1 00:00:04,369 --> 00:00:06,758 In parking lots, they have this "compact car only" spot. 2 00:00:06,929 --> 00:00:09,727 Isn't that discrimination against the size of your car? 3 00:00:09,889 --> 00:00:13,006 If I want my ass hanging out of the back of my parking spot... 4 00:00:13,169 --> 00:00:15,364 ...that's my business. 5 00:00:15,529 --> 00:00:18,123 There are people with real asses hanging out of their pants. 6 00:00:18,289 --> 00:00:20,086 Nobody's stopping them. 7 00:00:21,769 --> 00:00:24,203 Nobody goes, "Hey, hold it, sir. Those are compact jeans. 8 00:00:24,369 --> 00:00:26,360 You can't pull that in there." 9 00:00:33,169 --> 00:00:34,318 Hey. 10 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,002 I got bad news for you, buddy. 11 00:00:37,169 --> 00:00:39,080 I think your car got stolen again. 12 00:00:39,249 --> 00:00:40,682 What are you talking about? 13 00:00:40,849 --> 00:00:42,521 You parked on 84th and Columbus, right? 14 00:00:42,689 --> 00:00:46,238 I just walked by there, and that car is gone. 15 00:00:46,649 --> 00:00:47,877 Yeah, I know. 16 00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:49,323 Well, where is it? 17 00:00:49,489 --> 00:00:50,638 What's the difference? 18 00:00:50,809 --> 00:00:53,801 Well, there's no difference. You know, I'm just curious. 19 00:00:53,969 --> 00:00:56,483 Always have to know everything that's going on, don't you? 20 00:00:56,649 --> 00:01:00,278 - What happened to the car? - If I don't tell you, it'll kill you, won't it? 21 00:01:00,449 --> 00:01:02,405 - Yeah, yeah. It'll kill me. - You have to know. 22 00:01:02,569 --> 00:01:05,447 - You must know. - I must know. 23 00:01:06,969 --> 00:01:08,527 Well, I'm not telling you. 24 00:01:08,689 --> 00:01:10,008 Come on. 25 00:01:10,169 --> 00:01:11,443 Nope. I don't think so. 26 00:01:11,609 --> 00:01:14,123 - Well, please? - Not today, pal. 27 00:01:14,289 --> 00:01:15,483 Okay, I beg you. 28 00:01:16,049 --> 00:01:18,927 Now, see, just saying "beg" doesn't make it a real beg. 29 00:01:19,089 --> 00:01:20,442 You gotta put some beg into it. 30 00:01:20,609 --> 00:01:23,601 Okay. Please! Please tell me! 31 00:01:24,529 --> 00:01:26,599 All right, but your begging needs a lot of work. 32 00:01:26,769 --> 00:01:29,841 - Okay, okay. What is it? - I loaned the car to George. 33 00:01:30,009 --> 00:01:31,840 George. All right. 34 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,727 Well, what for? 35 00:01:34,369 --> 00:01:37,805 George and Elaine went to a flea market in Westchester. Okay? 36 00:01:37,969 --> 00:01:39,641 All right. 37 00:01:42,049 --> 00:01:43,243 Why'd they go there? 38 00:01:43,409 --> 00:01:45,081 Would you stop it, already? 39 00:01:45,249 --> 00:01:47,205 - Why didn't they ask me to go? - I don't know! 40 00:01:47,369 --> 00:01:49,485 How am I supposed to know? 41 00:01:50,169 --> 00:01:52,808 - What, they don't like me? - I don't like you. 42 00:01:52,969 --> 00:01:55,324 Well, if they liked me, why didn't they ask me to go? 43 00:01:56,009 --> 00:01:57,886 Yeah. 44 00:02:04,529 --> 00:02:06,599 I really think it looks good. 45 00:02:06,769 --> 00:02:09,078 Ten bucks. How can you go wrong? 46 00:02:09,249 --> 00:02:11,365 All bald people look good in hats. 47 00:02:11,569 --> 00:02:15,357 You should have lived in the '20s and '30s. Men wore hats all the time then. 48 00:02:15,529 --> 00:02:17,918 What a bald paradise that must have been. 49 00:02:18,449 --> 00:02:19,802 Nobody knew. 50 00:02:21,009 --> 00:02:22,567 You can wear a hat all the time now. 51 00:02:22,729 --> 00:02:24,799 - Who's stopping you? - No, I can't. 52 00:02:24,969 --> 00:02:26,482 What if I meet a woman? 53 00:02:26,649 --> 00:02:29,402 I'd always worry about that first moment where I take it off... 54 00:02:29,569 --> 00:02:32,527 ...and see that look of disappointment on her face. 55 00:02:33,009 --> 00:02:35,045 You sure you like these sunglasses? 56 00:02:38,609 --> 00:02:39,837 Man. 57 00:02:40,009 --> 00:02:42,284 Well, I'm very disappointed in George and Elaine. 58 00:02:42,449 --> 00:02:45,885 And you know I'm somebody you don't wanna have on your bad side. 59 00:02:46,929 --> 00:02:48,965 - Why not? - Because I'm like ice, buddy. 60 00:02:49,129 --> 00:02:50,847 When I don't like you, you got problems. 61 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:57,962 - Is this for the fight? - Yeah. Starts in 35 minutes. 62 00:03:02,769 --> 00:03:03,997 Yeah. 63 00:03:04,329 --> 00:03:06,684 Hey, I invited Mike Moffett. You don't mind, do you? 64 00:03:07,249 --> 00:03:08,648 No. I like Mike. 65 00:03:09,249 --> 00:03:12,321 I just got off the phone with him. We had a great conversation. 