1
00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:03,562
Do you think...

2
00:00:05,089 --> 00:00:07,159
...that the security guards
in art museums...

3
00:00:07,329 --> 00:00:10,401
...really ever stop anybody
from taking the paintings?

4
00:00:11,209 --> 00:00:14,281
I mean, are they going, "Hey, where
do you think you're going with that?

5
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:17,361
Come over here.
Give me that Cézanne."

6
00:00:17,529 --> 00:00:20,282
I mean, look at the job
that this man is hired to do.

7
00:00:20,449 --> 00:00:22,758
He's getting $5 an hour to protect...

8
00:00:22,929 --> 00:00:26,558
...millions of dollars
of priceless art, with what?

9
00:00:26,729 --> 00:00:29,448
He's got a light mocha
brown uniform...

10
00:00:29,609 --> 00:00:32,362
...and a USA Today.
This is what he's got.

11
00:00:32,569 --> 00:00:36,403
Crooks must look at this guy and go,
"We get past the folding chair...

12
00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,958
...and the thermos of coffee,
we can get a Rembrandt."

13
00:00:48,929 --> 00:00:51,966
Kramer, would you hold still?
I can't do this if you keep moving.

14
00:00:52,449 --> 00:00:55,361
You sure you don't want me
to take my clothes off?

15
00:00:55,849 --> 00:00:57,123
Because I'll do it.

16
00:00:58,249 --> 00:01:00,809
No, that's the last thing
in the world I want you to do.

17
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,520
Well, why don't you take
your clothes off?

18
00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,805
I don't know, I don't think
Jerry would like that.

19
00:01:06,969 --> 00:01:08,880
Well, it'll be our little secret.

20
00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:14,242
God!

21
00:01:17,409 --> 00:01:18,888
Button fly!

22
00:01:19,049 --> 00:01:21,279
Why do they put buttons on a fly?

23
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:24,043
It takes 10 minutes
to get these things open.

24
00:01:24,689 --> 00:01:26,566
I like the button fly.

25
00:01:26,729 --> 00:01:28,959
- What?
- That is one place on my wardrobe...

26
00:01:29,129 --> 00:01:32,326
...I do not need sharp,
interlocking metal teeth.

27
00:01:32,729 --> 00:01:35,038
It's like a mink trap down there.

28
00:01:35,689 --> 00:01:37,600
I'm gonna develop kidney problems.

29
00:01:38,449 --> 00:01:40,167
- What are you doing today?
- Nothing.

30
00:01:40,329 --> 00:01:43,639
I have to go meet Nina. Want to come
up to her loft, check out her paintings?

31
00:01:43,809 --> 00:01:46,562
- I don't get art.
- There's nothing to get.

32
00:01:46,729 --> 00:01:48,321
It always has to be explained to me...

33
00:01:48,489 --> 00:01:51,208
...and then I have to have someone
explain the explanation.

34
00:01:52,009 --> 00:01:55,718
She does abstract stuff. In fact,
she's painting Kramer right now.

35
00:01:55,889 --> 00:01:58,881
- What for?
- She sees something in him.

36
00:01:59,049 --> 00:02:01,609
So do I, but I wouldn't
hang it on a wall.

37
00:02:03,529 --> 00:02:05,042
Are you getting the eyes?

38
00:02:05,609 --> 00:02:06,803
Because they're brown.

39
00:02:06,969 --> 00:02:10,803
Really, they're dark brown,
like rich Colombian coffee.

40
00:02:13,369 --> 00:02:14,722
Tell me about Elaine.

41
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,125
You know, she and Jerry
were a big thing...

42
00:02:17,289 --> 00:02:19,166
...like Abe Lincoln and Mary Todd.

43
00:02:20,809 --> 00:02:23,926
- But they're still friends.
- Yeah, yeah. They're like this:

44
00:02:25,089 --> 00:02:28,240
- Don't you think that's strange?
- Why? What's the difference?

45
00:02:29,609 --> 00:02:32,169
Are you still friends with any
of your ex-girlfriends?

46
00:02:32,449 --> 00:02:34,883
Well, you know, I...

47
00:02:35,049 --> 00:02:37,244
I have many relationships.

48
00:02:39,529 --> 00:02:41,884
- I tell you, I'm a little nervous.
- Why?

49
00:02:42,049 --> 00:02:44,927
You know, the friend meeting
the new woman.

50
00:02:45,089 --> 00:02:48,001
I feel like I'm getting fixed up
for a friendship.

51
00:02:48,689 --> 00:02:50,566
I don't know how long
this is gonna last.

52
00:02:50,729 --> 00:02:52,959
Really?
I thought you liked her.

