1 00:00:03,889 --> 00:00:06,119 The problem with the beginning of the relationship... 2 00:00:06,289 --> 00:00:08,757 ...is each person has their own sexual timetable... 3 00:00:08,929 --> 00:00:12,080 ...of what should happen when, that the other person knows nothing about. 4 00:00:12,249 --> 00:00:15,400 That's why I think we need some sort of sexual rule book... 5 00:00:15,569 --> 00:00:17,525 ...where it's written down and agreed upon... 6 00:00:17,689 --> 00:00:20,408 ...sexual standard dating procedure. 7 00:00:20,569 --> 00:00:23,037 Know what I mean? So if there's any problems, you can go: 8 00:00:23,209 --> 00:00:26,087 "Look, honey, I'm sorry, but we've been out three times... 9 00:00:26,249 --> 00:00:28,524 ...and according to Article 7, Section 5... 10 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:32,404 ...there's got to be some physical contact, as you can see right there. 11 00:00:32,569 --> 00:00:34,400 Otherwise, I will report you to the board... 12 00:00:34,569 --> 00:00:36,560 ...and they can issue a warrant for an embrace." 13 00:00:41,849 --> 00:00:43,123 Wait a second. Wait a second. 14 00:00:43,289 --> 00:00:45,962 Then the butler says, "I'm not cleaning it up. 15 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:49,121 - I'm sick of cleaning!" - That's funny. That's funny. 16 00:00:49,289 --> 00:00:51,598 "I'm sick of cleaning." That's very funny. 17 00:00:51,929 --> 00:00:53,681 I've never seen a pilot script this funny. 18 00:00:53,849 --> 00:00:55,760 - Yeah, it's funny. - How funny is this? 19 00:00:55,929 --> 00:00:58,204 - It's funny. - I mean, we're not stupid, right? 20 00:00:58,369 --> 00:01:01,566 - We know when something's funny. - It cannot not be funny. 21 00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:04,289 Come on, let's stay with it. We gotta finish this today. 22 00:01:04,449 --> 00:01:06,679 Maybe I should give it to my therapist to read. 23 00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:09,602 - She's smart. I trust her. - Maybe I'll give it to Elaine. 24 00:01:09,889 --> 00:01:12,801 We haven't brought the Elaine character into the show yet. 25 00:01:12,969 --> 00:01:14,448 We should get her into this scene. 26 00:01:14,609 --> 00:01:17,362 Right. Right. Okay. 27 00:01:17,529 --> 00:01:20,089 "Elaine enters." 28 00:01:20,249 --> 00:01:21,398 Right. 29 00:01:21,929 --> 00:01:23,521 What does she say? 30 00:01:26,809 --> 00:01:29,687 - I don't know. What do women say? - I don't know. 31 00:01:29,849 --> 00:01:32,921 I don't even know what they think. That's why I'm in therapy. 32 00:01:33,529 --> 00:01:36,248 If we bring Elaine in, it'll be so many people to keep track of. 33 00:01:36,409 --> 00:01:38,639 It's too hard. I forget where everybody is standing. 34 00:01:38,809 --> 00:01:40,720 You, me, Kramer, the butler. It's too much. 35 00:01:42,329 --> 00:01:43,967 - All right, forget Elaine. - All right. 36 00:01:46,369 --> 00:01:47,563 - Hey. - Hey. 37 00:01:50,169 --> 00:01:52,729 You are never gonna believe who I just ran into today. 38 00:01:52,889 --> 00:01:55,119 - Who? - Your old flame: Gail Cunningham. 39 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:56,483 Did you talk to her? 40 00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:59,368 Well, I was on my way to the Y, and I saw her coming towards me. 41 00:01:59,529 --> 00:02:00,848 I didn't know what to do. 42 00:02:01,009 --> 00:02:02,840 I remember you had three dates with her... 43 00:02:03,009 --> 00:02:04,806 ...and she wouldn't kiss you good night. 44 00:02:04,969 --> 00:02:07,437 So now I'm thinking, "What is my duty to my friend? 45 00:02:07,609 --> 00:02:09,600 Do I acknowledge her? Do I ignore her?" 46 00:02:09,769 --> 00:02:12,078 - I mean, what is my responsibility? - So, what happened? 47 00:02:12,249 --> 00:02:15,798 You know, she sees me and she goes, "Hi, Kramer!" 48 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,482 Like nothing happened. 