1 00:00:02,529 --> 00:00:04,247 Here's what happened /ast week. 2 00:00:04,409 --> 00:00:07,481 George and I went up to NBC, and we told them the idea for the series. 3 00:00:07,649 --> 00:00:08,843 We're waiting to sign the contract. 4 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,807 - Jerry, I want you to sign that contract. - We're gonna sign it. 5 00:00:11,969 --> 00:00:13,960 In fact, George is out with the woman from NBC right now. 6 00:00:14,169 --> 00:00:15,921 I'm afraid we're gonna have to pass. 7 00:00:16,089 --> 00:00:19,001 - You're passing? - Well, it's much too low. 8 00:00:19,169 --> 00:00:20,966 That's it for this piece of junk. I've had it. 9 00:00:21,129 --> 00:00:23,324 - Is it the one your parents gave you? - It never works. 10 00:00:23,489 --> 00:00:25,445 - Where's that watch we bought you? - It's at the jeweller. 11 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,008 I would like somebody to hit me. 12 00:00:27,169 --> 00:00:28,761 What's the matter with this Davola guy? 13 00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,157 He's after Jerry now. 14 00:00:30,369 --> 00:00:33,759 I never had a back problem until that night I slept on the convertible sofa. 15 00:00:35,409 --> 00:00:38,082 Cuban cigars. It's a present from my father. 16 00:00:38,249 --> 00:00:39,364 - Here you go. - What, cigars? 17 00:00:39,529 --> 00:00:40,518 Yeah, Cubans. 18 00:00:43,809 --> 00:00:45,003 - What's wrong? - The Velcro. 19 00:00:45,169 --> 00:00:47,808 I can't stand Velcro. That tearing sound. 20 00:00:47,969 --> 00:00:50,244 Now, listen to me. I'm negotiating. 21 00:00:50,409 --> 00:00:53,560 Negotiation. This is what you do in business. 22 00:00:53,729 --> 00:00:55,481 - Leave all my stuff here? - Leave it. 23 00:00:55,649 --> 00:00:57,401 Tell us about the trip. How's Dr. Reston? 24 00:00:57,569 --> 00:00:59,082 He has this power over me, okay? 25 00:00:59,249 --> 00:01:02,605 He has this way of manipulating every little word that I say. 26 00:01:02,769 --> 00:01:04,521 He's like a Svenjolly. 27 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:07,249 Tell this guy you're seeing somebody else. That's the easiest way. 28 00:01:07,409 --> 00:01:09,445 His name is Kramer. 29 00:01:09,609 --> 00:01:11,406 I want you to tell this young man to give me a call. 30 00:01:11,609 --> 00:01:13,964 My wallet's gone! My wallet's gone! 31 00:01:14,129 --> 00:01:15,118 Where did you get that watch? 32 00:01:15,449 --> 00:01:17,485 I found it in the garbage can. 33 00:01:17,649 --> 00:01:21,119 What kind of an idiot throws away a perfectly good watch? 34 00:01:22,089 --> 00:01:25,479 It's an entire industry of bad gifts, all those executive gifts. 35 00:01:27,009 --> 00:01:29,728 Any stupid, goofy, brass, wood thing. 36 00:01:29,889 --> 00:01:31,959 They put a piece of green felt on the bottom. 37 00:01:32,369 --> 00:01:36,123 "It's a golf, desk, tie and stress organizer, Dad." 38 00:01:36,289 --> 00:01:39,361 Well, to me, nothing compares with the paperweight as a bad gift. 39 00:01:39,529 --> 00:01:42,566 There's no better way than a paperweight to express to someone... 40 00:01:42,729 --> 00:01:45,880 ...that, "I refuse to put any thought into this at all." 41 00:01:46,929 --> 00:01:51,127 Where are these people working that papers are blowing right off of desks? 42 00:01:51,289 --> 00:01:55,328 Are the desks screwed to the back of a flatbed truck going down the highway? 43 00:01:55,489 --> 00:01:57,719 Are they typing in the crow's-nest of a clipper ship? 44 00:01:57,889 --> 00:01:59,368 What do you need a paperweight for? 45 00:02:05,049 --> 00:02:07,119 I don't understand this jeweller, Jimmy Sherman. 46 00:02:07,289 --> 00:02:11,441 He brings a watch, takes over a week to fix it. He fixed yours in one day. 47 00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,964 Oh, you know these jewellers. They're enigmas. 48 00:02:14,129 --> 00:02:16,643 They're mysteries wrapped in a riddle. 