,568 All he said was he liked it. 250 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,685 I mean, nobody put a gun to his head. 251 00:11:37,849 --> 00:11:40,363 You're giving him back that pen. 252 00:11:42,329 --> 00:11:43,762 Somebody, please. 253 00:11:43,929 --> 00:11:45,567 The air conditioner. 254 00:11:45,889 --> 00:11:47,527 Oh, my God, I forgot all about it. 255 00:11:47,689 --> 00:11:51,318 All I said was, "I like the pen." 256 00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:54,438 How the hell do you work this thing? 257 00:11:57,929 --> 00:12:00,204 Maybe you shouldn't go tonight. 258 00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:02,325 Oh, no, no, I wanna go. 259 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:03,888 But your back hurts. 260 00:12:04,049 --> 00:12:06,244 Maybe a couple of muscle relaxers would help. 261 00:12:06,609 --> 00:12:08,167 Oh, okay. 262 00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,679 You can turn down the air conditioning if you want. 263 00:12:12,849 --> 00:12:14,567 No, I'm fine. 264 00:12:15,009 --> 00:12:17,648 - You're not too cold? - No. 265 00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:21,802 - Don't be alarmed. - Oh, my God. 266 00:12:21,969 --> 00:12:23,846 - What the hell happened to you? - I'm okay. 267 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:26,569 - My capillaries burst. - Your capillaries? 268 00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:29,243 - Do you know what you look like? - How you doing? 269 00:12:29,409 --> 00:12:31,081 Having a good time. 270 00:12:31,249 --> 00:12:33,638 Is it my imagination or is it freezing in here? 271 00:12:33,809 --> 00:12:35,242 What happened to your eyes? 272 00:12:35,409 --> 00:12:37,969 - Well, I started to go under- - With the instructor? 273 00:12:38,129 --> 00:12:39,562 Yeah, I got about 10 feet down... 274 00:12:39,729 --> 00:12:42,402 ...and felt this tremendous pressure on my mask... 275 00:12:42,569 --> 00:12:45,402 ...like my eyeballs were being sucked out of their sockets. 276 00:12:45,569 --> 00:12:46,797 I told you. 277 00:12:47,089 --> 00:12:48,522 Excuse me. 278 00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:51,487 Doris would like to borrow your red pocketbook... 279 00:12:51,649 --> 00:12:53,207 ...to go with her shoes. 280 00:12:53,369 --> 00:12:55,166 The shoes have to match the pocketbook. 281 00:12:56,089 --> 00:12:57,966 What's she doing, yoga? 282 00:12:58,649 --> 00:13:00,526 - My back hurts. - Morty, better hurry up. 283 00:13:00,689 --> 00:13:02,600 - Get ready. - We got plenty of time. 284 00:13:02,769 --> 00:13:04,839 - What happened? - I got in a fistfight... 285 00:13:05,009 --> 00:13:07,284 ...with one of the ladies at the pool. 286 00:13:07,769 --> 00:13:09,168 It's from scuba diving. 287 00:13:09,449 --> 00:13:10,928 What's there to see underwater? 288 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,126 Listen, Mr. Klompus... 289 00:13:13,289 --> 00:13:17,168 ...it was a nice gesture to give me the pen, but I don't really need it. 290 00:13:18,329 --> 00:13:20,047 - You what? - It's a terrific pen... 291 00:13:20,209 --> 00:13:21,767 ...but I think you should keep it. 292 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,041 - Well, I mean- - Take it. 293 00:13:24,689 --> 00:13:26,247 All right. 294 00:13:26,409 --> 00:13:29,765 You know, Jack, you got a hell of a nerve taking that kid's pen. 295 00:13:29,969 --> 00:13:31,402 - Whose pen? - His pen. 296 00:13:31,569 --> 00:13:32,763 This happens to be my pen. 297 00:13:32,929 --> 00:13:35,523 - You didn't give it to him? - What are you talking about? 