49 00:02:17,649 --> 00:02:21,119 Like she never went three dates with you and refused to kiss you. 50 00:02:21,289 --> 00:02:25,362 - Yeah, I know about the three dates. - You know what I did? I snubbed her. 51 00:02:26,769 --> 00:02:30,205 - What do you mean you snubbed her? - I walked by her, never said a word. 52 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:33,362 - Right by her? - Right by her. 53 00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:36,566 What do you say about a guy like this, huh? 54 00:02:36,729 --> 00:02:40,961 You are some great friend. I'll tell you. Snubbed her. Not that I condone it. 55 00:02:42,409 --> 00:02:45,162 I've never condoned snubbing in my administration. 56 00:02:45,329 --> 00:02:47,285 But your loyalty is beyond question. 57 00:02:47,449 --> 00:02:49,485 Well, you know, she's lucky I was in a good mood. 58 00:02:49,649 --> 00:02:51,048 Could have been a lot worse. 59 00:02:54,129 --> 00:02:57,087 - I'm not even in here. - Yeah, I know. 60 00:02:57,249 --> 00:02:59,922 I thought there was gonna be a character named "Elaine Benes." 61 00:03:00,089 --> 00:03:02,159 There were too many people in the room. 62 00:03:02,329 --> 00:03:03,842 We couldn't keep track of everybody: 63 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:05,283 George and the butler- 64 00:03:05,449 --> 00:03:08,088 You "couldn't keep track of everybody"? 65 00:03:08,249 --> 00:03:10,968 Well, we tried. We couldn't. We didn't know how to... 66 00:03:12,209 --> 00:03:15,645 We couldn't write for a woman. We didn't know what you would say. 67 00:03:16,089 --> 00:03:18,159 Even right now, I know you're gonna say something. 68 00:03:18,329 --> 00:03:19,887 I have no idea what it is. 69 00:03:20,049 --> 00:03:22,165 You have no idea? 70 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,407 Something derogatory? 71 00:03:25,529 --> 00:03:28,680 - I thought I'd find you here. - Well, Gail Cunningham. 72 00:03:28,849 --> 00:03:30,760 - Hi, Gail. - Hi, Elaine. 73 00:03:30,929 --> 00:03:32,965 - What is with your friend, Kramer? - Why? 74 00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:34,323 He snubbed me. 75 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,040 - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure. 76 00:03:37,209 --> 00:03:40,246 - What did you tell him? - Nothing. Hey, give me that. 77 00:03:40,409 --> 00:03:43,446 - I thought you finished. - I took two bites. How am I finished? 78 00:03:43,609 --> 00:03:47,124 Plus, you're coming down with something. You want me to get sick? 79 00:03:47,329 --> 00:03:48,523 Bite? 80 00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:50,486 I wanna know. Why did Kramer do that? 81 00:03:50,649 --> 00:03:53,686 I don't know. Once he leaves the building, he's out of my jurisdiction. 82 00:03:53,849 --> 00:03:57,000 - Tell him that I am mad at him. - All right. So where you cooking now? 83 00:03:57,289 --> 00:03:59,120 - Pfieffer's. - Oh, the power-lunch crowd. 84 00:03:59,849 --> 00:04:01,362 Nice shoes. 85 00:04:02,889 --> 00:04:04,845 - Thank you. - Where did you get them? 86 00:04:05,009 --> 00:04:07,125 They're Botticelli's. 87 00:04:07,889 --> 00:04:11,768 Botticelli's. Look at you. I'm afraid to go in there. 88 00:04:11,929 --> 00:04:13,362 Really? 89 00:04:13,689 --> 00:04:16,567 - Would you care to join us? - No, no. I gotta get to the restaurant. 90 00:04:16,729 --> 00:04:18,048 - See you. - See you. 91 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:24,484 "Look at you with your Botticelli's." 92 00:04:24,729 --> 00:04:27,118 - That bothered you? - Yes, it bothered me. 93 00:04:27,289 --> 00:04:29,484 So I bought a pair of shoes at Botticelli's. 94 00:04:29,649 --> 00:04:31,128 I'm not allowed to shop there? 95 00:04:31,289 --> 00:04:33,120 That really embarrassed me. 96 00:04:33,289 --> 00:04:36,884 - It did? - Yes. Couldn't you see that? 97 00:04:38,009 --> 00:04:39,158 No. 98 00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:41,445 This is why you're not in the pilot. 