66 00:03:12,489 --> 00:03:16,448 - Yeah? What did you talk about? - Actually, we talked about you. 67 00:03:17,249 --> 00:03:20,446 Yeah. He had some pretty interesting things to say. 68 00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,879 Yeah? What did he say? 69 00:03:23,049 --> 00:03:25,609 You have to know everything, don't you? 70 00:03:26,489 --> 00:03:28,127 - Come on. What'd he say? - Why is that? 71 00:03:28,289 --> 00:03:30,041 Why do you have to know everything? 72 00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:32,962 - Kramer, just tell me what he said. - Beg me. 73 00:03:34,169 --> 00:03:36,478 - Please don't make me beg. - No, I want you to beg me. 74 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:39,959 And I don't want you to say it. I want you to put some beg in it. Go on. 75 00:03:40,129 --> 00:03:42,404 Kramer, please tell me what the guy said. 76 00:03:42,569 --> 00:03:44,525 No, no. That's no good. 77 00:03:44,689 --> 00:03:46,600 No, I really don't think that's a beg. 78 00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:48,919 No way. It's close, but... 79 00:03:49,089 --> 00:03:51,444 - Kramer! - Look, I can't say anything. 80 00:03:51,609 --> 00:03:54,521 The guy told me this stuff in confidence. I'd be betraying a friend. 81 00:03:54,689 --> 00:03:57,078 Well, you can't just mention it and then not tell me. 82 00:03:57,609 --> 00:04:00,203 All right. I'll tell you, but you can't say anything to him. 83 00:04:00,369 --> 00:04:02,599 I'm not saying anything. I'm putting it in the vault. 84 00:04:02,769 --> 00:04:04,839 I'm locking the vault. It's a vault! 85 00:04:05,009 --> 00:04:07,887 - He thinks you're a phoney. - He what? 86 00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:09,926 I told you. He thinks you're a phoney. 87 00:04:10,089 --> 00:04:12,922 - A phoney? He called me a phoney? - A big phoney. 88 00:04:13,089 --> 00:04:14,920 Big one. 89 00:04:15,529 --> 00:04:18,441 Why did you tell me that if I can't say anything? 90 00:04:18,609 --> 00:04:20,201 You begged me. 91 00:04:24,329 --> 00:04:25,478 Do you hear that? 92 00:04:25,649 --> 00:04:27,287 Of course I hear that. 93 00:04:27,449 --> 00:04:29,007 You had to move the mirror. 94 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,807 I wanted to check out my sunglasses. 95 00:04:30,969 --> 00:04:33,961 Went to look in the mirror, it was gone. You threw off my equilibrium. 96 00:04:34,129 --> 00:04:37,121 Yeah. Blame it on me because you can't drive, George. 97 00:04:37,289 --> 00:04:38,881 - I can't drive? - Yeah. 98 00:04:39,049 --> 00:04:40,801 Nobody drives like me. Nobody. 99 00:04:40,969 --> 00:04:43,688 I'm doing things in this car, you have no idea they're going on. 100 00:04:43,849 --> 00:04:45,680 Want to see a right turn from the left lane? 101 00:04:45,849 --> 00:04:47,521 No, I really don't. 102 00:04:48,209 --> 00:04:50,928 - I can make a left from the right lane. - I'm sure you could. 103 00:04:51,449 --> 00:04:53,917 - What are we gonna tell Jerry? - I don't know. 104 00:04:54,089 --> 00:04:55,647 Start looking for spaces. 105 00:04:55,809 --> 00:04:59,006 You're never gonna find a space on Jerry's block. Just put it in a garage. 106 00:04:59,169 --> 00:05:02,127 Look, I have my system. First, I look for the dream spot... 107 00:05:02,289 --> 00:05:05,884 ...in front of the door, then I slowly expand out in concentric circles. 108 00:05:06,049 --> 00:05:08,563 No. Come on, George. Please put it in a garage. 109 00:05:08,729 --> 00:05:11,038 I don't wanna spend an hour looking for a space. 110 00:05:11,209 --> 00:05:13,006 I can't park in a garage. 111 00:05:13,169 --> 00:05:15,239 - Why? - I don't know. I just can't. 112 00:05:15,409 --> 00:05:17,969 Nobody in my family can pay for parking. It's a sickness. 113 00:05:18,289 --> 00:05:21,918 My father never paid for parking. My mother. My brother. Nobody. 114 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:25,001 - I'll pay for it. - You don't understand. 115 00:05:25,809 --> 00:05:27,447 A garage. 116 00:05:27,609 --> 00:05:29,247 I can't even pull in there. 117 00:05:29,409 --> 00:05:31,127 It's like going to a prostitute. 118 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:36,158 Why should I pay when, if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free? 119 00:05:36,529 --> 00:05:38,918 What? What do you want? 120 00:05:39,529 --> 00:05:41,679 Go around me. I'm looking for spaces. 