49 00:02:18,249 --> 00:02:20,319 - She's very attractive. - She's okay. 50 00:02:20,489 --> 00:02:22,047 - Just okay? - She's nice. 51 00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:24,200 - She's better than nice. - She's all right. 52 00:02:24,369 --> 00:02:26,360 - She's beautiful. - She's not beautiful. 53 00:02:26,529 --> 00:02:29,043 - I think she's beautiful. - So you ask her out. 54 00:02:29,209 --> 00:02:30,767 - I'm not gonna ask her out. - Why not? 55 00:02:30,929 --> 00:02:33,238 If you don't think she's beautiful, something's wrong. 56 00:02:33,409 --> 00:02:35,320 She's pretty. She's not beautiful. 57 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,128 I should drop dead if she's not beautiful. 58 00:02:38,289 --> 00:02:41,884 - I think that's a little extreme. - She's all right. 59 00:02:42,049 --> 00:02:45,644 Two exact same watches. He tells you a week and him a day. 60 00:02:45,809 --> 00:02:47,606 How could that be? 61 00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:49,441 Something's fishy about this. 62 00:02:50,929 --> 00:02:52,282 He said what? 63 00:02:52,449 --> 00:02:55,168 - "The hell with them." - "The hell with them"? 64 00:02:55,729 --> 00:02:59,039 - Those were his exact words. - Oh, boy. 65 00:02:59,209 --> 00:03:02,565 He said, "We've got 500 shows to choose from. 66 00:03:02,729 --> 00:03:07,484 Why should we give two guys with no idea or experience more money?" 67 00:03:07,649 --> 00:03:09,560 He was pretty emphatic? 68 00:03:09,729 --> 00:03:12,163 - He pounded on his desk. - He pounded? 69 00:03:12,329 --> 00:03:14,604 I told you to take the offer. 70 00:03:14,769 --> 00:03:18,648 Look, I had nothing to do with this. It wasn't my decision. 71 00:03:19,089 --> 00:03:22,126 It was Jerry. Jerry told me. I'm the creative guy. 72 00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:25,087 - He handles the business end. - You said it was insulting. 73 00:03:25,249 --> 00:03:29,481 I was quoting him. Why would I be insulted? I'm never insulted. 74 00:03:29,649 --> 00:03:33,005 You could call me "baldy,"dump soup on my head. Nothing insults me. 75 00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:36,241 - Well, there's nothing I can do. - Don't they make a counteroffer? 76 00:03:36,409 --> 00:03:39,799 How can he just cancel the deal? What kind of a maniac is this guy? 77 00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:43,166 - He just says no, and that's it? - Yeah, that's the way Russell is. 78 00:03:43,329 --> 00:03:46,162 - He doesn't like to play games. - He has to play. He can't not play. 79 00:03:46,329 --> 00:03:47,842 We're playing. 80 00:03:48,049 --> 00:03:50,085 I gotta see him. How do I get in touch with him? 81 00:03:50,289 --> 00:03:53,008 - You'll have to wait till Monday. - No. I can't wait till Monday. 82 00:03:53,169 --> 00:03:56,047 That's impossible. I gotta talk to him now. Where does he live? 83 00:03:56,209 --> 00:03:58,359 I can't give you his address. 84 00:03:58,929 --> 00:04:02,001 - Give me that address. - Hey, give me that! 85 00:04:04,489 --> 00:04:07,128 He just wants to talk to you. I couldn't talk him out of it. 86 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:11,680 So you just tell him that you're my boyfriend and that we're in love, okay? 87 00:04:11,849 --> 00:04:13,965 - Can you do that? - Yeah, I'm your boyfriend. Yeah. 88 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:17,326 - Okay. - Have we been intimate? 89 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,079 Yeah. Yeah, we've been intimate. 90 00:04:21,249 --> 00:04:23,558 All right, how often do we do it? 91 00:04:24,689 --> 00:04:27,408 Kramer, how is that important? Honestly, do you really think... 92 00:04:27,569 --> 00:04:29,480 - ... he's going to ask-? - He's a psychiatrist. 93 00:04:29,649 --> 00:04:31,685 They're interested in stuff like that. 94 00:04:32,329 --> 00:04:34,638 All right. All right. We do it... 95 00:04:35,329 --> 00:04:37,399 ...five times a week, okay? 96 00:04:37,649 --> 00:04:40,368 - Oh, baby. - Oh, my... 97 00:04:41,249 --> 00:04:43,205 All right, listen. 