99 00:04:45,169 --> 00:04:48,718 Well, George, I think you're beginning to get some perspective on things. 100 00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,447 I think we're making progress. 101 00:04:50,609 --> 00:04:53,726 - Yeah, I feel like I've grown. - Good. Let's pick up on this next week. 102 00:04:53,889 --> 00:04:55,083 Great. 103 00:04:57,209 --> 00:05:00,804 By the way, did you get a chance to read the script? 104 00:05:00,969 --> 00:05:03,119 Yes. Yes, I did. 105 00:05:03,289 --> 00:05:04,881 Well, what did you think? 106 00:05:05,049 --> 00:05:06,846 It was... 107 00:05:07,009 --> 00:05:08,237 ...good. 108 00:05:10,809 --> 00:05:12,401 You didn't like it? 109 00:05:13,089 --> 00:05:14,647 Well, no- 110 00:05:14,849 --> 00:05:17,682 I can't believe this. What was wrong with it? What didn't you like? 111 00:05:17,889 --> 00:05:18,958 It wasn't funny. 112 00:05:19,129 --> 00:05:21,848 It wasn't funny? What, are you kidding? 113 00:05:22,009 --> 00:05:24,204 No. I didn't find it funny. 114 00:05:24,369 --> 00:05:27,918 You didn't find it funny? This is what I'm paying for? 115 00:05:28,449 --> 00:05:31,566 Well, that whole story line about a guy who gets into a car accident... 116 00:05:31,729 --> 00:05:35,199 ...doesn't have insurance, so the judge sentences him to be a butler? 117 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:36,848 I didn't really buy that. 118 00:05:37,009 --> 00:05:42,686 Let me tell you who did buy it. We pitched this story... 119 00:05:42,849 --> 00:05:47,604 ...to Russell Dalrymple, the president of NBC, and he ate it up with a spoon. 120 00:05:47,769 --> 00:05:49,646 If you're going to be in a creative field... 121 00:05:49,809 --> 00:05:52,323 ...you're gonna have to learn how to deal with criticism. 122 00:05:52,489 --> 00:05:53,888 How's this for criticism? 123 00:05:55,169 --> 00:05:58,081 You stink. How do you like that criticism? 124 00:05:58,249 --> 00:06:01,605 You know what's funny to me? That diploma up on the wall. 125 00:06:01,769 --> 00:06:04,408 That is my idea of comedy. 126 00:06:04,569 --> 00:06:06,799 You sitting here, telling people what to do. 127 00:06:06,969 --> 00:06:10,279 - I think you'd better go. - I'm going baby. I'm going! 128 00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,202 It's Jerry's fault. 129 00:06:14,169 --> 00:06:18,447 He took out all my good lines. He's such a control freak. 130 00:06:22,009 --> 00:06:25,797 So you send me to this therapist to help me with my emotional disorders... 131 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,039 ...and she criticizes our script. 132 00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:30,120 What kind of a therapist is that? 133 00:06:30,289 --> 00:06:32,723 Well, I guess she didn't think it was funny. 134 00:06:32,889 --> 00:06:36,598 Oh, she didn't think it was funny. What is she, Rowan and Martin? 135 00:06:37,209 --> 00:06:39,040 We're supposed to meet with NBC tomorrow. 136 00:06:39,209 --> 00:06:40,961 She completely shattered my confidence. 137 00:06:41,129 --> 00:06:43,279 And I'm paying for this. She's my employee. 138 00:06:43,449 --> 00:06:48,159 - I thought your mother's paying for it. - And she slaves to earn every penny... 139 00:06:48,329 --> 00:06:51,321 ...so that someday I might be able to walk up to a woman and say: 140 00:06:51,489 --> 00:06:54,925 "Yes, I'm bald, but I'm still a good person." 141 00:06:55,089 --> 00:06:57,557 He's right. It's not her place to criticize the script. 142 00:06:57,729 --> 00:07:00,527 Which reminds me. What did you think of it? You never told me 143 00:07:01,369 --> 00:07:03,519 - What did I think of it? - Yeah. 144 00:07:04,969 --> 00:07:06,687 Hey, buddy, I got something to tell you. 145 00:07:06,849 --> 00:07:09,966 Now, one second. You won't get off that easy. Tell me what you thought. 146 00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:12,723 - Well, you know- - I just kissed Gail Cunningham. 