1 00:00:02,129 --> 00:00:03,482 As a kid, my favourite ride... 2 00:00:04,969 --> 00:00:07,403 ...was the bumper car. Remember? Going around in a circle. 3 00:00:07,569 --> 00:00:09,639 There was always one kid that could not do it. 4 00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:11,003 Do you remember this kid? 5 00:00:11,169 --> 00:00:13,000 As soon as the ride gets started... 6 00:00:13,169 --> 00:00:15,478 ...he'd be, like, stuck in a pack of empty cars. 7 00:00:16,129 --> 00:00:17,323 Just- 8 00:00:19,289 --> 00:00:21,200 "Excuse me. 9 00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,525 Excuse me. It won't go! 10 00:00:24,009 --> 00:00:25,158 Come on! 11 00:00:25,569 --> 00:00:27,719 It's almost over!" 12 00:00:29,169 --> 00:00:30,807 He always ends up with the attendant... 13 00:00:30,969 --> 00:00:33,529 ...hanging off that big pole helping him steer it. 14 00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:38,528 "Stop crying." 15 00:00:39,089 --> 00:00:40,363 Then there's always that other- 16 00:00:40,529 --> 00:00:41,962 One other really bad car- 17 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,562 The helpless father-and-son team. 18 00:00:43,729 --> 00:00:45,560 This is another car just not going anywhere. 19 00:00:45,729 --> 00:00:47,845 They're never organized. Who's on the wheel? 20 00:00:48,009 --> 00:00:49,442 Who's pressing on the gas? Just: 21 00:00:49,609 --> 00:00:51,520 "Son, turn the wheel." 22 00:00:57,049 --> 00:00:58,368 All right, Coney Island? 23 00:00:58,529 --> 00:01:01,168 Okay, you can take the B or the F and switch for the N... 24 00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:02,557 ...at Broadway and Lafayette. 25 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,640 Or you can go over the bridge to DeKalb... 26 00:01:04,809 --> 00:01:06,447 ...and catch the Q to Atlantic Avenue... 27 00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:09,487 ...then switch to the IRT, 2, 3, 4 or 5. 28 00:01:09,649 --> 00:01:10,877 But don't get on the G. 29 00:01:11,049 --> 00:01:13,085 That's very tempting, but you wind up on Smith... 30 00:01:13,249 --> 00:01:15,444 ...and 9th Street. Then you gotta get on the R. 31 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,882 Couldn't he just take the D straight to Coney Island? 32 00:01:19,089 --> 00:01:20,522 Well, yeah. 33 00:01:22,929 --> 00:01:25,682 Okay. What time is your job interview, George? 34 00:01:25,849 --> 00:01:27,043 9:45. 35 00:01:27,209 --> 00:01:28,483 Don't whistle on the elevator. 36 00:01:28,929 --> 00:01:31,318 - Why not? - That's what Willy Loman told Biff... 37 00:01:31,489 --> 00:01:33,639 ...before his interview in Death of a Salesman. 38 00:01:33,809 --> 00:01:36,004 You're comparing me to Biff Loman? Very encouraging. 39 00:01:36,169 --> 00:01:38,808 The biggest loser in the history of American literature. 40 00:01:38,969 --> 00:01:41,244 - I gotta get going. - What time's the lesbian wedding? 41 00:01:41,529 --> 00:01:43,724 -9:30. - Lesbian wedding. 42 00:01:43,889 --> 00:01:46,687 How do they work the bride and groom on that? Do they flip a coin? 43 00:01:46,849 --> 00:01:48,840 Yeah, they flip a coin. 44 00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:52,321 What, was that not politically correct? It's a legitimate question. 45 00:01:52,809 --> 00:01:55,926 I'm so tired. I'm gonna fall asleep on that train. 46 00:01:56,089 --> 00:01:58,523 I feel when lesbians are looking at me, they're thinking: 47 00:01:58,689 --> 00:02:00,486 "That's why I'm not a heterosexual." 48 00:02:02,569 --> 00:02:05,322 All right, Jerry, come on. Pick up the check so we can go. 49 00:02:05,489 --> 00:02:07,002 - I'm paying for breakfast? - Yeah. 50 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:09,637 - Yeah. - Why do I always pay? 51 00:02:09,809 --> 00:02:11,686 What am I, made of money? 