1
00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:05,765
Women put on perfume
in an interesting way.

2
00:00:05,934 --> 00:00:07,128
Ever notice that, guys?

3
00:00:07,294 --> 00:00:11,446
They have their little key,
Stratego little areas.

4
00:00:15,774 --> 00:00:19,130
Places they think we're going.

5
00:00:21,534 --> 00:00:22,967
And they always hit this one.

6
00:00:23,134 --> 00:00:24,487
Women are convinced...

7
00:00:24,654 --> 00:00:29,808
...that this is the most action-packed
area that could ever happen...

8
00:00:29,974 --> 00:00:31,930
...in the dating world.

9
00:00:32,134 --> 00:00:34,045
What is that, ladies?
What is happening here?

10
00:00:34,214 --> 00:00:36,853
Is that in case you slap the guy
or something?

11
00:00:37,014 --> 00:00:38,970
He still finds you intriguing?

12
00:00:39,294 --> 00:00:42,013
"Oh, Chanel!"

13
00:00:46,974 --> 00:00:49,932
She's a pianist, a classical pianist!
She plays the piano!

14
00:00:50,094 --> 00:00:51,607
She's a brilliant woman!

15
00:00:51,774 --> 00:00:54,925
I sat in her living room,
she played the Waldstein Sonata.

16
00:00:55,094 --> 00:00:56,891
The Waldstein!

17
00:01:00,534 --> 00:01:03,412
We did a crossword puzzle
together in bed.

18
00:01:03,574 --> 00:01:05,610
It was the most fun I ever
had in my entire life!

19
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,413
Do you hear me? In my life!

20
00:01:09,054 --> 00:01:10,612
You know?

21
00:01:10,774 --> 00:01:13,129
Were you talking?
I couldn't hear anything.

22
00:01:15,414 --> 00:01:16,688
I was telling you about Noel.

23
00:01:16,854 --> 00:01:19,414
Oh, Noel, yeah.
The one that plays the bongos.

24
00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:22,006
So sidesplittingly funny.

25
00:01:22,974 --> 00:01:25,283
All right, I'm sorry. What about her?

26
00:01:25,454 --> 00:01:27,251
You think I'm gonna repeat
the whole thing?

27
00:01:27,414 --> 00:01:29,689
You told me you like her.
Everything's going good.

28
00:01:29,854 --> 00:01:31,412
No, everything's not going good.

29
00:01:31,574 --> 00:01:34,168
I'm very uncomfortable.
I have no power.

30
00:01:34,334 --> 00:01:35,767
Why should she have
the upper hand?

31
00:01:35,934 --> 00:01:38,846
For once, I'd like the upper hand.
I have no hand, no hand at all.

32
00:01:39,014 --> 00:01:40,732
She has the hand. I have no hand.

33
00:01:41,054 --> 00:01:43,284
- Hand me that, would you?
- Yeah.

34
00:01:43,454 --> 00:01:44,682
How do I get the hand?

35
00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,368
We all want the hand.
Hand is tough to get.

36
00:01:47,534 --> 00:01:49,490
You gotta get the hand
right from the opening.

37
00:01:49,654 --> 00:01:52,691
She's playing a recital at
the McBierny School.

38
00:01:52,854 --> 00:01:55,209
I got two extra tickets.
You and Elaine could go.

39
00:01:55,374 --> 00:01:57,763
Yeah, that sounds like something.

40
00:02:00,334 --> 00:02:02,802
Then afterwards, maybe we could all
go out together.

41
00:02:02,974 --> 00:02:04,612
You know, she'll see me
with my friends.

42
00:02:04,774 --> 00:02:07,083
She'll observe me
as I really am, as myself.

43
00:02:07,254 --> 00:02:09,688
Maybe I can get some hand that way.

44
00:02:11,094 --> 00:02:12,527
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.

45
00:02:12,694 --> 00:02:14,332
Hey, smell my arm.

46
00:02:16,054 --> 00:02:17,203
- What?
- Smell it. Smell it.

47
00:02:17,374 --> 00:02:19,604
With all due respect,
I don't think so.

48
00:02:19,774 --> 00:02:22,732
- Jerry, smell.
- That smells good. What is that?

49
00:02:22,894 --> 00:02:24,964
- The beach.
- The beach?

50
00:02:25,134 --> 00:02:26,647
Did you go swimming?
It's 29 degrees.

51
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,374
No, I just joined the Polar Bear Club.

52
00:02:29,534 --> 00:02:32,002
- You joined the Polar Bears?
- What the hell's a Polar Bear?

