1 00:00:04,009 --> 00:00:06,398 The tuxedo is a woman's view that men are all the same. 2 00:00:06,569 --> 00:00:08,446 We might as well dress them that way. 3 00:00:09,289 --> 00:00:12,964 To me, a wedding is the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride... 4 00:00:13,129 --> 00:00:14,642 ...and some guy. 5 00:00:15,329 --> 00:00:18,719 The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women... 6 00:00:18,889 --> 00:00:20,880 ...because they know that men are undependable. 7 00:00:21,169 --> 00:00:22,727 So in case the groom chickens out... 8 00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:25,961 ...everybody takes one step over, and she marries the next guy. 9 00:00:26,329 --> 00:00:29,162 That's why the wedding vow isn't, "Do you take Bill Simpson?" 10 00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:31,285 It's, "Do you take this man?" 11 00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:39,006 Leave a message. I'l cal you back. Thanks. 12 00:00:39,209 --> 00:00:42,599 Jerry? Joe Davola. 13 00:00:45,369 --> 00:00:47,837 I have a hair on my tongue. 14 00:00:48,009 --> 00:00:49,283 Can't get it off. 15 00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:51,360 You know how much I hate that? 16 00:00:51,609 --> 00:00:54,601 Of course you do. You put it there. 17 00:00:54,769 --> 00:00:56,646 I know what you said about me, Seinfeld. 18 00:00:56,809 --> 00:00:59,721 I know you bad-mouthed me to the execs at NBC. 19 00:00:59,889 --> 00:01:02,323 Put the kibosh on my deal. 20 00:01:02,489 --> 00:01:05,322 Now I'm gonna put the kibosh on you. 21 00:01:05,849 --> 00:01:07,680 You know I've kiboshed before. 22 00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:11,162 And I wil kibosh again. 23 00:01:17,449 --> 00:01:19,440 - So, what do you think? - About what? 24 00:01:19,649 --> 00:01:21,526 - About the opera. - I don't wanna go. 25 00:01:21,689 --> 00:01:23,884 - You gotta go. - I don't like the opera. 26 00:01:24,049 --> 00:01:26,722 What are they singing for? Who sings? 27 00:01:27,049 --> 00:01:29,483 You got something to say, say it. 28 00:01:30,129 --> 00:01:32,484 You don't understand. That's the way they talk in Italy. 29 00:01:32,649 --> 00:01:34,640 They sing to one another. 30 00:01:40,889 --> 00:01:42,083 All right. All right. 31 00:01:42,249 --> 00:01:44,240 That's the way they was. You listen to the language. 32 00:01:44,409 --> 00:01:46,525 It's got that sing-songy quality to it. 33 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,884 It's the language, Jerry. The language. 34 00:01:49,329 --> 00:01:52,799 - So why don't they talk like that now? - It's too hard to keep up. 35 00:01:52,969 --> 00:01:55,483 You know, they got- They were tired. 36 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:57,677 - Better get that. - Yeah. 37 00:01:57,849 --> 00:01:59,885 - It's me. - Come on up. 38 00:02:00,049 --> 00:02:02,199 - So? - I don't know. 39 00:02:02,369 --> 00:02:06,647 Come on. It's opening night. Black-tie, Pagliacci. The great clown. 40 00:02:06,809 --> 00:02:09,846 The great, sad, tragic clown, like you. 41 00:02:11,369 --> 00:02:13,405 Well, that's very flattering. 42 00:02:13,569 --> 00:02:15,605 How'd you get tickets? They're impossible to get. 43 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,760 Well, I have many associates. 44 00:02:18,969 --> 00:02:20,960 I don't know. Opera, it's not my kind of thing. 45 00:02:21,169 --> 00:02:23,160 Then I'm gonna call the whole thing off. 46 00:02:23,329 --> 00:02:25,843 Wait a minute. What about George, Susan and Elaine? 47 00:02:26,009 --> 00:02:27,965 - Why do you need me? - You're the nucleus... 48 00:02:28,129 --> 00:02:31,360 ...the straw that stirs the drink. You're the "magliana." 49 00:02:31,649 --> 00:02:34,038 I guess if I'm the magliana, I should go. 50 00:02:34,209 --> 00:02:35,961 All right. All right. 51 00:02:36,129 --> 00:02:37,357 - Hi. - Hey. 52 00:02:37,529 --> 00:02:38,723 You got the tickets, right? 