147 00:07:16,929 --> 00:07:19,079 - You what? - Yeah, I kissed her. 148 00:07:19,249 --> 00:07:21,843 - You kissed her? - Right on the mouth. 149 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,567 What kind of great friend are you? 150 00:07:23,729 --> 00:07:25,526 How do you go from snubbing to kissing? 151 00:07:25,689 --> 00:07:29,318 I saw her outside the Y. She came up to me, she started yelling... 152 00:07:29,489 --> 00:07:33,038 ...because I snubbed her. Then we started talking a little bit... 153 00:07:33,209 --> 00:07:36,679 ...and I walked her to her building. And just before I left... 154 00:07:36,849 --> 00:07:39,682 ...I put my arm around her waist. I pulled her to me... 155 00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:41,840 ...and I planted one. 156 00:07:43,769 --> 00:07:46,329 - What did she do? - She kissed me back. 157 00:07:46,489 --> 00:07:50,004 I don't get this. I go out with this girl three times, she won't shake my hand. 158 00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:52,125 Why is she kissing you? 159 00:07:52,409 --> 00:07:56,322 Because I snubbed her. You see? Women, they like that. 160 00:07:56,489 --> 00:07:57,842 Yes, I understand women. 161 00:07:58,009 --> 00:08:01,365 The snub is good. They love the snub. 162 00:08:01,969 --> 00:08:04,403 No they don't. I tried that once. 163 00:08:04,569 --> 00:08:06,844 I snubbed for a year. Nothing. 164 00:08:07,009 --> 00:08:10,479 Every woman I saw, I snubbed. You never saw people so pleased. 165 00:08:12,569 --> 00:08:16,244 So I understand you're buying new shoes now at Botticelli's. 166 00:08:16,409 --> 00:08:18,764 What? Who told you that? 167 00:08:18,929 --> 00:08:20,567 Gail Cunningham. 168 00:08:21,289 --> 00:08:24,247 I don't understand. Why is this woman talking about my shoes? 169 00:08:24,409 --> 00:08:27,287 Why are my shoes a topic of conversation? 170 00:08:27,449 --> 00:08:29,963 We were just talking, and she mentioned... 171 00:08:30,129 --> 00:08:32,404 ...how you're buying your shoes now at Botticelli's. 172 00:08:32,569 --> 00:08:35,766 How I'm buying my shoes now at Botticelli's. 173 00:08:35,929 --> 00:08:37,362 Did you hear this? 174 00:08:39,089 --> 00:08:40,886 So what? 175 00:08:41,489 --> 00:08:46,563 So what? She is talking about my shoes. She is discussing my shoes. 176 00:08:46,729 --> 00:08:50,881 It is nobody's business where I buy my shoes. 177 00:09:00,889 --> 00:09:02,800 - Hey, Gail? - Yeah. 178 00:09:03,729 --> 00:09:04,718 Elaine. 179 00:09:04,889 --> 00:09:06,925 - Why are you talking about my shoes? - What? 180 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:09,922 My Botticelli shoes. You've been talking about my Botticelli shoes. 181 00:09:10,089 --> 00:09:11,283 What are you talking about? 182 00:09:11,449 --> 00:09:15,203 Did you or did you not tell Kramer that I got my shoes at Botticelli's? 183 00:09:15,369 --> 00:09:16,768 Too spicy. He wants another one. 184 00:09:16,929 --> 00:09:20,126 - You got that pasta primavera? - Elaine, I am very busy here. 185 00:09:20,329 --> 00:09:21,967 Who else have you mentioned my shoes to? 186 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:24,802 I want to know why my footwear is your conversation? 187 00:09:25,289 --> 00:09:27,757 I am not discussing this. This is insane. 188 00:09:27,929 --> 00:09:29,567 You got that pasta primavera? Let's go! 189 00:09:38,049 --> 00:09:40,165 Here you are, Mr. Dalrymple. 190 00:09:40,929 --> 00:09:44,080 Sorry for the delay. Enjoy your lunch. 191 00:09:45,009 --> 00:09:46,408 - Well, come in. Come in. - Hi. 192 00:09:46,569 --> 00:09:47,763 - Hi. - Hi. 193 00:09:47,929 --> 00:09:49,328 Sorry to make you come up here... 194 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:52,162 ...but I wasn't feeling well enough to go back to the office. 195 00:09:52,329 --> 00:09:55,162 Well, it's the only chance I have to meet with you this week. 196 00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:56,967 - Are you all right? - It's my stomach. 