121 00:05:41,929 --> 00:05:43,487 George! There's a space right there! 122 00:05:43,649 --> 00:05:45,605 - Beautiful. - You just passed it, see? 123 00:05:45,809 --> 00:05:49,802 Look at that, the dream space. Right in front of Jerry's building. 124 00:05:49,969 --> 00:05:52,358 Dreams can come true. What did I tell you? 125 00:05:52,529 --> 00:05:55,202 You didn't even have to take it out to dinner. 126 00:05:57,729 --> 00:06:01,961 All right, now you're gonna see some parallel parking. 127 00:06:02,289 --> 00:06:05,998 I wish you could make a living parallel parking. 128 00:06:06,169 --> 00:06:09,798 It's all geometry, knowing all the angles... 129 00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:12,199 ...when to make that first turn and when to... 130 00:06:12,369 --> 00:06:14,200 ...swing it back in. That's the key. 131 00:06:14,369 --> 00:06:16,087 Will you just park it, already? 132 00:06:16,249 --> 00:06:18,809 There's nothing I can impart to you. That's the sad thing. 133 00:06:18,969 --> 00:06:20,846 It's so inborn. 134 00:06:21,009 --> 00:06:22,840 I can't pass it on. 135 00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:26,488 Look at this guy. 136 00:06:26,649 --> 00:06:29,117 What, are you crazy? What are you doing? 137 00:06:29,329 --> 00:06:32,002 Hey, hey! You're stealing my space! 138 00:06:32,169 --> 00:06:33,887 Wait, you don't know who this guy is! 139 00:06:34,049 --> 00:06:36,119 People kill for a parking space in this city. 140 00:06:36,289 --> 00:06:38,519 - He's not getting away with this. - George! 141 00:06:38,769 --> 00:06:40,282 What are you doing? 142 00:06:40,449 --> 00:06:41,882 I think I'm parking my car. 143 00:06:42,049 --> 00:06:44,927 You can't do that. You can't sneak in from the back like that. 144 00:06:45,089 --> 00:06:46,602 I'm not sneaking! 145 00:06:46,769 --> 00:06:49,567 I didn't even know you were parking. You were just sitting there. 146 00:06:49,729 --> 00:06:52,687 If you didn't think I was parking, why did you put it in headfirst? 147 00:06:52,849 --> 00:06:54,362 That's the way I park! 148 00:06:55,089 --> 00:06:57,159 You didn't start backing in until I pulled in. 149 00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:59,081 I was in the middle of a conversation. 150 00:06:59,249 --> 00:07:00,682 Hey, buddy, what can I tell you? 151 00:07:00,849 --> 00:07:02,441 The point is, I was here first. 152 00:07:02,609 --> 00:07:04,361 I was closer to this space than you were! 153 00:07:04,529 --> 00:07:07,168 But I'm backing in, you can't put it in headfirst! 154 00:07:07,329 --> 00:07:09,160 I can if I have room! 155 00:07:10,409 --> 00:07:11,808 Are you gonna move the car? 156 00:07:12,169 --> 00:07:13,727 No, I'm not gonna move the car. 157 00:07:15,129 --> 00:07:17,768 - Jerk. - You're not? 158 00:07:17,929 --> 00:07:20,204 - You believe this guy? - We'll put it in the garage. 159 00:07:20,369 --> 00:07:22,758 I am not putting it in the garage. It's my space. 160 00:07:22,929 --> 00:07:25,489 What are you gonna do, you're gonna leave it here like this? 161 00:07:25,649 --> 00:07:27,765 - I'm going upstairs. - Are you coming back down? 162 00:07:27,929 --> 00:07:30,568 I gotta tell Jerry we're here. I gotta go to the bathroom. 163 00:07:30,729 --> 00:07:32,845 Make sure he reserves the good chair for me. 164 00:07:33,009 --> 00:07:35,398 What are we gonna tell him about the clanking noise? 165 00:07:35,809 --> 00:07:37,800 Me? No, no, no. You. You're gonna tell him. 166 00:07:37,969 --> 00:07:40,119 - I'm not gonna- No! - You're good at this. 167 00:07:40,289 --> 00:07:41,927 - What am I gonna say? - I don't know. 168 00:07:42,089 --> 00:07:44,523 You'll think of something. Just break it to him gently. 169 00:07:44,689 --> 00:07:46,088 Man! 170 00:07:57,169 --> 00:08:00,161 Oh, my God. I need a drink. Got any Hennigan's here? 171 00:08:00,329 --> 00:08:01,967 Yeah. Under the counter. What happened? 172 00:08:02,129 --> 00:08:07,203 God. Jerry, it was so terrible, what we just went through on the way home. 173 00:08:08,369 --> 00:08:09,927 You wouldn't believe it. 174 00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:12,319 What? Tell me what happened. 175 00:08:20,889 --> 00:08:22,800 Okay. Now listen. 176 00:08:23,689 --> 00:08:26,806 We were at the tollbooth at the Henry Hudson Parkway, okay? 177 00:08:26,969 --> 00:08:29,403 And there were these, like, this pack... 178 00:08:29,569 --> 00:08:33,881 ...of extremely wild teenagers in a convertible behind us, okay? 179 00:08:34,049 --> 00:08:37,405 And for some reason, I don't know, they just started to taunt us. 180 00:08:37,569 --> 00:08:41,278 And so- So then we paid the toll, and then we went through... 