53 00:02:38,889 --> 00:02:42,404 - No, I don't have them on me. - What? That's why I came over here. 54 00:02:42,569 --> 00:02:44,605 My friend's got them. I'll pick them up tomorrow. 55 00:02:44,769 --> 00:02:48,728 I was gonna surprise Joey with them. You got an extra one, right? 56 00:02:48,889 --> 00:02:50,288 Oh, yeah! 57 00:02:50,449 --> 00:02:54,840 So I finally get to meet your pal Joey. 58 00:02:55,369 --> 00:02:57,325 - It's killing you, isn't it? - Yeah. 59 00:02:57,489 --> 00:03:00,481 So Joey's a great lover of the opera. 60 00:03:00,649 --> 00:03:02,560 Listen... 61 00:03:03,289 --> 00:03:04,642 ...I got news for you. 62 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,561 It's nice to be involved with somebody... 63 00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:09,448 ...who's interested in something other than Nick at Nite. 64 00:03:11,369 --> 00:03:13,200 You know, he's got a grip on reality. 65 00:03:13,369 --> 00:03:16,566 He's- He's happy. He's well-adjusted. 66 00:03:25,929 --> 00:03:27,248 Looking forward to meeting him. 67 00:03:27,409 --> 00:03:28,967 I gotta go. 68 00:03:29,569 --> 00:03:30,718 Where? What's the rush? 69 00:03:30,889 --> 00:03:32,880 To surprise Joey. I've never been to his place. 70 00:03:33,049 --> 00:03:35,847 - I'm just gonna pop in. - Good, men love that. 71 00:03:38,409 --> 00:03:39,728 Hey. 72 00:03:41,129 --> 00:03:42,801 You got a message, buddy. 73 00:03:42,969 --> 00:03:44,402 It could be from that blond. 74 00:03:47,849 --> 00:03:50,727 Jerry? Joe Dav ola. 75 00:03:52,809 --> 00:03:54,242 I have a hair on my tongue. 76 00:04:01,249 --> 00:04:03,638 What am I gonna do? He's gonna put the kibosh on me. 77 00:04:03,809 --> 00:04:07,597 - He's crazy, out of his mind! - Steady, steady! Now, calm yourself! 78 00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:10,602 He's supposed to be on medication. He told me he was on medication. 79 00:04:10,769 --> 00:04:13,283 - What happened to his medication? - Quiet! Now let me think. 80 00:04:13,689 --> 00:04:16,283 I'm gonna call the cops. That's what I'm doing. The cops. 81 00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:18,400 Why?! They're not gonna do anything! 82 00:04:18,569 --> 00:04:20,321 They're the cops. They gotta do something. 83 00:04:20,489 --> 00:04:23,287 He'll put the kibosh on me. Do you know what it is to be kiboshed? 84 00:04:24,449 --> 00:04:27,521 - Kibosh. - It's a terrible mistake. 85 00:04:27,689 --> 00:04:30,965 He thinks I ruined some deal at NBC. I don't know anything about it. 86 00:04:31,129 --> 00:04:34,326 - Call and tell him that. - That- That's what I'll do. 87 00:04:34,489 --> 00:04:38,368 I'll just call him and tell him. That's all I'll do. Right. 88 00:04:38,649 --> 00:04:42,005 He's a human being. I'll talk to him. He'll understand, right? 89 00:04:42,169 --> 00:04:43,841 Yeah. 90 00:04:44,009 --> 00:04:45,362 Don't mention my name. 91 00:04:48,569 --> 00:04:50,207 Oh, I got the machine. 92 00:04:50,369 --> 00:04:52,963 - What's his message like? - Nice. 93 00:04:53,769 --> 00:04:55,566 Hello, Joe. Listen, this is Jerry Seinfeld. 94 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:59,244 I think there's been a huge, colossal misunderstanding. 95 00:04:59,409 --> 00:05:01,923 Big. Big. 96 00:05:02,089 --> 00:05:04,364 If we could just talk, we could straighten this out... 97 00:05:04,529 --> 00:05:07,202 ...so cal me back. Bye. 98 00:05:10,409 --> 00:05:11,842 Joey? 99 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,401 Joey? 100 00:05:32,329 --> 00:05:35,924 Oh, God. It's you. You scared me. 101 00:05:36,089 --> 00:05:38,683 Good. Fear's our most primal emotion. 102 00:05:40,729 --> 00:05:42,367 You left your door open. 103 00:05:42,569 --> 00:05:45,037 I know. I like to encourage intruders. 104 00:05:49,929 --> 00:05:50,998 What is all this? 105 00:05:51,169 --> 00:05:52,363 Do you like it? 106 00:05:52,529 --> 00:05:56,317 My home is a shrine to you. 107 00:05:57,049 --> 00:05:58,721 Where did you get all these pictures? 