53
00:02:32,174 --> 00:02:34,813
These people go swimming
in the winter. They're terrific.

54
00:02:34,974 --> 00:02:37,488
I just took my first swim today.

55
00:02:38,054 --> 00:02:39,692
- It's invigorating.
- Yeah...

56
00:02:39,854 --> 00:02:42,004
...so is shock therapy.

57
00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:45,169
- What is that, a PEZ dispenser?
- Yeah. You want one?

58
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:48,884
I just bought it at the flea market.
You want one?

59
00:02:49,054 --> 00:02:51,522
Hey, what goes on there, exactly?

60
00:02:51,694 --> 00:02:52,922
You don't know?

61
00:02:53,094 --> 00:02:55,483
No, I know. I know.

62
00:02:56,014 --> 00:02:58,608
You think they have fleas there,
don't you?

63
00:02:59,254 --> 00:03:01,370
- No.
- Yes, you do, Biff.

64
00:03:04,374 --> 00:03:06,763
You've never been,
and you think they have fleas there.

65
00:03:06,934 --> 00:03:09,368
All right, I think they have
fleas there. So what?

66
00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:11,252
- Here, you want this?
- You don't want it?

67
00:03:11,414 --> 00:03:14,645
- No, I bought five of them.
- Wow, great. Thanks.

68
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:21,607
I don't know how anyone does this.
This must be so nerve-racking.

69
00:03:21,774 --> 00:03:23,287
How do they warm up their fingers?

70
00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,604
They have a piano backstage
they warm up on.

71
00:03:25,774 --> 00:03:27,253
No. We would have heard it.

72
00:03:27,414 --> 00:03:29,848
You think they just crack
their knuckles and come out?

73
00:03:30,014 --> 00:03:32,403
- I told her we'd go out afterwards.
- Sure.

74
00:03:32,574 --> 00:03:36,089
Don't applaud when she stops playing
the first time. It's not over yet.

75
00:03:36,254 --> 00:03:39,087
I really resent that.
That's directed at me, isn't it?

76
00:03:42,974 --> 00:03:45,204
Is this okay? Can I do this?

77
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:49,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org

78
00:04:58,934 --> 00:05:00,253
Oh, God.

79
00:05:00,414 --> 00:05:02,166
Something I said?

80
00:05:04,014 --> 00:05:05,606
It's John Mollica.

81
00:05:06,174 --> 00:05:09,769
Oh. Oh, John. Oh, hi, John.

82
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,243
- Hi.
- What are you doing out here?

83
00:05:12,414 --> 00:05:14,484
I was just at this recital...

84
00:05:14,654 --> 00:05:18,010
...and Jerry put this PEZ dispenser
on my leg...

85
00:05:18,174 --> 00:05:20,847
...and I just started laughing.

86
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,053
- Jerry's in there?
- Yeah.

87
00:05:23,214 --> 00:05:26,445
- I heard you guys broke up.
- We did. We're just hanging out.

88
00:05:26,614 --> 00:05:28,491
Really? Boy...

89
00:05:28,654 --> 00:05:32,363
...you really look great.

90
00:05:32,534 --> 00:05:34,923
Oh, thank you.

91
00:05:43,774 --> 00:05:46,607
Hey, are you still friends
with Richie Appel?

92
00:05:46,774 --> 00:05:49,527
Oh, Richie? He's been doing comedy
in L.A. for a couple of years.

93
00:05:49,694 --> 00:05:51,446
He just got back a month ago.

94
00:05:51,614 --> 00:05:54,333
He's kind of messed up on drugs.

95
00:05:55,734 --> 00:05:56,962
I don't know what to do.

96
00:05:57,134 --> 00:05:58,931
Have you thought
about an intervention?

97
00:05:59,094 --> 00:06:02,086
- What's that?
- You get all his friends in a room...

98
00:06:02,254 --> 00:06:04,563
...and they confront him
to try to get him into rehab.

99
00:06:04,734 --> 00:06:06,611
It's a very popular thing now.

100
00:06:06,774 --> 00:06:09,208
Well, he'd never listen to anyone.

101
00:06:10,934 --> 00:06:13,243
Except, of course, Jerry.

102
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:15,564
He'd listen to Jerry.

103
00:06:15,734 --> 00:06:19,283
Jerry would have to be involved.

104
00:06:19,454 --> 00:06:23,242
He really respects Jerry.

105
00:06:29,814 --> 00:06:32,487
I'm sorry, George. I'm sorry.

106
00:06:32,854 --> 00:06:35,288
What did you put the PEZ dispenser
on her leg for?

107
00:06:35,454 --> 00:06:38,924
- I don't know. It was an impulse.
- What kind of a sick impulse is that?

