1 00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:04,040 Do you think that the people at the airport... 2 00:00:05,569 --> 00:00:07,207 ...that run the stores have any idea... 3 00:00:07,369 --> 00:00:10,202 ...what the prices are everyplace else in the world... 4 00:00:10,369 --> 00:00:13,406 ...or do they just feel they have their own little country out there... 5 00:00:13,569 --> 00:00:15,400 ...and they can charge anything they want? 6 00:00:15,569 --> 00:00:18,481 "You hungry? Tuna sandwich is $9. 7 00:00:18,649 --> 00:00:21,322 You don't like it, go back to your own country." 8 00:00:21,529 --> 00:00:23,759 I think the whole airport-airline complex... 9 00:00:23,929 --> 00:00:27,080 ...is a huge scam just to sell the tuna sandwiches. 10 00:00:27,249 --> 00:00:31,083 I think that profit is what's supporting the whole air travel industry. 11 00:00:31,249 --> 00:00:33,843 I mean, think about it. The terminals, the airplanes... 12 00:00:34,009 --> 00:00:35,522 ...it's all just a distraction... 13 00:00:35,689 --> 00:00:38,761 ...so that you don't notice the beating that you're taking on the tuna. 14 00:00:45,169 --> 00:00:47,319 It's all departures. I see nothing but departures. 15 00:00:47,489 --> 00:00:49,480 Do you know where the arrivals are? 16 00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:54,601 Excuse me, sir, do you have the time? 17 00:00:54,969 --> 00:00:57,199 There's a clock over there. 18 00:00:57,369 --> 00:00:59,485 - Where? - Over there. 19 00:01:00,049 --> 00:01:03,803 - But you have a watch on. - It's right by the escalator. 20 00:01:04,489 --> 00:01:05,888 Why not just look at your watch? 21 00:01:06,209 --> 00:01:08,439 I told you, it's right over there. 22 00:01:09,889 --> 00:01:11,925 - Let me see the watch. - Hey! 23 00:01:12,089 --> 00:01:13,647 What are you, some kind of nut? 24 00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:17,648 You know, we're living in a society! 25 00:01:19,409 --> 00:01:21,639 - George. - Jerry, Jerry. 26 00:01:21,809 --> 00:01:23,800 The flight was delayed. How long you been here? 27 00:01:23,969 --> 00:01:26,688 I just got here. My car broke down on the Belt Parkway. 28 00:01:26,849 --> 00:01:28,919 I can't believe- Get rid of that piece of junk. 29 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,922 One mile from the exit, it starts shaking, violently shaking... 30 00:01:32,089 --> 00:01:33,761 ...like it's having a nervous breakdown. 31 00:01:33,929 --> 00:01:36,648 - Then it completely stopped dead. - So you have no car. 32 00:01:36,809 --> 00:01:38,845 - No. - So, what good are you? 33 00:01:41,249 --> 00:01:43,479 This chauffeur's gonna be waiting a while. 34 00:01:43,649 --> 00:01:45,719 - O'Brien's not showing up. - How do you know? 35 00:01:45,889 --> 00:01:47,641 He was in Chicago. Flight was overbooked. 36 00:01:47,809 --> 00:01:49,003 They wouldn't let him on. 37 00:01:49,169 --> 00:01:52,320 He kept screaming how he had to get to Madison Square Garden. 38 00:01:52,489 --> 00:01:54,684 - We should take his limo. - Yeah, right. 39 00:01:57,969 --> 00:02:00,688 Wait a second. Think about it. 40 00:02:01,569 --> 00:02:02,922 He's not showing up. 41 00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:05,649 Wait till you see the line for cabs. It's 45 minutes long. 42 00:02:05,969 --> 00:02:08,608 - You said he's in Chicago. - He's definitely in Chicago. 43 00:02:09,649 --> 00:02:11,401 Well, that guy is just standing there. 44 00:02:13,809 --> 00:02:16,642 - How would we do it? - Just go up and say, "We're O'Brien." 45 00:02:18,649 --> 00:02:20,685 - Maybe he knows O'Brien. - He doesn't know him. 46 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,363 If he knew O'Brien, he wouldn't have a sign. 47 00:02:24,049 --> 00:02:26,483 - Let's just do it. - What if we get caught? 48 00:02:26,649 --> 00:02:29,163 What's gonna happen? They can't kill us. 49 00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:33,041 - Who's gonna be O'Brien? - I'll be O'Brien. 50 00:02:33,969 --> 00:02:36,324 - Who am I? - You're you. 51 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,207 - Just me? - Yeah. 52 00:02:38,929 --> 00:02:41,489 - Okay. - You don't wanna be you? 53 00:02:41,649 --> 00:02:44,527 Well, if you're gonna be O'Brien, why can't I be somebody? 