197 00:09:57,129 --> 00:10:00,519 There must have been something in the pasta primavera I had for lunch. 198 00:10:00,929 --> 00:10:02,885 - Where did you eat? - Pfeiffer's. 199 00:10:04,129 --> 00:10:06,563 - I know the chef there. - Food is usually terrific. 200 00:10:06,809 --> 00:10:08,925 My cousin worked for Bouchard's. 201 00:10:09,089 --> 00:10:12,047 They used to use the bouillabaisse for a toilet. 202 00:10:12,889 --> 00:10:14,368 What are you saying? 203 00:10:14,529 --> 00:10:16,884 Well, you didn't hear it from me, but needless to say... 204 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,768 ...if you go in there, stick with the consommé. 205 00:10:20,089 --> 00:10:22,478 We better get started. My daughter's gonna be here soon. 206 00:10:22,649 --> 00:10:23,798 Oh, you have a daughter. 207 00:10:23,969 --> 00:10:26,608 - She just turned 15 last week. - That's a fun age. 208 00:10:26,769 --> 00:10:27,918 Yeah. 209 00:10:28,489 --> 00:10:29,683 All right. 210 00:10:30,609 --> 00:10:33,965 The script. Now, I've read this thing three times. 211 00:10:34,129 --> 00:10:35,278 Yeah? 212 00:10:36,289 --> 00:10:38,200 And every time I read it... 213 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,043 What? 214 00:10:44,569 --> 00:10:46,878 - Excuse me for a second. - What? 215 00:10:47,049 --> 00:10:50,166 Would you like a Pepto-Bismol? I keep them in my wallet. 216 00:10:50,729 --> 00:10:52,685 You think he liked it? 217 00:10:57,889 --> 00:10:59,368 I'm not sure. 218 00:11:09,129 --> 00:11:12,166 - What was that dish he said- - Pasta primavera. 219 00:11:13,689 --> 00:11:16,123 You know, "primavera"is Italian for "spring." 220 00:11:16,289 --> 00:11:18,484 - No? - Yeah. 221 00:11:19,609 --> 00:11:21,804 Really, I'm terribly sorry. It's just... 222 00:11:23,409 --> 00:11:25,127 ...all of a sudden, it just hit me. 223 00:11:26,049 --> 00:11:29,519 So you were saying, about the script. 224 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,202 Right. The script. 225 00:11:31,409 --> 00:11:32,683 Your script needs... 226 00:11:34,729 --> 00:11:36,242 It needs... 227 00:11:37,329 --> 00:11:38,808 - More jokes? - Another ending? 228 00:11:38,969 --> 00:11:40,561 A different name for the butler? 229 00:11:46,969 --> 00:11:48,721 Maybe we should go. 230 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:50,967 We haven't heard his notes yet. 231 00:11:51,129 --> 00:11:53,359 We don't know how he feels about our work. 232 00:11:54,809 --> 00:12:00,566 Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 233 00:12:01,489 --> 00:12:05,846 I can't listen to anymore of this. The guy's losing a lung in there. 234 00:12:08,449 --> 00:12:09,643 Hello. 235 00:12:09,849 --> 00:12:11,760 - Hi. - I'm Molly. 236 00:12:11,929 --> 00:12:13,521 - I'm Jerry. - George. 237 00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,600 We're discussing our script with your father. 238 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,361 He just read it. 239 00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:23,919 - Daddy, are you okay? - Yeah. Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine. 240 00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:29,366 - So you live with your mother? - Yeah. 241 00:12:30,009 --> 00:12:33,843 Divorce is very difficult, especially on the kid 242 00:12:34,009 --> 00:12:36,728 Of course, I'm the result of my parents having stayed together. 243 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:38,004 So you never know. 244 00:12:38,569 --> 00:12:39,843 Crapshoot. 245 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,681 Dad, you all right? What's the matter? 246 00:12:41,849 --> 00:12:44,727 - It's just a stomach thing. - Yuck. 247 00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,766 We're gonna have to do this some other time. 248 00:12:46,929 --> 00:12:49,887 So if you give me your number, I'll call you later. 