108 00:05:58,889 --> 00:06:01,767 I took them myself with a telephoto lens. 109 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,123 Coming out of your office, your apartment. 110 00:06:05,409 --> 00:06:06,922 Shopping. 111 00:06:07,089 --> 00:06:08,602 Showering. 112 00:06:10,129 --> 00:06:12,563 Showering? 113 00:06:12,729 --> 00:06:14,401 I develop them myself in my darkroom. 114 00:06:14,569 --> 00:06:16,639 Would you-? Would you like to see? 115 00:06:17,889 --> 00:06:20,562 In the darkroom? Oh, no, thank you. 116 00:06:20,729 --> 00:06:22,879 Not right now. 117 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,927 I'm a day person. 118 00:06:30,009 --> 00:06:32,159 Are-? Are you all right? 119 00:06:32,569 --> 00:06:34,161 Why? 120 00:06:34,729 --> 00:06:37,801 Well, I don't know. You just don't... 121 00:06:37,969 --> 00:06:40,722 - ... seem yourself. - Who am I? 122 00:06:41,889 --> 00:06:44,881 - Who am I supposed to be? - That's a good question. 123 00:06:45,049 --> 00:06:48,439 Good question. It's very existential. 124 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,999 Who are you? Who am I? Well... 125 00:06:52,609 --> 00:06:53,758 What are you doing here? 126 00:06:53,929 --> 00:06:56,568 Oh, nothing. I just stopped by to chat. 127 00:06:56,729 --> 00:06:58,959 You know, shoot the breeze. 128 00:06:59,129 --> 00:07:02,121 Were you able to get those Pagliacci opera tickets from your friend? 129 00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,961 I'm really looking forward to it. 130 00:07:06,369 --> 00:07:09,759 No, he couldn't get them. We're not going. 131 00:07:10,289 --> 00:07:11,722 Really? 132 00:07:13,969 --> 00:07:17,166 Oh, damn it. I just remembered I gotta go. 133 00:07:17,329 --> 00:07:21,766 I left something on. The gas, the lights, the water in the tub. 134 00:07:21,929 --> 00:07:24,682 Something is on somewhere, so I'm just gonna get the- 135 00:07:26,729 --> 00:07:29,607 Do you know the story of Pagliacci, Nedda? 136 00:07:30,809 --> 00:07:32,322 I'm Elaine. 137 00:07:32,489 --> 00:07:35,322 He's a clown whose wife is unfaithful to him. 138 00:07:36,969 --> 00:07:39,722 Do you think I'm a clown, Nedda? 139 00:07:40,569 --> 00:07:44,323 Do I think you're a clown? No. Not if it's bad to be a clown. 140 00:07:44,489 --> 00:07:48,323 If it's bad to be a clown, then you are definitely not a clown. 141 00:07:48,489 --> 00:07:53,165 But if it's good to be a clown, then I would have to rethink the whole thing. 142 00:07:53,929 --> 00:07:56,602 You've betrayed me with another, haven't you, Nedda? 143 00:07:56,769 --> 00:07:58,805 Who is he? I want you to tell me who he is. 144 00:07:58,969 --> 00:08:01,164 I want his name. Tell me his name. 145 00:08:01,329 --> 00:08:04,799 Oh, like any man would ever look at me. Come on. 146 00:08:04,969 --> 00:08:07,039 I'm gonna get out of here. 147 00:08:07,209 --> 00:08:09,120 Pagliacci kills his wife. 148 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:12,645 See? Now that's terrible. That is- That's not a nice thing to do at all. 149 00:08:12,809 --> 00:08:16,279 I would assume- I don't know how this Pagliacci thing turns out. 150 00:08:16,449 --> 00:08:20,237 But I would assume that there was big, big trouble for that clown. 151 00:08:20,569 --> 00:08:21,763 You're not leaving. 152 00:08:27,449 --> 00:08:29,167 But, officer, he threatened me. 153 00:08:29,329 --> 00:08:30,887 I don't understand. That's not right. 154 00:08:31,049 --> 00:08:34,246 What if it was the president of the U.S.? I bet you'd investigate. 155 00:08:34,409 --> 00:08:38,118 So, what's the difference? I'm a comedian of the United States. 156 00:08:38,569 --> 00:08:41,208 And I'll tell you, I'm under just as much pressure. 157 00:08:41,609 --> 00:08:44,760 All right. Thanks anyway. Okay, bye. 158 00:08:47,849 --> 00:08:50,283 - Who is it? - It's George. 