1 00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:03,562 The concept behind the car phone... 2 00:00:05,049 --> 00:00:07,199 ...speakerphone, airline phone, portable phone... 3 00:00:07,369 --> 00:00:09,405 ...pay phone, cordless phone, multiline phone... 4 00:00:09,569 --> 00:00:11,241 ...the phone pager, the call waiting... 5 00:00:11,529 --> 00:00:15,408 ...call forwarding, conferencing, speed dialling, direct dialling and redialling... 6 00:00:15,569 --> 00:00:18,129 ...is that we all have absolutely nothing to say... 7 00:00:18,289 --> 00:00:21,247 ...and we've got to talk to someone about it right now. 8 00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:24,287 Cannot wait another second. 9 00:00:24,529 --> 00:00:26,281 You're at home, you're on the phone. 10 00:00:26,449 --> 00:00:27,643 You're in the car making calls. 11 00:00:27,809 --> 00:00:29,447 You get to work, "Any messages for me?" 12 00:00:29,609 --> 00:00:33,921 You gotta give people a chance to miss you a little! 13 00:00:38,449 --> 00:00:41,407 It's bad enough you have a car phone. You have to use the speak er? 14 00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:45,522 It's safer. Plus, it's more annoying to the other person. 15 00:00:46,449 --> 00:00:48,679 - Oh, look at this guy. - What's going on? 16 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:51,647 A guy's trying to get in front of me, has to ask permission. Yes. 17 00:00:51,809 --> 00:00:53,879 Go ahead. Get in, get in. 18 00:00:54,809 --> 00:00:57,528 - Did you get a thank-you wave? - No, nothing. 19 00:00:57,689 --> 00:00:59,361 How could you not give a thank-you wave? 20 00:00:59,529 --> 00:01:02,487 Hey, buddy, where's my thank-you wave? 21 00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:05,079 Give me that wave! 22 00:01:06,049 --> 00:01:08,688 - Hey, Jerry, are you free on Friday? - Yeah, I'm free. Why? 23 00:01:08,849 --> 00:01:12,046 Oh, God. I bumped into Robin Sandusky today. 24 00:01:12,209 --> 00:01:14,928 She asked me to have dinner with her and her husband. 25 00:01:15,169 --> 00:01:16,807 Oh, my God. 26 00:01:16,969 --> 00:01:20,041 You won't believe what I saw. A car just bashed into a parked car... 27 00:01:20,209 --> 00:01:21,961 ...and sped off, right on my block. 28 00:01:22,889 --> 00:01:25,403 - You've got to follow that car. - What? 29 00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:28,641 - You can't let him get away with that. - The guy could be dangerous. 30 00:01:29,169 --> 00:01:32,684 - What are you, yellow? - I'm not yellow. 31 00:01:34,209 --> 00:01:36,359 Jerry, if you don't follow him, you're yellow. 32 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:38,440 - Wait. He stopped. He's parking. - What? 33 00:01:38,609 --> 00:01:40,361 What? I can't hear you. Jerry? 34 00:01:42,129 --> 00:01:43,721 Excuse me. 35 00:01:43,889 --> 00:01:46,483 I was driving behind you, you know... 36 00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:49,482 ...a few blocks back, and I- I couldn't... 37 00:01:49,649 --> 00:01:52,209 ...help... Maybe you didn't realize I- 38 00:01:52,369 --> 00:01:54,439 I- I witnessed that... 39 00:01:55,489 --> 00:01:58,606 ...your- Your left rear tire's a little low. 40 00:01:58,769 --> 00:02:02,318 That can affect the performance of the twin I-beam suspension... 41 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:06,368 ...not to mention, you know, your rack-and-pinion steering. 42 00:02:10,409 --> 00:02:13,640 So I wound up going out for a decaf cappuccino with her. 43 00:02:14,689 --> 00:02:16,600 Boy, what a story. 44 00:02:17,809 --> 00:02:20,118 I'm speechless, speechless. I have no speech. 45 00:02:22,929 --> 00:02:25,489 You know, I really liked her. We talked, we flirted. 46 00:02:25,649 --> 00:02:28,766 And when she laughed, she'd reach out and touch my arm. 47 00:02:31,409 --> 00:02:33,923 Love when they touch your arm. I can't get enough of that. 48 00:02:34,089 --> 00:02:35,886 - Me either. - Why is that? 49 00:02:36,329 --> 00:02:38,604 Let's not even analyse it. 50 00:02:38,969 --> 00:02:41,642 - So you didn't turn her in. - I couldn't go though with it. 51 00:02:41,809 --> 00:02:44,164 - You gonna see her again? - Friday night. 