249 00:12:51,769 --> 00:12:54,647 Suddenly I'm in the mood for pasta primavera myself. 250 00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:07,837 Get a good look, Costanza? 251 00:13:11,129 --> 00:13:14,758 - What were you doing? - It's not my fault. You poked me. 252 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:18,047 You're supposed to just take a peek after a poke. 253 00:13:18,209 --> 00:13:21,042 You were like you just put a quarter in one of those metal things... 254 00:13:21,209 --> 00:13:22,801 ...on top of the Empire State Building 255 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,358 It was cleavage. I couldn't look away. 256 00:13:25,529 --> 00:13:28,885 What, am I waiting to win an Oscar here? This is all I have in my life. 257 00:13:29,369 --> 00:13:32,884 Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. 258 00:13:33,049 --> 00:13:34,880 It's too risky. 259 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:38,321 - You get a sense of it, then look away. - All right. 260 00:13:38,729 --> 00:13:41,368 He caught me in a cleavage peek. So big deal. 261 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,918 Who wouldn't look at cleavage? She's got nice cleavage. 262 00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:46,319 - That's why I poked. - Why I peeked. 263 00:13:46,809 --> 00:13:48,401 - Hi. - Hey. 264 00:13:49,049 --> 00:13:51,517 - What is with your friend Elaine? - What? 265 00:13:51,689 --> 00:13:55,079 She comes to my restaurant, comes right in my kitchen... 266 00:13:55,249 --> 00:13:57,558 ...starts complaining that I'm talking about her shoes. 267 00:13:57,769 --> 00:14:00,488 - She did? - Right in the kitchen. Disgraceful. 268 00:14:00,649 --> 00:14:02,605 I don't like people coming into my kitchen. 269 00:14:02,769 --> 00:14:05,841 I think she sneezed all over someone's pasta primavera. 270 00:14:06,009 --> 00:14:08,967 Someone might have gotten sick because of her. 271 00:14:13,489 --> 00:14:15,844 - Pasta primavera? - Is that what she said? 272 00:14:17,129 --> 00:14:21,759 Hey, she's something, huh? She's a wild one. She's wearing me out. 273 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,318 - She is? - She's real sensual. 274 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:27,208 You know, with the cooking and all. 275 00:14:34,729 --> 00:14:36,242 Hello? 276 00:14:36,569 --> 00:14:37,763 Hi, Stu. 277 00:14:37,929 --> 00:14:39,601 - From NBC? - Yeah. 278 00:14:39,769 --> 00:14:41,487 What's going on? 279 00:14:41,809 --> 00:14:44,482 What? Really? 280 00:14:44,729 --> 00:14:46,481 Oh, my God. 281 00:14:46,729 --> 00:14:48,765 Did he give you a reason? 282 00:14:49,129 --> 00:14:50,278 Oh, boy. 283 00:14:50,449 --> 00:14:52,963 Okay. All right. Thanks. 284 00:14:53,289 --> 00:14:55,678 Dalrymple just cancelled the pilot. 285 00:14:58,609 --> 00:15:00,964 If you hadn't gone there, this wouldn't have happened. 286 00:15:01,129 --> 00:15:03,848 I don't like people talking about my shoes behind my back, okay? 287 00:15:04,009 --> 00:15:05,761 My shoes are my business. 288 00:15:05,929 --> 00:15:09,126 You two shouldn't have been looking at some 15-year-old's cleavage. 289 00:15:09,289 --> 00:15:12,167 - He poked me! - There was cleavage in the area. 290 00:15:13,849 --> 00:15:15,999 That's a reflex. Cleavage, poke. Cleavage, poke. 291 00:15:16,569 --> 00:15:17,922 But she was 15. 292 00:15:18,169 --> 00:15:20,729 You don't consider age in the face of cleavage. 293 00:15:20,969 --> 00:15:24,279 This occurs on a molecular level. You can't control it. 294 00:15:24,449 --> 00:15:26,201 We're like some kind of weird fish... 295 00:15:26,369 --> 00:15:28,883 ...where the eyes operate independently of the head. 296 00:15:29,049 --> 00:15:31,438 What's the difference? What are we gonna do now? 297 00:15:31,609 --> 00:15:33,964 He won't take our calls. We can't get into his office. 