98 00:04:43,369 --> 00:04:45,644 - Just tell me what you'll say. - I know what to say. 99 00:04:45,809 --> 00:04:48,846 - No, but I would like to hear it. - I don't wanna say it out loud. 100 00:04:49,009 --> 00:04:52,479 It kills the spontaneity. You know, Gleason, he never rehearsed. 101 00:04:52,929 --> 00:04:54,999 - Go ahead. Do it. - Okay. You talk to him. 102 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,239 - I'll talk to him. - Hey, how's your hair? 103 00:04:57,409 --> 00:04:59,206 Well, yeah, it's good. 104 00:04:59,369 --> 00:05:03,157 You're not the type who should be playing with matches, seriously. 105 00:05:04,769 --> 00:05:07,727 Yes. Dr. Reston. 106 00:05:08,249 --> 00:05:09,602 Is he in? 107 00:05:09,769 --> 00:05:13,000 Well, this is Kramer, and he's expecting my call. 108 00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:26,919 - Is he? - Yes, yes, Dr. Reston. 109 00:05:27,609 --> 00:05:29,122 Well, hello there. 110 00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:32,520 - Well, I'm a good friend of Elaine's. - No, no, not friends. 111 00:05:32,689 --> 00:05:37,160 We're actually- We're not friends. We're much more than friends. 112 00:05:37,489 --> 00:05:41,846 And... I'm afraid we have a bit of a problem. 113 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:45,081 Well, the point is doctor, I'm very much in love with Elaine... 114 00:05:45,249 --> 00:05:49,322 ...and she's very much in love with me, and, well... 115 00:05:49,489 --> 00:05:53,118 ...we would appreciate it if you would cease and desist... 116 00:05:53,289 --> 00:05:56,042 ...and allow us to pursue our courtship unfettered. 117 00:05:56,689 --> 00:06:01,160 If not, I can assure you, doctor, that I can make things unpleasant for you... 118 00:06:01,329 --> 00:06:04,844 ...and your staff, if you have one. 119 00:06:06,249 --> 00:06:09,480 Yes. Yeah, but the point that I- 120 00:06:11,809 --> 00:06:15,484 Well, no. Well, yeah, that's- It's possible. 121 00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:20,645 Well, I suppose I could, but I'd have to shift a few things around. 122 00:06:21,209 --> 00:06:25,487 Wait. Hold on for a second, will you? Go ahead. Yeah. 123 00:06:26,129 --> 00:06:27,482 All right. 124 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:31,683 Yeah. Yeah. Well, okay. I look forward to it too. 125 00:06:32,449 --> 00:06:34,121 Okay, so long. 126 00:06:34,289 --> 00:06:36,359 What happened? What did he say? What's going on? 127 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:40,158 - Okay, he wants to get together. - Get together? 128 00:06:40,329 --> 00:06:42,240 - Why? - You know, he wants to talk. 129 00:06:42,409 --> 00:06:45,481 Why didn't you just say no? 130 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,519 That's interesting. 131 00:06:50,569 --> 00:06:53,879 - Did you enjoy your croissant? - It was different. 132 00:06:54,609 --> 00:06:56,839 - And how was yours? - Oh, very good. 133 00:06:57,009 --> 00:06:59,364 Try our mousse. It'll change your life expectancy. 134 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:02,438 No, thanks. Just the check. 135 00:07:05,649 --> 00:07:07,321 What's the matter with you? 136 00:07:07,689 --> 00:07:09,486 - What? - Why didn't you didn't flirt? 137 00:07:09,649 --> 00:07:11,207 - Come on. - She was flirting with you. 138 00:07:11,369 --> 00:07:13,405 - Why didn't you say something? - What would I say? 139 00:07:13,569 --> 00:07:16,402 - You just sat there. - Well, you made me uncomfortable. 140 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:19,641 You're a comedian. Couldn't you come up with something? 141 00:07:20,169 --> 00:07:23,047 - Where's the bathroom? - In the back, on your right. 