52 00:02:44,889 --> 00:02:46,117 - Yeah. - It's me. 53 00:02:46,289 --> 00:02:47,722 Come on up. 54 00:02:49,489 --> 00:02:52,447 By the way, Elaine does not need to know about anything. 55 00:02:52,609 --> 00:02:54,725 Hey, hey, hey. 56 00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:56,801 I dig. 57 00:02:58,169 --> 00:02:59,807 - Oh, you dig? - Yes. 58 00:02:59,969 --> 00:03:02,529 - I see enormous potential here. - Why? 59 00:03:02,689 --> 00:03:06,238 Because great couples always have a great story about how they met. 60 00:03:06,409 --> 00:03:08,718 That's why I've never been in a long-term relationship. 61 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,288 I never had a good meeting story. 62 00:03:10,609 --> 00:03:12,839 I wonder if I'm nuts for pursuing this woman at all. 63 00:03:13,009 --> 00:03:14,203 I don't think so. 64 00:03:14,369 --> 00:03:16,599 Look, she slammed into a parked car. 65 00:03:16,769 --> 00:03:19,966 She took no responsibility for mutilating the property of a stranger... 66 00:03:20,129 --> 00:03:22,927 ...and then she sped off like a criminal. 67 00:03:23,969 --> 00:03:26,529 On the other hand... 68 00:03:26,689 --> 00:03:29,123 ...should she never be allowed to date again? 69 00:03:29,289 --> 00:03:31,928 Scratch one car and you're forbidden to have social contact... 70 00:03:32,089 --> 00:03:34,125 ...for the rest of your life? 71 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,205 What am I drinking, milk? 72 00:03:39,129 --> 00:03:41,165 - Hey. - Hi. 73 00:03:41,329 --> 00:03:42,523 - Sweater. - Thank you. 74 00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:45,249 So? What happened? 75 00:03:45,409 --> 00:03:47,525 - With what? - With the car. 76 00:03:47,689 --> 00:03:48,838 What car? 77 00:03:49,009 --> 00:03:50,203 The hit-and-run. 78 00:03:50,369 --> 00:03:54,123 Oh, right, right, right. 79 00:03:54,289 --> 00:03:55,483 Well... 80 00:03:55,649 --> 00:03:57,640 ...actually, the guy went into Queens. 81 00:03:58,209 --> 00:03:59,403 Queens? 82 00:03:59,569 --> 00:04:02,242 - You followed him over the bridge? - Over the bridge. 83 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,684 Oh, I- I didn't know you went into Queens, Jerry. 84 00:04:05,169 --> 00:04:07,160 Yeah, Queens. 85 00:04:07,489 --> 00:04:09,320 So? Then what? 86 00:04:09,489 --> 00:04:13,641 He gets out of the car. I said, "Hey, buddy, I saw you hit that car." 87 00:04:13,809 --> 00:04:15,401 So he says to me: 88 00:04:15,569 --> 00:04:17,605 "What are you gonna do about it?" 89 00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:20,647 So I said to him, "Whatever's necessary." 90 00:04:23,849 --> 00:04:26,044 I am speechless. 91 00:04:26,209 --> 00:04:28,245 I am without speech. 92 00:04:29,249 --> 00:04:31,240 Tell her about the shoving. 93 00:04:34,289 --> 00:04:35,927 What? 94 00:04:37,049 --> 00:04:38,846 What shoving? 95 00:04:39,249 --> 00:04:41,479 - Oh, it was nothing. - No. 96 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,640 Tell her. 97 00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:45,802 Come on. Tell me. 98 00:04:45,969 --> 00:04:48,199 Well, he kind of lost his temper... 99 00:04:48,369 --> 00:04:50,837 ...and he was pushing me up against the car... 100 00:04:51,009 --> 00:04:53,728 ...so I went into a karate stance. 101 00:04:56,849 --> 00:04:59,363 - You know karate? - I know a little. 102 00:04:59,529 --> 00:05:02,601 Well, I- This is so amazing to me. 103 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,566 Jerry, what did he do? 104 00:05:04,729 --> 00:05:06,606 He backed off. 105 00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:09,642 He was pretty pathetic, actually. 