1 00:00:03,500 --> 00:00:03,500 Of all the places you go... 2 00:00:04,774 --> 00:00:06,730 ...the dry cleaning relationship's the oddest. 3 00:00:06,894 --> 00:00:08,850 You give each other the same thing... 4 00:00:09,014 --> 00:00:10,970 ...back and forth over and over again. 5 00:00:11,134 --> 00:00:14,046 He gives it to you, you give it to him, he gives it back to you. 6 00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,250 lt's like it's half his shirt, in a way. 7 00:00:16,414 --> 00:00:17,847 He has it as much as you do. 8 00:00:18,014 --> 00:00:20,892 You ought to shop with him. ''What do you think of this shirt?'' 9 00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:23,363 ''That would look good with a light starch.'' 10 00:00:24,814 --> 00:00:27,886 The only warning label people respect is ''dry-clean only.'' 11 00:00:28,054 --> 00:00:30,443 Speed limits, lung cancer, cigarette warnings... 12 00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:33,526 ...your life is at stake. People go, ''Ah, the hell with it.'' 13 00:00:33,694 --> 00:00:35,969 But dry-clean only? '' Don't put that in the wash. 14 00:00:36,134 --> 00:00:38,204 lt's dry-clean only. Are you crazy?'' 15 00:00:43,374 --> 00:00:44,966 -Good morning. -Good morning. 16 00:00:45,134 --> 00:00:48,012 -How did you sleep? -You're on the couch tonight. 17 00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:50,608 -You were all over my side. -l was not. 18 00:00:50,774 --> 00:00:53,493 l was sleeping with one cheek off the bed. 19 00:00:53,934 --> 00:00:56,812 By the way, you're falling way behind on the '' l love you's.'' 20 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,727 -No, no, 1 2-8. -No, it's 1 5-8. 21 00:01:00,774 --> 00:01:02,765 l can't beat you. l'm trying to stay competitive. 22 00:01:02,934 --> 00:01:05,448 -Let's get some breakfast. -Let me get a coat. 23 00:01:05,694 --> 00:01:08,049 l think l'll try a sports jacket and scarf thing. 24 00:01:08,214 --> 00:01:10,330 You know, like an unemployed actor. 25 00:01:13,854 --> 00:01:15,651 l haven't worn this one in a long time. 26 00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:18,647 -Cashmere? -No, Gore-Tex. 27 00:01:19,134 --> 00:01:20,453 lt's new. 28 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,923 Look at this locket. What the hell's this? 29 00:01:23,094 --> 00:01:24,573 There's a picture in here. Look. 30 00:01:24,734 --> 00:01:27,009 This is really old. You don't know whose it is? 31 00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,608 l haven't worn this jacket since l had it dry-cleaned. 32 00:01:29,774 --> 00:01:31,730 -We should ask. -We'll stop over there. 33 00:01:31,894 --> 00:01:34,283 -What do you wanna get for breakfast? -Pancakes. 34 00:01:34,454 --> 00:01:36,092 You know l'm getting pancakes. 35 00:01:36,254 --> 00:01:38,643 -l don't know that. -We can't both get pancakes. 36 00:01:38,814 --> 00:01:42,568 lt's embarrassing. That's one step from the couples that dress alike. 37 00:01:42,734 --> 00:01:45,612 -l'll get the short stack. -That's why l love you. 38 00:01:45,774 --> 00:01:47,127 1 5-9. 39 00:01:49,214 --> 00:01:51,489 -How you doing? -We just got back from breakfast. 40 00:01:51,654 --> 00:01:54,646 -Pancakes were dynamite. -ls that my maple syrup? 41 00:01:56,894 --> 00:01:57,883 Yeah. 42 00:01:58,054 --> 00:01:59,726 -You bring your own syrup? -Got to. 43 00:01:59,894 --> 00:02:01,771 You got a lot to learn about pancakes. 44 00:02:04,414 --> 00:02:07,292 This is my wife. She died eight years ago. 45 00:02:07,454 --> 00:02:09,285 l've been looking all over for this. 46 00:02:09,454 --> 00:02:12,412 lt's lucky that l put the jacket on. How did it get in the pocket? 47 00:02:12,574 --> 00:02:16,010 The chain is broken. lt must have slipped in when l was.... 48 00:02:16,854 --> 00:02:20,369 l turned my house upside down looking for this. 49 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,693 -lt's all l have left of her. -That's so touching. 