159 00:08:54,089 --> 00:08:56,842 - You're locking the door now? - Yeah. 160 00:09:06,729 --> 00:09:08,401 Well, well. Look at you. 161 00:09:09,969 --> 00:09:12,529 It's a little skimpy there, isn't it? 162 00:09:14,049 --> 00:09:16,199 You know the last time I wore this thing? 163 00:09:16,369 --> 00:09:17,563 Six years ago. 164 00:09:17,729 --> 00:09:19,924 When I made that toast at Bobby Leighton's wedding. 165 00:09:20,089 --> 00:09:22,080 Oh, that was a bad toast. 166 00:09:22,249 --> 00:09:23,602 It wasn't that bad. 167 00:09:23,769 --> 00:09:26,203 I never heard anybody curse in a toast. 168 00:09:26,889 --> 00:09:28,800 I was trying to loosen them up a little bit. 169 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,641 There were old people there. 170 00:09:30,809 --> 00:09:34,597 All the relatives. You were like a Redd Foxx record. 171 00:09:35,369 --> 00:09:37,439 At the end of the toast, nobody even drank. 172 00:09:37,609 --> 00:09:40,282 They were just standing. They were just frozen. People- 173 00:09:41,329 --> 00:09:44,401 That might have been one of the worst all-time toasts. 174 00:09:44,569 --> 00:09:47,686 Still, her father didn't have to throw me out like that. 175 00:09:47,849 --> 00:09:50,158 He could've asked me to leave. He had me in a headlock. 176 00:09:51,529 --> 00:09:52,882 Susan's not going tonight. 177 00:09:53,289 --> 00:09:54,847 What do you mean, not going? Why not? 178 00:09:55,009 --> 00:09:57,125 She had to pick up a friend at the airport. 179 00:09:57,289 --> 00:09:59,041 It cost me $100, this ticket. 180 00:09:59,209 --> 00:10:01,848 - Why didn't she pay for hers? - That's a very good question. 181 00:10:02,449 --> 00:10:05,122 She and I go to dinner, she doesn't even reach for the check. 182 00:10:05,289 --> 00:10:07,849 All I'm asking for is a reach. Is that so much to ask for? 183 00:10:08,009 --> 00:10:09,601 It's nice to get a reach. 184 00:10:12,969 --> 00:10:15,608 - Who is it? - It's me! 185 00:10:16,769 --> 00:10:19,124 Why are you locking the door now? 186 00:10:19,609 --> 00:10:20,962 Because of Davola. Get in here. 187 00:10:21,129 --> 00:10:23,006 What the-? 188 00:10:24,849 --> 00:10:27,283 - How come you're not dressed? - I am dressed. 189 00:10:27,449 --> 00:10:30,122 - You're going like this? - Yeah. I want you to hear something. 190 00:10:30,289 --> 00:10:34,248 - You said people dress up for opera. - Well, people do. I don't. 191 00:10:35,849 --> 00:10:38,204 If you're going like that, I'm not going like this. 192 00:10:38,369 --> 00:10:41,679 Wait a minute! Do you think I'm comfortable here? 193 00:10:42,089 --> 00:10:44,159 I can't change. I got no clothes here. 194 00:10:44,329 --> 00:10:46,479 You gotta go like that. I can't go like this alone. 195 00:10:46,649 --> 00:10:49,402 Why should I be uncomfortable because my apartment is closer? 196 00:10:49,569 --> 00:10:51,525 That's not the issue. We're friends. 197 00:10:51,689 --> 00:10:53,600 If I gotta be uncomfortable, you gotta too. 198 00:10:53,769 --> 00:10:57,045 All right. I'll wear this. It's bad enough I gotta go to the opera... 199 00:10:57,209 --> 00:10:59,882 ...I gotta sit next to Ozzie Nelson over here. 200 00:11:00,169 --> 00:11:02,729 Would you turn that down? What is that crap? 201 00:11:02,889 --> 00:11:04,561 It's Pagliacci. 202 00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:06,162 Oh, beautiful. 203 00:11:06,329 --> 00:11:08,684 We got a little problem here. We got two extra tickets. 204 00:11:08,849 --> 00:11:10,965 - Why, what happened? - Susan isn't going... 205 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:14,883 ...and Elaine's friend isn't going. - Fantastic. We'll scalp the tickets. 206 00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,517 We can make maybe 500 a ticket. 207 00:11:17,689 --> 00:11:19,042 - Really? - Oh, yeah. 208 00:11:19,209 --> 00:11:21,643 People are looking for tickets here? 209 00:11:22,209 --> 00:11:26,646 Are you kidding? Opening night, Pavarotti in Pagliacci? 