106 00:05:11,329 --> 00:05:13,001 Hey. 107 00:05:13,929 --> 00:05:15,840 - Did you tell Kramer? - No. 108 00:05:16,009 --> 00:05:17,727 What, what? Tell me. 109 00:05:18,129 --> 00:05:21,565 Jerry saw this guy smash into a car, and he followed him. 110 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,286 Good for you. 111 00:05:24,529 --> 00:05:27,248 What kind of a sick lowlife would do a thing like that? 112 00:05:27,409 --> 00:05:30,128 You know, those people, you know they're mentally disturbed. 113 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:32,120 They should be sent to Australia. 114 00:05:33,809 --> 00:05:35,367 - Australia? - That's where England... 115 00:05:35,529 --> 00:05:37,008 ...used to send their convicts. 116 00:05:37,169 --> 00:05:39,729 - But not anymore. - No. 117 00:05:43,249 --> 00:05:44,762 Hey, Kramer? 118 00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:46,647 Kramer. 119 00:05:47,409 --> 00:05:50,082 - What happened to you right here? - I don't know. 120 00:05:51,689 --> 00:05:54,044 You know, I was watching Entertainment Tonight... 121 00:05:54,209 --> 00:05:56,928 ...and suddenly, you know, I got dizzy... 122 00:05:57,089 --> 00:06:00,604 ...and the next thing I know, I hit my head on the coffee table. 123 00:06:02,609 --> 00:06:05,965 - Well, that is- That is strange. - Yeah, it's... 124 00:06:07,929 --> 00:06:11,046 All right. Oh, Jerry, we're still on for Friday night, right? 125 00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:13,723 Oh, Friday. No, I can't. I'm sorry. I have a date. 126 00:06:14,729 --> 00:06:18,119 - But last night you said you were free. - We just met. 127 00:06:18,289 --> 00:06:21,167 You know, maybe it was a reaction to the sardines. 128 00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,480 I- I can't go alone. 129 00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:24,923 Ask George to go with you. 130 00:06:25,809 --> 00:06:28,448 George, come on. I'll pay for you. 131 00:06:28,609 --> 00:06:29,803 You'll pay? I'm there. 132 00:06:32,929 --> 00:06:34,442 - Why do you need anybody? - Because... 133 00:06:34,609 --> 00:06:37,806 ...I hate being at a table alone with a married couple... 134 00:06:37,969 --> 00:06:41,723 ...talking about their married friends and their married furniture. 135 00:06:41,889 --> 00:06:44,961 They're always trying to make me feel like their life is so much better. 136 00:06:45,129 --> 00:06:47,723 You know, I have a very exciting life. 137 00:06:47,889 --> 00:06:49,641 It's very exciting. 138 00:06:51,809 --> 00:06:53,765 You went out with a bullfighter? 139 00:06:54,209 --> 00:06:56,803 Yeah, yeah. Well, an ex-bullfighter now. 140 00:06:56,969 --> 00:06:59,563 - Wow. - What was his name? 141 00:06:59,729 --> 00:07:03,165 His name? His name was- Was... 142 00:07:03,329 --> 00:07:06,048 ...Eduardo... 143 00:07:06,209 --> 00:07:08,518 ...Caroccio. 144 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,081 Pass the salt, please. 145 00:07:11,649 --> 00:07:12,968 Where did you meet him? 146 00:07:13,129 --> 00:07:14,926 Actually, I met him in Switzerland... 147 00:07:15,089 --> 00:07:17,125 ...and he was fighting... 148 00:07:17,289 --> 00:07:20,326 Is that the word they use, "fighting"? They don't really fight the bull. 149 00:07:20,489 --> 00:07:21,763 They avoid fighting the bull. 150 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,567 Bread. 151 00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:32,281 Oh, I just love meeting new people, you know? 152 00:07:32,449 --> 00:07:35,088 That's how you really do learn about life. 153 00:07:40,569 --> 00:07:42,764 - God bless you. - Thank you. 154 00:07:43,209 --> 00:07:47,248 I wasn't gonna say anything, but I saw he wasn't gonna open his mouth. 155 00:07:49,649 --> 00:07:52,209 You know who's a good actor? Anthony Quinn. 156 00:07:52,369 --> 00:07:54,041 Oh, Anthony Quinn. Fine actor. 157 00:07:54,209 --> 00:07:56,439 But from what I understand, not a very good driver. 158 00:07:56,849 --> 00:08:01,161 Hits everything on the road, but always leaves a note. 159 00:08:01,489 --> 00:08:03,081 Did you ever see Zorba the Greek? 