53
00:02:53,249 --> 00:02:55,080
I do, but she's got,
like, a jealousy thing.

54
00:02:55,249 --> 00:02:57,604
She doesn't like me having
fun with anyone but her.

55
00:02:57,929 --> 00:03:00,204
You know, it's a miracle
you're not married.

56
00:03:05,609 --> 00:03:08,203
Hey, I'm not obligated
to buy anything, am I?

57
00:03:08,529 --> 00:03:10,520
- Hi, Nina.
- Hi.

58
00:03:10,689 --> 00:03:12,168
- This is my friend George.
- Hello.

59
00:03:12,329 --> 00:03:14,240
Nice to meet you.
I've heard a lot about you.

60
00:03:14,409 --> 00:03:16,127
Hey, look at this guy!

61
00:03:18,409 --> 00:03:20,639
I brought George up to see
some of your paintings.

62
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,640
Oh, are you interested?

63
00:03:26,089 --> 00:03:27,681
Yeah, sure.
Sure, I'm interested.

64
00:03:27,849 --> 00:03:30,124
George, you gonna buy a painting?

65
00:03:30,729 --> 00:03:32,321
Yeah, sure.

66
00:03:32,489 --> 00:03:36,482
- Are you an art lover?
- I am an art adorer. I adore art.

67
00:03:37,209 --> 00:03:40,485
Great. Take a look around.
Pick something out you like.

68
00:03:42,449 --> 00:03:43,848
May I?

69
00:03:44,929 --> 00:03:46,760
Get out of here.

70
00:03:47,489 --> 00:03:48,683
Here. Play with this.

71
00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:51,204
- What's this?
- My father gave me four tickets...

72
00:03:51,369 --> 00:03:53,724
...to the Yankee game
for Saturday afternoon.

73
00:03:53,889 --> 00:03:56,608
Owner's box, first row,
behind the dugout.

74
00:03:56,969 --> 00:03:59,529
Saturday! I'm working.
I'm going out of town.

75
00:04:00,489 --> 00:04:02,605
Well, I won't go without you.
You guys want them?

76
00:04:02,769 --> 00:04:04,202
Yeah.

77
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,929
They're right behind the dugout,
George. First row.

78
00:04:07,089 --> 00:04:09,808
Behind the dugout? Are you kid-?
How did you get them?

79
00:04:09,969 --> 00:04:13,279
My father's the Yankees' accountant.
It's the owner's box.

80
00:04:13,449 --> 00:04:17,124
All my life I've dreamed of sitting
front row, behind the dugout.

81
00:04:18,169 --> 00:04:20,205
You like that one?

82
00:04:23,969 --> 00:04:25,197
Look at where we are!

83
00:04:25,369 --> 00:04:28,679
He's not stopping. He keeps
going and going and going.

84
00:04:29,729 --> 00:04:30,923
We're not in the first row?

85
00:04:31,089 --> 00:04:34,923
- No, no. These are your seats.
- She said first row behind the dugout.

86
00:04:35,089 --> 00:04:36,761
It's the second row. It's just as good.

87
00:04:36,929 --> 00:04:40,126
I was primed for the first row. I was
gonna put my feet on the dugout.

88
00:04:40,289 --> 00:04:43,406
Shut up. These are great.
You can't get any better than this.

89
00:04:43,569 --> 00:04:45,605
There's better. Right there.
That's better.

90
00:04:45,769 --> 00:04:46,963
All right.

91
00:04:47,249 --> 00:04:48,648
Oh, boy.

92
00:04:48,809 --> 00:04:51,369
- All right. Who wants a dog?
- Yeah. Here you go.

93
00:04:51,929 --> 00:04:53,157
What a great day.

94
00:04:53,329 --> 00:04:55,889
I could've been at my boss'
son's bris right now.

95
00:04:56,169 --> 00:04:57,648
That what you were
supposed to do?

96
00:04:57,809 --> 00:04:59,003
Yeah.

97
00:04:59,169 --> 00:05:01,967
What makes him think anyone wants
to witness a circumcision?

98
00:05:02,129 --> 00:05:04,085
I'd rather go to a hanging.

99
00:05:04,249 --> 00:05:06,968
Is it that unattractive
to have to take it off?

100
00:05:07,689 --> 00:05:09,168
Have you ever seen one with it?

101
00:05:09,329 --> 00:05:10,603
No.

102
00:05:11,169 --> 00:05:13,319
You wouldn't even
know what it was.

103
00:05:16,009 --> 00:05:17,362
Anyway, I called him back.

104
00:05:17,529 --> 00:05:22,159
I told him I had to visit my father
in the hospital in Maryland.