210 00:11:26,809 --> 00:11:29,767 - We're gonna clean up. - Oh, man, I knew I'd love the opera. 211 00:11:29,929 --> 00:11:33,126 - Yeah, right. - Come on, let's go get the tickets. 212 00:11:33,289 --> 00:11:36,042 Listen, I gotta wait for Elaine. I'll meet you at the theatre. 213 00:11:36,209 --> 00:11:37,961 - Yeah. - All right. Isn't scalping illegal? 214 00:11:38,129 --> 00:11:39,881 Oh, yeah. 215 00:11:55,929 --> 00:11:59,763 You sprayed him in the eyes with Binaca? 216 00:12:02,249 --> 00:12:04,604 Cherry Binaca. It's new. 217 00:12:04,929 --> 00:12:07,363 See, I don't get that. First they come out with regular. 218 00:12:07,529 --> 00:12:08,882 A year later, they have cherry. 219 00:12:09,049 --> 00:12:12,166 They know we like cherry. Start with cherry. Then come out with regular. 220 00:12:12,609 --> 00:12:15,328 It was like I didn't know him. He was a different person. 221 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,446 You should hear the message from my nut. 222 00:12:18,129 --> 00:12:20,962 Where's George and Kramer? I wanna get inside already. 223 00:12:21,129 --> 00:12:23,040 I feel very vulnerable. 224 00:12:23,929 --> 00:12:25,328 What you doing? That's my quarter. 225 00:12:25,489 --> 00:12:28,561 - No, it's not. It's mine. - I was just flipping it. That's mine. 226 00:12:28,729 --> 00:12:30,003 No, I dropped it. It's mine. 227 00:12:30,169 --> 00:12:33,366 All right, you want it, take it, but don't try and tell me it's yours. 228 00:12:33,529 --> 00:12:34,882 Well, it is mine. 229 00:12:35,329 --> 00:12:36,967 What, you think I care about the money? 230 00:12:37,129 --> 00:12:38,721 Is that what you think? I'll show you. 231 00:12:38,889 --> 00:12:40,481 Look at this. Here's a dollar. Look. 232 00:12:40,649 --> 00:12:42,128 That's how much I care about money. 233 00:12:42,289 --> 00:12:45,486 You think I care about money. That's how much I care about money. 234 00:12:45,689 --> 00:12:47,441 - Why don't you get lost? - Why don't you? 235 00:12:47,609 --> 00:12:49,600 - Because I was standing here. - Oh, yeah? 236 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,282 Yeah. 237 00:12:55,529 --> 00:12:58,407 I kind of like this opera crowd. I feel tough. 238 00:13:00,969 --> 00:13:03,529 Anybody else got a problem? 239 00:13:06,889 --> 00:13:08,641 - Hey, clown. - Clown. 240 00:13:09,169 --> 00:13:10,966 Make us laugh, clown. 241 00:13:11,129 --> 00:13:13,518 - Nice face, clown. - Make me laugh, clown. 242 00:13:20,929 --> 00:13:23,363 I got two. I got two. Pagliacci. 243 00:13:23,529 --> 00:13:26,043 Who needs Pagliacci, huh? Come on, the great tragic clown. 244 00:13:26,209 --> 00:13:29,201 Come on, check it out. He laughs, he cries, he sings. Pagliacci. 245 00:13:29,369 --> 00:13:31,644 I got two beauties right here. Check it out. 246 00:13:31,809 --> 00:13:33,640 - All right. - Hey, hey, you selling? 247 00:13:33,809 --> 00:13:35,288 I'm selling. 248 00:13:35,449 --> 00:13:38,839 - Where are they? - Orchestra, row G, dead centre. Primo. 249 00:13:39,009 --> 00:13:41,284 You think you died and went to heaven. 250 00:13:41,449 --> 00:13:42,598 What do you want for them? 251 00:13:42,769 --> 00:13:45,044 I'll tell you what I'll do. You look like a nice guy. 252 00:13:45,289 --> 00:13:47,041 A thousand dollars for the deuce. 253 00:13:47,649 --> 00:13:49,844 - Give you $500 for the pair. - Yeah. It's a deal. 254 00:13:50,009 --> 00:13:52,443 - No. - What, no? Are you crazy? 255 00:13:52,609 --> 00:13:55,760 - Look, let me handle this. - That's $500. That's a great deal. 256 00:13:55,929 --> 00:13:57,760 You're blowing it. The guy's a pigeon. 257 00:13:57,929 --> 00:14:01,888 Oh, God, see, he's walking away. What is wrong with you? 258 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:03,846 That was a $300 profit. 259 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,601 I know what I'm doing here, George. 