298 00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:37,247 He practically begged me for it. 299 00:13:37,929 --> 00:13:39,442 Where do you come off with this crap? 300 00:13:39,609 --> 00:13:42,521 Listen, do you think I take everything everybody offers me? 301 00:13:42,849 --> 00:13:44,601 You offered me sponge cake yesterday. 302 00:13:44,769 --> 00:13:46,566 - Did I take it? - You didn't want it. 303 00:13:46,729 --> 00:13:49,801 Of course I wanted it! I love sponge cake. 304 00:13:49,969 --> 00:13:51,607 Who said you couldn't have it? I mean... 305 00:13:51,769 --> 00:13:54,124 ...what the hell do I care whether you have sponge cake? 306 00:13:54,289 --> 00:13:56,359 Because I saw the look on your face last week... 307 00:13:56,529 --> 00:13:58,247 ...when I took the Scotch tape. 308 00:13:58,689 --> 00:14:00,361 So you got the Scotch tape. 309 00:14:00,529 --> 00:14:02,838 - I've been looking all over for it. - I'll give it back. 310 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,920 - I don't want it. - I don't want it! 311 00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:07,999 You know, Jack, do me a favour, will you? 312 00:14:08,169 --> 00:14:11,366 Take the pen and the Scotch tape and get the hell out of here. 313 00:14:11,529 --> 00:14:13,167 Listen, do you think I give a damn? 314 00:14:17,169 --> 00:14:19,842 Nerve of that guy, taking back that pen. 315 00:14:20,009 --> 00:14:21,488 Well, that's it for them. 316 00:14:21,649 --> 00:14:25,085 What is going on in this community? 317 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:27,241 Are you people aware of what's happening? 318 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,764 What is driving you to this behaviour? 319 00:14:29,929 --> 00:14:32,045 Is it the humidity? Is it the Muzak? 320 00:14:32,209 --> 00:14:34,040 Is it the white shoes? 321 00:14:34,609 --> 00:14:38,045 I have no use for either one of them. I don't want them there tonight. 322 00:14:38,209 --> 00:14:39,528 Isn't he supposed to emcee? 323 00:14:39,889 --> 00:14:41,607 Yeah, he's supposed to be the emcee. 324 00:14:42,289 --> 00:14:44,325 Well, this should be a very interesting evening. 325 00:14:45,889 --> 00:14:49,165 What about those muscle relaxers? 326 00:14:52,969 --> 00:14:55,085 Say "astronaut." 327 00:14:55,849 --> 00:14:57,646 Say what? 328 00:14:58,169 --> 00:15:00,205 Say what? 329 00:15:00,369 --> 00:15:02,644 You took too many of those pills. 330 00:15:03,089 --> 00:15:04,841 - Astronaut? - Say it. 331 00:15:05,009 --> 00:15:08,206 - Astronaut! - Astro... 332 00:15:11,849 --> 00:15:12,998 Good. Okay. 333 00:15:13,169 --> 00:15:15,399 Last year, I took him to the hospital every day. 334 00:15:15,569 --> 00:15:17,480 Did he ever say thank you? 335 00:15:17,649 --> 00:15:19,162 Oh, God. 336 00:15:19,329 --> 00:15:21,001 Uncle Leo. 337 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,317 Hello! 338 00:15:24,969 --> 00:15:27,881 - Morty, are you nervous? - What nervous? 339 00:15:28,049 --> 00:15:30,563 What's with the sunglasses? Who are you, Van Johnson? 340 00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:31,878 I got a black eye. 341 00:15:32,649 --> 00:15:34,367 Hello. 342 00:15:34,929 --> 00:15:36,999 Oh, Elaine... 343 00:15:37,649 --> 00:15:39,082 ...this is my Aunt Stella. 344 00:15:40,049 --> 00:15:42,085 Stella! 345 00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,760 Stella! 346 00:15:47,849 --> 00:15:49,919 Her back hurts. 347 00:15:52,449 --> 00:15:54,565 We saw you on The Tonight Show last week. 348 00:15:54,729 --> 00:15:57,289 I thought Johnny was very rude to you. 349 00:15:57,449 --> 00:16:00,441 - He didn't even let you talk. - No, no. 350 00:16:00,609 --> 00:16:01,928 You need some new material. 