1 00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:03,278 To me, government... 2 00:00:04,809 --> 00:00:06,447 ...is basically parents for adults. 3 00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:10,121 Especially the IRS. The IRS is like Ward and June Cleaver... 4 00:00:10,689 --> 00:00:13,157 ...and we're all Wally and the Beaver. 5 00:00:13,329 --> 00:00:15,126 And your accountant is Eddie Haskell... 6 00:00:15,289 --> 00:00:17,883 ...showing you all these neat tricks to get away with stuff. 7 00:00:18,609 --> 00:00:20,122 That's fine, unless you get audited. 8 00:00:20,289 --> 00:00:22,723 Then you don't want some wise guy in a suit going: 9 00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:26,040 "You have a very lovely office here, sir." 10 00:00:26,289 --> 00:00:29,406 Because jail is the government's way of sending you to your room. 11 00:00:29,569 --> 00:00:32,845 And when you meet Whitey and Lumpy in the joint... 12 00:00:33,649 --> 00:00:36,766 ...there's really gonna be something wrong with the Beaver. 13 00:00:42,529 --> 00:00:44,121 - Does he like you? - What do you think? 14 00:00:44,289 --> 00:00:46,325 - Do you like him? - Yeah, I like him. Definitely. 15 00:00:46,489 --> 00:00:47,683 I like him a lot. 16 00:00:47,849 --> 00:00:50,283 - So, what's wrong with him? - Nothing, and I've looked. 17 00:00:50,449 --> 00:00:52,644 Well, I'm sure you'll find something. 18 00:00:52,809 --> 00:00:54,527 - So how'd you meet him? - In the office. 19 00:00:54,689 --> 00:00:56,441 - So he's a writer? - Yeah. 20 00:00:56,609 --> 00:00:59,282 - Yeah, big surprise. - I was sitting on the reception desk. 21 00:00:59,449 --> 00:01:01,440 I was looking pretty hot. 22 00:01:01,609 --> 00:01:04,362 - I was wearing my slingback pumps. - What are those? 23 00:01:04,529 --> 00:01:07,168 Ask your mother. You live with her now, don't you? 24 00:01:07,849 --> 00:01:09,328 Anyway... 25 00:01:09,489 --> 00:01:12,367 ...then this guy comes up to me, and he starts feeling my jacket... 26 00:01:12,529 --> 00:01:14,918 ...between his thumb and forefinger like this. 27 00:01:15,089 --> 00:01:17,364 - So, what'd you do? - I said, "What do you think?" 28 00:01:17,529 --> 00:01:18,962 And he said, "Gabardine?" 29 00:01:19,129 --> 00:01:21,882 And I said, "Yeah."That was it. 30 00:01:23,729 --> 00:01:26,482 - Just felt your material? - Yeah. Jake Jarmel. 31 00:01:27,169 --> 00:01:29,319 - Sounds like a cool guy. - Sounds like a jerk. 32 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:32,128 Felt your material, come on. 33 00:01:32,289 --> 00:01:35,087 - Jerry, where'd you get that sweater? - In the back of my closet. 34 00:01:35,249 --> 00:01:38,127 I think that's what the back of closets are for. 35 00:01:39,089 --> 00:01:40,522 Hey, that's Barry. 36 00:01:40,689 --> 00:01:42,122 Lookit. Barry. 37 00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:43,768 - Hey. - Hi. 38 00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:46,568 - Who is that? - That's Barry Prophet, our accountant. 39 00:01:46,729 --> 00:01:49,084 I don't know how can you let this guy handle your money. 40 00:01:49,249 --> 00:01:52,161 Not my money. He handles Jerry's money. He just does my taxes. 41 00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:53,808 - Barry, how you doing? - How are you? 42 00:01:53,969 --> 00:01:55,322 - This is my friend George. - Hey. 43 00:01:55,489 --> 00:01:57,207 What are you doing in this neighbourhood? 44 00:01:57,369 --> 00:01:58,848 Nothing, really. 45 00:01:59,449 --> 00:02:01,485 - You... You eat here? - Yeah. 46 00:02:01,649 --> 00:02:04,288 - So how's my money? - Well, it's still green. 47 00:02:04,449 --> 00:02:06,280 - What, do you got a cold? - No. No. 48 00:02:06,929 --> 00:02:10,205 - Look at that ring. - Oh, you like that? 49 00:02:12,009 --> 00:02:13,442 Hey, say, where's the bathroom? 50 00:02:13,609 --> 00:02:15,520 Bathroom? Bathroom's right over there. 51 00:02:15,689 --> 00:02:17,327 Great. 