108
00:06:40,454 --> 00:06:42,285
How could I know she'd start to laugh?

109
00:06:42,454 --> 00:06:45,127
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am.

110
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:48,244
- Could we go in already?
- What are we gonna tell her?

111
00:06:48,414 --> 00:06:51,486
- I'll tell her I was the one who laughed.
- No, don't say a word.

112
00:06:51,654 --> 00:06:55,090
If she thinks my friends are jerks,
then I'm a jerk.

113
00:06:55,694 --> 00:06:57,525
Remind me to talk to you
about something.

114
00:06:57,694 --> 00:07:00,049
- What about?
- Hey, we're discussing something.

115
00:07:00,214 --> 00:07:02,170
I know, but I'm distracted now.

116
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:03,892
What are you, a baby?

117
00:07:04,254 --> 00:07:05,573
All right, tell him.

118
00:07:05,734 --> 00:07:08,373
When I was outside,
I ran into John Mollica.

119
00:07:08,534 --> 00:07:10,013
- Really? John Mollica?
- Yeah.

120
00:07:10,174 --> 00:07:12,404
The guy that used to bartend
at the comedy club.

121
00:07:12,574 --> 00:07:14,007
- How's he doing?
- He's good.

122
00:07:14,174 --> 00:07:15,607
Could we cut to the chase?

123
00:07:16,134 --> 00:07:17,647
"Cut to the chase"?

124
00:07:18,974 --> 00:07:21,329
- Yeah.
- What are you, Joe Hollywood?

125
00:07:22,694 --> 00:07:23,922
A lot of people say it.

126
00:07:24,294 --> 00:07:25,488
I would lose that.

127
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,451
What's that?

128
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,764
"Lose that"? That's not
a Hollywood expression.

129
00:07:30,254 --> 00:07:32,085
Yes, it is.

130
00:07:32,894 --> 00:07:34,964
Anyway...

131
00:07:35,134 --> 00:07:38,046
So John told me that Richie
is in town from Los Angeles...

132
00:07:38,214 --> 00:07:40,011
...and he's really
messed up on drugs.

133
00:07:40,174 --> 00:07:42,165
So I told him
he should do an intervention.

134
00:07:42,334 --> 00:07:45,292
- Really? An intervention?
- We got a situation over here!

135
00:07:45,614 --> 00:07:48,492
- But he wants you to be a part of it.
- Why me?

136
00:07:48,654 --> 00:07:51,930
He says Richie really respects you,
and he would listen to you.

137
00:07:52,094 --> 00:07:54,972
These things are really hard to load.

138
00:07:58,494 --> 00:08:01,725
All right, okay. All right, I'm going in.

139
00:08:01,894 --> 00:08:05,011
- We got to talk about this.
- All right.

140
00:08:08,694 --> 00:08:11,572
Hi. Hi. Hi.

141
00:08:11,734 --> 00:08:14,692
- You were wonderful. Wonderful.
- No, no.

142
00:08:14,854 --> 00:08:17,129
These are my friends,
Elaine and Jerry. Noel.

143
00:08:17,294 --> 00:08:18,773
You play a hell of a piano.

144
00:08:20,054 --> 00:08:22,932
Yeah, I was really moved.
Really moved.

145
00:08:23,094 --> 00:08:25,403
Didn't you hear that person laughing?

146
00:08:25,574 --> 00:08:28,372
I couldn't play. I was humiliated!

147
00:08:28,534 --> 00:08:30,331
I'm sure it wasn't at you.

148
00:08:30,494 --> 00:08:32,212
Well, then what was she laughing at?

149
00:08:32,374 --> 00:08:35,764
- PEZ?
- No, thank you.

150
00:08:36,334 --> 00:08:38,006
Did you see her?

151
00:08:38,174 --> 00:08:39,892
Me? No, I...

152
00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:41,692
Anyone who would laugh
at a recital...

153
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,970
...is probably some sort
of lunatic, anyway.

154
00:08:44,134 --> 00:08:49,254
I mean, only a sick, twisted mind
could be that rude and ignorant.

155
00:08:49,414 --> 00:08:52,451
Well, you know, maybe some
mental defective...

156
00:08:52,614 --> 00:08:55,572
...put something stupid on her leg.

157
00:08:55,934 --> 00:09:00,883
Even if this so-called mental defective
did put something on her leg...

158
00:09:01,054 --> 00:09:02,646
...she's still the one who laughed.

159
00:09:03,454 --> 00:09:07,925
I'll never forget that laugh
for the rest of my life.