181 00:08:41,449 --> 00:08:43,167 ...and then they started to follow us! 182 00:08:43,329 --> 00:08:45,797 So George tries to lose them, and- And- 183 00:08:45,969 --> 00:08:49,006 But- But they were in this really- Like a souped-up car, you know? 184 00:08:49,169 --> 00:08:52,047 And so he turned off the road really suddenly... 185 00:08:52,209 --> 00:08:55,599 ...and the car was on two wheels, and I was just screaming... 186 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,602 ...and then- George is such a great driver. 187 00:08:58,769 --> 00:09:01,283 - He is? - He is fantastic. 188 00:09:01,449 --> 00:09:04,168 And then they fired a gun right up in the air! 189 00:09:04,329 --> 00:09:07,639 - A gun? - I think it was a gun. 190 00:09:07,809 --> 00:09:10,277 And then they followed us all the way into the city. 191 00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:14,362 And then they stopped, and they turned around and they went home. 192 00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,919 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 193 00:09:20,089 --> 00:09:22,762 - Yeah, yeah. I'm all right. God. - Oh, man. 194 00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:28,205 By the way, the car hit a pothole, and now it's making a clanking noise. 195 00:09:28,809 --> 00:09:32,085 Well, I mean, as long as you're okay, that... 196 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,240 That's the important thing. 197 00:09:37,729 --> 00:09:38,957 Exactly. 198 00:09:39,809 --> 00:09:41,003 Where's George now? 199 00:09:41,249 --> 00:09:44,685 He's out in front arguing with some guy about a parking space. 200 00:09:44,849 --> 00:09:47,568 - What are you talking about? - Look out the window, you'll see. 201 00:09:49,169 --> 00:09:50,522 Hey, Georgie! 202 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:51,883 Hey! 203 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:53,801 Are you okay? 204 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,243 Yeah. I'm fine. 205 00:09:55,409 --> 00:09:57,764 Crazy kids, huh? 206 00:09:57,929 --> 00:09:58,918 What? 207 00:10:02,929 --> 00:10:04,601 It's my cuticle. 208 00:10:07,129 --> 00:10:08,687 Is that Jerry? 209 00:10:08,849 --> 00:10:11,238 - Jerry! - Hey, Mike. 210 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:12,888 What, you know Jerry? 211 00:10:13,049 --> 00:10:15,483 - Yeah, I know Jerry. - How do you know him? 212 00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:17,765 - What's the difference? - Because I know him too... 213 00:10:17,929 --> 00:10:21,239 - ... and probably a lot better than you. - Well, bully for you. 214 00:10:21,929 --> 00:10:25,888 Hey, Jerry. You know, your friend here is a real piece of work! 215 00:10:26,049 --> 00:10:28,847 - I'm coming down. - Hey, will you tell Kramer I'm outside? 216 00:10:29,009 --> 00:10:30,840 What, you know Kramer? 217 00:10:34,089 --> 00:10:36,603 - Hi. - Hello. 218 00:10:46,449 --> 00:10:49,600 Hey, your friend Mike's outside. He wants to talk to you. 219 00:10:51,569 --> 00:10:52,843 Hey, Mike! 220 00:10:53,009 --> 00:10:55,079 Come on up! The fight's almost starting. 221 00:10:55,249 --> 00:10:58,127 - You're watching the fight at Jerry's? - Yeah. 222 00:10:58,289 --> 00:10:59,802 Oh, great. 223 00:11:00,049 --> 00:11:02,688 - You know that guy downstairs? - Yeah. He's a real phoney. 224 00:11:04,689 --> 00:11:05,883 What's going on? 225 00:11:06,049 --> 00:11:08,688 Will you come on down? This guy's in my space! 226 00:11:08,849 --> 00:11:10,202 It's my space! 227 00:11:10,369 --> 00:11:11,802 I'll be down in a minute. 228 00:11:15,169 --> 00:11:17,637 - Are you going down? - Yeah. 229 00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:22,524 - Is anything wrong? - Why should anything be wrong? 230 00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:25,401 I'll be down in a minute. 231 00:11:28,609 --> 00:11:29,883 Hey, pal. 232 00:11:31,089 --> 00:11:32,761 You're not getting that space. 233 00:11:33,329 --> 00:11:35,365 I mean, I'll sleep in my car if I have to. 234 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,281 I'll die out here. 235 00:11:39,369 --> 00:11:40,768 He was down there. 236 00:11:40,929 --> 00:11:43,397 Once he passed his front bumper, it's no longer his space. 