142 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,480 - Dad. - Will you stop it. Jerry, let go. 143 00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:31,765 - Jerry. - Would you let me pay just once? 144 00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:34,682 - You're out of your mind. - You don't even have a wallet. 145 00:07:34,849 --> 00:07:36,521 - Don't worry about it. - What'll you do? 146 00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,600 What's the difference? We'll figure it out. 147 00:07:38,769 --> 00:07:41,727 - You're not paying. - All right, fine. You figure it out. 148 00:07:41,889 --> 00:07:44,528 I'd be curious to know how you pick up a check with no money. 149 00:07:44,689 --> 00:07:47,442 Because if this works, the whole monetary system's obsolete. 150 00:07:47,609 --> 00:07:49,725 We're back to wampum. 151 00:07:50,089 --> 00:07:52,045 I'm going to the bathroom. 152 00:07:53,049 --> 00:07:55,768 How the hell am I gonna pay for this? 153 00:08:00,529 --> 00:08:03,521 They give you some portion here, huh? 154 00:08:04,929 --> 00:08:08,080 Uncle Leo, I hope I wasn't rude that day I bumped into you on the street. 155 00:08:08,249 --> 00:08:11,525 - I really did have to get to a meeting. - Oh, no, no, I understand. 156 00:08:11,689 --> 00:08:13,407 I got plenty of friends in show business. 157 00:08:13,569 --> 00:08:15,480 I know you're all very busy. 158 00:08:15,649 --> 00:08:18,163 So you found that watch in a garbage can, huh? 159 00:08:18,329 --> 00:08:22,288 Yeah. In fact, it was right after I ran into you. 160 00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:25,278 You know, a friend of mine has a watch just like that. 161 00:08:25,449 --> 00:08:27,804 I'd love to replace it for him as a gift. 162 00:08:27,969 --> 00:08:30,802 Well, I haven't seen too many like these. 163 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,039 Yeah, I know. 164 00:08:33,529 --> 00:08:36,043 Maybe you wanna sell me that one? 165 00:08:36,209 --> 00:08:38,598 Oh, sure. 166 00:08:40,289 --> 00:08:44,965 Hang on a second. I got a little proposition for you. 167 00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,958 There is a George Bonanza to see you. 168 00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:53,485 - Costanza. Costanza. - George Costanza. 169 00:08:53,649 --> 00:08:56,038 The guy who pitched the show with stories about nothing. 170 00:08:56,209 --> 00:08:59,724 - Jerry Seinfeld's friend. - Seinfeld friend. 171 00:08:59,889 --> 00:09:02,005 He says call him Monday. 172 00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:06,719 Mr. Dalrymple, I have to talk to you. It's about the show. 173 00:09:06,929 --> 00:09:11,605 It was all a terrible misunderstanding. Just five minutes of your time. 174 00:09:12,209 --> 00:09:14,484 Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Dalrymple. 175 00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,605 Very good, sir. 176 00:09:18,769 --> 00:09:21,408 You don't understand. I can't allow my son to pay for me. 177 00:09:21,569 --> 00:09:25,164 Look, as soon as I get back to Florida, I promise you, I'll mail you a check. 178 00:09:25,329 --> 00:09:28,366 Why don't you just let him pay, and then you can pay him back. 179 00:09:28,529 --> 00:09:30,724 - No, no. He won't let me do that. - Why don't you... 180 00:09:30,889 --> 00:09:33,119 ...put the money in his pants pocket unsuspectingly? 181 00:09:33,289 --> 00:09:36,520 - He could wash them. - We are running a reputable business. 182 00:09:36,689 --> 00:09:39,647 Don't tell me about business. I sold raincoats for 35 years. 183 00:09:39,809 --> 00:09:43,358 - But you did not give them away. - You don't understand- 184 00:09:43,529 --> 00:09:46,521 I cannot get involved with you and your family. 185 00:09:46,689 --> 00:09:48,839 Okay, now, look. Don't take too long. 186 00:09:49,009 --> 00:09:51,125 Look at this building. What is this? 187 00:09:51,289 --> 00:09:53,007 I don't know. It's a building. 