160
00:09:08,894 --> 00:09:12,773
I'm sure she would apologize
if she could.

161
00:09:13,374 --> 00:09:15,410
Probably someone
is holding her back...

162
00:09:15,574 --> 00:09:18,168
...maybe against
every fibre of her being.

163
00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:21,849
If she wants to continue to have a fibre
of her being, she'll be very careful.

164
00:09:22,014 --> 00:09:23,925
- Don't hit me.
- Stop it.

165
00:09:25,454 --> 00:09:27,012
All right. So you ready?

166
00:09:27,174 --> 00:09:29,813
We'll go out,
and we'll have a bite to eat.

167
00:09:30,294 --> 00:09:33,172
I don't feel like it tonight.

168
00:09:33,494 --> 00:09:35,212
- We'll be outside.
- Yeah.

169
00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:36,568
It was nice meeting you.

170
00:09:37,534 --> 00:09:41,004
By the way, how do you warm up
your fingers before you play?

171
00:09:41,174 --> 00:09:43,369
I just crack my knuckles.

172
00:09:43,934 --> 00:09:45,970
Come on, we'll have a good time.

173
00:09:46,134 --> 00:09:48,329
- Well, I'm really not in the mood.
- Come on...

174
00:09:48,494 --> 00:09:52,089
I said, I don't feel like it.

175
00:09:55,734 --> 00:09:58,487
All right...

176
00:09:58,654 --> 00:10:00,610
I'll... I'll call you.

177
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:04,403
I'll call you,
and we'll talk on the phone.

178
00:10:04,574 --> 00:10:07,930
Have a telephone communiqué.

179
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,924
So, fine. Everything's fine.
Everything good?

180
00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:14,325
Good. I feel good. Fine.
That's fine. That's good.

181
00:10:14,494 --> 00:10:16,644
Okay. Okey-doke.

182
00:10:21,814 --> 00:10:24,647
You know, I think Kramer might
have been indirectly responsible...

183
00:10:24,814 --> 00:10:26,486
...for getting Richie
involved in drugs.

184
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:28,447
What? How?

185
00:10:28,614 --> 00:10:30,969
A few years ago, the comedy club
had a softball team.

186
00:10:31,134 --> 00:10:32,772
Kramer was our first baseman.

187
00:10:32,934 --> 00:10:35,448
You couldn't get anything by him.
He was unbelievable.

188
00:10:35,614 --> 00:10:40,369
Anyway, this one game, we came back
to win from, like, eight runs behind.

189
00:10:40,534 --> 00:10:42,126
So Kramer says to Richie:

190
00:10:42,294 --> 00:10:45,525
"Why don't you dump the bucket
of Gatorade on Marty Benson's head?"

191
00:10:45,774 --> 00:10:47,605
- The club owner.
- Yeah.

192
00:10:47,774 --> 00:10:50,447
So Richie goes ahead and does it.

193
00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:52,806
- So? What happened?
- What happened?

194
00:10:52,974 --> 00:10:55,204
The guy was, like, 67 years old.
It was freezing out.

195
00:10:55,374 --> 00:10:57,683
He caught a cold, developed
pneumonia, a month later...

196
00:10:57,854 --> 00:11:01,369
...he was dead.
- Shut up.

197
00:11:02,214 --> 00:11:03,932
All the comedians were happy...

198
00:11:04,094 --> 00:11:06,403
...because he's one of these
club owners nobody liked.

199
00:11:06,574 --> 00:11:08,326
But Richie was never the same.

200
00:11:08,494 --> 00:11:11,247
- What about Kramer?
- He's the same.

201
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,647
Are you sure you want me, John?

202
00:11:14,814 --> 00:11:17,612
I mean, I haven't spoken
to Richie in two years.

203
00:11:17,774 --> 00:11:20,811
I don't have a good apartment
for an intervention.

204
00:11:20,974 --> 00:11:24,489
The furniture,
it's very nonconfrontational.

205
00:11:24,654 --> 00:11:27,771
All right, all right. Goodbye.

206
00:11:27,934 --> 00:11:29,367
Remember Richie Appel?

207
00:11:29,694 --> 00:11:33,846
Oh, sure. The guy I told to pour the
Gatorade that killed Marty Benson?

208
00:11:36,574 --> 00:11:39,486
Right. John Mollica is organizing
some kind of intervention for him.

209
00:11:39,654 --> 00:11:40,973
We're having it here.

210
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:43,531
Can I get in on that?

211
00:11:44,014 --> 00:11:46,574
What do you think,
it's like a poker game?

212
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,567
- Is Elaine going?
- Yeah.