298 00:15:34,169 --> 00:15:36,683 You know what we could do? He eats at Pfeiffer's. 299 00:15:36,849 --> 00:15:39,727 We can have Gail call us when he's there, go there and talk to him. 300 00:15:39,889 --> 00:15:42,244 - You're on to something. - The whole thing is so stupid. 301 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:45,685 Like he wouldn't do the same thing if Elaine walked by in a low-cut dress. 302 00:15:46,049 --> 00:15:48,483 - Well, maybe not Elaine, but... - No. 303 00:15:49,289 --> 00:15:50,768 - Somebody like Gail, though. - Yeah. 304 00:15:50,929 --> 00:15:53,284 What? What do you mean Gail? 305 00:15:53,449 --> 00:15:54,802 What? 306 00:15:54,969 --> 00:15:57,642 Hey, Kramer, listen, I want you to ask Gail to do me a favour. 307 00:15:57,809 --> 00:16:00,562 The next time Russell Dalrymple comes in the restaurant... 308 00:16:00,729 --> 00:16:03,880 - ... ask her if she would call me. - All right, I'll call her right now. 309 00:16:06,209 --> 00:16:07,528 What do you mean Gail? 310 00:16:07,689 --> 00:16:11,284 You don't think I can attract attention, put asses in the seats? 311 00:16:12,569 --> 00:16:16,164 Look, sweetheart, you know you've got it all. 312 00:16:16,369 --> 00:16:17,961 But let's face it... 313 00:16:18,369 --> 00:16:20,041 - She said she'll do it. - All right. 314 00:16:20,249 --> 00:16:21,602 - Great. Beautiful. - Beautiful. 315 00:16:21,769 --> 00:16:23,043 But she wants the shoes. 316 00:16:23,209 --> 00:16:25,677 - What? - She says she wants those shoes. 317 00:16:25,849 --> 00:16:28,238 She wants my shoes? 318 00:16:28,409 --> 00:16:30,081 What kind of person is this? 319 00:16:30,249 --> 00:16:33,764 - She is not getting them. - Come on, I'll buy you another pair. 320 00:16:33,929 --> 00:16:36,443 No, these were the last pair of these that they had. 321 00:16:36,609 --> 00:16:39,601 - I'll get you another just like it. - But these were the only cool ones. 322 00:16:39,769 --> 00:16:43,125 Don't you see how everybody likes them and everybody talks about them? 323 00:16:46,769 --> 00:16:48,407 Elaine... 324 00:16:50,449 --> 00:16:54,920 ...this pilot, it doesn't matter to me. It's not me I'm concerned about... 325 00:16:55,729 --> 00:16:59,119 ...it's my mother. She's already been in the hospital this year. 326 00:16:59,289 --> 00:17:02,167 - Yeah, because she caught you- - Never mind! 327 00:17:02,329 --> 00:17:05,401 Oh, come on. Wait a second. This whole thing is ridiculous. 328 00:17:05,569 --> 00:17:07,605 How do I even know she wears the same size? 329 00:17:07,769 --> 00:17:10,158 - All right, what size are you? - Seven and a half. 330 00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:11,728 Bingo. 331 00:17:18,209 --> 00:17:20,086 Sauce this. 332 00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:26,803 Yeah, he's here. 333 00:17:27,169 --> 00:17:31,367 Oh, and one more thing, bring the shoes. 334 00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:41,960 Hey, will you look! 335 00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:44,404 Fancy meeting you here. 336 00:17:44,569 --> 00:17:46,161 Hello. 337 00:17:46,329 --> 00:17:49,526 Pasta primavera. Back on the horse. 338 00:17:50,889 --> 00:17:53,961 It's funny, after the pilot got cancelled, we hadn't heard from you. 339 00:17:54,129 --> 00:17:57,166 - We didn't hear anything. - We were wondering what happened. 340 00:17:57,329 --> 00:18:01,004 Well, it just didn't seem to be the right project for us right now. 341 00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:12,845 So, what were you saying? 342 00:18:13,729 --> 00:18:16,562 The show. Because if it had anything at all to do... 343 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,640 ...with what you perceived as me... 344 00:18:18,809 --> 00:18:21,687 ...leering at your daughter, I really have to take issue with that. 345 00:18:21,849 --> 00:18:24,238 - I did not leer. Did I leer? - No leer. 346 00:18:26,089 --> 00:18:27,761 Excuse me. 347 00:18:27,929 --> 00:18:31,046 - Are you using that ketchup? - No. 348 00:18:36,489 --> 00:18:39,128 Because if I'm looking... 