54 00:02:46,089 --> 00:02:48,762 - Like who? - Dylan Murphy. 55 00:02:50,009 --> 00:02:51,727 Okay. 56 00:02:52,849 --> 00:02:55,568 - Now you wanna be Dylan Murphy? - Well, I like Dylan. 57 00:02:55,849 --> 00:02:57,077 You could be Colin. 58 00:02:57,489 --> 00:02:58,683 Okay. Colin O'Brien. 59 00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:01,079 - I'm Dylan Murphy. - I'm Colin O'Brien. 60 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,805 - Are we really doing this? - Come on. 61 00:03:05,089 --> 00:03:07,967 - Hey, do you have the time? - Clock over there. 62 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:10,842 - O'Brien. - Yes, sir. 63 00:03:11,569 --> 00:03:13,002 Sorry we're late. 64 00:03:13,169 --> 00:03:14,921 - Let me take that for you. - Oh, thank you. 65 00:03:15,089 --> 00:03:18,001 - I'll bring the car around front. - Thank you very much. 66 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,007 - Dylan. - Colin. 67 00:03:24,529 --> 00:03:27,646 Can you believe this? This is incredible. 68 00:03:27,809 --> 00:03:30,118 This is one of the greatest things I've ever done. 69 00:03:30,289 --> 00:03:32,359 - I'm gonna call my mother. - What for? 70 00:03:32,529 --> 00:03:34,599 To tell her I'm in a limo. 71 00:03:36,729 --> 00:03:38,606 Hello, Ma? It's me. 72 00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:42,079 Guess where I am. In the back of a limo. 73 00:03:42,249 --> 00:03:43,887 No, nobody died. 74 00:03:44,529 --> 00:03:46,724 It's a long story. I can't tell you now. 75 00:03:46,889 --> 00:03:48,208 Because I can't. 76 00:03:48,369 --> 00:03:49,961 I said, I can't. 77 00:03:50,889 --> 00:03:52,880 If I could, I would. 78 00:03:53,649 --> 00:03:55,879 Would you stop it? All right, look- 79 00:03:56,049 --> 00:03:57,277 I'm getting off. 80 00:03:57,449 --> 00:04:00,521 No, I'm not telling you. How's this? I'm never telling you. 81 00:04:00,689 --> 00:04:02,805 I don't care. No! Fine! 82 00:04:02,969 --> 00:04:04,721 Never! 83 00:04:07,569 --> 00:04:09,321 She happy for you? 84 00:04:10,929 --> 00:04:12,681 - Can he hear us? - No. 85 00:04:12,849 --> 00:04:13,998 Why? 86 00:04:14,169 --> 00:04:16,285 Thought I saw him look in the mirror suspiciously. 87 00:04:16,449 --> 00:04:17,768 He can't hear us. 88 00:04:18,329 --> 00:04:19,728 Let's test him. 89 00:04:20,769 --> 00:04:22,043 Hey, driver. 90 00:04:22,209 --> 00:04:24,769 What do you say we stop off, pick up your sister... 91 00:04:24,929 --> 00:04:26,442 ...have a little fun back here? 92 00:04:28,489 --> 00:04:29,968 No. He can't hear us. 93 00:04:30,689 --> 00:04:33,965 Where's he dropping us? Maybe we can get him to drop us at my house. 94 00:04:34,129 --> 00:04:35,642 I'll ask him. 95 00:04:37,769 --> 00:04:40,203 My dear fellow, where are you dropping us? 96 00:04:40,369 --> 00:04:43,327 At Madison Square Garden, of course. I have the four passes. 97 00:04:44,089 --> 00:04:46,444 Of course, the four passes. 98 00:04:49,809 --> 00:04:51,800 Four passes to Madison Square Garden? 99 00:04:53,009 --> 00:04:54,158 Wait a minute. 100 00:04:54,329 --> 00:04:55,921 Wait a minute. Of course. 101 00:04:56,089 --> 00:04:57,283 Chicago! 102 00:04:57,449 --> 00:04:59,360 The Knicks are playing the Bulls tonight! 103 00:04:59,529 --> 00:05:01,997 - What? - We are going to the Knick game! 104 00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:04,239 - Michael Jordan! - The Knicks! 105 00:05:04,409 --> 00:05:06,400 We're going to the game! Four free passes! 106 00:05:06,569 --> 00:05:10,118 - Did I tell you? Did I tell you? - I can't believe it! 107 00:05:10,289 --> 00:05:12,359 - You may have hit with this one. - You see? 108 00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:16,442 You see, I see things as they are and I say, "No." 109 00:05:17,169 --> 00:05:20,844 Wait. You see things as they are not and you say- 110 00:05:21,169 --> 00:05:23,080 Wait. You see thing- 111 00:05:23,249 --> 00:05:24,807 Do you see things as they are? 112 00:05:24,969 --> 00:05:26,561 What do you say when you see things? 113 00:05:27,289 --> 00:05:28,847 Let me call Elaine and Kramer. 