160 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,602 Excellent film. In fact... 161 00:08:04,769 --> 00:08:06,760 ...Quinn said he never felt so good... 162 00:08:06,929 --> 00:08:09,318 ...as when he left a note after smacking into a car. 163 00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:11,928 Come here. 164 00:08:12,209 --> 00:08:13,881 Really, I was only kidding around. 165 00:08:14,049 --> 00:08:15,448 He was only joking, Michael. 166 00:08:15,609 --> 00:08:18,169 You think you're special because you say, "God bless you"? 167 00:08:18,329 --> 00:08:22,208 I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special. 168 00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:25,485 He was only joking, Michael. 169 00:08:25,649 --> 00:08:27,685 - I'm sorry. - Oh, right. 170 00:08:27,849 --> 00:08:29,999 - Take his side! - I'm not taking his side. 171 00:08:30,169 --> 00:08:34,447 - Well, whose side are you taking? - Well, I'm not taking your side! 172 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:46,157 Kirk Douglas. Now, there's another very bad driver. 173 00:08:46,329 --> 00:08:47,887 But he's such an unbelievable guy... 174 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,085 ...when he hits someone, he doesn't leave a note. 175 00:08:50,249 --> 00:08:52,638 He sits in his car and waits for the other person... 176 00:08:52,809 --> 00:08:55,881 ...so he can exchange license, registration and apologize. 177 00:09:01,969 --> 00:09:04,483 I said, "God bless you." Was that so wrong? 178 00:09:04,649 --> 00:09:06,128 The question is... 179 00:09:06,289 --> 00:09:08,519 ...did you allow a space... 180 00:09:08,689 --> 00:09:11,362 ...for the husband to come in with his "God bless you"? 181 00:09:11,529 --> 00:09:14,202 Because as the husband, he has the right of first refusal. 182 00:09:17,569 --> 00:09:18,763 - Yeah. - It's me. 183 00:09:18,929 --> 00:09:20,601 - Come on up. - Yes. 184 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,566 Yes. I definitely waited. 185 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,048 But let me say this. 186 00:09:24,209 --> 00:09:26,245 Once he passes on that option... 187 00:09:26,409 --> 00:09:29,003 ...that "God bless you" is up for grabs. 188 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:32,684 No argument, unless she's one of these multiple sneezers... 189 00:09:32,849 --> 00:09:35,158 ...and he's holding his "God bless you"in abeyance... 190 00:09:35,329 --> 00:09:37,240 ...until she completes the series. 191 00:09:39,049 --> 00:09:40,926 I don't think she is a multiple sneezer... 192 00:09:41,089 --> 00:09:43,967 ...because she sneezed again later and it was also a single. 193 00:09:44,449 --> 00:09:46,087 What if she's having an off night? 194 00:09:49,009 --> 00:09:50,920 - Hi. - Hi. 195 00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:52,238 Well. 196 00:09:52,409 --> 00:09:54,445 If it isn't Mr. Gesundheit. 197 00:09:54,609 --> 00:09:56,964 Oh, yeah. Like there's something wrong... 198 00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:58,721 ...with saying, "God bless you." 199 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,084 I was raised to say, "God bless you." 200 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,168 Shut up. 201 00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:06,683 What does it mean anyway, "God bless you"? 202 00:10:06,849 --> 00:10:09,443 It's a stupid "stuperstition." 203 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,167 A stupid what? 204 00:10:12,489 --> 00:10:13,638 Whatever. 205 00:10:13,809 --> 00:10:17,518 You wanna make a person feel better, you shouldn't say, "God bless you." 206 00:10:17,689 --> 00:10:20,840 You should say, "You're so good-looking." 207 00:10:24,689 --> 00:10:28,284 Yeah. Yeah. That's better than "God bless you." 208 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:32,446 Anyway, she left a message on my machine. She wants you to call her. 209 00:10:32,609 --> 00:10:34,884 - Who? - Robin. 