237 00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:46,925 - No. It doesn't matter. He was here- - Hey, Jerry. 238 00:11:47,649 --> 00:11:50,243 - Long time no see. - Hi, Mike. 239 00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:52,047 - Indiana. - Hey, Krame. 240 00:11:53,449 --> 00:11:56,486 - You know this guy? - Yeah. Yeah, I know him. 241 00:11:57,249 --> 00:11:58,568 You're looking tremendous. 242 00:11:58,729 --> 00:12:00,048 What, are you on some regimen? 243 00:12:00,209 --> 00:12:01,483 Yeah, 25-percent bran flakes. 244 00:12:01,649 --> 00:12:04,527 The 40 percent was too much, so I found a store to make it special. 245 00:12:04,689 --> 00:12:06,884 They take it down another 15 percent. 246 00:12:10,609 --> 00:12:11,962 That's killer! Killer! 247 00:12:12,129 --> 00:12:13,323 I love that. 248 00:12:14,089 --> 00:12:16,364 You've got to use that. That's a definite. 249 00:12:17,809 --> 00:12:19,003 Come on. 250 00:12:19,169 --> 00:12:20,363 Hey! 251 00:12:20,769 --> 00:12:22,919 - Your friend here has real problems. - Me? 252 00:12:23,089 --> 00:12:25,478 See what he did? See how he tried to sneak into my space? 253 00:12:25,649 --> 00:12:27,241 Going in front-first isn't sneaking! 254 00:12:27,409 --> 00:12:30,367 You went in front-first because you saw me backing up! 255 00:12:30,529 --> 00:12:33,839 I went front-first because I can make it front-first. Pull out! I'll show you! 256 00:12:34,009 --> 00:12:35,727 You got a prayer. 257 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,527 I go in front-first all the time. 258 00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:40,761 Front-first. That's how you park when you're pulling a bank job. 259 00:12:42,609 --> 00:12:44,327 - Did you talk to him? - Yeah. 260 00:12:44,489 --> 00:12:47,799 - It's all taken care of. - You told him? What did you tell him? 261 00:12:47,969 --> 00:12:50,437 I did a number on him. 262 00:12:50,609 --> 00:12:54,158 It was a thing of beauty. You really had to be there to appreciate it. 263 00:12:54,329 --> 00:12:55,808 I can't believe it. What'd you say? 264 00:12:55,969 --> 00:13:01,521 I told him a pack of teenagers in a convertible were terrorizing us... 265 00:13:01,689 --> 00:13:04,203 ...and they followed us into the city. 266 00:13:04,449 --> 00:13:05,802 A pack of teenagers? 267 00:13:05,969 --> 00:13:08,039 Yeah. By the time I got to the end of the story... 268 00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:11,565 ...he was so relieved we were alive, he couldn't care less about the car. 269 00:13:12,009 --> 00:13:15,001 You are a genius. It's as simple as that. 270 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,761 What can I say? You know, it's a gift. 271 00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:21,081 I only wish I could teach you, but, you know, it's inborn. 272 00:13:22,209 --> 00:13:24,518 By the way, thanks for inviting me to the flea market. 273 00:13:24,889 --> 00:13:27,084 - What? - Yeah. Jerry, he told me all about it. 274 00:13:27,329 --> 00:13:29,718 - Great. - I didn't know. 275 00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:32,803 Oh, so that's why you were acting so funny. 276 00:13:32,969 --> 00:13:34,925 Well, I didn't know you wanted to go. 277 00:13:35,089 --> 00:13:37,444 A flea market? You went to a flea market? 278 00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:40,681 - Who's talking to you? - We just didn't think of you. 279 00:13:40,849 --> 00:13:43,409 - You said it, sister. - Every time I leave my house now... 280 00:13:43,569 --> 00:13:46,606 ...I have to call everybody and ask if they wanna do what I'm doing? 281 00:13:46,769 --> 00:13:49,647 People forget. Look at Home A/one. They forgot. 282 00:13:49,809 --> 00:13:52,118 Great move telling him, by the way. Real smart move. 283 00:13:52,569 --> 00:13:55,288 I didn't know I wasn't supposed to say anything. 284 00:13:55,489 --> 00:13:58,765 Judgment, Jerry, judgment. You exercise no judgment! 285 00:13:59,249 --> 00:14:00,602 You're right. My fault. 286 00:14:00,769 --> 00:14:01,963 I'm sorry, Kramer. 287 00:14:02,129 --> 00:14:03,881 I'm so sorry. Really. 288 00:14:04,049 --> 00:14:05,801 Yeah. I'm sorry. 289 00:14:05,969 --> 00:14:08,642 I'm sorry. I don't care for that "sorry." 290 00:14:08,809 --> 00:14:11,528 What's wrong with that sorry? That was a good sorry. Jerry... 291 00:14:11,689 --> 00:14:14,726 - ... was that a good sorry? - It was a so-so sorry. 292 00:14:16,009 --> 00:14:18,523 Hey! Move this car! I gotta get through! 