114 00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:34,124 If I see things as they are, I would ask, "Why?"or "Why not?" 115 00:05:34,289 --> 00:05:36,678 Elaine? It's me. 116 00:05:36,849 --> 00:05:38,168 What are you doing tonight? 117 00:05:38,329 --> 00:05:41,958 Great. George and I have tickets- Four free passes... 118 00:05:42,129 --> 00:05:45,360 ...to the Knicks-Bulls game at Madison Square Garden. 119 00:05:46,249 --> 00:05:47,477 Can you go? 120 00:05:47,649 --> 00:05:51,039 Great. Call Kramer, tell him to meet us on the corner at 7:00. 121 00:05:51,209 --> 00:05:54,360 All right. We're gonna pick you up in a limo. 122 00:05:54,529 --> 00:05:56,884 That's right, baby doll. 123 00:05:57,049 --> 00:06:01,042 And listen, when we pick you up, I'm Murphy and George is O'Brien. 124 00:06:01,209 --> 00:06:03,325 I can't tell you now. It's a long story. 125 00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:05,127 I am serious. 126 00:06:05,289 --> 00:06:07,166 Okay. Okay, bye. 127 00:06:12,209 --> 00:06:14,928 Excuse me, driver, we have to make a little stop first. 128 00:06:15,089 --> 00:06:16,363 I know. 129 00:06:19,289 --> 00:06:20,642 - He knows? - He knows? 130 00:06:25,129 --> 00:06:27,040 Where we going? Why are we pulling off here? 131 00:06:27,209 --> 00:06:28,608 Maybe it's a shortcut. 132 00:06:28,769 --> 00:06:31,329 We're on the Grand Central. There's no traffic. 133 00:06:32,929 --> 00:06:34,999 Excuse me, why are we getting off this exit? 134 00:06:35,169 --> 00:06:37,364 To pick up the other members of your party. 135 00:06:37,929 --> 00:06:40,204 Right. The other members of our party. 136 00:06:42,129 --> 00:06:43,960 What other members of our party? 137 00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:45,960 I didn't even know we were in a party. 138 00:06:46,129 --> 00:06:47,482 I'm telling you, the jig is up. 139 00:06:47,649 --> 00:06:49,799 It was a bad jig. We never should've started it. 140 00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:53,405 - It was a good jig. - It was a bad jig. A terrible, terrible jig. 141 00:06:53,569 --> 00:06:56,129 What are we gonna do now? They'll know you're not O'Brien. 142 00:06:56,289 --> 00:06:58,723 There could be more than one O'Brien who ordered a limo. 143 00:06:58,889 --> 00:07:01,801 - First, you don't look like any O'Brien. - You should've been O'Brien. 144 00:07:01,969 --> 00:07:04,119 I don't wanna be Murphy anymore. Do I have to be? 145 00:07:04,289 --> 00:07:07,122 - Yes, you have to be Murphy. - It makes no sense, me being Murphy. 146 00:07:07,289 --> 00:07:08,608 - You're Murphy. - I'm Seinfeld. 147 00:07:08,769 --> 00:07:10,088 You're Murphy! 148 00:07:10,689 --> 00:07:12,042 Let's just jump out of the car. 149 00:07:12,209 --> 00:07:14,006 We're doing 60 miles an hour. 150 00:07:14,169 --> 00:07:16,524 So we jump and roll. You won't get hurt. 151 00:07:16,689 --> 00:07:18,600 Who are you, Mannix? 152 00:07:18,889 --> 00:07:20,163 Why are we slowing down? 153 00:07:20,849 --> 00:07:22,441 Are those the people? 154 00:07:23,169 --> 00:07:26,127 All right, put your hands up over your face. Pretend you're sleeping. 155 00:07:34,769 --> 00:07:37,522 - Mr. O'Brien. - No, I'm Dylan Murphy. 156 00:07:37,689 --> 00:07:39,566 Mr. O'Brien had a long trip. He's sleeping. 157 00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:43,008 I don't wanna disturb him. 158 00:07:44,009 --> 00:07:47,365 We're just really excited to meet him face-to-face finally. 159 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,039 We're faithful readers of his newsletter. 160 00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:54,363 - Newsletter? - And, of course, his great book... 161 00:07:54,529 --> 00:07:55,848 ...The Big Game. 162 00:07:56,369 --> 00:08:00,521 Oh, yes, he's very proud of his work in The Big Game. 163 00:08:01,329 --> 00:08:04,526 - So you've never met him before? - No. 164 00:08:05,449 --> 00:08:07,565 - Never seen a picture of him? - Never. 165 00:08:07,889 --> 00:08:09,322 Not even on the book jacket? 166 00:08:09,929 --> 00:08:11,885 There was no picture on the book jacket. 167 00:08:12,049 --> 00:08:15,166 Hey, O'Brien, wake up. Come on. We got company. 168 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,842 Wake up. 169 00:08:20,169 --> 00:08:23,559 Well, hello. I'm O'Brien. 