52 00:02:11,969 --> 00:02:13,402 You bunch of deadbeats. 53 00:02:14,929 --> 00:02:16,681 How many tickets you paying today? 54 00:02:17,209 --> 00:02:21,248 Let's see. Speeding, running a red light, no licence, no registration... 55 00:02:21,929 --> 00:02:24,921 ...no plates, no brake lights, no rear-view mirror. 56 00:02:25,489 --> 00:02:27,127 Look at that one. 57 00:02:27,649 --> 00:02:29,719 - "No doors"? - Yeah, I'm fighting that one. 58 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,804 You know, this is gonna cost me over 600 bucks. 59 00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:37,559 I can't carry change in these pants. It falls out. 60 00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:41,122 - Here you go. - There you go. 61 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,603 Thank you. 62 00:02:45,169 --> 00:02:46,887 That guy's not blind. 63 00:02:48,049 --> 00:02:50,609 So can I convince anybody to come down to Coney Island? 64 00:02:50,769 --> 00:02:52,999 Gotta pick up my car at the pound. George? 65 00:02:53,169 --> 00:02:54,966 I can't believe they found your stolen car. 66 00:02:55,129 --> 00:02:56,448 Not only did they find it... 67 00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:58,998 ...it was simonized, and the front end was aligned. 68 00:02:59,969 --> 00:03:01,561 - That's amazing. - So, what do you say? 69 00:03:01,729 --> 00:03:04,038 Ride on the Cyclone. Hot dog at Nathan's on me. 70 00:03:04,209 --> 00:03:06,439 Who are you, Satan? I'm close to a job here. 71 00:03:06,609 --> 00:03:08,839 - It's my second interview. - All right, Biff. 72 00:03:10,609 --> 00:03:13,043 Elaine? Merry-go-round? 73 00:03:13,209 --> 00:03:15,245 I can't. I'm the best man. 74 00:03:15,609 --> 00:03:17,725 Kramer. Bumper cars. 75 00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:20,847 I gotta go to court. I'll get in trouble. What's the matter with you? 76 00:03:21,009 --> 00:03:23,125 It could be years till I get back to Coney Island. 77 00:03:23,289 --> 00:03:24,563 I can't go on the rides alone. 78 00:03:24,729 --> 00:03:27,482 42nd Street. Change for the D and the double R... 79 00:03:27,649 --> 00:03:29,958 ...the 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, the C, K and F train. 80 00:03:43,169 --> 00:03:44,841 Well... 81 00:03:48,089 --> 00:03:49,283 See you. 82 00:04:37,329 --> 00:04:38,478 Hey! 83 00:04:44,569 --> 00:04:45,763 Yeah! 84 00:05:35,289 --> 00:05:38,918 - You looking for a job? - Me? Why? 85 00:05:39,289 --> 00:05:41,245 Well, you're reading the classifieds. 86 00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:43,479 Oh, no. No, no. 87 00:05:43,649 --> 00:05:46,527 I was just looking for the stock page. Here it is. 88 00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:48,482 Looking for the quotes. 89 00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:50,048 Gotta check the quotes. 90 00:05:50,209 --> 00:05:51,961 Love a good quote. 91 00:05:52,609 --> 00:05:54,327 IBM up a quarter. 92 00:05:54,689 --> 00:05:55,963 What do you know? 93 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,203 You didn't look like someone who needed a job. 94 00:05:59,409 --> 00:06:02,446 Me? No, I don't. 95 00:06:03,209 --> 00:06:06,758 Doing very well. Very well, yeah. 96 00:06:07,209 --> 00:06:08,403 So you're in the market? 97 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,720 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm in the market. 98 00:06:11,889 --> 00:06:13,083 Which market? 99 00:06:13,969 --> 00:06:16,529 Which market? The... The big one. 100 00:06:16,689 --> 00:06:18,998 The big market with the big board. 101 00:06:19,169 --> 00:06:22,605 Bull market, bear market. You name the market, I'm there. 102 00:06:23,849 --> 00:06:26,044 So do you work for one of the big brokerage houses? 103 00:06:26,209 --> 00:06:27,483 They wish. 104 00:06:27,649 --> 00:06:29,002 I hate the big brokerage houses. 