213
00:11:48,734 --> 00:11:50,486
Well, I knew him as well as she did.

214
00:11:50,654 --> 00:11:52,007
Yeah, but John invited her.

215
00:11:52,174 --> 00:11:54,324
So wait, you don't want me
to intervene?

216
00:11:54,494 --> 00:11:57,133
No, intervene, go ahead.
Intervene all you want.

217
00:11:57,294 --> 00:12:00,491
I'm just afraid you might be interfering
while we're intervening.

218
00:12:04,174 --> 00:12:05,493
- Yeah?
- It's George.

219
00:12:05,654 --> 00:12:06,803
Come on up.

220
00:12:06,974 --> 00:12:09,966
Stop smelling your arm!

221
00:12:10,454 --> 00:12:12,251
You know, I got a great idea
for a cologne.

222
00:12:12,414 --> 00:12:13,847
It's called "The Beach."

223
00:12:14,014 --> 00:12:17,131
You spray it on, and it's just like
you came home from the beach.

224
00:12:17,294 --> 00:12:19,683
A cologne that smells
like the beach.

225
00:12:19,854 --> 00:12:24,370
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but that's not a bad idea.

226
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:26,967
Tell me about it.

227
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,767
Why don't you call Steve D'Giff?

228
00:12:28,934 --> 00:12:31,289
He works in the marketing department
at Calvin Klein.

229
00:12:31,454 --> 00:12:35,003
In fact, he's a good friend
of John Mollica and Richie, also.

230
00:12:35,174 --> 00:12:36,687
Okay.

231
00:12:37,734 --> 00:12:39,929
Well, it's over. It's definitely over.

232
00:12:40,414 --> 00:12:42,484
- She broke up with you?
- No, but she's going to.

233
00:12:42,654 --> 00:12:46,010
I can sense it. We had this
terrible phone conversation.

234
00:12:46,174 --> 00:12:49,325
I was so nervous before I called,
I made a list of things to talk about.

235
00:12:49,494 --> 00:12:51,246
What was on the list?

236
00:12:51,414 --> 00:12:53,166
Let's see.

237
00:12:53,854 --> 00:12:56,243
"I'm very good
at going in reverse in my car.

238
00:12:59,254 --> 00:13:01,449
Why isn't Postum
a more popular drink?"

239
00:13:04,734 --> 00:13:07,771
Yeah, Postum is underrated.

240
00:13:07,934 --> 00:13:09,731
Anyway, there was all this tension.

241
00:13:09,894 --> 00:13:11,930
I asked her if she wanted
to go out to dinner...

242
00:13:12,094 --> 00:13:14,210
...and she said,
"No, maybe we could have lunch."

243
00:13:14,374 --> 00:13:16,569
- You know what that means.
- What's wrong with lunch?

244
00:13:16,734 --> 00:13:19,248
Lunch is fine at the beginning,
then you move on to dinner.

245
00:13:19,414 --> 00:13:22,326
You don't go back to lunch.
It's like being demoted.

246
00:13:22,654 --> 00:13:25,168
I'll never do a crossword puzzle
with her again, I know it.

247
00:13:25,534 --> 00:13:28,367
I like the jumble.
You ever do the jumble?

248
00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:30,213
I have no power, you understand?

249
00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:32,569
I need hand! I have no hand!

250
00:13:32,734 --> 00:13:34,804
- Why don't you break up with her.
- What?

251
00:13:34,974 --> 00:13:37,283
Break up with her.
You reverse everything that way.

252
00:13:37,854 --> 00:13:40,209
A preemptive breakup.

253
00:13:41,934 --> 00:13:44,402
A preemptive breakup.

254
00:13:44,734 --> 00:13:47,567
- This is an incredible idea.
- Yeah.

255
00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:51,690
I got nothing to lose.

256
00:13:51,854 --> 00:13:53,890
We either break up,
which she would do anyway...

257
00:13:54,054 --> 00:13:55,772
...but I go out with some dignity...

258
00:13:55,934 --> 00:13:58,164
...or I completely turn the tables!

259
00:13:58,574 --> 00:14:01,168
This is absolutely brilliant!

260
00:14:01,334 --> 00:14:04,292
So I'm afraid I...

261
00:14:04,454 --> 00:14:06,604
...am gonna have to
break up with you.

262
00:14:09,094 --> 00:14:11,449
- You're breaking up with me?
- Yes.

263
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,731
I...

264
00:14:14,734 --> 00:14:16,087
...am breaking up with you.

265
00:14:17,654 --> 00:14:19,133
- Wow.
- Shocked?