52 00:02:19,089 --> 00:02:20,283 Did you see that? 53 00:02:20,449 --> 00:02:22,246 - See what? - Yes, I saw that. 54 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,286 - What? - What was all that sniffing? 55 00:02:24,449 --> 00:02:26,440 - I don't know. - You don't think...? 56 00:02:26,609 --> 00:02:28,884 Oh, no. Come on, Jerry. 57 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:31,563 He was definitely sniffing. 58 00:02:32,489 --> 00:02:34,844 I mean, what if-? This guy's got all my money. 59 00:02:35,009 --> 00:02:36,840 Plus, I got some of Kramer's money with him. 60 00:02:37,009 --> 00:02:39,079 He can write checks to himself from my account. 61 00:02:39,249 --> 00:02:41,604 I've known this guy since college. He doesn't do drugs. 62 00:02:41,769 --> 00:02:44,761 - Then what was all that sniffing? - Maybe it's the cold weather. 63 00:02:44,929 --> 00:02:46,282 Today's not cold. 64 00:02:46,449 --> 00:02:49,327 All right, I gotta get going. My parents are expecting me. 65 00:02:49,489 --> 00:02:53,084 Don't forget to wash your hands before supper. 66 00:02:58,049 --> 00:03:00,358 What do you need all that ketchup for? 67 00:03:01,929 --> 00:03:03,965 This is my ketchup. 68 00:03:04,369 --> 00:03:05,643 I bought this ketchup... 69 00:03:05,809 --> 00:03:08,721 ...just so I could have as much as I want. 70 00:03:11,089 --> 00:03:14,206 So I... I talked to Phil Kassikoff today. 71 00:03:14,369 --> 00:03:15,848 Phil Kassikoff? 72 00:03:16,009 --> 00:03:18,079 Yeah. You know, my friend, the bra salesman? 73 00:03:18,609 --> 00:03:20,440 He says they're looking for somebody... 74 00:03:20,609 --> 00:03:23,077 ...so I got you an interview next Friday with his boss. 75 00:03:23,249 --> 00:03:25,240 - Next Friday? What time? - Two o'clock. 76 00:03:25,809 --> 00:03:29,006 That's my whole afternoon. I was gonna look for sneakers. 77 00:03:29,169 --> 00:03:31,080 You can look for sneakers the next day! 78 00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:35,077 He doesn't know anything about bras. 79 00:03:38,049 --> 00:03:39,880 I know a little. 80 00:03:40,489 --> 00:03:42,207 Besides, what do you have to know? 81 00:03:42,369 --> 00:03:46,442 Well, it wouldn't hurt to go in and be able to discuss it intelligently. 82 00:03:46,609 --> 00:03:48,679 Maybe you should take a look at a few bras. 83 00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:50,680 Where's your bra? Give him a bra to look at. 84 00:03:50,849 --> 00:03:52,202 I'm not giving him a bra. 85 00:03:52,369 --> 00:03:55,406 - Why not? - I don't need him looking at my bra. 86 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,161 Fine. He'll go into the interview... 87 00:03:57,329 --> 00:03:59,285 ...he wouldn't know what he's talking about. 88 00:03:59,449 --> 00:04:01,167 Do we have to...? 89 00:04:01,329 --> 00:04:03,285 You don't even know what they're made from. 90 00:04:03,449 --> 00:04:06,839 - They're made from Lycra spandex. - Get out of here. Lycra spandex? 91 00:04:07,009 --> 00:04:09,204 I think they are made from Lycra spandex. 92 00:04:09,369 --> 00:04:11,200 - Wanna bet? How much? - I'm not betting. 93 00:04:11,369 --> 00:04:15,078 - Take a look. - All right, I'll get a bra. 94 00:04:15,249 --> 00:04:18,002 I don't know what the big problem is getting a bra. 95 00:04:18,169 --> 00:04:19,648 She doesn't wanna get a bra. 96 00:04:20,089 --> 00:04:22,603 I'm not saying, "Go to the library and read the history." 97 00:04:22,769 --> 00:04:25,522 But it wouldn't kill you to know a little bit about it. 98 00:04:25,689 --> 00:04:27,759 All right, it wouldn't kill me. 99 00:04:30,769 --> 00:04:32,646 How long does it take to find a bra? 100 00:04:33,009 --> 00:04:34,601 What's going on in there? 101 00:04:34,769 --> 00:04:37,966 You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I'm back in two seconds. 102 00:04:39,249 --> 00:04:41,717 You know about the cup sizes and all? 103 00:04:43,809 --> 00:04:48,007 - They have different cups. - Yeah, I know about the cups. 104 00:04:50,929 --> 00:04:52,806 You got the A... 105 00:04:53,449 --> 00:04:54,723 ...the B... 106 00:04:54,889 --> 00:04:56,368 ...the C... 107 00:04:56,769 --> 00:04:59,078 ...the D. That's the biggest. 