210 00:10:35,049 --> 00:10:36,198 Why? 211 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:39,247 Well, I assume she called to apologize. That's why she called me. 212 00:10:39,409 --> 00:10:40,524 Entertainment Tonight is on. 213 00:10:40,689 --> 00:10:42,407 - Where's the phone? - Bedroom. 214 00:10:42,569 --> 00:10:45,447 Hey, grab Jerry's sweater for me, would you? 215 00:10:53,289 --> 00:10:56,008 Georgia peach Mar/a Map/es reported/y threw... 216 00:10:56,169 --> 00:10:59,605 ...yet another stiletto heel at- 217 00:10:59,769 --> 00:11:01,088 What's it like out? 218 00:11:01,249 --> 00:11:02,967 It's chilly out. 219 00:11:05,009 --> 00:11:06,601 Should I take a sweater? 220 00:11:06,929 --> 00:11:09,443 Yeah. You could take a sweater if you want. 221 00:11:09,609 --> 00:11:11,088 A scarf? 222 00:11:11,249 --> 00:11:15,242 No. Hey, shut this off. Shut it off. 223 00:11:18,289 --> 00:11:21,042 - What's the matter? What's going on? - What happened? 224 00:11:21,209 --> 00:11:23,279 - What? - I think I hit my head again. 225 00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:26,088 - What is wrong? - Hey, hey, wait a minute. 226 00:11:26,249 --> 00:11:27,728 Let me ask you something, Kramer. 227 00:11:27,889 --> 00:11:32,724 The last time you hit your head, was Mary Hart on TV? 228 00:11:34,049 --> 00:11:35,801 - Yeah. - That is it! 229 00:11:35,969 --> 00:11:37,527 - What? - That is it! 230 00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:39,998 Mary Hart's voice! Don't you see? 231 00:11:40,169 --> 00:11:42,364 There's something about Mary Hart's voice... 232 00:11:42,529 --> 00:11:44,201 ...that's giving you seizures. 233 00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:47,088 Just like- Just like- Just like that woman in Albany! 234 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:48,841 Mary Hart! 235 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,239 - Oh, my God. - What? 236 00:11:51,649 --> 00:11:53,685 Well, she apologized, and she wanted to know... 237 00:11:53,849 --> 00:11:56,158 ...if we could get together Wednesday afternoon. 238 00:11:56,329 --> 00:11:58,923 - Get together? - Maybe she just wants to talk to me. 239 00:11:59,089 --> 00:12:00,647 Married women don't get together. 240 00:12:00,809 --> 00:12:02,367 They have affairs. 241 00:12:02,529 --> 00:12:05,123 Oh, my God, an affair. 242 00:12:05,649 --> 00:12:06,843 It's so adult. 243 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:13,525 It's like with stockings and martinis and William Holden and... 244 00:12:15,409 --> 00:12:18,685 On the other hand, it probably wouldn't cost me any money. 245 00:12:20,369 --> 00:12:22,883 Are you actually considering this? 246 00:12:23,049 --> 00:12:25,722 I can't have an affair with a married woman. That's despicable! 247 00:12:26,009 --> 00:12:28,921 It's like hitting a car and driving away without leaving a note. 248 00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:30,767 Yeah. 249 00:12:31,449 --> 00:12:33,087 Hey, you know who owns that car? 250 00:12:33,249 --> 00:12:35,319 - What car? - The one that was hit the other night. 251 00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:37,957 - Yeah, who? - That blond across the street. 252 00:12:38,129 --> 00:12:41,166 The one with the long ponytail, she wears those blue sweatpants. 253 00:12:41,649 --> 00:12:46,404 The blond with the blue sweatpants. 254 00:12:47,089 --> 00:12:48,283 Yeah, I think I've seen her. 255 00:12:49,809 --> 00:12:51,401 Well, I gotta get going. 256 00:12:51,569 --> 00:12:54,367 I'm meeting a guy with grey sweatpants. 257 00:12:57,329 --> 00:13:00,799 Wait, wait, wait. How do you know it's not John Tesh? 258 00:13:02,929 --> 00:13:06,126 - The blond with the blue sweatpants! - Who is she? 259 00:13:06,289 --> 00:13:09,201 I had a crush on her for a year! I've been afraid to approach her. 260 00:13:09,369 --> 00:13:11,405 She belongs on one of these Hallmark cards. 261 00:13:11,569 --> 00:13:14,606 Oh, right! Right! The blue sweatpants! 262 00:13:15,569 --> 00:13:18,242 It's too bad you can't say anything because of Angela. 