105
00:05:22,329 --> 00:05:25,605
You better catch it here, Charlie,
because this ain't Philadelphia!

106
00:05:25,769 --> 00:05:27,327
- George?
- Yeah?

107
00:05:27,489 --> 00:05:30,322
Hi. I'm Leonard West.

108
00:05:30,489 --> 00:05:33,561
- Nina's father.
- Hi, hi, Mr. West. I'm sorry.

109
00:05:33,729 --> 00:05:35,128
- This is my friend Elaine.
- Hi.

110
00:05:35,289 --> 00:05:39,441
Hey,.230 ain't gonna
cut it in this town, babe!

111
00:05:39,609 --> 00:05:41,167
This is Kramer.

112
00:05:41,329 --> 00:05:42,887
Hey, how you doing?

113
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,482
Yes! Yes!

114
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,767
- How are the seats?
- Okay.

115
00:05:50,929 --> 00:05:52,760
- Great. They're great.
- I hear you bought...

116
00:05:52,929 --> 00:05:55,204
- ... one of Nina's paintings.
- It's being framed now.

117
00:05:55,369 --> 00:05:56,768
I don't even know what it costs.

118
00:05:57,009 --> 00:05:58,761
Not too expensive, is it?

119
00:05:58,929 --> 00:06:00,647
Not if you have a lot of money.

120
00:06:01,489 --> 00:06:04,003
It was cheaper for me
when she was an actress.

121
00:06:08,049 --> 00:06:09,243
Well...

122
00:06:10,129 --> 00:06:11,926
- Enjoy the game.
- Thanks.

123
00:06:12,089 --> 00:06:14,364
I think you better take
off the Orioles cap.

124
00:06:14,529 --> 00:06:15,848
Yeah. I better.

125
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,920
No, no. Seriously.
You're in the owner's box.

126
00:06:18,089 --> 00:06:20,045
I don't think it's a good idea.

127
00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:23,121
- You're not serious.
- Yes, yes, yes, I am.

128
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:26,598
- Did he say that?
- No, but he gave me the seats.

129
00:06:26,769 --> 00:06:29,078
I don't think he'd like you
wearing an Orioles cap.

130
00:06:29,249 --> 00:06:31,205
- Maybe you should ask him.
- I don't have to.

131
00:06:31,369 --> 00:06:33,121
Are you gonna take
the hat off or not?

132
00:06:33,289 --> 00:06:34,517
No. I'm not gonna
take it off.

133
00:06:34,689 --> 00:06:36,168
Why should I?
That's ridiculous.

134
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:37,887
Just take the cap off.

135
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:40,609
George, I am at a baseball game.

136
00:06:40,769 --> 00:06:42,361
- This is America.
- Look!

137
00:06:42,529 --> 00:06:44,838
Either you take the cap off
or you leave.

138
00:06:45,009 --> 00:06:46,283
I'm not taking it off.

139
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,838
- Elaine, just take the cap off.
- No! Get off of my hat!

140
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,647
- What's-?
- What do you mean?!

141
00:06:50,809 --> 00:06:52,367
- Stop it!
- Just take it off!

142
00:06:54,449 --> 00:06:55,802
- There's your cap!
- Let's go.

143
00:06:55,969 --> 00:06:59,006
Oh, my God. All right,
get your hands off of me!

144
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:02,206
- I'm leaving.
- Wait a minute. We just got here.

145
00:07:02,369 --> 00:07:03,802
Do you want us to go with you?

146
00:07:04,609 --> 00:07:06,201
- No, you stay.
- Get your cap, George.

147
00:07:06,369 --> 00:07:08,360
- Well, I was just thinking-
- Yeah. Stay!

148
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,599
All right, all right, we'll go, we'll go.

149
00:07:18,369 --> 00:07:22,078
And then the ball hits him in the head,
and he falls right over the railing.

150
00:07:22,329 --> 00:07:25,082
- Is he okay?
- Well, yeah, he's fine.

151
00:07:25,249 --> 00:07:28,480
We took him to the emergency room.
The x-rays were all negative.

152
00:07:28,889 --> 00:07:31,198
It was quite a day.

153
00:07:31,369 --> 00:07:33,405
This is the most amazing story
I've ever heard.

154
00:07:33,569 --> 00:07:35,605
Why did he want you to take
off the baseball cap?

155
00:07:35,769 --> 00:07:37,168
- That is so insane.
- I know.

156
00:07:37,329 --> 00:07:39,399
Can you imagine that?

157
00:07:43,889 --> 00:07:46,198
- How you feeling?
- Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.

158
00:07:46,449 --> 00:07:48,041
Hi, Carol.