293 00:14:19,529 --> 00:14:21,042 You heard the man. 294 00:14:21,289 --> 00:14:23,166 I guess you better be moving your car. 295 00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:25,559 Like you're not just gonna back it in if I do that. 296 00:14:25,729 --> 00:14:28,163 Well, somebody better move something soon! 297 00:14:28,329 --> 00:14:31,366 I got a truck full of ice cream here! 298 00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:38,768 They had to move the cars so the truck could get through, right? 299 00:14:38,929 --> 00:14:42,205 These guys don't trust each other, so they got two nonpartisan drivers... 300 00:14:42,369 --> 00:14:43,597 ...to move them. 301 00:14:48,689 --> 00:14:50,281 Wild pack of teenagers, huh? 302 00:14:50,449 --> 00:14:51,598 Yeah. 303 00:14:52,049 --> 00:14:55,724 Amazing how they pick you out of everyone to terrorize. 304 00:14:55,889 --> 00:14:59,723 Yeah. I know. I said to myself, "Why us?"You remember? 305 00:14:59,889 --> 00:15:02,403 Sounds like you did some pretty nifty manoeuvring. 306 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:06,278 You know, it's interesting, under that pressure, what you're capable of. 307 00:15:06,449 --> 00:15:08,838 - Right. - I learned a lot about myself. 308 00:15:10,289 --> 00:15:12,325 - What did you do to my car? - I couldn't help it! 309 00:15:12,489 --> 00:15:14,559 Elaine moved the mirror! I got discombobulated! 310 00:15:14,729 --> 00:15:16,447 Like you've ever been "bobulated." 311 00:15:16,609 --> 00:15:18,440 I thought you said you were a good driver. 312 00:15:18,609 --> 00:15:21,601 No, I never said I was a good driver, I said, I was a good parker. 313 00:15:22,049 --> 00:15:23,562 I think you said driver. 314 00:15:23,729 --> 00:15:26,448 Parker. I never said driver. I said, parker. Great parker. 315 00:15:26,609 --> 00:15:28,440 That's not the way it was. Move it up. 316 00:15:28,609 --> 00:15:31,077 - No, that's the right position. - No, no. I was further in. 317 00:15:31,249 --> 00:15:32,648 No, you weren't. Stop there. 318 00:15:32,809 --> 00:15:34,128 - Do you mind? - Do you? 319 00:15:34,289 --> 00:15:35,881 Somebody better move these cars. 320 00:15:36,209 --> 00:15:38,040 - You're making a commotion. - Hey, Sid. 321 00:15:38,209 --> 00:15:40,359 - Who are you? - Never mind who I am. 322 00:15:40,529 --> 00:15:41,757 I know who I am. 323 00:15:41,929 --> 00:15:43,078 Do you know who you are? 324 00:15:43,929 --> 00:15:46,318 Why is it every time you park a car in this block... 325 00:15:46,489 --> 00:15:48,366 ...everything gets disrupted and disjointed? 326 00:15:48,529 --> 00:15:50,838 - Sid, it's completely his fault. - Right. 327 00:15:51,009 --> 00:15:52,681 Why don't you start taking the bus. 328 00:15:52,849 --> 00:15:56,364 Let's go. I'm putting it in the garage. The fight's starting in two minutes. 329 00:15:56,529 --> 00:15:57,723 - Enough! - No! Don't do it! 330 00:15:58,049 --> 00:15:59,562 Are we gonna stay here all night? 331 00:15:59,729 --> 00:16:02,084 Yes. I'm not giving him the satisfaction. It's my space. 332 00:16:02,249 --> 00:16:04,126 Why don't you just flip a coin, already. 333 00:16:04,289 --> 00:16:05,847 No, this is a matter of principle. 334 00:16:06,009 --> 00:16:09,479 That would be saying anybody can pull into any space any way they want. 335 00:16:09,649 --> 00:16:12,527 I'm making a stand here. I'm saying no to headfirst parking! 336 00:16:12,689 --> 00:16:15,078 We put up with too much crap in this city! 337 00:16:15,249 --> 00:16:17,160 We're not putting up with headfirst parking! 338 00:16:17,329 --> 00:16:20,958 Maybe if you hadn't been pontificating about what a great parker you were... 339 00:16:21,129 --> 00:16:22,721 ...you might have got the space. 340 00:16:23,409 --> 00:16:25,445 So you're against me now? 341 00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:28,328 He could have pulled up to that car and backed in... 342 00:16:28,489 --> 00:16:30,127 ...but he chose to go in headfirst. 343 00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:33,486 No, he couldn't, because the other car was already backing in. 344 00:16:33,649 --> 00:16:36,686 - No, he wasn't. - All that matters is who was there first. 345 00:16:36,849 --> 00:16:39,647 You're not even old enough to drive, you little puke. 346 00:16:39,809 --> 00:16:41,003 You just spit on me! 347 00:16:41,409 --> 00:16:44,003 Don't you raise your voice to me. 348 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,761 You're not my father! 349 00:16:46,009 --> 00:16:47,203 Hey, Matthew. 