105 00:06:29,169 --> 00:06:30,602 Hate them with a passion. 106 00:06:30,769 --> 00:06:32,487 Big brokerage houses killed my father. 107 00:06:32,929 --> 00:06:35,159 - Really? - Well, they hurt him bad. 108 00:06:35,329 --> 00:06:37,320 Really hurt his feelings. 109 00:06:37,489 --> 00:06:40,526 It's a long story. I don't like to talk about it... 110 00:06:41,169 --> 00:06:43,763 ...but I swore I would never work for a big brokerage house. 111 00:06:43,929 --> 00:06:46,841 See, all they care about is money. 112 00:06:47,409 --> 00:06:49,798 I'm about more than money. I'm about... 113 00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:51,163 ...people. 114 00:06:51,409 --> 00:06:53,445 So I've always gone my own way... 115 00:06:54,049 --> 00:06:55,721 ...and I've never looked back. 116 00:07:17,169 --> 00:07:19,364 I started riding these trains in the '40s. 117 00:07:21,009 --> 00:07:23,569 Those days, a man would give up his seat for a woman. 118 00:07:24,769 --> 00:07:27,329 Now we're liberated. We have to stand. 119 00:07:27,609 --> 00:07:28,803 It's ironic. 120 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,277 What's ironic? 121 00:07:30,609 --> 00:07:33,442 This. That we've come all this way, we made all this progress... 122 00:07:33,609 --> 00:07:36,521 ...but, you know, we lost the little things, the niceties. 123 00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:39,479 No, I mean, what does "ironic"mean? 124 00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,679 Where you off to with such a nice present? 125 00:07:44,849 --> 00:07:46,885 - Birthday party? - A wedding. 126 00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:48,767 - A wedding? - Yeah. 127 00:07:49,089 --> 00:07:51,728 I didn't think people still get married. 128 00:07:52,809 --> 00:07:55,004 It's hard today with the men and women. 129 00:07:55,369 --> 00:07:56,518 You're telling me. 130 00:07:56,849 --> 00:08:00,205 - So they're a nice couple? - Oh, very nice. 131 00:08:00,449 --> 00:08:02,724 What does he do, if you don't mind my asking? 132 00:08:02,889 --> 00:08:04,447 - She. - She? 133 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:08,363 She. She works, he doesn't. He sounds like my son. 134 00:08:09,209 --> 00:08:10,437 There is no "he." 135 00:08:11,089 --> 00:08:12,317 There's no he? 136 00:08:12,489 --> 00:08:14,525 So who's getting married? 137 00:08:15,969 --> 00:08:17,322 Two women. 138 00:08:17,489 --> 00:08:19,002 It's... 139 00:08:19,169 --> 00:08:20,522 ...a lesbian wedding. 140 00:08:23,249 --> 00:08:24,443 Lesbian wedding? 141 00:08:25,329 --> 00:08:28,207 Yep. Yep, I'm... 142 00:08:29,169 --> 00:08:30,363 ...the best man. 143 00:08:32,689 --> 00:08:34,042 Great. 144 00:08:35,729 --> 00:08:39,642 My luck. I don't talk to a soul on the subway for 35 years... 145 00:08:39,809 --> 00:08:42,403 ...I get the best man at a lesbian wedding. 146 00:08:42,569 --> 00:08:44,207 No, no. You don't understand. 147 00:08:44,369 --> 00:08:45,927 I'm not a lesbian! 148 00:08:46,089 --> 00:08:49,126 I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian. 149 00:09:34,009 --> 00:09:35,522 I'm realy looking forward to this. 150 00:09:35,689 --> 00:09:38,442 I love weddings. Maybe I'l meet somebody. 151 00:09:39,529 --> 00:09:40,803 Maybe not. 152 00:09:43,729 --> 00:09:46,641 Oh, man. We're stopping? 153 00:09:48,289 --> 00:09:51,087 Well, this is where I get off. 154 00:09:51,249 --> 00:09:53,888 - You do? - Yeah. 155 00:09:54,049 --> 00:09:57,007 Hey, why don't you...? Oh, nothing. 156 00:09:57,369 --> 00:09:58,597 No, no. What? 157 00:09:58,769 --> 00:10:01,044 Well, I was gonna say, "Why don't you get off with me." 158 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,120 But you're obviously very busy on your way... 159 00:10:03,289 --> 00:10:05,200 ...to some important meeting or something. 