108 00:05:00,289 --> 00:05:02,120 I know the D is the biggest. 109 00:05:02,289 --> 00:05:05,884 I base my whole life on knowing that the D is the biggest. 110 00:05:06,049 --> 00:05:08,244 - Here. Here's the bra. - Let me see it. 111 00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:10,843 "One hundred percent Lycra spandex." 112 00:05:11,009 --> 00:05:12,920 - Let me see. - I told you. 113 00:05:13,089 --> 00:05:16,206 Here. You think you know everything. 114 00:05:17,689 --> 00:05:19,247 That's surprising. 115 00:05:19,889 --> 00:05:21,481 All right, what else? 116 00:05:21,649 --> 00:05:23,879 You got the cups in the front... 117 00:05:24,049 --> 00:05:26,609 ...two loops in the back, all right? 118 00:05:26,769 --> 00:05:30,205 - I guess that's about it. - I got it. Cups in front, loops in back. 119 00:05:30,369 --> 00:05:32,678 You got ketchup on it. 120 00:05:38,929 --> 00:05:40,806 Sniffing? What do you mean, sniffing? 121 00:05:40,969 --> 00:05:43,961 - Sniffing. With his nose. - Jerry, he probably had a cold. 122 00:05:44,129 --> 00:05:46,962 - No, he didn't. I asked him. - So, what are you saying? 123 00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:50,201 - I don't know. You know, what if...? - Drugs? 124 00:05:50,369 --> 00:05:52,485 - You think he's on drugs? - I don't know. 125 00:05:52,649 --> 00:05:54,287 - Jerry- - All I know is he was sniffing. 126 00:05:54,449 --> 00:05:56,519 - Listen, we went in on a CD together. - I know. 127 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,088 And Newman gave you money too. 128 00:05:58,249 --> 00:06:00,717 See, I didn't even meet this guy. We trusted you. 129 00:06:00,889 --> 00:06:03,039 Look, it doesn't necessarily mean anything yet. 130 00:06:03,209 --> 00:06:05,962 - It just means he was sniffing. - Well, what else? Was he nervous? 131 00:06:06,129 --> 00:06:09,758 Did he use a lot of slang? Did he use the word "man"? 132 00:06:11,769 --> 00:06:13,088 No, he didn't use "man." 133 00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:16,161 I mean, when he was leaving, did he say, "I'm splitting"? 134 00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:19,364 No, but at one point, he did use the bathroom. 135 00:06:23,409 --> 00:06:25,969 - You think that's a bad sign? - Yes, that's what they do. 136 00:06:26,129 --> 00:06:27,528 They live in the bathroom. 137 00:06:27,689 --> 00:06:30,044 What are we gonna do? We're gonna get our money, right? 138 00:06:30,209 --> 00:06:32,040 I don't know. This sweater really itches me. 139 00:06:32,209 --> 00:06:33,881 - You want it? - Yeah. 140 00:06:38,369 --> 00:06:40,929 Hello. Hel- 141 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,721 Well, you notice anything? 142 00:06:43,889 --> 00:06:46,357 You have cleaned up the whole apartment... 143 00:06:46,529 --> 00:06:48,360 ...and you're making dinner. You're perfect. 144 00:06:48,529 --> 00:06:50,997 You're a perfect man. 145 00:06:55,329 --> 00:06:57,206 - Did anyone call? - You got a few messages. 146 00:06:57,369 --> 00:06:59,087 - I wrote them down. - Where are they? 147 00:06:59,249 --> 00:07:02,559 Let's see, they are... Here they are. 148 00:07:02,729 --> 00:07:04,560 Thank you. 149 00:07:04,729 --> 00:07:07,289 Oh, yeah. I'll call you back. 150 00:07:08,649 --> 00:07:11,402 Forget that- Myra had the baby! 151 00:07:11,569 --> 00:07:13,161 Oh, my God. That's wonderful. 152 00:07:13,329 --> 00:07:14,603 - Who called? - She did. 153 00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:16,999 She did? Oh, that's so great. 154 00:07:17,409 --> 00:07:20,526 - Where do you keep the corkscrew? - It's in the drawer on the right. 155 00:07:24,529 --> 00:07:25,882 What? 156 00:07:26,089 --> 00:07:27,568 No, it's nothing. 157 00:07:27,729 --> 00:07:29,879 - No, what is it? - It's nothing. 158 00:07:30,129 --> 00:07:31,562 Tell me. 159 00:07:32,089 --> 00:07:36,480 Well, I was just curious why you didn't use an exclamation point. 