350 00:16:47,369 --> 00:16:48,518 Hi, Jerry. 351 00:16:48,689 --> 00:16:50,281 This guy's really a jerk. 352 00:16:50,449 --> 00:16:52,838 - How you doing? - Okay. 353 00:16:53,169 --> 00:16:54,921 I hear your father's closing his store. 354 00:16:55,089 --> 00:16:56,761 What? 355 00:16:56,929 --> 00:16:59,318 - No. Nothing. - What's happened to Daddy? 356 00:16:59,489 --> 00:17:01,844 - He's going out of business? - No, no, no. 357 00:17:02,009 --> 00:17:03,647 We're not going to have any money? 358 00:17:03,809 --> 00:17:05,959 - We're out of money? - No, of course not. 359 00:17:06,129 --> 00:17:07,323 Mommy! 360 00:17:07,489 --> 00:17:09,241 Jerry says Daddy's closing the store. 361 00:17:09,409 --> 00:17:11,320 He's going out of business. 362 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,161 We don't have any money? 363 00:17:13,329 --> 00:17:15,399 Jerry, what's the matter with you? 364 00:17:15,929 --> 00:17:17,248 I didn't... 365 00:17:17,409 --> 00:17:18,922 I don't know about your friend Jerry. 366 00:17:19,089 --> 00:17:20,886 He says some stupid things sometimes. 367 00:17:21,049 --> 00:17:22,368 Yeah. 368 00:17:24,129 --> 00:17:26,279 - Congratulations. - What for? 369 00:17:26,449 --> 00:17:28,007 Well, you're pregnant. 370 00:17:28,169 --> 00:17:30,364 - What? - You're not pregnant? 371 00:17:30,529 --> 00:17:32,008 No, I'm not pregnant. 372 00:17:32,809 --> 00:17:36,006 - Are you sure you're not pregnant? - Yes, I'm sure! 373 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,088 - That's weird. - Come on, Matthew. 374 00:17:38,249 --> 00:17:39,921 - No! - Come on, Matthew! 375 00:17:40,689 --> 00:17:42,281 I thought she was pregnant. 376 00:17:43,049 --> 00:17:44,528 Hey, do you think I'm a phoney? 377 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,407 - What? - Mike thinks I'm a phoney. 378 00:17:46,569 --> 00:17:48,878 - He thinks you're a phoney? - But I can't say anything... 379 00:17:49,049 --> 00:17:51,882 - ... because I'm not supposed to know. - You have to say something. 380 00:17:52,049 --> 00:17:53,801 I can't. I told Kramer I was vaulting it. 381 00:17:53,969 --> 00:17:55,960 - You gotta open the vault. - Open my vault?! 382 00:17:56,129 --> 00:17:58,120 - Open your vault. - Once I open the vault... 383 00:17:58,289 --> 00:18:00,484 - ... it ceases to be a vault. - You have no choice. 384 00:18:00,769 --> 00:18:02,441 The vault. 385 00:18:02,929 --> 00:18:05,568 You know why you can't go in front-first? I'll tell you why. 386 00:18:05,729 --> 00:18:08,368 Because it signals a breakdown in the social order. 387 00:18:08,529 --> 00:18:12,044 Chaos! It reduces us to jungle law. 388 00:18:13,289 --> 00:18:14,802 When can you park headfirst? 389 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,197 Never. 390 00:18:16,369 --> 00:18:18,360 - Why are you asking him? - Who's talking to you? 391 00:18:18,529 --> 00:18:20,645 He's right! Never! 392 00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,606 What if you got 10 car lengths? 393 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,964 Should you pull all the way to the front car? 394 00:18:25,129 --> 00:18:26,562 If you got 10 car lengths... 395 00:18:26,729 --> 00:18:28,367 When do you ever have 10 car lengths? 396 00:18:28,529 --> 00:18:29,962 What about Sundays and holidays? 397 00:18:30,129 --> 00:18:31,881 Please. 398 00:18:32,049 --> 00:18:33,641 What's going on here? 399 00:18:33,809 --> 00:18:36,687 This guy tried to sneak into my space. 400 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:40,524 I really hate people who do that. I hope you don't let him get away with it. 401 00:18:41,169 --> 00:18:42,921 Thank you for your support. 402 00:18:43,329 --> 00:18:45,365 Hey, that's a great hat. 403 00:18:45,529 --> 00:18:47,201 Really? You like it? 404 00:18:47,889 --> 00:18:49,322 I got it at a flea market today. 405 00:18:49,489 --> 00:18:51,559 - Hey, George, nice hat. - Yeah, thanks. 406 00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:53,560 - Can I try it on? - No! It wouldn't fit you. 407 00:18:53,729 --> 00:18:55,640 - Sure, it would. - No! Get out of here, Newman. 408 00:18:55,809 --> 00:18:57,322 - Let me try it. - No! Stop it! 409 00:18:57,489 --> 00:18:59,400 - Let him try it on. - I don't want him to! 410 00:18:59,649 --> 00:19:01,401 What is wrong with you? 411 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:05,080 You want to see? There! There it is! Run! 412 00:19:05,249 --> 00:19:07,604 All right! You wanna try on the hat?! Try on the hat! 413 00:19:07,769 --> 00:19:10,124 Stop it, George! Stop it. I was defending your parking. 