266
00:14:19,294 --> 00:14:22,331
- I really am.
- Never expected this, did you?

267
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:26,328
- I thought everything was fine.
- Well, live and learn.

268
00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:31,168
Well, I don't understand.
You didn't enjoy being with me?

269
00:14:31,334 --> 00:14:33,370
Didn't we have fun
doing the crossword puzzle?

270
00:14:33,894 --> 00:14:35,122
Kind of.

271
00:14:35,894 --> 00:14:38,886
- I'm very confused.
- Well, I didn't mean to hurt you, kid.

272
00:14:40,414 --> 00:14:42,484
- I thought...
- Now, stop it, please.

273
00:14:42,654 --> 00:14:46,010
What do you want?
I know I can make you happy.

274
00:14:49,214 --> 00:14:51,774
When you're playing the piano...

275
00:14:52,414 --> 00:14:54,086
...do you think about me?

276
00:14:54,254 --> 00:14:56,563
- I don't know.
- This is what I'm talking about.

277
00:14:56,734 --> 00:14:59,453
Okay, I'll think about you.

278
00:14:59,614 --> 00:15:01,047
- All the time?
- All the time?

279
00:15:01,214 --> 00:15:04,172
- You know...
- Okay, all the time.

280
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:07,531
- I can't hear you.
- All the time!

281
00:15:07,854 --> 00:15:10,448
See? It's not so hard.

282
00:15:11,454 --> 00:15:14,890
Go ahead. Smell. Smell it.

283
00:15:16,054 --> 00:15:17,692
- Yeah? So?
- Now, you recognize it?

284
00:15:18,054 --> 00:15:19,282
I don't know.

285
00:15:19,694 --> 00:15:21,525
The beach.

286
00:15:22,334 --> 00:15:25,531
- What are you talking about?
- Oh, I'm talking about the beach.

287
00:15:26,254 --> 00:15:28,165
What about it?

288
00:15:28,334 --> 00:15:30,131
You know the way you smell...

289
00:15:30,294 --> 00:15:34,287
...when you first come home
from the beach?

290
00:15:34,454 --> 00:15:38,129
Well, I want to make
a cologne that captures...

291
00:15:38,294 --> 00:15:41,013
...the essence of that smell.

292
00:15:41,454 --> 00:15:43,046
Oh, yeah.

293
00:15:43,214 --> 00:15:45,364
That is the dumbest idea
I've ever heard.

294
00:15:45,534 --> 00:15:48,844
Whoa, wait a minute. You...

295
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:50,811
Did you hear what I just said?

296
00:15:51,374 --> 00:15:54,172
You think people
are gonna pay $80 a bottle...

297
00:15:54,334 --> 00:15:56,529
...to smell like dead fish
and seaweed?

298
00:15:57,654 --> 00:16:00,566
That's why people take showers
when they come home from the beach.

299
00:16:00,734 --> 00:16:04,568
It's an objectionable, offensive odour.

300
00:16:05,374 --> 00:16:08,332
So you don't think
that it's a good idea?

301
00:16:12,294 --> 00:16:15,206
The membranes get dry,
and it just starts bleeding.

302
00:16:16,414 --> 00:16:20,726
Since I was a kid, so I have to
stick a tissue up there.

303
00:16:22,814 --> 00:16:24,566
You have to work like that?

304
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:27,089
Yeah. Nobody minds.

305
00:16:27,574 --> 00:16:30,247
Nobody's ever said anything to me.

306
00:16:30,654 --> 00:16:32,804
- There any ice cubes?
- Whatever's in the freezer.

307
00:16:32,974 --> 00:16:34,726
I looked. I don't see any ice cubes.

308
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,691
Well, then I guess
there's no ice cubes.

309
00:16:36,854 --> 00:16:39,971
I can't drink this. It's warm.

310
00:16:43,894 --> 00:16:45,612
John, shouldn't we rehearse this...

311
00:16:45,774 --> 00:16:47,685
...before Richie comes?
What's the plan?

312
00:16:47,854 --> 00:16:49,367
Do I have to talk?
I don't want to.

313
00:16:49,534 --> 00:16:51,445
If he's not gonna talk,
then I don't want to.

314
00:16:51,614 --> 00:16:54,174
- No, we all have to talk!
- What's the order?

315
00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:56,165
Alphabetical order.
You're first, Roberta.

316
00:16:56,334 --> 00:16:58,325
- Why am I first?
- Albano's your last name.

317
00:16:58,494 --> 00:17:00,724
- Not anymore. I'm divorced.
- I'll go first.

318
00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:02,486
- Oh, hey!
- Hey.