160 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:40,043 What are you talking about? 161 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,439 Well, see right here? You wrote, "Myra had the baby." 162 00:07:42,609 --> 00:07:45,328 But you didn't use an exclamation point. 163 00:07:45,489 --> 00:07:47,002 So? 164 00:07:47,169 --> 00:07:49,558 So it's- Yeah, it's nothing. Forget it. Forget it. 165 00:07:49,729 --> 00:07:51,606 You know, I just found it curious. 166 00:07:51,769 --> 00:07:54,329 Wait, what's so curious about it? 167 00:07:54,489 --> 00:07:58,277 Well, I mean, if one of your close friends had a baby... 168 00:07:58,449 --> 00:08:01,566 ...and I left you a message about it, I would use an exclamation point. 169 00:08:01,729 --> 00:08:03,765 Well, maybe I don't use my exclamation points... 170 00:08:03,929 --> 00:08:05,965 ...as haphazardly as you do. 171 00:08:06,929 --> 00:08:09,489 You don't think that someone having a baby... 172 00:08:09,649 --> 00:08:11,401 ...warrants an exclamation point? 173 00:08:11,569 --> 00:08:13,446 Hey, look, I just jotted down the message. 174 00:08:13,609 --> 00:08:16,840 I didn't know that I was required to capture the mood of each caller. 175 00:08:17,169 --> 00:08:21,208 Well, I just thought you'd be a little more excited about a friend of mine... 176 00:08:21,369 --> 00:08:23,246 - ... having a baby. - Okay, I'm excited. 177 00:08:23,409 --> 00:08:25,639 I just don't happen to like exclamation points. 178 00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,720 Well, Jake, you should learn to use them. 179 00:08:27,889 --> 00:08:30,642 Like, the way I'm talking now, I'd put exclamation points... 180 00:08:30,809 --> 00:08:34,165 ...on the ends all of these sentences! On this one! And on that one! 181 00:08:34,329 --> 00:08:36,559 Well, you can put one on this one: 182 00:08:36,729 --> 00:08:38,208 I'm leaving! 183 00:08:43,369 --> 00:08:45,087 - You're out of your mind. - Why? 184 00:08:45,249 --> 00:08:47,080 It's an exclamation point. 185 00:08:47,249 --> 00:08:50,764 - It's a line with a dot under it. - Well, I felt it called for one. 186 00:08:50,929 --> 00:08:53,124 "Called for one."I thought I'd heard of everything. 187 00:08:53,289 --> 00:08:56,167 I never heard of a relationship being affected by punctuation. 188 00:08:56,329 --> 00:08:58,889 I found it very troubling that he didn't use one. 189 00:09:00,129 --> 00:09:02,689 George is right. Didn't take you long. 190 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,960 Anything new with that guy on drugs? 191 00:09:08,369 --> 00:09:09,927 He's not on drugs. 192 00:09:10,089 --> 00:09:13,968 Then why the sniffing? Who walks around... sniffing? 193 00:09:14,129 --> 00:09:16,165 All right, here. You call him right now, okay? 194 00:09:16,329 --> 00:09:19,401 - See if he's sniffing right now. - Good idea. 195 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,448 - Prophet and Goldstein. - Yes, Barry Prophet, please. 196 00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,361 I'm sorry, he's out of town this week. 197 00:09:28,529 --> 00:09:30,997 - Out of town? - Yes. He went to South America. 198 00:09:31,169 --> 00:09:33,558 - South America? - South America? 199 00:09:33,729 --> 00:09:35,321 I'll call back. Thank you. 200 00:09:35,489 --> 00:09:38,447 - He went to South America. - Yeah! 201 00:09:39,409 --> 00:09:40,762 So what? 202 00:09:41,089 --> 00:09:44,843 - Who goes to South America? - People go to South America. 203 00:09:45,009 --> 00:09:48,160 Yeah, and they come back with things taped to their large intestine. 204 00:09:49,009 --> 00:09:50,681 So because of a few bad apples... 205 00:09:50,849 --> 00:09:52,965 ...you're gonna impugn an entire continent? 206 00:09:53,129 --> 00:09:54,926 Yes, I'm impugning a continent. 207 00:09:55,089 --> 00:09:57,398 Well, I say we go and get our money right now. 208 00:09:57,849 --> 00:10:00,602 - Hey. Hey. - Hello, Newman. 209 00:10:00,769 --> 00:10:02,680 Hello, Jerry. 210 00:10:03,009 --> 00:10:04,328 So any news? 211 00:10:04,489 --> 00:10:06,559 Yeah, he skipped out and... went to South America. 