414 00:19:10,289 --> 00:19:12,359 - Come on, George! - Okay, just keep the hat! 415 00:19:12,529 --> 00:19:15,123 That's it. The fight's already started. I'm going upstairs. 416 00:19:15,289 --> 00:19:17,849 - Who's coming? Elaine? - Depends on who's going. You going? 417 00:19:18,009 --> 00:19:20,079 - I'm not going if he's going! - Me either! 418 00:19:20,249 --> 00:19:22,399 - Well, I'm going. - If he's going, I'm not going! 419 00:19:22,569 --> 00:19:24,161 - It's your house! - I don't have to go. 420 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,684 - I won't go if Jerry's not. - Why won't you go if I go? 421 00:19:26,849 --> 00:19:28,840 Why? I'll tell you why. 422 00:19:29,009 --> 00:19:32,046 - No. Don't, Jerry. - Like you didn't call me a phoney! 423 00:19:32,209 --> 00:19:33,528 What? 424 00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:35,407 - Thanks! Real good! - All right. 425 00:19:35,569 --> 00:19:36,843 Jerry. 426 00:19:37,329 --> 00:19:39,559 I think you completely misunderstood what I said. 427 00:19:39,729 --> 00:19:41,287 I meant it in a complimentary way. 428 00:19:41,689 --> 00:19:44,761 You know, when people say, "He's bad,"it really means, "He's good." 429 00:19:44,929 --> 00:19:46,328 That sort of thing? 430 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:49,447 - You know, slang. - Use it in a sentence. 431 00:19:49,609 --> 00:19:52,919 Man, that Michael Jordan is so phoney. 432 00:19:53,249 --> 00:19:54,477 Why did you tell him?! 433 00:19:54,649 --> 00:19:57,721 - He begged me! - He begged you?! 434 00:19:57,889 --> 00:20:00,039 Come on, who wants to watch the fight? 435 00:20:00,209 --> 00:20:03,087 Okay, whose cars are these? Let's move them. Let's go. 436 00:20:03,249 --> 00:20:05,046 Officer, can I explain something to you? 437 00:20:05,209 --> 00:20:08,519 Let's go, or I'm gonna write both of you a ticket in about two minutes. 438 00:20:08,689 --> 00:20:10,441 He can't pull in headfirst! 439 00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:12,486 Officer, he backed up from down the street! 440 00:20:12,649 --> 00:20:14,560 He was double-parked! He was sitting there! 441 00:20:15,889 --> 00:20:19,598 All right, you move your car. It's his space. You can't go in headfirst. 442 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,248 Wait a second. 443 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,447 Why can't he go in headfirst? 444 00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:27,720 He said the guy was just sitting over there. 445 00:20:28,089 --> 00:20:30,364 What are you talking about? This guy was here first. 446 00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:33,089 - But he didn't take it. - Hey! It's his space! 447 00:20:33,249 --> 00:20:35,046 No, it's his space! 448 00:20:36,129 --> 00:20:37,801 You're gonna have to go to the bathroom! 449 00:20:37,969 --> 00:20:40,039 - You'll have to go to work! - I don't have a job! 450 00:20:40,209 --> 00:20:42,245 Neither do I! 451 00:20:48,049 --> 00:20:49,448 Seven. 452 00:20:49,889 --> 00:20:51,163 Eight. 453 00:20:51,849 --> 00:20:53,441 Nine. 454 00:20:53,849 --> 00:20:55,521 Ten. 455 00:20:58,929 --> 00:21:01,921 People will kill each other for a parking space in New York. 456 00:21:02,089 --> 00:21:05,638 Because they think, "If I don't get this one, I may never get a space." 457 00:21:06,049 --> 00:21:09,962 You know."I'll circle for months until somebody goes out to the Hamptons." 458 00:21:10,609 --> 00:21:14,682 Everybody in New York City knows there's gotta be way more cars... 459 00:21:14,849 --> 00:21:16,077 ...than parking spaces. 460 00:21:16,249 --> 00:21:19,286 You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. 461 00:21:19,449 --> 00:21:23,601 It's like musical chairs, except everybody sat down around 1964. 462 00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:28,003 The problem is, car manufacturers are building hundreds of thousands... 463 00:21:28,169 --> 00:21:29,284 ...of new cars every year. 464 00:21:29,449 --> 00:21:31,883 They're not making any new spaces. 465 00:21:32,049 --> 00:21:34,404 That's what they should work on. Wouldn't that be great? 466 00:21:34,569 --> 00:21:37,322 You go to the auto show, they got that big revolving turntable... 467 00:21:37,489 --> 00:21:39,207 ...and there's nothing on it. 468 00:21:39,369 --> 00:21:41,758 "New from Chrysler: a space." 469 00:22:27,649 --> 00:22:29,640 Subtitles by SDI Media Group