160 00:10:05,769 --> 00:10:07,327 Yeah. Well... 161 00:10:07,489 --> 00:10:09,844 See, I knew it was a bad idea. 162 00:10:15,009 --> 00:10:17,648 Hey, what's another million, give or take? I get off... 163 00:10:17,809 --> 00:10:19,686 ...when and where I wanna get off. 164 00:10:21,729 --> 00:10:24,038 I'm stuck. Could you just pull it a little-? 165 00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:25,437 This'll just be a second. 166 00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,562 Don't- Don't start the train! 167 00:10:27,729 --> 00:10:28,923 Don't start the train! 168 00:10:29,409 --> 00:10:31,877 Here it is. Here it is, the four horse in the first race. 169 00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:34,119 - Pappernick. - How do you know he's gonna win? 170 00:10:34,289 --> 00:10:35,847 My UPS guy. Lance. 171 00:10:36,009 --> 00:10:38,239 The guys who own the horse are his regular customers. 172 00:10:38,409 --> 00:10:40,047 Every horse he's ever given me has won. 173 00:10:40,209 --> 00:10:41,961 - Yeah? - Yeah. They've been sandbagging... 174 00:10:42,129 --> 00:10:44,563 ...looking for a good spot. He's been getting in light... 175 00:10:44,729 --> 00:10:47,846 ...because they're using a bug boy. The workouts have been unpublished. 176 00:10:48,009 --> 00:10:50,284 They're ready to run with him. Gonna break his maiden. 177 00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:52,804 He's gonna go for a great price, maybe 30-1. 178 00:10:52,969 --> 00:10:55,403 - I'm telling you, it's a lock. - But it rained last night. 179 00:10:55,569 --> 00:10:57,958 Exactly. This horse loves the slop. 180 00:10:58,129 --> 00:11:00,484 It's in his bloodlines. His father was a mudder. 181 00:11:00,649 --> 00:11:02,799 - His mother was a mudder. - His mother was a mudder? 182 00:11:02,969 --> 00:11:05,767 What did I say? Let's go to the office. I'm gonna call my bookie. 183 00:11:05,929 --> 00:11:07,408 Hey, don't tell anybody. 184 00:11:11,569 --> 00:11:13,002 Oh, man. 185 00:11:31,409 --> 00:11:33,161 Okay. 186 00:11:44,009 --> 00:11:46,762 You realize, of course, you're naked. 187 00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:50,447 Naked, dressed, I don't see any difference. 188 00:11:50,889 --> 00:11:52,447 You ought to sit here. 189 00:11:52,609 --> 00:11:54,008 There's a difference. 190 00:11:54,369 --> 00:11:57,088 You got something against the naked body? 191 00:11:57,409 --> 00:11:59,559 I got something against yours. 192 00:11:59,769 --> 00:12:02,522 How about a couple of deep knee bends, maybe some squat-thrusts? 193 00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,680 Who's got time for squat-thrusts? 194 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,204 All right, how about skipping breakfast? 195 00:12:07,369 --> 00:12:10,122 I'm guessing you're not a "half-grapefruit and black coffee"man. 196 00:12:10,289 --> 00:12:11,563 I like a good breakfast. 197 00:12:11,729 --> 00:12:14,402 I understand. I like a good breakfast... 198 00:12:14,569 --> 00:12:17,800 ...long as you don't wind up trapped in a room in overalls and pigtails... 199 00:12:17,969 --> 00:12:19,721 ...being counselled by Dick Gregory. 200 00:12:20,289 --> 00:12:22,359 I'm not ashamed of my body. 201 00:12:22,529 --> 00:12:26,283 Exactly. That's your problem. You should be. 202 00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:28,483 Don't get up. 203 00:12:28,649 --> 00:12:30,765 Please, allow me. 204 00:12:35,089 --> 00:12:36,317 Oh, this is great. 205 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,445 This is what I need, just what I need. 206 00:12:39,249 --> 00:12:41,285 Okay, tak e it easy. I'm sure it's nothing. 207 00:12:41,449 --> 00:12:43,167 Probably rats on the track. 208 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:45,206 They're stopping for rats. 209 00:12:46,049 --> 00:12:47,562 God, it's so crowded. 