212 00:10:06,729 --> 00:10:07,878 South America?! 213 00:10:08,049 --> 00:10:11,200 What kind of snow blower did you get us mixed up with? 214 00:10:11,649 --> 00:10:15,278 Okay, gentlemen, the fact remains you still have no proof. 215 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,644 This is all speculation and hearsay. 216 00:10:17,809 --> 00:10:20,960 Wait. There's one way to find out. We set up a sting. 217 00:10:21,649 --> 00:10:25,198 You know, like Abscam. Like Abscam, Jerry. 218 00:10:25,809 --> 00:10:26,958 What are you gonna do? 219 00:10:27,129 --> 00:10:30,405 You gonna put on phoney beards and dress up like Arab sheiks... 220 00:10:30,569 --> 00:10:32,241 ...and sit around in some hotel room? 221 00:10:32,409 --> 00:10:34,718 - I mean, come on. - Wait a second. 222 00:10:34,889 --> 00:10:36,959 Maybe there is a way to tempt him and find out. 223 00:10:37,129 --> 00:10:41,008 If we put our three heads together, we should come up with something. 224 00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:52,688 - What's today? - It's Thursday. 225 00:10:52,849 --> 00:10:54,202 Really? 226 00:10:54,369 --> 00:10:56,360 Feels like Tuesday. 227 00:10:57,009 --> 00:10:58,806 Tuesday has no feel. 228 00:10:58,969 --> 00:11:01,039 Monday has a feel. 229 00:11:01,249 --> 00:11:02,887 Friday has a feel. 230 00:11:03,049 --> 00:11:04,198 Sunday has a feel. 231 00:11:04,369 --> 00:11:07,088 - I feel Tuesday and Wednesday. - Shut up, the both of you. 232 00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,523 You're making me nervous. 233 00:11:09,609 --> 00:11:12,362 Where is he already? He should've been out of work by now. 234 00:11:12,529 --> 00:11:13,882 Hey, this is kind of fun. 235 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:16,643 Yeah. Maybe we ought to become private detectives. 236 00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:18,128 Yeah, maybe you should. 237 00:11:18,289 --> 00:11:21,247 - Maybe I will. - Yeah, me too. 238 00:11:21,649 --> 00:11:23,401 All right, what are you gonna say to him? 239 00:11:23,569 --> 00:11:25,799 Just gonna find out if he's interested. 240 00:11:25,969 --> 00:11:27,561 Hey, maybe I should go in with him. 241 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,685 - No, you stay in the car. - Who made you leader? 242 00:11:29,849 --> 00:11:33,205 All right, Newman. One more peep out of you, you're out of the operation. 243 00:11:34,889 --> 00:11:37,323 There he is. He's going into that bar. 244 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,007 All right... 245 00:11:41,809 --> 00:11:43,800 - ... I'm going in. - Be careful, Kramer. 246 00:11:47,049 --> 00:11:48,277 I should've gone in with him. 247 00:11:48,449 --> 00:11:50,440 No, you stay here in the car. I may need you. 248 00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:52,042 What do you need me in the car for? 249 00:11:52,209 --> 00:11:54,643 I might need you to get me a soda. 250 00:12:04,049 --> 00:12:06,244 I'll have a brewski, Charlie. 251 00:12:06,409 --> 00:12:08,206 The name's Mitch. 252 00:12:08,369 --> 00:12:10,929 Well, there's nothing like a cold one after a long day, huh? 253 00:12:11,089 --> 00:12:12,841 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. 254 00:12:13,009 --> 00:12:15,967 Yeah, I've been known to drink a beer or two. 255 00:12:16,209 --> 00:12:19,360 But then again, I've been known to do a lot of things. 256 00:12:31,129 --> 00:12:32,960 - Cigarette? - No, no. I never touch them. 257 00:12:33,329 --> 00:12:34,523 Well... 258 00:12:34,689 --> 00:12:37,647 ...I suck them down like Coca-Cola. 259 00:12:39,489 --> 00:12:40,683 Well... 260 00:12:40,849 --> 00:12:43,647 ...here's to feeling good all the time, huh? 261 00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:03,686 Looks like you got yourself a little cold there, huh, fella? 262 00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:06,761 - I don't think so. - Me neither. 