50 00:02:23,854 --> 00:02:25,128 You know what l'm gonna do? 51 00:02:25,454 --> 00:02:28,730 l'm gonna give you and your family 25 percent off your dry cleaning. 52 00:02:28,894 --> 00:02:31,852 -Oh, come on. lt's silly. -Forget it. 53 00:02:32,014 --> 00:02:33,208 -Get out of here. -lt's done. 54 00:02:33,374 --> 00:02:34,648 All right. 55 00:02:34,814 --> 00:02:38,170 l guess l get it too, because l'm his wife. 56 00:02:40,174 --> 00:02:41,971 l didn't know you were married. 57 00:02:42,174 --> 00:02:43,892 Oh, yeah. 58 00:02:44,814 --> 00:02:48,250 You never met my wife, Meryl. Meryl Seinfeld. 59 00:02:49,014 --> 00:02:50,970 Yeah, sure. You get the discount too. 60 00:02:51,134 --> 00:02:52,965 You may regret that. The money my wife... 61 00:02:53,134 --> 00:02:55,602 -...spends on clothes-- -l'm taking him to the cleaners. 62 00:02:55,774 --> 00:02:57,048 See her sense of humour? 63 00:02:57,214 --> 00:03:00,251 l'm so nuts about you. l tell you, it was fun being single. 64 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:04,043 But when you meet a woman like this, you don't walk to get married. You run. 65 00:03:07,934 --> 00:03:09,526 Oh. Hi, Greg. 66 00:03:09,694 --> 00:03:11,286 -Haven't seen you in a while. -Yeah. 67 00:03:11,454 --> 00:03:15,288 Today was the first day l've worked out since the Central Park mini-marathon. 68 00:03:15,454 --> 00:03:19,367 -You ran the mini-marathon? -No, but l exercised that day. 69 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,967 l gotta take off. 70 00:03:23,134 --> 00:03:25,887 As an airline pilot, you're one of the few people who can... 71 00:03:26,054 --> 00:03:28,010 ...say that and mean it. 72 00:03:32,094 --> 00:03:34,005 -Do you have the time? -Eleven-thirty. 73 00:03:34,174 --> 00:03:37,371 -Eleven-thirty? -Wait, wait, 1 0:30. Sorry. 74 00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:39,732 -You have to be somewhere? -No. 75 00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:42,323 -What are you doing? -Waiting for my friend George. 76 00:03:42,494 --> 00:03:44,371 We worked out together. 77 00:03:45,014 --> 00:03:47,209 -lt's good seeing you. -Nice to see you too. 78 00:03:47,574 --> 00:03:48,848 Bye. 79 00:03:55,334 --> 00:03:56,767 Would you...? 80 00:03:57,134 --> 00:03:58,647 -Can l--? -Pardon? 81 00:03:58,974 --> 00:04:00,566 The syrup. Would you pass the syrup? 82 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:04,483 Oh, you want to try the syrup. 83 00:04:06,334 --> 00:04:07,926 Can l get you anything else? 84 00:04:08,774 --> 00:04:11,083 Yeah. My wife and l will have a little more coffee. 85 00:04:11,254 --> 00:04:13,643 -Okay. -And the check for my husband. 86 00:04:17,854 --> 00:04:19,128 To my beautiful wife. 87 00:04:19,934 --> 00:04:21,606 To my adoring husband. 88 00:04:21,854 --> 00:04:24,652 -Adoring? What about handsome? -l like adoring. 89 00:04:24,814 --> 00:04:27,533 Yeah, sure. Adoring's good for you. What's it do for me? 90 00:04:29,974 --> 00:04:31,327 Excuse me. 91 00:04:31,774 --> 00:04:33,446 Where did you get that? 92 00:04:33,614 --> 00:04:35,127 l-- Well-- 93 00:04:35,294 --> 00:04:39,606 We don't allow any outside syrups... 94 00:04:39,934 --> 00:04:42,653 ...jams, or condiments in the restaurant. 95 00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:47,292 And if l catch you in here with that again... 96 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,445 ...l will confiscate it. 97 00:04:49,614 --> 00:04:52,333 Well, l told my wife not to bring it. 98 00:04:53,534 --> 00:04:55,843 Really? Twenty-five percent off? 99 00:04:56,014 --> 00:04:58,653 -Do l get that too? -No. Just Meryl. 