188 00:09:53,169 --> 00:09:55,729 - The doors are on a diagonal. - So what? 189 00:09:56,209 --> 00:09:58,769 It's architecturally incorrect. 190 00:09:59,609 --> 00:10:01,520 Just go. 191 00:10:07,529 --> 00:10:10,362 Is this a bad time? I hope I'm not disturbing anything. 192 00:10:10,529 --> 00:10:12,838 We were about to sit down to dinner. 193 00:10:17,169 --> 00:10:22,402 - This is Cynthia. - Oh, hi. Hi. Nice to meet you. 194 00:10:23,409 --> 00:10:25,240 - What are you having? Veal? - No. 195 00:10:25,809 --> 00:10:28,118 - Looks like veal. - It's not veal. 196 00:10:29,169 --> 00:10:31,399 Well, it's a good-looking piece of meat. 197 00:10:31,769 --> 00:10:34,044 Wow, this is some place. A duplex, huh? 198 00:10:34,209 --> 00:10:36,928 Look, stairs in an apartment. All my life I dreamed about... 199 00:10:37,089 --> 00:10:40,843 ...having steps in an apartment. Even one step. Sunken living room. 200 00:10:41,409 --> 00:10:43,877 Although one step is not all that sunken. 201 00:10:45,129 --> 00:10:49,042 - Who gave you my address? - No, that's a fair question. It is. 202 00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:52,679 Jerry. Yeah. Jerry's a friend of mine. 203 00:10:53,129 --> 00:10:56,644 He gave it to me. Unbelievable how many addresses this guy has. 204 00:10:56,809 --> 00:11:00,199 He's got Marlon Brando's. I could go to Marlon Brando's house if I wanted. 205 00:11:00,369 --> 00:11:05,318 Of course, I wouldn't. The guy is- Obviously, the guy has his problems. 206 00:11:06,129 --> 00:11:07,960 So you wanna talk about the show? 207 00:11:08,129 --> 00:11:10,085 Well, you know, it's really very funny. 208 00:11:10,249 --> 00:11:12,888 Because, you know what we got here, really? 209 00:11:13,049 --> 00:11:15,404 We really just have a terrible misunderstanding. See... 210 00:11:15,569 --> 00:11:18,845 ...when I passed on the deal, I thought that's what Jerry wanted me to say. 211 00:11:19,009 --> 00:11:22,684 - I misinterpreted. - Russell, where's the TV Guide? 212 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,317 What time is it? 8:30. I'll tell you what's on. You got... 213 00:11:25,489 --> 00:11:28,003 ...Major Dad, B/ossom- Very funny program. 214 00:11:28,169 --> 00:11:30,364 - B/ossom's on Monday. - Are you sure? 215 00:11:30,529 --> 00:11:33,407 Look who I'm talking to. The president of NBC. 216 00:11:33,569 --> 00:11:38,768 Mr. Costanza, it's too late anyway. I made a deal with another writing team. 217 00:11:38,929 --> 00:11:41,887 All right, look. We're people, you and me. 218 00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:44,483 Businessmen, colleagues, if I may. 219 00:11:44,649 --> 00:11:47,243 Let's not quibble. We'll do it for the $13,000. 220 00:11:47,409 --> 00:11:49,969 Thirteen thousand, and I never came up here. We never talked. 221 00:11:50,129 --> 00:11:52,438 You take good care. It's nice seeing you again. 222 00:11:52,609 --> 00:11:54,759 - Nice meeting you. Cynthia, right? - Now, look. 223 00:11:54,929 --> 00:11:57,363 These deals are already made. 224 00:11:57,529 --> 00:11:59,645 All right. Let me just say this. 225 00:12:00,049 --> 00:12:02,927 Ten thousand dollars. I'm going below what you wanted to pay. 226 00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:05,967 You're having your dinner. Have your veal or whatever it is. Enjoy. 227 00:12:06,129 --> 00:12:08,245 - Mr. Costanza. - All right. That's it. 228 00:12:08,409 --> 00:12:12,925 All right. Good, $8000. Cynthia, again, nice meeting you. 229 00:12:13,089 --> 00:12:16,764 Have I commented on the shoes? I love suede. It's so thick and rich. 230 00:12:16,929 --> 00:12:20,001 Do you ever rub it against the grain? 231 00:12:20,569 --> 00:12:23,402 Russell, can we eat? 232 00:12:24,889 --> 00:12:28,768 - All right, 8000. - You made Jerry very happy. 233 00:12:36,529 --> 00:12:39,089 Could I just use your bathroom for a moment? 234 00:12:39,369 --> 00:12:44,045 All right, 200. That's as high as I can go. I think you're being unreasonable. 