263 00:13:13,809 --> 00:13:16,448 You should try this new dental floss, Glide. It's fantastic. 264 00:13:16,609 --> 00:13:18,759 - I use Dentotape. - You should try this. 265 00:13:19,609 --> 00:13:21,804 - I don't wanna. - Not even once? 266 00:13:22,289 --> 00:13:25,406 - No. - You know, you're an idiot. 267 00:13:25,569 --> 00:13:27,048 Why, because I use Dentotape? 268 00:13:27,209 --> 00:13:30,724 Right. Anyone who uses Dentotape is an idiot. 269 00:13:31,129 --> 00:13:32,847 - South America, huh? - Yeah, yeah. 270 00:13:33,009 --> 00:13:34,328 That's a burgeoning continent. 271 00:13:34,489 --> 00:13:37,162 Well, they are expanding their economic base, yeah. 272 00:13:37,329 --> 00:13:38,557 Tell me about it. 273 00:13:39,009 --> 00:13:40,840 Excuse me, I gotta go to the bathroom. 274 00:13:41,009 --> 00:13:42,442 I'm hip. 275 00:13:44,129 --> 00:13:47,758 - Hip to what? - To the whole scene. 276 00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:51,681 - What scene? - The bathroom scene. 277 00:13:53,449 --> 00:13:55,917 Listen, don't take this personally, but when I come back... 278 00:13:56,089 --> 00:13:59,206 - ... I'm sitting over there. - Whatever turns you on. 279 00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:06,962 - No, no, I don't like it. - What do you mean, you don't like it? 280 00:14:07,129 --> 00:14:10,007 - How could you not like it? - I like the thick tape. 281 00:14:32,209 --> 00:14:35,246 Hey. What kind of nut are you? 282 00:14:38,009 --> 00:14:42,241 So basically, George, the job here is quite simple. 283 00:14:42,409 --> 00:14:44,047 Selling bras. 284 00:14:44,209 --> 00:14:46,928 That interests me very much, Mr. Farkus. Very much indeed, sir. 285 00:14:47,089 --> 00:14:49,000 Have you ever sold a woman's line before? 286 00:14:49,169 --> 00:14:51,160 No, but... 287 00:14:51,329 --> 00:14:53,718 ...I have a very good rapport with women. 288 00:14:53,889 --> 00:14:55,641 Very good. Comfortable. 289 00:14:55,809 --> 00:14:59,848 And from the first time I laid eyes on a brassiere... 290 00:15:00,009 --> 00:15:01,567 ...I was enthralled. 291 00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:05,327 Tell me about it. 292 00:15:05,809 --> 00:15:08,243 Well, I was 14 years old... 293 00:15:08,409 --> 00:15:10,604 ...I was in my friend's bathroom... 294 00:15:10,769 --> 00:15:14,478 ...his mother's brassiere was hanging over the shower rod. 295 00:15:14,729 --> 00:15:16,208 I picked it up. 296 00:15:16,369 --> 00:15:18,166 I studied it. 297 00:15:18,529 --> 00:15:20,042 I thought: 298 00:15:20,209 --> 00:15:21,403 "I like this." 299 00:15:21,569 --> 00:15:24,959 I didn't know in what way or on what level, but I knew... 300 00:15:25,129 --> 00:15:27,518 ...I wanted to be around brassieres. 301 00:15:27,689 --> 00:15:30,249 That's an incredible story. 302 00:15:30,969 --> 00:15:34,518 You have a remarkable passion for brassieres. 303 00:15:34,689 --> 00:15:37,761 Well, they're more than just underwear to me, Mr. Farkus. 304 00:15:38,249 --> 00:15:39,967 Two cups in the front... 305 00:15:40,129 --> 00:15:42,120 ...two loops in the back... 306 00:15:42,369 --> 00:15:43,404 ...how do they do it? 307 00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:45,761 Well, I think I can say... 308 00:15:45,929 --> 00:15:47,885 ...barring some unforeseen incident... 309 00:15:48,049 --> 00:15:51,200 ...that you will have a very bright future here at E.D. Granmont. 310 00:15:51,969 --> 00:15:54,437 Thank you, Mr. Farkus. Thank you very much indeed, sir. 311 00:15:54,609 --> 00:15:55,962 See you Monday, 9:00. 312 00:15:56,569 --> 00:15:58,241 If you don't mind, sir... 313 00:15:58,409 --> 00:16:00,001 ...I'll be here at 8. 314 00:16:00,329 --> 00:16:01,808 Excellent. 315 00:16:02,089 --> 00:16:04,080 So long, Mr. Farkus. 316 00:16:14,609 --> 00:16:17,328 - What do you think you're doing? - Nothing. What? 317 00:16:17,489 --> 00:16:18,922 Farkus, get out here. 318 00:16:19,409 --> 00:16:21,320 Oh, yes, Ms. De Granmont? 319 00:16:21,489 --> 00:16:22,717 Farkus... 320 00:16:22,889 --> 00:16:25,005 ...who is this perverted little weasel? 