170 00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:30,123 - Hey! - Hey. 171 00:08:30,289 --> 00:08:32,200 You took a cab? 172 00:08:32,649 --> 00:08:34,048 Yeah. So? 173 00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:35,528 How much do you make? 174 00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:37,042 - I'm not telling you. - Come on. 175 00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:39,086 - No. - I'll tell you how much I make. 176 00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:40,728 I know how much you make. 177 00:08:43,409 --> 00:08:46,242 I don't even know why I'm doing this. I don't even like basketball. 178 00:08:46,449 --> 00:08:49,566 - You ever seen Michael Jordan? - Just in those commercials. 179 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,641 Maybe you'll see him do one of those 360 dunks. 180 00:08:53,009 --> 00:08:54,283 - What's that? - It's like this. 181 00:08:54,449 --> 00:08:56,201 - Here, you guard me. - What? 182 00:09:07,969 --> 00:09:10,039 I never get the tinted windows on the limo. 183 00:09:10,209 --> 00:09:11,608 Nobody cares who's in the limo. 184 00:09:11,769 --> 00:09:14,158 You see a limo go by, you know it's either a rich guy... 185 00:09:14,329 --> 00:09:16,285 ...or 50 prom kids with $1.75 each. 186 00:09:19,129 --> 00:09:21,484 Being in the back of a limo, I'm sorry, it's just- 187 00:09:21,649 --> 00:09:24,004 It's not that cool. Most of the time, you feel like... 188 00:09:24,169 --> 00:09:27,844 ...you're in some depressing single guy's apartment from, like, 1975. 189 00:09:28,009 --> 00:09:30,682 All that maroon velour furniture... 190 00:09:30,849 --> 00:09:33,807 ...couple of bottles of wine, three cassette tapes. There's stains. 191 00:09:33,969 --> 00:09:37,041 You're counting, there must've been 10,000 asses already on this seat. 192 00:09:37,609 --> 00:09:40,681 - I don't think we'll make the tip-off. - Think someone's been tipped off? 193 00:09:44,249 --> 00:09:45,967 So... 194 00:09:46,289 --> 00:09:48,245 You've read The Big Game, have you? 195 00:09:48,409 --> 00:09:50,877 Yes, I've read it. And I've memorized it. 196 00:09:51,569 --> 00:09:53,002 Well, tell me your impressions. 197 00:09:53,169 --> 00:09:56,366 I would love to hear what a young woman thinks of The Big Game. 198 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:59,521 Well, this is sort of embarrassing. 199 00:10:00,049 --> 00:10:02,279 But it's changed my life. 200 00:10:02,449 --> 00:10:04,360 The way you analyse the game... 201 00:10:04,529 --> 00:10:08,522 ...the way you identify the major players... 202 00:10:08,689 --> 00:10:11,157 Well, it left me breathless. 203 00:10:11,449 --> 00:10:13,201 You're a brilliant... 204 00:10:13,369 --> 00:10:15,405 ...brilliant man. 205 00:10:17,329 --> 00:10:19,524 Well, it's... It's just a game. 206 00:10:19,689 --> 00:10:21,122 Remember that, kids. 207 00:10:21,289 --> 00:10:23,883 "Just a game."He's so humble. 208 00:10:24,049 --> 00:10:26,119 Don't forget what you wrote in the epilogue: 209 00:10:26,289 --> 00:10:30,123 "The fate of the world depends on the outcome of this game." 210 00:10:30,769 --> 00:10:33,329 Well, I was exaggerating a bit. Just for effect. 211 00:10:33,489 --> 00:10:36,925 - He tends to exaggerate. - I mean, it's serious, but- 212 00:10:37,089 --> 00:10:40,923 We are really looking forward to your speech tonight. 213 00:10:42,449 --> 00:10:43,802 My speech. 214 00:10:43,969 --> 00:10:47,041 Yes, your secretary faxed me the copy. 215 00:10:48,369 --> 00:10:50,325 Would you like to look it over? 216 00:10:53,969 --> 00:10:55,880 Well, you might as well look it over. 217 00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,325 So, what's going on? How did all this happen? 218 00:10:58,489 --> 00:11:00,400 Jerry and George called me from this limo. 219 00:11:00,569 --> 00:11:02,764 They said we're all going to the Knicks-Bulls game. 220 00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,078 Limo? 221 00:11:04,249 --> 00:11:06,160 I thought that George went to pick him up. 222 00:11:06,329 --> 00:11:07,523 He did. 223 00:11:07,769 --> 00:11:09,919 Then why would they take a limo from the airport? 