100 00:04:58,814 --> 00:05:01,851 -Why does she get it? -Because she's my wife. 101 00:05:03,894 --> 00:05:05,532 Yeah? 102 00:05:07,694 --> 00:05:10,492 l tell you, l'm really enjoying this marriage thing. 103 00:05:10,654 --> 00:05:13,043 You think about each other. You care about each other. 104 00:05:13,214 --> 00:05:14,966 lt's wonderful. l love saying '' My wife.'' 105 00:05:15,134 --> 00:05:16,886 Once l started saying it, l can't stop. 106 00:05:17,054 --> 00:05:19,010 '' My wife'' this, ''my wife'' that. 107 00:05:19,174 --> 00:05:21,847 lt's an amazing way to begin a sentence. 108 00:05:22,174 --> 00:05:24,847 '' My wife has an inner ear infection.'' 109 00:05:27,254 --> 00:05:29,290 -See? -l like that. 110 00:05:29,774 --> 00:05:32,811 Will you do me a favour? Will you take my quilt to the cleaners... 111 00:05:32,974 --> 00:05:34,487 ...so l can get the discount too? 112 00:05:34,654 --> 00:05:36,724 We're doing this now? l can't be taking... 113 00:05:36,894 --> 00:05:40,807 -...all your dry cleaning in. -Just this one time. lt's expensive. 114 00:05:41,934 --> 00:05:43,128 Hey, Elaine. 115 00:05:43,294 --> 00:05:46,013 What do you say, if neither of us is married in 1 0 years... 116 00:05:46,174 --> 00:05:48,051 -...we get hitched? -Let's make it 50. 117 00:05:49,254 --> 00:05:52,132 We're engaged. All right, l'm gonna get my quilt. 118 00:05:53,734 --> 00:05:55,053 All right. Listen to this. 119 00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:57,051 Remember that guy at the health club? 120 00:05:57,214 --> 00:05:58,567 The flyboy. Where's George? 121 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,884 -l thought he was with you. -He didn't show up. 122 00:06:01,054 --> 00:06:03,966 Anyway, this guy gave me... 123 00:06:04,134 --> 00:06:06,250 ...an open-lip kiss. 124 00:06:07,254 --> 00:06:09,006 -So? -So? 125 00:06:09,214 --> 00:06:10,806 We've always just kind of pecked. 126 00:06:10,974 --> 00:06:12,487 This one had a different dynamic. 127 00:06:12,654 --> 00:06:14,167 -Really? -Yeah. l mean.... 128 00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:16,609 His upper lip landed flush on my upper lip... 129 00:06:16,774 --> 00:06:20,892 ...but his lower lip landed well below my rim. 130 00:06:21,054 --> 00:06:22,931 -Moisture? -Yeah. Definite moisture. 131 00:06:23,094 --> 00:06:25,130 -That's an open-lip kiss, all right. -Yeah. 132 00:06:25,374 --> 00:06:27,126 l think he's giving me a big signal. 133 00:06:27,294 --> 00:06:29,364 Maybe he wants to change our relationship. 134 00:06:32,134 --> 00:06:33,453 Yeah. 135 00:06:35,134 --> 00:06:37,853 -It's George. -Hey, what happened to you? 136 00:06:38,654 --> 00:06:40,963 Nothing. A little problem. 137 00:06:42,974 --> 00:06:44,726 What was it? l mean, l was waiting. 138 00:06:44,894 --> 00:06:47,488 Can I come upstairs, please? 139 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:50,087 Maybe he wants to ask me out. 140 00:06:50,254 --> 00:06:52,324 Why are you interested? He's a jerk. 141 00:06:52,694 --> 00:06:55,606 Because he doesn't pay any attention to me, and he ignores me. 142 00:06:56,254 --> 00:06:58,768 -Yeah, so? -l respect that. 143 00:07:01,774 --> 00:07:03,730 What happened? 144 00:07:03,894 --> 00:07:06,931 Nothing, l said it was a little problem. 145 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,732 Yeah, what was it? 146 00:07:10,334 --> 00:07:13,212 l was in the locker room showering, and l... 147 00:07:13,494 --> 00:07:16,531 -...l had to go, so-- -Here we go. 148 00:07:20,294 --> 00:07:23,889 Anyway, l think the guy in the shower opposite saw me. 149 00:07:24,734 --> 00:07:26,690 He even gave me a dirty look. 150 00:07:27,774 --> 00:07:29,048 You went... 151 00:07:29,214 --> 00:07:30,852 ...in the shower? 152 00:07:32,414 --> 00:07:34,166 Yeah, so what? 153 00:07:34,334 --> 00:07:36,052 l'm not the only one. 154 00:07:36,214 --> 00:07:37,693 -Do you go in the shower? -Never. 155 00:07:37,854 --> 00:07:40,573 -Do you? -l take baths. 