321 00:16:25,169 --> 00:16:27,729 This is Costanza, he's our new bra salesman. 322 00:16:27,889 --> 00:16:29,641 He's supposed to start on Monday. 323 00:16:30,049 --> 00:16:32,199 If he's here on Monday, you're not. 324 00:16:32,369 --> 00:16:33,961 Take your pick. 325 00:16:34,929 --> 00:16:38,239 Get out. I'm terribly sorry, Ms. De Granmont. 326 00:16:39,649 --> 00:16:41,401 You wanted to see me, Mr. Lippman? 327 00:16:41,569 --> 00:16:45,687 I was just going over the Jake Jarmel book... 328 00:16:45,849 --> 00:16:48,841 ...and I understand you worked with him very closely on this. 329 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:51,045 Yes- Yes, I did. 330 00:16:51,209 --> 00:16:54,087 And anyway, I was just reading your final edit... 331 00:16:54,249 --> 00:16:59,642 ...and there seems to be an inordinate number of exclamation points. 332 00:17:00,049 --> 00:17:06,079 Well, I- I felt that the writing lacked a certain emotion and intensity. 333 00:17:06,249 --> 00:17:07,523 You know, it's... 334 00:17:07,689 --> 00:17:12,763 "It was a damp and chilly afternoon, so I decided to put on my sweatshirt!" 335 00:17:13,329 --> 00:17:14,523 Right. Well- 336 00:17:14,689 --> 00:17:16,805 You put an exclamation point after "sweatshirt." 337 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:21,167 That's correct. I felt that the character doesn't like to be chilly. 338 00:17:21,329 --> 00:17:22,478 I see. 339 00:17:22,649 --> 00:17:25,959 "I pulled the lever on the machine, but the Clark bar didn't come out!" 340 00:17:26,769 --> 00:17:28,521 - Again, exclamation point. - Yeah. 341 00:17:28,689 --> 00:17:30,600 Well, you know how frustrating that can be... 342 00:17:30,769 --> 00:17:33,488 ...when you keep putting quarters and quarters into a machine... 343 00:17:33,649 --> 00:17:36,925 - ... and... nothing comes out. - Get rid of the exclamation points. 344 00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:38,886 - Okay, I will. - I hate exclamation points. 345 00:17:39,049 --> 00:17:40,528 Okay. 346 00:17:41,529 --> 00:17:43,406 Just- I'll- 347 00:17:44,729 --> 00:17:46,321 "Dear Barry, consider this letter... 348 00:17:46,489 --> 00:17:49,242 ...the termination of our relationship, effective immediately." 349 00:17:49,409 --> 00:17:51,206 - Exclamation point. - Right. 350 00:17:52,449 --> 00:17:54,087 You still have no proof. 351 00:17:54,249 --> 00:17:56,285 Elaine, he was sniffing like crazy around me. 352 00:17:56,449 --> 00:17:59,009 "I will expect all funds in the form of a cashier's check... 353 00:17:59,169 --> 00:18:00,602 ...no later than the 18th." 354 00:18:00,769 --> 00:18:03,078 Double exclamation point. 355 00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:05,487 - Will that take care of ours too? - Yep. 356 00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,879 I'll give you yours as soon as I get my money back. 357 00:18:08,049 --> 00:18:09,641 Want me to mail it? I'm on my way out. 358 00:18:09,809 --> 00:18:13,085 - Yeah, thanks. - All right. Be my pleasure. 359 00:18:17,049 --> 00:18:18,926 See you later. 360 00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:21,486 You know, this is- 361 00:18:22,529 --> 00:18:24,520 - Hey, Ralph. - What's up, fellas? 362 00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:26,520 - That'll be 14.30. - All right. 363 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:29,283 - Mushrooms? You got mushrooms. - Yeah. 364 00:18:30,169 --> 00:18:32,888 - What's the matter, you got a cold? - No, man. 365 00:18:33,049 --> 00:18:35,483 - Kramer, what is this? - It's a sweater. 366 00:18:35,649 --> 00:18:38,288 - What is it made out of? - I don't know. Jerry gave it to me. 367 00:18:38,449 --> 00:18:40,838 - It's mohair, I think. - Mohair. That figures. 368 00:18:41,009 --> 00:18:42,567 I'm allergic to mohair. 369 00:18:42,729 --> 00:18:45,004 - You mean, you just started sniffing? - Yeah. 370 00:18:45,169 --> 00:18:46,727 Mohair does it to me every time. 371 00:18:48,489 --> 00:18:51,242 I was wearing that sweater in the coffee shop when Barry came in. 372 00:18:51,409 --> 00:18:55,243 - Jerry, I was wearing it in the bar. - The sweater made him sniff. 