224 00:11:10,089 --> 00:11:11,238 I don't know. 225 00:11:11,929 --> 00:11:13,920 That's pretty strange. 226 00:11:14,089 --> 00:11:15,647 Did he say anything else? 227 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,164 Yeah. He said it's really important... 228 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:21,799 ...that we call them O'Brien and Murphy. 229 00:11:23,329 --> 00:11:26,321 O'Brien? Why would he wanna be called O'Brien? 230 00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:31,922 "And the Jews steal our money... 231 00:11:32,089 --> 00:11:34,922 ...through their Zionist-occupied government... 232 00:11:35,089 --> 00:11:38,161 ...and use the black man to bring drugs... 233 00:11:38,329 --> 00:11:42,117 ...into our oppressed white minority communities." 234 00:11:43,929 --> 00:11:46,124 You're not gonna open with that, are you? 235 00:11:55,129 --> 00:11:57,643 What was that you said about the myth of the Holocaust? 236 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,163 Said so many things. 237 00:12:02,129 --> 00:12:03,721 They're shooting! They're shooting! 238 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,481 All right, get down. 239 00:12:14,289 --> 00:12:16,484 I'm ready to die for you. 240 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:21,521 Oh, that's really very nice of you, Eva, thank you. 241 00:12:21,689 --> 00:12:23,645 But of course, you know, I would. 242 00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:26,198 I would do anything for you. 243 00:12:26,889 --> 00:12:28,208 Anything. 244 00:12:29,729 --> 00:12:31,640 Nothing to worry about, it was a flat tire. 245 00:12:31,969 --> 00:12:33,482 But rest assured... 246 00:12:33,889 --> 00:12:37,279 ...we're prepared to handle anything that might come up. 247 00:12:44,849 --> 00:12:46,407 Nice-looking Luger. 248 00:12:48,369 --> 00:12:50,519 I'm at The Paramount, adjacent to Madison Square Garden... 249 00:12:52,089 --> 00:12:53,681 ...where a growing number of angry demonstrators... 250 00:12:53,849 --> 00:12:57,125 ...gather to protest the first public appearance of Donald O'Brien... 251 00:12:57,289 --> 00:13:00,087 ...leader of the Midwestern regional chapter of the Aryan Union... 252 00:13:00,249 --> 00:13:02,717 ...and reputed to be their most charismatic spokesman. 253 00:13:02,889 --> 00:13:06,359 Mr. O'Brien advocates the violent overthrow of the government. 254 00:13:06,689 --> 00:13:09,726 He has openly professed a deep admiration of Adolf Hitler. 255 00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:12,449 Even David Duke has denounced him as a dangerous extremist. 256 00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:15,567 There is a full house inside awaiting his arrival from the airport. 257 00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:19,165 Sources tell me he is en route and should be arriving momentarily. 258 00:13:19,329 --> 00:13:21,797 Police have set up barricades, but, quite frankly, Bill... 259 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:25,166 ...I don't think they're any match for the emotional fuse that has been lit. 260 00:13:25,329 --> 00:13:28,844 From The Paramount, I'm Jodi Baskerville. Back to you in the studio. 261 00:13:29,289 --> 00:13:30,961 Something's very strange here. 262 00:13:31,129 --> 00:13:33,165 George goes to the airport to pick up Jerry. 263 00:13:33,329 --> 00:13:36,366 They come back in a limo with four tickets to the basketball game... 264 00:13:36,529 --> 00:13:38,281 ...and wanna be called O'Brien and Murphy. 265 00:13:39,289 --> 00:13:42,361 O'Brien. O'Brien. Why O'Brien? 266 00:13:43,409 --> 00:13:44,603 Elaine? 267 00:13:45,289 --> 00:13:47,086 - Dan. - Excuse me a minute. Hey. 268 00:13:47,249 --> 00:13:50,639 - Hi, Dan. How are you? - Good. 269 00:13:50,849 --> 00:13:54,285 - Oh, this is Kramer. - Oh, Kramer. 270 00:13:56,249 --> 00:13:57,443 What's going on? 271 00:13:57,609 --> 00:14:01,045 We're headed down to protest this big neo-Nazi rally. 272 00:14:01,209 --> 00:14:03,882 The head of the Aryan Union is speaking. He's in from Chicago. 