235 00:12:44,209 --> 00:12:47,645 Jerry, I'd give you the watch. It's not the money. I happen to like it. 236 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,881 Look, I happen to know how much that watch costs. It's a $60 watch. 237 00:12:51,049 --> 00:12:53,483 You paid 40 to get it fixed. That's $100. 238 00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:57,722 - I'm offering you 200. - I never seen a band like this. 239 00:12:57,889 --> 00:13:02,405 All right, 300. Plus 50 for the repair. Three-fifty, that's it. 240 00:13:02,569 --> 00:13:04,287 Do you have it on you? 241 00:13:05,009 --> 00:13:06,761 Yeah, I think I do. 242 00:13:07,249 --> 00:13:10,207 This is unbelievable. 243 00:13:12,049 --> 00:13:14,119 What the hell is going on here? 244 00:13:20,249 --> 00:13:22,365 Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. 245 00:13:22,529 --> 00:13:24,520 - Thank you for coming in. - Thank you. 246 00:13:24,689 --> 00:13:26,725 - Please sit down. - Alrighty. 247 00:13:38,929 --> 00:13:41,523 Could I offer you something to drink? Coffee, anything? 248 00:13:41,769 --> 00:13:46,285 Okay, yeah. I'll have a... Do you have a decaf cappuccino? 249 00:13:48,249 --> 00:13:50,365 I don't think we have that. 250 00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,640 Well, that's a little strange. 251 00:13:53,009 --> 00:13:58,242 - Why does that surprise you? - Well, it's a very popular drink. 252 00:13:58,689 --> 00:14:02,079 - This is an office. - That's true. 253 00:14:02,769 --> 00:14:05,567 - But, you know, I can't help but think- - So tell me, Mr. Kramer- 254 00:14:05,729 --> 00:14:07,082 Okay, sure. 255 00:14:07,729 --> 00:14:10,766 Tell me all about you and Elaine. 256 00:14:10,929 --> 00:14:13,363 Oh, alrighty... 257 00:14:15,969 --> 00:14:18,324 Well, what we have here, doctor, is... 258 00:14:18,729 --> 00:14:22,085 - ... an extraordinary situation. - Is it? 259 00:14:22,249 --> 00:14:24,001 Oh, you'd better believe it. 260 00:14:33,129 --> 00:14:35,518 You really have a terrible voice. 261 00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:37,680 Do I know you? 262 00:14:37,889 --> 00:14:40,801 - I don't think so. - Because you really look familiar. 263 00:14:41,369 --> 00:14:44,008 Oh, well, maybe you've seen me. My face is on... 264 00:14:44,489 --> 00:14:47,322 - ... Mount Rushmore. - Yes, of course. That's it. 265 00:14:47,489 --> 00:14:50,686 I guess I'm just used to seeing it on a much larger scale. 266 00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,602 Oh, yeah, right. I replaced Teddy Roosevelt. 267 00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:55,168 Oh, really? 268 00:14:55,449 --> 00:14:58,885 Trustbuster. Bust this. 269 00:15:05,609 --> 00:15:08,043 You know, I never thought of it like that before, doctor. 270 00:15:08,209 --> 00:15:11,599 - You are absolutely right. - I'm glad we agree. 271 00:15:11,889 --> 00:15:14,164 Would you like a cigar? They're Cubans. 272 00:15:14,329 --> 00:15:16,320 - I'd love one. - Yeah. 273 00:15:16,489 --> 00:15:20,846 I think Elaine is a wonderful woman. You two will make a wonderful couple. 274 00:15:23,329 --> 00:15:25,081 If you ever feel... 275 00:15:25,649 --> 00:15:27,958 ...you need to talk to someone... 276 00:15:28,529 --> 00:15:30,599 ...about anything, you have my number. 277 00:15:31,089 --> 00:15:32,920 Well, that's very kind of you. 278 00:15:34,769 --> 00:15:36,680 These are good, huh? 279 00:15:46,089 --> 00:15:49,923 I cannot believe I'm doing this. I never meet people like this. 280 00:15:50,089 --> 00:15:54,162 - You're not a nut, are you? - No, I don't think so. 281 00:15:58,049 --> 00:16:00,517 I can't believe I'm doing this. I never do stuff like this. 282 00:16:00,689 --> 00:16:04,967 Really? I give my number to just about every customer who comes in here. 283 00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:07,406 - You don't seem that desperate. - Oh, yeah. 284 00:16:07,569 --> 00:16:11,721 Actually I'm a little disappointed. I kind of had my eye on Uncle Leo. 285 00:16:12,609 --> 00:16:15,123 Well, I'll give you a call, and thanks for the fish. 286 00:16:15,289 --> 00:16:17,439 - You know why fish are so thin? - Why? 287 00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:19,565 They eat fish. 288 00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:43,168 - Hey. - What happened? 