373 00:18:55,409 --> 00:18:57,798 See? I told you he wasn't a drug addict. 374 00:18:57,969 --> 00:18:59,118 Oh, no, the letter. 375 00:18:59,289 --> 00:19:02,440 Newman- It's got exclamation points all over it. 376 00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:05,407 Not to mention the picture of him on the toilet. 377 00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:10,683 The what? 378 00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:22,999 - After you. - Thank you. 379 00:19:25,169 --> 00:19:26,841 Get your hands off of me! 380 00:19:27,129 --> 00:19:29,723 Johnny! Johnny! 381 00:19:34,929 --> 00:19:36,681 What do you mean, you felt her material? 382 00:19:36,849 --> 00:19:38,362 What? With your fingers, like this? 383 00:19:38,529 --> 00:19:40,679 So what? What's so bad about that? 384 00:19:40,849 --> 00:19:43,409 Who goes around feeling people's material? 385 00:19:43,569 --> 00:19:46,925 What can be gained by feeling a person's material? 386 00:19:47,089 --> 00:19:48,363 It's insanity. 387 00:19:48,529 --> 00:19:51,168 Whatever happened to, "My, that's a lovely dress you have on. 388 00:19:51,329 --> 00:19:52,523 May I have this dance?" 389 00:19:58,609 --> 00:20:01,919 You know, you are really lucky Newman never mailed that letter. 390 00:20:02,689 --> 00:20:05,601 Sorry I'm late. I just came from a meeting with my lawyer. 391 00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:07,248 - Hey. - What is this? 392 00:20:07,409 --> 00:20:11,038 It's a letter from your friend Barry Prophet's lawyer. 393 00:20:11,889 --> 00:20:13,880 He's filing Chapter 11? 394 00:20:14,049 --> 00:20:16,040 What's going on? Why is he filing Chapter 11? 395 00:20:16,209 --> 00:20:17,483 Bankruptcy. 396 00:20:17,649 --> 00:20:20,527 Bankruptcy. As in, "I've taken your money and spent it on drugs." 397 00:20:21,449 --> 00:20:23,201 What? I thought it was the sweater. 398 00:20:23,369 --> 00:20:25,325 - What about the money? - What about the money? 399 00:20:25,489 --> 00:20:27,445 If I had dissolved my relationship with him... 400 00:20:27,609 --> 00:20:30,521 ...prior to his filing Chapter 11, I could've got the money back. 401 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:31,883 Which I would've done... 402 00:20:32,049 --> 00:20:35,883 ...if a certain imbecile had been able to get to a mailbox and mail a letter. 403 00:20:41,489 --> 00:20:43,366 Pair of bear claws, please. 404 00:20:49,729 --> 00:20:51,162 Nice. 405 00:20:51,329 --> 00:20:53,160 - Think so? - Yeah, what is it? 406 00:20:53,489 --> 00:20:55,366 Half silk, half cotton, half linen. 407 00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:59,559 How can you go wrong? 408 00:21:07,569 --> 00:21:09,958 My accountant actually did... 409 00:21:10,129 --> 00:21:13,246 ...take a big chunk of money from me and use it to buy drugs. 410 00:21:13,409 --> 00:21:16,048 The thing that was hardest for me to comprehend about this... 411 00:21:16,209 --> 00:21:20,521 ...is the life choice of drug abuse and accounting. 412 00:21:21,689 --> 00:21:24,157 It makes sense. Why would an athlete or musician take drugs? 413 00:21:24,329 --> 00:21:25,648 They have an interesting job. 414 00:21:25,809 --> 00:21:29,279 But an accountant? If ever a job required hallucinogenic support... 415 00:21:29,449 --> 00:21:31,087 ...this is the job. 416 00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:33,479 That should be the legal defence. 417 00:21:33,649 --> 00:21:36,209 "You're charged with possession of illegal narcotics." 418 00:21:36,369 --> 00:21:39,202 "But, Your Honour, I'm an accountant." 419 00:21:39,889 --> 00:21:41,083 Bang."Case closed. 420 00:21:41,249 --> 00:21:44,605 Bailiff, give this man his peyote and tequila back for the drive home. 421 00:21:44,769 --> 00:21:47,078 Sorry to bother you, sir. Terribly sorry." 422 00:21:54,449 --> 00:21:55,438 Subtitles by SDl Media Group