210 00:12:47,729 --> 00:12:49,765 How could there be so many people? 211 00:12:50,449 --> 00:12:52,360 This guy realy smels. 212 00:12:52,529 --> 00:12:54,360 Doesn't anyone use deodorant in the city? 213 00:12:54,529 --> 00:12:57,089 What is so hard? You tak e the cap off, you rol it on. 214 00:12:57,249 --> 00:12:59,717 What's that? I feel something rubbing against me. 215 00:13:00,689 --> 00:13:03,442 These disgusting animals. These people should be in a cage. 216 00:13:03,609 --> 00:13:04,837 We are in a cage. 217 00:13:05,609 --> 00:13:06,758 What if I miss the wedding? 218 00:13:06,929 --> 00:13:08,282 I got the ring. What'l they do? 219 00:13:08,449 --> 00:13:10,838 You can't get married without a ring. Oh, God- 220 00:13:11,289 --> 00:13:13,007 I can't breathe. 221 00:13:13,169 --> 00:13:14,522 I feel faint. 222 00:13:14,689 --> 00:13:17,487 Okay, tak e it easy. It'l start moving soon. 223 00:13:17,649 --> 00:13:20,482 Think about people in concentration camps, what they went through. 224 00:13:20,649 --> 00:13:23,402 And the hostages! What would you do if you were a hostage? 225 00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:26,163 Think about that. This is nothing. 226 00:13:26,329 --> 00:13:28,843 No, it's not nothing, it's something. 227 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,569 It's a nightmare. Help me! 228 00:13:31,729 --> 00:13:34,482 Move it! Come on! Move this f****** thing! 229 00:13:34,649 --> 00:13:36,048 Why isn't it moving?! 230 00:13:36,209 --> 00:13:38,769 What could go wrong with a train? It's on tracks. 231 00:13:38,929 --> 00:13:41,887 There's no traffic. How could a train get stuck? 232 00:13:42,049 --> 00:13:43,721 Step on the gas! 233 00:13:43,889 --> 00:13:46,767 What could it be? You'd think the conductor would explain it to us. 234 00:13:46,929 --> 00:13:49,921 "I'm sorry, there's a delay. We'l be moving in five minutes." 235 00:13:50,089 --> 00:13:53,445 I wanna hear a v oice. What's that on my leg?! 236 00:14:03,649 --> 00:14:04,968 Nice. 237 00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:08,403 Your company sends you on the road often, huh? 238 00:14:09,209 --> 00:14:12,485 Nice. Oh, hey, nice ice bucket there. 239 00:14:13,129 --> 00:14:15,165 Make yourself comfortable. 240 00:14:16,329 --> 00:14:18,285 Mak e myself comfortable? What does that mean? 241 00:14:18,449 --> 00:14:21,486 Does she want me to tak e my clothes off? Is she taking her clothes off? 242 00:14:21,769 --> 00:14:23,885 What if I tak e mine off and she stil has hers on? 243 00:14:24,049 --> 00:14:26,438 I'd look lik e an idiot. She'd get offended and leave. 244 00:14:26,609 --> 00:14:28,361 So maybe I should leave them on. 245 00:14:28,529 --> 00:14:30,884 But what if she tak es hers off? She'l feel humiliated. 246 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,638 "Mak e yourself comfortable"? This woman's unbelievable. 247 00:14:33,809 --> 00:14:35,527 This "comfortable"thing could ruin me. 248 00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:38,726 I got it. I'l tak e my shoes off and sit on the bed. 249 00:14:38,889 --> 00:14:40,038 There. That's comfortable. 250 00:14:40,369 --> 00:14:42,758 She can't accuse me of being uncomfortable. 251 00:14:48,729 --> 00:14:50,560 I gotta tell you, I'm pretty comfortable. 252 00:14:52,009 --> 00:14:53,158 Oh, yeah, it's all set. 253 00:14:53,449 --> 00:14:55,360 - They've got the bug boy on it. - The bug boy? 254 00:14:55,529 --> 00:14:57,997 Yeah, the little fellow's been riding his heart out. 255 00:14:58,169 --> 00:15:00,125 - They're gonna break his maiden. - Really? 256 00:15:00,289 --> 00:15:01,688 - Yeah. - It's a little slow out. 257 00:15:01,849 --> 00:15:03,965 - Rained last night. - This baby loves the slop. 258 00:15:04,129 --> 00:15:07,087 Loves it. Eats it up. Eats the slop. Born to slop. 259 00:15:07,249 --> 00:15:08,443 His father was a mudder. 