156 00:07:43,694 --> 00:07:45,764 What was l supposed to do? 157 00:07:45,934 --> 00:07:47,811 Get out of the shower, put on my robe... 158 00:07:47,974 --> 00:07:50,329 ...go to the other end, come all the way back? 159 00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:53,652 Did you ever hear of holding it in? 160 00:07:54,014 --> 00:07:56,574 Oh, no. That's very bad for the kidneys. 161 00:07:56,814 --> 00:07:59,374 -How do you know? -Medical journals. 162 00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:02,086 Do medical journals mention anything... 163 00:08:02,254 --> 00:08:04,722 ...about standing in a pool of someone else's urine? 164 00:08:09,534 --> 00:08:10,728 Hello. 165 00:08:10,894 --> 00:08:13,533 -Oh, hi, honey. -What are you doing here? 166 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,083 l just thought l'd drop off a few things. 167 00:08:17,574 --> 00:08:20,088 l must have been in the incinerator room when you left. 168 00:08:20,254 --> 00:08:21,687 Here you go, Marty. 169 00:08:21,854 --> 00:08:23,287 Another quilt? 170 00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:26,129 -Jerry. -Uncle Leo. 171 00:08:26,294 --> 00:08:28,171 -Hello. -Hello. 172 00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:31,764 lf you or your wife want to drop by on Wednesday-- 173 00:08:32,854 --> 00:08:34,207 Your wife? 174 00:08:34,374 --> 00:08:35,648 Yeah. 175 00:08:36,014 --> 00:08:37,527 My wife. 176 00:08:37,694 --> 00:08:39,525 What are you talking about? 177 00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:44,006 l got married. 178 00:08:44,534 --> 00:08:46,286 You got married? 179 00:08:46,454 --> 00:08:48,445 l wasn't invited? 180 00:08:49,054 --> 00:08:51,124 Nobody sends me an invitation? 181 00:08:51,414 --> 00:08:53,052 Well, it was sudden. 182 00:08:53,214 --> 00:08:56,570 Are you ashamed of your uncle? Do l embarrass you? 183 00:08:56,734 --> 00:08:58,804 No, no. lt was a small ceremony. 184 00:08:58,974 --> 00:09:01,044 Haven't l always been the good uncle? 185 00:09:01,214 --> 00:09:02,533 Yes, yes, you have. 186 00:09:02,694 --> 00:09:05,527 Who told you when you went to school that you print well? 187 00:09:05,694 --> 00:09:07,286 You did. 188 00:09:07,454 --> 00:09:10,332 When he was younger, he had a beautiful penmanship. 189 00:09:10,494 --> 00:09:12,166 l used to encourage him to print. 190 00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:15,212 -l'm a good printer. -l remember your ''V.'' 191 00:09:15,374 --> 00:09:17,649 lt was like a perfect triangle. 192 00:09:18,014 --> 00:09:20,164 -Oh, there's my bus. -There you go. 193 00:09:20,934 --> 00:09:23,528 -Hello! Wait! -Uncle Leo. Uncle-- 194 00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:28,404 l'm glad you're here. This can get really boring. 195 00:09:29,454 --> 00:09:31,410 You know where l can get some good olives? 196 00:09:32,094 --> 00:09:33,607 -l can find out. -Would you? 197 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:34,968 Sure. 198 00:09:35,134 --> 00:09:39,127 Oh, a project. That's a definite signal. 199 00:09:39,534 --> 00:09:41,843 By the way, you look really great in that leotard. 200 00:09:42,694 --> 00:09:43,763 Thanks. 201 00:09:43,934 --> 00:09:46,289 That's no signal. Who wouldn't lik e me in this? 202 00:09:46,454 --> 00:09:49,173 I look amazing in this leotard. 203 00:09:49,774 --> 00:09:52,493 lt's weird. l think l had a dream about you last night. 204 00:09:52,654 --> 00:09:54,929 Okay, he open-lips me, he dreams about me... 205 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,564 ... we have an olive project, that's it. I'm asking this guy out. 206 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:01,044 -You know, Greg-- -Can l have a sip of water? 207 00:10:01,214 --> 00:10:03,125 -Yeah, sure. -Thanks. 