263 00:13:20,369 --> 00:13:21,563 Yeah. 264 00:13:22,649 --> 00:13:24,765 Too bad. 265 00:13:29,769 --> 00:13:31,202 Angela. 266 00:13:32,129 --> 00:13:33,801 Lousy thug. 267 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,479 What kind of sick person does something like that? 268 00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:39,844 The woman belongs in prison! 269 00:13:40,089 --> 00:13:44,002 I mean, I actually owe it to society to do something about this! 270 00:13:44,169 --> 00:13:46,444 I can't sit by and allow this to go on! 271 00:13:46,609 --> 00:13:49,885 - It's a moral issue, is what it is. - Can't compromise your principles. 272 00:13:50,049 --> 00:13:51,528 - How can I live? - Can't live. 273 00:13:51,689 --> 00:13:53,964 I'm not religious, but I know where to draw the line. 274 00:13:54,129 --> 00:13:55,960 This country needs more people like you. 275 00:13:56,129 --> 00:13:58,324 Don't sell yourself short, saying, "God bless you"... 276 00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:01,765 ...to every Tom, Dick and Harry, at great personal risk. 277 00:14:02,289 --> 00:14:05,964 - I believe strongly in that. You know. - There should be more people like us. 278 00:14:06,129 --> 00:14:09,087 That's why the world's in the shape that it's in. 279 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,160 You're telling me. 280 00:14:16,929 --> 00:14:19,397 I just want you to know I'm gonna do everything I can... 281 00:14:19,569 --> 00:14:22,163 ...to make sure the party responsible is made responsible... 282 00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:23,842 ...or something very close to that. 283 00:14:24,369 --> 00:14:26,041 Well, God bless you. 284 00:14:27,089 --> 00:14:28,841 Thank you very much. 285 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,918 Oh, my God. I must be crazy. What have I done? 286 00:14:37,089 --> 00:14:39,649 - Oh, no. What's wrong? - What's wrong? 287 00:14:39,969 --> 00:14:42,529 I'll tell you what's wrong. I just committed adultery. 288 00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,324 You didn't commit adultery. I did. 289 00:14:47,449 --> 00:14:48,928 Oh, yeah. 290 00:14:49,249 --> 00:14:51,888 If I didn't do it with you, I would have done it with someone else. 291 00:14:53,169 --> 00:14:56,445 Well, I wouldn't want you to do that. There's a lot of losers out there. 292 00:14:57,769 --> 00:15:00,329 Maybe even someone who didn't say, "God bless you." 293 00:15:00,489 --> 00:15:02,207 Well, that's a given. 294 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:05,008 In three years with Michael, not one "God bless you." 295 00:15:06,129 --> 00:15:08,324 Must be hell living in that house. 296 00:15:09,729 --> 00:15:12,960 - Hi, it's Michael. - Hi, Michael. 297 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:16,201 - Is Robin there? - Robin? No, why? 298 00:15:17,169 --> 00:15:19,239 She said she was gonna be with you. 299 00:15:19,409 --> 00:15:22,287 No, I haven't spoken to her all da- 300 00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:25,482 Yeah, right. 301 00:15:25,649 --> 00:15:27,605 As a- As a matter of fact... 302 00:15:27,769 --> 00:15:31,728 She- She was here and she- She left a note... 303 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:36,280 ...but I- I wasn't here, but I- I have the note right here. 304 00:15:37,049 --> 00:15:38,607 If she's not with you, where is she? 305 00:15:38,769 --> 00:15:40,487 Well, I- I don't know. 306 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:44,119 Is she with your bald friend from the other night? 307 00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:46,201 No. No. 308 00:15:46,369 --> 00:15:48,803 Come on, Michael. 309 00:15:49,169 --> 00:15:53,208 He's finished. I'm gonna sew his ass to his face! 310 00:15:54,129 --> 00:15:57,166 I'm gonna twist his neck so hard his lips wil be his eyebrows! 311 00:15:57,329 --> 00:16:00,685 I'm gonna break his joints and reattach them! 312 00:16:01,849 --> 00:16:04,841 You're so good-looking. 