260 00:14:05,769 --> 00:14:08,727 This is not a Metallica concert. It's an opera, all right? 261 00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:11,198 A little dignity. A little class. Give me my ticket. 262 00:14:11,369 --> 00:14:12,961 I will stand over here and sell it. 263 00:14:13,129 --> 00:14:15,245 Thank you. Stand over there. I'll stand over here. 264 00:14:15,409 --> 00:14:17,365 - I know where I'm standing. - All right. 265 00:14:17,529 --> 00:14:19,963 - Get your Pagliaccis here! - Pagliaccis right here, huh? 266 00:14:20,369 --> 00:14:21,961 Where are they already? 267 00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:24,245 I guarantee you they don't sell those tickets. 268 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:27,686 Hey, look. There's Bobby Leighton's father-in-law. Mr. Reichman. 269 00:14:27,849 --> 00:14:29,760 George and I were just talking about him. 270 00:14:30,289 --> 00:14:31,927 He threw George out of the wedding. 271 00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:34,484 Oh, yeah, when George made that bad toast. 272 00:14:34,649 --> 00:14:37,846 - You remember the curse toast? - Oh, yeah. The curse toast. 273 00:14:38,049 --> 00:14:39,323 Can you believe that message? 274 00:14:39,489 --> 00:14:41,605 I gotta spend my life looking over my shoulder. 275 00:14:41,769 --> 00:14:43,566 Me too. 276 00:14:44,649 --> 00:14:47,527 Crazy Joe Davola. 277 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:50,877 - How do you know his name? - Why wouldn't I know his name? 278 00:14:51,289 --> 00:14:53,849 - I never told you his name. - I never told you his name. 279 00:14:54,649 --> 00:14:56,765 - Who are we talking about here? - Joe Davola. 280 00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:59,159 Right, Joe Davola. 281 00:14:59,849 --> 00:15:01,362 How do you know his name? 282 00:15:01,929 --> 00:15:06,081 I've been out with him three times. I should know the man's name. 283 00:15:06,729 --> 00:15:09,527 - Oh, my God! It's Joe Davola? - He's stalking you? 284 00:15:09,689 --> 00:15:11,759 - Are you kidding me? - You're dating the madman... 285 00:15:11,929 --> 00:15:14,727 - ... who's trying to kill me? - Why didn't you tell me his name? 286 00:15:14,889 --> 00:15:16,925 Last night he accused me of seeing someone else. 287 00:15:17,089 --> 00:15:19,284 - He said, "Tell me his name!" - He said that? 288 00:15:19,449 --> 00:15:21,440 If he sees us, can you imagine what he'll do? 289 00:15:21,609 --> 00:15:23,918 If he thinks I ruined his NBC deal and stole his girl! 290 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,887 - That will be a kibosh for sure. - What about me? 291 00:15:27,049 --> 00:15:28,607 Excuse me. 292 00:15:29,209 --> 00:15:31,518 Come on. This is Pavarotti. 293 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,244 Three hundred dollars. That's a lot of money. 294 00:15:34,409 --> 00:15:37,321 Steven Holtzman did a production in Tunis last year. 295 00:15:37,489 --> 00:15:40,925 From what I understand, the Muslims really took to it. 296 00:15:41,249 --> 00:15:44,958 I'll tell you what. You seem like a nice guy. Let's stop jerking around. 297 00:15:45,409 --> 00:15:49,448 Give me $250. I got people waiting for me. I gotta get the hell out of here. 298 00:15:49,729 --> 00:15:52,482 Scalping. I told them to put on extra security. 299 00:15:52,649 --> 00:15:54,002 Excuse me. 300 00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,889 Pop, would you buzz off? I got something cooking here. 301 00:15:57,049 --> 00:15:59,165 - Costanza? - Mr. Reichman? 302 00:15:59,329 --> 00:16:01,285 Still a sewer-mouth. Give me those tickets. 303 00:16:01,449 --> 00:16:06,807 Harold, don't. Harold, be careful of your hair transplant! 304 00:16:06,969 --> 00:16:09,358 Anything is welcome. I accept change. 305 00:16:09,529 --> 00:16:12,248 I don't have anything. I gave it to that guy. 306 00:16:14,089 --> 00:16:16,319 You know, you could just say no. 307 00:16:16,489 --> 00:16:17,888 You don't have to humiliate me. 308 00:16:18,049 --> 00:16:21,280 I may be dressed as a clown, but I am a person. 