260 00:15:08,609 --> 00:15:10,918 - His father was a mudder. - His mother was a mudder. 261 00:15:11,089 --> 00:15:12,442 His mother was a mudder? 262 00:15:12,969 --> 00:15:14,118 What did I just say? 263 00:15:15,569 --> 00:15:17,127 Hey. All right. 264 00:15:17,289 --> 00:15:20,042 Six hundred, Pappernick to win. 265 00:15:21,729 --> 00:15:24,527 They still have no pitching. Gooden's a question mark. 266 00:15:24,689 --> 00:15:26,919 You don't recover from those rotator cuffs so fast. 267 00:15:27,089 --> 00:15:29,284 I'm not worried about the Mets' pitching. 268 00:15:29,449 --> 00:15:33,078 - They got no hitting. - No, they got hitting. Bonilla, Murray. 269 00:15:33,249 --> 00:15:35,479 - They got no defence. - Defence, please. 270 00:15:35,649 --> 00:15:38,322 - They need speed. - Speed? They've got Coleman. 271 00:15:38,489 --> 00:15:40,559 - They need a bullpen. - Franco's no good? 272 00:15:40,729 --> 00:15:43,004 - They got no team leaders. - They got Franco. 273 00:15:43,169 --> 00:15:44,682 What they need is a front office. 274 00:15:45,009 --> 00:15:47,204 - But you gotta like their chances. - I love them. 275 00:15:47,369 --> 00:15:50,759 If they win it this year, I'll sit naked with you at the World Series. 276 00:15:51,169 --> 00:15:52,921 It's a deal. 277 00:15:55,409 --> 00:15:57,081 Why couldn't I tak e a cab? 278 00:15:57,249 --> 00:16:00,286 For $6, my whole life could have changed. 279 00:16:00,849 --> 00:16:03,647 What is that on my leg? 280 00:16:04,529 --> 00:16:06,087 I'l never get out of here. 281 00:16:06,649 --> 00:16:09,209 What if I'm here for the rest of my life? 282 00:16:09,689 --> 00:16:11,884 Maybe I'l get out in five seconds. 283 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,485 One banana, two banana... 284 00:16:14,649 --> 00:16:16,844 ...three banana, four banana... 285 00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:18,522 ...five banana. 286 00:16:18,889 --> 00:16:21,801 No. I'm stil here. 287 00:16:22,289 --> 00:16:25,406 Stil here. When wil they start moving? 288 00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:26,922 Move! 289 00:16:27,089 --> 00:16:29,649 Move! Move! 290 00:16:30,769 --> 00:16:32,248 It's moving. 291 00:16:32,609 --> 00:16:34,247 It's moving! 292 00:16:34,769 --> 00:16:36,282 Yes! 293 00:16:36,569 --> 00:16:37,797 Yes. 294 00:16:39,769 --> 00:16:41,361 Mother******! 295 00:16:47,849 --> 00:16:50,124 Gee, I hope you have the key for these things. 296 00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:53,243 Oh, don't worry, I do. 297 00:16:53,649 --> 00:16:55,560 My mother used to walk around our apartment... 298 00:16:55,729 --> 00:16:56,957 ...in her bra and panties. 299 00:16:57,649 --> 00:17:00,766 She didn't look anything like you. She was... 300 00:17:00,929 --> 00:17:04,126 ...really disgusting, really bad body. 301 00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:09,001 You know, if you can imagine an uglier, fatter version of Shirley Booth. 302 00:17:09,249 --> 00:17:11,205 Remember Shirley Booth in Hazel? 303 00:17:11,689 --> 00:17:13,919 Really embarrassing, because I had the only mother... 304 00:17:14,089 --> 00:17:16,125 ...in the neighbourhood who was worse than Hazel. 305 00:17:16,289 --> 00:17:19,281 - You can imagine the taunts I'd hear. - Like what? 306 00:17:19,449 --> 00:17:20,848 Like: 307 00:17:21,169 --> 00:17:23,683 "Hey, your mother's uglier than Hazel." 308 00:17:24,049 --> 00:17:26,643 "Hazel really puts your mother to shame."You know. 309 00:17:34,529 --> 00:17:35,723 What's going on? 310 00:17:36,049 --> 00:17:39,086 It was a pleasure doing business with you, but I have to get going. 311 00:17:39,569 --> 00:17:42,606 Get going? But we haven't really, you know... 312 00:17:42,849 --> 00:17:44,248 Eight dollars? 313 00:17:44,409 --> 00:17:46,525 - Eight dollars? - What are you doing, robbing me? 314 00:17:46,689 --> 00:17:48,839 I wasted my whole morning on you for $8? 