351 00:16:02,089 --> 00:16:05,399 I've heard you do that dog routine three times already. 352 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:08,609 Stella! 353 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,766 Stella! 354 00:16:12,169 --> 00:16:15,718 You should get your cousin Jeffrey to write some material for you. 355 00:16:15,889 --> 00:16:18,449 What? Jeffrey works for the Parks Department. 356 00:16:18,609 --> 00:16:20,918 You should read the letters he's written. 357 00:16:21,089 --> 00:16:23,398 He's funnier than the whole bunch of you. 358 00:16:23,689 --> 00:16:26,283 Oh, here's Jack. We should sit down. 359 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:32,399 This better be good. I'm missing Golden Girls for this. 360 00:16:34,129 --> 00:16:36,723 I hate her like poison. 361 00:16:39,569 --> 00:16:41,685 Hey, Jack, let's get started. 362 00:16:47,369 --> 00:16:49,963 Ladies and gentlemen, as you know... 363 00:16:50,329 --> 00:16:55,084 ...every year, phase two of the Pines of Mar Gables... 364 00:16:55,249 --> 00:16:57,968 ...honours the previous year's president. 365 00:16:58,129 --> 00:16:59,926 And this year, we are honouring... 366 00:17:00,089 --> 00:17:01,488 ...Morty Seinfeld. 367 00:17:01,649 --> 00:17:03,367 Morty! 368 00:17:05,089 --> 00:17:09,640 A man who slept more hours on the job than Ronald Reagan. 369 00:17:12,369 --> 00:17:14,200 Slept on the job? 370 00:17:14,369 --> 00:17:17,122 Being president of the condo is not easy. 371 00:17:17,289 --> 00:17:20,406 It requires hard work, dedication, and commitment. 372 00:17:20,569 --> 00:17:25,438 And unfortunately, he possesses none of these qualities. 373 00:17:28,049 --> 00:17:29,801 I wonder what he ever did. 374 00:17:29,969 --> 00:17:31,880 He's joking. 375 00:17:32,049 --> 00:17:35,200 His administration did excel in one department: 376 00:17:35,369 --> 00:17:37,803 The hiring of incompetents. 377 00:17:38,129 --> 00:17:39,926 That's what you say. 378 00:17:40,089 --> 00:17:43,047 But we do owe him a debt of gratitude... 379 00:17:43,209 --> 00:17:46,758 ...because by not fixing the crack in the sidewalk... 380 00:17:46,929 --> 00:17:51,286 ...it put Mrs. Ziven out of commission for a few weeks. 381 00:17:52,409 --> 00:17:54,525 Tell them about when you took my son's pen back. 382 00:17:54,689 --> 00:17:56,327 Tell them about that. 383 00:17:56,529 --> 00:17:57,803 Dad. 384 00:17:57,969 --> 00:18:00,483 He gave my son a pen, and then he takes it back. 385 00:18:00,649 --> 00:18:02,207 - Tell them that! - I took it back? 386 00:18:02,369 --> 00:18:04,519 - He gave it to me! - That's enough. Sit down. 387 00:18:04,689 --> 00:18:07,203 - I'm not finished! - Give me that microphone. Give it! 388 00:18:07,369 --> 00:18:09,758 - Morty, give me that. - Give him the pen. 389 00:18:11,289 --> 00:18:13,484 You broke my dental plate. 390 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,880 Doris! He broke my dental plate. 391 00:18:16,049 --> 00:18:18,199 You son of a bitch. I'll sue you. 392 00:18:18,369 --> 00:18:19,722 Jerry, do your act. 393 00:18:19,929 --> 00:18:21,726 I can't. Nobody's even listening. 394 00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:23,402 Well, they're all gonna leave. 395 00:18:23,849 --> 00:18:26,283 - I got witnesses here. - Even your wife is on my side. 396 00:18:26,449 --> 00:18:28,485 How you folks doing tonight? 397 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:32,005 Hey, have you ever noticed how they give you the peanuts on the planes? 