273 00:14:04,049 --> 00:14:06,802 - You should come. - Oh, we can't. 274 00:14:06,969 --> 00:14:08,880 We're going to the Knicks-Bulls game. 275 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:12,519 Oh, well, that's where the rally is. At The Paramount, right next door. 276 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:16,125 - Oh, well, maybe we'll run into you. - Yeah, it's really gonna be something. 277 00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:19,201 First time he's appeared in public. No one knows what he looks like. 278 00:14:19,369 --> 00:14:21,724 - Who? - The head of the Aryan Union. 279 00:14:21,889 --> 00:14:23,208 O'Brien. 280 00:14:28,849 --> 00:14:30,919 What's taking them so long out there? 281 00:14:32,049 --> 00:14:33,846 Did you see the way she was looking at me? 282 00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:38,208 - She's a Nazi, George. A Nazi. - I know, I know. 283 00:14:39,889 --> 00:14:41,322 Kind of a cute Nazi, though. 284 00:14:42,129 --> 00:14:43,562 We gotta make a plan. 285 00:14:43,729 --> 00:14:45,287 - What are we gonna do? - I don't know. 286 00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:48,566 - Let's just make a run for it. - I can't run. I have a bad hamstring. 287 00:14:48,729 --> 00:14:50,720 - How'd that happen? - I hurt it in a hotel room. 288 00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:53,357 Know how they tuck the covers in real tight in those rooms? 289 00:14:53,529 --> 00:14:56,202 I can't sleep like that. I tried to kick it out and pulled it. 290 00:14:56,369 --> 00:14:59,645 Why do they make that bed so tight? You gotta sleep with your feet like that: 291 00:14:59,809 --> 00:15:04,644 It's for a mental patient. Wait a minute, the phone. We'll call the police. 292 00:15:05,249 --> 00:15:06,443 911. 293 00:15:08,729 --> 00:15:10,526 She said she'd do anything. 294 00:15:10,689 --> 00:15:12,998 Yeah, hello. Police? Yeah, listen... 295 00:15:13,169 --> 00:15:15,319 ...we're in the back of a limo in Queens- 296 00:15:16,129 --> 00:15:17,562 AstroTurf? 297 00:15:17,769 --> 00:15:19,760 You know who's responsible for that, don't you? 298 00:15:19,929 --> 00:15:21,681 The Jews! 299 00:15:21,849 --> 00:15:25,000 Oh, the Jews hate grass. They always have, always will. 300 00:15:25,169 --> 00:15:27,239 We'll be ready in a minute. 301 00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:29,127 Would you excuse us a minute, Tim Boy? 302 00:15:29,289 --> 00:15:30,927 We're in the middle of something here. 303 00:15:31,089 --> 00:15:34,001 With all due respect, Mr. O'Brien, we're just about to leave. 304 00:15:40,609 --> 00:15:42,201 Tim? 305 00:15:42,369 --> 00:15:44,360 Who's the head of the Aryan Union? 306 00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:46,440 - You or me? - You are. 307 00:15:46,609 --> 00:15:49,248 And who is responsible for making hatemongering... 308 00:15:49,409 --> 00:15:52,128 - ... and fascism popular again? - You are. 309 00:15:53,409 --> 00:15:55,001 Okay? 310 00:15:55,849 --> 00:15:57,328 I think you forgot something. 311 00:15:58,209 --> 00:15:59,767 - I'm sorry. - Good. 312 00:15:59,969 --> 00:16:01,322 Now get out. 313 00:16:04,449 --> 00:16:06,917 - All right, what are we gonna do? - I don't know. 314 00:16:07,089 --> 00:16:09,842 How's this: we wait till we get to your street corner... 315 00:16:10,009 --> 00:16:11,920 ...we see Elaine and Kramer, then we get out. 316 00:16:12,089 --> 00:16:14,125 - They can't shoot us in the city. - No. 317 00:16:14,289 --> 00:16:16,166 No one's ever been shot in the city. 318 00:16:19,289 --> 00:16:21,439 I'm telling you, something is going on. 319 00:16:21,609 --> 00:16:24,203 I can feel it, sense it. 320 00:16:24,849 --> 00:16:28,080 - I'm sure he was just joking around. - Oh, no, this is no joke. 321 00:16:28,249 --> 00:16:31,639 O'Brien's coming in from Chicago. Jerry's in a limo, says he's O'Brien. 322 00:16:31,809 --> 00:16:33,128 That's not funny. 323 00:16:36,969 --> 00:16:38,687 Oh, my God. 324 00:16:39,409 --> 00:16:41,400 Yes. Yes! 325 00:16:41,569 --> 00:16:43,241 What? What is it? 326 00:16:43,409 --> 00:16:45,365 Don't you see? There's always been something... 327 00:16:45,529 --> 00:16:49,158 ...very strange about Jerry. Always so clean and organized. 