208 00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,690 Oh, my God. 209 00:10:11,134 --> 00:10:14,570 -l'm sorry. What were you saying? -lt was nothing. Forget it. 210 00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:16,733 See that guy right there? 211 00:10:16,974 --> 00:10:18,726 -Yeah. You mean him? -Yeah. 212 00:10:18,894 --> 00:10:21,408 l caught him urinating in the shower. 213 00:10:22,614 --> 00:10:24,570 l'm thinking about turning him in too. 214 00:10:30,654 --> 00:10:34,090 Honey, could you get me something to drink? 215 00:10:37,134 --> 00:10:40,251 -You're right there. -Come on, l'm sitting. 216 00:10:45,734 --> 00:10:47,645 Honey, what did you do with the can opener? 217 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,612 -l didn't do anything with it. -lt's not here. lt was here yesterday. 218 00:10:50,774 --> 00:10:53,368 -lt's in the first drawer. -l'm looking in there. 219 00:10:53,534 --> 00:10:55,684 -lt's not here. -Yes, it is. 220 00:10:55,854 --> 00:10:57,412 Hey, l'm not stupid. 221 00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,849 l'm looking in that drawer. There's no can opener. 222 00:11:00,334 --> 00:11:04,168 -Did l say you were stupid? -Well, wouldn't l have to be? 223 00:11:05,694 --> 00:11:07,764 You say there's a can opener in the drawer... 224 00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:09,811 ...l'm looking, there's no can opener. 225 00:11:09,974 --> 00:11:12,249 What other conclusion could one reach? 226 00:11:12,414 --> 00:11:15,486 -You want me to go find it? -Yes, l do. 227 00:11:15,894 --> 00:11:18,328 You show me where there's a can opener in that drawer. 228 00:11:18,494 --> 00:11:20,564 Hello. Sorry. l'm just fighting with my wife. 229 00:11:20,774 --> 00:11:22,651 Jerry, we just heard. What's going on? 230 00:11:22,814 --> 00:11:24,088 Why didn't you tell us? 231 00:11:24,254 --> 00:11:26,643 -Listen, Mom-- -lt was in here yesterday. 232 00:11:26,814 --> 00:11:28,850 Yeah. That's what l said. 233 00:11:29,454 --> 00:11:31,285 Who is she? When did this happen? 234 00:11:31,454 --> 00:11:32,887 l told her you'd get married. 235 00:11:33,054 --> 00:11:34,726 She thought you'd never do it. 236 00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:37,044 -Morty, you're talking too loud. -l'm not. 237 00:11:37,214 --> 00:11:40,012 -You're hurting my ear. -You must've done something with it. 238 00:11:40,174 --> 00:11:41,527 l'm on the phone. 239 00:11:41,694 --> 00:11:44,083 ls she there? Can we talk to her? What's her name? 240 00:11:44,254 --> 00:11:45,687 Mom, l'm not married. 241 00:11:45,854 --> 00:11:47,924 -What? -l'm not married. 242 00:11:48,094 --> 00:11:49,846 l knew it. l told you. 243 00:11:50,054 --> 00:11:51,248 Uncle Leo said. 244 00:11:51,414 --> 00:11:54,884 l'm just pretending l'm married to get a discount on dry cleaning. 245 00:11:55,054 --> 00:11:56,533 A discount on dry cleaning? 246 00:11:57,254 --> 00:11:58,892 Could you make a little more noise? 247 00:12:00,254 --> 00:12:02,324 l'll have to call you later. 248 00:12:02,694 --> 00:12:06,004 -Well, l give up. -Well, whoopee-woo. 249 00:12:08,654 --> 00:12:10,326 -You got any coffee? -Yeah. 250 00:12:10,654 --> 00:12:12,087 Oh, boy. 251 00:12:14,454 --> 00:12:16,126 l'll get it, l'll get it. 252 00:12:16,294 --> 00:12:18,933 Take it easy. Why are you so tired? 253 00:12:19,494 --> 00:12:21,689 My quilt is still at the cleaners. 254 00:12:21,854 --> 00:12:24,573 Jerry, l can't sleep without my quilt. 255 00:12:24,734 --> 00:12:27,294 The other night l was cold, so last night... 256 00:12:27,454 --> 00:12:31,129 ...l turned up the heat, it's too hot. l opened up a window, it's too cold. 257 00:12:31,294 --> 00:12:33,854 l can't get into the zone. 258 00:12:35,414 --> 00:12:37,530 What is that? That. 259 00:12:37,854 --> 00:12:39,890 l forgot. 260 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:46,733 l'm sorry about all that can opener stuff. 