159
00:07:48,529 --> 00:07:50,440
Hey, look. We made the paper.

160
00:07:52,529 --> 00:07:55,521
Look at this. Page two, sports section.
We're all in the picture.

161
00:07:55,689 --> 00:07:57,088
- Picture?
- Picture.

162
00:07:57,249 --> 00:07:59,558
- Our picture's in there? What?
- Yeah.

163
00:08:00,049 --> 00:08:02,005
I cannot believe this.

164
00:08:02,169 --> 00:08:04,239
- There's George.
- Look at him.

165
00:08:04,409 --> 00:08:06,286
Oh, my God!
Lippman could see this!

166
00:08:06,449 --> 00:08:08,804
He thinks I was visiting my father.
Oh, my God!

167
00:08:08,969 --> 00:08:13,485
I make up one little white lie,
and they put my picture in the paper!

168
00:08:15,649 --> 00:08:17,002
Hi, Mr. Lippman.

169
00:08:18,129 --> 00:08:19,767
How's your father?

170
00:08:22,049 --> 00:08:23,721
My- My father.

171
00:08:23,889 --> 00:08:26,198
Yeah. You went to see him, right?

172
00:08:26,369 --> 00:08:27,961
Yeah.

173
00:08:28,129 --> 00:08:30,484
- I went to visit him.
- So...

174
00:08:30,649 --> 00:08:34,642
- ... what was wrong with him?
- Well, you name it. You know...

175
00:08:36,209 --> 00:08:39,360
Neuritis, neuralgia.

176
00:08:40,529 --> 00:08:42,963
But he's feeling better now, right?

177
00:08:43,129 --> 00:08:45,006
Yes. Yeah. It's such a miracle.

178
00:08:45,169 --> 00:08:47,888
You know, my visit must have
buoyed his spirits.

179
00:08:48,849 --> 00:08:50,123
Buoyed.

180
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,161
- What did I say?
- You said "boy'd."

181
00:08:53,609 --> 00:08:55,725
- I did?
- Yeah.

182
00:09:06,449 --> 00:09:07,723
Well, I got a plane to catch.

183
00:09:07,889 --> 00:09:10,244
- Where are you going?
- Going to Houston for a few days.

184
00:09:10,409 --> 00:09:12,047
Publishers' convention.

185
00:09:12,489 --> 00:09:13,808
Can I have my sports section?

186
00:09:16,449 --> 00:09:18,201
- Oh, yeah.
- Sports section.

187
00:09:18,369 --> 00:09:21,281
I'm saving it for the plane. I never
miss the Sunday sports section.

188
00:09:21,449 --> 00:09:23,724
There's nothing to read.
It's yesterday's news.

189
00:09:23,889 --> 00:09:26,687
The Yankees won, the Mets lost,
Rickey Henderson's unhappy.

190
00:09:26,849 --> 00:09:28,362
Right. Right.

191
00:09:28,529 --> 00:09:30,759
What are you doing?

192
00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:35,439
That is the third time today
I have done that.

193
00:09:37,049 --> 00:09:40,678
I keep, you know, grabbing
newspapers and just tugging at them.

194
00:09:40,849 --> 00:09:42,441
Well, I gotta go.

195
00:09:42,609 --> 00:09:45,806
Okay. Yes, well, you know,
have a nice trip.

196
00:09:46,129 --> 00:09:50,566
Alrighty. I'll just
hold down the fort.

197
00:09:55,089 --> 00:09:58,161
I sense great vulnerability...

198
00:09:58,329 --> 00:10:00,365
...a man-child crying out for love...

199
00:10:00,529 --> 00:10:04,522
...an innocent orphan
in the postmodern world.

200
00:10:04,689 --> 00:10:06,759
I see a parasite.

201
00:10:08,289 --> 00:10:10,757
A sexually depraved miscreant...

202
00:10:10,929 --> 00:10:16,287
...who is seeking only to gratify his
basest and most immediate urges.

203
00:10:18,569 --> 00:10:19,888
She was a guest of my father's.

204
00:10:20,049 --> 00:10:22,404
- She should've taken the cap off.
- It's preposterous...

205
00:10:22,569 --> 00:10:25,527
...to ask someone to take off a
baseball cap at a baseball game.

206
00:10:25,689 --> 00:10:26,917
How can you defend that?

207
00:10:27,089 --> 00:10:29,762
His struggle is man's struggle.

208
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,045
He lifts my spirit.

209
00:10:32,209 --> 00:10:35,167
He is a loathsome, offensive brute.

210
00:10:35,849 --> 00:10:37,919
Yet I can't look away.

211
00:10:40,129 --> 00:10:41,847
Look, I'm tired of all this fighting.