398 00:18:32,169 --> 00:18:34,888 - Not my Harry! He flies first class! - Who thought the thing... 399 00:18:35,049 --> 00:18:37,244 ...everybody wants on a plane is a peanut? 400 00:18:37,409 --> 00:18:40,526 - I'd rather have a bottle of Scotch! - Do the dog routine. 401 00:18:41,369 --> 00:18:44,441 All I said was, "I like the pen!" 402 00:18:46,409 --> 00:18:50,118 Stella! 403 00:18:51,209 --> 00:18:52,528 You could aggravate it. 404 00:18:53,209 --> 00:18:55,165 I wouldn't go anywhere for at least five days. 405 00:18:55,649 --> 00:18:57,367 Five days? 406 00:18:57,529 --> 00:18:59,884 You want me to stay here for five more days? 407 00:19:00,049 --> 00:19:01,801 There must be some mistake. 408 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:03,722 I'm afraid not. 409 00:19:03,889 --> 00:19:05,959 Five days. Here. 410 00:19:06,249 --> 00:19:09,286 So we have you for five more days. 411 00:19:09,969 --> 00:19:12,358 There's no point in me staying. You're just gonna be- 412 00:19:12,529 --> 00:19:14,042 Excuse me? 413 00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:16,008 Nothing. 414 00:19:17,649 --> 00:19:20,004 - Good morning. - Hi, Evelyn. 415 00:19:20,249 --> 00:19:23,207 Has Morty decided on a lawyer yet? 416 00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:25,679 - I don't think so. - Because my nephew Larry... 417 00:19:25,849 --> 00:19:27,885 ...could do it. He's a brilliant lawyer. 418 00:19:28,049 --> 00:19:30,085 He says Jack has no case. 419 00:19:30,329 --> 00:19:32,206 I'll ask him when he gets up. 420 00:19:32,369 --> 00:19:34,246 Oh, and I spoke to Arnold... 421 00:19:34,569 --> 00:19:38,960 ...and he says that according to the bylaws of the condo constitution... 422 00:19:39,129 --> 00:19:43,361 ...they need six votes to throw you out for unruly behaviour. 423 00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:45,323 Not five. 424 00:19:45,609 --> 00:19:48,282 Dr. Chernov is the one you'll have to suck up to. 425 00:19:52,489 --> 00:19:53,842 Oh, my back. 426 00:19:54,009 --> 00:19:55,806 Oh, my back. 427 00:19:55,969 --> 00:19:59,086 That bar. Who the hell could sleep on that thing? 428 00:19:59,409 --> 00:20:01,923 - I was very comfortable. - Morty... 429 00:20:02,089 --> 00:20:05,161 ...Arnold says they need six votes to throw you out. 430 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,728 It's in the constitution. 431 00:20:06,889 --> 00:20:09,767 - Who are you? - I'm a chiropractor. 432 00:20:09,929 --> 00:20:12,159 What, are you kidding me? 433 00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,608 Five more days? 434 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:19,799 Well, today's almost over, and weekdays always go by fast. 435 00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,437 And Friday, we're leaving, so it's like two days, really. 436 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,925 It's like a cup of coffee. 437 00:20:26,289 --> 00:20:28,200 It'll go by like that. 438 00:20:28,809 --> 00:20:32,119 Is Florida not hot and muggy enough for these people? 439 00:20:32,289 --> 00:20:33,768 They love heat. 440 00:20:33,929 --> 00:20:36,284 If they ever decide to land men on the sun... 441 00:20:36,449 --> 00:20:39,202 ...I think these old retired guys will be the only ones... 442 00:20:39,369 --> 00:20:41,678 ...that will be able to handle it. They'll sit there... 443 00:20:41,849 --> 00:20:45,159 ...on the redwood benches, washcloth on their head, going: 444 00:20:45,609 --> 00:20:47,964 "I'm trying to get a sweat going." 445 00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:33,280 Subtitles by SDl Media Group