261 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,890 Yeah. Me too. 262 00:12:50,134 --> 00:12:52,045 -l love you. -l love you. 263 00:12:52,614 --> 00:12:54,411 -Well, good night. -Good night. 264 00:13:03,094 --> 00:13:05,050 They could kick me out if he tells them. 265 00:13:05,214 --> 00:13:07,045 What do you want me to do? 266 00:13:07,214 --> 00:13:09,330 -Talk to him. -How can l do that? 267 00:13:09,494 --> 00:13:11,405 You said he gave you an open-lipped kiss. 268 00:13:11,574 --> 00:13:14,486 But then he wiped his hand on the top of the bottle... 269 00:13:14,654 --> 00:13:17,168 ...when l offered him water. 270 00:13:17,654 --> 00:13:18,973 That doesn't mean anything. 271 00:13:19,134 --> 00:13:20,772 Are you kidding? That's significant. 272 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,050 lf he was interested in me, he'd want my germs. 273 00:13:23,214 --> 00:13:24,932 He'd just crave my germs. 274 00:13:25,134 --> 00:13:27,329 She's right, George. Bottle-wipe is big. 275 00:13:27,934 --> 00:13:29,447 What about the open-lip kiss? 276 00:13:29,614 --> 00:13:32,048 Bottle-wipe supersedes it. 277 00:13:32,894 --> 00:13:35,169 Yeah, you're right. You're right. 278 00:13:35,854 --> 00:13:38,414 Maybe he's not interested, but you still know him. 279 00:13:38,574 --> 00:13:40,769 -Can't you just ask him? -George. 280 00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:42,333 But if l ask him now... 281 00:13:42,534 --> 00:13:45,287 ...l will have no chance of going out with him. 282 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,525 Why? 283 00:13:49,294 --> 00:13:50,886 l don't know. 284 00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:57,364 Could it be because you don't want him to know... 285 00:13:57,534 --> 00:13:59,331 ...that your friend pees in the shower? 286 00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,365 -That's not it. -l think it is. 287 00:14:01,534 --> 00:14:03,923 -That's exactly what it is. -Why couldn't you wait? 288 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,164 l was there. l saw a drain. 289 00:14:06,334 --> 00:14:09,167 -Since when is a drain a toilet? -lt's all pipes. 290 00:14:09,334 --> 00:14:12,246 -What's the difference? -Different pipes go to different places. 291 00:14:12,414 --> 00:14:15,372 -You're gonna mix them up. -l'll call a plumber right now. 292 00:14:15,534 --> 00:14:18,844 -Can we just drop the pee-pipes stuff? -Okay. 293 00:14:19,134 --> 00:14:22,012 Okay, okay, l will talk to him. 294 00:14:22,174 --> 00:14:24,734 -Jerry, l think that quilt is ready. -All right. 295 00:14:24,894 --> 00:14:26,850 -You gotta pick it up. -l'll pick it up. 296 00:14:27,014 --> 00:14:29,767 -But it's the last time l'm doing it. -l'm so tired. 297 00:14:29,934 --> 00:14:32,129 -You don't look good. -Huh? l don't? 298 00:14:32,294 --> 00:14:34,285 -No. You look pale. -Pale? 299 00:14:34,494 --> 00:14:38,089 Oh, my God. l gotta meet Anna's parents today. 300 00:14:41,694 --> 00:14:44,288 Hello? Hi, honey. 301 00:14:44,734 --> 00:14:46,804 Yes, l told him. 302 00:14:46,974 --> 00:14:48,407 l'll get it. 303 00:14:48,774 --> 00:14:50,526 Whenever. 304 00:14:50,814 --> 00:14:52,645 Okay. 305 00:14:53,974 --> 00:14:55,726 Okay, l'm sorry. 306 00:15:01,094 --> 00:15:04,564 -l'm sorry. lt's not ready yet. -Not ready? 307 00:15:05,054 --> 00:15:08,251 lt has to be ready. What kind of a business are you running here? 308 00:15:08,414 --> 00:15:10,644 Who the hell are you? lt's not your quilt. 309 00:15:10,814 --> 00:15:13,886 He's a good friend of mine. He's like an older brother to me. 310 00:15:14,054 --> 00:15:16,807 When things don't go right, he takes it personally. 311 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:19,211 -Maybe tomorrow. -Maybe. 