212
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:45,285
Maybe we should end this before
we really start hating each other.

213
00:10:45,449 --> 00:10:49,078
You wouldn't want that, because you
always have to remain friends.

214
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:52,525
I like to remain friends
with people I was friends with.

215
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:56,083
Hey, why don't you just go then?

216
00:10:56,249 --> 00:11:00,208
And give this to George.
Tell him he owes me $500.

217
00:11:01,649 --> 00:11:04,925
He transcends time and space.

218
00:11:05,809 --> 00:11:08,198
He sickens me.

219
00:11:09,649 --> 00:11:12,368
I love it.

220
00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:14,759
Me too.

221
00:11:17,729 --> 00:11:19,640
Five hundred dollars?

222
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,284
- What?
- That's what she told me.

223
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,999
I'm not paying $500 for this!

224
00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:26,568
It's a piece of junk!

225
00:11:27,209 --> 00:11:29,120
- That's what it costs.
- Why did you take it?

226
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:32,361
- You broke up with her.
- I wasn't thinking. I don't know.

227
00:11:32,529 --> 00:11:34,804
You weren't thinking.

228
00:11:37,049 --> 00:11:38,767
I mean, she framed it
and everything.

229
00:11:38,929 --> 00:11:40,760
I'm not buying this.
No way. Forget it.

230
00:11:40,929 --> 00:11:42,282
No way I'm buying this.

231
00:11:42,449 --> 00:11:44,679
I mean, look at it! What is it?

232
00:11:44,889 --> 00:11:47,403
It's a bunch of squiggly lines.

233
00:11:47,569 --> 00:11:49,321
Are you telling me you
couldn't paint this?

234
00:11:49,489 --> 00:11:52,925
You want me to paint you something?
I'd love to paint you something.

235
00:11:53,649 --> 00:11:54,877
I'm not paying for this.

236
00:11:55,049 --> 00:11:57,802
If you were going out with her,
it'd be a different story.

237
00:11:59,089 --> 00:12:00,841
This was in front of your door.

238
00:12:01,009 --> 00:12:02,442
- Hey, Kramer.
- Hi, Mike.

239
00:12:05,969 --> 00:12:07,402
Wow, a letter from Nina!

240
00:12:08,369 --> 00:12:11,964
Man, that is the ugliest thing
I've ever seen.

241
00:12:13,409 --> 00:12:15,400
- Oh, my God.
- What?

242
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,799
This is amazing.
You can't believe this.

243
00:12:17,969 --> 00:12:20,961
Listen to this."I don't know what
you expect to find, Jerry.

244
00:12:21,129 --> 00:12:24,360
You know what you want better than
me, but there's one thing I do know.

245
00:12:24,529 --> 00:12:26,599
I can stand here watching
you try to destroy...

246
00:12:26,769 --> 00:12:28,760
...everything I've ever
wanted in my life...

247
00:12:28,929 --> 00:12:33,002
...wanting to smash your face with my
fists because you won't even make...

248
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,479
...the slightest effort to opt for
happiness and still know I love you.

249
00:12:36,649 --> 00:12:39,083
You mean so much to me,
I'm willing to take your abuse...

250
00:12:39,249 --> 00:12:40,602
...insults and insensitivity."

251
00:12:40,769 --> 00:12:43,078
- Wow.
- She's deep.

252
00:12:44,169 --> 00:12:47,366
"Because that's what you need to
do to prove I'm not gonna leave you.

253
00:12:47,529 --> 00:12:50,566
I'm sick and tired of running from
places and people and relationships.

254
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:53,118
You want me,
then fight for me, beca-

255
00:12:55,249 --> 00:12:57,638
Because I'm sure as hell
fighting for you.

256
00:12:58,769 --> 00:13:00,202
I think we're both worth it."

257
00:13:09,609 --> 00:13:11,406
You know, Jerry,
she sounds like a poet.

258
00:13:11,569 --> 00:13:14,003
Boy, no one's ever written me
a letter like this.

259
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:15,966
Maybe I was wrong about her.

260
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,927
Get in there and give her a call.
Pick up the phone and call her.

261
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:22,286
- Should I?
- Yes, you're damn right you should!

262
00:13:22,489 --> 00:13:25,003
Fight for her, Jerry!
She's sure the hell fighting for you!

263
00:13:25,169 --> 00:13:26,488
All right!

264
00:13:27,529 --> 00:13:29,645
I'll call her.

265
00:13:44,169 --> 00:13:46,444
Don't go in there.
You're gonna get shot.

266
00:13:47,249 --> 00:13:49,080
I told you.