309 00:16:21,449 --> 00:16:23,838 - The guy took- - I don't need people like you... 310 00:16:24,009 --> 00:16:25,522 ...looking down their noses at me. 311 00:16:25,689 --> 00:16:29,523 I am just a street performer trying to make enough to get by. 312 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,044 Doctor. Is there a doctor anywhere? 313 00:16:32,209 --> 00:16:33,688 We need a doctor! 314 00:16:33,849 --> 00:16:37,080 What are you, showing off for your girlfriend here, is that it? 315 00:16:37,249 --> 00:16:41,128 I'm not his girlfriend. We dated for a while but things didn't work out. 316 00:16:41,449 --> 00:16:44,247 You people make me sick. 317 00:16:47,529 --> 00:16:50,407 That is one angry clown. 318 00:16:50,569 --> 00:16:52,321 The hardest part about being a clown... 319 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:56,084 ...it seems to me, would be that you're constantly referred to as a clown. 320 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,558 "Who is that clown? I'm not working with that clown. 321 00:16:58,729 --> 00:17:00,128 Did you hire that clown? 322 00:17:00,289 --> 00:17:01,608 The guy's a clown." 323 00:17:01,809 --> 00:17:03,606 How do you even start into being a clown? 324 00:17:03,769 --> 00:17:05,441 How do you know you wanna be a clown? 325 00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:08,282 I guess you just get to a point where your pants look so bad... 326 00:17:08,889 --> 00:17:10,766 ...it's actually easier to become a clown... 327 00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:12,965 ...than having the proper alterations done. 328 00:17:13,289 --> 00:17:16,964 If you think about it, a clown, if there isn't a circus around them... 329 00:17:17,129 --> 00:17:19,484 ...is really just a very annoying person. 330 00:17:19,649 --> 00:17:22,880 I mean, you're in the back seat of this guy's Volkswagen- 331 00:17:23,049 --> 00:17:26,200 "What, you're picking somebody else up? Oh, man." 332 00:17:26,609 --> 00:17:29,521 I got one. Who needs one? Pagliacci. Pagliacci. 333 00:17:29,929 --> 00:17:32,079 The tragic clown. Pagliacci... 334 00:17:36,449 --> 00:17:38,121 What did you say? 335 00:17:39,089 --> 00:17:40,681 What, are you a cop? 336 00:17:41,649 --> 00:17:43,321 No. I'm a clown. 337 00:17:44,929 --> 00:17:46,806 Man, you look familiar. 338 00:17:47,969 --> 00:17:49,368 You ever been to the circus? 339 00:17:50,009 --> 00:17:52,284 - Well, when I was a kid. - Did you like it? 340 00:17:52,449 --> 00:17:54,804 Well, it was fun. 341 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,917 Was kind of scared of the clowns. 342 00:17:59,289 --> 00:18:01,564 Are you still scared of clowns? 343 00:18:02,809 --> 00:18:04,322 Yeah. 344 00:18:06,849 --> 00:18:08,168 We're gonna miss the overture. 345 00:18:08,329 --> 00:18:14,404 Overture, curtains, lights This is it, we'l hit the heights 346 00:18:14,569 --> 00:18:20,485 And, oh, what heights we'l hit On with the show, this is it 347 00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:26,683 You know, it is so sad. 348 00:18:26,849 --> 00:18:29,761 All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons. 349 00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:34,807 Oh, there's that clown again. What does he want from me? 350 00:18:35,089 --> 00:18:37,205 Look, I'm serious. I don't have the quarter. 351 00:18:37,369 --> 00:18:39,837 - That guy took it. - I don't want any money. 352 00:18:41,609 --> 00:18:43,600 I smell cherry. 353 00:18:45,929 --> 00:18:48,284 - It's Binaca. - Binaca? 354 00:18:53,129 --> 00:18:54,323 Go! Go! 355 00:18:54,569 --> 00:18:57,845 - All right, what did we say, 275? - Two-fifty. 356 00:18:58,449 --> 00:19:01,680 - Two-fifty? Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. 357 00:19:02,129 --> 00:19:04,404 - All right. All right, 250. - George! 