312 00:15:19,374 --> 00:15:20,773 lt's okay. lt'll be okay. 313 00:15:20,934 --> 00:15:22,652 -l'll see you later. -Where you going? 314 00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:25,806 l gotta meet Anna's parents, remember? l look terrible. 315 00:15:25,974 --> 00:15:27,771 l'm gonna hit the tanning machines. 316 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,562 l can't believe you still do that. lt's bad for you. 317 00:15:30,734 --> 00:15:32,486 That's how l maintain my glow. 318 00:15:32,814 --> 00:15:34,770 -l'm going home. -Yeah. 319 00:15:39,294 --> 00:15:40,693 -Excuse me. -Yeah? 320 00:15:41,294 --> 00:15:42,932 How much would it cost to clean this? 321 00:15:43,094 --> 00:15:45,972 -Oh, about $1 3. -Thirteen? 322 00:15:46,494 --> 00:15:48,246 Well, l can't afford that. 323 00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:51,603 Well, l'm sorry. 324 00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:03,370 -Hi, Greg. -Hey. l'll be off in a second. 325 00:16:03,534 --> 00:16:04,887 Okay. 326 00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:07,005 l got the machine next, buddy. 327 00:16:13,854 --> 00:16:15,333 lt's all yours. 328 00:16:20,934 --> 00:16:22,572 What happened? Did he bring it up? 329 00:16:22,734 --> 00:16:24,929 Never mind that. Look at the signal l just got. 330 00:16:25,094 --> 00:16:26,447 Signal? What signal? 331 00:16:26,614 --> 00:16:29,048 He knew l'd use it next. He didn't wipe his sweat off. 332 00:16:29,214 --> 00:16:31,011 That's a gesture of intimacy. 333 00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:32,973 l'll tell you what that is. 334 00:16:33,134 --> 00:16:34,965 That's a violation of club rules. 335 00:16:35,134 --> 00:16:38,843 -Now l got him. You're my witness. -Wait a second, George. Listen. 336 00:16:39,014 --> 00:16:41,369 He knew what he was doing. This was a signal. 337 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:45,129 -A guy leaves sweat, that's a signal? -Yes. lt's a social thing. 338 00:16:45,294 --> 00:16:48,092 lf he left a used Kleenex, what's that, a valentine? 339 00:16:48,734 --> 00:16:51,202 You tell him if he's thinking of turning me in... 340 00:16:51,374 --> 00:16:54,252 -...that l got the goods on him. -l won't be a party to this. 341 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:57,884 So you're gonna let me get suspended for shower urination? 342 00:16:58,054 --> 00:16:59,282 Okay, l'll talk to him... 343 00:16:59,454 --> 00:17:02,252 ...but you're putting me in very a difficult position. 344 00:17:05,334 --> 00:17:07,484 -l can't let you do this. -l want to. 345 00:17:07,734 --> 00:17:10,567 -But it isn't right. l can't. -Give me the clothes. 346 00:17:10,734 --> 00:17:12,326 Jerry, please. 347 00:17:12,694 --> 00:17:15,049 -What about her? -Oh, the hell with her. 348 00:17:16,094 --> 00:17:17,368 l can't. 349 00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:28,213 No, Jerry, please. 350 00:17:28,374 --> 00:17:30,842 l'm not gonna let you walk out of my life. 351 00:17:31,654 --> 00:17:33,372 l can't fight you. 352 00:17:39,294 --> 00:17:40,693 Do you want box or hanger? 353 00:17:41,534 --> 00:17:43,286 You decide. 354 00:18:01,574 --> 00:18:03,610 You're really working up quite a sweat today. 355 00:18:03,774 --> 00:18:06,288 Yeah. Oh, there's the manager. 356 00:18:06,454 --> 00:18:08,763 Good. l think l'm gonna talk to her about that guy. 357 00:18:08,934 --> 00:18:10,492 We can't have men like that here. 358 00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:14,090 -Are you sure you wanna do that? -Yeah. He's disgusting. 359 00:18:14,254 --> 00:18:16,643 Besides, l'll take any chance l can to talk to her. 360 00:18:19,774 --> 00:18:22,846 -You're interested in her? -Very. 361 00:18:26,014 --> 00:18:28,653 You know, l'm engaged. 362 00:18:29,334 --> 00:18:32,292 Yep, l'm getting married in 50 years. 