267
00:13:51,769 --> 00:13:53,122
- Yeah.
- It's George.

268
00:13:53,289 --> 00:13:54,768
Come on up.

269
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:59,240
Well, now we gotta get
a posse together.

270
00:13:59,849 --> 00:14:01,202
I love a good posse.

271
00:14:02,729 --> 00:14:04,287
What's the appeal of the posse?

272
00:14:04,449 --> 00:14:05,768
The appeal of the posse?

273
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:07,806
Posse has tremendous appeal.

274
00:14:07,969 --> 00:14:11,598
Get away from the job, you camp out,
you're with friends.

275
00:14:13,489 --> 00:14:16,879
Come on, it's a week-long game of
hide and go seek on horseback.

276
00:14:18,929 --> 00:14:20,157
Hello, George.

277
00:14:20,329 --> 00:14:22,126
Hey. Hey, Nina.

278
00:14:25,169 --> 00:14:26,966
I owe you some money, don't I?

279
00:14:27,129 --> 00:14:32,567
- Well, I really love that piece.
- Me too. Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

280
00:14:32,729 --> 00:14:35,880
You know, in fact, I've been
thinking about it, and...

281
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:38,438
...you know, I feel like
I'm stealing from you.

282
00:14:38,609 --> 00:14:41,965
Five hundred dollars! This is
gonna be worth thousands soon.

283
00:14:42,209 --> 00:14:45,246
You know what? On second thought,
I can't even accept this.

284
00:14:45,409 --> 00:14:49,197
No, no, no. George, a deal's a deal.
I want you to have it.

285
00:14:49,969 --> 00:14:52,437
This could be in a museum someday.
It's not safe with me.

286
00:14:52,609 --> 00:14:55,362
It should really be
in a doorman building.

287
00:14:55,529 --> 00:14:57,963
Honestly, George,
the money's not important.

288
00:14:58,129 --> 00:14:59,801
Who said anything about money?

289
00:15:01,889 --> 00:15:03,163
- Yeah.
- It's Elaine.

290
00:15:03,329 --> 00:15:04,523
Come on up.

291
00:15:04,689 --> 00:15:06,202
- Elaine?
- Yeah.

292
00:15:07,089 --> 00:15:09,159
She does not believe in telephones,
does she?

293
00:15:09,329 --> 00:15:12,878
She likes the pop-in.
I've told her how I hate the pop-in.

294
00:15:13,049 --> 00:15:14,528
He likes the pop-in too.

295
00:15:14,689 --> 00:15:17,123
Just popped in now.
I'm a big pop-in guy.

296
00:15:17,289 --> 00:15:19,200
- He is.
- What about Kramer?

297
00:15:19,369 --> 00:15:21,599
Huge pop-in guy.

298
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,962
Well, I was leaving anyway.
So we're on for tomorrow?

299
00:15:26,129 --> 00:15:28,438
- Yeah.
- Okay. Bye.

300
00:15:30,209 --> 00:15:31,801
Hello.

301
00:15:33,289 --> 00:15:35,280
Chatty gal.

302
00:15:36,729 --> 00:15:39,084
Lippman's coming back tomorrow.
I'll be fired.

303
00:15:39,249 --> 00:15:41,160
If he noticed it,
he would have called you.

304
00:15:41,329 --> 00:15:43,718
No. He wants to torture me.

305
00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:46,042
Will you give me the clicker?

306
00:15:46,209 --> 00:15:48,677
I hate it when you have the clicker.
You're too fast.

307
00:15:48,849 --> 00:15:51,761
Get out!
I'm a great clicker.

308
00:15:52,569 --> 00:15:53,922
I have great instincts.

309
00:15:54,089 --> 00:15:56,159
How dare you impugn my clicking.

310
00:15:56,529 --> 00:15:58,838
You're all over the dial.
You don't know what you want.

311
00:15:59,009 --> 00:16:02,240
You never stay on anything longer
than five seconds. Just give me that.

312
00:16:02,409 --> 00:16:04,240
- Let go.
- Come on. I want it, Jerry!

313
00:16:04,409 --> 00:16:06,240
- Let go, Elaine!
- Then let George do it!

314
00:16:06,409 --> 00:16:08,127
- George can't click!
- Give it to me!

315
00:16:08,289 --> 00:16:10,200
Give it! Give it! Give it!

316
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,041
Pinheads.

317
00:16:12,849 --> 00:16:14,521
Maybe I can't...

318
00:16:15,329 --> 00:16:18,878
...analyse and theorize and...

319
00:16:19,049 --> 00:16:21,483
...speculate on why we-

320
00:16:21,649 --> 00:16:23,685
Wait a second. Go back to that.
Go back to that.