319
00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:04,531
- Is this the interference?
- Intervention.

320
00:17:04,694 --> 00:17:07,686
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, is it all right if I stay?

321
00:17:07,854 --> 00:17:10,493
He can't stay.
This is for close friends only.

322
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:11,848
Hey, I'm a friend.

323
00:17:12,014 --> 00:17:14,733
Who told him to pour the Gatorade
over Marty Benson's head?

324
00:17:14,894 --> 00:17:16,725
- Oh, let him stay.
- Yeah.

325
00:17:17,854 --> 00:17:20,414
Hey, I got somebody to make up
that cologne for me, bigmouth.

326
00:17:20,574 --> 00:17:22,485
Somebody's going to make that crap?

327
00:17:22,654 --> 00:17:25,373
- Kramer!
- Hey, you guys! All right!

328
00:17:25,534 --> 00:17:27,923
Come on in. These are some
of my Polar Bear buddies.

329
00:17:28,094 --> 00:17:30,562
- They can't stay.
- You're having a party here?

330
00:17:30,734 --> 00:17:32,247
No, we're having an intervention.

331
00:17:32,414 --> 00:17:35,451
An intervention? Who's intervening?

332
00:17:35,614 --> 00:17:38,174
He's a friend of ours on drugs,
and we're gonna confront him.

333
00:17:38,334 --> 00:17:40,086
Sure. We used to do that...

334
00:17:40,254 --> 00:17:43,451
...when one of our Polar Bears stopped
coming. We'd go to his house:

335
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:45,844
"What, you don't want to be
a Polar Bear anymore?

336
00:17:46,014 --> 00:17:49,370
- It's too cold for you?"
- It's him!

337
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:51,923
- What do we do?
- Hide!

338
00:17:52,174 --> 00:17:55,450
It's not a surprise party!

339
00:17:55,614 --> 00:17:56,808
- Yeah?
- It's George.

340
00:17:56,974 --> 00:17:58,805
Come on up.

341
00:17:58,974 --> 00:18:01,044
It's not him.

342
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:04,331
You don't wanna go out with me
because I'm a bartender, right?

343
00:18:04,494 --> 00:18:09,363
Look, you know, I don't really think
that this is appropriate right now.

344
00:18:09,534 --> 00:18:12,002
Is it because I have a tissue
in my nose?

345
00:18:12,614 --> 00:18:15,412
- You're getting warm.
- Hey, we just...

346
00:18:15,574 --> 00:18:17,849
We just came from Chadway's.
What's going on?

347
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,766
The intervention.
We're waiting for Richie.

348
00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:23,927
Right, the intervention.
Should we leave?

349
00:18:24,094 --> 00:18:26,403
- Well...
- Elaine, hi.

350
00:18:26,574 --> 00:18:28,087
Hi, Noel.

351
00:18:28,254 --> 00:18:30,006
Well, you're looking well.

352
00:18:30,174 --> 00:18:31,892
Jerry, let me tell you something.

353
00:18:32,054 --> 00:18:35,444
A man without hand is not a man.

354
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:38,572
I've got so much hand,
I'm coming out of my gloves.

355
00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:39,928
I gotta thank Kramer.

356
00:18:40,094 --> 00:18:41,925
Even if I were dragged
through manure...

357
00:18:42,094 --> 00:18:43,766
...I still wouldn't put that stuff on.

358
00:18:43,934 --> 00:18:47,131
This man is a genius! A genius!

359
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,410
- You think so?
- I don't think so, I know so.

360
00:18:49,574 --> 00:18:50,973
Come here. I gotta talk to you.

361
00:18:51,134 --> 00:18:53,773
The male kangaroo
doesn't have a pouch.

362
00:18:53,934 --> 00:18:55,970
Only the female has it...

363
00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:59,410
...so the male has pouch envy!

364
00:19:00,734 --> 00:19:05,046
"Why should she have
this huge pouch and I have nothing?

365
00:19:05,214 --> 00:19:07,887
I have things to carry too.

366
00:19:09,334 --> 00:19:11,894
At least give me a pocket."

367
00:19:25,214 --> 00:19:28,047
That laugh. That's the laugh.

368
00:19:28,214 --> 00:19:30,967
- That's it! You're the one!
- No, no.

369
00:19:31,134 --> 00:19:34,968
No, it was an accident.
It wasn't my fault! It was Jerry!

370
00:19:35,134 --> 00:19:37,728
Jerry put a PEZ dispenser
on my leg!

371
00:19:37,894 --> 00:19:41,682
You put a PEZ dispenser
on her leg during my recital?