289 00:16:43,329 --> 00:16:45,285 - What took you so long? - He's a terrific guy. 290 00:16:45,449 --> 00:16:47,724 What are you talking about? What did he say? 291 00:16:47,889 --> 00:16:50,801 - We talked about a lot of things. - You talked about a lot of things. 292 00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,925 Well, did you talk about us? 293 00:16:54,169 --> 00:16:58,128 I'm in /ove. I just met her outside in the street. Her name's E/aine. 294 00:16:58,289 --> 00:17:01,361 She is the most beautifu/ woman I have ever seen. 295 00:17:02,009 --> 00:17:03,840 Did you say E/aine? 296 00:17:04,929 --> 00:17:08,046 How come with the psychiatrist, every "the hour"is only 50 minutes? 297 00:17:08,369 --> 00:17:11,042 What do they do with that 10 minutes that they have left? 298 00:17:11,209 --> 00:17:14,485 Do they just sit there going, "Boy, that guy was crazy. 299 00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:18,884 I couldn't believe the things he was saying. What a nut. 300 00:17:19,049 --> 00:17:21,802 Who's coming in next? Oh, no, another headcase." 301 00:17:24,849 --> 00:17:27,522 - You should've told me it didn't work. - I know, I know. 302 00:17:27,689 --> 00:17:30,840 - You didn't have to throw it out. - I was always late. It was frustrating. 303 00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,840 I'm sorry. I really am. 304 00:17:33,009 --> 00:17:35,569 - That must be Leo. - I would've taken you to the airport. 305 00:17:35,729 --> 00:17:37,924 - He has nothing to do. - Neither do I. 306 00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:39,642 - Yeah? - It's George. 307 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,481 Come on up. It's George. 308 00:17:41,649 --> 00:17:44,368 - Oh, George. - Whatever happened with NBC? 309 00:17:44,809 --> 00:17:47,801 - George turned it down. - He turned it down? 310 00:17:47,969 --> 00:17:50,278 - Why did he do that? - Because of Ted Danson. 311 00:17:50,449 --> 00:17:54,044 - What does he have to do with it? - Maybe he doesn't like Ted Danson. 312 00:17:54,209 --> 00:17:56,598 Who knows? Maybe we'll wind up getting more money. 313 00:17:57,049 --> 00:17:59,199 - Hey. - Hey, Georgie boy. How are you? 314 00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:01,166 Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld. How are you? 315 00:18:01,329 --> 00:18:03,479 What's the matter with you? 316 00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:06,522 - What did I do? - What about NBC? Hear anything? 317 00:18:06,689 --> 00:18:08,839 Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did. 318 00:18:09,529 --> 00:18:11,724 We got a deal. 319 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:16,881 You see, he had the right idea. Hold out. 320 00:18:17,049 --> 00:18:19,085 That's how you get the big money, huh, George? 321 00:18:19,249 --> 00:18:22,286 - Please, Morty. - He knows how to talk to these people. 322 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,679 No one's gonna take advantage of Georgie. 323 00:18:25,009 --> 00:18:27,728 I'm just happy to be working with your talented son... 324 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:31,598 ...who is not doing this for the money. That is so refreshing. 325 00:18:31,769 --> 00:18:33,725 - So, what did we get? - Eight thousand dollars. 326 00:18:33,889 --> 00:18:37,518 - Beautiful. - That's for the two of us. 327 00:18:37,969 --> 00:18:41,405 - Four thousand apiece? - Let me see if I understand this. 328 00:18:41,569 --> 00:18:45,448 In other words, you held out for less money. 