321
00:16:23,889 --> 00:16:25,800
Hey, you read al those books,
not me.

322
00:16:25,969 --> 00:16:27,561
It's Chapter Two.
It's Neil Simon.

323
00:16:27,729 --> 00:16:29,845
But one thing I do know.

324
00:16:30,009 --> 00:16:31,806
I know how I feel.

325
00:16:32,849 --> 00:16:34,760
Wait a second.
Wait a second!

326
00:16:34,929 --> 00:16:37,807
- What?
- My God. The letter. That's the letter!

327
00:16:38,169 --> 00:16:40,444
- What letter?
- This is the letter she wrote to me.

328
00:16:40,609 --> 00:16:42,565
She stole it from the movie!

329
00:16:42,729 --> 00:16:44,048
Because you don't even mak e...

330
00:16:44,209 --> 00:16:46,928
"The slightest effort
to opt for happiness...

331
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:50,479
...and still know that I love you!"

332
00:16:50,689 --> 00:16:52,759
This is incredible.

333
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:56,524
I always thought there was something
funny about this letter.

334
00:16:56,689 --> 00:16:58,441
She's copied it right out of
Chapter Two.

335
00:16:58,609 --> 00:17:00,520
She's a thief! A bunco artist.

336
00:17:00,689 --> 00:17:02,998
Maybe I won't send her that check.

337
00:17:06,449 --> 00:17:09,009
You know, it's not really that terrible.

338
00:17:09,169 --> 00:17:12,479
What are you talking about? She
completely misrepresented herself.

339
00:17:12,649 --> 00:17:15,561
I don't opt for happiness.
I opt for happiness.

340
00:17:15,729 --> 00:17:18,402
James Caan doesn't
opt for happiness.

341
00:17:21,409 --> 00:17:22,603
Yeah. Yeah.

342
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,686
She wouldn't take the cap off?

343
00:17:25,329 --> 00:17:29,481
No. But didn't she know they
were the owner's seats?

344
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:32,209
Oh, that's unbelievable.

345
00:17:32,369 --> 00:17:34,963
Yeah, okay. All right, Lenny.

346
00:17:35,129 --> 00:17:36,482
Thanks again.

347
00:17:36,649 --> 00:17:38,367
Take care.

348
00:17:39,329 --> 00:17:43,083
That's Lenny West, my accountant,
who's a hell of a guy.

349
00:17:43,249 --> 00:17:45,638
He handles the Yankees too.
It's his biggest account.

350
00:17:47,449 --> 00:17:50,043
So every once in a while,
they throw him a couple of seats...

351
00:17:50,209 --> 00:17:53,485
...and last weekend,
he gave them to his daughter.

352
00:17:53,809 --> 00:17:56,528
She's an artist, by the way.
Anyway...

353
00:17:56,689 --> 00:17:59,362
...her daughter gives them
to some friends, you know?

354
00:17:59,529 --> 00:18:01,759
One of her friends shows up...

355
00:18:01,929 --> 00:18:03,999
...wearing a Baltimore cap.

356
00:18:05,569 --> 00:18:07,400
You're from Baltimore, right?

357
00:18:09,169 --> 00:18:11,558
It's Towson.
That's near Baltimore.

358
00:18:11,729 --> 00:18:13,481
But you're an Oriole fan, right?

359
00:18:13,649 --> 00:18:16,038
Well, fan...
You know, my father-

360
00:18:16,209 --> 00:18:19,201
Anyway, she refused
to take the cap off.

361
00:18:19,369 --> 00:18:20,848
She caused a whole big scene.

362
00:18:21,089 --> 00:18:23,080
Really? That's so impudent.

363
00:18:23,249 --> 00:18:26,764
Yeah. So Lenny gave me
the tickets for tomorrow night.

364
00:18:26,929 --> 00:18:29,966
I'm inviting Frank and Marsha.
Want you to come.

365
00:18:34,529 --> 00:18:36,201
I've got plans, though, Mr. Lippman.

366
00:18:36,369 --> 00:18:37,802
Well, break them.

367
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,479
You missed the bris.
I want you at the game.

368
00:18:42,609 --> 00:18:44,839
Okay. Okay.

369
00:18:45,009 --> 00:18:47,398
- Good.
- Okay, Mr. Lippman.

370
00:18:49,769 --> 00:18:53,239
And, Elaine, you know the Baltimore
cap you got in your office...

371
00:18:53,409 --> 00:18:55,969
...wear it. I'm gonna have
a little fun with him.

372
00:18:58,409 --> 00:19:00,445
That will be fun.

373
00:19:03,849 --> 00:19:05,123
How's it coming?