328 00:16:49,329 --> 00:16:51,524 - So? - Do I have to spell it out for you? 329 00:16:51,689 --> 00:16:53,407 The limo? The name? 330 00:16:53,569 --> 00:16:55,719 The rally at Madison Square Garden? 331 00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:58,767 Jerry and O'Brien are the same person. 332 00:16:59,009 --> 00:17:01,523 Jerry is the leader of the Aryan Union. 333 00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:02,883 Jerry's a Nazi? 334 00:17:04,249 --> 00:17:06,285 I can't even believe I didn't see it. 335 00:17:06,449 --> 00:17:09,964 Listen, you idiot, just calm down. 336 00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:12,563 I know Jerry. He's not a Nazi. 337 00:17:12,729 --> 00:17:15,926 - You don't think so? - No. He's just neat. 338 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,323 You know, it's funny. 339 00:17:25,209 --> 00:17:26,608 You don't look like an O'Brien. 340 00:17:26,969 --> 00:17:28,368 Me? 341 00:17:28,529 --> 00:17:31,680 Yeah, right. Get a load of this guy. 342 00:17:33,809 --> 00:17:36,448 - And you don't look like a Murphy. - I may not look like one... 343 00:17:36,609 --> 00:17:40,045 - ... but I act like a Murphy. - He's extremely Murphy. To a fault. 344 00:17:40,449 --> 00:17:41,643 Where are you from? 345 00:17:42,169 --> 00:17:44,205 Dublin. Originally. 346 00:17:44,369 --> 00:17:47,281 Parents came over here when I was 18. 347 00:17:47,449 --> 00:17:48,643 Cereal famine. 348 00:17:48,809 --> 00:17:51,403 Couldn't get a bowl anywhere. It was bad. 349 00:17:51,569 --> 00:17:53,400 'Tis a beautiful country, though. 350 00:17:53,569 --> 00:17:57,118 Lush rolling hills. And the peat. 351 00:17:57,289 --> 00:17:58,642 The peat. 352 00:17:59,769 --> 00:18:01,327 Sounds more like Scottish. 353 00:18:01,489 --> 00:18:03,081 We were right on the border. 354 00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,048 Maybe he's with the company. 355 00:18:07,729 --> 00:18:09,321 - What? - The CIA. 356 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:13,482 Maybe they placed him in there to infiltrate the organization from within. 357 00:18:13,649 --> 00:18:16,038 - What about his comedy act? - That's the perfect cover. 358 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,967 All that time on the road. 359 00:18:18,129 --> 00:18:20,723 Look, Jerry, he's too normal to be a comedian. 360 00:18:20,889 --> 00:18:23,039 These comedians, they're sick, neurotic people. 361 00:18:23,529 --> 00:18:26,043 - Well, what about George? - What about him? He's part of it. 362 00:18:26,209 --> 00:18:29,281 His whole personality's a disguise. 363 00:18:29,449 --> 00:18:31,565 There's no real person can act the way he does. 364 00:18:31,929 --> 00:18:34,284 Elaine, I'm telling you, they're with the organization. 365 00:18:34,449 --> 00:18:35,882 They're all part of it. 366 00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:39,246 He's in there with Helms and Hunt and Liddy, that whole crowd. 367 00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,764 George and Jerry, they probably know who killed Kennedy. 368 00:18:41,929 --> 00:18:43,408 I bet they were even in on it. 369 00:18:45,889 --> 00:18:48,164 All right, what are we gonna do? What-? 370 00:18:48,329 --> 00:18:51,082 I'm not gonna let them hurt you. I'm not gonna- 371 00:18:51,249 --> 00:18:53,001 Kramer, you're hurting me. 372 00:18:53,529 --> 00:18:55,724 Those are our friends I told you about. 373 00:18:55,889 --> 00:18:58,198 - Get off of me! - We're gonna talk to them. Pull over. 374 00:18:58,369 --> 00:18:59,961 - Get off of me! - It's all right. 375 00:19:00,129 --> 00:19:02,199 - Get off! - Hey, O'Brien! 376 00:19:02,369 --> 00:19:03,563 - O'Brien! - Is that him? 377 00:19:03,729 --> 00:19:05,481 - Yeah, that's him! - Look, there's O'Brien! 378 00:19:05,649 --> 00:19:06,877 No-good Nazi bastard! 379 00:19:07,049 --> 00:19:08,368 - Let's get him! - Get him! 380 00:19:08,529 --> 00:19:10,121 - What do we do? - Get in the car! 381 00:19:10,289 --> 00:19:12,484 - Get in the car! - What? What? 382 00:19:13,209 --> 00:19:14,437 Come on, hey! 383 00:19:19,729 --> 00:19:23,688 O'Brien. Long time, no see. How's tricks, Murphy? 384 00:19:25,089 --> 00:19:27,887 Why did you call him O'Brien and him Murphy? 