329 00:18:45,929 --> 00:18:49,365 - I was wrong. You were right. - The basic idea of negotiation... 330 00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:53,966 ...as I understand it is to get your price to go up. 331 00:18:54,729 --> 00:18:57,197 - You're smart. I'm dumb. - This is how they negotiate... 332 00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,883 ...in the Bizarro World. 333 00:19:00,049 --> 00:19:02,040 That's gotta be Leo. 334 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:04,040 - Yeah. - It's Leo. 335 00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:06,564 - All right, we're coming down. - Let's get going. 336 00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:10,278 Dad, before we go, I got a little something for you. 337 00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:12,519 - A present. - A present? 338 00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:18,558 Hey, look at this, a wallet. Exactly what I needed. 339 00:19:18,729 --> 00:19:20,606 - You see? - Come on, you lost your wallet. 340 00:19:20,769 --> 00:19:23,602 - I figured I'd get you another. - I hope you didn't spend too much. 341 00:19:23,769 --> 00:19:27,079 This is one of the most thoughtful gifts anyone's ever given me. 342 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:30,924 - He's something, your son, isn't he? - All right. Let's go. 343 00:19:31,089 --> 00:19:34,001 - You're a terrific kid. - Yeah, he's something, isn't he? 344 00:19:34,169 --> 00:19:36,524 How can anybody not like you? 345 00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:38,800 - You're very special. - Yeah. 346 00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,324 I'm good for about $4000. 347 00:19:42,089 --> 00:19:46,799 - Hey, let's go. It's 12:22. - All right, Leo. 348 00:19:46,969 --> 00:19:49,767 - Hey, Uncle Leo. How you doing? - Hi, hi. I got it. 349 00:19:49,929 --> 00:19:52,682 This is some beautiful parking spot you've got here. 350 00:19:52,849 --> 00:19:54,760 - I hate to give it up. - Yeah. 351 00:19:54,929 --> 00:19:56,726 Dad, you're sure you don't need more money? 352 00:19:56,889 --> 00:19:59,119 - Jerry. - All right, I'm just joking. 353 00:19:59,289 --> 00:20:00,802 Listen, have a nice trip. 354 00:20:00,969 --> 00:20:04,928 - Bye, Mrs. Seinfeld. Take care. - Thanks again for the wallet. 355 00:20:05,089 --> 00:20:07,319 - Morty, always a pleasure. - Yes. 356 00:20:07,489 --> 00:20:09,719 Take care, now. So long. 357 00:20:10,449 --> 00:20:14,328 - Yeah, like he'd take your money. - He took it. I put $400 in the wallet. 358 00:20:14,489 --> 00:20:17,208 He lost all that cash. It was the only way I could give it back. 359 00:20:17,369 --> 00:20:21,920 - Otherwise, he wouldn't accept it. - I'd love to see the look on his face. 360 00:20:24,209 --> 00:20:26,165 - You believe this? - What? 361 00:20:26,329 --> 00:20:28,399 - It's Velcro. - You're kidding. 362 00:20:28,569 --> 00:20:32,323 Who needs this? Leo, let's go. 363 00:20:46,049 --> 00:20:50,281 The main difference between women's and men's wallets is the photo section. 364 00:20:50,729 --> 00:20:54,404 True? Women carry with them a photo of every person they've ever met... 365 00:20:54,569 --> 00:20:57,606 ...every day in their whole life since the beginning of time. 366 00:20:57,769 --> 00:20:59,885 Every picture's out of date. You know what I mean? 367 00:21:00,049 --> 00:21:03,246 "Here's my cousin, 3 years old. She's in the Marines now. 368 00:21:03,409 --> 00:21:07,004 This is my dog. He died during the Johnson administration." 369 00:21:07,409 --> 00:21:09,798 You get stopped by a cop. No license, no registration. 370 00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:12,039 "Here's 56 people that know me." 371 00:21:12,969 --> 00:21:16,359 Cop goes, "Just wanted to make sure you had some friends. Move it along. 372 00:21:16,929 --> 00:21:18,760 Routine pal check."