374
00:19:05,649 --> 00:19:07,241
Good. Good.

375
00:19:09,169 --> 00:19:11,080
Seen any good movies lately?

376
00:19:13,009 --> 00:19:14,362
No. Not really.

377
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:16,884
- You?
- No.

378
00:19:17,049 --> 00:19:19,165
I like a good comedy.

379
00:19:19,329 --> 00:19:21,889
You know, like a Neil Simon.

380
00:19:22,049 --> 00:19:24,927
- You like Neil Simon?
- Neil Simon?

381
00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:26,648
Some of his stuff.

382
00:19:26,809 --> 00:19:28,640
I've seen most of it.

383
00:19:28,809 --> 00:19:31,642
I guess my favourite
would have to be...

384
00:19:31,809 --> 00:19:33,720
...Chapter Two.

385
00:19:35,209 --> 00:19:36,688
Have you ever seen that?

386
00:19:38,529 --> 00:19:40,520
I don't know. Maybe.

387
00:19:41,009 --> 00:19:42,237
I have.

388
00:19:43,009 --> 00:19:45,318
Funny. Funny.

389
00:19:45,489 --> 00:19:47,480
In fact, it was on TV
just the other night.

390
00:19:47,649 --> 00:19:49,321
Happened to catch it.

391
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:52,720
I couldn't help but notice...

392
00:19:52,889 --> 00:19:55,084
...a stunning similarity...

393
00:19:55,249 --> 00:19:57,046
Well, we've made our decision.

394
00:19:57,209 --> 00:19:58,881
We want the Kramer.

395
00:20:00,689 --> 00:20:05,717
Five thousand? Why would anybody
buy Kramer for $5000?

396
00:20:08,009 --> 00:20:10,728
Boy, the Yankees cannot
buy a hit tonight.

397
00:20:11,569 --> 00:20:15,084
So is it all over between you
and Marsha Mason?

398
00:20:16,129 --> 00:20:17,403
Yeah.

399
00:20:17,649 --> 00:20:20,527
And by the way, can you get
this thing out of my house?

400
00:20:20,689 --> 00:20:22,168
I'll make a deal with you.

401
00:20:22,329 --> 00:20:25,162
- I'll sell it to you for 10 bucks.
- Please.

402
00:20:25,329 --> 00:20:30,403
Seems to be a lot of trouble in the
area just behind the Yank ee dugout.

403
00:20:30,849 --> 00:20:33,568
Behind the dugout? That's where
we were sitting the other night.

404
00:20:33,729 --> 00:20:36,880
We're not gonna show it, don't want
to encourage that kind of behaviour.

405
00:20:37,049 --> 00:20:40,678
It's a young lady, and she's realy
going at it with the security guard.

406
00:20:40,849 --> 00:20:44,444
She's a feisty one. They're getting the
other security guard to come down.

407
00:20:44,609 --> 00:20:45,837
How do you lik e that, Seaver?

408
00:20:46,009 --> 00:20:48,443
And, boy, she's something,
and a Baltimore fan at that.

409
00:20:48,609 --> 00:20:50,679
Holy cow!

410
00:20:53,489 --> 00:20:59,405
When I was 17, I ran away from home
and hopped a steamship to Sweden.

411
00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:03,768
- This steak is excellent, by the way.
- More potatoes?

412
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,362
Yeah, yeah, sure. Please.

413
00:21:05,529 --> 00:21:09,647
Yes, yes, go on. You hopped
a steamship to Sweden?

414
00:21:12,249 --> 00:21:13,807
It was a big one.

415
00:21:13,969 --> 00:21:16,642
Baseball season's starting.
I'm very excited about that.

416
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:19,562
Did you ever sneak down
to better seats at the game...

417
00:21:19,729 --> 00:21:21,447
...and get caught by the usher?

418
00:21:21,609 --> 00:21:24,760
When you're a kid, you're getting
chased from every place anyway.

419
00:21:24,929 --> 00:21:27,238
When you're an adult,
it's really embarrassing.

420
00:21:27,409 --> 00:21:30,321
You have to pretend like there's
some confusion.

421
00:21:30,929 --> 00:21:33,887
You put on this whole act.
You're looking at the tickets.

422
00:21:34,049 --> 00:21:37,007
"I don't understand how this
could have happened.

423
00:21:37,169 --> 00:21:39,000
Let me see. I see the problem.

424
00:21:39,169 --> 00:21:42,127
These are very good seats.
I have very bad seats.

425
00:21:42,289 --> 00:21:44,757
That's the misunderstanding."

426
00:22:28,449 --> 00:22:30,440
Subtitles by
SDl Media Group