358 00:19:05,009 --> 00:19:06,886 - Susan. - I don't believe it. 359 00:19:07,049 --> 00:19:09,040 I'm so glad I caught you. 360 00:19:09,369 --> 00:19:11,837 What are you doing here? You were going to the airport. 361 00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:14,079 Some plane problems. They landed in Philadelphia. 362 00:19:14,249 --> 00:19:16,968 So what? They don't have another plane? She couldn't take a bus? 363 00:19:17,129 --> 00:19:19,438 She's coming in tomorrow. But I made it. 364 00:19:19,609 --> 00:19:21,645 Yeah. How about that? You made it. 365 00:19:21,809 --> 00:19:24,960 I'm so excited. Now we get to see the opera together. 366 00:19:25,129 --> 00:19:28,485 We get to go to the opera- Get out of here- Together. 367 00:19:28,649 --> 00:19:31,038 - Who's that? - That's, that's Harry Fong. 368 00:19:31,209 --> 00:19:33,723 He's a very good friend of mine. He's a big opera buff. 369 00:19:33,889 --> 00:19:36,449 Enjoy the show there, Harry! 370 00:19:36,649 --> 00:19:39,447 - Come on. Let's go. - You know what? 371 00:19:39,609 --> 00:19:41,998 - Come on. You gotta let us in. - Not without tickets. 372 00:19:42,169 --> 00:19:43,966 We have tickets. Just not with us. 373 00:19:44,129 --> 00:19:46,882 Well, that's a problem. Excuse me. 374 00:19:47,489 --> 00:19:49,844 You don't understand. Someone's after us, a crazy clown. 375 00:19:50,009 --> 00:19:52,807 - He's trying to kill us! - A crazy clown is after you? 376 00:19:52,969 --> 00:19:55,278 Oh, that's rich. 377 00:19:55,449 --> 00:19:57,485 Clear the way so people with tickets can pass. 378 00:19:57,649 --> 00:19:59,446 - We're with him. - Are you guys ready? 379 00:19:59,609 --> 00:20:01,122 - Yes. Yes. - Have you seen George? 380 00:20:01,289 --> 00:20:03,644 - We thought he was with you. - Come on. He's on his own. 381 00:20:03,809 --> 00:20:05,208 Here. 382 00:20:06,489 --> 00:20:08,320 Here I come. 383 00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:12,524 - These are great seats, huh? - Yeah. 384 00:20:13,329 --> 00:20:16,924 Boy, some cast, huh? Pavarotti, Eva Marton. 385 00:20:17,089 --> 00:20:19,205 Eva Marton. I've heard of her. 386 00:20:19,369 --> 00:20:22,884 - Who's she playing? - She's playing Pagliacci's wife, Nedda. 387 00:20:23,049 --> 00:20:25,358 - Nedda? - Yeah. 388 00:20:25,569 --> 00:20:26,718 Oh, my God. 389 00:20:26,889 --> 00:20:30,120 Excuse me. Excuse me. 390 00:20:30,289 --> 00:20:31,517 Excuse me. 391 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,441 Excuse me. 392 00:20:43,489 --> 00:20:45,445 Susan, what are you doing here? 393 00:20:45,609 --> 00:20:47,645 - My friend's flight couldn't make it. - Hi. 394 00:20:47,809 --> 00:20:50,448 - Where's George? - I got his ticket. 395 00:20:50,609 --> 00:20:53,248 He decided not to come. He said he was uncomfortable. 396 00:20:53,409 --> 00:20:54,762 Uncomfortable? 397 00:20:54,929 --> 00:20:56,726 How do you think I feel? 398 00:20:57,929 --> 00:21:01,239 - How much did you pay for that ticket? - One-seventy-five. 399 00:21:03,689 --> 00:21:05,919 Kramer, who did you sell your ticket to? 400 00:21:06,089 --> 00:21:08,967 Some nut in a clown suit. 401 00:21:15,809 --> 00:21:18,801 I had some friends drag me to an opera recently. 402 00:21:18,969 --> 00:21:20,925 They've all got those little opera glasses. 403 00:21:21,089 --> 00:21:24,798 Do you really need binoculars? How big do these people have to get... 404 00:21:25,129 --> 00:21:26,278 ...before you can spot them? 405 00:21:26,449 --> 00:21:31,477 These opera kids, they're going 250, 280, 325. 406 00:21:31,649 --> 00:21:33,605 They're wearing big white woolly vests. 407 00:21:33,769 --> 00:21:37,364 The women have the breastplates, the bullet hats, the horns coming out. 408 00:21:37,529 --> 00:21:39,679 You can't pick these people out, forget opera. 409 00:21:39,849 --> 00:21:44,479 Think about optometry. Maybe that's more your thing. 410 00:22:32,289 --> 00:22:34,280 Subtitles by SDl Media Group