313 00:16:06,449 --> 00:16:10,283 Now, you listen to me, suck-face! 314 00:16:10,529 --> 00:16:12,406 You tell anybody anything... 315 00:16:12,569 --> 00:16:15,686 ...and I will carve my initials in your brain tissue. 316 00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:18,238 - Let me rephrase- - I'll bash your skull in... 317 00:16:18,409 --> 00:16:21,799 ...like a bad cabbage, and I'll have a party on your head! 318 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,117 - Elaine. This is Angela. - I'll pluck your body hairs out... 319 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,166 ...with my teeth! 320 00:16:28,449 --> 00:16:30,201 Well, I think I get the gist of it. 321 00:16:30,369 --> 00:16:32,678 So you don't say anything to anybody... 322 00:16:32,849 --> 00:16:34,919 ...about me hitting that car. 323 00:16:35,089 --> 00:16:36,727 What car? 324 00:16:37,049 --> 00:16:38,687 Good. 325 00:16:38,849 --> 00:16:41,966 - I'm glad we understand each other. - It's not complicated. 326 00:16:46,289 --> 00:16:48,803 Very nice meeting you. 327 00:16:51,089 --> 00:16:52,841 Come on up. 328 00:16:54,849 --> 00:16:57,488 Well, well, Mr. Seinfeld... 329 00:16:57,649 --> 00:17:00,482 ...that must have been so frightening... 330 00:17:00,649 --> 00:17:03,800 ...when you confronted that guy in Queens. 331 00:17:03,969 --> 00:17:06,324 Now, let me just see if I've got the scenario right. 332 00:17:06,489 --> 00:17:08,525 - All right, Elaine. - No, no, no... 333 00:17:08,689 --> 00:17:10,839 ...because I'm picturing... What? What? 334 00:17:11,009 --> 00:17:12,727 French Connection kind of thing. 335 00:17:12,889 --> 00:17:15,722 You know, sort of a Popeye Doyle chase through the city. 336 00:17:15,889 --> 00:17:18,119 - It was just a couple of blocks. - Oh, no, no. 337 00:17:18,289 --> 00:17:20,200 Come on. Don't be so modest. 338 00:17:21,089 --> 00:17:23,000 - Hey. - Oh. 339 00:17:23,649 --> 00:17:25,605 Did you check your machine? 340 00:17:25,769 --> 00:17:27,680 No. Why? What's happened? 341 00:17:28,369 --> 00:17:31,088 Michael called me today, and he asked me where Robin was. 342 00:17:31,369 --> 00:17:34,441 - Yeah, okay. - And I said I hadn't seen her. 343 00:17:34,609 --> 00:17:37,601 - What? - No, George, you don't understand. 344 00:17:37,769 --> 00:17:40,203 She didn't tell me she was using me as an excuse. 345 00:17:40,529 --> 00:17:43,202 Okay? But then I realized what was going on... 346 00:17:43,369 --> 00:17:46,167 ...and I said that she left a note. 347 00:17:46,569 --> 00:17:48,480 But he didn't really buy that. 348 00:17:48,649 --> 00:17:51,083 And then- And then he did mention your name. 349 00:17:51,489 --> 00:17:54,128 He mentioned my name? What did he say? 350 00:17:55,289 --> 00:17:57,519 He said he was gonna... 351 00:17:57,689 --> 00:18:01,125 ...sew your ass to your face. 352 00:18:02,009 --> 00:18:03,522 What? 353 00:18:03,689 --> 00:18:07,079 - Why couldn't you think of something? - I don't know! He caught me off guard! 354 00:18:07,249 --> 00:18:09,319 You lie! How hard is it to lie! 355 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,002 It's not that hard. 356 00:18:12,969 --> 00:18:15,039 Well, who told you to sleep with her, George? 357 00:18:15,209 --> 00:18:17,086 Not my fault. I wasn't gonna do anything... 358 00:18:17,249 --> 00:18:20,685 ...until you got her juiced up with your story about the affair with the matador! 359 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:24,319 None of this would have happened if you hadn't said, "God bless you"! 360 00:18:24,489 --> 00:18:27,640 - Don't start. - Hold it, hold it, hold it, people. 361 00:18:27,809 --> 00:18:29,720 - Matador? - Oh, God. 362 00:18:29,889 --> 00:18:31,561 What matador? 363 00:18:31,729 --> 00:18:33,720 She told them she had an affair with a matador. 364 00:18:33,889 --> 00:18:35,242 A matador. 365 00:18:35,409 --> 00:18:37,365 Well, well. 366 00:18:41,929 --> 00:18:44,966 Pray tell, what was the young man's name? 367 00:18:49,369 --> 00:18:51,724 Eduardo Caroccio. 368 00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:54,597 Eduardo... 