349 00:18:39,289 --> 00:18:42,565 ...straight ahead and something enters my field of vision... 350 00:18:42,729 --> 00:18:44,959 ...that's merely a happenstance. 351 00:18:45,129 --> 00:18:46,721 Look, under the circumstances... 352 00:18:46,889 --> 00:18:50,325 ...I don't really feel that we should be in business together. 353 00:18:50,969 --> 00:18:52,482 Here's your ketchup back. 354 00:18:52,889 --> 00:18:56,643 You know, I had the hardest time trying to get some out. I just kept... 355 00:18:56,809 --> 00:18:59,118 ...pounding and pounding on the bottom of it. 356 00:18:59,289 --> 00:19:01,678 - Do you ever have any trouble? - No. 357 00:19:02,889 --> 00:19:05,847 Do you have a ketchup secret? 358 00:19:06,009 --> 00:19:07,442 No... 359 00:19:09,329 --> 00:19:11,285 Don't have a ketchup secret. 360 00:19:12,809 --> 00:19:15,482 Because if you do have a ketchup secret... 361 00:19:15,649 --> 00:19:19,358 ...I would really, really like to know what it is. 362 00:19:28,649 --> 00:19:30,128 Field of vision, huh? 363 00:19:31,769 --> 00:19:32,918 How's everything? 364 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,284 - Really good. - This pasta primavera is fabulous. 365 00:19:35,449 --> 00:19:38,486 - Very tasty. - How did it go with that NBC guy? 366 00:19:38,649 --> 00:19:40,526 Great. Pilot is back on. 367 00:19:40,689 --> 00:19:43,203 In fact, Elaine's going out with him tomorrow night. 368 00:19:45,089 --> 00:19:46,488 Hey, listen, Elaine... 369 00:19:46,649 --> 00:19:49,038 ...if Russell mentions anything about the pilot... 370 00:19:49,209 --> 00:19:51,643 ...you'll, of course, tell him how much you liked it. 371 00:19:51,809 --> 00:19:55,768 You know I happen to have the script right here with me... 372 00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:57,965 ...and on page three, for example... 373 00:19:58,129 --> 00:20:01,121 ...suppose the Elaine character comes in wearing... 374 00:20:01,289 --> 00:20:02,642 ...a low-cut dress... 375 00:20:02,809 --> 00:20:07,121 ...and the butler is very distracted and can't work. 376 00:20:07,489 --> 00:20:10,845 That kind of comedy, that's a little broad for us. 377 00:20:11,449 --> 00:20:13,326 I'm sure it's right up Russell's alley. 378 00:20:13,729 --> 00:20:16,118 - Well, it's a funny idea. - It's funny. 379 00:20:16,289 --> 00:20:18,166 - Come on, funny is funny. - Funny's funny. 380 00:20:18,329 --> 00:20:20,445 We're here to entertain, right? 381 00:20:21,369 --> 00:20:22,688 All right. 382 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,244 Well, maybe I'll mention it to Russell tomorrow night. 383 00:20:25,409 --> 00:20:27,365 - If you can. - Yeah. 384 00:20:27,529 --> 00:20:30,248 - Where is he taking you, by the way? - Bouchard's, on 53rd. 385 00:20:36,249 --> 00:20:39,082 I think what he's trying to say is, "Get the bouillabaisse." 386 00:20:50,489 --> 00:20:53,401 Men are obsessed with cleavage, women are obsessed with shoes. 387 00:20:53,569 --> 00:20:56,242 It's the same for both sexes. It doesn't matter... 388 00:20:56,409 --> 00:20:58,320 ...how many times we've seen these things. 389 00:20:58,529 --> 00:21:01,168 Every time these objects are presented to us... 390 00:21:01,329 --> 00:21:03,285 ...we have to look. We cannot not look. 391 00:21:03,449 --> 00:21:05,917 To men, cleavage is like the nearest thing... 392 00:21:06,089 --> 00:21:08,728 ...to a nearby UFO landing. That's what it is. 393 00:21:08,889 --> 00:21:12,484 Women, if women buy a pair of shoes that they really love... 394 00:21:12,649 --> 00:21:14,958 ...this is like boarding the alien ship. 395 00:21:15,129 --> 00:21:16,881 It's possible that aliens have landed... 396 00:21:17,049 --> 00:21:19,438 ...and they haven't been able to get our attention... 397 00:21:19,609 --> 00:21:21,998 ...because we're so preoccupied with cleavage and shoes. 398 00:21:29,609 --> 00:21:31,600 Subtitles by SDl Media Group