385 00:19:28,049 --> 00:19:30,927 No, he was talking to me. He's cross-eyed. 386 00:19:31,089 --> 00:19:32,681 It could be very confusing. 387 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,158 Yeah? 388 00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:41,124 - Eva? - It's for me. 389 00:19:43,089 --> 00:19:44,283 Hello? 390 00:19:47,489 --> 00:19:49,241 It's O'Brien. 391 00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:51,563 O'Brien? 392 00:19:51,969 --> 00:19:53,243 Well, that's weird. 393 00:19:55,729 --> 00:19:56,923 Who are you? 394 00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,286 - I'm Jerry Seinfeld. - I'm George Costanza. 395 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:01,677 This is a misunderstanding. 396 00:20:01,849 --> 00:20:03,601 His car broke down. I told him to get- 397 00:20:03,809 --> 00:20:06,118 My car started shaking violently about a mile out. 398 00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,849 - So he picks me up without a car. - And there was a line- 399 00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:10,283 The limo has just pulled up. 400 00:20:10,449 --> 00:20:12,679 It's being surrounded by a huge crowd of protesters. 401 00:20:12,849 --> 00:20:14,760 This has the makings of a very ugly scene. 402 00:20:14,929 --> 00:20:16,681 I just didn't have anything to do tonight. 403 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,567 Then the phone rang and it was Jerry. 404 00:20:18,729 --> 00:20:21,562 We just wanted a ride into the city. 405 00:20:21,729 --> 00:20:24,118 He was supposed to pick me up, but he didn't pick me up. 406 00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,564 And tonight we were gonna go to the basketball game- 407 00:20:26,729 --> 00:20:28,879 They're banging on the car, trying to flip it over. 408 00:20:29,049 --> 00:20:32,121 The police seem unable or unwilling to control the crowd. 409 00:20:32,289 --> 00:20:35,201 I would imagine Mr. O'Brien must be having some very grave doubts... 410 00:20:35,369 --> 00:20:37,883 ...if he made the right choice for his first appearance. 411 00:20:38,049 --> 00:20:40,438 We did not want to antagonize the Nazis. 412 00:20:40,609 --> 00:20:42,520 We have no intention of upsetting the Nazis. 413 00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:45,249 - I don't have a problem with Nazis. - Do whatever you want. 414 00:20:45,409 --> 00:20:50,437 - Don't bother us, we won't bother you. - I don't wanna make a Nazi unhappy. 415 00:20:50,609 --> 00:20:52,088 - I swear. I swear. - I swear. 416 00:20:52,249 --> 00:20:54,444 - I swear. - I swear. 417 00:20:54,609 --> 00:20:56,998 - Get out! - Open the door. 418 00:20:57,169 --> 00:20:58,761 Oh, look! Look, it's Dan. 419 00:20:59,089 --> 00:21:00,681 - Hi, Dan! - Elaine? 420 00:21:01,169 --> 00:21:03,967 - Hi! Dan! - Come on, let's go. Go. 421 00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:08,240 I am not O'Brien! I am not O'Brien! 422 00:21:08,409 --> 00:21:09,637 I repeat, I am not O'Brien! 423 00:21:09,809 --> 00:21:12,846 Ask anyone. Jerry! Jerry! 424 00:21:13,009 --> 00:21:16,160 So I was watching this movie the other night, a World War ll movie. 425 00:21:16,329 --> 00:21:18,001 And there was Nazis in the movie. 426 00:21:18,169 --> 00:21:21,002 And I noticed that the Nazis in those movies... 427 00:21:21,169 --> 00:21:23,080 ...always had, like, two separate Heis. 428 00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:25,809 They had the regular Hei that they would do... 429 00:21:25,969 --> 00:21:29,166 ...and when they were around the offices, they had this casual Hei. 430 00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:31,081 Remember that? They'd come in the office: 431 00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:33,160 "Yeah, Hei, how are you? What's...? 432 00:21:33,329 --> 00:21:36,401 Is the kid back with coffee? Come on, are you finished with the copier? 433 00:21:36,569 --> 00:21:38,287 Yeah, world domination, Aryan race. 434 00:21:38,449 --> 00:21:40,917 So whose doughnuts are those? Yeah, Hei. Nice to see you. 435 00:21:41,089 --> 00:21:42,647 Can I have one of those doughnuts?" 436 00:22:28,289 --> 00:22:30,280 Subtitles by SDl Media Group