369 00:18:54,769 --> 00:18:57,237 ...Caroccio. 370 00:18:57,649 --> 00:19:01,324 That's good. That's very good. Kind of just rolls off the tongue. 371 00:19:01,489 --> 00:19:05,448 Where on the Upper West Side might a single girl meet a matador? 372 00:19:05,609 --> 00:19:07,122 - Perhaps, Zabar's. - No. 373 00:19:07,289 --> 00:19:09,849 Or Ray's Pizza. 374 00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:15,768 This person told me to tell you to get an estimate on the damage. 375 00:19:15,929 --> 00:19:19,717 I already got an estimate. It's $875. 376 00:19:19,889 --> 00:19:21,959 $875? 377 00:19:22,289 --> 00:19:23,881 That's right. 378 00:19:24,689 --> 00:19:26,645 Well, I'll tell you what. 379 00:19:26,809 --> 00:19:30,768 I'll give you a check, and then this person can pay me back. 380 00:19:31,729 --> 00:19:33,799 Who do I make it out to? 381 00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:37,564 Becky Gelke. G-E-L-K-E. 382 00:19:37,729 --> 00:19:41,165 So, what are you doing this weekend? 383 00:19:41,529 --> 00:19:43,087 You have got some nerve. 384 00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,365 You smash up my car, you don't admit it... 385 00:19:45,529 --> 00:19:47,008 ...and now you want to ask me out? 386 00:19:47,169 --> 00:19:49,967 - I didn't do it! - Yeah, right. 387 00:19:51,409 --> 00:19:52,967 You are so good-looking. 388 00:19:53,129 --> 00:19:54,608 Thank you. 389 00:19:58,769 --> 00:20:00,487 Jerry, let's go. You ready? 390 00:20:00,649 --> 00:20:03,209 You really want to do this? I'm on the road for three weeks. 391 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:06,361 Excuse me, I've got a maniac stalking me. I'm not staying in the city. 392 00:20:07,369 --> 00:20:10,042 - All right. - Come on, let's get out of here. 393 00:20:12,209 --> 00:20:13,688 How could you? 394 00:20:13,849 --> 00:20:16,488 - What? - I never thought you were capable. 395 00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,844 - What did I do? - I talked to Becky Gelke outside. 396 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,283 She told me you hit and ran. 397 00:20:21,449 --> 00:20:23,724 I don't even want to look at you anymore! 398 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:27,245 All these years of friendship, and you're- You're nothing but a felon! 399 00:20:27,409 --> 00:20:29,479 You're an embarrassment to the building. 400 00:20:29,649 --> 00:20:33,642 I didn't do it. I just had to pay her to cover for somebody else. 401 00:20:34,089 --> 00:20:36,728 - You're not gonna lie to me, are you? - No. Never. 402 00:20:36,889 --> 00:20:39,403 All right. I'm glad we got that straightened out... 403 00:20:39,569 --> 00:20:41,480 ...because I got a date with her. 404 00:20:43,889 --> 00:20:45,925 You got a date with Becky Gelke? 405 00:20:46,209 --> 00:20:48,677 - I'm going out with her Saturday. - Can we get out of here? 406 00:20:48,849 --> 00:20:52,046 If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had an excuse to talk to her. 407 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:55,918 Well, I'm happy to help in any way that I can. 408 00:21:06,009 --> 00:21:08,079 Liz Taylor... 409 00:21:13,209 --> 00:21:17,122 A man is paralysed, mentally, by a beautiful woman. 410 00:21:17,289 --> 00:21:19,041 Advertisers really take advantage of this. 411 00:21:19,209 --> 00:21:21,769 Don't you love ads where you see the woman in the bikini... 412 00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:24,489 ...next to the 32-piece ratchet set, you know, and she's...? 413 00:21:24,649 --> 00:21:26,401 We'll be looking at the girl... 414 00:21:26,569 --> 00:21:31,040 ...looking at the ratchet set going, "All right, if she's next to the ratchet set... 415 00:21:31,569 --> 00:21:35,084 ...and I had that ratchet set... 416 00:21:35,249 --> 00:21:38,480 ...I wonder if that would mean that... 417 00:21:41,729 --> 00:21:44,448 I better just buy that ratchet set." 418 00:22:28,529 --> 00:22:30,520 Subtitles by SDl Media Group