315 00:17:50,129 --> 00:17:51,562 Wait a second. What are you doing? 316 00:17:51,889 --> 00:17:54,278 - I'm taking your clothes. - No, no, that's my only suit! 317 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:57,247 It cost me $350! I got it at Moe Ginsburg! 318 00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:59,969 - Bye, George. - You can't just leave me here. 319 00:18:00,689 --> 00:18:02,884 Will I see you again? 320 00:18:09,169 --> 00:18:11,239 It's Hoy's Boy folowed by Jamet... 321 00:18:11,409 --> 00:18:14,207 ...Little Baggit, Kiss Harmony and then a long way to Flagrant. 322 00:18:14,369 --> 00:18:17,088 - Come on! - Into the stretch... 323 00:18:17,249 --> 00:18:20,366 ...with an 1l8th of a mile to go, Stepagain, Passionel battling it out. 324 00:18:20,529 --> 00:18:23,168 Clear from Jamet, Pappernick's starting to mak e some ground... 325 00:18:23,329 --> 00:18:26,685 - ... but Stepagain is the leader... - Come on. 326 00:18:26,849 --> 00:18:30,000 - Come on! Yes! - Look at Pappernick, sprouting wings. 327 00:18:30,169 --> 00:18:32,399 - Yes! Yes! - Stepagain, just faling back. 328 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,685 - Yes! - Pappernick flashing home. 329 00:18:34,849 --> 00:18:38,285 Stepagain, Pappernick, Pappernick and Stepagain to the line... 330 00:18:38,689 --> 00:18:42,079 - Yes! Yes! Yes! - The winner is Pappernick. 331 00:18:42,249 --> 00:18:45,241 Yes, yes! I won. Hey! 332 00:18:52,169 --> 00:18:53,318 Yeah. 333 00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:31,244 I haven't had a hot dog at Nathan's in 20 years. 334 00:19:31,409 --> 00:19:32,762 First, we ride the Cyclone. 335 00:19:34,369 --> 00:19:35,848 Chilly out. 336 00:19:39,889 --> 00:19:41,288 French fries. 337 00:19:47,889 --> 00:19:49,083 Hey, hey! 338 00:19:50,529 --> 00:19:52,679 Give me the money. 339 00:19:52,849 --> 00:19:54,680 Freeze! Police! 340 00:20:00,769 --> 00:20:02,919 No, I never got the car. We had such a good time... 341 00:20:03,089 --> 00:20:05,967 ...by the time I got to the police garage, it was closed. 342 00:20:06,969 --> 00:20:08,163 Too bad. 343 00:20:08,369 --> 00:20:11,327 You wouldn't believe what this guy put away at Nathan's. 344 00:20:11,489 --> 00:20:13,639 Look at what we won. You want him? 345 00:20:13,809 --> 00:20:15,162 Get that out of my face. 346 00:20:15,609 --> 00:20:19,318 So you missed the wedding. You'll catch the bris. 347 00:20:26,169 --> 00:20:28,967 Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna! 348 00:20:29,449 --> 00:20:32,441 How'd you like a Hare Krishna fist down your throat, you little punk? 349 00:20:34,129 --> 00:20:35,562 George. 350 00:20:35,729 --> 00:20:36,923 Biff. 351 00:20:37,489 --> 00:20:39,798 What, did you whistle on the elevator? 352 00:20:40,009 --> 00:20:41,965 I have my spare key in your apartment, right? 353 00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:43,723 Yeah, in the kitchen drawer. 354 00:20:43,889 --> 00:20:45,527 - Give me your key. - What happened? 355 00:20:45,689 --> 00:20:48,840 Never mind what happened, just give me the key. 356 00:20:49,009 --> 00:20:52,046 - Come on, I'll go with you. - Here. Pay. 357 00:20:53,489 --> 00:20:55,241 Wait, wait. Give me that. 358 00:21:01,609 --> 00:21:03,122 All right. 359 00:21:04,729 --> 00:21:07,801 So I take the subway down to Coney Island... 360 00:21:07,969 --> 00:21:10,119 ...to go on the Cyclone. I'm riding on the subway. 361 00:21:10,289 --> 00:21:13,326 I'm sitting on the D train for an hour and 15 minutes... 362 00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:15,957 ...to go on a scary ride. 363 00:21:16,209 --> 00:21:18,200 Okay, how dumb is that? 364 00:21:18,449 --> 00:21:21,521 You know that first sharp drop on the Cyclone? Fell asleep. 365 00:22:07,729 --> 00:22:09,720 Subtitles by SDl Media Group