372
00:19:41,854 --> 00:19:44,084
- I didn't know she would laugh.
- And, you...

373
00:19:44,254 --> 00:19:46,484
You lied to me, George.
You lied to me!

374
00:19:46,654 --> 00:19:50,249
No, l... I didn't. What did I do?

375
00:19:51,694 --> 00:19:53,047
Where are you going?

376
00:19:54,174 --> 00:19:58,486
I am breaking up with you.

377
00:19:59,094 --> 00:20:01,847
You can't break up with me.
I've got hand!

378
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,973
And you're gonna need it.

379
00:20:08,014 --> 00:20:10,244
Noel!

380
00:20:11,334 --> 00:20:14,485
- Hey, Richie!
- Hey, Richie.

381
00:20:14,894 --> 00:20:16,247
So, what's going on?

382
00:20:17,134 --> 00:20:20,888
So we start the intervention,
and it's pretty ugly from the get-go.

383
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:24,490
He's not listening, he's hostile,
he's talking back.

384
00:20:24,654 --> 00:20:26,963
I can't do these puzzles.

385
00:20:27,134 --> 00:20:28,886
So he starts to get up.

386
00:20:29,054 --> 00:20:32,888
Suddenly, he spots the PEZ dispenser
on the coffee table.

387
00:20:33,054 --> 00:20:35,124
The PEZ dispenser.

388
00:20:35,294 --> 00:20:37,762
He picks it up, he's staring at it.

389
00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:39,845
It's like he's hypnotized by it.

390
00:20:40,014 --> 00:20:42,653
Then he's telling us this story
about how when he was a kid...

391
00:20:42,814 --> 00:20:44,486
...he was in the car
with his father...

392
00:20:44,654 --> 00:20:46,804
...and his father was trying
to load one of them.

393
00:20:46,974 --> 00:20:50,569
- Well, they're hard to load.
- Tell me something I don't know.

394
00:20:51,774 --> 00:20:55,653
So as the father's trying to load it,
he loses control of the car...

395
00:20:55,814 --> 00:20:57,964
...crashes into a high school cafeteria.

396
00:20:58,134 --> 00:20:59,613
- Get out.
- Nobody's hurt...

397
00:20:59,774 --> 00:21:02,242
...but PEZ was all over the car.

398
00:21:02,414 --> 00:21:04,166
And the dispenser was destroyed...

399
00:21:04,334 --> 00:21:06,086
...virtually beyond recognition.

400
00:21:08,054 --> 00:21:09,965
- Poor kid.
- So as he's telling the story...

401
00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:11,123
...he starts crying.

402
00:21:11,414 --> 00:21:12,927
- What did you do?
- What do you think?

403
00:21:13,094 --> 00:21:15,813
- I gave him my PEZ dispenser.
- Wow.

404
00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:18,807
Two hours later,
he checks into Smither's clinic.

405
00:21:18,974 --> 00:21:21,852
Talked to the doctor yesterday.
He's doing great on the rehab...

406
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:24,289
...he's hooked on PEZ.

407
00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:28,646
He's eating them
like there's no tomorrow.

408
00:21:29,214 --> 00:21:31,409
What's a three-letter word for candy?

409
00:21:33,494 --> 00:21:35,769
I can't do those things.

410
00:21:47,294 --> 00:21:50,764
Jawbreakers, to me, was like
the ultimate challenge candy.

411
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:54,165
It was like candy manufacturers were
sitting in their laboratories, going:

412
00:21:54,334 --> 00:21:56,370
"I wonder if they'll eat this.

413
00:21:56,534 --> 00:21:58,968
This seems pretty tough to eat.

414
00:21:59,134 --> 00:22:01,523
Let's market it
as some sort of experiment."

415
00:22:01,694 --> 00:22:04,083
But the concept of Jawbreakers...
What was the concept?

416
00:22:04,254 --> 00:22:06,768
Multicoloured cement balls
for a quarter?

417
00:22:06,934 --> 00:22:08,572
Was that the idea behind it?

418
00:22:08,734 --> 00:22:11,089
"Let's see if we can hurt them.

419
00:22:11,254 --> 00:22:14,087
Let's see if they'll pay to be hurt."

420
00:22:14,254 --> 00:22:15,926
This is the idea behind Jawbreakers.

421
00:22:16,094 --> 00:22:17,607
I did it, I ate them, I loved them.

422
00:22:19,934 --> 00:22:22,368
"Oh, this is very painful.
I'm really hurting.

423
00:22:22,534 --> 00:22:25,367
And this is hurting me a lot.
I love them."

424
00:22:29,934 --> 00:22:30,923
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425
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