363 00:18:36,174 --> 00:18:37,812 Oh, good, there he is. 364 00:18:37,974 --> 00:18:40,693 l wanna be able to point him out. 365 00:18:41,094 --> 00:18:44,006 You know, Greg, l wouldn't do that if l were you. 366 00:18:44,174 --> 00:18:46,529 -Why? -Well, correct me if l'm wrong... 367 00:18:46,694 --> 00:18:49,492 ...but isn't it a violation of club policy... 368 00:18:49,654 --> 00:18:52,691 ...to not wipe down a machine after using it? 369 00:18:56,374 --> 00:18:58,330 Oh, l see. 370 00:18:58,494 --> 00:19:00,883 You're friends with the urinator, aren't you? 371 00:19:01,054 --> 00:19:04,729 Yeah, well, at least he had a drain. 372 00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,046 There you go, Mrs. Seinfeld. 373 00:19:13,214 --> 00:19:16,843 With your 25 percent discount, it comes to $1 7.80. 374 00:19:17,854 --> 00:19:19,287 Here you go. 375 00:19:23,614 --> 00:19:25,525 Excuse me, this isn't mine. 376 00:19:26,294 --> 00:19:28,125 Oh, yes, it is. 377 00:19:28,294 --> 00:19:30,330 Your husband brought it in himself. 378 00:19:31,614 --> 00:19:33,047 Really? 379 00:19:34,894 --> 00:19:36,247 Thank you. 380 00:19:40,174 --> 00:19:41,607 That's him. 381 00:19:44,254 --> 00:19:45,846 Hi. 382 00:19:54,814 --> 00:19:56,566 You son of a bitch. 383 00:19:57,494 --> 00:19:59,450 -l'm sorry. -Who is she? 384 00:19:59,614 --> 00:20:02,174 -l want to know who she is. -lt doesn't matter. 385 00:20:02,614 --> 00:20:04,206 l want a divorce. 386 00:20:06,134 --> 00:20:07,453 A divorce? 387 00:20:07,614 --> 00:20:10,333 So you can marry her and give her the discount? 388 00:20:10,974 --> 00:20:12,327 Yes, that's right. 389 00:20:12,494 --> 00:20:15,452 -What happened to us, Jerry? -l'll tell you what happened. 390 00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:17,366 We got married. 391 00:20:18,414 --> 00:20:20,803 l'm sorry. This is my fault. l pushed it on you. 392 00:20:20,974 --> 00:20:24,046 No. l guess l just wasn't ready for the responsibilities... 393 00:20:24,214 --> 00:20:26,091 ...of a pretend marriage. 394 00:20:27,774 --> 00:20:29,127 Goodbye, Jerry. 395 00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,133 l forgot. 396 00:20:33,614 --> 00:20:35,332 This is your maple syrup. 397 00:20:35,654 --> 00:20:37,690 lt's all right, l want you to have it. 398 00:20:38,254 --> 00:20:39,812 Okay, thanks. 399 00:20:41,214 --> 00:20:43,364 We'll always have pancakes. 400 00:20:45,054 --> 00:20:46,646 Goodbye, Jerry. 401 00:20:49,174 --> 00:20:51,847 l thought you said you was bringing a white boy home. 402 00:20:52,014 --> 00:20:53,970 l don't see a white boy. 403 00:20:54,134 --> 00:20:56,011 l see a damn fool. 404 00:21:06,774 --> 00:21:08,605 To me, the thing about marriage is... 405 00:21:08,774 --> 00:21:11,004 ...l can't believe how often it happens. 406 00:21:12,774 --> 00:21:15,732 l like the idea of it, but l can't believe that many people... 407 00:21:15,894 --> 00:21:18,806 ...are meeting people that they want to see every single day... 408 00:21:18,974 --> 00:21:22,171 ...every day, every day, every day, every day. 409 00:21:22,334 --> 00:21:26,566 That should happen, like, three or four times in the whole century. 410 00:21:26,734 --> 00:21:29,168 Like any big investment, you sign a marriage contract. 411 00:21:29,334 --> 00:21:31,802 Here's your person. lf you're a man, the bride's family... 412 00:21:31,974 --> 00:21:34,169 ...pays for the wedding, like getting cash back. 413 00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:37,212 ''Till death do us part'' that's the extended warranty program. 414 00:21:37,374 --> 00:21:39,524 You give her the ring, that's the keys. 415 00:21:39,694 --> 00:21:43,209 You slide it on, start him up, but you've got to make it work. 416 00:21:43,374 --> 00:21:47,128 Your value drops 20 percent when you drive each other off the lot. 417 00:21:53,254 --> 00:21:55,245 Subtitles by SDl Media Group